 7 mind games the narcissist will play with you. Narcissists are expert manipulators. They know how to control and influence you. They know how to deceive you. They know how to make you believe something that is not true. They want to know what your vulnerabilities and weaknesses are so that they can exploit them so that they can use them to take advantage of you. They want to put you in a position where you are seeking validation from them because that is what will give them narcissistic supply. They don't care about how their behavior affects you or how it makes you feel. They just see it as though that's your problem. They don't take responsibility for their actions. But they will continue playing mind games with you. They are self-absorbed and they lack empathy. They only care about how they feel. So here are 7 mind games that the narcissist will use to elevate themselves at your expense. 1. They want you to open up to them. The narcissist is aware that you may have experienced abuse in your life, especially in childhood. That was one of the main reasons why they targeted you. They seek out people who are primed for their manipulation. They seek out people who have poor boundaries. People who don't have support and they try to convince you that they're not like everyone else. This time it's different. They're not going to hurt you and you should just open up to them so that they can show you there's someone you can trust. You should just be more communicative and confiding. You should be more present, available and accessible and they will do whatever it takes to get you to open up to them. They will show curiosity and concern for you. They will display a feeling of interest. They will try to excite your curiosity and attention. They will persuade you to undertake a course of action. They will act friendly towards you. They will ask you questions and try to learn more about you and you may think that maybe this time it is different. Maybe it's safe to be vulnerable with them so you open up and you tell them more about yourself. They ask you more questions and you reveal more information and in a healthy relationship that's what you should do but this is just one of the narcissist mind games. They want you to confide in them. They want you to reveal all of your secrets and personal information but they will never do the same for you. They cannot be vulnerable with you but they will want you to confide in them and when you do they will be taking mental notes. They will be recording information so that they can figure out what hurts you, what causes you pain and what your needs are. It helps them to create their game plan of how they're going to further manipulate and control you but they start off by being friendly and trustworthy. They make it seem like they're on your side. Two, they gain an advantage over you. Once the narcissist has convinced you that they're friendly and trustworthy and that they're on your side, they will begin criticising you. They will indicate your faults in a disapproving way. They will say that you should have done something a different way. They will always leave you down yourself. They will always make you feel like you're wrong and they're right and you need to listen to their advice. They have to display this attitude of superiority as though they know more than you or as though they do things better than you. They have inflated self-esteem which means they are characterized by an inability to listen to you or critique themselves. They tend to undervalue you and adopt hostile behaviours towards you. They believe that they are free from error. They believe that they are always right in an opinion or judgement and if you express a different opinion they feel no need to listen to you. They just expect you to listen to them because in their minds they have a greater point of view or attitude towards life than the average person. So you should listen to them, you should trust them, free. They will use fear to control you. They want you to fear them. They don't want you to feel safe. They want you to think that something bad might happen to you. Because that's what they're going to use to control you. That's what gives them the power to influence and direct your behaviour and the course of events. They will use criticism and strong emotion to make you afraid. If you ever question or confront them on something you do not approve of they will get very angry so that the next time you're too afraid to tell them anything it causes you to become very conscious of your movements until you just push your preferences aside. You forget about what you want and you just do what they tell you to do because you don't want to deal with all the difficulties and complications. If you try to express yourself or display your individuality around a narcissist it's going to create more problems than it solves so it causes you to act a responder of fear rather than how you would prefer to act a respond. You cannot be yourself around a narcissist. Four, they will sabotage you when you're getting to know the narcissist. They will try to isolate you. They will try to keep you all to themselves. They don't want you to have any support so they will go behind your back and talk about you in an unfavourable and uncomplimentary way even if someone tries to compliment you. They will downplay it and divert their attention to a fault or mistake that you have made. They don't want people to trust you because then that keeps them in the superior position which is why they have to sabotage you so that they can elevate themselves at your expense and now you have no one else that you can confide in. So it keeps them as your only source of validation. It makes it easier for them to control you. Five, they will target your flaws and imperfections. They will get you to open up to them. They will get you to confide in them until you decide to reveal secrets or personal information. You might tell them about a mistake you made many years ago and they will act understanding but they will later use it as ammunition against you. They will later use that mistake to define you. They will use it to make you lose your dignity and the respect of other people when they try to get you to confide in them. It's just another mind game. They will only take note of what you're saying so they can later use it against you. Six, they will play the victim role. They need to look like they are innocent of wrongdoing. They need to look like they're always trying to do the right thing and if they do make a fault or mistake they will always hold someone else responsible for it. They will just say that if you did your part it would never have happened. They will always find a way to blame you. Seven, they turn life into duty and obligation. They talk you in a way where everything is about requirements and obedience. And so you have to uphold a moral or legal obligation. And so you are morally or legally bound to do something. They will hold you to some imagined contract or agreement. And so you have to do something for them. And so you have to follow the rules and regulations. And of course they are the ones who write the rules. These are the mind games that the narcissist will play with you. Their mind games are designed to make you lose your individuality. They are designed to make you lose whatever is special or unique about you. They want you to be under their control where they can tell you what to be. They want to take you away from being who you naturally are or who you naturally would be if they didn't intervene. Don't react to the narcissist. Observe what they're saying or doing. But don't absorb it. Respond rather than reacting emotionally. They want you to fear them. They want you to be angry and upset. They want you to defend yourself so that they can point the finger at you. And see you as the problem. They focus on your reaction rather than anything they did to cause it. Don't play their game. Don't give them a reaction that they're looking for. But don't be afraid to confront them. Do not retreat or lose your advantage in the face of opposition. But don't enter pointless arguments with the narcissist. Don't get sucked into the rabbit hole. You can state your difference of opinion. But after that there should be nothing more to say. They want to confuse you. They want to make you doubt yourself. But now that you are aware of their games, you can choose to not be a part of them rather than supporting someone who doesn't even value their own rules. Thank you for watching. I hope this video resonated with you. Please like, comment, share, subscribe if you would like to donate. My PayPal link is in the video description. Couching inquiries. You can email me at couching.narksurvivor.uk. Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.