 The Kraft Foods Company, bakers of new parquet margarine, present Willard Waterman as the great Gildersleeve. The great Gildersleeve is brought to you partially transcribed by the Kraft Foods Company. Did you have Kraft's new parquet margarine at your house today? I hope you did because new parquet is the margarine that looks wonderful, tastes wonderful, and spreads smoothly even when ice cold. And now there's still another reason for serving new parquet regularly. With every pound you buy, you can order a pair of famous Powers Model nylon stockings at half price. I'll be back a little later to tell you more about parquet margarine sensational nylon offer. The great Gildersleeve is one executive who believes that regular office hours can become pretty monotonous. So he sometimes breaks the monotony around a quarter to five, especially if he gets any encouragement. Come on Aunt Lockup, let's go home. Leroy, just because you're on your way home from school doesn't mean I'm going to close the office. You mean you're going to sit there with your hat on, twirling your office keys until five o'clock? Well, I guess I could leave a little early. It's been a good day. Yeah? Look at this letter I got from a customer this morning. What does it say? You will read it. Okay. He likes doing business with the Summerfield Water Department. He must be new in town. Now Leroy? Dear Water Commissioner, I've only been a resident in town for a couple of months. See? Read on, Leroy. Okay. But I'd like to take this opportunity to compliment you on the way you've handled our water problems and the new subdivision. You bet. All too often our good public servants go unheralded. Hey, not bad, huh? No, sir. I may just have that framed. Yeah, you can hang it over the mantle. It isn't a fish, but it sounds fishy. Watch it, Leroy. Only kidding, lads. Well, I've worked hard building up this department, my boy. I've made a good Water Commissioner if I do say so myself. Probably a lot of people in town would like to express themselves about the service. I'm sure there are. Ah, I'm sure there are. Oh. I've been toying with an idea. Yeah? I'll invite all the customers to send comments about the water service. I'll enclose a note when I send out last month's bills. You mean you haven't set them out yet? Yeah, well, I'm a little late, but... Maybe that's why this guy's so happy with the service. He hasn't received the bill. Well, he'll get one. Right, George. I think I'll take this fellow's nice letter down the hall and show it to the mayor. Come on, Leroy. Let's lock up. Oh, boy. Now you're on this outfit the way it should be run. Well, I may leave the office a little early once in a while, but whether I'm on the job or not, I'm always thinking of ways to make the department better. Even when you're out with Mrs. Ransom? Leroy, you wait here. Okay. That boy. Mr. Mann. Is that you, Gilda Fleve? Yes, indeed. Come in. Come in. Thank you. What's on your mind? Well, I have a little something to show you. You have last month's water report for me? Well, it isn't that. Oh, oh, you're bringing me a written excuse. No, not exactly, Your Honor. Your report is past due, you know. Well... Or can I be mistaken? Now, what day is this, Gilda Fleve? It's March 4th. And when is your report due? March 1st. Well, goody-goody for me, I'm not wrong. Well, I'm glad you're not upset, Mr. Mann. Gilda Fleve! I want that report on my desk this weekend at the latest. Yes, sir. No excuses, no alibis. Is that clear? Yes, your alibi. Your Honor. Now then, why did you come in here? That's what I'm asking myself. The voice sounds. I can hear him way down the hall. Yes, yes. Was he yelling for joy when you told him your great idea? Well, I didn't like his attitude and decided to keep it to myself. You run along home, Leroy. I'm stopping at Mrs. Ransom a minute. Can I tell Bertie you'll be home for dinner or do you want to wait and see what's cooking at Mrs. Ransom? Leroy, I'll be right home. I just want to tell her I have to work tonight. Okay, see you later, hon. Goodbye, my boy. Yeah, I hate to do it. But I'll have to break my date with Leroy to get out my report. Yeah, I've been later than this and the mayor hasn't growled. Besides, he knows I haven't had a secretary since that day Bessie went down for a maul and never returned. Martin. Hello. Thank you. Oh, I didn't expect you until later. Or did you come to take me out to dinner? Well, I'm afraid we'll have to call everything off this evening. Work is piled up at the office. Oh. I have to burn the midnight oil. You can do that with me. What? Trock, Martin. Wouldn't you rather spend the evening with Leela than with those soggy old water