 Hello everyone, welcome to another NARC's Fiverr Live video And in this one, we're gonna be talking about When you run into them after no contact and yes, of course, I already know and I can understand that it may be Quite an uncomfortable experience for you. Of course the reason why I say that is because after everything that you've been through with them All of the abuse, the manipulation, the deception, the discard, the devaluation Of course, all of these things are gonna have an effect on you when you do run into them It's gonna be a very uncomfortable experience for you if I hasn't been already And of course I can understand that and that is why I wanted to put this video to make you aware of it and what they're going to do Or to help you understand what they've already done So yeah, that's why I had to get on here today to give you this message and What will happen when you do run into them after no contact as You can probably already guess They will Try to manipulate you And that is the number one thing that they're going to do and not only that As I've said before a narcissist my default all they can do is Manipulate you there's nothing else that they can do The best you will ever get from them is an illusion. You will never get anything real and You will already know that if you ever had a conversation With a narcissist, I'm sure you have You will know that it's just full of manipulation lies and deception Possibly even some future taken as well And that's really all it is. That's all you ever get from them But yes when you run into them after no contact, they will try to manipulate you that's a guarantee and That doesn't always mean that they will try to have a conversation with you It may also mean that they may just treat you with contempt. I say you're worthless or beneath that consideration and They may do that in the way where They are playing the victim so you're meant to have done something to them or another thing they might do is as though they are preying on you and Just tell themselves all these things about you in the head so that they can feel more comfortable around you because remember they are very insecure and they do have low self-esteem and Of course that has to go somewhere. They have to protect it on to you And they will continue to do that even after no contact after the discard When you run into them again and the reason why they will do that is because they've assigned that role to you and Just how it goes with narcissists once they assign that role to you. That's it for life. They will always expect you to identify as this person who they deem to be less than desirable and how they perceive it So but then that can change as well. Sometimes they can Reidealize you and begin to see you as being perfect again. They'll put you on this pedestal just so they can knock you off again and Yes, when they do that It is only a matter of time until they devalue you again it is only a matter of time until they do that and I Don't want to get too deep into that because that is quite a complex topic something that needs a video on its own, but it's pretty much to do with the emotional under development Where they're stuck at the age of Some of them maybe two or three years old Well, they see things in black and white. So something is either perfect or flawed good or bad right or wrong and Yes, when they re-idealize you that makes you as perfect in the beginning But then as we know it's only a matter of time until you become completely flawed So Yes, don't be gullible don't be foolish don't fall for that Because as I said they may try to manipulate you and Pull you back in with the lies and deception future faking They may try to make you believe that this time that they're about it for real and You're on the same page you share the same likes and interests dreams ideals all of this I've had it's only a matter of time until they start devaluing you again Yes, it's only a matter of time until they do that and Of course, we all know the reason why It's because they have to project this Impossible stand and an expectation for themselves on to you. Yes. That is why they do that as we all know They have to project their own insecurities and self-hatred on to give so That is what the row is going to do and that is why the love-bombing phase is always followed by the devaluation Yes, that is why it's always followed by that So this is to remind you and also to make you aware that yes When you run into them after no contact, it's always Just another trap That's all it's ever going to be. They're just gonna bait you in and then they're gonna switch it up on you And then you're gonna be the one who feels like a fool It's only ever Going to end like that It's never Going to be anything different It's never Going to be how you want it to be And I have to drill this into you I need to ride this home to you so that you know It is never going to be anything different or how you want it to be And yes, I know you have this Maybe this illusion in your mind that they fed to you. They made you believe that no things can be different You've got them another chance they can change they can be better No, they can't it's maladaptive They cannot change adapt to adjust And if one of you maybe you're involved with someone and they do change I can guarantee it's only a matter of time until they change right back As dr. Ramini said this disorder it's like An elastic band it stretches So it may seem as though there's some room for short term change, but then it snaps right back to its original position And That's how it's always going to be you can't change that And if it seems like you can if it does remain consistent over a long period of time That just means you weren't dealing with a narcissist because if you were It will prove itself over time. It