 Mother, is Maxwell House really the only coffee in the world? Well, your father says so. And your father knows best. Yes, it's Father Knows Best transcribed in Hollywood starring Robert Young's father. A half hour visit with your neighbor, The Anderson. Brought to you by America's favorite coffee, Maxwell House. The coffee that's always good to the last drop. I think it was Damon Runyon who said, When I was 20, I was convinced that my father was the stupidest man in the world. When I was 30, I marveled at how much he had learned in the short space of 10 years. That's the way it is with most of us, isn't it? Father brings home the bacon, pays the rent, but he gets mighty little credit from the rest of us. That's where the Anderson children are different. They think their father is a pretty wonderful guy. As a matter of fact, they've even entered his name in the Father of the Year contest. Now they've got to write a composition extolling his virtues. And that's exactly what they're doing. Like this. How about saying he's a terrific baseball player? But he isn't. He's tall. That's fine. We think our father should be named the father of the year because he's tall. That's a great reason. Well, it's better than nothing. There must be something we can think of. He's generous. Are you kidding? Never mind, Kathy. Gets a half a dollar. How about he lets me borrow his necktie? But it's got to be something big. Like... Like what? That's a trouble. I don't know. How about he lets Fred borrow a sock? Well, if it isn't winking, blinkin' and nod. Oh, hiya, Mom. What are we three cooking up now? Mother, we're having a terrible time. I can see that. We can't figure out what's good about Daddy. What? Kathy. Mother, it sounds terrible when she says it like that. It certainly does. But we can't think of anything unusual. About your father? We don't mean he has to have three heads or anything. That's the relief. We've got a lot of things written down, but we've got to say it in 25 words. Or less. Betty, I don't know what you're talking about. For the father of the year contest, we think Dad ought to win. Oh. Well, I'm sure he'll be very pleased. Only we can't figure out why he should. That isn't what she means, Mother. She means we can't figure out what to say. That's what I said. Let's see if we can't figure it out together. Your father works very hard to give us all the things we need, doesn't he? Well, he does his best to keep us happy and healthy, even if we don't always think he's right. What kind of a reason is that? I think it's a very good reason. He shares all our little problems and keeps his own worries and troubles to himself. He's considerate, unselfish, generous. I only get 35 cents a week. Kathy! I do! He's generous in a different way, Angel. He gives us all his love and all his attention. He devotes his entire life to making us the sort of people the entire community will respect and admire. Does that solve your problem? He's quite a guy, isn't he? Yes, dear. He's quite a guy. But how can we say all that in 25 words? Or less? Well... Hi, father! We're in the den, Dad. Well, the mother handin' all her little chicks. Hello, dear. Hello, honey. You know... You didn't kiss me! I beg your pardon. There you are, kitten. Thank you. I'm here, too. You are at that, aren't you? Is that better? Much. Want me to hang your coat up, Dad? Yes, thank you. I'll be back in a second. That's fine. Margaret, what's going on around here? Why, nothing, dear. We just think you're wonderful, that's all. We think you're the most wonderful daddy in the whole world. Oh. Uh, who did what to who and how much is it going to cost me? Jen. We didn't do anything, father, to anybody. Somebody must have done something. Here you are, Dad. I brought you the evening paper. What are you kids after? We aren't after anything, father. Are we, Kathy? Well, I only get thirty-five cents a week and a daddy thing, Kathy! Jen, it's really very simple. The children and I have been reviewing your qualifications and I'd say they were definitely impressed. I see. Do you think I'll be elected? Well, you have, Daddy. There you are. It's practically unanimous. Fine. Now, suppose you tell me one other thing. What am I running for? Oh, didn't you know? Mother, why don't you tell him, dear? It'll make him very proud. Good mom. If we tell him, it won't be any fun. Oh, go ahead, tell him. He's a good guy. Well... I'll tell him. Father. Yes, Betty? We've nominated you as