 Lux presents Hollywood. The Lux Radio Theatre brings you Joan Bennett and Preston Foster in She Knew All the Answers with Eve Arden. Ladies and gentlemen, your producer, Mr. Cecil B. DeMille. Greetings from Hollywood, ladies and gentlemen. More than 2,500 years ago, the Greeks discovered that people could be entertained by something called a play, and has been going on ever since. Tonight's play is pure entertainment. It has no message to preach, no lesson to teach, only one reason for being, to make you enjoy yourselves. If we can do that and help you relax for just an hour between two working days, then we'll be glad we picked a sparkling comedy like She Knew All the Answers with the Lux Radio Theatre tonight. And to make a good thing better, we have two accomplished stars who have an enviable record of success on this stage. Joan Bennett and Preston Foster. She Knew All the Answers is adapted from a Columbia picture in which Miss Bennett was starred. And tonight she plays the same part for us. A chorus girl who goes to work in a broker's office for a very interesting reason. Preston Foster is the fortunate financier who learns some of the answers from her. If the lady in question knows all the answers, she must know that best of all answers to the problem of beauty care, Lux Toiletsville. And she'll be in very good company too, because so many millions of you know it. Denographers and screen stars, housewives and riveters all have the same natural desire to look their loveliest. And out here in Southern California at least, it's just about impossible to tell whether a girl is a screen extra or an aircraft worker from her looks. A glamour seems to be as abundant on the assembly line as on the soundstage. And there's no reason why it shouldn't be either. Because beauty is where you find it. And wherever you find it, you'll find Lux Toiletsville too. Now we find the curtain going up on Act One of She Knew All the Answers. Zarring Preston Foster as Mark Willows and Joan Bennett as Gloria Winters with Eve Arden as Kitty. On a lonely stretch of road leading out of New York, a long, sleek car roars through the black night. Somewhere along the road, the cordon of police is waiting, watching, strung across the strip of concrete like a huge net. As the car rounds a turn, the police stand like ghosts in the glare of the headlights. The car swerves and lunges toward them, then grinds to a stop. Hey, what is this? Get out of the way. Just a minute, bud. Your name Randy Bradford? Yes, it is. Who's the girl with you? Come on, sister. What's your name? I'm Gloria Winters. Oh, yeah? OK, Mac. We got him. Get out, bud. Listen, what's the matter? What is this? Somebody wants to speak to you on the telephone. Three minutes later, Randolph Bradford, the Darling of Café Society, is in a gas station speaking long distance. Now, listen, Mark, what's the idea of sinking those cops on us? Yeah? Well, since when is it a criminal offense for a guy in love to a look? Oh, is that so, Mr. Willows? Now, you listen to me. I'm going to marry Gloria Winters tonight and you and 20 like it can't stop me. Why, you haven't even seen her. How can you... What? Well, suppose I have known her only two months. Is that anything against her? Oh, it can't be love. Well, what do you think it is? What? She is not. No. No, she's not like that at all. No. No, she is not. Look, is that guy talking about me? Not quite, though. What's he saying? Something tells me I ought to smack him in the face. Oh, it's all right, dear. Hello? Now, look, Mark, the trouble with you is you've had that snooping nose of yours buried in Wall Street too long. Now, get this. We're getting married tonight and you can take a flying leap at the moon. Goodbye. What was that all about? Well, that graveyard at the other end was Mark Willows, my father's partner, executor of his will, and my noble guardian. What has that got to do with me? Well, it seems that there's a clause specifically stating that he, Willows, must approve my choice of a wife. And if he doesn't? Then I'll be disinherited. Well, that's ridiculous. I thought that kind of thing went out with a horse car. It did. But my father owned the last horse car in the country. Come on, let's go. Wait a minute. How much would you lose if you tell him to go to Gehenna? Oh, a few million, I guess. Maybe ten. Ten million dollars? Yeah. Are you folks ready to leave now? Yes, we are, officer. Good night. You and the boys are excused now, and thank you. Thank you, Mr. Bradford, but we still have orders. Now, look. The sergeant says to give you an escort back to town. But I don't want an escort. I don't need an escort. The sergeant says different. Let's go, huh? He can't get away with this. So he stopped us tonight. All right, there'll be other nights. He can't keep cops on my trail forever. Randy, I've been thinking. We've got to be sensible about this thing. There's too much involved. Listen, money doesn't bother me. It's just you, honey. But we've got to be practical, Randy. You can't brush off ten million dollars like it was dust on your sleeve. Oh, watch me. Good night, darling. Randy, wait. It's not myself I'm thinking of. I'm thinking of you. You were born with a silver spoon, darling. If anybody takes it away, you're going to cry. Look, don't be silly. What's money? Money isn't the most important thing in life. I know, but whatever's first, it runs a close second. You may even have to go to work, darling. That would be nice, wouldn't it? I work now, don't I? Bradford, Wharton, Ogle and Willows? I'm a second vice president. That's what I mean. What you start as, Randy? Fourth vice president. You see? Well, I'm working out. You've never worked a day in your life. Randy, I'd marry you if you didn't have a penny, but I'm not going to cheat you out of everything you've been used to. You do understand, don't you, dear? Well, what are we going to do? Well, we're going to say good night. And tomorrow morning, I'm going to have a talk with your Mr. Willow. Oh, you can't. He won't see you. I can try, can't I? It's no use, Gloria. The guy's a relic of the Stone Age. He wears pond snake glasses and white piping on his vest. He's a natrified money machine. Randy, look. What? All that stands between us is Willow's opinion of me, right? That's all. Well, I'm going to make him approve of me. Simple, isn't it? But, Gloria... Ever hear of a letter of recommendation? You mean one of those, uh, to whom it may concern things? That's it. Well, I'm going to get one signed by Mr. Willow's, and that letter is going to be our marriage license. Hello? Bradford, Wharton, Oglin, Willow's? Now, this is Benny. Miss Hollane on the board today. She's sick. Yeah, she had a repentic snatch. Uh-huh. Real sudden. But she'll be back in a month. Okay, so long. