 Hello, and welcome to Out of the Comfort Zone on Think Tech Hawaii on OC16 Television. I'm RB Kelly, your host, and we've got a sweet guest today, but first, your Book of the Week. Now this is the like switch. This is actually one of my very favorite books, and one of my very first body language books. If there is someone in your life in business, in relationships, even someone you've just been dying to talk to but haven't been able to work up the courage yet, I would encourage you to check out the like switch by Jack Schaefer. He is an ex-FBI agent, and looking through this book, I actually used his friendship formula to attract my husband, which was an uphill battle, but with this book it worked out. So you can find this on Amazon, eBay, Google, wherever you look. Check out the like switch by Jack Schaefer. And for your body language tip of the week, this is something I've been doing to you consistently every time I get on camera, and it's something you do whenever you meet someone you know or hear something interesting. It's called an eyebrow flash. I just did it, eyebrow flash. Whenever someone walks in that you know, you recognize, or you like, you tend to flash your eyes at them, just a quick eyebrow flash. Now if you do it too long, it's a little bit awkward, it's a little bit weird. And if you do it like too much, like, hi, it's a little weird too. So just do the one for half a second, up to one second, that's called an eyebrow flash. And that's a friendship signal. It's something you send to people to say, hi, I know you, I like you, you're cool, let's be friends. Now you don't see this signal as much in Japan, they don't tend to use their eyebrows as much, but everywhere else in the world, the eyebrow flash, just like that, says hi, I like you, you're cool, let's be friends. So if you pair it with a smile, with a wave, handshake, or even a shaka, that's a good way to say, you're cool, I'm cool, let's be friends. And that is your Body Language Tip of the Week, and if you want to learn more, you can visit BodyLanguageBoss.com. But now, onto the meaty part of the show, our favorite part, I've got a really cool guest for you today. His name is Jared Larson, CEO of, what is your company, Jared? Breakaway Consulting and YDP for Life, which is a youth development program as well. Youth development program. Well, thank you for being here, I'm going to shake your hand. That's a good handshake. Yeah, that's a good one. So what exactly do you do, Jared? Yeah, that's a great question. It's really interesting. I've had an opportunity over my business career to really establish what my purpose or my calling in life is, and I think that so many people go through life wondering and struggling what that is, and not really giving much purpose or thought to it. And I think about six years ago, I really made a purposeful and intentional desire to find that. For me, I think if I were to answer what I do, I'd change people's lives. I help transform businesses, I help transform people, and I give them that opportunity to step into their own greatness. Wow. The one thing you said that really struck out to me was finding your passion. And I know so many people, and I've been one of those people who's just going through the motions at a job that they hate, just showing up, but in my own life, when I finally found something I love to do that passion, it changed everything. So is that what you help people do? You help them find the purpose and the passion in their life? Yeah, absolutely. Starting with businesses, right? And it's so interesting, as I come in and consult with various different businesses, we have to start at the personal level. So many people focus on the business and the metrics and the numbers. What I really believe in is in transformational consulting, and that is starting at the human level, at that personal level, that one-on-one conversation, and really helping them understand who they are, who they want to be, and where they want to go. And once we start identifying that people's passions and purposes start aligning with whether it's a corporation, or whether it's a family, or whether it's a relationship or dating, they start understanding what direction they can take, right? Wow. Could you repeat one part for me? You want them to understand who they are? Yeah, who they are, what their purpose is, or their passion. Some people call it a why, and then they know how to get there. And one thing that I hear, and people at home, if you're struggling, if you're watching this and you're thinking, I'm stuck, or you've just been wandering aimlessly, maybe no direction or purpose, I want you to think about this. When we go somewhere, do we simply jump in our car, back out of our garage, and decide to drive somewhere and then make a decision? Or do we make a decision on where we want to go, get in the car, put the seatbelt on, and say, I'm going to TCBY to get white chocolate mousse with Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, and you drive straight there. And I know it's kind of funny, but the reality of that situation is, when we know where we're going or headed, we can get there much easier, and it really cuts out this getting stuck. It gives us a little bit of that supreme focus on that end point or that end goal in mind, right? You know, Jared, that's really cool. I was having a conversation just the other day when I was telling me that they felt like they were stuck in a rut. They didn't like their life. They felt uncomfortable. They felt like they weren't living up to their full potential. Sure. So