 Good morning everyone. My name is Landon. I'm here with Technicult Radio. Today we'll be doing radio shows up versus sonic ramen. Hope you enjoy Hey, there's like there's like a couple seats over there. No, I don't want to sit all the way in the front Well, I mean all right. How about those in the middle? Yeah, it seems good These kids they're driving me insane. Oh, sorry. Excuse me. Hey, that's hot Oh Yeah, these seats aren't too bad That's all sticky. You're at the movie theater. Of course, they're gonna be a little sticky Maybe the floor. I wasn't picking the seat to be like this. Well, you could shut up. No one's about to start Geez, what's this guy's problem? It's just a few previews. Most of them probably gonna suck anyways. Come on I want to see them Coming this fall What if I told you you could have it all what do you mean everything you could have everything in anything? Money cars girls your own little start on Hollywood Boulevard. I have to do a sign If you were offered fame and fortune on a golden plate, would you take it all I have for my character's mom? You're as well besides your father fine Go off make a fool of yourself in front of everyone in Hollywood Hello, my name is Ronnie little and I'll be auditioning for the role of Constell Yeager Hello governor You got that you've got a young Pacino on you you've got the job Experience the rise of one man and the award goes to Ronnie little I Never thought I'd make this far. I just want to say that I proved you wrong mom your little boy is a star and a man I'm a man now Ronnie what can we expect for you now that you're award-winning it active? Well, you know I have some things in the works Hey, you better watch that pretty mouth Might not be so pretty soon to be or not to be that is the question whether it is noble in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune It's just you and me Jar Jar we have to save the princess look out for that walker Matilda I see myself in your eyes like a reflection in a pool of water except I'm drowning in this ocean into your deep blue Ron I feel like we're more than just two actors working together We've connected on an emotional level that really can't be explained through words But must be seen to be understood words can truly not describe our love no You know you should probably use your words in experience one man's fall. Oh Yeah Ronnie do you have anything to say about the reports of your erratic behavior on the set of your new movie? Yeah, there'd be no need for the rag behavior if food services got the junior mints I requested Ronnie little doesn't work without the mini morsels of chocolate. Oh Ronnie. I don't even know you anymore Can you see you're killing yourself? Experience the true story of one man's journey to make it big from the bottom to the top I'm already a star mom, but I'm gonna be bigger Ronnie little's going in the moon And next time you see me. I'll be a junior men in space twinkling far and wide junior mint the Ronnie little story Yeah, I don't I don't know about you guys, but that looks pretty good. I just have a hard time understanding Hollywood You know, I mean who comes up with this stuff That's really a true story I think they're gonna be here a while Yeah, look at them bastards so gallant and heady. I can't imagine they'll bring any justice to these town No, I suppose not, but I guess we'll steal with them anyways By decree of Caesar this time is ours. It will civilize your customs and lands How dare you not some kind of subjects of your Caesar take away this mess Well, we're right one here, let's make sure work of you come here stop On the ground you Does anyone else have anything to say I Thought not well, we're off boys Pigs of Robin Empire coming summer 2025 That's alright a little short kind of kind of strange to have like trailer for a movie That's not like coming out for like 10 years. It's interesting choice. Yeah, I don't know. We'll see how it goes I guess hey look the next one's about to start Some challenges can seem unbreakable Doctor I've never seen bone break it's quite like this before can you cure it? My god, there's just no way Less you couldn't possibly some lines are meant to be crossed The only way to get these bones back together are to break them coming this summer one orthopedist is going to break apart What we know about medicine doctor has cured And that's when the aliens from planet metatarsia attacks doctor the military is losing the sword we need you I swore to only use my powers to heal people. I'm a doctor not a war hero Damn it man. There won't be anyone to heal unless you help No, they broke through doctor, please well, you know what they say if you want to make an omelette You gotta break a few legs But that's not all sweetest massage therapists join the fight to end the tension Alien King we fought this war for years, but it ends now Oh No, my bones all my bones are broken But one can only break so far Until the only option left is to break The breakening coming this