Springfield's father of the year. What? Isn't that nice, dear? Well, I... Naturally, I didn't expect anything like that. We figure you ought to win it, hands down. Only we can't figure out why, Kathy! That sounds more like my family. What Kathy means, dear, is that they can't seem to compress your virtues into 25 words. Or less. Well, that's, uh... I mean, you can hardly expect me to help you with a thing like that. Oh, we don't want you to help, Father. We'll think of something. And if we can't, we'll make something up. Holy cow. Kathy, why don't you... Ooh! Now what did I do? Nothing. Go answer the phone. Gee whiz, every time I say something, everybody... What's this, uh, father of the year thing about, anyway? It's a contest being run by the PTA, Jim. They think the children of Springfield ought to know best about their father. And the winner gets a plaque. And gets his picture in the paper and everything. It's a very nice idea, but... Well... Okay. Excuse me, Dad, I'll be right back. And hurry up, we've got work to do. Okay. See, it wasn't even for me. Why couldn't bud? Kathleen. Gee whiz. Father, is it all right if we use these for scratch paper? Well, seeing that it's... Leave those alone. Kathy. Those are my subscriptions and I need them. Father. But I need them. Wait a minute. Subscriptions for what? The young and old weekly. I have to sell four subscriptions. Kathy, how many times must I tell you you're not to bother the neighbors with those ridiculous subscriptions? These aren't ridiculous, Daddy. They're $2. I wouldn't care. And if I draw the best bird, I win a buzzsaw. You win a what? An electric buzzsaw. It's portable. Oh, dear. And it's a drill, too, and it makes holes up to a quarter of an inch. Kathy. And I can draw a bird just as good as Patty Davis can, so why shouldn't I? The last time you got mixed up in one of these subscription deals... Dem, it won't hurt if all she has to sell is four. But you know the way these people operate. It's just a come on. No, it isn't, Daddy. It's a contest. Kathy, I don't want you running around the neighborhood with a portable buzzsaw. Jen. And besides, I don't want my child taken advantage of by every fly-by-night outfit that comes to Springfield. But everybody else is doing it. Jen, if it's going to make her happy... Please, Daddy. All right, go ahead. Oh, thank you, Daddy. You're the most wonderful Daddy in the whole world. Oh, sure. I mean, I have the two dollars now. I didn't say... Here you are. Thank you, Daddy. Young and old weekly. Any time anybody in this family has to sell anything... Jen, it's only two dollars. That isn't the point. Dad, it was Joe Phillips. Fine. That makes me very happy. The point is... But I haven't told you yet. He wants me to go away. The point is... You mean I can? But would you please... Go where? Up to his cousin's farm for the weekend. Oh, how wonderful! Wait a minute. Didn't we have a deal about cleaning up the leaves? Holy cow, Dad. I let you use the car Tuesday night on condition that you take care of the leaves on Saturday. And if you think... Jen, it'll do him so much good to get out in the fresh air. Honey, he's got to learn that he has certain responsibilities. The same as anyone else. Of course, Jen, but just this one... Gosh, Dad, all the other fellas' fathers said they could. I am not all the other fellas' fathers, and... When would you be back? Monday morning, in time for school. Well... Please, Dad. I still don't like the idea, but... All right. Hot dog! Boy, are we going to have a time? Just a minute. Where are you going? Over to Joe's. I'll be back in time for dinner. But I thought you and the girls were going to write... What was that, Dad? Never mind. Don't be late, bud. I won't. I don't know. Daddy! What is it getting? Do you suppose we could use two subscriptions? Kathy, don't be a pig. We could have one magazine for upstairs and one for downstairs. This is the last magazine I buy this year. Is that clear? Betty. I'll see who it is. We don't want to take Betty away from her work, do we? Thank you, Father. At least I've got one child who appreciates her father. Yes, sir. Sticks right to it. Yes? Miss Betty Anderson? Uh, yes, but you can call me Joe. I mean, does Miss Betty Anderson live here? I've got a package for her. I'll take it. You sign here. All right. There you are. Thanks. Call him Joe. Betty! Yes, Father? There's a package for you. For me? I don't know, dear. I've left my super X-ray penetrating