 Hi, it's Bridget, and welcome to Sunday Morning Coffee with Bridget. Well, it's technically Monday. It's the wee hours of the morning about 3 a.m. Central Time on Monday, April 24th, 2023. I'm recording this episode in the room of my grandmother's care facility as I sit and hold space for her as she makes her transition. My grandma's 98 years old, 98. Nearly a century, she's been on this earth, and that's a long time, my friends. I record this respectfully and in honor of everyone that has been in this place that has held the vigil, whether you've sat by the bedside of your loved one during their hospice or palliative care time, or whether you arrived too late to say you're human goodbye. Many of you will understand exactly what the energy is like in this moment. In these moments, a string of time overlapping each other as you listen to every breath, wondering if it will be the last one. I was here earlier today. I spent a few hours here, and I decided to return this evening to stay the night so that my grandma wouldn't be alone. Now I know it's true we're never truly alone, and as soon as I say that, I feel this overwhelming sense that we're not. Over my right shoulder I sense someone, I literally thought someone came into the room, so I paused the audio and nobody was there. At least no one in physical form. Now I recognize that it might seem odd that I am recording this podcast episode. Literally by the bedside of my grandmother during this very tender, sensitive and beautiful time, and I know that it is a gift and it is poignant and it is extraordinarily important that I share it with you right now, because we can all learn from this. We can all connect into this understanding of grief, of a sense of loss, and also in the midst of the loss of the losing. We can recognize the gain, the sheer beauty of a life well lived, fully lived, wrapped in love, knowing that there have been struggles. Oh yes, this woman lived through depression, through a couple of wars, and through the death of her husband about 15 years ago. Her life partner, someone whom she fell madly deeply and fully in love with. In fact, at her bedside there is a beautiful letter that my grandpa wrote to my grandma. At the time of my grandfather's death he was in hospice as well. I was in the room, and my grandma was also in the room. I was sleeping in the chair next to him in his bed, and I was there. At the moment he crossed over, at the moment his spirit left his body. That is something, an experience I will never forget. It was transformative and profound for me, and it gave me a new appreciation for this work, for the understanding of the dance that we have between spirit and human form, and of the incredible intimacy we have with our own spirit in these moments, so sacred. So for those of you who haven't been, who weren't able to be for whatever reason, by the bedside of your loved one, know right here and right now that it is okay. You can forgive yourself for not getting there in time. You can forgive yourself for deciding not to go, for waiting one more day, for it being too late. While all those things might feel true in the human timeline of life, please, please know that there is never, never an expiration date for love. There is never, it is never too late to love and to let go, to heal, and to release. I know as I'm sitting here right now contemplating in the wee hours of the morning, thinking about my day tomorrow, or today rather, wondering, what is this for? Why am I here? Why? Am I here for grandma? So she truly is not alone, or am I here for myself? Is there something that I'm hoping to receive from her that I can't already, or don't already have? Or is it purely the fact that my source, her source, and your source are one, that in these moments of pure intimacy, when our spirit is connected, and our heart is open, and we are pure and innocent, brought back to our very core foundation, our basic light energy, maybe it is this, maybe this is the point. I'm reminded of how miraculous and incredible the machinery of our human body is and how it just keeps going. Even when the mind is done, and sometimes for years, especially for those who struggle with an Alzheimer's, or some sort of memory lapse component of this human experience. I'm feeling very calm in this moment, and I don't think it's just tiredness or fatigue. I think it's the awareness of the choice that I have to be here now, that you have to be here now, that grandma has to stay or to go. She gets to choose the time. She gets to choose when. And for you, as you're listening to this right here and right now, you get to choose how you are going to move through life. With what are you going to step forward into this very new day today? How are you going to engage with the opportunities you have to fully live? Can you let go of the pain of your past? Can you not heal yourself? To what end is the suffering? To what point is the guilt serving you? To what purpose has this pain? Regret, loss, sadness? It's been about enough time, hasn't it? What can you forgive in yourself that can help move you forward, that can give you the freedom that you need in this now moment to be more fully here and present in this lifetime that you have been gifted through the awareness of the death, through the awareness of the loss of others in your life? To what can you truly believe as you continue to live? How will you utilize the gift of this day, this one day, just today, just now, just this moment? Just today. Do not wait one more day. It's true what they say. Don't wait to tell someone you love them. Don't wait to say what you need to say. Do it. Do it in a letter. Speak it to the universe. Say it to their face or call them on the phone, whatever you need to do to release whatever it is that you're holding, the love that you are holding back from giving to another to knowing that you did absolutely everything that you shared and gave all the love that you could to the ones you love, to the person you love. But you not give yourself this opportunity. And if the person has crossed over, if they are in the afterlife, I promise you they can hear you. They can receive you and you can be free from the guilt that you carry for whatever it is you feel was left undone or left unsaid. But, and this is huge. Listen to me for the people who are in your life now, the regrets that you have. Take this opportunity to heal those things, to go to those places and to repair that harm. If not now, when? When? Never. Why would you live each day suffering? Until what? Until you die? Don't wait to live. And do not wait to love fully, deeply and completely yourself as much as you love others. You're worth it. I promise. Thank you for listening and thank you for keeping me company in the wee hours of this morning.