 I'm Dr. Lisa Aronson-Fontes. I'm going to speak about how to help a person you know who is being harmfully controlled in their intimate relationship. Stay in touch. Don't allow the person to become isolated. Call, email, text, stop by. Let the person know your concerns in a gentle, non-judgmental way. Ask what you can do to help, but do not take over. Ask what would make their life easier and give them strength. Maybe they need a place to stay, babysitting. Maybe they need help taking care of pets or money. Don't commit to more than you can actually take on. Avoid telling the victim what to do. People are the experts on their own lives, and they can assess their own safety better than anyone else. Listen to what the person wants to say, but don't ask too many questions. Allow the person to express a range of feelings without criticism. Hate, anger, shame, fear, even love for the abuser, these are all apt to pop up. Encourage the person to seek professional support. A domestic violence advocate is an expert at helping in this situation, even if there's no physical violence. Be careful about giving advice. Advocates who work with controlling and abusive relationships every day will be able to offer the best advice about safety. For example, many well-meaning people tell their friends to obtain a restraining order, but for some victims this leads to increased violence. Interested in learning more? Please check out my book, Invisible Chains, Overcoming Coercive Control in Your Intimate Relationship, and look for my other videos on coercive control. Thank you.