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. I, uh... I'd like to see Mr. Willow, please. Ah, you would, huh? Uh, you applying for the switchboard job? The switchboard? Oh, oh, yes, yes, I am. That's fine. Hope you get it. Oh, thank you. Is that Mr. Willow's office over there? That's it, sister. Thanks. Yeah, but you're going to see Mr. Rogel. He's over there, third door. Well, I'd rather see Mr. Willow. Yeah, well, that's not the point, sister. Mr. Rogel does all the hiring around here. Oh, I see. Yeah, but don't worry. He'll hire you. Thanks. Right over here. Yeah, the third door. Ain't no the third door. Hey, that's Willow's office. Wait a minute. Don't go in there. Hey! The new issue of preferred will carry a conversion privilege. Comma. Excuse me, I... One moment, please. I'm dictating. You have that, Miss Crouch? The new issue of preferred will carry a conversion privilege. Comma. Conversion privilege. Comma. Uh... What do you want in here, young lady? Excuse me, I... I guess I've made a mistake. I thought this was Mr. Willow's office. I am Mr. Willow's. But I... I'm at Mr. Willow's senior. I'm the only Mr. Willow's in this firm. Oh, are you sure? Yes, I'm quite sure. Well, this is a surprise. You're not at all what I expected. And just what did you expect? Oh, Willow's and Wall Street sort of suggested a long grey beard or something. Young lady, would you mind explaining who you are and what you want? I, uh... I came about the switchboard job. Oh, well, Mr. Ogill is in charge of personnel. Where was I, Miss Crouch? We'll carry a conversion privilege. Comma. Oh, please, Mr. Willow's personnel managers are so... unimaginative. They're only interested in references. Well, naturally. So am I. We never hire anyone without references. We wouldn't think of it. Oh, you wouldn't? Certainly not. Oh, dear. Now what will I do? You see, Mr. Willow's, I... I haven't any references. I've never worked in an office before. You haven't? No, never. Well, I'm sorry, but we never hire beginners. You don't? Of course not. We wouldn't think of it. You wouldn't? Certainly not. Oh, dear. Now what am I going to do? It seems to me we've said this before. Oh, I'm sorry. Other firms may not have the same rules. We have. Why don't you try elsewhere? Yes, I suppose I should, but I had my heart set on working here. Really? Why? Oh, well, it's such an impressive-looking place. So substantial and old-fashioned. I like old-fashioned things, don't you, Mr. Willow's? Yes, very much. Then that gives us something in common, doesn't it? Well, yes. Yes, it does. Yes, sir. We'll carry a conversion privilege. Come on. Yes, Miss Crouch. Young lady, I'm afraid... Oh, please, Mr. Willow's. I'm sure I'll be quite satisfactory. People have told me I have a very soothing telephone voice. Now all I mean is something to a firm like this. Listen, good morning. Bradford-Warton, Oglen-Willow's. Oh, yes, we have some lovely investments today. See? Well, if Mr. Oglesy's fit to employ you without a reference... How could I need this job so badly, Mr. Willow's? Not only for myself. You see, I have an embolished sister. Oh, please now. Please, this won't get you anywhere. Miss Crouch, don't sit there. Do something. What would you suggest? Young lady, I will not be intimidated. Stop that crying. Oh, Mr. Willow. This isn't a firm of a job anywhere. You know, it's only for a month. Oh, thank you, Mr. Willow's. A month's work would mean so much to me. Now wait a minute. I didn't say... I did not say you have the job. Oh, then I can't find my poor sister the wheelchair. Oh, please, please. Don't cry anymore. All right. You can have the job. It's yours. You start today. Now go and start right now. Oh, thank you. Run along. I'll inform Mr. Oglen. What's your name? Long, Catherine Long. Miss Long. I don't have any, Miss Long. He'll show you what to do. Oh, how can I ever thank you? No, no, no. Never mind that. Good morning, Miss Long. Yes, Mr. Willow's. Well, Miss Crouch, I think I handled that situation very well, don't you? After all, she did need the job, didn't she? And she does have a nice telephone voice, doesn't she? We'll carry a conversion privilege. Common. Now, it's very simple, see? Every time you see a light on the switchboard, you just punch it out. See? Yes, of course. It's easy, isn't it? Sure. Now, these are the jacks. The outside ones are for inside calls. And over here is the inter-office communication system. Do you understand? Oh, I understand perfectly. There's just one little thing. Yeah? What? What are all these plugs and wires for? Aw. Hello? Hello, Kitty? Hello? Hello, Kitty. Is that you? Who is it? Kitty, this is Gloria. Oh! Now, listen, our plans went haywire. I'm at Bradford Wharton Overland Willows on Wall Street. What? No, I'm working here, Kitty. I got the job this morning. Working on your honeymoon? What do they think of next? But, Kitty, I'm not married. Then what are you doing on a honeymoon? I'm not on a honeymoon. I'll tell you all about it when I get home. And listen, if Randy calls, tell him to be at the apartment at six o'clock. Okay. And listen, if you have to call me here, my name is Katherine Long. No, darling, my name is Katherine Long. I know it. So is mine. No, darling, your name is Gloria. Kitty, please. Down here, I'm Katherine Long from now on. Don't you see? Oh, yeah. Sure. Hey, listen. What? It's six o'clock, Kitty. That's what she told me. Well, where is she? Look, all I know is that she's working at Wharton Wharton Wharton and Ogle, and her name is Katherine Long. If you can make anything out of that, you're welcome to it. Oh, it's ridiculous. Well, it's certainly a new wrinkle. The girl starts out for the altar and winds up running a switchboard. That's all her idea. She wants to make Willows like her so we can be married. I thought all you needed for that was a license and a soft head. I don't like her being there at all. It won't work. I sleep days, she sleeps nights. I think we ought to see a lawyer about this. Oh, here she is. Well, hello, Gloria. Hello. What's the matter with you? Oh, I'm exhausted. Gee, you look like the stock exchange fell on you. Now, listen, Gloria. Please, don't shout. You'll wake me up. Here, sit down. Listen, honey, letter of recommendation or no letter of recommendation. I won't lie to you working in that office with Willows. Yes, Mr. Willows. Number three. Oh, come on, honey, snap out of it. What you need is soft light, soft music. What I need is a soft bed. Good night. Now, wait a minute. I came over here to take you out. What am I going to do with myself? I'm a growing boy. I need fun. Oh, come on, Gloria. Don't go to sleep. Gloria, wake up. Oh, let her alone, Randy. Look, shitty, I told you this wouldn't