 Lingard transfer offer. Wolves are expressing to sign Jesse Lingard for a fee of 21 million. Wait, take it? Yeah, but I have to replace him with somebody, right? Let's negotiate. Negotiation table. We're gonna ask for a little bit more cash. Give us 23 and it's a deal. I'm gonna say 24. We won't be willing to settle for less than 25 million. I understand you're not being able to look. We can offer 22 million to make that deal happen. Hey, nice. We need to grab ourselves a camp. What does Messi play? Right wing. He's too expensive and too old. What do you mean? Look how good he is. Good to see you. Thanks for coming. Why don't you get started? Shady, we're going to try and get Messi chat. Messi and Ronaldo, we offer you $90 million. We won't let Messi lead, but we'd sell him for $143 million. Wait, transfer budget is $99 million. Wait, so that's more than our budget. I'm sorry, but there's a huge gap between your values between ours. There's no point in his conversation all the best. Wait, I screwed up. Can I go? Can I try again? What about Neymar? Wait, his value is way higher. His value is 152. Okay, who do I get to get a camp? Reina? Giovanni Reina, 18 years old. I'm glad you're going to make it. Let's sit down. 10 million. Wait, what is? He was insulted. He left. Why is this guy's picture of the guy that's from like the 1980s? I feel like you've wasted my time here. What the? Ignoring chat, get LeBron James. Okay, that's not, that's the wrong sport. Holland? Dude, his value is insane. Six foot four, 94 speed. Dude, I want him. 185. Let's see what he says. You want him? I want him to gacky hyper. That's not what I meant. 310? Ew, a crack head. People are saying sign Felix. Who's Felix? There's 100 Felixes. Okay, I don't know anything about this guy, but you know what we're going to do? We're just going to offer him 10 mil. 20 mil. I feel like I've wasted my time. Okay. Oh, we have a game chat. What is with these kids? Get the kids off the field. All right, gentlemen, listen up. I know there's been a lot of talk of my coaching expertise coming in here and winning our first ever game on the, on the land of FIFA. Home of the, well, home of the brave, but not so free. We came out here and I think we had a lot of people doubting us. We had a lot of doubters. Okay, and I know things ain't going to get easier. I know leads, leads is not the best team around. But hey, listen, we have to go out there and we have to pay attention to the damn fundamentals. Okay. We got to go out there, set the edge. Don't let them get deep behind our safeties. Okay. Behind our defense. We can't let them get the deep ball off on it. We got to get the ball to Ronaldo and Ronaldo is going to run it down. Score, score a damn score, score a damn. Okay. Here we go. Rashford. Oh, nice. All right, fellas. Listen up. We got to, we got to pick it up. Okay. We got to pick it up in the next two quarters. We got to go out there and we have to score. Okay. We only scored defense. Good job. Good job defensively. They haven't scored a good score point yet, but we got to go out there in the second half and we have got to absolutely got to score more points because one is not enough. Okay. I'm not taking this damn game to overtime. Oh, defense. McGuire. What the hell are you doing? Good job team. Way to pass to Ronaldo. Just keep doing that. We're going to win. It's so close. Be able to prove it. Oh, my. Plan of action, but throw to the goalkeeper at ghost. What? What happened? What happened? I thought, what was that? Dude, I'm going to be so mad at this score right here. Please don't score. Oh, we'll hold on chat. We win again. Okay. Thank you all for joining me. Football history time. In 1984, there was the Kump fan incident where a fan was sneaking into players dressing rooms and ejaculating on the players' belongings. This continued for several months before it was found to be the ball boy. I, listen, that has nothing to do with our victory, but I appreciate the information. It's good to know. It's good knowledge. You know, coming out here winning our first two games in a row, I'm very, very impressed with the way this football team has come out here and really, really, I'll be honest surpassed. I think the expectation is a lot of people. A lot of doubters. I think a lot of people didn't think we had what it takes. Here from United People's TV, great start of the season so far. Fans are beginning to give you the nickname Walmart Ferguson. You sell that fridge looking slap head with wire already. He slept with my wife and it's tearing my family apart. Listen, the wire has done a fantastic job basically just standing there. Hello coach, Ricky Astman with the Cheeky Brough Times. Absolutely. The team has looked solid the past few games, but how do you respond to the criticisms that you look like a bargain bin version of the Undertaker? Well, listen, listen, listen. Now, hey, there's people that are going to say what they want to say, OK? But the Undertaker I believe would be a fantastic soccer coach. Hey coach, I have no problems with the players that you have selected for your team, but are you sure you are going to win it all this year given the disaster stress and to your last season with the NFL? Hold on now. Listen, we did come back and I did come back to coach one final season. We did win the Super Bowl, OK? A, B, yes. Thank you. Come on, guys. Keep up the pace. Keep up the pace, fellas. Keep up the pace. Keep going. Keep it going. That circle's getting tight. That circle's getting tighter, tighter, tighter, tighter, tighter. Good. OK. Aston