 Crime and Punishment Part 1, Chapter 1 This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. On an exceptionally hot evening, early in July, a young man came out of the garage in which he lodged in S Place and worked slowly as though in hesitation to board Ski Bridge. He had successfully avoided meeting his landlady on the staircase. His garage was under the roof of a high five-storey house and was more like a cupboard than a room. The landlady who provided him with garret, dinners and attendants lived on the floor below and every time he went out, he was obliged to pass her kitchen. The door switch invariably stood open and each time he passed, the young man had a sick, frightened feeling which made him scowl and feel ashamed. He was hopelessly in debt to his landlady and was afraid of meeting her. This was not because he was cowardly and abject, quite the contrary, but for some time past he had been in over-strain, irritable condition, purging on a hypochondria, he had become so completely absorbed in himself and isolated from his fellows that he dreaded meeting not only his landlady but anyone at all. He was crushed by poverty, but the anxieties of his position had of late ceased to wait upon him. He had given up attending to matters of practical importance, he had lost all desire to do so, nothing that any landlady could do had a real tariff for him. But to be stopped on the stairs, to be forced to listen to her trivial, irrelevant gossip, to pestering demands for payment, threats and complaints, and to rack his brains for excuses, to pre-viricate, to lie in no rather than that, he would creep down the stairs like a cat and slip out and seen. This evening, however, on coming out into the street, he became acutely aware of his fears. I want to attempt to think like that, and I'm frightened by these trifles, he thought, with an old smile. Yes, all is in a man's hands and he lets it all slip from a cowardice, that's an axiom. It would be interesting to know what it is men are most afraid of, taking a new step, uttering a new word is what they fear most, but I'm talking too much, it's because I'm chatter that I do nothing. Or perhaps it is that, that I chatter because I do nothing, I've learned to chatter this last month, lying four days together in my damned thinking of the jack-the-dined killer. Why am I going there now? Am I capable of that? Is that serious? It is not serious at all, it's simply a fantasy to amuse myself, a plaything. Yes, maybe it is a plaything. The heat in the street was terrible, and the airlessness, the bustle and the plaster, scaffolding bricks and dust all about him, and that special Peter's book stange, so familiar to all who are unable to get out of town in summer, all walked painfully upon the young man's already overwrought nerves. The insufferable stange from the pot houses, which are particularly numerous in that part of the town, and the drunken man who he met continually, although it was a working day, completely ver vaulting misery of the misery of the picture. An expression of the profoundest disgust gleaned through a moment in a young man's refined face. He was, by the way, exceptionally handsome, above the average in height, slim, well-built, with beautiful dark eyes and dark brown hair. Soon he sank into the deep thought, or more accurately speaking, into complete blackness of mind. He walked along not observing, what was about him, and not carrying to observe it. From time to time he would mutter something from the habit of talking to himself, to which he had just confessed. At these moments he would become conscious that his ideas were sometimes in a tangle, that he was very weak, for two days he had scarcely tasted food. He was so badly dressed that even a man accustomed to the tabernas would have been ashamed to be seen in the street in such rags. In that quarter of the town, however, scarcely and shortcoming can dress would have created surprise. Owing to the proximity of the hay market, the number of establishments of bad character, the preponderers of the trading and working class population crowded in these streets and alleys in the heart of Petersburg, types of various where to be seen in the streets that no figure how ever queer would have caused surprise. But there was such a accumulate bitterness and contempt in the young man's heart that in spite of all facetiousness of youth, he minded his rags least of all in the street. It was a different matter when he met the acquaintances or with the former fellow students whom indeed he disliked meeting at any time. And yet, when a drunken man who for some unknown reason was being taken somewhere in a huge wagon dragged by a heavy dry horse, suddenly shouted at him as he drove past. Aware, German Hatter, bawling at the top of his voice and pointing at him, the young man stopped suddenly and clashed tremulously at his head. It was a tall, round head from the Zimmerman's but completely worn out, rusty with age, war-torn and bespattery primeless and bent on one side in the most unseemly fashion. Not shame, however, but quite another feeling akin to terror had overtaken him. I knew it, he mirrored in confusion. I thought so. That's the worst of all. Why a stupid thing like this? The most trivial detail miles past the whole plan. Yes, my head is too noticeable. It looks absurd. That makes it noticeable. With my rags I ought to wear a cap and a sort of old pancake. But not this grotesque thing. Nobody wears such a hat. It would be noticed a mile off, it would be remembered. What matters is that people would remember it, and that would give them a clear. For this business one should be as little conspicuous as possible. Trifles. Trifles are what matter. Why it's just such trifles but always ruin everything. He had not far to go. He knew indeed how many steps it was from the gate of his lodging house. Exactly 730. He had counted them once, when he had been lost in dreams. At the time he had put no faith. And those dreams and was only tantalizing himself by their hideous but daring recklessness. Now a month later he had begun to look upon them differently and in spite of monologues in which he did as his own impotence and indecision he had involuntarily come to regard his hideous dream as an exploit to be attempted, although he still did not realize this himself. He was positively going now for a rehearsal of his project. And at every step his excitement grew more and more violent. With the sinking heart and a nervous tremor he went up to a huge house which on one side looked onto the canal and on the other into the street. This house was led out into tiny tenements and was inhabited by working people of all kinds. Tailors, locksmiths, cooks, Germans of sorts, girls picking up the living as best they could, petty clerks, etc. There was a continual coming and going to the two gates and in the two courtyards of the house three or four doorkeepers were employed on the building. The young man was very glad to meet none of them and at