work. She's asleep. I'm awake. I don't like it. Bradford, Wharton, Ogland, Willows. Oh! Good morning. Morning, Mr. Wharton. Good morning. Good morning, Mr. Wharton. Morning. Oh, Wharton, Wharton, Ogland. I mean, Wharton, Ogle, Ogle, and... Hello? Hello? Good morning. Good morning. Would you open the gate, please? Whom do you wish to see, please? I don't wish to see anyone. I'm Mr. Wharton. Well, I'll have to announce you. I don't think it's necessary. My name is Wharton. I don't care what your name is. If you... Hello? Wharton, Wharton, Ogle, and... Oh! Oh! You're Mr. Wharton. Not exactly a secret. I told you twice. I'm sorry. How will you open this gate, or do I have to vault over it? I'm sorry, Mr. Wharton. Please, come in. Come in. Thank you very much. What department were you transferred from? No department. Well, I'll see that you're transferred back. Send my mail in. Good morning, Mr. Willows. Good morning. Good morning, Mr. Willows. Good morning. Mr. Willows. Miss Long. Yes, sir? Miss Long. Yesterday, just before five o'clock, you let a man into my office and had an appointment. Oh, yes, I remember. Have you any idea what he wanted? Oh, yes, he wanted to send you something. I told him I wasn't sure if he wanted to buy anything, but he seemed willing to take a chance. Oh, he did. Miss Long, just for your information, that gentleman wanted $50,000 for his model of a better mousetrap. Oh, was that it? He wouldn't tell me. Will you please let anyone in without an appointment? Yes, sir. Call the barbershop, please. Tell him I'll be there at 11 sharp. Yes, sir. Good morning. Oh, Mr. Willows, was it better? Was what better? The mousetrap. Was it as good as...? Call the barbershop. Barbershop. Barbershop. Yes, sir. Morning, Mark. Hello, Wharton. I've just been looking at our new yakky oil issue. Up three points on a strong market and going fast. Good. At that rate, we ought to clean up if something doesn't go wrong. Don't worry. Hello? Oh, Mr. Willows, your tailor is on the phone. He'd like to know whether you would like blue or black buttons on your search. May I suggest blue? No, you may not. But blue is so much not. Black. Black. Yes, sir. What did my barber say? What barber? What did he say about my appointment? Oh, I forgot. Well, call him. Call him. Listen, Mark, what numbskull hired that new operator? I did. You were the numbskull? I mean, you did? Yes. But why? Well, she had a nice telephone voice. Oh, has she? I didn't know that. I had to jump down my throat. I was only trying to be polite. Hello, barbershop. Hello, barbershop. Mr. Willows will be there at 11 sharp. Okay. Hey, wait a minute. What kind of wool is Mr. Willows here today, huh? Mood? What do you mean, mood? You don't know. Is he a bulge or is he a bearish? Look, the Willows is definitely bearish. Hey, no fool. Is he bearish? Yes, he's bearish, the old crab. Listen, Willows is a bearish. I just got him straight. I hear Mr. Willows is bearish. Bearish. Oh, you know what that means. Willows is bearish. Willows himself? He's been buying that new issue of oil. And now he's bearish. I'm going to sell my yakky oil. Sell my yakky oil. Sell my yakky oil, please. Sell yakky. Sell, sell, sell. Sell, sell, sell. Sell, sell. Sell. Sell. I can't imagine what started it. There's no rhyme or reason for such a break. Listen, Willows, we'd better sell, too. No, this is our issue. Buy all you can. Stop the run. But we'll go broke. We'll have to risk it. What is it now, Wharton? Down to 62. Buy it. Buy it. Hello? Willows speaking? J.L.? Listen, J.L., have you any idea how this thing got started? What? Who my barber? How would my barber know that? Wait a minute. Get Miss Long in here. Yes, sir. Listen, J.L., I'll call you back. I can't talk now. No, no, no. I'm buying, buying. Mr. Willows, did you want to see me? Yes, I did. Miss Long, what did you tell the barber when you made my appointment? Just that you were coming down to the leaven shop. Did you by any chance tell him that I was buried? Yes, I think I did, but you will awfully cross. Is that all the word buried means to you? It means something else? Miss Long, in the language of Wall Street, buried means selling. It does? And because you told the barber that I was buried, this firm stands to lose a fortune. All because of one silly, tiny little word. But it's not a silly, tiny little word. It's a stupendous word. It's possibly the most important word in the dictionary and the most dangerous. You needn't shout so, Mr. Willows. I'm not shouting. Oh, what's the use? What is it now, Wharton? Stop two points. Two points? Wait till I look at the chart. Mr. Willows, I've just had an idea. Have you really? Get out, please. If selling means buried, what does buying mean? Stop the 58, Mark. 58. Well, don't you want to tell me? Miss Long, if you don't mind, please. Not a secret, is it? What does buying mean? Oh, tell her, Mark, and throw it out. Yes, tell me. Buying means foolish. Selling means bearish. Bears sell both buys. Oh, well, if you've all lost so much money being bears, why didn't you change the bull? Miss Long. Well, I'm only trying to be helpful. We've had enough of your help. It's ruinous. I'll get your hat and coat and go home. You're fired. In just a few minutes, Joan Bennett, Preston Foster, and Eve Arden will return in act two of She Knew All the Answers. Whenever we want advice on any special matter, we're likely to go to the person who knows all about it. Isn't that so? For instance... Guess I'll ask Mary the best way to make over this dress. She does all her own sewing. Or perhaps... Jim knows everything about photography. He'll tell me what film to get for these indoor shots. Now, when it comes to the important matter of complexion care, isn't it just as logical to seek advice from Hollywood? For screen stars, of course, must have a beauty care that works. They can't take chances with complexion beauty. Their skin must be smooth, radiantly fresh, ready at all times for the camera close-ups. And that's why 9 out of 10 famous stars use Luxe Toilet soap. It's a real beauty soap. Gives their skin gentle, cherishing care it must have. And here's the Luxe soap Active Lather Facials screen stars use for their million-dollar complexions. You smooth Luxe Toilet soap's creamy lather well-in, rinse with warm water and splash with cold. Then you pat dry with a soft towel. Now when you touch your skin, it's soft and velvety smooth. Luxe Toilet soap, you see, has Active Lather that removes stale cosmetics, every trace of dust and dirt, rich, abundant lather that feels light as a caress on your skin. Screen stars say it's like smoothing beauty in to use this creamy Luxe Toilet soap lather. Why not take a tip from the world's beauty capital, Hollywood. Try Luxe Toilet soap