will remain consistent The dysfunctional behavior It will never Ever change And I can promise you that Yes, I know I understand in the past in some of my videos Maybe I remained a bit hopeful I I will admit that at times I even questioned if I was the narcissist Because I I guess in my past I could recognize some narcissistic traits as I mentioned before And then I started to make a lot of healthy changes in my life So then I started to look at it like Maybe these narcissists can change But no, they can't And that is a fact Anyone who says anything different It's wrong Narcissistic personality disorder will never Change and not just that But that also goes for Highly toxic people people who are highly narcissistic and maybe even some other cluster B disorders as well They are never going to change. So take away your hope take away your expectation And If you ever have any doubts you just need to watch my videos again Until it drills inside your mind Because I need you to understand that especially When you run into them after no contact Because you were just setting yourself up For more problems Because that's all they're going to do. It's just going to cause more problems for you And you you need to look back and realize that you've had enough You've had enough to deal with already. You don't want more weight on your shoulders So you need to let it go. You need to remember Everything you went through everything you put up with do you really want to go through that again? Because guess what the second time is going to be a lot worse It will only get worse the longer that you're with them and sadly unfortunately on average the A typical victim of narcissistic abuse They may break up with a narcissist about seven times And then it's finally over So think about that. Do you really want to go for it seven times? Do you really want to do that again? And that is why I need you to know that I need you to be aware of this That it cannot change all you're ever going to get is manipulation lies deception future faking All of that I do even if you do take them back and give them another chance You're just going to get denial projection blame shifting gas lighting You're going to go through it all over again And then in the end they're just going to discard you And then you're going to end up feeling rejected And you're going to have a lot of regret you're going to wish that you didn't give them another chance And that is why I have to put this message out there That is why I have to make you aware of this Because once you have the awareness you were able to To change what could otherwise be your future And I don't want you to go through that again So that's why I have to share this message with you and Yeah, it's really just to inform you and to make you aware And to protect you And I want you to Continue along your healing journey Continue watching the videos Self-reflecting and going within yourself Doing things that you are passionate about doing things that you're interested in Like me right now. I'm just out here having a walk Looking at this amazing view here of the city It's very healing for me And it's also very healing for me to talk to you and to help you But it heals me too But as you can probably tell I am pretty much already Fully healed as it is but I mean no one's ever completely healed. This is something it's an ongoing process. It's like going to the gym You're never completely done with it. You have to keep going You have to motivate yourself Discipline and that's where I come in because I'm here for you on that as well I'm always here for your motivation for your inspiration To uplift you To give you what you need and I know that it is my duty To do that. It is my mission in life Which is why I have to get on this every day To put out this message to make you aware To make sure that Life continues to get better for you Because that is what I really want I want to see you heal move on and find someone That deserves you Because that's really what this is about someone who actually does deserve you and as we all know You do not deserve to be involved with a narcissist a self-absorbed person who lacks empathy That doesn't give a damn about what you're going through That's not what we do in here. We all support each other. We love each other We grow together And we build as well. So yeah That's the message for today. I'm just looking for the live chat here. Let me know if you do have any questions I've got some time I will answer your questions for you and give you a detailed response So let me know your questions down below in the live chat. I will read them out right now And while we're waiting for the questions, let's just admire this Incredible view here Of the city Dean says I saw my knock for the first time in three years Just a couple of months ago. He just smirked at me and walked off Yeah, they will do that. They will give you the old narcissistic smirk And when they do that, you should already know what they're thinking in the heads Remember these people are very arrogant and delusional They treat you with an air of superiority as though they're above you and that's literally how they see you When they see you after no contact They're just thinking in the heads. Oh, there he goes And they're laughing at you behind your back. They're thinking all of these Weird things as though something is wrong with you Because this goes back to the black-white mentality that they have Due to that emotional and the development Where they see People is all good or bad right or wrong And of course for them to be good and right you have to be bad and wrong That's just how it is But once you're aware of it, it can help you to Detach from it and observe not absorb By realizing that it has nothing to do with you It's more to do with this Disorder