if you had that person in front of you, what's the very first thing you would want to say to them? Yeah. So I'm really visual. I would probably draw these two really weird boxes, one down here, and I would say, RB, tell me where you're at today. What does this box represent? And that might be, I'm stuck. I'm struggling. I'm unhappy. I'm not good enough. I don't feel self-worth. My job is just boring. I don't know what that box looks like for that individual. The next question I'm going to do is ask is, I'm going to draw a box up here and I'm going to say, where do you want to be? Who do you want to become and what does this look like? The interesting part is most people that are stuck have not given any thought to this piece. Oh. When they haven't given thought to this piece, it's so challenging to start having those conversations to help them get there. They have no idea where they're going. No idea where they're going. And once they identify this piece, then we can show them and start working with them on the steps that are necessary to get from where they are to who they want to be or become. And I always say be who you be, not who you are. And what I mean by that is be who you are becoming or wanting to become rather than who you are today. And as we live into that becoming piece, it pushes us and it stretches us out of our comfort zone into a different sphere where it's challenging. And it's so healthy. It's been such an amazing piece when I ask people those questions. You know, something that you said to me like really hit me so much that I had to write it down. Be who you are becoming, not who you are. And I think that makes so much sense. I mean if we don't like where we are, but we stay where we are and we keep being the person that we are, we're never going to get any happier. So to imagine and think of the person you want to be in this box up here and then start being that person, that's incredible. And you know what is really strange is I work with athletes. I've worked with some really amazing people that are still stuck in the past. And they believe that their identity or that their role in whom they are today was the past, right? Whether it was a professional football player or whether it was an amazing CEO or business individual, right? Our past has absolutely nothing to do with our future. And it's a really interesting phrase. Our past has absolutely nothing to do with our future. People will argue with me on that. It's really quite funny actually. And they say, you know, I've had this, experienced this. I've been in a relationship or divorced. And I'm really proud of who I've become today. And I say, that's right. The things that you've done, even yesterday and in your past, have helped shape you to who you are today. However, they have nothing to do with you moving forward and the decisions you make from the time that I leave this studio with RB today and the decisions that I make to whom I want to become. And that's the most important thing is we have the ability to change that at any point as long as we take ownership of that process. That's incredible. That's a radical idea that your past has nothing to do with your future. And we're going to hear more about that after a quick break. I'm a firefighter. A teacher. I'm a farmer. I'm a barber. A waitress. A mom. We're all part of your community. Every day we move in and out of each other's busy lives. It's easy to take for granted all the little moments that make up our every day. Some are good, others not so much. But that's life. It's when you experience a moment of uncertainty, something or someone's behavior that doesn't seem quite right. These are the moments to take a pause. Because if something doesn't feel right, it's probably not. It's not about paranoia or being afraid. It's about standing up and protecting our communities. One detail at a time. Because a lot of little details can become a pattern. We. We. We. We trust our instincts. Just like you should. Because only you know what's not supposed to be in your every day. So protect your every day. If you see something suspicious, say something to local authorities. I just walked by and I said, what's happening guys? One word back. Welcome to Out of the Comfort Zone on Think Tech Hawaii on OC16 Television. Now we are here with Jared Larson and we were talking about the gap between where you are and where you want to be. So tell me more about that gap, Jared. Yeah. Well, the gap is something that I believe is what separates the good from the great or the potential average and the achievers. And the reason that I say that is as we live in our life today, our current comfort zone, everything that we know, it feels great, normal. There's routine. There's habits that we've created. When we step outside of that box, it's uncomfortable. It's painful. It hurts a little bit, you know? And I know you've probably done something in your life where you're saying, wow, this just doesn't feel right. The tendency is to fade back into that box, back to where it's comfortable, in essence, not growing. And so what I believe is that the difference between the good and the great are the great have this ability to push past that uncomfortable level. And then they realize that this gap that exists, this seemingly large gap, and sometimes I'll even talk about weight loss, right? Feel that overweight person and their doctor orders them to lose a lot of weight. And this top box represents losing a lot of weight. Sometimes they won't even start the process because the gap looks so big. Wow. Almost impossible, right? That