once slipped into notice to the door on the right and up the staircase. It was a back staircase, dark and dark and narrow, but he was familiar with it already and knew of his way and he liked all the surroundings in such darkness even the most inquisitive eyes were not bedreaded. If I am so scared now what would it be if it somehow came to pass but I were really going to do. I could not help asking himself as he reached to the thought story. There this progress was bared by some porters who were engaged in moving furniture out of the plaid. He knew that the plaid had been occupied by a German clerk in the civil service and his family. This German was moving out then until the fourth floor on the staircase would be alternated except by the old woman. That's a good thing anyway. He thought to himself as he ranked the bell of the old woman's plaid. The bell gave a faint tinkle as though it were made of tin and other copper. The little flasks in such houses always have bells that ring like that. He had forgotten the note of that bell and now it's peculiar tinkle seemed to remind him of something and to bring it clearly before him. He started his nutwork terribly overstrained by now. In a little while the door was opened a tiny crack. The old woman eyed her visitor of evident distress to the crack and nothing could be seen but her little eyes glittering in the darkness. But seeing a number of people on the landing she grew bolder and opened the door wide. The young man stepped into the dark entry which was partitioned up from the tiny kitchen. The old woman stood facing him in silence and looking inquiringly at him. She was a diminutive, weathered-up old woman of sixty with sharp malignant eyes and a sharp little nose. Her colorless, somewhat grizzled hair was thickly smeared with oil and she wore no cashier over it. Round her thin long neck which looked like the hands leg was not at some sort of the flannel rag and in spite of the heat there hung flapping on her shoulders and mangy fur cape yellow with aid. The old woman coughed and groaned at every instant. The young man must have looked at her with the rather peculiar expression for the gleam of distress came into her eyes again. As garlic of the student I came here a month ago the young man made haste to murder. The old woman coughed and groaned at every instant. The young man must have looked at her with the rather peculiar expression for a gleam of distress came into her eyes again. As garlic of the student I came here a month ago the young man made haste to murder. The half-bowl remembering that he ought to be more polite. I remember my good sir, I remember quite well you're coming here. The old woman said distinctly still keeping her inquiring eyes on his face. And here I'm again on the same errand for garlic of continued, a little disconcerned and surprised at the old woman's mistrust. Perhaps she is always like that though. Only I did not notice it the other time. He thought of an easy feeling. The old woman paused as though hesitating then stepped on one side and pointing to the door of the room she sat letting her visit a pass in front of her. Step in my good sir. The little room into which the young man worked. The yellow paper on the walls, geraniums and muslin curtains on the windows was brightly lighted up at the moment by the setting sun. So the sun will shine like this too flashed as it were chance flashed as it were by chance to Laskolnikov's mind and with the rapid glance he scanned everything in the room trying as far as possible to notice and remember its arrangement but there was nothing special in the room. The furniture all the old and of yellow wood consisted in sofa with a huge bent wooden back and an oval table and in front the sofa a dressing table with the lurking glass fixed on it between the windows chairs along the walls and two or three half penny prints in yellow frames representing German damsels the birds in their hands that was all. In the corner a light was brimming before a small icon everything was very clean with floor and the furniture were brightly polished everything shown. Lizaveta's work for the young man there was not a speck of dust to be seen in the whole flat. It's in the house as spiteful all windows that want to find such a cleanliness Laskolnikov thought again and he still a curious glance at the curtain curtain over the door leading into the another time room in which stood the old woman's bed and test of drawers and into which he never looked before. These two rooms made up the whole flat What do you want the old woman said severely coming into the room and as before standing in front of him so as to look him straight in the face. I brought something to pawn here and he drew out of his pocket an old-fashioned flat silver watch on the back of which was engraved a globe the chain was of steel but the time is up for your last pledge the month was up the day before yesterday. I bring you the interest for another month wait a little but that's for me to do as I please my good sir to wait or to sell your pledge at once How much will you give me for the watch I learned at Varnoona you come with such trifles my good sir it's scarcely worth anything I gave you two robles last time for your ring and one could buy it quite a new it's dewellers for a rubble and a half give me four rubles for it I shall redeem it it was my father's I shall be getting some money soon a rubble and a half an interest in advance if you like rubble and a half cried the young man please yourself and the old woman handed him back the watch the young man took it and was so angry that he was on the point of going away but checked himself at once remembering that there was nowhere else he could go and that he had another object also in calming hand it over he said roughly the old woman fumbled in her pocket for her keys and disappeared behind the curtain into the other room the young man left standing alone in the middle of the room listened inquisitively thinking he could hear how locking the chest of drawers it must be the tub drawer here reflected so he carries the keys in a pocket on the right all one bunch on a steel ring and there is no key there three times as big as all the others with deep notches that can't be the key of the chest of drawers then there must be some other chest or strong box that's worth knowing strong boxes always have keys like that but how degrading it all is the old woman came back he said as we say 10 carpets the ruble a month so i must take 15 carpets from the ruble and a half for the month in advance but for the two rubles i lent you before you own me now 20 carpets on the same reckoning in advance that makes 35 carpets altogether so i must give you a ruble and 15 carpets for the watch he says what only a ruble and 15 carpets now just so the young man did not dispute it and took the money he looked at the old woman and was in no hurry to get away as though there was still something he wanted to say or to do but he did not himself