summer playing now tears The breakening the the breakening breakening the breakening the breakening Yeah, I want to see that but you see that Yeah, I just kind of see it to see if they say the breakening in it I could just say it all over on every day all over and over again the breakening the breakening the breakening Hey, what do you not understand about being in a movie theater? Somebody's a chill pill this summer rethink reality got you Gary Doc Doc he's waking up We wake up to a whole new world max. Where am I? The hospital you've been out for two years. What I was don't worry. We'll get out here soon Where everything you knew was a lie What is that? What cars? Yeah, but why are they flying? What? You haven't been gone for that long stop playing around where everything you see does not line with your memories Why are you acting so weird? I don't know. Where's the phone? Let me call my parents. What's a phone? What? Do you question everything? What are you doing Gary? Where am I max? Who are you? Are you my real brother? Where is my wife? What are you talking about? Of course, I'm your brother Get away from me. I didn't want to do this Initiating restart or do you accept it Gary? Doc doc he's waking up. I Woken coming soon in theaters near you I Got to see that what if like real life was no like what if there was no real life You know and it was all like a simulation or something like in that movie like in any second someone could just hit the restart button Yeah, I don't know Yeah, I mean I don't really think about that Like not at all you guys don't question your existence. I mean not really I Mean maybe not in the way that you're talking about I mean if everything was really just a simulation then wouldn't everything have like a predetermined path IDK man, maybe but like who controls the path who determines it? I feel like that's straying a bit away from what I was originally asking we should talk about it Yeah, I mean like when are we gonna find a better time to talk about existentialism than right now? Okay, so where's life begin? Is that a good question to start with? Yeah. Well, how do you mean? Well, like can you kids just be quiet? What is wrong with you? Who taught you to act like this? This is awkward Excuse me, sir. Sir. I'm gonna have to ask you to leave. You're disturbing the other guest You're gonna kick me out. You should kick these people out while they're making all this noise Sir, sir. Why don't we just take a step outside? We can talk about this. Maybe get your refund You don't need to drag me out. I can walk myself Geez I've got issues who talks like that in a movie theater. That's just really inconsiderate, you know Oh, come on guys the movies about to start on me. Oh, man So, yeah, we originally We were coming up with ideas like what we could do radio theater for we just thought it'd be funny Like if we all went to the movies we saw a bunch of like satirical trailers about like random stuff Okay, what was there? What would you say the most challenging aspect of this whole thing was for you? The sound effects, I mean like the music especially to like we used a piano And like so we had to have someone running between sound effects than the piano I'm sure you saw as we were like running around like we were like me and Eric We're switching off back and forth like tripping over each other. So yeah, maybe next time have someone do sound or music What do you think the most interesting sound was for you to make and how the laser sound that was fun Like we were we're racking our brains trying to find out like how we can make a laser sound So finally I just googled your friend, you know, I was like, how do you make laser sounds? And apparently this is like invented for Star Wars But you just get like a slinky extended really tight put like a foam cup in the middle of two of the the rings And then you hit it with like a knife or something like one of the things and kind of rake it a bit And it makes like this chuu chuu chuu noise and we're like cool because now we also do that like that, you know Chuu chuu that just sounds bad So that was that's pretty interesting. I wanted to make. Okay, if you could do this again What would what would you do differently? Like I said, probably definitely get a dedicated person on music and then Yeah, maybe maybe just Yeah, just I don't know we we kind of like spread out the acting roles I think maybe it might have been better if we just had two people like change their voice and then maybe had one person dedicated to Foley because it was like this all of Like it's that was 10 minutes in my head It felt like one minute because of like the constant turn around for everything Oh, yeah, I'm sure I'm sure Do you have any other ideas for what your skit was before this came to fruition? You know, I was really inspired by the show Rick and Morty I don't know if seen it but they have this one episode where they have a bunch of improvisational sketches done And they actually did a movie trailer called