 I'm Andy Fisher, WNAW News. It's seven and a half minutes past ten. Time for the Sears Radio Theater. That's the theme from the Sears Radio Theater. Tonight's story is a comedy with Andy Griffin as your host. Here's a preview. What's the matter, Carl? You nervous? Nervous? Why should I be nervous? Maybe you think Mary is going to tell you that she likes me better. Ha! This girl's got taste, believe me. I'm just wondering how we can restrain you after she chooses me. The Sears Radio Theater will begin after this message from your local station. Here's a tip from your better business bureau. Are you in the market for a used car? If you are, it would be wise to shop around until you get a feel for the market. It's important for you to find out if the car is covered by a warranty. A used car warranty is limited. For example, it may cover the first thousand miles or 30 days. Remember, however, the warranty is as good as the dealer who backs it. And you check his reliability with your local better business bureau. Also, remember that careful inspection is the key to enjoying a used car. Be sure and look for rust, check the tires, the shock absorbers, and the operating controls. And incidentally, it's also a good idea to take a test drive. You see, by giving the car the once over before you buy it, you're protecting yourself against a faulty purchase and a lot of headaches after you've bought it. This has been a tip from your better business bureau. If trivia turns you on, turn on William B. Williams and Bill St. James every weekday when they may give you a chance to win WNEW cash for the answers to trivia questions from any one of four categories and you pick the category. To be eligible to play, send your name, address, phone number, including your business number if you work between 10 a.m. and 4 p.m., and your favorite category, pop lock, sports, entertainment, or recent world history to WNEW right away. Now, if William B. or Bill call you, you'll win $10 for a trivia quickie answer or $100 for a Jim Lowe trivia tuppy. The question may be trivial, but the cash is not. And by the way, whether you answer your question correctly or not, you're eligible just for playing to win an AMFM stereo system in a weekly drawing. Better get those cards in right away to trivia WNEW 565 Fifth Avenue, New York, 1-001-7. I wonder what the longest-running play on Broadway was after all and break the bank, won at Bird Parks, and who was the last hitter to hit 400? This is Andy Griffith. You know, I would be a very happy, contented host if I could get an answer to one simple question. Why is it so difficult for brothers to get along with each other? They don't have to like each other. All they have to do is help each other out of the jams, make excuses when a window's been broken, and make sure there's more than one of them around to face a class bully after school. What's so difficult about that? Well, I found that the perfect set of brothers is as rare as a reliable deputy. Just look at the good book. Cain didn't exactly give Abel a love tap. Young Joseph's brother sold him to a party of traders. They didn't even try to exchange him for a different model. And we all remember the prodigal son. But who remembers his older brother? The one who stayed at home while the prodigal son whooped it up. I suppose brothers were meant to disagree about anything and everything. So imagine what might happen if a brotherly disagreement centered around a young woman and a pretty one at that. Imagine because that's the beginning of our story. The Sears Radio Theater is brought to you by Sears Robot & Company, where value is your byword. Sears, where America shops. Spring is a playground of texture. It's Sears Junior Bazaar. Our classic blazer is touchable in cotton and polyester tarry, push the collar in the sleeves up, wrap it close, or let it breeze open. Slip a saucy pointel top underneath and you've got contrast. Or let each go solo in the sunshine. Finish with crisp coolness and polyester and cotton, poplin' wrapped scrups and pleated pants. All mix and matchable in neutral and earthy tones from Junior Bazaar at most larger Sears retail stores. Understand you type fast. Yes. Accurate? Well... That's okay. You'll be typing on Sears exclusive corrector electric typewriter with easy correction and more. It's Sears best. Try typing Sears corrector typewriter. Whoops. Now first, Sears is S-E-A-R-S, not Z. So backspace to the incorrect letter. Tap the correction key. Now the mistake is blocked out. Next, type the correct letter. Then proceed. Yes, Daddy. Are we finally set for grandmas? I think so. We've got the new Sears Travel Guard baby seat in the car. Right. And the extra sleep and play baby suits. Oh, Grandma will love those. They're so cute. And yet, practical. The extra baby blankets and bottles are in the vinyl diaper bag. Oh, Sears certainly did make