eyeglasses at the office. Where is it, Father? Let me show you. Wait a minute. Why all the excitement? You've gotten packages before. I know, but Father, gorgeous. Who sent it? I don't know. There ought to be a card. What is it, Jim? Margaret, I think you ought to see this. I'll be right in, dear. Here it is. It's Mother. It's from Donald Martin. And you're going to send it right back. Isn't it? Send it back. What right does a young squirt like Donald Martin have to send you a diamond pin? A diamond pin? Jim, you're joking. Well, look at it. He couldn't possibly... Why, Jim, that isn't real. It looks real. Dear, if those were genuine diamonds, the pin would cost hundreds of dollars. It would? Can't I please keep it? Even if it's imitation, what right does he have? There's no harm in accepting an inexpensive gift from a friend, is there? But you only met him a few weeks ago. We've had three days. I still say you ought to send it back. Mother, please, Jim. Don't you think you're being a little old-fashioned? I don't see anything old-fashioned about it. Young ladies don't accept jewelry from young men. But, Father, it's costume jewelry. I wouldn't care. Well, there's no point in my arguing against the entire family. You mean it's all right if I keep it? I suppose so. If I don't say yes, I'll never hear the end of it. Oh, thank you, Father. And Mother, you're wonderful. Where are you going, dear? Did I miss something? No, I was just thinking. The only way I'll get to be the father of the year is to fill in the entry blank myself. And if you want to enjoy good coffee, remember this important fact. Our Maxwell house is three times richer in flavor coffees than hundreds of other brands. Ten to twelve times richer than some. Three times richer in flavor coffees. So that's why Maxwell house tastes so good. Right. You see, experts classify all the world's coffees into just two groups. Filler coffees, which are long on bulk and short on flavor, and the much rarer flavor coffees, which add real zest and body to a blend. Now, Maxwell house buys more flavor coffees than anyone else in the whole world. And our Maxwell house is made first and foremost from three choice flavor coffees. Indeed, Maxwell house is three times richer in flavor coffees than hundreds of other brands. Ten to twelve times richer than some. And when you add the traditional Maxwell house skills in blending and roasting to these superb flavor coffees, it's no wonder only Maxwell house coffee has that famous good to the last drop flavor. I've always said Maxwell house is the best coffee ever. Lots of folks feel that way, ma'am. In fact, more people buy and enjoy our Maxwell house coffee than any other brand at any price. Well, naturally, Maxwell house is the one coffee that's always good to the last drop. A prophet is not without honor saving his own country and in his own house. Well, substitute father for prophet and you've got Jim Anderson late this gloomy Monday afternoon. He's trudging slowly up the walk that leads to his home. Wondering sadly about the sudden demise of his candidacy as father of the year. Naturally, it isn't because his kids aren't genuinely fond of him. He's been telling himself that all day, but, well, let's just say that he isn't a very happy man. Like this. Jim! Hey, Jim! Hmm? Oh, hello, Sam. Have you got a minute? I'd like to read something to you. Sure. What do you want to read? It's this father of the year contest. Your kids put you in that, didn't they? They, uh, they mentioned something about it. Wait till you hear what Jimmy wrote about me. Listen to this. I think my father should be named the father of the year because he's strong as Hercules, wise as Solomon, rich as Rockefeller. Get this, handsome as Clark Gable. Oh, no. That's what it says. Handsome as Clark Gable. And I think he's the finest father that ever lived. How do you like that? It's a little reserved, isn't it? I mean, well, have a heart, Jim. He only had 25 words. Well, he got in some pretty good licks at that. Hercules, Solomon. Don't forget Clark Gable. Sam, I'd say you were a lead pipe cinch. Stop pulling my leg, will ya? But it sure nice to know your kid thinks you're a great guy, isn't it? Yes, it sure is. Gosh, with three of them over at your place, what they say about you? Oh, I don't know. They, uh, they said I'd better not look at it. It might get me too conceited. I'll bet they really laid it on thick. Yes, I guess they did. Well, I'd better be getting