Active Lather Facials for just 30 days. Then look in your mirror, see if you aren't delighted with the new radiance this gentle care will give your skin. Now, our producer, Mr. DeMille. Act two, if she knew all the answers, starring Preston Foster as Mark Willows and Joan Bennett as Gloria Winters with Eve Arton as Kitty. Gloria has been fired for starting a landslide in the stock market, but the ways of stocks are strained. Suddenly, without reason, the selling stops and the price begins to rise. Buy, Yacky Oil. Buy, Yacky Oil. Buy, Yacky Oil. Buy, Yacky Oil. Buy, Yacky Oil. Buy, Yacky Oil. Buy, Yacky Oil. Buy, Yacky Oil. Buy, Yacky Oil. Buy, Yacky Oil. The firm of Bradford, Wharton, Ogle and Willows stands to make a fortune on the deal. But Gloria, at home with Kitty, knows only that she has been fired. Then what did you say? I said, I'm only trying to be helpful, Mr. Willows. And then he said, we've had enough of your help. You're fired. Then what happened? I was fired. And all because of one silly little word. I don't get it. Look, it's all so simple. What is? Well, if they lost all their money being bears, why didn't they turn around and be bulls? Oh, Kitty, shut up. That's what got me fired. That must be Randy. Kitty, will you see how the dinner's coming along? Okay, but I still don't get it. Coming! Oh! Good evening, Miss Long. Oh! Good evening, Mr. Willows. I didn't expect... May I come in? Oh, yes, of course. Thank you. I, uh... I came to apologize for my very discourteous behavior today. Oh, you did? Yes, I was unforgivably rude. Yes, you were. I, uh, here, I brought some flowers for your sister. My sister? Yes, the invalid. Oh, that sister? Oh, yes, thank you. How was she? Oh, she, she's getting along beautifully. Good. Miss Long, I get terribly excited whenever the stock market acts up. I hope you'll overlook in the future. The future? Yes, I want you to come back to work. That's what I came to tell you. Oh, oh, I'm so glad, Mr. Willows. It's quite all right. Well, I'll be there bright and early in the morning. I'll be there at nine o'clock. Fine, fine. Uh, good night. Good night, and thanks again. The dinner's doing okay. Well, hello. Sister, dear. Huh? Sister. Who? Oh, sister, you shouldn't be in here. What's the matter with you? No, you're not supposed to walk yet. Who isn't? Let go of me. What are you doing? Oh, oh, you'll fall. I know you'll fall. Will you stop wrestling me? Now, let go. Oh, sit down, dear. Sit down. Now, cut it out. Well, yeah, this is no time to... I knew this. I knew you'd fall. You put a half-nelson on me. Now, what's going on here? Speak to me. Speak to me. I'll speak to you all right. Yeah, here, here. Let me help you. Now, don't be fighting. Just give me your hand. Well, who are you? This is Mr. Willows, dear. He just gave me back my job. Oh. Oh. And this is my sister, my sister Lola. How do you do, Lola? Uh, how do you do, Lola? Your sister has told me all about you, Lola. I can't tell you how sorry I am. Just what is your trouble? My trouble. Uh-huh. With your legs. Now, wait a minute. Oh, Lola, please. She's very sensitive, Mr. Willows. Oh, I'm sorry. You see, she's been an invalid for such a long time. Haven't you, Lola? Oh, yes. Yes, I can't even remember when it started. Lola. Just what is it? Well, it's, uh, my... Nervous. Muscular condition. That's it. Yes, it's nervous. Muscular. Nervous, muscular. Something new. Well, that's too bad. Lola, I don't know what I'm going to do with you. You know the doctor told you not to try to walk yet. I'll get you that wheelchair tomorrow. Oh, thank you, dear, a wheelchair. Just what I've always wanted. This long, I think that's the wrong psychology. I mean discouraging your sister from walking. Well, you just saw her fall. Oh, that's all right, even if she falls a dozen times. Oh, it is. It's still better than not trying to walk at all. You see, Lola, it's all in the mind. You've got to overcome the mental hazard. You must abolish all sense of fear. She's saying, I can do it, I can do it, I will do it. I can do it. Here, I'll demonstrate what I mean. Oh, Mr. Willows, we wouldn't think of bothering you. No, really. I don't mind not walking. I mean, I'm used to it. It's no trouble. It's no trouble at all. I'm glad to do it. Now, first, you plant your feet firmly on the floor. Uh-huh. And walk over to me. You're strong, you know. You're very strong, Lola. You can walk this far if you try. Well, I... Now, come on, Lola, come on. No. Come on, come on, Lola. Oh, go on, dear, try. I don't want to hurt myself. You mustn't do it. You can do it. Now, plant your feet firmly on the floor and take the first step like this. Uh-huh. Remember, small but firm steps and keep saying to yourself, I can do it, I will do it, I will. Now, come on. Well, all right. But if I land on my purse, I mean, if I trip, I'm glad to be in. You won't trip. Come on, that's it. Now, another one and another. Lola, you're walking. You're walking. Golly. That's it, that's it, tiny step. Oh, Lola, I think that's enough. I don't want to tire myself the first day. Sit down, dear, sit down. Thank you, dear. You see, it's all in the mind, Lola. Now, you just practice that every night for 10 minutes before going to bed. Oh, I will and thank you. Well, I guess I'd better run along. Good night, Lola. Good night. Oh, by the way, Miss Long, I should have told you that little mix-up at the office today didn't turn out quite as disastrously as I feared it might. Really? No, and in fact, we all made quite a little bit of money. How did that happen? Well, we changed from bears to bulls. Bradford, Wharton, Nogwin, Willow. Just a moment. Go ahead, please. I'm certainly glad you got your job back, Miss Long. Thank you, Benny. It's all mine. You know, working here with you sort of does something to me. Really? Yeah, sort of inspires me. Benny, are you making love to me? Sure. How's about a date sometime, huh? You know, just you and me. Nice and quiet, huh? What do you say? Well, thanks, Benny. You're very kind, but... Yes, Miss Long? I'm sorry. I forgot to tell you. Mr. Willows wanted to see you as soon as you came in. Thank you. Don't forget that date, Miss Long. Mr. Willows? Come in, please. Good morning, Miss Long. Good morning. And how is your sister this morning? Oh, she's fine, thanks. Did she practice walking 10 minutes before going to bed? Oh, she practically danced all night. Well, you must warn her not to overdo it. Just tell her to take it easy. I'm not the least that worried about her, Mr. Willows. That's the spirit. You know, you're a rather remarkable girl. Am I? Definitely. I'm so glad you think so. It's very important to me. Uh, well, um... What I really wanted to see you about is this. I should have thought of it last night. It was stupid of me not to. Well, here it is, in this envelope. Go ahead, open it. What is it? Just a little something in recognition of your services. You see? Are these... Are these stocks? That's right. 