makes sense. I remember, all right, I used to have a day job and when I finally quit the day job to focus on body language, coaching full time, I was terrified out of my wits. I couldn't sleep for weeks, but I knew I had to do it. I knew I had to do it if I was ever going to become the person I wanted to be. Wow. You know, that's so true. In becoming who I wanted to be, I had to come up and people were like saying, you need to have some sort of amazing story. You need to know exactly what you want. And I struggled with, I was wrestling with this idea, but I needed to know what I wanted to be and it didn't come to me easily. Some people have these great ideas to go off to Africa and change the world and that didn't resonate with me. But what I did land on was this, very simple for me, that every morning when I wake up and my two feet hit the ground, I need to have at least one meaningful conversation that by having such could potentially change that individual's life forever. And everything in my life shifted. My consulting shifted. My relationship with my wife shifted. My friendships shifted because rather than focusing on all the ancillary noise and things that can be going on in the world, I focused on being present with RB today. I focused on being present with our listeners and really engaging on a deeper level and saying, what is it that I could give that would be so meaningful and purposeful today as I deliver something that by giving it could potentially change their life forever? And I just love that. Wow. That was an awesome, awesome experience Jared. Thank you for sharing that. Yeah. I have another question for you. What are some of the biggest obstacles people face when they start trying to get out of that lower box? Sure. I think that a couple of the first things that happen, number one is they don't dream big enough. So it's very simple. A lot of times people will go from this box and they'll set a very maybe short-minded or not very big goal because they know that they can achieve it easy. Right? We're success driven. We want to have success in our life. So we set these very shallow goals just so that we can achieve them and achieve them. Not suggesting that that's bad. However, I want you to dream big. I want you to start thinking about the impact that you can have by creating something or by doing something, maybe it's shifting into a new job or a new relationship. I want you to dream big and create that. If you fall short of that, then you fall short to right here and that's okay. The next thing that I think people struggle with is looking at that gap, seeing this huge gap, the word is slipping my mind, but there's this huge gap and not understanding the systematic steps that they can take to get there. They focus on the end result more than they do on the daily behaviors that it requires to achieve the result. So you need to have that bigger goal to dream for, but you also need to have a daily regimen of steps to take you up that staircase to get you all the way there. Absolutely. And so if you just have the dream but you don't have any of the steps, you won't get there. Is that what you're saying? You bet. And here's the million dollar question. Are your habits, rituals and routines lining up with who you want to become? I'm going to ask that again. Are your habits, rituals and routines daily lining up with who you want to become? And that's the million dollar question, is what you're doing pushing you, propelling you or catapulting you into who you want to become? Or is it dragging you down? Is it dragging you down? Wow. So what are some of the advice you give people when they're trying to design this daily schedule to get from where they are, where they want to be? Yeah. First of all, I'm going to sit down with them and I'm going to establish passions that they have, things that they desire, things that light them up. For example, I may ask a question, Arby, take me back to a time when you remember you were so happy. You just had this energy and this light and something was exuding from you. When was that? I think that might have been the last time I took my dog to the dog park. I'm a bit of an animal lover. I also feel that every time I get on the stage to answer a question or to actually physically help someone with their body language. Incredible. I want you to remember that feeling. I want you to remember that energy because that was some light and peace that's saying, stay in this zone, stay here, right? And I want you to recreate that through the steps that you're going to take in who you want to become. And we'll take the goal and now we're going to back into it to what you can be doing daily. More often than not, I'll say show me your calendar and I'll show you your future. Explain that. Show me your calendar. Show me your future. It's so interesting as I ask people to show me their calendar, they say, oh yeah, no, no, I've got a calendar. It's awesome. It's got a bunch of stuff. I've a lot of appointments. And I say, no, really, show me your calendar. Let me see it on your phone. Let me see it digitally or in your day planner, however they use it. And more often than not, it's just white space. If we don't plan, if we're not purposeful and intentional, achieving those goals is very challenging. So, the next piece is to sit down and start time blocking the most important pieces in your life to help you achieve that goal, putting it on your calendar, actually having it in writing. And so the most important pieces are going to be those parts that get you to where you want to be, that