two brothers, which is just insane random action movie stuff So I was kind of trying to something the vein of that with my the one I wrote for this sketch was the breakening about a doctor who breaks bones to To defeat enemies and save the people Yeah, I would like to do some other trailers like that I'm in front of you like a romance or something too. Yeah, definitely We're all these trailers on your own ideas or where did you get some? From somewhere else We the way we split up the work was that everyone was just gonna come up with their own like two minute to two two minutes two and a half minute Like sketch for this so everyone like Eric with K. He wanted to do like kind of like a rising star You know true Hollywood story kind of a thing John wanted to do kind of like a history timepiece of like the Roman Empire Eric Eric Eric did some crazy stuff. He was He he wanted to do like a film that about you know How those films that like try to like make you like eyes wide shut like what was really going on? But like a really normal real-life situation So yeah, the point of all of them was to kind of like make fun of those movies who like take themselves too seriously But you know, I know how effectively Yeah, that one um that one with the total reality thing kind of remind me of total recall I don't know if you've seen that movie. Yeah, but it kind of was an eerily reminiscent of that For sure But overall this was a really really great skit Jack and I thank you for your time. Thank you And I'm glad you enjoyed it. No, yeah, I hope all four listeners enjoyed it as well Yeah, thank you for listening and thanks for performing Jack. It's nice meeting you for hand shaking right now I can't shake it. You can't see it It's a good time And since we still smell a dead time I guess Jack Well guys, I hope you enjoyed Sonic Rahman's piece up next is Ladeos with their radio skit and I hope you enjoy it Hello folks Welcome to the first ever KDRT speed dating social Love is in the air That was beautiful I need to go wipe my tears so let's get started Let's introduce our bachelor not Michael Hello beautiful people My name is not Michael and I'm very honored to be KDRT's bachelors for their very first Speed dating social Thank you for that simulating introduction Please show yourself to the love throne while we bring out your first date. Oh Meetings come back bad kitty bad kitty. Oh Well, hello there, mr. Tom cat Okay, what's your name Mario name doesn't matter you can call me miss muffins. Oh, maybe later you can call me missis muffins Is that a family name? You know your piercing eyes remind me of my first cat. His name was sir. Henry McNabeau the fifth How nice He died in a horrible accident. I don't really want to talk about it. Oh, okay That's okay. We can talk about something else I can still hear his sweet mail some evenings when I flip through the scrapbook and made in his honor Meow of the black and white cat. Please come and get him Management won't let me keep him and now on to our next bachelorette Well, hello there. You look like a fine young gentleman. My name's peaches. What's your name sweetheart? Hi, my name is so how many kids do you want? I think I'd like about 10 maybe 11 if 10 just doesn't seem like enough I've always wanted little mini-me's wandering around My one true dream in life is to make an entire little league baseball team with all of my kids I just love going through baby books and choosing all the darlin names I could use I see hundreds and hundreds of names that I just love It's going to be so hard narrowing it down to just 10 I'm sorry It's okay sugar. Oh that reminds me talking about babies makes me so Poshed don't they have sweet tea in this restaurant? Well, that's fine. Anyways, what do you think I should call my baseball team baseball team? You know the one made up of my unborn children Our next date is I'm sorry. I can't read this. It's just a bunch of squares with lines in it I can't understand you. I don't speak Chinese What a cultural experience that was and just in case you haven't had your fill of foreign bachelor Here comes another one My name is Ivanka Your face it is like a babushka. How many winters have you seen? Um, I'm not sure that is enough your voice It is soft like dandelion I wish to bear your children take a shot with me. It's ancient russian tradition. I um Is this vodka vodka? What do I look like an infant? This is a little bit stronger. It's good for you. Put some hair on your baby like chest Cheers Vladimir Putin Goes down smooth, doesn't it? What is that stuff old russian recipe battery acid and root beer Oh, man, I hate root beer. What is that smell? Anyways, here's our next bachelorette Like hey, I'm susan. How are you doing? Hey, good. How are you? Well, my name is susan, but I prefer to be called rainbow sunshine Since it was my life's calling to brighten people's lives. I'm totally digging your aura I'm seeing a lot of indigo. Ooh and a touch of golden amber really emanating from your body