shopping for the baby easy. Sure did. Well, I think we've got everything. Um, honey, I think you've forgotten something. Hmm? That's a baby. Let me say this. There's no closer relationship than brothers. Except sisters. Or husband and wife. That sort of thing. But brothers usually, like I was pointing out earlier, brothers usually are close. I mean, they share things, secrets and such, and generally aid and assist one another. Even occasionally, I've been told they've been known to help out others. This past year has been the happiest year of my life. And I owe it all to two brothers, Carl and Jerry Bernowski. Because, fellas, without you two running interference, I wouldn't be the contented man I am today. Nothing bothers me now. Fine. I won't even mind hearing your story again. It all took place in Chicago. That toddle in town. Good morning, wonderful brother of mine. Watch out, Carl. I wish you'd get your eyes examined again. I'd just like to do me a favor, Jerry. I knew it. If I have to write another love letter for you, the answer is... No, Jerry, please. Your handwriting is so exquisite. Here's the pen and paper. I'll dictate. All right. To the most beautiful girl in Chicago. What's her name? I don't know. Well, what's her address? We can send it to Occupant. I don't know that either. How do you expect her to get this letter, Carl? Love will find a way. Carl, sit down a minute. On the chair, Carl. Look, you can't go off the deep end every time a beautiful babe steams your glasses. Why, you're not even sure what she really looks like. Where are you going? I'm going to catch the bus. That's the closet, Carl. I'll show you. They laughed at Edison. They laughed at Marconi. And they laughed at Carl Bernofsky. But somehow, Carl managed to catch his bus. And on that very same bus sat the most beautiful girl in Chicago. Boy, this bus is sure packed today. Um, here's a vacant seat. It's you! Pardon me? Oh, I mean, thank you. What's the world coming to when a lady has to offer a gentleman a seat? Oh, that is a bit out of the ordinary. And so are you. When I saw you sitting here beneath the Keep Chicago beautiful sign, I said to myself, I said, Carl, that girl is doing her part. I'm flattered, but the sign I'm under says, please turn down your radio. It is disturbing others. Oh, so it does. But you're still keeping Chicago beautiful. Thanks. Excuse me. Well, you're not leaving, are you? I have to. This is my stop. Well, you can't get off now. I don't even know your name. And it's driving me crazy. Easy, Carl. Well, please tell me your name. I can't either. Sleep. Oh, I'd do anything for you, Miss... Anonymous. Anonymous. My real name is Mary Ann Shuler. Now will you please let me go? I wasn't keeping you, was I? Oh! Oh, don't you want to know my name? Oh, when can I see you again? Although Carl didn't exactly, uh, endear himself to the young lady, he did learn her name. So Carl wasted no time returning home. He had a letter to dictate. Harrison steps up with the bases loaded and two out. A hit here could win it for the size. I'm back. Quiet. Harrison takes strike one. You'll never guess who I saw on the bus. Not now, Carl. Harrison swings a missus. Strike two. The most beautiful girl in Chicago. Come on, Harrison, you bimbo. Get a hit. Strike three. Game's over. Sots lose. Aw, wait till next year. How was your trip, Romeo? Oh, wonderful. Fantastic. Terrific. We can't be talking about the same thing. Here, take a letter, Jerry. To the most beautiful girl in Chicago, Mary Ann Shuler. Hey, you got her name. Good work, Carl. To the most beautiful girl in Chicago. So Carl dictated his letter. At times it was touching. My idea of heaven is boarding a crowded bus and finding the only vacant seat is next to you. At times it was improbable. I'd ride the bus all the way to Hagwish to see you. I'd wait for the bus in snow up to my neck. And at times it was downright impossible. My fondest wish is for you to get off at my stop. Eternally yours, Carl Bernowski. Oh, brother. Read it back to me, Jerry. Do I have to? You sure you want to send her this letter? Certainly. I got her address from the phone book and I'm ready to go. My heart and soul are in that letter, Jerry. May I make a suggestion? What's that? Don't send this letter yet. This is strong stuff, Carl. And the last thing you want is to put off this young lady, right? I suppose. Why not wait a couple of days? Who knows? You might even change your mind. Never. I'll wait. But I know the time will not cool my ardor. Carl has been plagiarizing the romantic poets again. So while Carl waited, a funny thing happened to Jerry while he was on the bus. Well, hello there. Is this seat taken? Uh, no. It's not. It is now. You know, I saw you under the Keep Chicago beautiful sign and I said to myself, I said, Jerry, that girl's doing her part. Where have we heard that one before? Does everyone