quite know what i may bring you something else in a day or two aliyana i've had an valuable thing silver a cigarette box as soon as i get it back from a friend he broke up in confusion well we will talk about it then sir goodbye are you always at home alone your sister is not here with you he asked her as casually as possible as he went out on the passage what business is she of yours good sir or no particular i simply ask you are too quick good day aliyana i've heard as karnika went out in the complete confusion this confusion became more and more intense as he went down the stairs he went stopped short two or three times as though suddenly struck by some fault when he was in the street he cried out oh god how loathsome it all is and can i can i possibly now it's nonsense it's rubbish he ordered resolutely and how could such an atrocious thing came into my head what filthy thinks my heart is capable of yes filthy above all disgusting loathsome loathsome and for all the whole month i've been but no words no exclamations could express his agitation the feeling of intense repulsion which had begun to appraise him and torture his heart while he was on his way to the old woman had by now reached such a page and had taken such a definite form that he did not know what to do with himself to escape from his wretchedness he walked along the pavement like a drunken man regardless of the passes by and toastling against them and only came to his senses when he was in the next street looking around he noticed that he was standing close to a tavern which was entered by steps leading from the pavement to the basement at that instant two drunken men came out the door and abusing and supporting one another they mounted the steps where without stopping to think raskarnikov went down the steps at once till that moment he had never been into the tavern but now he felt giddy and was tormented by a burning thirst he longed for a drink of cold beer and attributed his sudden weakness to the want of food he sat down at a sticky little table in a dark and dirty corner ordered some beer and eagerly drunk off the first glass full at once he felt easier and his thoughts became clear all words nonsense he said hopefully and there is nothing in it all to worry about it's simply physical derangement just a glass of beer a piece of dry bread and in one moment the brains is stronger the mind is clearer and the will is firm fear how utterly it all is but in spite of this painful reflection he was by now looking cheerful as though he was suddenly set free from a terrible burden and he gazed around in a friendly way at the people in the room but even at that moment he had a dim foreboding that his happier frame of mind was also not normal there were people at the time in the tavern besides the two drunken men he had met under the steps a group consisting of about five men and a girl the third concertina had gone out at the same time their departure left the room quiet and rather empty the person still in the tavern where a man who appeared to be an artisan drunk but not extremely so sitting before a pot of beer and his companion a huge stout man with a great bird and a short full skirted coat he was very drunk and had wrapped his sleep under the bench every now and then he began as though in his sleep cracking his fingers that his arms wide apart and with the upper part of his body barting above on the bench while he hummed some meaningless refrain trying to recall some such lines as these his wife a year he fondly loved his wife a year he fondly loved and suddenly waking up again working alone with crowded room he met the one he used to know but no one shared his enjoyment his silent companion looked with his positive hostility and mistrust are all these manifestations there was another man in the room who looked somewhat like a retired government clerk he was sitting apart now and then sipping from his pot and looking around at the company he too appeared to be in some agitation then of part one chapter one this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org crime and punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky chapter two part one Raskolnikov was not used to crowds and as she said before he avoided society of every sort more especially of light but now all at once he felt a desire to be with other people something new seemed to be taking place within him and with it he felt a sort of thirst for company he was so wary after a whole month of concentrated wretchedness and gloomy excitement that he longed to rest if only for a moment in some other world whatever it might be and in spite of the filthfulness of the surroundings he was glad now to stay in the tavern the most of the establishment was in another room but he frequently came down some steps into the main room his zoom tea tired boots with red turn over tops coming into the view each time before the rest of his person he wore a full coat and a horribly greasy black satin waistcoat with no crowded and his whole face seemed smeared with eye like an iron lock at the countess stood a boy of about 14 and there was another boy somewhat younger who handed whatever was wanted on the counter lay some sliced cucumber some pieces of dried black bread and some fish chopped up small all smelling very bad it was insufferably close and so had either the fumes of spirits that five minutes in such an atmosphere might well make a man drunk there are chance meetings with strangers that interest us from the first moment before a word is spoken such was the impression made unrest carnival by the person sitting a little distance from him who looked like a retired clock the young man often recalled this impression afterwards and even ascribe it to the presentament he looked repeatedly at the clock partly no doubt because the letter was staring persistently at him obviously anxious to enter into the conversation as the other persons in the room including the town keeper the clock looked as though he were used to their company and wary of it showing a shame of condescending contempt for the most persons of station and culture inferior to his own the whom it would be useless to him to converse he was a man over 50 bald and grizzled of medium height and stoutly bald his face bloated from continual drinking was of the yellow even greenish tinge with swollen eyelids out of which keen reddish eyes gleamed like a little chains but there was something very strange in him there was a light in his eyes as though of intense feeling perhaps there were even though an intelligence but at the same time there was a gleam of something like madness he was wearing an old and hopelessly ragged black dress coat with all its buttons missed except one and that one he had buttoned evidently clinging to his last rays of respectability a crumple shirt front covered with spots and stains protruded from his countless white coat like a clock he wore no bird no moustache but had been so longed a shaven that his chin looked like