Thanks I guess So I totally think that our spirits are really meshing here But I know one way to really make sure Um, what would that be? So these are my specialized star charts. My psychic made them for me I had to spend the money I use on my incense for them, but it was like totally worth it Apparently this is the month I find my eternal partner. Wait, I'm sorry. What eternal what eternal partner silly So how often do you shower? I really try to retain the presence of my body's natural odors It like makes me feel closer to nature But that's not just because I like sleeping on piles of mud and dead leaves So tie-dye like yay or nay And now folks we have a very special guest joining us Everyone give a cold alaskan welcome For 2008 republican vice presidential candidate, sarah paylan Whoa there. Whoa maverick. Oh must have seen a democrat back there. Sheesh. Oh, hi there. I'm sarah paylan Is that a moose? No, no, no need for tricky questions you rascal. You know, I'm just your average hockey mom No, I wasn't getting special treatment. Do you know the difference between a pitbull and a hockey mom? Um, I don't think so. No, it's the lipstick. Isn't that something? Yeah It's really you know what else is something You know, I can see russia from my backyard. You can see russia. Exactly, you know, it's like I always said Only dead fish go with the flow. I don't see how that's relevant. Exactly, you know, these terrorists and that concludes our first ever kdrt speed dating social not michael so Which one of these inciting bachelors is your lady of choice? Well, I really felt a connection with ivanka Really? No, I got to get out of here So Sarah, I heard you can see russia from your backyard I sure can Come with me. I show you alaska from my backyard Well, everyone that was ladies with their fantastic radio performance I'm here with a real so how you doing? How was that? That was a thrill landon. That was an absolute thrill. I feel on top of the world That's fantastic. I'm glad to hear it. So, um, what was your uh, what's your part in this um, this radio show? What did you do? I played ivanka and sarah palin, which were less of roles and more of parts of myself I just unearthed for this Skit do you really feel a connection with these two people? I do. It's like their sisters. I never knew that's amazing That's crazy. Also the very end. I saw that you were talking to yourself as sarah palin and ivanka, you know It happens more often than you think and to have it, you know Publicized, I think it's really good for my mental health And for my personal stability That's good to hear. So I heard you speak a little bit of russian earlier. Do you speak russian? I speak a fluent three words in russian. So my um, expertise goes far and wide That's really amazing. Like I've taken at least three cores of russian I don't think I'd ever be at the level you're at right now It's hard to you know, attain a level such as mine. It's cute that you think you can obtain it But I mean, it's it's good that kids are still dreaming. No, of course You are my inspiration. Honestly, like after seeing this show like I just want to be you Like can I just be you please I'd like to say I'm surprised but You know, it's it's something I hear every day. I'm I'm just trying to live a normal life You know, I'm just like you and everyone else in this room Okay, well, thank you aerial for that amazing interview and thank you all for listening to our radio shows That was sonic ramen first and lady. Oh second. We're going back to the radio station for some awesome music Thank you. Have a great day. Hello listeners You are listening to techno cult radio 95.7 k d r t today we have in store for you a little radio theater And our first guest is hot ice tea The year was 1849 The west was in the peak of the historic old rush and the small town known as davis california Became swarmed by hopeful miners and their wives. They brought love passion faith future Well, the truth is that they brought nothing but drama to this once peaceful village This is actually the dramatic story of the most dramatic drama to ever occur in northern california It all started on a saturday early in the afternoon at the memorial union salute I tell you tons and tons of gold there Waiting for me. I couldn't believe it Come on, bryaner. That just can't be true. You're just drunk. I tell you I found it this morning I'm drunk because I'm paying for alcohol with gold And you get drunk as too Come on. I'll invite you cliff another one here for my friend I was about a toast for the richest man in davis me Hello What is this? Tell me bryaner. What does this mean, huh? Francis What are you doing here? What are you yelling so loud for? I knew you were cheating on me. I knew it But with morse your horse Hey, what are you talking about? Look at this That's morse the horses horseshoe. I found it underneath your pillow But this don't you dare lie to me. I want the divorce and I want it now You're kind We'll see bryaner. We'll see We