10 shares of yakky oil. A sort of bonus. I can't accept it, really. Why not? Oh, no, I couldn't think of it. But you accepted the gifts of the other directors? Mr. Wharton told me that he sent you a meat coat. Yes, he did, but you see... Then why can't you take this? Well... Ah, there you are, Miss Long. Good morning, Mr. Wharton. Excuse me, Mark. Miss Long, you shouldn't have sent this coat back. I want you to have it. I'm sorry, Mr. Wharton. All I want when I leave here is a letter of recommendation from Mr. Willow. What's this talk about leaving? Consider yourself a fixture here. When our regular operator returns, we'll find another spot for you. Won't we, Mark? Yes, of course. Yeah, that's settled. Now you can take the coat. No, I'm sorry. I can't. You can't? No, I can't. Oh, struples, huh? Well, we'll have to make it up to you some other way. Huh, Mark? As for this coat, I think I know somebody who'll want it, an old aunt in Cincinnati. Well, good morning. Good morning. Oh, by the way, Miss Long, I've been meaning to ask you. Haven't I seen you someplace before? Oh, no, at least I don't think so. Well, it's very strange, but I have a feeling I've met you. Oh, no, I'm quite sure I'd remember it, Mr. Wharton. Well, so would I. I pride myself in my memory. I never forget a figure. I mean a face. Good morning. I can understand you're refusing that coat, and I'm glad you did, but my gift was quite impersonal. Oh, Mr. Willows, you've taken off your glasses. Well, yes, I often do. Oh, you look so much better without them. Really? Oh, yes. Must you wear them? Oh, of course. I have hypermetropia. Oh, hypermetropia. It's a condition where the focus falls behind the retina. Well, did you ever try eye exercises? They cured me. I used to wear glasses. You did? Can you see just as well without them? Oh, better. But that's astonishing. No, it isn't. The muscles of the eye respond to exercise just like any other muscles. Would you like me to show you one? Oh, thank you. Oh, they're very simple. Look, did you ever write with your nose? Did I ever what? Bend over and stick your nose on the desk. Oh, no, no, no. Go ahead. Pretend your nose is a pencil, but with it, go on. Go on. Well, what do you suggest I write? Oh, anything. Yacky oil. Well, I'll try. Capital Y-A-Q-U-I. Dot the I. O-I-L. Say, Mark, I just wanted to... What in thunder are you doing? Oh, I... I was just writing with my nose. Oh, is that better than a pencil? What do you want to see me about? Nothing. Come back when you're not so busy. He evidently has the wrong impression. And I evidently better get back to work. Oh, wait. Miss Long, I was wondering. Perhaps some time, I mean, perhaps this evening, in fact, you and I could... Well, what I'm getting at is... You mean you'd like to make a date with me? Yes, exactly. Well, Mr. Willow. Now, here's another exercise for the eyes. How many spoons do you see? I won, of course. All right. Now, you raise the spoon like this, and you bring it towards you slowly, and you should... Miss Long, you have very nice eyes. What? Your eyes. They're quite lovely. You should be watching the spoons, not my eyes. Here, now, bring the spoon towards you slowly. You know, that's the first time I ever said that. Said what? That a girl had nice eyes. Oh, you ought to make a habit of it, Mr. Willows. Every girl likes to be told that, and you never know where it'll lead you. Yes, so I understand. But you see, I've never had much time for that sort of thing. I've always been too busy. Always? Yes. That is... So now, Miss Long, I... Well, well, well, how are you, Mark? Oh, good evening, Randy. I certainly never expected to see you in a place like this, and with such a charming companion, too. Well, well, well, how do you do? This is Miss Long, Mr. Brantford. Hiya. How do you do? Well, well, well... Miss Long is my niece from Boston. Oh, your niece from Boston? Well, well, well... Will you please stop saying that? Oh, sure, sure. Sorry if I embarrassed you, Mark. Oh, Mr. Willows. Yes? I beg your pardon, Mr. Willows. You want it on the telephone. Oh, will you excuse me, Captain? I'll be right back. Go right ahead, Mark, old boy. Go right ahead. Randy. Chisler. How did you know that we were here, Randy? I called Kitty, and she said you were out with him. There are only three places Mark Willows will take a girl. The aquarium, Grant's tomb, and this old lady's home. It's the idea of going out with that guy. Well, I have to be nice to him. I want that letter of recommendation. You don't have to be this nice. Look, honey, let's call this off. You're in solid. You've got Willows and the whole board of directors practically eating out of your hand. Get the letter tomorrow. No, I don't know. Let's not spoil everything by rushing matters. Maybe in a month or two. A month or two? Listen, I'm going out of my mind waiting for you. I don't know what to do with myself, nice. I'm beginning to hear strange voices. I feel people who aren't there tapping me on the shoulder. Randy, you've got to be patient. Hello? Hello, is this Mr. Mark Willows? Yes, who is it? Telegram, sir. Will you read it to me, please? Yes, sir. Mr. Willows, my oh my, you're a playboy on the slide. What? Holding hands and making eyes, where did you get that exercise? Now listen. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, Willows is a Romeo. Wall Street man acting coy, trying to be a glamor boy. That's all. Thank you. Who said it? It's signed to Randy. Randy, I see. Thank you very much. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. What's the joke, Randy? Wait until you see the face on that Wall Street genius when he gets back from the telephone. You didn't have anything to do with that phone call, did you? Who, me? Randy. There he is. No, I had no idea that Boston could be so interested. Tell me more. I'm terribly sorry, but we'll have to forget about the theater, Miss Long. Was anything wrong? Oh, no. Well, that's not how you look. Something must have happened. Well, nothing that I wasn't expecting. Conditions being what they are. Was it serious? Well, yes. I'm afraid it might mean the end of Bradford, Wharton, Ogland, Willows. What? I'll have to leave. I've got to round up the members of the board. Hey, listen, what is this? I don't think you would understand, Randy. Look, if it concerns the firm, I have a right to know. My father built that firm. I wish your father were here right now. It'd be useful in a crisis like this. Crisis? Look, Mark, if this is serious, I want to help. Mr. Bradford looks like a capable young man. I think