a stiff crease brush and there was something respectable and like an official about his manner too but he was restless he ruffled up his hair and from time to time let his had dropped into his hands dejectedly resting his ragged elbows on the stained and sticky table at last he looked straight at Raskolnikov and said loudly and resolutely may I venture on its to engage you in polite conversation for as much as though your exterior would not command respect my experience admonishes me that you are a man of education and not accustomed to drinking I have always respected education when in conjunction with the genuine sentiment and I am besides a titular counselor on rank Marmaladev such as my name titular counselor I'm able to inquire have you been in the service now I'm studying and that's the young man someone surprised at the grandiloquin style of the speaker and also at being so directly addressed in spite of the momentary desire he had just been feeling for company of an assault on being actually spoken to he felt immediately his habitual irritable and an easy aversion for any stranger who approached or attempted to approach him a student then a formerly student cried the clock just what I thought I'm a man of experience immense experience sir and he tapped his forehead with his fingers and self approval you've been a student or have attended some learned institution but along me he got up staggered looked up his jacket and glass and sat down beside the young man facing him a little sideways he was drunk but spoke fluently and wildly only occasionally losing the thread of his sentences and drawing his words he pounced upon Raskolnikov as greedily as though he too he not spoken to solve through a month on a tour he began almost the solemnity poverty is not a voice that's a true saying yet I know too the drunkenness is not a virtue and without this even true but the baggery on it sir baggery is a voice in poverty you may still retain your innate nobility of soul but in baggery never no one for baggery a man is not chased out of human society with a stick he's swept off with a broom so it's to make it as humiliating as possible and quite right too for as much as in baggery I'm ready to be thirst to humiliate myself hence the part of house on it sir a month ago Mr. Libyzadnikov gave my wife a beating and my wife is a very different matter from me do you understand allow me to ask you another question out of the simple curiosity have you ever spent a night on a hay barge on the Neva no I have not happened to answer Traskolnikov what do you mean well I've just come from one of it's the fifth night I've slept so I've felt his glass emptied and paused bits of hay were in fact clinging to his clothes and sticking to his hair it seemed quite probable that he had not undressed or washed for the last five days his hands particularly were filthy they were fat and red and black nails his conversation seemed to excite a general thought languid interest the boys at the counter felt to sniggering the innkeeper came down from upper room apparently on purpose to listen to the funny fella and sat down at the little distance uningly lazily but with dignity evidently Marmaladev was a familiar figure here and he had most likely acquired his weakness for the high flown species from the habit of frequently entering into conversation with strangers of all sorts in the tavern this habit develops into a necessity in some drunkards and especially in those who are looked after sharply and kept in order at the home hence in the company of other drinkers they try to justify themselves and even if possible obtain consideration funny fella pronounced the innkeeper and why don't you work why aren't you at your duty and you are in the service why am I not at my duty on it sir Marmaladev went on dressing himself exclusively tourist Kalnikov as though it had been he who put that question to him why am I not at my duty does not my heart ache to think where the useless warm I am a month ago when Mr. Libyzadnikov beat my wife with his own hands I lay drunk didn't I suffer excuse me young man has it ever happened to you well to petition hopelessly for a loan yes it has but what do you mean by hopelessly hopelessly in the fullest sense when you know beforehand what you will get nothing by it in all for instance beforehand the positive certainty that this man this most reputable an exemplary citizen will on no consideration give you money and indeed I ask you why should be for he knows of course that I shan't paid back from compassion but Mr. Libyzadnikov who keeps up with modern ideas explained the other day that compassion is forbidden nowadays by science itself and that what's what is done now in England where there is a political economy why I ask you should he give it to me and yet though I know beforehand that he want I set off to him and why do you go put in Raskolnikov well when one has no one nowhere else one can go for every man must have somewhere to go since there are times when one absolutely must go somewhere and my own daughter first went out with a yellow ticket and I had to go for my daughter has a yellow passport he added his in parenthesis looking with the certain uneasiness at the young man no matter sir no matter he went on hardly with apparent composure when both the boys at the counter covered and even the innkeeper smiled no matter I am not confounded by the wagging of their head for everyone knows everything about it already and all that is secret is made open and I accept it all not with contempt but with humility so be it so be it behold the man excuse me young man can you now to put it more strongly and more distantly not can you dare you looking upon me I said what I'm not a pig the young man did not answer a word well the writer began against totally and with even increased dignity after waiting for a laughter and the rooms to subside well so bad I'm a pig but she's a lady I have the semblance of the beast but Katerina Ivanovna my spouse is a person of education and an officer's daughter granted granted I'm a scoundrel but she's a woman of the noble heart full of sentiments refined by education and yet or if only she felt for me honor sir honor sir you know every man ought to have at least one place where people feel for him but Katerina Ivanovna though she's a magnanimous she is unjust and yet although I realize when when she pulls my hair she only does it out of pity though I repeat without being ashamed she pulls my hair young man he declared with her double dignity hearing the sniggering again but my god if she would butt once but now now it's all in vain and it's no use talking no use talking for more than once my wish did come true and more than once she has felt for me but such is my fate and I'm obese by nature rather ascended than keeper yawning when Miladov struck his first resolutely under the table such is my fate such is my fate do you know sir do you know I have saw her very stockings for drink not for her shoes that