are having a trial Did somebody say trial? By chance Fertz the judge was at the saloon when it happened So that afternoon 30 minutes later the trial begun Order in the court The trial is beginning now Mrs glances come here and tell us under oath what happened. All right I realized it this morning. My husband bryaner went to work on the mine just like every day I was making the bed when suddenly I noticed something cold and tough under his pillow Took it out and it was a horseshoe Order in the court Go on miss glances I just realized that my husband this miserable drunk man You see at the back was having an affair with morse his horse Order order in the court Why do you think so miss glances? Well, I have a lot of arguments He just spends the whole day out when he is done at the mines He comes home has lunch and goes out to ride morse the horse Even comes late in the night has dinner and goes out again and it's every day like this He never kissed me. He never does any gesture of affection to me But he's still happy at the beginning I thought he was lying to me when he told me how to refresh his mind riding I thought he might have had an adventure, but then I found the horseshoe and it makes sense He has a romance with morse his horse She's wrong She's insane. That's not true Order in the court Can you prove it? I know somebody who can could you call henrich the priest to the court? I know my husband confessed to him every sunday. He'll know Oh my god, please stop this. This woman is completely crazy Order order in the court. You are not the judge briner the minor I call henrich the priest of the court Henrich had a pained look on his face Like that of a man who really really didn't want to be there Henrich the priest come here and tell us under oath briner the minors confessions For the judge, I cannot do what you're asking me to Of course you can the law is what makes this country and this town a peaceful place If the law asks you to do it henrich the priest I fear that you then must do it If you say so judge foot, I will tell everything I know What? Forgive me briner the minor Are you afraid of anything that henrich the priest can tell us today? Of course he is I am not It's just that this is this is shameful You may be ashamed briner the minor if what mrs glances said is true Now go on henrich the priest Okay, it's it's true that briner the minor comes every sunday to the church to confess and It's true. He has a romance with morse his horse There we go. I knew it you miserable He's lying Order order in the court So is it true then henrich the priest? Oh, yes, it is He came one sunday some three months ago and told me that the smell of morse the horse Was the most appealing smell and that had he had to start it having feelings for her He described it it as a sniffing the peanut butter and jelly sandwich his favorite You betrayer henrich the priest I trusted you forgive me briner the minor Order in the court Before finishing this trial. We must confirm this story. I call morse the horse to the court Fortunately or unfortunately morse the horse was waiting for his hounder or lover outside So he came in Please sit down morse the horse. It's gonna be fast. I promise Can you confirm here and now in front of the davis citizens that the romance between you and briner the minor actually exists Yes, it is true Oh Thank you morse the horse. Well at this point. I think everything is clear Well Not everything What what what do you mean henrich the priest? What do you mean not everything? I have to be fair foods the judge Marriage is a sacred affair. Therefore. I have to be fair as well Briner the minor is not the only one of this couple that is cheat in the order Excuse me. Can you be more specific? Please let let's not waste more time. The truth has been uncovered. My husband is a crummy person Let henrich the priest talk mrs glances What I mean is that mrs glances is also cat in a romance. She's having an affair. We we're with jake Jake the snake Wait, what what did you just say a romance with a snake? Please henrich the priest don't make jokes now I'm totally depressed because my husband is unfaithful to me. I'm sorry mrs glances But but you also come to confess to me and he must be acquitted of in the trial now For to do it if you don't mind I'm feeling uncomfortable here if you want to know more about this statement Ask jake the snake you can find him and mrs glances handbag. She told me She always brings him in whenever she goes even to church What are you serious? My wife has a romance out of our marriage with a snake Francis glances how dare you Order in the court mrs glances is that true? Are you serious fudge the judge? Don't speak to me like that mrs glances If it's not true, then you don't mind to open your bag here in front of us, right? Excuse me. I have to go to the bathroom to dry my painful tears Stay just there where you are mrs glances Please proceed to open your handbag mrs glances, but Now Oh my god I can't believe it. I'm ashamed