 I've been there, you've been there, we've all been there. A big test or competition is on the line and you know you've put everything you had in preparation and yet you still don't get the result you want. You don't feel good. You feel you've failed. Psych to goers. First and foremost, let's define failure. If you're expecting something super clean and clear, sorry to say, it's not. Failure is this objective thing as a success. Every person defines it differently for themselves. For example, an interesting take on failure was stated by Thomas Edison who said, I've not failed 10,000 times. I've successfully found 10,000 ways that will not work. The definition is based on your values and expectations and you are unique to you. Sometimes though, we let outside parties like friends or family define it for us. Despite our varied definitions of failure, the one common thing that we all share is the initial feeling of failing really sucks. So let's look at several ways on how we could change our perspective on failure. Take the edge off the sting and make it work for us. Failure is your biggest teacher. Society really pushes emphasis on success and tends to ignore failure. Think of all the perfect lives we see posted everywhere on social media. However, this does not provide any depth of knowledge, thus benefit anyone. According to a research conducted by Madsen and Desai, failure can be your biggest teacher in life. The research found that knowledge gained from failure lasts longer and is often more impactful than knowledge gained from success. This can be illustrated with the flights of the Space Shuttle Atlantis and the Challenger in 2002. A piece of the Space Shuttle Atlantis broke off and caused damage, but the damage didn't hinder the mission. As a result, there was little follow-up or investigation following the incident. A year later, during the flight of the Space Shuttle, the Challenger, another piece of the Space Shuttle broke off that was somewhat similar to the Atlantis. But this time, disaster ensued, resulting in the death of the astronauts and violent destruction of the shuttle. This tragic incident prompted a major investigation, which resulted in 29 recommended changes to prevent future disasters. In essence, failure can really be seen as an alternate term for learning opportunity. Failure teaches you to be kind to yourself. Let's imagine what if your life is only made of a constant stream of success. Everything you do or try just falls into your lap and you've known nothing but riches, wealth and comfort. You've never had to pull yourself up from an abyss or struggle to improve. When we never truly experience the grit of failure, this encourages taking everything for granted. You don't think, you just float along. Failure gives us the push to re-evaluate the important things in our lives. Who are you and how do you define yourself? It's a great chance for you to be kind to yourself and practice self-compassion instead of judging and self- approving based on the materialistic or what you've done. You learn to accept yourself just for what you already are at your core. Dr. Kristin Neff, a strong advocate for self-compassion, published a study. Based on that study, students who practiced self-compassion after failing in an exam will proceed to study harder for future exams. 3. You can know success only if you've experienced failure. There is no light without the dark. We've heard the phrase, but what does it mean? Similarly, by experiencing failure, you will obtain a better perspective on success. The accumulation of failures over time gives you an increasingly better sense of what will probably work and what probably won't work. And success is built upon this knowledge. This very perspective makes basketball superstar Michael Jordan the athlete that he is today. He says, I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times I've been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over again in my life. That's why I succeed. 4. Failure isn't always really failure. Did you know some of the most groundbreaking inventions we've had happened when the inventors were researching something completely different? Some of these include superglue, microwave ovens, pacemakers, and even penicillin. Essentially, they failed at their original goal. But considering what came out instead, can you really call that failure? 5. Failure is a step on the journey, not the end of it. When you are faced with failure, this usually does not mean the end. Failure is a real and common experience. However, barring extreme circumstances, it's not a termination. It's part of the human condition and a natural occurrence that preps you to achieve success in the future. Ever shop or browse online? You've probably heard of Jack Ma, co-founder of Alibaba Group. The journey to the top wasn't some fairytale golden path either. In a public event, he told the story of multiple failures in his life, which included being the sole individual not to get a job at a fast food joint. Rejection at being a hotel server and applying to Harvard 10 times with a sound rejection each time. Jack Ma reflected that the experiences of these failures prepared him for the path to becoming a CEO later on. Failure is a chance to learn, and although it doesn't feel very good at the time, a change in perspective can help turn it into a climbing hold instead of a rock blocking your path. We understand though that sometimes when you face failures in your life, you may become debilitated. These can hit you hard. Now that you know, bouncing back is a very real option. Seek professional assistance if you need it so that you can continue onwards and upwards. 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