in Chicago talk to himself like that? Only when he is deeply moved by someone as beautiful as yourself. Oh, brother. Excuse me. I've got to go now. Oh, my knee. It's an old football injury and you're twisting it around like a present. Oh, well, uh, I'm sorry. How was I supposed to know? Oh, terrific. My knee's stiffened up and in a minute, it'll be as big as a melon. Well, I won't be around to harvest it for you. Hey, you can't crawl over me like that. I'm hurt. Now Jerry wouldn't let an opportunity pass by when it landed in his lap, especially if the opportunity was, uh, beautiful and unattached. Take your hands off me this minute. I'm trying to help you. I've had more help from Mashers. Now let me go. Faye has thrown us together. Why don't you give me your name and phone number? Oh, I'd turn in my own mother first. Now if you'll excuse me. When can I see you again? Let you out again. He likes me. I can tell. Hurry, step right up to most Sears retail stores for the Sears National Hardware Week sale. Take aim for special savings on these items. Save 40% on total regular separate catalog prices for a 70-piece mechanics tool set. Now just $59.99. Save $40 on a five-horsepower rototiller and $25 off an attractive 20-inch bathroom vanity and top. Take home big savings. It's Sears National Hardware Week sale. Hurry, hurry! Prices may vary in Alaska and Hawaii. Oh, here I go again. It's time to rent one of those steam-type carpet cleaners. Why rent? Now Sears puts power in a carpet cleaner you can own yourself. The power spray from Sears for easy home carpet cleaning. Power spray sprays hot water into your carpet, then sucks up the dirty water. You can see the dirt you get out. Dirt you didn't even know was there. The power spray carpet cleaner, a convenient carpet cleaner you can own yourself. Available at most Sears retail stores. Kenmore. Solid as Sears. The words out and spreading fast about the genes from Sears Man Store that grow beautifully. It's a sure sign they're feeling fine and feeling good. For the denim that keeps going strong a long time. Get them trim cut, regular cut, even get them free washed. The genes that grow old beautifully. Now at most Sears retail stores. Over me on public transportation. He was coarse, inconsiderate, unscrupulous, insufferable, and... Cuter faces in a lineup at the 34th precinct. I was so angry I didn't notice how attractive he was. So was the Venus flytrap. Why didn't I give him my name? Because you're smart, that's why. I wonder if I got any mail. Just one to Mary Ann Shuler. I don't know any third graders. To the most beautiful girl in Chicago. Carl was supposed to hold on to that letter. After Mary Ann finishes reading it she won't give him the time of day. Eternally yours, Carl Bernowski. What a wonderful letter. Such romantic thought and such exquisite. Right. It's not Carl's. He writes like a third grader. Address the envelope, I wonder. Oh, there's a short note, too. Here's that funny handwriting again. It's more like... Like chicken scratching. It says, I would be honored if you would share dinner with me this Friday evening. Forever yours, Carl Bernowski. Eternally yours. Forever yours. Carl's gotten himself into a time warp. Oh well, he's certainly less dangerous than Jerry. And if she's got to go out with one of them it might as well be... Pardon me. Oh. It's you again. Yeah, it's me. I want to apologize. Back there on the bus, I behaved rather... Crudely. More like a neanderthal. I don't know what got into me unless it was your beauty that caused me to lose my head. Oh, brother. May I make up for it over dinner? Dinner? Well... Please say yes. All right. But it has to be Saturday. I've got a date Friday night. Oh. Anybody I know? I doubt it. So give me your name. And I won't bother you till Saturday. You're getting off easy, Mary Ann. I'm Mary Ann Shuler. Bye. Don't you want to know my name? I'll find out. How do you like that? Where's that darn bus when you need it? I and Jerry didn't connect Mary Ann with Carl in his letter as anybody's guess. We can't expect Jerry to remember everything. And like the lady said, he'll find out soon enough. Scooter delaying it back. Two on and two off. A hit here could win it for the socks. Carl. Wake up, Carl. Oh, Jerry. What a dream I had. I think I got married during the seventh inning stretch and the socks won the game. Scooter takes strike one. That's nice, Carl. While you were dreaming, I lined up a little hot number for the weekend. Oh, that's nice, Jerry. It just so happens that I've got a romantic interlude of my own. The lady follows this one back. Count his own two. Why, you sneak? You sent that letter after all, didn't you? I sure did. Scooter watches one line of the dirt. It's one and two. What's your girl's name? Maybe we can double. Can't do it Friday. She's already got a date with some bimbo. Her name's Mary Ann. The