It's lack of order and functionality within their brains So it doesn't have to resonate with you. It's not something that you have to identify with Louisa, is there a first sign you are dealing with a narc? You know, that is actually a very Difficult question to answer. It's quite complicated And the reason why I say that is When you first get involved with someone A lot of people On the first date they could come across as being narcissistic Because no one's going to be so deeply involved with you at the first meeting And if they are that should be a red flag If someone's really coming around you and You know, they're so fixated on you so interested in you That doesn't seem right to me. That doesn't seem healthy That tells me that They are deficient in something There's something that they are missing and they are trying to get it from you Without thinking about you without trying to understand you or what you want But even if they do try to understand that it's only so they can get what they want from you Which means that it's fake Real things take time Real things are not just something that happen overnight So Yes, keep that in mind and trees are made of woods asks How do you manage stone wall with them if you have kids together? Again, that is a very Good question And of course it can be very difficult to completely Cut communication with somebody if you have kids with them It can be very difficult for you to do that in that type of situation Which is why what you need to do is involve lawyers and the courts but even then I will admit that Narcissists, they are very good in the courts They are very good at manipulating Lawyers and judges so As I said, you know, it is a good question. It's quite a difficult one to answer Ideally, yes, that is what you should do is use the court system But as I said, sometimes it can work against you. So be very careful with that British Jones. Hello. Good morning to you ma'am. Yes ma'am says How long will they hoover? I've gotten consistent voicemails for one and a half years and I haven't responded to any It really depends on the type of narcissist that you were dealing with I mean To be blunt and honest Some narcissists, they really have no life They have nothing going on. They have no other options. They've just got no purpose whatsoever Other than to hoover you Other than to give you consistent voicemails for one and a half years as you said so Of course these types of narcissists, they're never going to leave you alone because they've got nothing else to do anyway and it's as simple as that because Obviously if you were dealing with someone Who has a lot of things going on in their lives Let's say they have a job or a business things that are important to them Maybe they have a family, friends, whatever it is. They've got a mission, a purpose They've got all of these things They're not even gonna notice you They won't even see your emails or whatever it is you're sending and They're not gonna have any time to give you voicemails They're not gonna have any time to do that Because they're gonna be too distracted by their mission, their purpose What they've got going on in their lives to even notice you So of course what you're talking about here, you're describing a narcissist who Has no life. They're very desperate and needy And I'm sure you will recognize these traits in them if they're not leaving you alone And these are really the worst type of narcissists to deal with. They can be very dangerous Because they will do anything to get your attention To get a reaction out of you. They will do anything to do that Because if they don't get it from you Where are they gonna get it? They can't get it from anywhere else So of course they're not gonna leave you alone So I hope that is helpful, ma'am. Yes ma'am And yeah, it could go on for the rest of your life And I've heard in some cases it does One of my clients says they were stalked and harassed Since the 1980s So of course that is a very long time. That's about 50 years So some of these narcissists, of course, they never let go Just looking for the live chat here Count your blessings. Yes He or she says it's been years and I still get Hoover Just this week Well, you know these types of narcissists are not going to leave you alone I mean even I myself I can tell you on my own experience It's usually from Certain clients that I've had although I can't name names I've had one person who Has been sending me emails maybe 10 emails a day every day for the last four years And I just saw them again the other day somehow they Made their way out of my spam folder So I had to make sure they were back in there again and On top of that I've had some clients they've taken flights from the u.s To London and then booked a session with me Told me that in the uk They Well, they're in Starbucks So yes, I I I know what it's like, you know, I've been for it myself and It is a very Uncomfortable experience. It really is, you know when someone is invading your personal space And all you want is just to be left alone Yes, I know what that's like and Very sorry that you have to go through that But all you can do really is just try and cut contact with them. Maybe change your phone number your social media To prevent them from gaining access to you JS says I wouldn't put up with them. I would politely walk out They're crazy Yeah, that's really the best thing to do In these types of situations when you see them after no contact You just have to Stay silent and walk away from them. But even then, you know, that may give them supply. They may think that they've gotten to you You never know what they're telling themselves in their minds anything you do Any kind of action or movement in their minds to think oh, it's because of me I I caused them to do that. That's how a narcissist