bills? No, Leela. Don't put the pressure on the water commissioner. Oh, I wouldn't think of it. I wonder what that good-looking intern is doing tonight. Leela. I'm just teasing Trock, Martin. Good. Of course, I'm disappointed. But if you have to work, I'll stay home and work, too. Well, knitting a sweater? No, I'm just paying my bills. Are those your bills? Your desk looks as loaded as mine. I always have such a time keeping my camp straight. Now, look at this telephone bill. Isn't that awful? Well, you do a lot of talking, Leela. Of course, a lot of people call me, but I shouldn't be charged for that. Well, you aren't. I suspect I pay for most of those incoming calls. Don't I? Trock, Martin. I've got news for you. If I got calls from only one bow, I'd have my phone taken out. Now, what if they put on this bill? Yeah, let me see. Have they added the unit messages to the toll calls? Well, of course, Leela. Well, I better check them on that. Let me see here. If I call an 8 or 12 with one to carry, then one and two or three plus four makes eight. No, Leela. Four plus three comes to seven. But there was one to carry. If you added the one to the two to make three. Well, then why didn't I get seven like you did? Eh... Yeah, I'd better run along home, Leela, so I can get back to the office. Oh, you poor man. Trock, Martin, I have an idea. Why don't I come down and help you with your figures tonight? Oop. It's a nice thought. But you have enough to do right here. Oh, but I'm tired scrambling, Martin. I want to come down to the office and help scramble yours. Ah, sorry, Leela. The mare is too hard-boiled. I don't want to dish him up anything scrambled. Mr. Gilsey, you sure rushed your dinner this evening. Well, there's work to be done. Yes, sir. But it never pays to rush your meals. If I don't get out my work, we don't get paid and we don't eat meals. We don't? Well, let's get out the work. Well, that's why I'm rushing, Leera. Yes, but as long as we got meals, it don't pay to rush them. Yeah, I know, Bertie. A man's gonna live happier and longer if he don't rush it. Yes, yes. A man's gonna live happier and longer if he don't rush his meals. All right, Bertie. I don't want to rush it, but you ready for your second cup of coffee? Yes, it's gonna be a long night. I'll need a lot of coffee. Yes. Why don't you take along a pocket full to keep you awake? A pocket full of coffee. Hey, how about letting me come down and help you? You, Leera? Sure, I'll be glad to help you out of your jam. You won't even have to raise my allowance. Unless you want to. Yes, yes. Yours is the second offer I've refused. Yeah? Leela wanted to come down, but of course I had to say no. Can you imagine her working in an office? She got a little upset when I refused her. But I pointed out I would accomplish more working alone. Yes. Of course I could use some help right now. But I need somebody who knows what three plus four equals. Seven. I'm impressed, Leera, but I'm not taking you to the office. Oh, for corn's sake. Say, Grace Tuttle once offered to help me at the office. She says she enjoys secretarial work. She wouldn't be bad. She's a school teacher. I think I'll give her a jingle. Yes. Mr. Guilty, I thought you told Ms. Ransom you'd get more done working alone. Well, it wouldn't be like having Mrs. Ransom there. Ms. Tuttle has had an office experience. Oh, yes. I knew you'd end up spending the evening with one of your girls. Leeroy, this is strictly business. Young man, watch it. It's nice of you to come down and help me tonight, Grace. I'm sure it'll be very interesting, Brock Morton. I've never seen your office. We're coming to it. Oh, it's way in the back. Well, it is this side of the broom closet. Now, here's the mayor's office right there. To Williger. He certainly has to Williger and big letters on the door. Yeah, he'd make them bigger. But you have to hyphenate his name. And here is where you get Mary's license. How exciting. Is this why you brought me down? You don't know. Come along, Grace. I was only joking. You didn't have to turn pale. And here is where the important water decisions are made. In fact, I'd like you to help me with one of my big ideas tonight. Oh? Come in, Grace. My, you have a very nice office. Thank you. Looking at your desk, I see you do have work to do. Well, I'm a little behind. But the mayor doesn't seem to appreciate the fact I'm without a secretary. Where do we start? Well, first I want you to listen to this letter that came in the morning's mail. Dear Water Commissioner, I'd like to take this opportunity to compliment you on the way you've handled our water problems in the new subdivision. What do you think of that? That's