lady takes this one way outside. Count is Stephen at two and two. Oh, no kidding. Mary Ann. Has she got a last name? Of course she's got a last name. Uh... It's Schooner. Schoover? Oh, boy, I'm terrible with names. Scooter hits the deck. That pitch was too close for comfort. Full count fans, three and two. Could it be Shuler? Mary Ann? Shuler? Yeah, that's it. This ballgame is all over. Carl, that's easy, Jerry. I'm the bimbo she's going out with Friday. Have yet to reach an understanding over their mutual heartthrob, Mary Ann. Shuler. If blood is thicker than water, then surely a disagreement over a lovely young woman will not upset the brothers' Bernofsky. Or will it? Radio Theatre will return after this message from your local station. Listen with your heart and you'll hear more than... Yes, sweetheart? Did my mother ever do anything bad? Well... What do you mean? Did she always clean up her room? To me, I had to remind her to clean up her room on occasion. Sometimes I forget too. Well, everyone forgets once in a while. Listen with your heart and start to... My mom loves Jimmy more than me. Your mother used to ask me that about her brother. Really? You reminded me an awful lot of your mother when she was a little girl. Listening, caring, and sharing. That's what understanding is all about. Listen with your heart and you'll hear the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Pardon me, miss. Please. Hi. Listen, I'm from the local radio station and I understand you're the world's first female manhole digger. Yes, I'm terribly, terribly proud. You enjoy your work? Yes, well, except for the headaches, the tension. But high blood pressure usually has no symptoms. No symptoms at all, but the tension every manhole is counting on me. Well, you may be tense, but high blood pressure is a separate problem. Yes, that's what my doctor said. Of course he did. You have to follow your high blood pressure treatment every day, however you feel. Are you going to put this on the radio? Sure. Well, I'd like to say hello to my agent who got me this job and thank my producer and the director. You follow your treatment every day. And to learn more, the National High Blood Pressure Education Program urges you to consult your doctor, health department, heart association, or your local high blood pressure education program. Put down those walls. That's long enough to listen. Someone all your life you think you know them and then something like this happens. They all double-cross. Stop making a big production out of this, Carl. That's a mistake. So was Doris Kaputnik, that two cheerleader in high school. She threw herself at me on the bus. Honest. She throwed loose Shapiro in the cloakroom in the seventh grade. She wouldn't let me go, Carl. Neither would Alice Koslowski in kindergarten. What was I supposed to do? I should have known. Every time a beautiful dream enters my life, you find some way to turn it into a nightmare. Wait a minute, Mr. Martyr. Haven't I ever helped you out? And speaking of nightmares, how about that redhead from Calumet City with six screaming kids? They were enthusiastic. Enthusiastic, my eye. And don't forget that blonde who ran the roller rink in Blue Island. She wore those skates everywhere. She was an artiste, Jerry, with a sensitive soul. And a good right jab. Look, Carl, the last thing I want is to take away your girl if she is your girl. What do you mean? I saw her first. Yes, what do you mean, Jerry? What do I mean? She wouldn't be going out with both of us, Carl. If she's already got a steady boyfriend. He's right, Carl. If she's unattached, then she's fair game. Not for long, Jerry. I'm an attorious attacher. Just like a barnacle. Don't get your hopes up too high, Carl. The ballgame isn't over till the last out. And I'm a pretty good clutch here. We'll just let Mary Ann decide that. Some choice. I bet they crack their knuckles, too. Since Friday comes before Saturday, Carl had the first chance to make a favorable impression with Mary Ann. To begin with, Carl arrived 30 minutes late. Hello, Mary Ann. I'm Carl Bernowski. You're also a half-hour late. I can explain. I'm waiting. I'm waiting. Well, I caught the wrong bus. But I got tickets to the Bolshoi Ballet. I hope you like ballet. I like it. I love it. I always wanted to be a ballerina. I knew it. They're only in town for 10 days. And the tickets weren't easy to come by. Did you ever have one of those days when it just wasn't your night? If Carl had read his tickets, he would have noticed that they were for the following Friday's performance. But Mary Ann took the whole thing in stride. You're upset, right? I am not upset. Then why are you strangling your handkerchief? I am not strangling it. I'm gripping it very tightly. How about a movie? Would you like to see a movie? I suppose you've got tickets. Name a movie. Any movie. I'll take you. I did want