 Hey Tony Gaskins here with an episode of car chronicles now as you know eyes on the road so ride with me talk with me and in our car chronicles you know I really want to start trying to address some of the issues that men bring up grabbing different things from social media and just really getting understanding and talking through it because we have certain narratives out there that a lot of times is one-sided and I got a call the other day from a guy and he said Tony I want to ask you a question he's a professional athlete and he said Tony I want to ask you a question what actually are the benefits of a man getting married like why should a man actually get married and as I was there thinking about it it was hard to come up with an answer I'll be honest with you it was hard to come up with an answer and in the sense of thinking of today's mindset that we have as men because this internet is dangerous the internet is dangerous because now we are being seen and I'm gonna tell you I work in the space of self development and it's a lot of days I get down and depressed when I look and see the women online and some of the mindset so the women online it's bad and a lot of times the good women get overlooked because they're not poking their butt out online and they're not attention seeking they're not walking around with all of their body hanging out to get the eyes of men they're living their life they're taking care of their children if they're a single mom they focus on their career their job their business if they don't have kids and they're minding their business they're going to work they're going home and then they're not doing the most online so it appears that hey there's no good women because men are meeting women differently today and then even men who getting out and they in the singles group at the church if the woman's not in the group if the good woman going to work going home then a man can't meet her moving so far away from like religious conviction so we think about marriage today we just think about being with one woman you can only be with one woman for the rest of your life and if you make a bad decision or that woman gets tired of you if you've built businesses with her if you've built the life with her she could take your kids and because nine out of ten times the court gonna get a kid to the woman she get the kids at least 50% of the time sometimes 60 80 90% of the time and then also she can take half of your money she take half of your money and she may get some type of settlement she may get spousal support and the man may then be put on child support so when you look at it like that it doesn't seem like there's any reason for a man to get married and I had to be real about that to be honest about that on on the outlook it doesn't seem like it makes any sense but we have narratives that's in our society and one of the things that as humans that we like to do we love for everything to fit our narrative and I get I get ticked off when I go and I see a video that's asking a question and then the person goes a different way it's hard to receive it but that's what I'm asking for the men and women who watch this who don't think the way I think who don't do the work that I do to be open-minded and to be patient if we ever disagree and let's have a dialogue a respectful dialogue like a lot of times when we talk about these things people go to calling names and all of that but I'll be honest with you when you think about marriage we're thinking about this one-sided thing we're thinking about marriage is for the woman and not for the man and in a lot of ways marriage is for the woman if we're being honest in a lot of ways marriage is for the woman if that woman wants to be a homemaker and the man is going out and working and providing a living and a lot of women want to be married and a lot of women want to update that Facebook status and a lot of women have planned their wedding from a young age and the women who haven't thought about marriage and a wedding they are the minority and I always see them pop up in the comments like they're a part of the majority but they aren't most women have thought about marriage they want to be married they want to have a family they want to raise kids in the home with a man and they want to be able to sit down if they need to if you have a special needs child or the child is in a certain season of life even not being special needs but just needing them to be able to be responsive and be there at any time at school and that is very customary and we see that a lot and in certain races and nationalities in certain races where the woman being there for the kids and being the homemaker being the CEO of home is very common and then this other segments of society where the woman has to work either because she's a single mom or either because their earnings is so low that it's hard to really live off of one income and we see that and that's a very real thing but as a man I'll tell you how marriage benefits me and and this sometimes ticks off women and because women look and they say well especially a single woman well that's a lot you know that's a lot that a woman is doing like my wife every day she takes our kids to school and it's like 40 minutes and she loves to do it and then she comes back home 40 minutes you know she does the grocery shopping she handles making sure the bills are paid I earn a living the money goes into a joint account she pays the likes water everything out of that money and she makes sure the grocery shopping is done we get groceries delivered most of the times she makes sure the clothes are washed we got a bunch of laundry sometimes 12 outfits in a day because it's four of us and so if you if you do work if you do work out and you do practice you can have three outfits in a day or you're around the house clothes so that's several articles of clothing between four people and you got to think I got on this outfit this is my second outfit because I'm working so this one two three four five articles of clothing so if I change another time that's 15 articles of clothing and you multiply that by three I mean by four that's 60 articles of clothing that my wife is washing and folding and that is when men talk about delegating in business if I had to do all of that laundry and if I had to get up and drive my kids 40 minutes to school drive back home then drive to pick them up drive back home that's 80 minutes twice a day that's 160 minutes if I had to pay an assistant a nanny a driver to do that by the end of the year that's gonna cost a fortune and also I'm having somebody that does not love my kids somebody that may have been up drinking the night before and I don't know that because I wasn't in the bed with them and my wife she is when you think about a wife in