Martin is interested in loaning Phil Jones. Do I loan Phil Jones for one year? We want, we want to keep Phil Jones. And then we're going to keep Fernandez. Listen closely, OK? The expectations are now running high, OK? We came out here our first two games and what do we do? We performed. We delivered. OK, and I expect that to continue. I do. Renato, break him out. I got to go to the bathroom. Scum of Dominique. Damn it, McGuire. McGuire, you can't get intercepted like that. Jesus Christ on the cross, McGuire. You're just washing the ball. Fred, get in there. We're making some play. Fred's fresh. Got fresh legs. Damn it, Fred. OK, listen to the hell up. Y'all are walking around here. You got your head halfway up your ass. Now there's an expectation here. There's an expectation, a commitment to excellence. And y'all want to come out here and slap Dick around down to nothing at halftime. Why the hell does Renato not have the ball every damn second of our possession? McGuire, you're out for the whole rest of the game. You're dog shit. When I take a shower in the locker room, Renato always sticks something in my butt. Can you please do something? Listen, I told Renato to make sure that he gives you that suppository, OK? I made sure because you know what? That's a leader. That's what you call a leader right there, man. He cares not only about winning the game on the field, but he wants to win the game off the field, OK? He cares about you. He cares about your health and well-being. He knows you got to take your medicine, OK? And I told him to make sure to do that. So, Renato, thank you. Thank you, Renato. Renato, you know what? Break him out anyway. Let's do this. Passing was an open. Obviously, we're not going to go out there and win every game, but I'll go ahead and I'll be the first one to tell you that today was a disappointment, OK? What I am here to make decisions on is decisions that will lead us to have some results. Who the hell put a window in the press conference room? Why? Why is there a window in the press conference room? And why is there so much damn lot directly on the podium? I don't know. 130 million for Messi. The minimum we want is 143. He's old. It's OK. Chat, we just signed Messi. We have Messi and Ronaldo. How much for Reina? How much should I offer for Reina? Here, we'll do 50. How about 50? Flat. That was too much. Well, no, he wanted 12 million and the value was 41 million. So I signed him to a three-year deal. Chat, you guys think Messi is not going to play for three more years? He wants a 3.75 million signing bonus. It's great to have you both here at last. OK, we got Giovanni Reina. But what about other players that we want to give you a good every chance of being either occasionally a starter or more usually a substitute? Good. That's what we had in mind. The last heavy role you're offering him. Four years. Sure. Disregard release clause. Wage, accept. I know we had a rough go last week. We did. We had a rough go last week, but that's OK. But what really matters is how you react in the face of adversity. OK? How you react in the face of adversity is what matters the most. So how do we react for the Manchester United soccer team? What do we do? We reacted to adversity by spending our entire budget and signing Lionel Messi. So everybody welcome Lionel Messi to the team. Yes, we have Messi and Ronaldo on the same team. It's going to be very exciting, OK? Whoa! Good block. OK, good job. Good job, defense. That was a hell of a block. OK, McGuire. Oh, my lord. McGuire! Stop trying to dribble the damn ball. McGuire, just as soon as you get the ball, pass. That is your job. Just literally pass it as soon as... What is McGuire doing? Just got news. What a shot! Right on the back goal post. Smoked it. Obviously we did not play the way that we wanted to play today. OK, I know we've dropped the ball twice in a row, but you know, we started off on a good foot. And no, there's no damn ice cream or gelato or, or, you know, gherato or whatever the hell it is that y'all eat here in England, OK? Until we win the damn FIFA Bowl. Or what is a Super Bowl for soccer? World Cup? When Manchester United wins the World Cup, y'all can have some damn ice cream. I'm getting the hell out of here. This is the nine best sets of supporters have been waiting for. Not long now until kickoff on matchday one in the Champions League. Who will get up to a positive start with all three points? It's Villarreal. They face Manchester United. And it's line-up of excitement stands before us potentially here at the Estadio de la Serramiga, the home of Villarreal. I'm Derek Gray in the commentary position. Y'all listen up. Listen up. OK, here's what we're doing today. This is probably the best team that we've played so far. This probably is the best team that we've played so far. I don't know what to do with my hands. I was going to get on the theme. I'm not leaving until you sign me. Keep your head up, boys. Keep your head up. It's OK. I need 100% of the effort, 400% of the time. OK, that's what I need. Why? Because we got to have 100% effort for four quarters. OK, that's why. 100% effort, 400% of the time. That's the only way we can win any games. Let's go out there and win the damn game. Fernandez, break them out. They've been confirmed, Stuart. Well, certainly a little... What? That's an effective draw. What are you doing? I've been trying to get them over the finish line. Oh! All of a sudden it's... Oh, but I think it's game over. I can't believe I'm paying money to watch FIFA 22 Kappa. OK, listen.