 I work at a company called Genentech. I've been with the company for now almost 12 years. I'm one of the heads of Informatics, a very male-dominated department, I must say. So it's an honor as a woman of color, as a Muslim woman, to be one of the leaders there. But that's just my title. To get there, it's been quite a remarkable journey. And every time, you know, when I've asked that, do I feel any fear coming up when you're speaking about yourself? And I will say every time, even though I've spoken quite a few times, every time I have fear coming up, even right now, I can hear my heart beating. And it's common, it's normal, it's a human reaction. But I was talking to my mom early this morning and I was like, oh gosh, what am I gonna talk to them about? And all she said to me, there are people just like you, just like me. And I'm not gonna talk about my accomplishments and all my education, how I did this and that. Now, I think I wanna talk to you about one of the most strongest emotion I still have a challenge with at this age and time and that's fear and how courage was on the pillars I had to embrace to these defining moments I'm gonna share with all of you. So imagine a girl who was quite opposite to what her culture expected her to be. A girl that was told that a woman can never be a leader and that education was something that she can dream of. And yes, I'm not in my 50s or 40s, I'm in my early 30s but I lived through those times. And imagine this girl who had to stand before paternal grandfather was told that education is known, there's no use for her and her sisters. And imagine this girl as a young adult who was called out in her college back home in a class of almost 80 men and five girls in an engineering class. And she was told that she was wasting her time here. Her kind should be at home cooking and cleaning. But you know life has different plans for you and life and a lot of sense people towards you that you never imagined having and they help you be the person that you are today. And those two remarkable human beings have been my mother and my grandmother. I don't think I'll ever be able to find the right words to express what my mother has done for me and my sisters but just in short that she has saved me in every possible way a girl can be saved. And my grandmother, all I'm gonna say is that she is my best friend, she'll always be my best friend. And she always reminded me that I am the son that my mother never had, the warrior that she never had. In my lowest points in my life. And I held those words and my mother's commitment to my education very close to my heart. So this girl did finally get to go to college. And I think it was my final year, yeah. It was in my final year when my marriage was arranged. And I'm gonna be honest, I was so excited. So excited that I'm gonna get to have my fairytale wedding and my fairytale marriage. I know guys, I was very young. I was 21 when that happened. And it was far from fairytale. So I'm gonna say, it was far from fairytale because it was the beginning of quite an abusive marriage. I tried my best in every possible way I could to save that marriage, first of all. And career and ambition. Oh, that was not even in my mind at that point. And every time something fell apart, I always used to lay the blame on myself that I need to fix this. It's my responsibility. I need to put this together. Yet it was something that wasn't just my own or something that I had to fix. But that's how I was. And I believe it was in 2008 when fear and I came face to face after quite some time. And it was with the news that my best friend, my grandmother was diagnosed with stage four cancer. And I still remember that moment that it was hard to accept. It was hard to understand when you have so much of the losses going on, especially at that time, my marriage. So to accept that somebody who you love so much is going through this. But you know how we, just like everybody who's desperate to find cure for cancer for their loved ones, you were desperate. We tried to get her right treatments. We tried everything and we defeated cancer just like I had read in books. I was a warrior that she always imagined me to be. And we defeated cancer. And that was for a very limited time. For, it was in 2009 when I was sitting by myself in my home after I had faced much such a good scenario with my husband with an ice pack to my face. And I remember my aunt called me in the late hour. It was, I think around 1 a.m. in the morning. And she, all I heard the words, it's back. It's back. The cancer was back. Six months after she got her first, after the first time we actually defeated it. And I just couldn't comprehend what was going on. I just kept repeating these words to myself over and over again that why her? She promised she'll be with me. Why is this happening to her? Why is this happening to me? Haven't I faced enough? And I still remember the last time when I spoke to her, she said something to me quite profounding which I still look and go like, I don't know how or where she knew that from. She said that God took something from you that you never imagined losing. It's because something so much better for you that you never imagined happening. It was the very next day at 5 a.m. the cancer one and took my best best friend away from me the great Suriya Eunice. We talk about mental health. We talk about suicidal thoughts, depression, clinical depression. This woman right here faced through all of that including suicide thoughts. And I'm not ashamed to say it out loud. But I had choices. Either I could let that darkness consume me completely or I would do something about it. And I'm so glad I chose the latter. So in order to do something about it and in order to save my marriage, that was completely falling apart. In 2010, my husband and I, we at that time were called to this fascinating country, a country that was foreign to us at this language and that's United States. And when we got here, this woman right here never held a job in her life because I got married in my final year of graduation, never ever had a job in her life, never held a job in her life. So for her to even face a world that's called corporate world, no way, there is no way. I can't even do that. So imagine how much fear and I were like this at that time. But I had to because we were living in the Bay Area. It's not easy. It's expensive here. So I knew I had to get out there and get the right job. And it was the summer of 2010 when I got a call from this quite a fascinating company called Genentech. I was beyond surprised. You're inviting somebody who has no experience, nothing whatsoever, but you want me to come for an