inside. Okay, Jim, I just thought you'd get a kick out of this. Oh, I did. See you later, Clark. Mr. Gable to you. Well, after all, it wasn't very important. They just got busy, I suppose. Can't expect a bunch of normal kids. Clark Gable. Honey, I'm home! Jim? No, dear, it's Clarence McPhilpots. Well, come into the den, Clarence. We need you. Yes, madam. You have but two commandant McPhilpots the fearless. What's the matter, honey? What's wrong? Hello, father. Jim, I think you ought to have a little talk with Betty. All right, where do I take my coat off? And then you can talk to Bud. What's the matter with him? He'll tell you. And Betty, crying isn't going to do you any good. I know, mother, but... Oh, father! Now, let's take it easy, Princess. Everything's going to work out fine. Jim, the whole dinner's going to burn to a crisp if I don't... Go ahead, honey. I'll take over in here. Bud's doing his homework in the dining room when you're ready. I'll call him. Betty... They told me not to wear this suit out in the rain, but if you'd like to cry on my shoulder. Oh! Well, that's better, isn't it? Father, what am I going to do? About what, sweetheart? Donald Martin. Oh, what about him? Well, he must be a very wealthy young man. He is wealthy at all. He charged it to his father. That's a pretty serious problem, isn't it? I've never been so embarrassed. You know, Princess, that's the nice part of being young. When a thing like this happens, you can laugh at it. I'm not laughing! I know, baby, but you should. This isn't the worst thing that's ever happened. Now, I'll tell you what. We'll forget all about Donald Martin, and then after dinner, maybe we'll all go to the movies. How would you like that? Father, would you mind very much if I didn't go to the movies, I mean? I thought you liked the movies. I do, but I just thought of something I have to do. All right, sweetheart, you do anything that's going to make you happy. Just remember, you're still my little girl. Thank you, Father. I'll remember. Fine. Now... The crook! The crook! Excuse me, dear, I'd better investigate the crime wave. I'm all right now, Father. Of course you are. Well, what's going on out here? Dad, were crooks? Well, they're a bunch of crooks. What happened, Kitten? My subscriptions. I turned them in, and the man said I had to sell four more because it was a tie for first. Now, see, how many children were in the contest? 602. And how many were tied for first? 602. Well, at least it came out even. You know what? That's a very clever deduction. I'll show them the crooks. She'll be right in, Betty. I've got to talk to Bud for a few minutes, then you and I'll sit down and you can tell me all about it. Okay. But just with... Oh, dear, nothing but tragedies. Well, what happened to you? Oh, hiya, Dad. Hi, I guess I got into a fight. It sure looks that way. Have you put anything on your eye? Mom put it... Holy cow, Dad, what right did he have to... Wait a minute, one thing at a time. You know, I haven't seen you since Saturday. Did you have a nice weekend? That's when I had the fight. What right did he have to... Bud, you didn't have a fight up at the farm. Oh, sure I did. The whole thing was a racket. He wanted us to work because the hired man quit. Who did? Joe Phillips' cousin. You didn't fight with him, did you? Oh, gosh, no, it was Charlie. Who is Charlie? He said I wasn't working as hard as he was. And look at these blisters. How could I get blisters if I wasn't working hard? In other words, you didn't have a very good time. All we did was work for two whole days. And you've still got the leaves to do, haven't you? Oh, that's what I wanted to talk to you about, Dad. Can I do them next weekend? I'm so tired, I can hardly move. Well, how would it be if we both got up a little early on Wednesday? You mean we can do them together? It won't take us very long that way, will it? Oh, gosh, no. All right, we've got a date for Wednesday. Oh, thanks, Dad. Boy, is that a relief. And you know what? What? Just for that, the first time it snows this winter, I'll shovel the driveway for half price. That's my boy. Bud! Now what does she want? Why don't you go in and find out? What do you want? Holy cow. I'm doing my homework. But it's important. Well, bring it in here. Find them. What's going on out there? Not a thing, honey. We're just breaking in a new set of eardrums. Go ahead, Bud. See what your sister wants. Good night. Just because she's a girl, I have to stop