You promise to be faithful to me. Shut up briner than minor. You better not judge your wife Now we need evidence. Please jake the snake. Could you come up to the court? What are you doing jake? I cannot go with this hiding her love for more time Jake the snake. Can you confirm the romance between you and mrs glances? Yes Liar, he's lying. What? I'm not lying. We have the beautiful skelly love story, of course Liar, you just got inside my handbag in order to eat me while sleeping. What honey? What are you talking about? She doesn't even recognize it jake the snake That's pathetic. You set up stupid human. You'll pay for what you say You bit me jake the snake You'll see what happens when you hurt briner the minor These he has a shotgun Die you bastard snake. Oh jake the snake. No, you killed him. You killed him. You killed my real love He deserved it Order in the court order in the what? I will cook your ugly horse for dinner tonight. Come here monster horse. Come here and be part of my casserole. You bastard You all crazy Come back here you coward Let it go. Let it go. You're crazy. Not as much as you are briner the minor I hate you by the way jake's fangs are poisonous. Now go to hell and burn there forever Good save us This trial is over. This trial is over. Everybody go home and stay there until new order Love passion faith future drama Words that all david citizens remember the trial by briner the minor passes away 10 minutes after being bitten by jake the snake who died before the trial got to an end Nobody saw more the horse anymore They say that christ a horse could be heard every saturday evening in davis Henry's a priest continued working in the town's church But nobody got ever went to confession from that day on As for missus glances and for judge the judge They say they left the town, but nobody knew where they went It's unbelievable, honey Just amazing. How can you be so smart? How can you plan everything and be so successful? It wasn't that difficult honey. I just had a way until briner found the gold I knew he was gonna do it a lot of people had said that it was likely that there was gold in the minds of davis The gold that I wanted to share with you I knew that the first thing he would do after finding it was celebrate and where else better than in the saloon Close to his horse. He didn't love me not at all Well, I made him not to love me, but instead love more the horse If a man spends not much time riding a horse on his way to the minds It's easy to take advantage of it. I think that diamond morsel horse peanut butter and jelly every morning was my most genius idea That way he would finally fall in love with her and that's what I needed as an excuse to have the trial Yes, it was so funny when you got in and started shouting at him as if you were really annoyed, but What about the snake? That was risky Well, I was not going to get that divorce. It's still 1849, you know So I needed somebody to kill brine of the miner But couldn't be you of course then I thought what else better than poison this snake I just had to seduce one and make brina provoke his anger. So that's what I did with jake the snake I knew that when henrich the priest told the love story between brine of the miner and morsel horse His sense of justice would encourage him to also reveal the one between me and jake the snake And I knew that sooner than later brine of the miner would say something stupid and make jake get out of rage The rest of the plan was just sit down let them kill each other And of course take all the gold and start our one-way trip all around the united states We can buy a house or two We can dress up properly as a new rich couple in new york and try one of those crazy parties We can eat as much me as we want does have to be horse me The end Dear listeners is a very special day Unlike any other you can feel it in the rustle of the wind In the moaning of our ever-present trees and most importantly in the chatter the horrifying scathing roars Of the squirrels But worry not dear listeners Today is special for another reason Today is the day that davis's first worst and only superhero group is formed the super queros Who does this guy think he is bashing us like that the worst heroes? I'll show him what the worst heroes can do Ah, that's better Uh, thanks for that drowsy. Um, I guess since our announcer is out of commission. I should take over I mean, I do have the most experience. I'm the only one who's worked with a legitimate superhero For the last time bernie sanders isn't a real superhero He's just a cute old man trying to get elected and also supports israel. Yeah and save america On that note, let's get started. I'm the one and only super original magical boy of amaziness and sparkles Or rather magical food boy My gender pronouns are fighting chemistry Anything cutesy like that, but my real power is cooking I can make all sorts of delicious things and my kings are only blown up two buildings so far I'll call that a win And I'm caffeine