to see the new Jack Nicholson film. My dear, it's done. Taxi! By the time Mary Ann and Carl arrived at the theater, the line extended around the corner. They took their places and waited patiently as the line dwindled. They found themselves at the ticket booth when an usher appeared to make an announcement. Sorry, folks, but we're all sold out for this show. However, there are some obstructed view seats left for the midnight show. What do you think, Mary Ann? Mary Ann? You're not angry, are you? Angry? Me? Angry? It's not my fault that they're sold out. I'm not psychic. I can't read minds. Be thankful for that, Carl. I'll bet you're starved. How about dinner? I know this great little place with continental cuisine. And have a flaming shish kebab dropped in my lap? No thanks, Carl. Can't we just go home? That's how you feel. I'm sorry, Carl. I've had a lovely evening, and I'd just like to go home. You mean it? About the lovely evening? Well, it has been interesting. It's been fun. We'll have to do it again. He can't be serious. Taxi! Taxi! In the darkened interior of a slow-moving cab with the hypnotic lights of the city dancing on the windows, a man can easily fall prey to his basic urges. But Carl decided to give Mary Ann some sound advice instead. You've got a date tomorrow night, right? Yes. Sorry. How did he know? A beautiful girl like yourself is bound to have a busy social calendar. What do you know about this guy? Not much. I met him on the bus. The same way I met you. You should be careful about meeting people like that. A lot of oddballs ride the buses these days. Listen to Carl Mary Ann. He seems like a nice man. He's good-looking. Athletic builds, bad-me, fast hands. Go on. Self-centered, unscrupulous, insufferable. Sounds like you know him rather well. I should. It's my brother. Are you kidding me? I wish I was. Two brothers and me in the middle. Oh, brother! Now Mary Ann knows how it feels to be a club sandwich. If she didn't have such a keen sense of adventure, she might back out of her engagement with Jerry. Lucky for us, she decided to go through with it. As these meetings go, it was a veritable whirlwind. We arrived 30 minutes early. Ray Bernofsky, it's your service. Aren't you a bit early? The early worm gets the bird. Are you ready? Not exactly. Let's go, let's go! I've got tickets to the Golden Globes fight at the Armory. And they start smack at eight. I'll just be a second. Make that a microsecond and you got a deal. Jerry should have been an efficiency expert. In three hours, he managed to whisk Mary Ann through three bouts at the Armory. A brisk jog through Grand Spark. A couple minutes of a rock concert at the bandshow. Chili dogs at Rico's in the loop. And several steins of Bach beer in a north side tavern. Gee, Mary Ann, you don't look so good. Gee, Jerry, I don't feel so good. You didn't look green earlier tonight. I'm part chameleon on my mother's side. Don't feel bad. We've all got skeletons in the closet. Mary Ann? Are you all right, Mary Ann? Of course she's not, Jerry. Why don't you take her home? Come on, Mary Ann. I'll take you home. With Mary Ann safely recuperating in her apartment, it might prove interesting to hear how Jerry recounted his evening for Carl. Is that you, Jerry? Of course it's me. Why don't you turn on the lights so I can be sure? You satisfied? No. What time is it? About 2.30 on the AM side. That sweet girl out this late. Gee, when a girl goes out with Jerry Bernowski, she gets the grand tour. Oh, no. You didn't run it through Grant's Park, did you? Yeah, it's nice and quiet there. And to Rico's for chili dogs. Rico's my friend, and his food is out of this world. And then that cheap tavern on the north side, Jerry Bernowski, how could you? Gee, I don't have to answer that. And he didn't. She had a wonderful time, and she wants to go out with me again. I didn't know she was a masochist. You never could lie with a straight face. Neither could you. All that bull about how you went to the ballet and then saw a movie and then ate at a fancy restaurant. I bet you didn't do those things at all. Did so. Did not. Did so. I wonder who writes their lines. Well, the boys each became determined to outdo the other for Marianne's affections. Jerry pestered her over the phone. Hey, how about a date tonight, Marianne? I wish you'd quit pestering me over the phone. Terrific. I'll pick you up at 8 sharp. And Carl badgered her through the U.S. mail. To the most beautiful girl in Chicago. Dinner at 9, would sure be fine. Oh, I wish he'd quit badgering me through the mail. Through it all, Marianne maintained a stiff upper lip. And to her surprise, she began to feel a certain warmth in her heart for the brothers Bernowski. The brothers took her to strange new worlds. With Jerry, she went to ballgame with the boys. And then, she went to the ballgame with the boys. And then, she went to the