would be more or less in the order things but her stockings her stockings I have sold for drink her my hair shawl I sold for drink a present to her long ago her owned property not mine and we lived in a cold room and she caught cold this winter and has began coughing and spitting blood too we have three little children and Katerina Ivanovna is at work from morning till night she is scrubbing and cleaning and washing the children though she's been used to cleanliness from its heart but her chest is weak and she has a tendency to consumption and I fail it do you suppose I don't fail it and the more I drink the more I fail it that's why I drink too I try to find sympathy and feeling can drink I drink so that I may suffer twice as much and as though and despair he laid his head down on the table young man he went on raising his head again in your face I seem to read some trouble of mind when you came in I read it and that was why I addressed you at once for in unfolding to you the story of my life I do not wish to make myself a laughingstock before these idle listeners who indeed know all about it already but I am looking for a man of feeling and education know that my wife was educated in a high class school for the daughters of noblemen and in leaving she danced the shawl dance before the governor and other personage for which she was presented the the gold medal and a certificate of merit the medal while the medal of course was sold long ago but the certificate of merit is in her trunk still and not long ago she showed it to our landlady and although she is most continually on bad terms with the landlady and she wanted to tell someone or other of her past honors are the happy days that are gone I don't condemn her for it I don't blame her for the one thing left her is recollection of the past and all the rest is dust and ashes yes yes she is a lady of spirit proud and determined she scraps the floors herself and has nothing but black bread to eat but won't allow herself to be treated with disrespect that's why she would not overlook Miss Lucia ethnic of rudeness to her and so when he gave her a baiting for it she took her bed from the herd to her feelings then from the blows she was a widow when I married her the three children one smaller than the other she married her first husband an infantry officer for love and run away with him from her father's house she was exceedingly fond of her husband but he gave way to cause got into trouble and with that he died he used to be her at the end and although she paid him back of which I have authentic documentary evidence to this day she speaks of him with tears and she and she throws him up to me and I'm glad and I'm glad that the only in imagination she should think of herself as having once been happy and she was left at his death with three children in a wild and remote district where I happened to be into the time and she was left in such hopeless poverty that although I have seen many ups and downs of all sort I don't feel equal to describing it even her relations had all thrown her off and she was proud to extensively proud and then honored sir and then I being at the time of widower the third of fourteen left me by my first wife of her my hand for I could not be at the site of such suffering you can judge the extremity of her calamities that she a woman of education and culture and distinguished family should have consented to be my wife but she did weeping and sobbing and wringing her hands she married me for she had nowhere to turn do you understand sir do you understand what it means when you have absolutely nowhere to turn now which you don't understand yet and for a whole year I perform my duties consciously and faithfully and it did not touch this he tapped the duck with his finger for I have feelings but even so I could not please her and then I lost my place to and that through no fault of mine but through changes in the office and then I did touch it it will be a year and a half ago soon since we found ourselves at last after many wanderings and numerous calamities and this magnificent capital adorned with innurable monuments here I obtained a situation I obtained it and I lost it again do you understand this time it was through my own fault I lost it from my weakness had come out we have now a part of the room at the amalia fedrana lepovesials and what we lived upon and what we pay our rent with I could not say there are a lot of people living there besides ourselves dirt and disorder a perfect bad lamb and meanwhile my daughter by my first wife first wife has grown up and what my daughter has had to put up from her stepmother whilst she was growing up I won't speak of for though Katerina Ivanovna is full of generous feelings she's a spirited lady irritable and short-tempered but it's no use going over that sauna as you may well fancy has had no education I did make an effort four years ago to give her a course of geography and in universal history but as I was not very well up in those subjects myself and he had no suitable books and what books we had anyway we have not even those now so all our instruction came to an end we stopped at Cyrus of Persia since she had attained years of maturity she has read other books of romantic tendency and of late she had read with great interest a book she got through mr. Elizabeth nick or the busy ethnic of Lewis psychology do you know it and even recounted is extracts from it to us and that's the whole of her education and now may venture to address you on it sir on my own account with the private question do you suppose that a respectable poor girl can earn much by honest work not 15 farthings a day can she earn if she is respectable and has no special talent and that's the doubt putting her work down for an instant and what's more Ivan Ivanovich club stock the civil counselor have you heard of him has not this day paid her for the half-dozen lineage shirts she made him and drove her roughly away stamping and reviling her on the practice with the shirt colors were not made like the pattern and were put in a ask you and there are the little ones hungry and Katerina Ivanovna walking up and down and wringing her hands her cheeks flushed red as they always are in that disease here you live with us says she you eat and drink and I kept warm and you do nothing to go and much she gets to eat and drink and there is not a crust for her little ones for three days I was lying at the time well what a fit I was lying drunk and I heard my Sonia speaking she's a gentle creature with a soft little voice fair hair and such a pale thin little face she said Katerina Ivanovna am I really to do a thing like that and Daria Frentazovna a woman of ever character and a very well known to the police had two of three times tried to get her through the land lady and why not said Katerina Ivanovna if the cheer you are something mighty precious to be so careful of but don't blame her don't blame her on it's done blame her she was not herself when she