 Ah, g'day mate, 40 here. So, I was just, what was I doing? Over the weekend, I was reading a book on Alexander Technique by Penelope Easton. And she mentions early on in the book how she recovered from chronic fatigue syndrome by something called mycal therapy. Why aren't I centered in this picture? Okay, so I never heard of mycal therapy and so I've struggled with chronic fatigue syndrome since I was 21. Basically Bedrin from age 21 to 27 with chronic fatigue syndrome. And it's kind of a weird thing that no one really knows what it is. So you certainly can't expect much sympathy and empathy for having chronic fatigue syndrome. So it's not something I talk about very much. And so I never heard of mycal therapy, M-I-C-K-E-L. So I looked it up and apparently you write down your symptoms so you might feel fatigue, you might feel blotto. So for example, before I did my stream with Doovid yesterday, I was just feeling really blah. So you write down your symptoms and then you write about what you're thinking, feeling and doing just prior to the symptoms and then you try to make different choices. And the developer of mycal therapy apparently has worked with thousands of people and he says that about 77% of them recover. So I'm incredibly intrigued. So I spent much of the weekend looking at mycal therapy. And there was one thing he said that particularly grabbed my attention and that was that his patients go from happy but sick to well and unhappy. So in other words, he pushes them to spend much more time and attention on what's negative in their life. So my inclination is to not spend time on what's negative and painful in my life and to simply focus on what's good in my life. And I think I need to spend more time paying attention to what's negative and painful in my life. So there are certain failures in my life and I don't think I wanna list them but heck, maybe I will. So I'm a bachelor and certainly as an orthodox Jew that's a major failure in my life. So bachelorhood, failure, right? And that's the outcome. But the ultimate cause of that, as many steps up the chain, something about my predispositions toward selfishness, maybe some antisocial tendencies, desire just to do my own thing, self-seeking, perhaps unwillingness to compromise for the sake of other people, not having paid sufficient attention to earning a good living so that I could support a family because I just so I wanted to do my own thing like live streaming. Perhaps it's a result of me having delusions about my abilities as a live streamer and so putting perhaps more time and emphasis on live streaming when I should have spent more time earning in more prosaic ways. So maybe living in delusion is a significant part of the reason why I'm a bachelor at age 55. So thinking I should spend more time facing up to what's painful and negative in my life, just writing it down. 55 years of age don't have a lot of money say for retirement, I don't know about $14,000 say for retirement. I'm currently, the last few years I've only been saving money at a rate of about $3,000 a year. So I've made some changes and now I'm at a pace of saving money at about $10,000 a year. So I think I'm gonna spend a little more time facing up to what's painful and negative in my life and just journaling about it not staying focused on it or my working waking hours but spending a little bit more time on, okay, there's a failure here, there's a failure here, there's a problem here, there's an aching, awning chasm here in my life. And let me just journal about it and let's just say that's the outcome and then keep going back to the deepest cause because things like bachelorhood, that's a symptom, right? That's a symptom of, I think generally selfish self-seeking life, poverty again, I think is a symptom of a selfish self-seeking life not being sufficiently interested in being a service to other people just wanting to do my own thing. And so I think I could probably trace back almost all my problems to a root cause of a selfishness and a self-seeking attitude and inflexibility in my interactions with other people. So I was very struck by David Mikkel, MD, stating that his chronic fatigue syndrome patients went from feeling happy but sick to feeling well but unhappy. So when they were sick, they would try to practice the power of positive thinking, which I'm sure has its places. I'm sure there's room for positive thinking and there are some benefits for it and I enjoy being a happy guy 95% plus at the time. I feel good about myself 99% of the time, but I think I need to spend more time journaling about what's negative, journaling about say symptoms of fatigue or headaches or sleeplessness or selfishness and journal about the symptoms that I'm feeling then journal about what I was thinking, feeling and doing just prior to these symptoms and then journaling about, okay, what are some different choices I could make? Cause like there may be perfectly nice people that after I finished talking with them, I just feel absolutely exhausted. So I may need to exercise better energy management. Like, okay, I notice that whenever I talk to this person, I get exhausted. Maybe I need to make a different choice or I tend when I'm struggling to just ignore things and just keep pushing, keep pushing, keep pushing and maybe when stress and problems and failures like build up, instead of push, push, push through them, I need to take some time out to pray about them, meditate about them or just cut myself a break and rest. And you recall when I had chronic fatigue syndrome, it was my severe and all of my life since age 21 even before that, whenever I was doing things that I loved, I always had more energy than when I was doing things that I didn't love. So of course, many of the things that I love are really bad for me, but there are some things that I love that are good for me. And so I know there are certain things that I do that make me feel alive and so I can spend more time doing things that I love that make me feel more alive, more energized and I can choose those moments of excited interest to investigate topics and books and essays rather than trying to push myself, to slog through a book or an essay but seize that moment of excited interest when I'm happy and enthused and yearning to tackle this particular book. So yeah, doing what I love, I notice tends to produce more happiness and more energy and just pushing, pushing, pushing myself. There's a place for that, but I just can't let, you know, that that's slogging build up because it does tend to build, build and build and build. So maybe I need to take a little more time out for the power of negative thinking just face up to what's painful in my life where I'm failing in my life and perhaps look at the symptoms of fatigue, just feeling blotto and trace back the causes. Like I notice often when I've been working for somebody else, say in a job that I find boring or just a slog that I often develop headaches and neck aches and back aches and shoulder aches then as soon as I walk out of the job, you know, I feel fine, I feel great. So I need to switch into a mindset where I'm approaching that sort of work, you know, much more positively. Like, okay, I'm here to be of service. This is a way for me to make money so that I can be an upstanding adult. You know, let's charge into this and do good work because this will also expand my earning opportunities because when I'm in that kind of slog mindset, this is just onerous duty. Then I develop all these like physical symptoms of, you know, headaches and back aches and shoulder aches. So I need to move into that, you know, excited, energized, let's be of service. Let's get things done. Let's, you know, move ahead with my life. Let's seize these adult opportunities.