boy the speediest pansexual under the sun My powers allow me to run faster than a falcon Swifter than a cheetah and quicker than donald donald trump's big mouth And my pgps are he him his and bernie sanders is to a superhero Well, he is more a hero than you caffeine boy. At least he lasts longer than a caffeine high Anyways, I'm drowsy and my pgps prefer gender pronouns are he him and his and I could put people to sleep Much like our fearless leader Whenever he tries to talk the only drawback is I fall asleep too Luckily, I'm still tough enough to kick anyone's butt in my sleep and we are the super queeros Yeah, wait, what? When did we agree on that? I thought you were gonna vote on the two names I put out later unlimited justice force and freedom equal strike Super queeros it is But fine it is catchy Yeah, and it's like totally so cute I bought a cake to commemorate all of us coming together And after our first mission I even got some cookies. I can tell you're gonna be the best friends already Best friends who fight all the dangerous crimes davis has to offer like Wait, what type of crime does davis have? Um bike theft. Yeah bike theft And don't forget all the hate crimes theft sexual assaults on campus and even the recent stabbing murder in downtown Y'all davis isn't safe or as cute as it could be Wow, you're totally right davis is pretty messed up sweet Well, I've always wanted to have lots of bad guys to beat up. You just brighten my day magical lad Hey, does anyone hear that ticking noise? Oh, yeah, that's my cake what run Hello, it's jerry from the announcers guild. I heard y'all were having some trouble with the announcer They sent over so they sent me to replace him. Oh, oh, they're all just cowering and fear on the floor My new heroes are so adorable Anyways, a better skedaddle and over to this here table. It looks like there's a script waiting for me The show must go on and all that jazz Meanwhile across campus the true danger lurk for our fated heroes bobby sorris the legendary giant squirrel that have been reportedly terrorizing the school for several months with cries of not all men and All lives matter with his new found ultimate power to control all of the squirrels and davis He began his full assault on campus by our lovely super zeros. Um, super queeros are here to save the day I thought your cakes explode. Well, they're supposed to And it didn't so how about you figure out what's wrong because otherwise you're basically useless and who's this old guy? I'm jerry your new announcer and with introductions out of the way the super queeros were suddenly across campus ready to fight bobby sorris What the How do we end up on the quad? Haven't either of you read the handbook the announcer gets to break the fourth wall and do other space time You want me stuff to fix plotholes in the story? Oh, yeah, it makes sense True, I accept it Plotholes, plotholes, plotholes, plotholes, yeah So anyone have a plan to defeat this like entire army of like rabbit squirrels as you're like He's gonna run about approach us You can't defeat me squirrels Attack Wait, isn't he supposed to ask us who we are first? Yeah, where's the witty banter the least cute villain ever Unfortunately dear listeners our heroes were soon surrounded and looked like they had no way out But they had a plan and it was too shut up jerry everyone can hear you stop giving away our plan Oh, but it's so much fun. Let me have some fun. Yeah drowsy. Just be cool Unbelievable these modern heroes are so lame. What did you say your name was again? We are the super queeros Hey Gay Uh, what do you just say to us does the The target or a language and it's totally not cute and neither is controlling these poor squirrels against the will How can you be such a bully? That's totally not cool, bro. You're like, totally a meanie and you totes don't deserve my amazing cookies Yeah, mr. Big old mean bobby source. You'll never have the best cookies in the universe Ha as if you can deprive me of anything Unlike you all I earned my stuff unlike students who only get in through affirmative action You squirrel snatch those cookies. Oh, no Swiper no swiping. Oh my gosh the humanity the loss Oh my god, and the cookies are ticking now They're mine Once again the day was saved by the super queeros davis is best and only up and coming queer superhero team Good thing you knew that your cookies would explode, right? Um, yeah, I I sure knew how I'm like the awesomeest Hey drowsy Yeah, we didn't even get to use our superpowers Uh-huh. Do we even do anything? I beat up an announcer cool In the middle of america four young adults head to the wilderness to have a coming-of-age camping trip Little do they know things are about to get strange as they enter the midnight sector Hey bros we're finally here at camp red rum Right, yes Like I can't wait to like go swimming and just like tan like all day. Hey brad. Maybe we can go like skinny-dipping like tonight Oh, yeah, buffy Now we don't get stabbed the gluteus