you should let him help you with your problems. Sure, come on. Tell me the truth. I can take it. All right. It's South America. Well, what's South America? Someone's trying to undermine our investments there. Very heavy investments. We've got to act quickly. Well, what can I do to help? Well, I... Hello, Mr. Willows. I've never seen anyone so anxious to cooperate. Randy, I want you to go to the office and hold down the fort. I'm expecting a very important call on my private wire from our agents in Buenos Aires. Take down every word. Can you do it? Sure, I can. I really should do it myself. But I've got to round up Wharton and the others. And I'll join you. Okay. Here are the keys to the office. I'll grab a cab and get right down there. Thanks, Randy. So long. I'll see you later. Oh, listen, Mark, if you get a telephone call, forget it. What do you mean? Oh, I had a fixed plan yet. You and your practical jokes. You know, Randy, someday you'll try one on the wrong person that is going to boomerang. Not on me. Good night. Good night, Randy. Well, what happens now? Are you going to drop me at my place? Oh, no, not yet. Now, let's see if we... Here we are, folks. The bus leaves for Coney Island in two minutes. Coney Island. You know, I haven't been to Coney Island since I was a kid. Neither have I. Step right in, folks. Get your round trip ticket to heaven and back. What do you say? What do you say? Would you like to go miss Long? Oh, but you can't. What about when is I? When is I? When is I? When is I? When is I? When is I? When is I? When is I? When is I? When is I? Oh, that's a wonderful place. I spent a month there once. Come on, let's go. Did you see that? I got a cigar. Oh, you were wonderful. Are you having a good time? What are you? Well... But I really didn't want to call Randy. He's still waiting. Then that's right. I forgot all about it. Hello? Yes? Yes, yes. Of course I'm still here. No, no, they haven't called yet. Okay, I'll stick by the phone. Say, where are you? I hear music. What? You rounded up who? Oh, you found Wharton. Then you'll be coming right down to the office, won't you? Oh, oh, I see. You'll have to find five more. Okay, so long. It certainly sounded like music to me. And here we are, folks, the Tunnel of Love. Give your girl a break, Mr. Drift, and team while you're glad with your sweetie by your side. How's about it? How's the mind? This long? Do you like boats? Yes, I like boats. Well, would you like to take a boat ride? You mean through the Tunnel of...through the Tunnel? Yes, I think it's safe. Well, I mean those boats look sturdy, and if you like boats, and we're here, well... All right, why not? True, please. You certainly managed to keep this place dark, don't they? Yes, they do. I can't see a thing. I think that's the idea. Yes, yes, I suppose the darker it is. Well, the better you can see the pictures and things that you've asked. Well, that's part of it. Oh, am I too close to you? Oh, no. Well, you just let me know. Yes, I will. You know, I like the dark once in a while. It's sort of restful, isn't it? This is the brain inside he's calling. Who is this speaking? Oh, Saint-Yorke Bradford. I hope I do not keep the gentleman awake, yes? The message? Oh, yes, the message. And listen, Saint-Yorke. Saint-Yorke Bradford all alone waiting by a telephone, waiting all the whole night long just to listen to this song. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Yeah. Pawn wasn't it? Ha, ha. Coney Island. Hurry, hurry, hurry. Paradise with a hot dog. Well, here's where I live. Oh. Good night, Mr. Billow. Well, Miss Long. Yes? Well, you have dinner again with me sometime. Maybe sometime. Soon? No, perhaps. Tomorrow night? I don't know. Oh, you have another engagement. No, I promise my sister that I'd stay home tomorrow. Oh, well, some other night? You'll see. You know, I have a confession to make. Yes? While we were in that tunnel, I came very close to, well, I had a sudden impulse to reach over and hold your hand. Oh, you don't get those impulses often, do you? No, never. That is, never before. I had quite a time conquering it. Good night, Mr. Billow. Good night. You can get a cab at the corner. Oh, I don't want a cab. I'm going to walk home. Oh, but you live so far away and it's late. Oh, it's not far. It's early. I mean, it's not early. Well, I'm a little mixed up. Good night, Mr. Billow. Good night, Miss Long. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. We pause now for station identification. This is the Columbia Broadcasting System. After a brief intermission, Mr. DeMille presents John Bennett, Preston Foster, and Eve Arden in Act 3 of She Knew All the Answers. Jim. Yes, Mary? I just said goodbye to young Bob Martin. He looked wonderful in his uniform. You know, seeing him made me wish something. Well, dear? I wish there was something more I could do to help. To help boys like that come back safe and clean. There is something more you can do for that boy, Mrs. America. Something you can do right in your own home. Something that's vital, important. You can save every single spoonful of waste fats in your kitchen and turn it over to your government. That fat you may think is only waste is more precious than gold. It contains glycerin, a basic element essential to make the powder for our fighting weapons. Every time you pour fat or oil down the sink or throw it away, your wasting, vital munitions material our fighting men must have. No amount is too small to save. As little as a tablespoon full a day will add to approximately a pound per month. And if every housewife in America saved and turned in only one pound of waste kitchen fats and greases every month, it would make 540 million pounds of smokers powder each year. Now, your government doesn't want you to turn in fat you can use in cooking or for food, only waste fats are wanted. Such as grease skin from stew or soup, drippings from roasting cans, used lard and vegetable shortening. Here's what you do. Strain waste fats and greases into a can, any clean smooth-edged can. Don't use glass or paper containers, they'll break your leak. And the cans you use will be salvaged for metals later. Keep the can of fat in a cool place. When full, take to your local meat dealer, preferably early in the week when he's less busy, and he will pay you up to 4 cents a pound for the fat. In less than 21 days the salvaged grease you turn in will be on its way to being turned into the vital materials of war. So remember, every single spoonful is needed and is precious. Here's a way you can help Mrs. America, a very real and practical way you can help the boys who are giving everything for us. Now, Mr. DeMille returns to the microphone. We'll have some personal questions for our stars right after