 Hey there friends, how's it going? My name is Kevin and today we're playing Speaking Simulator Which should be easy because we've been here a few times Oh right, let's get distorted I like the menus just play, help me Who did this? Sorry, but you are now alive Oh god damn it I get to make a character? This is great I want to make him look as non-human as possible Can I make him look like me? Specified junk, that's not a very PC way of saying pick a gender This is you, a perfect human replica, the peak of our engineering technology To blend into human society you will need to learn to speak Go ahead, try the jaw mechanism Oh that's pretty good I passed that for a human He's just a bit of a mouth breather, he's just hanging his mouth open Jesus Christ, he looks like he'd take a bite out of here Okay, we got a tongue cam with W-A-S-D I've debated having a tongue cam on my videos Oh god, I'm knocking out a few teeth there I don't need these ones anyway Jesus Christ, they've just fallen out of there Oh yes, a date, level one Jesus Christ, why did it take me so long in life to get to level one? The manager of human resources, Karen, has asked us to meet at this human food dispensary We do not know why, show caution, it is possible that they suspect we plan on destroying humanity I sure she can't speak either, I should be fine How do I do a H sound? Hell, hell, that's there, wait hold on Hell, yeah, yeah, hell is like up here Hell, that's no wait, hold on Okay, that's right at the front there Oh my god, my teeth are falling out I'm sorry, I'm going to have to get the soup Okay, there we go Okay, and now I'm getting it That's like right at the front If you know anyone who needs to learn English, just send them my way God, this is so difficult What do I do? Can I restart? It's going red and that's just making me really nervous Haha, first sentence, his first words Okay, this might arouse suspicion in itself Oh no, his teeth are falling out I just realized they're like USBs Get that tongue up there Go on, get that tongue up there, nice and good To be fair, he's as good as socializing as I am She's so attracted to me and I don't blame her Detachable teeth, that's got to be a bonus Women love that, trust me, I'm an expert Hit that button, come on This is such a fucking mess Oh, he's shocked His little mouth, it's getting so fucked up I only messed up two parts of words there That was pretty good sentence You are such a flirt I love it God, her standards are low Perfect woman for me How? Oh Jesus, what is going on? What happened? I think the gig is up at this point This is a mess Nice, good job there She's like, oh, he's winking at me Meanwhile, look at the state of it Cool Center Oh God, my nose is coming loose I need coolant, give me coolant Short to cocktail, whatever, just get me some Oh my God, why are you making this sentence so long? Just say yes It was joke I had the best type of jokes When you have to explain them That was a joke, just how jokes aren't funny If you have to explain them What a treat Not only are you gorgeous But you've got a sense of humor too Meanwhile, he's falling apart Yep, I'm just quirky like that I am a fan Oh God, what happened to my voice there? Like how come she's the one who's not talking much When I have to deal with this situation Oh thank God, it's over Never going on a date again Rating 100% actual humor Yep, he would have fooled me Upgrade available, please Upgrade me Okay, I'm supposed to upgrade through his teeth What the heck? Okay, I bought a smile Do you like it? I can buy slow dance I'm gonna save up for that Honestly, this feels the same as my date I feel like I was pulling teeth Getting conversation out of her as well Oh, I want to go to church Oh, I got a complete level eight I'm never gonna get to go to church Just a good Catholic boy, aren't I? The club, I'd like to go there too The job interview, fantastic Greetings, mighty supreme leader He's starting to sound like one of my sims Oh, he can smile now, yay Oh, maybe not yay Oh my God, why is this such a long and complicated sentence? Oh no, oh no, oh no Just start flapping Oh no Brain, gang Oh no A few teeth just went flying Just ignore them It's a good sign I'm committed to this job Even my teeth are falling out I won't call in sick Sticking out my tongue Jesus Christ, that's long I closed my mouth on my tongue Give him a smile, there you go I'll have to try that Is he on about the tongue thing? I trust people who take care of their body My teeth are falling out all over the place So if you're on board, we'd love to welcome you to the family Okay, thank you Accept No, just say yes God damn it Let me just retract my tongue back in Thank you Oh God, it's a bit stuck I thought I got the job I must have misunderstood it Because the interview is going on Oh my God, what is this? I think I'm breaking down Yeah, I'm breaking down Why isn't this raising suspicion? Sorry, there must be a nearby radio interfering with me Have you had a microwave in here by any chance? Oh God, he's like swallowing his own tongue All right, just continue, continue Here's your round of luck, man Because Oh my God, I'm getting faster now I'm getting really good If this is what good is, I don't want to be good anymore Your performance has been spectacular What is the competition here? I feel like I'm the only one interested in the job Quick, stick your tongue out at him Look like you're fun He's like, I'll do anything for the job Even as they're live or out twitching Just makes it more uncomfortable Sorry, just dry lips