maximus in our sleep Dude simon don't harsh my vibe man. You're killing my buds. Oh my bro. Buffy behind you Like omg a bug ew ew ew like ew get it like away from me. Buffy bro. I'll save you wwe smackdown Like my savior a figure suddenly pops out from behind a tree You shouldn't have done that that was its baby What the like who are you like omg? He's like what are you talking about? Let's get out of here Don't worry, buffy. I'll protect you from anything Like do you think I could smoke that baby roach? Billy hill disappeared back into the woods as a young adult unpacked the car and set up a camp Simon could tell something was amiss My fellow companions my senses are telling me that something is amiss I do not feel safe at this location after that confrontation with that gentleman. I am not satisfactory The others shrugged off simon's comments and they continued setting up camp Once the camp was set up they sat around their pathetic little fire and began telling stories Dude we should like totally tell scary stories like yeah Yeah Totally I have a super scary story So this one time I was totally Doned out of my gourd With some friends when this deal hole in the group was being a total lame-o He was annoying the f out of everyone bro. Those are like the worst like totally I know man, right? Whatever dude, so we tried making the best of it So we just smoked that dank real fast eventually I got up to pack another bowl, but then there was no more weed Literally thought the world was going to end. We all started freaking out. I looked inside everything and I mean Everything man our bags our hoods our socks coffee cans my afro. You name it. We looked everywhere Anxiety and paranoia started kicking in at like for 20% that was the scariest moment of my life man When suddenly that deal hole pulled out a bag from his jacket and said I got some weed We all looked over at him and in a matter of seconds he became the most righteous dude of the night Bro was totally rad after all bro those bros are the best Yeah, man, but like I said scariest moment ever Oh gee kyle like when you said scary stories. I thought you like meant something like actually scary, you know like like monsters Buffy that was terrifying Similar to what buffy said. I also thought it was going to be a story that would stimulate my amicula Uh like you're like what my amicula is where our fear center is located Bro simon leaves school behind where it has some fun. Whoo Come on. Let's go for a dip like totally babe. Like let's go As buffy and bro brad left to go swimming Simon and kyle are the only ones left to turn the fire as the fire burnt kyle seemed to just stare off into the night Whereas simon looked like he was brainstorming the next scientific discovery Dude simon aren't you hungry man? I'm getting major munchies bro Not really, but I do possess some potato crisps in my bag if you desire some Yeah, man Kyle goes to give simon a high five, but it's left hanging as simon reaches for the bag of chips Billy hill suddenly appears from the shadows Hey Yes, louise I'm almost defecated in my breeze You have really got to stop doing that Who are you anyway? Billy hill opens his mouth and says Billy hill's my name. Mm-hmm Billy hill asks what their names are. What are y'all names? Simon says his name is Simon Kyle says his name is kyle says his name is Huh? Never mind Nice to meet you. Mm-hmm Whereabouts is that pretty girl and the guy who killed the baby? Well, they went down to the lake for a swim for a bit Also, who's baby are you talking about? Huh? They went swimming in the lake. Yes They shouldn't have done that. Mm-hmm. Well, why not because that's when it comes out It comes out at night who This is bad. This is real bad who comes out at night Who are you talking about? Suddenly buffy disappears from bro brad's site. Buffy. Where are you? Bro stop messing around Seriously, buffy stop messing around. Where are you suddenly bro brad comes running from the campsite naked? Have you seen buffy? She just suddenly disappeared and won't answer to my voice Dude brad, where are your pants? I have to find buffy bro. I'm gonna go back and take another look bros No Bradley bro brad doesn't care and keeps running to find buffy Kyho your pan. Hey Simon. Did you notice bro brad wasn't wearing any pants? Were you shut up about the pants? The lack of pants is not a concern of mine Run towards the noise But we're cut off by a half shark and half Kanye West creature with a tail like a scorpion. It was totally gnarly bros Roar by mimic snakes. Roar. And that's how everyone died the end Just kidding. No one actually died It turns out that this creature was actually misunderstood and it had only wanted to invite the teenagers to dinner You see with the tap shark half Kanye and half scorpion body No one wanted to be its friend So the creature took Simon and Kyle to his home where buffy and bro brad were chilling in netflixin They all had dinner and became great friends and they lived happily ever after