help you be that person you want to be. Is that right? Absolutely. And we start with values. So if you just start filling up your calendar with stuff, usually it's not the most important stuff. For example, I love people. I will give. I will serve all day long. Guess who goes on my calendar last? Yourself. Myself. That's exactly right. When I need to be filling up my gas tank and maybe putting that on the calendar ahead of other things. So as we identify, maybe it's our top six values, we can then take that and we can time block them in order of importance in our life to ensure that we're giving an appropriate or proportionate amount of time to the things that we want to grow in our life. So when you say values, do you mean things like courage, like honesty? Are those the values you're thinking of? You know, I wouldn't say what that value is. For some of you, the value may be health. Others it may be a relationship. Others it might be faith. It could be courage. It could be honesty. It's part of the goal that you're shooting for. Absolutely. Oh, okay. And then what we do is we take that and let's say health is one of mine and financial security. But health is my highest priority. I'll make sure that I put cycling, working out, or running ahead of my priority for financial security and maybe that's work and different ideals here. However, so often people do it backwards. That makes so much sense. That makes so much sense that okay, the person that you want to be is helping and financially secure and has a great relationship with their spouse. Like you are going to put those things first above anything else that comes up in the day. So that your daily steps are consciously the first part of every day is getting you towards where you want to be and helping you go up and get closer to this person you want to be. Is that right? You got it. That is so cool. I love sharing the example with my wife. So I love her like crazy and she is one of my highest priorities. The interesting piece is I love my bicycle. I love to ride and cycle and actually at a point, maybe my bike was super up there with my wife in terms of importance. However, certainly my wife is more important than my bike. However, my health and fitness, I would ask myself this question, in riding my bike right now, am I impeding upon the time that I have allowable to push my relationship with my wife to the next level? And if it did impede on that time, my choice was to spend time with my wife and the cycling took the second nature, right? The same is in business. As you identify key performance indicators, as there are metrics and benchmarks that you've established and created within your organization, take them in level of importance. One thing that I really believe is people make things that are called to-do lists. And I wish that I could like scratch that out and never allow someone to ever make it to-do list because what we do with to-do list, we make this awesome long list of 50 things, all of which are typically meaningless and really easy just so we can check them off and feel really good about ourselves. When in reality, we should rename this list, the success list and the things that we have to do to be successful in business. And then we start by prioritizing the most valuable, the most important that will push us and propel us into that second box of who are we coming as an individual or an organization. Wow. Now, I have to tell the audience, all right? I have seen a lot of public speakers. As a body language trainer, I do a lot of public speaking myself and I've gotten to the point where I think a lot of public speakers are kind of boring. But I've seen you speak, Jared, and it was the first time in almost over a year that I had actually been like glued to my notebook taking notes when you spoke. I loved your presentation. You're totally awesome, which is one of the reasons I invited you onto this show. So other people can see how awesome you are. But what are some other ways people can learn from you? Do you do coaching? How can people learn from you? Yeah, so I do do coaching. I would invite anybody to visit breakaway.consulting. It's a website. I also work in the youth arena. The youth arena. And recently launched a youth development program called YDP for Life on the North Shore of Oahu to work with kids and not just troubled kids. I mean the very thing we're talking about today. How to give children or youth purpose, direction and clarity. I don't believe there's anyone that's bad or necessarily struggling. I believe that we just need to reshift their energy, reshift their focus and mindset and give them tools to be successful in life. And so that's been a piece that has been an amazing part of my life in working with these youth and seeing them achieve so many great things. You know that really hits home for me. I'm like 23 years old. I'm pretty young. But I remember being a teenager, going through high school, trying to figure out what I was going to be, what I was going to do with my life. And everyone would just tell me, oh you can be anything you want to be. And I was like, that's not actually helpful. So if I had had someone like you to come to my school to work with me and help me figure out what I actually am passionate about, what makes me feel alive. The kind of person I want to be. I can just imagine I would have gotten started on this track so much sooner. Yeah. You know, think about this. Think about our businesses. Think about our youth today. All the struggles and challenges that they have is very simple for me as a consultant