ballgame with Jerry, she went to ballgame, stripped joints, and even took a tour of the steel mills where Jerry worked as a foreman. And with Carl, she viewed the masterpieces at the Art Institute, browsed in galleries, and even toured the mummy exhibit at the Museum of Natural History where Carl worked as a guide. The months of activity brought a closeness between them. And it came as no surprise to anyone, except maybe Marianne, when the brothers began to entertain Jerry's thoughts of matrimony. Carl's proposal almost came first. They were in the main library downtown. I have something important to ask you. Can it wait, Carl? I'm in the middle of the Industrial Revolution. And I'm in the middle of an important proposal. Carl didn't have much success with his proposal. And Jerry didn't fare any better. That very same day, Jerry took Marianne to the tallest building in Chicago. Jerry, Jerry. I've got something important to ask you. Can't you ask me down here? Nope, we've got to get to the top. Come on, let's go, let's go. Jerry, wait, I've got something to tell you. Through a technological miracle known as the Express Elevator, Jerry and Marianne were transported to the observation deck of the tallest building in Chicago in a matter of seconds. That fresh air. It makes my head swim. Isn't it romantic? What do you think of the proposal? Marianne. You don't look so good. I tried to tell you down there that I have acrophobia. You all have our hang-ups, Marianne. Could we please go down, Jerry? Important to ask you. But I guess it'll have to wait. And wait it did. Air Raiders observe an unwritten rule. And that is never to eavesdrop on a lady as she examines her private thoughts. If no one will snitch, I'll break with tradition only because I have a personal, I mean a professional interest in this particular case. What a strange day. First with Carl and then with Jerry, I had the feeling they were both trying to tell me something. Maybe they were both trying to ask you something. Maybe they were trying to ask me something. What do men usually ask women? Uh-oh. They couldn't both be proposing. Oh, yes they could. I like them both very much. But marriage? It's out of the question. Carl is intelligent. I could explain my situation to him. He'd listen. But would he understand? He'd never understand. And Jerry, he wouldn't stand still long enough to listen. He might even get angry. I hope he wouldn't get angry. He's certainly the excitable type. I don't want to hurt them, but of course not. They're not your style. I could never be completely happy with either one of them. Or with both of them. I need someone who will understand and appreciate me. Exactly. Oh, what can I do? You'll think of something. You're a bright girl, Mary Ann. Bronsky residents, Jerry. Inside this stylish man's dress shirt, I'm a Sears value dress shirt label just popping with bride. And classic patterns and solids in short sleeves. You'll appreciate the perma-pressed polyester or polyester cotton blends for easy care. Plus, at low value prices, what a buy. Just look for me. The value dress shirt label at Sears Ben Store where style, sense and satisfaction combine to label me right for you. The natural look really helps do something for a woman. The classic look does too. Now there's a group of classic coordinates at Sears that really does up the natural look for spring. Wearing in a nubby, texture-rich blend of polyester rayon and flax. In two of this season's favorite colors, mauve or natural. Capture the double-breasted blazer, wrap, skirt, straight-leg trouser pants and open basket-weave shirts. Sears Spring Coordinate Group in sizes 8 to 16 will really help do something for you at most larger Sears retail stores. Hurry, hurry. Step right up to most Sears retail stores for the Sears National Hardware Week sale. Get special savings on these items. Save $20 on Sears Home and Shop vacuum. Now just $79.99. Get 20% off two sizes of trash cans. Now sale priced from $10.99 to $12.99. And get as much as $8 off a single-ever bathroom faucet. Get home big savings. Real straight shooting at the Sears National Hardware Week sale. Hurry, hurry. Prices may vary in Alaska and Hawaii. Andy Griffith again. At this exact moment, an Ascii residence is a beehive of activity in order to understand what's happening. Carl, have you seen my lime-green tie? A lime-green tie with a purple shirt? The salesman said it was mo. Where's my tie? I thought I'd wear it. A lime-green tie with a brown shirt? Well, the salesman called it burnt umber. Can I wear the tie? Please, Jerry? All right. If I can wear your lemon-yellow slacks. I hope Marianne's a good cook. Anything's better than your cooking, Carl. That's not true. I've got several specialties. Is one of them burnt umber? How do you get into these pants? The usual way. But it looks to me like you need a shoehorn. Watch it, Carl. It's