very complimenting. I thought so, too. So I conceived the idea of enclosing a little note in every water bill, inviting customers to express their opinions of my department. Isn't that like poking a hornet's nest? Grace, you don't seem to realize the good job I've been doing. Oh, I'm sorry, Throt Morton. This letter was unsolicited, voluntary. Think of the flood of mail I'll get if I give the customers a little prod. That's what I'm thinking about. Yeah, then I'll dump the letters in the mayor's desk and he'll never roar at me again. Fine. Now, how do we start your monthly report? Before we get into that, I'd better compose that note to the customers, asking them to criticize me. I've never known a man with such a low threshold of pain. What? Never mind, Throt Morton. Start composing. Oh, well, let's see. A dear customer. Say, you know shorthand. For short notes so we can get to your water report. Oh, well, we'll get that out. Dear customer. Do you have that? Twice. Oh. Right, George. Grace, this is a great idea of mine. Throt Morton, stop dawdling. I'm not dawdling. I'm thinking. Could that be the same thing? No, Grace, this will do me a lot of good with the mayor. Yes, sir. We're up to dear customer. Hell, yes. Dear customer. Grace, can you stop to answer the phone? Yes, I think I can remember where we were. Hello? Is this the water department? If it isn't, my evening's a total loss. Yes, it is, dear. Dear? A mutual friend of ours. Great, ma'am. Just a moment. Are you in, Throt Morton? Oh, yes. Always glad to talk to a mutual friend. Catch. Oop. Grace, you shouldn't toss the receiver. I never hold a hot potato very long. Hello? Free. Well, I thought as long as I could get some confident help. Well, I never. Grace is a school teacher, you know. School was added. But... What about my offer to help? Well, Leela, let's face it. No reflection, but you couldn't add four and three. Well, I can... This is what happens when a man tries to do a conscientious job. Gildesley will return in just a moment. If you could get beautiful nylon stockings at half price, wouldn't you jump at the chance? That's exactly the bargain offered at any store that sells Kraft's new parquet margarine. In every package of Kraft's new parquet, you'll find how to order famous power's model nylons for only 75 cents a pair, just half the price you'd ordinarily pay. These luxurious first quality nylons were styled by John Robert Powers to flatter the legs of America's most glamorous cover girls. They're the weight most women prefer, 51 gauge, 15 denier. A special flexible top assures a perfect fit, and their tapered heels slenderizes your ankle. When a nationally known laboratory tested these power's model nylons, they reported their quality and durability the equal of nylons selling at $1.50. But you can order them at half price, as many as you want for only 75 cents a pair, plus the yellow side panel from a package of parquet margarine. You can select either a dark seam or a self-color seam, and the choice of two of the season's smartest shades. Just send in 75 cents for each pair, and a little yellow flap that tucks into the top of the package. Be sure to pick up Kraft's wonderful parquet tomorrow, the delicious new margarine that spreads smoothly, even when ice cold. Complete instructions for ordering your nylons are given inside every package. Well, let's get back to the great Gilda sleep. Operating without the services of his secretary, he got a little behind with his work, so he decided to get the most capable help he knew. Leroy's school teacher helped him at the office last night. Hi, honk. Good morning, Leroy. Did you and Miss Tuttle get any work done at the office last night? Yes, we did. I hope they didn't keep her up too late, so she'll be cranky in school today. No, we left the office early. To go to a movie? No, Leroy. I dictated a little note to the customers, asking for their comments on the service. You really went through with that, huh? Yep, we enclosed it with the bills, and all we have to do tonight is get out the report. Now, where's my other shoe? Oh, I forgot to tell you, the dog took it downstairs. Oh, my goodness. Well, I've been teaching him to retrieve. He gets confused. Well, I hope he didn't bury it under the house. Let's go downstairs and look for it. Okay. Dog, where are you? Yes, Bertie. Here's your shoe. Oh, just looking for it. Thank you. Bertie wrestled the dog for it. Bertie won two out of three falls. Good. I'm glad you caught him. Yes. Miss Gilsley did Miss Ransom get you at the office last night? Yeah, she caught me red-handed. Miss Tuttle answered the phone. Uh-oh. Well, I'll fix that up. I'm going to invite