or a business coach or a life coach to come in here and just start telling you all the things that you should do. But let's realize all the challenges and the struggles that they are faced with on a daily basis. And for me, I got into the coaching arena and the consulting world because I went to some of my mentor most amazing seminars. Oh, life changing. I mean, incredible. And I got this super energy high. I went there and I came back. I'm like, I am changing the world. This is, I got this. I'm going to knock all this out, do 2,500 things and change everybody's life. And then I got back to the real world. And what I realized was I slipped back into my same friendships. I slipped back into my same habits. I slipped back into my same routines. And pretty soon I didn't take action on anything. The reality is I want to help give people the tools and the steps and the stick-to-itiveness to form the habits that they need. Show me your friends and I'll show you your future. The people that you hang around, the people that you're thinking like and talking with shape your future. They are so important to where you are headed and where you're going to end up. And so I believe that talking to these kids and sharing the importance of mindset and how they think, it's absolutely life changing. So is it a program that parents can get their kids in? Is it something where you go and visit schools? How could people get their kids here? Yeah, all of the above. All of the above. So I can go visit schools. I can be doing motivational speaking gigs. I have Dream Create Live Academy. They're 10 week academies that these youth can participate in. It's hard. So I was that kid back in the day that took your pen and would be beating on the table. People would coin me, which I hate is I'm ADD or I struggle with this. They put me in a box and said, you need medication and my parents refused. They bought me two drumstick lessons and my dad went and bought me whistling lessons and he said, this is how we're gonna overcome it. And with youth, I believe that they tried to tune me over here. And my learning styles rhythmic, I'm a mover, I'm fast paced. I'm that shaker and there are so many kids. But if you allow me to touch, feel, sense, and engage on a deeper level, I learned it was the most incredible, talented individual in the world. There's so many kids out there like that that were just like me or maybe not like me but experienced learning in the same way. I've taken real world principles and smashed them together with experiential learning. Meaning hands on, feeling, touching, being involved. I believe that that can life hack learning for these kids and help take them to the next level faster. So the real difference, it's not enough just to hear about, these are the steps you should take. It's not enough just to sit through a motivational speaker. It sounds like you're saying the magic is when they actually get to practice doing something different. Practice, actually be involved in the experience of changing their lives. And that's what really makes it stick, is that right? Yeah, I think that that's where the rubber meets the road. So many people are talented at standing up and teaching and telling everybody what they need to do. I'm saying, let me do that just a little bit, but my focus is on the corporation. My focus is on the youth and getting them to stand up and teach me because they're doing it themselves. I believe that to master anything you've got to do and you've got to engage and the quicker we can get to that do and that engage, we'll see faster gains. Now from a body language perspective, I think your, suppose that ADD is actually working for you because it makes you more interesting to watch. For the viewers, if you've been watching him, he's actually been using a lot of hand gestures. He's been using a lot of facial expressions, which makes it really engaging to watch. Because our eyes are drawn to movement. So we're just like, what's he gonna do next? And that helps us to key in and actually take in your words. So I think that's one of the reasons you are such a powerful speaker. It's not just your body language, but it's also the content you help just kind of like suck people in and let them hear and feel the content with you. So I am looking forward to talking with you again. We've got like just about a minute left on our show, but is there anything you'd like to say in the last 10, 15 seconds to our viewers? Yeah, I think that there's an old quote that says, logic makes people think, emotion makes people act. And I would encourage all of you that are listening to get out the logical mindset. What makes logical sense isn't necessarily what's best. But what I want you to do is challenge yourself to become vulnerable and become transparent and to become emotional. Yeah, it's not the most manly thing in the world, but I can guarantee you that as you tap into that emotional side, you will see shifts in your life occur and you will achieve that next level of success. Start lifting those muscles that you haven't lifted before and step into your greatness by first dreaming big. Two is create that dream and live the life that you desire. Awesome, awesome. Thank you so much, Jared. It's been such a pleasure to have you here. It's been wonderful. Thank you. Well, this is it, viewers. I'm RB Kelly. This is out of the comfort zone on Think Tech Hawaii on OC16 television. You stay tuned, you'll see other shows following up and I'll be back here if I'm not fired. Next Thursday at 11 a.m. on OC16 television. Thank you everyone and aloha.