interview. Okay. And at that time, I think they had a campus building in Redwood City. It's no longer there anymore, unfortunately, but I remember I was standing outside the building, constantly fixing my scarf, brushing my pants and just making sure that I look okay. And I remember I took a couple of deep breaths, opened the door and went inside the building and I was greeted by this remarkable human being by the name Bob Albert, who I did know at that time was gonna be my manager. And he welcomed me with a big smile and warmth and said, welcome to Genentech. And I didn't realize that was the beginning of a whole new journey. Because after that, honestly speaking, the way I grew and evolved and was surrounded by people who have lifted me up, embalmed me enough, empowered me enough to walk away from marriage that was never meant to be saved. After that, I swear, I thought this was it. I've conquered all my fears. I have empowered myself, yay, this is it. But little did I know that life had other plans for me. Life always is mystery, right? And it has always other plans for you. And this time, you all might remember this time as well. Remember 2016, when this entire country was shaken by a growing hostile political movement and rise of anti-migration. And this time, my safety and my family safety, people like me and their safety was getting questioned. My identity, how I appeared was turning into shame. I was ashamed of being seen as a Muslim. I was ashamed of showing up at work and being seen as a Muslim. Even though that environment there was far from what I had imagined, the openness, the warmth, the welcome, the acceptance I always felt there. But there's a psychological thing in your mind, right? You start questioning yourself, your being, my identity, my customs, everything was just turning into shame. I started standing behind folks at the train station. So I was just so afraid some psychotic person or lunatic would just push me in front of it. And that's because those were the scenarios I was getting to hear across the globe. And I remember it was such a heartbreaking conversation with my mother who wanted nothing more than the well-being of her daughters and the safety of their daughters when she was honestly being very open that we do not wear what we call this, it's our head scarf. Just so that we can be safe and we won't be seen as Muslims. And that was the first time that I really just pause and question myself, why am I shamed of who I am? And that was the start of a whole other journey that I embarked on becoming a clinical psychologist because I wanted to work with men, women, teenagers, children, whether it's from our background or from our community or outside of a community just to help them accept their fear and face that fear and not be ashamed of who they are and challenge the surrounding, the thinking of the people around them. And it's amazing, right? When you help someone that capacity, you also find questions, the answers to the questions that you're seeking just like I was around shame and fear. Being able to reimagine yourself beyond what other people see, it's the most difficult task of all, yet the most rewarding thing if you can. Because we all come into this world in a body, people with neurological difficulties, environmental or more impacted communities, boys, girls, boys who want to dress up as girls, girls who wear wails, athletes who bend their knees and sign or protest, sexually assaulted victims, black, white, Asian, Latinos, us as a community right now as Muslims, Native Americans, you or me, we all want what everybody wants and that is to dream and to achieve. But sometimes the society tells us and we tell ourselves that we don't fit the mold. But the very limited time I've been in this country and that's gonna be close to now 12 years is that we all have one thing in common and that's being human. So we all should be fighting towards one race and that's the human race. And you all might be wondering, why am I telling you all of this? Number one, I never imagined myself standing before wonderful people like you, adults like you and sharing this part about my life 12 years ago. And two, these 12 years, if I look back, wow, it's been a long journey but it's been worth it. And this girl who has just lived her life in fear is now a woman who's beginning to embrace and face that fear. So I hope by sharing this, I get to learn a little bit about all of you and don't just to hear my story. Listen and try to listen to each other's stories just like I hope I listen to yours. And our stories have no ending. They have chapters, sequels, pages upon pages and our stories must go on and that can only happen if we help each other write it together. I always wanted to be an engineer like my father is. My older sister and I went to the same college my father went to. So not only we were the first two female engineers in our family, we were also carrying on his legacy as daughters. Both my parents really stood up for their girls and especially my mom. She truly has made me the woman I am today. The word immigrant, that's a word that I heard in movies. I didn't realize that I will be actually titled or have the label when I move here. When I came to U.S., I was absolutely lost. I felt defeated. I've been blessed to have managers that truly helped me see that leader aspect about me. Cyrus Tosen is a manager and associate director at IT Americas. Cyrus let me see those qualities and skills that I never thought I would see in myself. Robin Meredith Parker, she is a executive coach. I remember our first meeting I was thinking the whole time that why am I even here? She asked me a question that I'll never forget. What does my name mean? And I'm just going back and I'm going like, I'm sorry, we're supposed to be talking about work. I reluctantly said that it means the one who lives. And she nodded and she smiled, keeping a constant eye contact. And she's like, right, so how much are you loving yourself to live, Aisha? And I'll never forget that question. It takes a village to help a person become who they are. And I think it definitely took a village. What they have done for me, I don't think I have enough words to describe my graduate. I think the reason why things are changing is the persistence and the perseverance in people. And I'm seeing that not only in elders, but teenagers. It's remarkable what they're doing. The other future of this country and they're going to bring the change that we're looking for. I think my message to other women and girls would be that the sky is not your limit. You are brilliant, you are smart, you are intelligent. And don't let anybody tell you that you're not. Yes, you are.