bad enough I have to put up with you at dinner tonight. Well, I'm not exactly thrilled by that prospect either. Just don't go into your talk about how they preserve mummies. As long as you don't tell us how they temper steel. Okay, okay. Let's go. There's still a chance I can lose you on the way over to Marianne's. Fat chance, Jerry. Jerry and Carl seem on edge tonight. Preoccupied might be a better word. And the bus ride to Marianne's only made matters worse. Mm-mm, ba-ba, ba-dee-ba-ba. Would you stop that noise, Jerry? You're embarrassing me. You're wearing a lime-green tie and a brown shirt, and I'm embarrassing you. Just calm down. Are you nervous? Nervous? Why should I be nervous? Maybe you think Marianne's going to tell you that she likes me better. Ha! This girl's got taste, believe me. I'm just wondering how we can restrain you after she chooses me. We don't want this in the papers. Don't strain yourself, Chum, because she's going to pick old Jerry. Domestic squabble erupts into violence on south side. Will honeymoon in Joliette. At the state penitentiary. We'll settle down on the south side and have lots of little burnout skis. That's a sobering thought. In no time, Jerry had them celebrating their golden wedding anniversary in the Steelworkers Union Hall. Carl, who had a firmer grip on reality, pulled the cord and got them off the bus in time to be at Marianne's door at the appointed hour. Well, this is it. It sure is. The best man wins. I'm sure I will. Cut it out and ring the bell already. How's my tie look, Jerry? The tie looks fine, Carl. Hello, boys. This is a surprise. You're both on time. Where did you get those pants, Jerry? From Carl. You can tell he doesn't have any taste. And Carl, that tie. We're on Earth. And Jerry's. Isn't it awful? Come on in. Dinner's almost ready. What a fuse pest. That girl can certainly cook up a story. Fried chicken green beans, homemade bread, mountains of mashed potatoes. Of course, the brothers were on their best behavior. Here, Marianne, let me help you with that. Here, I've got it, Marianne. Thanks, boys. I can handle this. By the time the strawberry shortcake rolled around, the brothers were stuffed. Is this a meal or is this a meal? I'm on compliments to the chef, Marianne. Room for more, fellas? Let me loosen my belt. I'm ready. The way to a man's heart is strawberry shortcake. There's a procedure that cattlemen follow before sending their livestock off to their fate. It's called fattening up. And unless I miss my guess, that's what's going on here. More dessert, anyone? Oh, any more and I'll explode. I'm stuffed. I feel like a mummy. No mummies, Carl. Just a figure of speech, Jerry. Well, what do you say we do the dishes? That's the least we can do. Carl, Jerry, before you do the dishes, I have something I want to tell both of you. A speech? Not exactly. Is anything the matter, Marianne? Of course not. I just have something to say to you. Oh, oh? Uh-oh. Here it comes. What I'm about to say won't be easy. I've known you both for some time and we've become very close. That's why it's so hard for me to do this. That's all right. Carl understands, don't you, Carl? I don't think she's finished. Oh, thank you, Carl. What I'm trying to say is that I like you both very much. You're almost like, like brothers to me. Uh-oh. Oh, this isn't coming outright at all. Maybe you better do the dishes. Sure, Marianne. Come on, Jerry. I get to wash, Carl. It was my idea. I'm going to wash. You always get to wash. All right. You can wash. Uh, he's going to wash. We won't be long. Don't hurry on my account. I can see I'll have to eavesdrop on Marianne again. Oh, what a mess. At least they're doing the dishes, Marianne. Watch what you're doing, Carl. Let's hope there'll be some dishes left. What can I tell them? Because you're kind and considerate. Why can't I just come out and say it? Because you're... I need to be treated differently. Delicately. Like a piece of fine china. Be careful, Jerry. I get the feeling that Carl and Jerry don't really understand me. How could they? You're such a wonderfully complex person, Marianne, with so many moods and feelings. Go on, Mr. narrator. Pardon me? I said... How long have you been listening to me? And how long have you been listening to me? Listening to you? We've been... Did you hear that, Marianne? Carl says he thinks you've got another boyfriend. She does, Jerry. Jerry, what is going on out here? Uh-oh. Is this guy on the level, Marianne? Completely. Is this what you were trying to tell us at dinner? Something like that. I don't feel so good all of a sudden. You don't look so good, either. Well, I get the picture. No hard feelings, Carl? Nah. I guess we had it coming. No hard feelings, Jerry? No. No feelings. Fellas, don't go away like that. Here's two tickets to tonight's socks game. Baseball. At a time like this. Oh, come on, Jerry. Let's