 Not allowed to use basic economics to crash the evil empire of the economy by spending all my swag there at once. Cannot take the moniker, the hyper-polisyllabic equipped delinist. The banana of disarming is not a real magic item. Cannot sharpen Ian's stones for increased headbutt damage. No use of my hideously low charisma to get the villain to the opposite of what I suggest. No need to stop using my reality-altering ability to make everyday Mardi Gras. I'm based my barbarian after a wink martindale. I throw punch to not give a bonus and a contested philosophy check. My Paladin mini is vetoed of his obviously private drake from aliens. Any planet vetoed of it was obviously inspired by Boromir. My info-gathering mission must include info that wasn't obviously obtained in a brothel. If almost all the words in my character's background start with the same letter, he's vetoed. Then told to leave a trail for the rest of the party to follow, they didn't mean with cigarette butts. Even if the rule would allow it, it can't seek a battleship with a stapler. I do not get a bulk discount on ninjas. Even if the rule would allow it, I can't invent the script joint. I cannot play a race the GM can't pronounce. I cannot start the game a post-apocalyptic Poland driving a Porsche. Warnings given retroactively in battle aren't appreciated. A fluffy tale does not add to my comeliness if I'm already one-foot-tall, furry, and a squirrel. I don't have to include the line, it didn't stab them a lot in the plan, it's already assumed. Even if my superpower is invisibility, I still have to provide a model for my character. Can't intentionally fail all my secret door checks so I don't have to play Tomb of Horrors again. If my character is related to a god, it can't be as apparent. The time machine is not for finishing my set of disciple autographs. No, there is not a Mr. of Arc. No, I still can't hit on her. My black ops experience does not include panty-raids and beer runs. Cannot singlehandedly make Starfleet Academy the number one party school in the Alpha Quadrant. Not legal to retroactively challenge anyone I just shot to a duel. Cannot take the flaw of obsession, elf chicks lingerie. No part of the plan includes, you give me the idol, I'll give you the whip. No matter how many call shots to the neck I make, I'm still not going to cause a cool pyrotechnics display. Not allowed to trade in my X-Wing for a gunstar. Cannot make a plan that hinges on the villain first being allergic to peanuts. My character's background cannot be a Wikipedia biography with Falco crossed off in my character's name written in. Adding hydraulics to my R2 unit does not give him an Intimidate bonus. No taking the party to Carrot Tour just because my character has a thing for Asian chicks. Will not color code everything on the ship just to piss off the Varger. Though highly educational, no more slipping the anti-paladin sodium pentothal. Cannot make the black ops super easy by sending a couple of strippers to the guard room first. I'm not allowed to give my character a name from a Bushman click language. Not possible to tap a keg from mana. Many chaotic, angry and neutral hungry aren't real alignments either. Even if the rule will allow it, can't take out an MBT with a shotgun loaded with slug. My second wish can't be for a new, more open-minded genie to grant my remaining wishes. Can't wish I was a GM. No making up holidays for my cleric. Can't just walk the obstacle course, even though I beat everyone who tried to run it. Holding a pillow over a sleeping person's face is not a no-wish expression of affection. There is not a spent clip fairy. A bag of holding is a bad place to stash bear traps, badgers, or crushed glass. If the party has to pose as classical German composers, I will not declare, I'll be balk. Can't take the spedum as my favorite weapon just because it sounds dirty. No encouraging Swedish accents. Even if the rules give no maximum incumbrance, still can't pick up the bank and walk away with it. There is a reason no game has pasties in a starting equipment list. The power armor skill does not have a cascade skill dance. I will not build a character with a skill from every single expansion book. Not allowed to take a toad for a familiar just before his pharmaceutical properties. Restricted to one blue chip for humor per game. Can't use the time machine to remain famous historical discoveries after myself. Not allowed to forge the 1.1 ring. Can't put points in before him just so he can hammer dance after each fatal critical hit. No slipping the juicer riddling. In the middle of a chase in a commandeered car can't spend an action to change the radio presets. I can't parry with a called shot to the face. No more crazy ivans while I'm driving the AT-AT. When challenged to a high noon shootout, that means in the time zone I'm currently in. Burning my barge song on CD and putting on repeat does not mean the effect never ends. Before turning on dead, make sure the assassin didn't take the vampire template. My mythos investigator doesn't talk into sleep. Mashed potatoes do not add to my damage resistance. Not allowed to base a paladin off Lee Marvin. My great axe privileges can be taken away. If I'm leveled up 5 times to the dragonkin 0, that doesn't mean I'm lapping him. My investigator's motto is not, 99% mythos lore, 1% sanity. Do not push me. Even if it was obviously in self defense, my character is not allowed to kill George Takei. Taekwondoberman is not a real martial arts skill. It is not possible to bioengineer a kosher pig. Even if we are in Ravenloft, paladin can't go up 10 levels in one night. When told I have to join the RPGA to play in a game, can't sign the membership card Dduck. My tribe's trial by combat ritual is not best described as Calvin ball with axes. My paladin's job is not to enforce happiness. The following are not acceptable iron claw characters. Mortal Wombat, Dolly Lama, Boomerangatang. Monks do not make three stooges sounds in combat. Even if the rules allow it, can't shoot 20 guys in one round with a musket. No, I can't keep the drought priestess if we just found her as a pet. Part of career modeling is not an appropriate use of the suggestion spell. You take the scary one is not our default battle strategy. Even if it's for his own safety, can't secretly remove the firing pins from the power gamer's guns. If I have access to warm water, I don't take watch unsupervised. Not allowed to give any birthday gift to a child that merely earns me a dark side point. Despite the movie's claims, wookies get no racial bonus for chess. Even building a superhero can't spend half his points on radar scents and the other half on cooking. Pregen characters do not have cutie nicknames, even if their real names are free lame. Improved division and not solid proof ducking cover works. In the middle of the black ops can't lock a bunch of long haired molting cats in the CEO's office. If in the middle of our dressing down our CEO strokes out, we took the joke too far. Not allowed to use guppies as buckshot. That hunt drought with a spotlight and a thirty-odd six.