Mrs. Ransom to lunch. I know how to handle women. Spending money on them, huh? Well, these things have to be smoothed out. Were you taking her to the crystal room? No, my boy. I can't spare the time from the office for a long, expensive lunch. I'm taking you to Peetie's. Oh, you've got Peter the baloney there. I've accomplished quite a lot at the office this morning. I'm sure Grace and I can wind up the report tonight. Hello, Peetie. Mr. Gilsley. What can I do for you today? Mrs. Ransom is meeting me here for lunch. What's on the menu? Baloney. Oh, my goodness. Peetie, I want something a lady likes. Well, Mrs. Peetie likes it, and she's a lady. This lunch has to be a little special, Peetie. Well, if your money's burning a hole in your pocket, I might suggest the Chicken-Ola King. That should be fit for your queen. Yes, yes. That was a little whitishism, Mr. Gilsley. Chicken-Ola King, Queen. I get it, Peetie. Yeah, I'm laughing. Well, I have my problems. I asked Grace to help me out at the office, and Lila found out about it. Now, what's wrong with that? Lila volunteered first, and I told her I was going to work alone. My, my. Well, I'm still glad I asked Grace. We got all the bills out last night. Yeah, I received mine this morning. Peetie, what's so funny? Mr. Gilsley, I've spent quite an amusing morning composing an answer to your request for criticism. Well, Peetie, you know there are two kinds of criticism. Good and bad. You should have thought of that before you sent these things out. Now, how did this sound, Mr. Gilsley? I, for one, have no gripes. Good. About the drip inside of the pipe. Yeah, I thought that was pretty good. Of course, I could send this other one in. It's a little more personal. Yeah, I'd rather not hear it, Peetie. Yeah. Well, here's Lila. And here's the busy water commissioner. Yep. How are you today, Mr. Granton? Hello, Mr. Peetie. You cute little old man, you. Well, Lila, I'm glad you're in such good spirits today. Oh, I felt better about everything since the mail came this morning. Get a letter from an old bow? No, Peetie, let's not get curious. Okay. Did you, Lila? You might call this a note from an ex-bowl. Ex-bowl? Lila, what are you talking about? I'll give you a hint. As far as Lila's concerned, he's so much water under the bridge. But, Lila... I've got your invitation to comment on the way you run your water department, Drachman. Uh-oh. I've been working on that, too. Mr. Peetie, may I use your stamp machine? Yes, ma'am. Mr. Peetie, what do you think of a city official who has dates at the office and tells the mayor he's working nights? Doesn't sound very good. No, Lila, if that's your complaint about the water department, why waste a stamp? I'll take it now. Oh, this doesn't happen to be addressed to you, Drachman. He doesn't? I just assumed you wanted the letters to go to his honor, the mayor. The mayor? You're going to show them to him anyway, aren't you? Well, the good ones. Yeah, I mean... Lila, let's order lunch and talk this over. Order anything you want. Yeah, this looks like a good time to take your honor. Drachman, I consider cooperating with your plan much more important than lunch. But... And before I do another thing, I want to get this letter in the mail. Wait a minute, Lila. Lila! Oh, well, she won't mail it. She won't get me in Dutch with the mayor. No, I wouldn't say that. I'm scared, yeah. I found it. I didn't think Lila would mail that letter to the mayor. But she did. And I couldn't get it out of the box either. Not even with an old coat hanger and some chewing gum. And that pushy policeman wouldn't believe I was trying to mail the coat hanger. Oh, well. We're going through to have Grace come here to the office tonight. I'll just phone her and call it off. Hello? Grace, this is Drachmorton. Oh, yes, Drachmorton. I want to thank you again for helping me last night. It was fun. I'm looking forward to this evening. Well, about this evening, I won't be needing you. Oh, you have quite a lot of work to do. Is this because of the phone call from Lila? Oh, no. You're sending in another shift, are you? No, no, indeed. I'll be working alone tonight. I know you need help. I'll bet you're just trying to be nice. Oh, not me. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a lot of work to do. Thanks again. Goodbye. Ta-ta. He sounded a little disappointed. I just can't take any chances on upsetting the mayor. That letter Lila sent was going to take some explaining anyway. You think I'll just hot-foot it into his office before he gets it? Sure. I'll say, Mr. Mayor, if you get a letter about me, don't pay any attention to it. It's from a disgruntled customer. A very disgruntled customer. Mr. Mayor, Gelder sleeve. Oh, yes, Gelder sleeve. You have your report. Zeke. Not yet, Mr. Mayor. Working on it. Well, come in. Thank you. What's the trouble? Oh, no trouble, Mr. Mayor. I just don't want any. That's all. What? Has your afternoon mail come yet? No, it hasn't. Well, I have a feeling you'll get a letter about me from a disgruntled customer. What's he disgruntled about? He's a she. Oh. And she's disgruntled because I had to break a date with her. You know how it is. I'm not so sure that I do. You, Ali, it might be implied that I've had dates at the office when I was really worthy. Oh, Gelder sleeve, forget it. Good. I know you wouldn't live so dangerously. You know my business policies. I've always demanded that the city employee keep his social life separate from the office. Oh, you're absolutely right, Mr. Mayor. And I wouldn't tolerate any exceptions to the rules. Oh, I can see that. I, Gelder sleeve, I don't even permit Mrs. de Williger to come to the office. Really? I always tell her I see enough of her at home. Very good, Mr. Mayor. So, Gelder sleeve. Yes. If I can tell that to my wife, you can tell it to your girlfriend. Yes, sir. Total gallons of water. Who could be that? Oh, it's Lila. Guess she's checking on me. Here, come in, Lila. I'm here this hour, but I just had to see you. Who? I want to apologize to you. Well, if it's about the letter you wrote to the mayor. Isn't it a little late to apologize? Drop my heartin'. Yes, Lila? I was just teasing you. Teasing? I didn't write the mail letter. That was just a blank piece of paper, ma'am. It was? You know Lila wouldn't really do anything to embarrass her best boss. Oh, good old Lila. I just couldn't stand another girl being down here with you. Right, George. Everything worked out great. Gelder sleeve. Uh-oh, it's the mayor. You'll have to hide, Lila. You won't stand for a fellow's girlfriend coming to the office. Gelder sleeve. One moment, Mr. Mayor. Quickly, leave in the coat closet. Come in, Mr. Mayor. Gelder sleeve, what are you doing? Just filing things away. Oh, well, I was just leaving my office and I thought I heard a woman's voice. A woman? In here? Drockmorton. Grace. Oh, excuse me, Mr. Mayor. Drockmorton, after you phoned, I thought I really should come down. Uh-huh. Yeah, Mr. Mayor. Miss Tuttle is Leroy's teacher. Well, what is she teaching you? She came down to assist me with my work. Gelder sleeve, this is highly irregular, but if she's helping, get out the report. She's helping, I'm going to help, too. Gelder sleeve. Why? He even has some coming out of the woodwork. Gelder sleeve. The great Gelder sleeve will be right back. Remember Kraft's new Parquet margarine when you go shopping? Parquet is the delicious margarine that spreads smoothly, even when ice cold. And with every pound of Parquet you buy, you can order famous Power's Model nylon stockings at half price. Yes, only 75 cents a pair. Your family will enjoy the appetizing fresh flavor of Kraft's new Parquet margarine. And it gives you a wonderful chance to build a glamorous hosiery wardrobe at half price. Thanks for the coffee, Gelder sleeve. Oh, not at all, Mr. Mayor. I'm glad I had the opportunity to explain things. See, it was the girls who insisted on helping me. Let's see how they're doing it. The month of February, 3,89621. Have you got that great? Uh-huh, thank you, Leela. I'll add that in this column. By George, with the girls working like this, I'll have you report out in no time. Yes, they will. This gives me an idea, Gelder sleeve. Yeah? I wonder how the city of Somerfield would react to a lady water commissioner. I'd better get busy. Good night, folks. The great Gelder sleeve is played by Willard Waterman. The show is written by John Elliott and Andy White of his partially transcribed. The tutors in the cast are Walter Tetley, Lillian Randolph, Stanley Ferrar, Mary Schiff, Shirley Mitchell, and Dick Lagrange. Musical composition by Jack Meakin. This is John Easton saying good night for the Craft Food Company, makers of the famous line of craft quality food products. Be sure to listen in next week and every week for the further adventures of the great Gelder sleeve. One of the most important ways you can help your fellow men is by supporting the 1953 Red Cross Fund. This year, the Red Cross must have $93 million to meet the needs of our men and women in uniform to train volunteers in first aid and home nursing to aid victims of disaster. So answer the call. Make a generous contribution to the 1953 Red Cross Fund. You'll be helping an organization that always answers the call of humanity whenever and wherever it is made. Tonight, play You Bet Your Life on NBC.