go to the ball game. We're alone now, Mr. Narrator. I hope you know what you're doing, Marianne. Do you hardly know anything about me? What's there to know? You're not married, are you? No, no, nothing like that. But what do you see in a guy like me who eavesdrops on people all the time? You eavesdropped on the right people? I'm just a narrator, Marianne. And not a very good one. Do you know how much a narrator makes? Mr. Narrator? Crazy, Marianne. You don't even know my name. Is it longer than Bernofsky? Are you ready for this? Stanley Paranofsky. That's only one letter more. It could make a difference. Your heart's Stanley. What does it say? Beautiful girl in Chicago. I love you. And I love you, too. Which makes me the happiest guy in Chicago. Then why don't you kiss me or something like that? You mean something like this? Well, that was a year ago, and I'm still the happiest guy in Chicago. And Marianne is still the most beautiful girl in Chicago, even though her last name is longer. And the brother's Bernofsky? Well, they're still bachelors. But they're about to become the honorary uncle's Bernofsky. Sears Best Whisper Glide Travis Rods offer you more features than any other line of Travis Rods anywhere. Whisper Glide. So if you're decorating or redecorating, choose these. Whisper Glide. Their design features remarkably smooth drawing, and Sears' own non-tilt carriers help keep your draperies straight. Best yet, there's a size and a style of Whisper Glide Travis Rods to fit just about every decorating idea. Whisper Glide. Our best at most larger Sears retail stores. I sell draperies at Sears. Yesterday, a lady came in and said that she'd been in and out of about every store in town looking for draperies and at this point didn't know what she wanted anymore. I asked questions about her tastes and decor and then made suggestions. She was thrilled. She found what she wanted and learned a little too. It made me feel good to know that I helped her out. Sears people are friendly people who help you find what you want. Join millions of Americans and shop the easy way with a Sears credit card. All you do to apply is call toll-free 800-526-0444. It's your entry to shopping convenience and quality merchandise. Your card will be accepted at over 3,600 Sears stores across the nation. And you can choose from over 100,000 Sears products and services. Even use it for your catalog orders. In the store or over the phone, just say charge it. Call 800-526-0444. New Jersey residents call 800-652-2777 for your Sears credit card. Has been brought to you by Sears Robot and Company where our policy is satisfaction guaranteed or your money back. Sears where America shops. Old Brothers was written by Mark Trello produced and directed by Fletcher Markle. Your host was Andy Griffin. Our stars were Stephen Keats and Janet Waldo. Also heard were Corey Burton, Tony Pope and Byron Kane. The music for Sears Radio Theater was composed and conducted by Nelson Riddle. Mark Gilmore speaking. The Elliott Lewis production of Sears Radio Theater is a presentation of CDI. Eight ball in the side pocket. He'll never make that shot. Hey, that's a beauty. Yeah, he cut it to the inside. Say, where's Kessler tonight? He's out walking with his dog. Sure does like that dog, doesn't he? Well, you know he had a heart attack last Christmas and he's got exercise to build up his heart. Walking is exercise? It's a lot better exercise than pushing that pool cue, Bingo. It helps your circulation and that's what Kessler needs. We could all use some exercise. Look at that cut. I don't know, shooting pool with this bun sure takes it out of me. Are we moving too fast for you, Bingo? Is the strain too extreme? The strain of exercise may be too extreme if it's been a while. See your doctor first. That kind of exercise program is right for you. Contact your American Heart Association for more information. We're fighting for your life. I'm lost and lonely, scared and sad, trembling at the thought of my love is yours, but at times you're so cold. If life's like this, take me before I... This song was written by a man now serving time in a state prison. Most of the men and women in prison today are children and many abused children grow up to abuse their own children. Child abusers can be helped. Find out how. Write, prevent child abuse, Box 2866, Chicago, Illinois, 60690. Please stop the hurt. I've suffered since my birth. Let's fight. A message of the head council and the National Committee for Prevention of Child Abuse. Tomorrow's Sears Radio Theater with Vincent Price as your host. Let's listen. Amy, you mentioned a sensation. Needles piercing the skin of your throat the night of that first dream. Did you feel any soreness? None at all. Indicate with your finger the point where this occurred. A little below my throat. Here. So be sure and tune in tomorrow to Sears Radio Theater.