the play. But now here are Preston Foster, Joan Bennett and Eve Arden. In the third act, if she knew all the answers. Well, you had a good time when she was out. Well, you had a good time when she was out tossing about sleeplessly. For Miss Willow's guys, you getting too happy over? You certainly act like it. What about Randy? That's a nice deal you're cooking up. Working in Willow's office to get a letter of recommendation so you can marry Randy and then fall into the balls. Oh, you're not? For if you can't kid me, I'm your conscience warrior. I know all, feel, and tell, and I happen to know that you're free over Willow's. Shut up, shut up. Now listen, what's the idea of talking to yourself at three o'clock in the morning? I need my sleep. I'm sorry, I guess I was dreaming. Well, turn over and take your knees out of my back. Don't forget I'm a cripple. Kitty, listen, can a girl be in love with one man and meet another and be in love with him too? Well, I can. I can fall in love with half a dozen at a time, juggle them for months without once letting them fall on their heads. That's how I got married three times. But then I'm a genius, you're not. You're the type that's got to have just one guy for life. Think so? I know so, and I'll go to sleep. Good night. Good night. She's right, you know. When you're getting Gory Gloria, you take it from me. Just a minute, Randy, would you mind repeating that? Not at all. I came down this morning for a job. J-O-B. I want to work. Are you serious? Certainly. You gave your, uh, your niece a job, didn't you? Well, I'm settling down. I'm done with the probability. From now on, I'm going to work. Just what brought on this momentous decision? Love. Love? Uh, love of achievement. Last night, I went to bed at Playboy. This morning, I rise an empire builder. There's something behind all this? What is it? Nothing, just ambition. But you know nothing about business. Well, I'm bright, I catch on quick. So you sound as though you don't want me around here. Are you hiding something? Certainly not. Well, then let's get going. Very well. Since you're so inexperienced, I think you better start in one of our branch offices. Now, let's see. We, uh, we have a very fine opening in our office in Venezuela. Oh, no. Oh, no. I'm staying right here where I can watch you, Mark. I can learn a lot from you. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. This is Bradford. Bradford, Wharton, Ogles, and Willows. Oh, hello, J.L. And what's on your mind? A kind of a mood of mind today? Well, just between you and me, I have a little hangover. So long, J.L. How's it going, Randy? Oh, fine, fine, fine, fine. I'm going to enjoy this, Mark. Just speaking to J.L. You were? Yeah. Hey, who is he? Just the biggest operator in the street. That's all. Oh, you don't say. Oh, a nice fellow, too. Look, Randy, I want you to feel that I'm here to help you in any way I can. Oh, thanks, Mark. Not at all. Randy, if, uh, if you wanted to invest some money, if you wanted to buy some stocks or bonds, I'm sure you would come to me for advice. I'm sure I would. Why? Well, for that reason, I feel you're the logical one to consult for the particular advice and guidance I need. What's your problem? Well, uh, how should one go about, uh, well, how does one proceed with the, with a courtship? Oh, you want to woo someone? You have a point way of putting things, Randy. Yes, I want to woo someone. Well, how far have you gotten with her? I mean, I mean, has she encouraged you? No, she hasn't discouraged me. She's been very gracious and, and warm. Yeah? How warm? Well, enough to spur me on. This means a lot to me, Randy. Well, it means a lot to me, too. I mean, I'm very anxious to help you. Is she nice? An angel. Oh, then it's going to be tough. Angels need special treatment. I'll tell you what to do, Mark. The very next time you see her insulted. What? It's revolutionary, but it works. It's dramatic, different. Anything dramatic and different always gets them. You must be out of your mind. Oh, no, no. She won't like it. She may even sock you, but don't let that worry you. The harder she socks, the more you've impressed her. So long, Randy. See you for lunch. And now wait. You asked me how to do it. All right, I'm telling you. Now, go ahead. You're getting advice from an expert. But how? How will I insult her? What will I say? Anything. Something nice and mean. Call her a gold digger. Put your heart out. Oh, I couldn't do that. Not to a girl like her. Oh, sure you can. Now, go ahead. Go on. Do it. Don't think it over. See you later. See you later, old man. Glad to board Northern Willows. I'll connect you. Good morning. Good morning, Mr. Willows. Did you have a good time last night? Oh, wonderful. Oh, good. Fine. I'm glad. You know something, Miss Long? I've come to the conclusion that you are, I think, I think you are... Oh, watch, Mr. Willows. I think you're lovely. Now, what can I do for you? Would you like a sheriff's dog or something? Please listen. We can't do this to him. Do what to who? Mr. Willows. What's so awful? We're merely trying to convince him that you're a wonderful girl and could make any man a wonderful wife. It's no use, Randy. We've got to tell him the truth. Before or after the letter of recommendation. Before. Right now. Now, wait a minute, darling. What'll that get you? Or me? You'll kick us both out and then what? I don't know. But I can't go on fooling him any longer. He's much too nice. Well, love, darling. You once told me to be sensible about money and you were right. And what you said then holds just as good now. Everything's changed. Everything's changed. And your coming to work here makes it worse. Well, I did it because I wanted to be near you. Gloria. No, don't, Randy. Don't. Hey, Bradford, you... Oh, excuse me. It's all right, Mr. Wharton. Come in. You're sure I'm not interrupting? Oh, no. Certainly not. Oh, for a minute, I... Hey, now I remember. Huh? Sure. Seeing you two together brings it all back. Brings what back, Mr. Wharton? Where I saw you, the chorus of the Club Caliban, third one from the left. Mr. Wharton. Am I right? No, you're wrong. Of course you are. She had the first spot. She was the one who did the Hawaiian number. Randy. Well, anyway, she was great. I told you, Miss Long, I never forget a face. Sure, Gloria Winters, the glory girl of the Caliban. I remember. Gentlemen and Miss Winters. Mr. Willow. Hi, Mark. Say, you know who she is? Yes, I do now. You're wanted on the phone, Wharton. Oh, thanks. Well, Mark. Congratulations, Randy. Why didn't you come and tell me who she was without forcing her to practice this deception? Well, it was the other way around. I put him up to it. I wanted you to like him. I see. I'm sorry. Really, I am. Sorry for