spoke we're driven to distraction by her illness and the crying of hungry children and it was said more to wound her than anything else but that's Katerina Ivanovna's character and when children cry even from hunger she falls to beating them at once at six o'clock I saw Sonia get up put on her cashew and her cape and go out of the room and about nine o'clock she came back she worked straight up to Katerina Ivanovna and she laid 30 rules on the table before her in silence she did not utter a word but did not even look at her she simply picked up our big green drop demand shawls we have a shawl made of of put it over her head and face and lay down on the back with her face onto the wall only her little shoulders her hub body kept shattering and I went on lying there just as before and then I saw young man I saw Katerina Ivanovna and the same silence go up to the son's little bed she was her honey's all the evening kissing Sonia's feet and would not get up and then they both fell asleep and each other's arms together yes and I lay drunk more molotov stop shoot as though his voice had failed him then he hardly felt his glass drunk and cleared his throat since then sir he went on after a brief pause since then owing to an unfortunate occurrence and through information given by the evil intentioned persons and all which Daria Frantasovna took a leading part in the practice that she had been treated the one of respect since then my daughter Safia Simanovna has been forced to take a yellow ticket and owning to that she is unable to go on living with us for our landlady Amalia Fadarovna were not here third though she had backed up Daria Frantasovna before and a master of the ethnic of two all the trouble between him and Katerina Ivanovna was on the son's account at first he was from making up to Sonia himself then all of the sudden he stood in his dignity how said he can a highly educated man like me live in the same room to the girl like that and Katerina Ivanovna would not let it pause she stood up her her and so that's how it happened and sonic comes to us now mostly after dark she confuits Katerina Ivanovna and gives her all she can she has a room at the copper Namovs the tailors she lodges with them copper Namov is the lame man with the cleft palate and all of his numerous family have cleft palates too and his wife too has a cleft palate they all live in one room but Sana has her own partition after hmm yes they're poor people and all with cleft palates yes then I got up in the morning and put up on my rags lifted up my hands to heaven and sit up to this excellency Ivan Afanasovic he excelled his his excellency Ivan Afanasovic do you know him no well then it's a man of God you don't know he's a wax wax before the face of the Lord even as wax melteth his eyes were dim when he heard my story Marmaladev once already you have deceived my expectations I'll take you once more on my own responsibility that's what he said remember he said and now you can go I kissed the dust at his feet and fought only for in reality he would not have allowed me to do it being a statesman and I met up modern political and enlightened ideas I returned home when I announced when I'd been taken back into the service I should receive a salary heavens what I did do there was Marmaladev stopped again in a violent excitement at that moment a whole party of revelers already drunk came in front the street and the sounds of a hired concertina and the cracked pigging voice of a child of seven singing the hamlet were heard in the entry the room was felt with noise the tavern keeper and the boys were busy with the newcomers Marmaladev paying no attention to the new arrivals continued his story he appeared by now to be extremely weak but as he became more and more drunk he became more and more talkative the recollection of his recent success in getting the situation seems to revive him and was positively reflected in a sort of radiance on his face Raskolnikov listened attentively that was five years ago sir yes as soon as Katerina Ivanovna and Sana heard of it mercy on us it was as though I stepped into the kingdom of heaven it used to be you can lie like a beast nothing but abuse now they were working on tip-tie hushing the children Simon Zaharovich is tired of his work at the office he is resting they made me coffee before I went to work and boiled cream for me they began to get real cream for me do you hear that and how they managed to get together my money for the decent outfit 11 rubles 50 cupcakes I can't guess but cotton shirt front most magnificent a uniform they got up all in a splendid style for 11 rubles and a half the first morning I came back from the office I found Katerina Ivanovna had cooked two courses for dinner soup and salt meat with horse radish which he had never dreamed of till then she had not any dresses none at all but she had herself as though she were going on a visit and at that she'd anything to do it with she smothered herself off with nothing at all she done her hair nicely put on the clean color of some sort cuffs and there she was quite a different person she was younger and better looking Sana my little darling had only helped with money for the time she said it won't do for me to come and see you too often after dark maybe one no one can see do you hear do you hear I lay down for a nap after dinner and what do you think though Katerina Ivanovna had quarreled to the last degree with our landlady Amalia Verdovna only a week before she could not resist then asking her into coffee for two hours we were sitting whispering together Simone Zaharovich is in the service again now and receiving a salary says she and he won himself to his excellency and his excellency himself came out to him made all the others white and let Simone Zaharovich model hand before everybody into his study do you hear do you hear to be sure says he Simone Zaharovich remembering your past services says he and in spite of your propensity to that foolish weakness since you promise now and since moreover we've gotten badly without you do you hear do you hear me and so says he I rely now on your wood as a gentleman and all that let me tell you she has simply made up for herself not simply out of wantonness for the sake of bragging now she believes it all herself she amuses herself with her own fancies upon my word she does and I don't blame her for it no I don't blame her six days ago when I brought her my first earnings and a full 23 rubles 40 carpets all together she called me her puppet puppet said she my little puppet and when we were by ourselves you understand you would not think me a beauty you would not think much of me as a husband would you well she pinched my cheek my little puppet said she when I'm a lot of broke off tried to smile but suddenly his chin began to twitch he control himself however a tavern a degraded appearance of the man a five nights in the hay barge and the pot of spirits and yet this pognant love for his wife and children bewildered his