whatever I'm doing every time she gets a dopey idea. I don't know. It's a tough life. Well, did you get the children all straightened out? Oh, sure. I'm a great little fixer. I am. Of course, I'm just as much to blame as Betty about the pin. But I could have sworn... Excuse me, dear. I've got to put these biscuits in the oven. There. You know, honey, I'm not much of a father. Why, Jim? I'm not. If I were a decent father, I wouldn't permit these things to happen. Jim, they aren't babies any longer. They're growing up. They've got to learn these things their own way. And when they stumble and fall, I'm supposed to stand by and watch. Is that it? Of course not. But how can I make you understand? Happy. Well, put some biscuits in the oven and the children gather like flies, don't they? Father, may we read something to you, please? Not if it's about a sale. It isn't about a sale, Dad. All right. Read on, McDuff. It's to the PTA. We think our father should be named the father of the year because he's our guidepost on the road of life. Yet when we stray from paths, he's marked so well. He doesn't say, I told you so. That's very lovely, dear. Betty wrote it. And I agreed with it. And it's exactly 25 words. Aren't you going to say something, Jim? I, um, thank you very much, all three of you. We mean every word of it, Father. I'm sure you do. That's what makes it... Margaret. Yes, dear? Would you say I looked anything like Clark Gable? Morning, noon and night, few pleasures give so much downright satisfaction as a steaming cup of truly good coffee. That's why it pays to remember this fact. Maxwell House is three times richer in flavor coffees than hundreds of other brands. Flavor coffees, you know, are the extra choice premium varieties, the ones that add real full-bodied richness to a blend. And Maxwell House is three times richer in these fine flavor coffees than hundreds of other brands. That fact, plus the one and only Maxwell House technique of blending and roasting, explains why Maxwell House alone has that wonderful good to the last drop flavor. So for fragrant, heartwarmingly good coffee, coffee at its flavorful best, take home a pound of our Maxwell House coffee. Start enjoying the one coffee that's always good to the last drop. Once again, it's breakfast time in the White Frame House on Maple Street. It's a bright, sunshiney day, and the Anderson kitchen is a cheerful spot, with bacon sizzling on the grill and conversation crackling at the table, like this. But, Father, if you win, we'll all have to go to the dinner. Fine. And how would you feel if you were the father of the year and your very own daughter? Betty, you are not going to get a strapless evening gown, so let's not discuss it. Jonathan creepers. Even up around Joe Phillips' cousin's farm, all the kids had gasoline scooters. Good. And one kid was only 11. May I have another cup of coffee, please? Of course, dear. Jimmy Woody says next year he's going to get a whole dollar for his allowance, and all I get is 35 cents. There you are. Thank you. If I were going to be the father of the year, I'd be ashamed to have my daughter wear an old evening gown with straps on it. May I have the cream and sugar? How would you like to ride around on a bicycle? Dad, pass the cream and sugar to your father. There's one kid in the third grade, and even he gets more than 35 cents. Here you are, Dad. Thank you very much. I don't mean it has to be black or anything like that. More toast, Jim. Have you heard the big news? No, what? There's a new quick and easy way to make perfect coconut cream pie. How? With new, jello, coconut cream pudding and pie filling. How easy is it? You just add milk and bring to a boil. It takes about five minutes. It's delicious and economical, too. See you later. I've got to tell my wife about this. Tell your wife about jello, coconut cream pudding and pie filling for red-letter desserts. Join us again next week when we'll be back with Father Knows Best starring Robert Young as Jim Anderson, with Roy Bargy in the Maxwell House Orchestra, in our cast with Rhoda Williams as Betty, Gene Vanderpile, Ted Donaldson, Norma Jean-Nelson, Stanley Ferrar, and yours truly, Bill Forman. So until next Thursday, good night and good luck from the makers of Maxwell House, America's favorite brand of coffee, always good to the last drop. Father Knows Best was transcribed in Hollywood and written by Ed James. Join Mr. Keen, Tracer of Lost Persons, tonight on NBC.