essence she is your confidant she is your teammate in a lot of days she is your life coach she is your therapist she is your stripper she is your porn star she is your CEO she is your CFO at times she is your assistant your intern she's the nanny she's the mom she covers a lot of roles when we being honest about it and as a man honestly because my wife doesn't work she takes pride in because she doesn't have an outside job she works in our companies but even with that a lot of times the kids get so busy she can't do a whole lot so a lot of times I really don't have to lift the house lift the finger around the house I earn a living and I earn money but what I'm doing is my purpose so it's invigorating it's draining at times because I'm dealing with human problems but it's invigorating it's purpose driven and it's fun right now I'm riding and this is a dodge challenger it's a super stock 807 horsepower it was only like two or 300 of a May this is 2021 and this is my work this is way better than doing laundry a lady wrote me yesterday and she said her man used to always tell her that his work family was his first family because he spent 12 hours at work I was just watching the documentary about a bourbon heist in Kentucky and the guy said that he worked in the in the warehouse where they did this bourbon and he was like it was fun he said I love my job it was a lot of fun being with the guys and talking and laughing and us taking shots so whiskey and I was like to be honest with you a lot of men are not honest we're a lot of times we're not honest about how fun it is when we get to go to work and be around other guys and talk about guys topics and conversations and how fulfilling and invigorating that is even when the work is hard just having that time where you're not being judged you're not being nagged you're not being whatever and then we go home and then you may feel nagged fortunately my wife doesn't nag and that's why it's important to choose a woman who has a good temperament she has a great conversation skill she knows how to conversate she's a conversationalist she doesn't like to argue and debate she's emotionally intelligent and that's the thing that the reason why most men don't see benefit in marriage is because we don't like self-discipline we don't like the self-control we want to discipline in our diet we want to discipline in our workouts sometimes or one area or the other we want to discipline in our money in our business in our brand but we don't want to discipline with our dingaling we don't want the discipline of not watching pornography not cheating not sleeping around not talking to a ex not having a work wife not having a Facebook wife or Instagram wife not having a female best friend we don't want that discipline and that's why we fail and that's why marriage becomes a burden because it's very stressful to be hiding and to be lying and to be deceiving and manipulating it's very stressful but if you give those things up marriage literally becomes a playground because you're laughing and you're talking with your best friend and you got a business partner you got a confidant you got a support system and that's why studies show that men who are happily married make 20 to 30 percent more money and on average live longer make more money and have better health and it's because of the balancing act that a woman does brings your blood pressure down you we've seen the science on cuddling we've seen the science on sex these things are healthy for us because of what it's releasing in our body the peace and the calm that it brings but when you're controlling a woman when you lie into a woman when you're cheating on a woman when you deceiving a woman your life is going to be a living hell and you're going to hate marriage and so this is what I have found from being a man who once slept with three women in a 24-hour period as a broke man not as a rich man not as a influencer or being being known but as a broke man being a guy who slept with over a hundred women by the age of 21 being a former college athlete being a guy who dealt with a lot of women in the wrong way I can honestly tell you that I would not trade my married faithful life to go back to being a bachelor or a cheater I would not trade it I would not trade it and that's that's the God heavens true and I want to share that from my perspective as a man because it's a so many single man talking about the downside of relationships and so many cheating man talking about the downside of marriage but you hearing this from a married and faithful man who used to be a dog who used to be a cheater and I'm telling you if you try this on this side and you give it a hundred percent and you all the way locked in you give it a year you'll never go back you'll never go back because the things that a porn star or stripper or whoever could do for you to have a woman doing those things for you who loves you the things that a chef the things that a nanny the things that are made the things that a a business manager the thing that anybody you can hire can do for you to have someone doing those things for you that you love that you genuinely care for and y'all women y'all stay out the comments okay this man talking to men there's a man talking to men y'all ain't gonna understand everything so you got the privy of being here but if you know already love a comment from the woman perspective delete your comment just put the clap hand emojis just put your amen and just stay at the barbershop there's a man talking to me so when I explain the benefits of marriage some women go like oh a woman like a maid why he had to say that that's what a maid would be doing a lot of stuff that a woman does that's the truth for the matter and but sometimes when women hear the benefits it may sound like a disadvantage to a woman but if a man is loving that woman providing for that woman making love to her mind making love to her body taking care of her not controlling her then that woman does not mind taking care of her home cooking clean laundry sex whatever it may be that's what we got to understand let's um y'all hit this little rev a little bit see this ain't even work we can't call this work and that's what I'm trying to say so listen any fellow see this put me a real question in the comments from the male perspective what men dealing with what men going through put me a little question in the comments any men who see this question you have about manhood marriage married life being a father and we're gonna talk about these things and I'm gonna give my perspective because it's a lot of perspectives out there from guys who are not living and doing life you know the way that I'm living and doing it not to say that my way is better but it's different so a thanks so much for tuning in we'll talk soon