listener raskarnikov listened intently but the sixth sensation he felt waxed that he had come here honored sir honored sir cried more melodious recovering himself oh sir perhaps all this seems a laughing matter to you as it does to others and perhaps I'm only worrying you the stupidity of all the trivial details of my home life but this is not a laughing matter to me for I can feel it all and the whole of that heavenly day of my life and the whole of that evening I passed in fleeting dreams of how I would arrange it all and how I would dress all the children and how I should get harassed and how I should rescue my own daughter from dishonor and rest so hard to the bottom of her family and a great deal more quite excusable sir well then sir murmur ladder suddenly gave the sword of start raised his head and gazed intently at his listener wow and the very next day after all those dreams that is to say exactly five days ago in the evening by a cunning trick like a thief in the night I stole from Katarina Ivanovna the key to of her box took out what she left of my earnings how much it was I have forgotten and I'll look at me all of you it's the fifth day since I left home and they are looking for me there and it's the end of my employment and my uniform is lying in a tavern on the egyptian bridge I exchange it for their garments I have on and it's the end of everything I'm allowed to strike his forehead with his fist clench his teeth closed his eyes and lean heavily with his elbow on the table but a minute later his face suddenly changed and with a certain assumed slowness and a faction of bravado he glanced at Raskolnikov laughed and said this morning I went to see Sana I went to ask her for a pick me up you don't say she gave it to you cried one of the newcomers he shouted the words and went off in a gaffer this very quote was both of her money normal out of declared addressing himself exclusively to Raskolnikov thirty carpets she gave me her own hands her last all she had as I saw she said nothing she only looked at me without a word not on earth but up yonder the grief of a man they weep but they don't blame them they don't blame them but it hurts more it hurts more when they don't blame thirty carpets yes and maybe she needs them now uh what do you think my dear sir for now she's good to keep up her appearance it costs money that's smartness that's special smartness do you know do you understand and there's an item too you see she must have things petticoats starch wands shoes two real dirty wands to show off her foot when she has to step over a puddle do you understand sir do you understand what all that smartness means and here are her own father here took thirty carpets of that money for a drink and I am drinking it and I have already drank it come who will have pity on a man like me are you sorry for me sir or not tell me sir are you sorry or not he would have filled his glass but there was no drink left the pot was empty where are you to be pitted for shout at the tavern keeper who was again near them shots of laughter and even oaths followed the laughter and the oaths came from those who were listening and also from those who had heard nothing but were simply looking at the figure that it charged government clock to be pitted why am I to be pitted marmalade have suddenly declined standing up with his arm outstretched as though he had been only waiting for that question why am I to be pitted you say yes there is nothing to pity me for I ought to be crucified crucified on a cross not pitted crucify me or judge crucify me but pity me and then I will go on myself to be crucified for it's not the merry making I seek but tears and tribulation do you suppose you that soul that this pint of yours has been sweet to me it was tribulation I sought at the bottom of it tears and tribulation I have found it I have tasted it but he will pity us who was had pity on all men who was understood all men and all things he's the one he too is the judge he will came in that day and he will ask where is the daughter who have herself who gave herself for her cross consumptive stepmother and for the little children of another there is the daughter who had pity upon the filthy drunkard her earthly father and dismayed by his beastliness and he will say come to me I have already forgiven thee once I have forgiven thee once thy sins which are many are forgiven they for though has loved much and he will forgive my son he will forgive I know it I felt it in my heart when I was with her just now and he will die and he will forgive all the good and the evil the wise and the meek and then he has done the all of them then he will summon us you come forth he will say come forth your drunkards come forth your weak ones come forth your children of shame and we shall all come forth without shame and shall stand before him and he will say on tires your swine mained in the image of the beast and with his mark but I come here also and the wise ones and those of understanding will say oh lord why does they'll receive this man and he will say this is why I receive them oh yeah wise this is why I receive them and a year of understanding and none of them believe himself to be worthy of this and he will hold out his hands to us and we shall fall down before him and we shall weep and we shall understand all things when we shall understand all and all will understand Keterina Ivanovna even she will understand lord thy kingdom come and he sank down on the bench is hosted and helpless looking at to no one apparently oblivious to his surroundings and plunged in deep thought his words have created a certain impression there was a moment of silence but soon laughter and oaths were heard again that's his notion told him sam sally a foreign clock he is and so on and so on let us go sir said Momoladov all at once raising his head and addressing Kroskalnikov come along with me cause of his house looking into the yard I'm going to Katerina Ivanovna time I did Kroskalnikov had for some time been wanting to go and he had meant to help him Momoladov was much unsteady on his legs than his speech and lean heavily on the young man they had to 300 paces to go the drunken man was more and more overcome by dismay and confusion as the nearer the holes it's not Katerina Ivanovna I'm afraid of now he murdered in agitation and that she will begin pulling my hair what does my hair matter above my hair that's what I say indeed it will be better if she does begin pulling it that's not what I'm afraid of it's her eyes I'm afraid of yeah her eyes the red on her cheeks too frightens me and how breathing too have you noticed how people in that disease breathe when they are excited and frightened of the children's crying too for if Sonia has not taken them food I don't know what's happened I didn't know but blows I'm not afraid of no sir that such blows are not a pain to me but even an indictment in fact I can't get on without it it's better so her strike me relieves her heart it's better so there