Just trying to get them a bit moist Look at the profile view You'll need a medical before you're fully hired Oh no, that might not go well Oh dear, what was your name again? Oh sorry, there it is at the top of your file Last name, Textfield First name, Blank That's a powerful name right there Blank Textfield? Turkish? No, I am not hungry That's the end of the interview I think the guy was like, okay, he's good material for the job But not so good a conversation Oh, by frown Yeah, I want to frown at people Oh, it's a little gold tooth That makes me look dashing I'm tempted to knock out one of my teeth to make a gold one Oh, more in the office I want to go to the club, god damn it Don't wait, I'm going in to find someone in the bathroom You slacking in there I'm about to frown at you I can do that now This is me frowning apparently I think that upgrade is faulty Sorry, I'm on the toilet right now I'm coming in, Carol Ripped Horde Should I see if it isn't uncomfortable enough Getting a talking to by this guy But in the bathroom Wait, he's just two minutes late Can we not give him A few more minutes in the bathroom Engaging He actually says engaging empathy You know, it'd be a lot easier if we all did that You wouldn't have to worry about body language Are you're lower in test I feel like if I just let him to it He'd be back sooner than me giving him this talking to I'm taking a while to get my point across Loss of appetite Heightened focus Sweaty bombs Oh my god, he's speaking great all of a sudden Can you just speak like this all the time using recordings? They don't seem to notice Wait, what was that last one? Was that last side effect there? Toilet cameras are modern heard for efficiency God, this place is really progressive Thanks for this You're the best, man Why am I the best? Like the worst boss in history All right, no, this situation is dealt with Let's go check those toilet cameras Best human Wait, did I just agree to be his best man? I don't think he offered that Yeah, I didn't mean to invite you to be at the All right, he's fine with it Yay, I'm a best man At least I'm best at something Gain system control of your eyes Oh Jesus Christ I feel like it's already too much Give me the eyebrows I want to put a motion across Oh, it's time for my medical Fantastic This is gonna go fine I think I've already failed the medical My teeth are falling out Too much eye contact Oh Jesus Christ Oh, this is getting hard all of a sudden Need more contact Hold on Oh Jesus Christ Okay, this is too much There's a lot going on now There is a lot going on Oh Jesus Yeah, I'm gonna fail this medical Oh my god, I'm falling apart You see, we all do this without even thinking And now I'm starting to think about it too much Like I'm thinking about how I'm breathing And like how my tongue is moving in my eyes Oh my god This is overwhelming Oh Jesus This is so stressful Oh Jesus Oh Jesus Come on Come on, talk Talk Okay, there goes an eye How suspicious is she right now? She's pretty damn suspicious How is it saying too much eye contact? That eye is hanging out of my head Great Now they're both out Need more eye contact I can't My eyes are falling out I can't move my eyes This is extremely stressful I can't handle this By the sounds of it You're a very mentally healthy person Okay If you say so, doc Oh my god My voice is fake Oh god damn it I think I've been found out Okay, let's try that again I just got to keep on top of the eyes I couldn't adjust them Once they fell out of my head And I was making too much eye contact apparently Honestly The teeth are just pesky I say we get rid of them for good Because we don't need them They just get in the way It's going a lot better this time It's just about keeping track of the eyes And it's confusing Because you don't actually really click on the arrow That comes up You click on the eyes So I keep getting overwhelmed Oh shit I hit a nerve with that one I was doing so well up to that point Why is his eyebrow freaking out? I thought I was doing good Okay, I'm starting to get overwhelmed again Speaking is so difficult People don't understand how hard my job is Oh my god I'm getting a bit tongue tight It's all over the place Feck, feck, feck Your glowing self-assessment Certainly saves me having to get up I appreciate that I don't think this is how physicals are done, doc Everything seems to be fine I'm sparking Maybe she thinks I'm just flirting with that little raised eyebrow Ask you for documents to prove you're a normal human You gotta do shift the eyes for this one Yes We did it Oh my god That was so difficult That's so stressful There's just no even second to let up You gotta keep on top of everything Slow dance Oh my god The next one will be at the club Jesus Christ I really want to go to the club with this guy I really do He'd be a blast at parties But I think it'll be too long if I do it All right, you know what? I will have to end it there Otherwise it's gonna go on too long But if you want to see more, let me know And we can see what this guy has made of We can see his proper dance moves Like I thought his tongue dance was impressive I imagine his actual dance But I do hope you enjoyed me speaking I know I did I appreciate you watching I really hope you enjoyed it This was a fun game, actually I have to recommend it It's a good laugh But it is stressful So if you have high blood pressure, stay away But either way, I appreciate you watching It really means a lot to me And I really hope to see you next time Well, so yeah, thanks for watching And bye for now