what? You did a fine job. Come on, Gloria. We're getting married. Mark, you can keep my filthy millions. Do anything you want with them. Eat them, and I hope you get indigestion. Wait a minute, Randy. Mr. Willow, you think I'm a cheap little gold digger, don't you? I never said that. But you're thinking it. I never said it. Well, I'm not. I thought I could prove that to you by working here. But as hard as I knew how, that's why I took the job. I gave it to you because you cried, because you had an invalid sister. I haven't got an invalid sister. I only told you that to impress. You even worked nights at it, too. You wouldn't be jealous, would you, Mark? Jealous? I'll show you how jealous I am. I'll give you the wedding. I'll make it one of the biggest of the season. I'll even do better than that. I'll give the bride away with best wishes and congratulations. Better get some sleep, Gloria. Mars the biggest day in your life. Your wedding day. Forget about Willow. He doesn't mean a thing to do. No. Couldn't bear to see him boring you out the way he did. Who does he think he is? You apologize? You said you were sorry? What more does he want? Heaven helped the poor girl who gets them. Go to sleep, Gloria. Forget him. Go to sleep, Gloria. Forget him. While is your lucky day, Mark. He's marrying Randy. Thank heaven you found her out before you got in too deep. She's not the only girl in the world. There are thousands of them. Lots of nice telephone voices, too. Suppose you did want to call her up all week. You only wanted to tell her what you thought of her. Or I'll forget her and go back to sleep. You're well rid of her. Yes, sir, Randy. Tomorrow's the big day. You'll be a married man tomorrow night, mister. Think of it. Just think. A whole lifetime ahead with one girl. One girl. What's the matter? You want to get married, don't you, Randy? Sure, sure you do, sir. Come on, Gloria. They're going to start the wedding, Mark. Oh, I'm kidding. Let me see you. Oh, you look swell, Gloria. Do I? Oh, what's the matter with you? Wake up. This is your wedding. You can't marry $10 million in your sleep. I'm ready, Kitty. Come on. Wait a minute. What's the rush? Slow down, Gloria. Slow down. Look at Mark walking beside you. He's nice and calm, isn't he? Oh, just look at Mark. Isn't he handsome? Look at her, Mark. Isn't she lovely? You're giving her away. You're giving her away to Randy Bradford. Why, shame on you. I wonder what's the matter with Gloria? She looks nervous. You're nervous, too, Kitty. You've never been a bride's name before, you know? Just a bride. Here she comes, Randy. You're a bride. Oh, she'll keep your nose to that grindstone all night. But you're not ready for that yet. You haven't had enough fun with them. Wish you could get out of this, don't you? Not a chance. You're a hook sucker. Tell me you love her. You know you'd like to shatter from the house tops. Now do it. Do it. Don't go through with it, Gloria. Turn around to him and tell him you love him. You'll find a way to get you out of here. Go on. Tell him. Tell him. Do something quick, Randy. Pull up in, Randy, anything. The wand. Fate. Listen. Mark, listen. I love you, Gloria. I love you, too, Mark. And come on, let's get out of here. We'll get married today in Maryland. Oh, darling. Let us out. Let us out. Wait for me. Gloria, come down. Gloria. Hey, you two, where are you going? We're their curses. They need us. Not today, they don't. Now, be with me. There's the final curtain on. She knew all the answers. And Joan Bennett and Preston Foster were suddenly the right answer for us tonight. Thank you, Mr. DeMille. It's always a pleasure to come back to this theater. Actually, CP, I don't think a Bennett feels quite right anywhere but in the theater. I don't suppose you had much trouble picking a career job. No, but I did. I always wanted to be an interior decorator and I tried for months to get my mother to leave the stage and go into partnership with me. You see what happened? Well, she was about a salesman than you were. But you can always keep decorating your own house for practice. Well, there's a limit to that. But I noticed you followed the family footsteps too, Mr. DeMille. From my father, it was very explicit to my brother and me. The butchers or bakers or candlestick makers that kept telling us, but stay out of the theater if you know what's good for you. And so we both wound up in the theater. What's your secret ambition, Preston? Believe it or not, I wanted to be an opera singer once, CP. Their life. I think it has made a very good one. Ever sing now? Just in the shower. Confidentially, CP, luck soap keeps me on pitch. Well, I don't know about that, Preston, but I do know that luck soap is a grand complexion here. I've used it for years and I wouldn't be without it. You know, when luck soap makes the conquest, Joan, it's permanent. What have you planned for next Monday, CP? Next week, Preston, we have a fine play and some great songs come along with it. The play is the 20th Century Fox hit, My Gal Sal. And the stars are Mary Martin and Dick Powell. My Gal Sal is the story of one of America's great songwriters, Paul Dresser. A drama that is struggle for success. A drama that has all the courage and gaiety that went into his songs. And Mary Martin and Dick Powell will sing those songs for us next Monday night. I think My Gal Sal is a gal your audience will like, Mr. DeMille. Good night. Good night. Good night. Now the floor is to people's answers. Our sponsors, the makers of luck's toilet soap, train me in inviting you to be with us again next Monday night when the Lux Radio Theatre presents Mary Martin and Dick Powell in My Gal Sal. Mr. Cecil D. DeMille saying good night to you from Hollywood. Joan Bennett will soon be seen as the star of the 20th Century Fox picture, Margin for Error. Preston Foster appeared through the courtesy of 20th Century Fox Studio and his next picture is the Technicolor production, My Friend Flicka. Heard in tonight's play were Fred Mackay as Randy, Urban Lee as Benny, Arthur Q. Bryan as Wharton. Our music was directed by Louis Silvers and this is your announcer, John M. Kennedy, reminding you to tune in next Monday night to hear Mary Martin and Dick Powell in My Gal Sal. Imagine Bill a test pilot. Well, I can remember when he was so tired and jumpy that hardly drive a car. I guess he was vitamin deficient all right. I'm certainly glad I told him about Bill. Bill? Oh, there's new vitamin mineral tablet. That's right. Bill's meet the six vitamin formula doctors endorse. There's a government vitamin standard, too, and caught by only a few pennies a day. Just remember, Mary, V.I. for vitamin, double M.S. for minerals. BIM. Get that BIM feeling. This is the Columbia Broadcasting System.