is the house the house of Castle the cabinet maker a German well-to-do lead the way they went in front yet and up to the fourth story a staircase got dark and dark as they went up it was nearly 11 o'clock in summer in Petersburg there is no real night it it was quite dark at the top of the stairs a grim little doll at the very top of the stairs stood a jar a very poor looking chrome about 10 paces long was lighted up by candle and the whole of it was visible from the entrance it was all in disorder littered up with rags of all sorts especially children's garments across the father's corner was stretched a ragged sheet behind it probably was the bad there was nothing in the room except two chairs and a sofa covered with American leather full of halt before which stood an all-deal kitchen table and paint and uncover it at the edge of the table stood a small during tallow candle in an iron candlestick it appeared that the family had room to themselves not part of the room but their room was practically a passage the doll leading to the other rooms or rather carboards into which Amalia Leper shadow's flat was divided stood half open and there was shouting uproar and left to the then people seemed to be playing cards and drinking tea there wards of the most unceremonious kind flew out from time to time Raskolnikov recognized Katerina Ivanovna at once she was a rather tall slim and graceful woman terribly emaciated with magnificent dark brown hair and with the hectic flush in her cheeks she was pacing up and down in her little room pressing her hands against her chest her lips were parched and her breathing came in the nervous broken gasps her eyes glittered as in fever and looked about the harsh immovable stare and at the presumptive and excited fate that the last flickering light of the candle and playing upon it made a sickening impression she seemed to Raskolnikov about 30 years old and was certainly a strange wife for Marmaladev she had not heard them and did not notice them coming in she seemed to be lost in thought hearing and seeing nothing the room was closed but she had not opened the window a stench rose from the staircase but the door on the stairs was not closed from the inner rooms clouds of tobacco smoke floated in she kept coughing but did not close the door the youngest child a girl of six was asleep sitting curl up in the floor with her hat on the sofa a boy a year older stood crying and shaking in the corner probably he had just had a beating beside him stood a girl of nine years old tall and thin wearing a thin and ragged chemise with an ancient cashmere police flunk over the bear's holders lung outgrown and barely reaching her knees her arm as thin as a stick was rounded her brother's neck she was trying to comfort him whispering something to him and doing all she could to keep him from whimpering again at the same time her large dark eyes which looked larger still from the thinnest of her frightened face were watching her mother with alarm marmaladev did not enter the door but dropped on his knees in a very doorway pushing cross karmikov in the front of him the woman seeing a stranger stopped indifferently facing him coming to herself for a moment and apparently wondering what he had come for but evidently she decided that he was going into the next run as he had to pass to us to get there talking no father notice of him she walked towards the outer door to close it and uttered a sudden scream and seeing her husband on his knees in the doorway oh she cried out in a frenzy he has come home the criminal the monster and weighs the money what's in your pocket show me and your clothes are all different where are your clothes where is the money speak and she fell on searching him marmaladev submissively and obediently held up both arms to facilitate the search not a farthing was there there is the money she cried mercy on us can he have drank it all there were 12 silver rubles left in the chest and in fury she sees him by the hair and drag him into the floor marmaladev second her efforts by meekly crawling along along his knees and this is a consolation to me this does not hurt me but is a positive consolation honored sir he called out shaking to and fro by his hair and even one striking the ground with his forehead the child asleep on the floor woke up and began to cry the bar in the corner losing all control began trembling and screaming and rushed to his sister in a violent terror almost in a fit the eldest girl was shaking like a leaf he's drunk it he's drunk it all the poor woman's cream in despair and his clothes are gone and they are hungry hungry and wringing her hand she pointed to the children our cursed life and you are you not ashamed she pounced all at once upon raskarnikov from the tavern have you been drinking for him you have been drinking with him too go away the young man was has sinning away without uttering a word the innadol was thrown wide open and inquisitive faces were appearing in at it coals laughing faces with pipes and cigarettes and hats wearing caps thrust themselves in at the doorway father in could be seen figures in dressing gowns flung open and the costumes often seem least countenance some of them with cards in her hands they were particularly diverted when marmaladev dragged about by his hair shouted that it was a consolation to him they even began to come into the room at last a sinister show outcry was heard which came from amalia's lip vassals herself pushing her way all amongst them and trying to restore order after her own passion and for the hundredth time to frighten the poor woman by ordering her the course of use to clear out of the room next day as he went on raskarnikov had time to put his hand on his pocket to snatch up the carpets he had received in exchange for his rubble and the tavern and to lay them unnoticed on the window afterwards on the stairs he changed his mind and would have gone back what a stupid thing i've done he thought to himself they have sonna and i wanted myself but reflecting that it would be impossible to take it back now and that in my case he would not have taken it he dismissed it with the wave of his hand and went back to his lodging sonna once made him to he said as he walked along the street and he left malignantly such smartness cost money hmm and maybe sonna's herself will be brain crept today though there is always a risk hunting big game digging for gold then they would all be without cross tomorrow except for my money or our for sonna with a mind they've dug there and they are making the most of it yes they are making the most of it they are wept over it and grown used it man grows used to everything this coundrel he sank into thought and what are if i am wronged he cried suddenly after a moment's thought what if the man is not really as coundrel man in general i mean the whole race of mankind then all the rest is prejudice simply artificial terrors and there are no barriers and it's all as it should be the end of chapter 2 part