 I cannot give the rebel operatives the code names Luke, Han, Chewie, or Yoda. Well-hung is not a physical, social, or mental trait. A gimp suit does not count as leather armor. I cannot gradually describe my character more and more until it's obvious I'm describing Bert Reynolds. My lifelong nemesis is not allowed to be the unsuspecting cleric sitting across the table from me. Anything my character does that ends up as a rata, I am retroactively prohibited from doing. Chaotic evil deities do not have hymnals. Even if he can use them from the start, my barbarian can't specialize in fencing weapons. A malsuit is not proper guard for my Shuginja. I cannot cast invisibility on random household items like car keys, tea sets, or bear traps. I cannot spend all my points on just followers. Even if the rules allow it, I cannot start the game as Pope. I am not the son, father, husband, ex-room mate, former professor, or retired garbage man of the villain. My British super-spider does not get a re-roll on his seduction check if his church gets ripped off. Under religion, I cannot put Xenu. My gnome cannot save point on the ride skills simply by asking for piggyback rides everywhere. My character is not allowed to commit suicide five minutes into the campaign. My battle cry is not, now young Skywalker, you will die. Vampiric cows are not the fast food innovation of the future. My character does not have the flaw Dark Secret, I am Kilroy. The Sultan does not want a treasure bath. The monk's official title is Brother of the Lotus Path, not the slap happy jappy. My bard knows more songs than just I saw your mommy. I cannot start the game with a highly contagious deadly disease. I cannot start the game pregnant. Even if he was a paragon of humanity in his alternate dimension, Good Hitler is not an appropriate superhero concept. Cannot accumulate 200 points of flaws for Hackmaster. I am not allowed to decide which one of us is the chosen one. I cannot keep my phaser on disintegrate just because it's the coolest setting. Not allowed to spoil the plot by simply removing the hinges on the door. The Halfland Paladin does not represent the Lollipop Guild. I cannot invoke consecrate weapon on a man of war. I cannot spend character points to buy imaginary friends. I cannot fistinate anybody, whatever the hell that means. Pinball is not a specialization for wizards. An install in cyberware can't install the clapper as a built-in feature. Can't start a Cthulhu character with a pre-existing hatred of books, alters, and cutlery. Even if the rules allow it, I cannot control 20,000 pigeons and use them as flying piranha. Any character named El Robodico Jarafe de Diego is begging to be vetoed. Can't avoid going on an epic quest with the excuse can't find a sitter. I cannot start the game married to another PC without their consent. Not allowed to declare myself a free agent and take offers from other adventuring parties. After the first adventure, I cannot write a tell-all book about the party. I must remember loyalty to not share the same love of parody as my bard. No matter how much I make my IQ roll by, I cannot make the other guys' head explode. I don't have weapon proficiency in elf either. I most certainly do not have weapon proficiency in a phased plasma rifle in the 40 watt range. If I'm not the Decker, I can't do anything I saw on Tron once. The rest of the party appreciates it if I don't start the game in Cyberpsychosis. Power word beer me is not a real spell. I am not allowed to buzz anything. I cannot take skill profession ichthysist. When I choose my wizards familiar, Belgians are not a legal choice. I cannot pick a destroy that makes the Veritech pilots feel inadequate. Tricking the party into killing each other off and then turning into corpses for the bounty it's frowned upon. My monk's battle cry is not round one, fight! No matter how well I roll, the quack skill is not a substitute for the doctor skill. I cannot disassemble a card under five minutes. Even if the rules allow it, I cannot make a character that gets double XP per game for showing up. Killing quicklings with marbles only works once. I must remind the GM that my blessed can raise dead before he runs another murder mystery again. It is not feasible for my archer to recreate Hudson's last stand. It is very unlikely my half ogre and the half elf, half dragon, tieflin and asymar have the same dad. When challenged to the showdown, I meant to face him at ten paces with pistols, not ten blocks with a sharp big 50 cal. I am to avoid killing, upstaging and seducing historical characters. Not allowed to set up the main villain with the mad scientist's sister. Female minotaurs do not have udders. This issue is closed. No using excessive firepower to force the plot along. My teleporter cannot stop the alien invasion with just a law of displacement, laws of motion and a huge freaking asteroid. Not supposed to stop the soon to be cyber-psycho by disassembling him earlier in the adventure. What happens in Sigil does not always stay in Sigil. No thinking of new, creative and fun uses for cursed items. Cannot start the game blitzed, especially if I was stone sober at the last game break. It is bad form for the queen to see my nipples. I am not to combine the advantage fearless and the disadvantage curious in the same character again. Killing the building to not add to my body count. The barbarian must remember that human shield is the figure of speech. My character is required to have a minimum wisdom of ten, that way I have no excuses. I cannot give my character to moniker Tim the Barbarian, especially since he is the bard. I am to stop asking the elf to put a good word in for me for Santa. I cannot use the ventriloquism skill to convince the fighter his new sword is a magical talking one. Men max for combat equals good. Men max for accounting equals bad. I can't bet the power gamer he can't solo the module. It is not okay to use ten thousand rounds to kill two centuries. The titles Viking and Obstetrician are mutually exclusive. All characters will use the bathroom before the dungeon crawl. The following words are not legal for the command spell. Prognosticate, theorize, notarize. I cannot give magic items super easy command words like is or duh and activate when you say them. Pursue means chase after, not just make called shots to the knees. My samurai is not required to commit zapuku if he fails to hit the monster. My character's background must be more in-depth than a montage of queen lyrics. A starting paladin has no conceivable use for industrial lubricant. I am forbidden to see whether halflings or gnomes bounce higher. If I can fit my head down the gun's barrel, I can assume it doesn't have the non-lethal option. If the light spell expires, no lighting is worth. I cannot have any weapon that requires me to crank-start it first. I will refrain from using wildly inaccurate high explosive weapons in close quarters. I will not tell new players that first level characters do not have a sense as a defense mechanism. No matter what popular media says, harpoon's are not proper ninja weapons. When I have to pick a starting dementia, Stockholm syndrome is not appropriate.