thinks so Yes, they will think like that, but you've got to do it for you. You've got to do what you think will protect yourself at all costs Andrea Douglas says Good morning. I do believe the narcissist a guy. I was involved with knows. I'm serious about not ever going back Your channel is helping me. Thank you. I'm glad to hear that Andrea good morning to you as well and yes, that's how it should be is that You should make it clear to them that you want Nothing to do with them Because as I've said these people they can be very delusional It's like no matter what you do They can always change it in their minds to make themselves believe That maybe you do want them around and that is why they just don't leave you alone That is why they do that So You do need to make it as clear as possible Even if it is just by completely ignoring them and walking away, but yeah, I hope these Answers to your questions were helpful Hope it resonated with you Just sending these good vibes out to you and Yeah, I hope it uplifts you Because of course that is what it's intended to do It's intended to inspire and motivate you And move you into a healthier direction because as we know dealing with these types of people It's no fun It's no good for you Now that is really the worst combination On top of that, I mean not just something that's unhealthy But something that's also no fun as well I mean That's like a double blow Because of course sometimes we may weigh the risk and reward of doing certain things And while we may know in the back of our minds, yes, this may be A healthy may not be good for me But it does bring me some type of pleasure as well So we can justify it in that way and then we can participate and enjoy it We can find pleasure And gratification in doing that But with narcissists No You don't even get that With narcissists it is I've said it before narcissists are boring They're so predictable. It's just the same thing again and again and it's It's like it never ends you're waiting for it to end but it just keeps going And you're just wondering when it's going to stop So yeah, it is A real issue Because it's the way that they pull you in and You know, they make you believe they're about something to give you these lies and these deception these manipulations To make you think That they are on the same page and they share your ideals and interests When in reality No They don't And in fact A lot of them they're not even on the same page is here They're trying to understand and study you learn you to see where you're coming from And to see what brings you pleasure But they're not interested in any of that They don't even care about it They're just doing it for you and That's really the worst part about it when you realize that you're alone and You know when you're in a relationship with someone You want company You want to feel like you're sharing an experience with someone But I know a lot of you you're in these relationships And you feel more alone than if you were actually alone And for me in my experience, that's the worst part about it Is You think of it Like I may as well be alone Because I feel so lonely It's like They don't even care about me. They're not even interested in me And it just makes you feel so small I know how that feels I felt that way before and Yeah, it's not nice when you feel lonely and you're meant to be in a relationship with someone who's supposed to love and care for you It's not nice to go through that and the reason why you're in that is because Quite honestly, you don't value yourself enough Because if you valued yourself You would already be planning your escape out of it That's what you would be doing And even if you did run into them after no contact you would just be Thinking about How the hell am I going to get away from this person? That's what you'd be thinking in your mind If you are a healthy Person like myself You would just be wanting to run away Although that may not always be the healthiest thing to do The physical act of running away Because of course you need to have some self-control and discipline You need to be able to manage your emotions in different environments But it's constantly on your minds where you're thinking I've got to get myself out of this situation because this is not My kind of scene and that's good if you are thinking that way When you're with them when you're around them I can tell you from my own experience when I communicate with narcissistic toxic people When I'm forced to Communicate them over the phone or through text I feel physically sick in my stomach And it's a very intense Feeling and emotion When you feel that That means you've already healed That means that you are A healthy person So just keep that in mind But I know that many of you are Still at the beginning of your healing journey And that's okay. Yes, it is a process. It does take time And we all understand that So Take your time along your journey You will get there eventually with A therapist support or my support However, you would like it to be As you know I'm partnered with BetterHelp And you can arrange Some sessions with them And get a discount as well if you go to the link betterhelp.com slash narc survivor Or if you'd like to speak to me one-on-one You can book that on my website Which is narcsurvivor.co.uk So yeah, there's some resources there for you If you are beginning your healing journey It will be very good for you And it will help you to move forward Which is what I want you all to do But yeah, that's it for today's video I hope you enjoyed. I hope it was helpful And as always, you can give it a thumbs up down below if you enjoyed it Helps to spread the message to other survivors Of narcissistic abuse Other than that, I'd just like to thank you all And I will talk to you in another video very soon