 So today we're going to talk about the six things men notice first in a woman and find massively attractive And let me be clear. This is in reverse as well six things women notice and men That they find massively attractive. Okay, just to be full transparency. I saw this video on a channel called love strategies I watched it. I thought these were six great things that mirrors what I've been saying for years and quite frankly Truth is universal. So what I'm going to share is nobody owns this truth that I'm about to share these six things that people find massively attractive now one thing we have to address is that our current dating environment is hyper focused on attraction and Romance for relationship success Attraction and romance for relationship success and what oftentimes happens in the first six weeks. There's so much emphasis put on attraction and Romance and and the feel-good of connecting with one another and I believe from a From a caveman perspective This was designed for two people to mate and bond with one another But we no longer live in a caveman type cave person environment Please forgive me for saying caveman cave person environment and we no longer live in an environment where we are Subjugated to war and survival We actually are in a space where women are no longer dependent upon men for their survival So we can actually date from a different perspective more from an emotional perspective more importantly Dating from a place of building a quality friendship With another human beings and yet we put so much emphasis on the physical and not enough on the Energetics and more importantly the emotional aspects of a relationship So while we're going to discuss some attraction things that people find Attractive early on we're going to also look at the essence of a person here because the essence of a person is What makes for a healthy happy relationship? Do I mean by the essence of a person? You know there is our Personality and oftentimes personalities can clash with one another and yet at the essence of a person I believe most human beings are good people. I don't think people Intentionally hurt others. I don't think people intentionally use others Although it might feel that way in our current dating environment because we have significantly wounded people and If you've ever heard the phrase hurt people hurt people Well, that's the sad reality that what we're faced with today. This is why I'm such a big proponent of Doing your own work early in the process before you begin dating. What does your own work mean? It means healing childhood wounds and adult traumas that cause negative patterns and limiting beliefs in your life If you're not familiar with the book Getting the love you want by Harvelle Hendricks and Helen Hunt all the books. I recommend are listed below. I Want you to study what's known as the amago? I am a GO I am a GO What the amago is is that we humans have a pattern of choosing people To heal something from our childhood particularly with our primary Caretakers in our lives whether it was our mother or father was whether it was our aunt or Uncles whether it was our grandparents. We oftentimes choose people based on something that's familiar from our childhood and Because of that have you ever heard the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result Well, that's kind of what's happening today in our dating environment And because so much emphasis is put on chemistry attraction and romance and not enough on Emotional maturity Do two people have the capacity to blend lives together and do they have a shared vision and shared values and Particularly for those of us in midlife blending lives is one of the primary reasons why a lot of relationships Never really take off because their lifestyles are like this instead of compatible like this Well, you're probably going Jonathan. What does this have to do with the things men notice that are massively attractive? Well, then let's just jump into that and we'll come back to the previous rabbit holes Before we wrap up today. So again this content I saw on love strategies channel it mirrors Although I'm everything I'm about to share is from their channel, but I'm gonna give you my perspective on what I Have observed in this so the first thing that we find massively attractive This is true for women find attractive and men and men find this attractive in women is your vibe What kind of vibe do you put out? See, I've noticed a lot of women have walls up Oh my god, some women have resting bitch face I mean, I've gone on first dates with a woman who literally walked into the restaurant with resting bitch face I Mean it was it was actually rather sad to witness this and yet what I'd also observed is a significant percentage of women have what's known as walls up meaning They were hurt in their past maybe multiple times and there are so much Reservation that they're not operating with a vibe of beginner's mind of excitement of Enthusiasm because what if this next person you meet could actually be the one see healing the past is About being in a space in your present where you're in a space of enthusiasm a space of an excitement and Yet if you've been hurt in your past if you have walls up You're not gonna have the exciting vibe that and by the way, this is true of men as well Except the problem with you women. Oh my god, that sound like a judgment a man could have a wall up Well, this is true men do this as well and it's the old narrative, you know Let's climb to the highest room of the tallest tower Sometimes the most wounded people are chased because the other person is also wounded And they're trying to convince the person with walls up to love them because this relates back to their childhood Of where they weren't getting loved in their childhood So again healing the past puts you in a place of having a happy vibe and a happy vibe is massively attractive Number two Ownership of your problems. Oh my god, we here in the United States are suckling on the nipple of victim consciousness More importantly, we're suckering. I mean, we really are a society of humans that complain so much of their past They don't take ownership that you are the common denominator in every experience your life Even if you were with the most horrific person on some level You contributed on some level even if it's three percent You contributed to accepting something that wasn't healthy for you And if you accepted something that wasn't healthy for you, you have to take a hundred percent ownership in that By the way a gigantic red flag actually they're dealbreakers for me a red flag is if someone Constantly complains about an ex-spouse an ex-boyfriend an ex-lover They take no ownership in their part and you've seen this men do this too And you're like I'll be his hero or heroine You know men do this and women do this and I'm gonna tell you something somebody who is who does not take ownership of their Problems or their past relationships Are incredibly That you are you are you're setting yourself up for failure You're setting yourself for a hurt and believe me There's nothing worse than investing your heart your your your body your soul to another human being your emotions If they're in victim consciousness, and I'm here to invite everybody to stand in their victor consciousness take Ownership for every experience in your life number three Fully being present fully be present Has anyone read the book the power of now? The idea is as many humans are either living in the past or living in the future and now is what we have The past is prologue. The future is unwritten That's why they call it a present. They called it right. What was it in in in Kung Fu Panda They said that's why it's a present. It's a gift to be present See a lot of times men and women are focused on the future They're focused on the but they're they're stuck in the past and they're not actually Present to the experience of right now You notice this in their communication how they talk about Either talk about their past or they're projecting a future with someone. We see this with women who chase men I remember one woman. I was very upfront It was very upfront. I'm not interested in the relationship with you, but I'm happy to have sex with you I was very upfront and We spent time together and I mean basically I didn't say the words We were friends with benefits. Okay, but I was very clear I don't think we're a match for each other, but I'm physically attracted to you. This happened years ago and After about couple months of doing this and it was every other couple week kind of thing I said what kind of relationship do you think we have and she goes we're dating. I'm like Are you not present to what I've said and how I've been treating you and I'm not proud of this behavior folks I'm not saying that what I did was right, you know, I was very upfront But she wasn't present to what was happening folks being present is evaluating your current dynamic your current circumstances Your current dynamic your current circumstances and really evaluating it from the Ben Franklin perspective the pro and the con being logical about what's happening instead of projecting something in the future that you might think will Change if I if I do these things this will change. That's not being present Being present is recognizing what you have now and making decisions based on now Is this sinking in is this resonating? Please let me know if it is please hit that like button really quickly All right, this one does have to do with physical Attributes, but I think it's important to this this piggybacks the vibe But what was listed was soft eyes nice smile and what I think this red what this represents is radiance There are just some people That radiate a good vibe through their eyes and through their smile They operate there's just something that sparkles about them and I think the reason why this happens is they've they've left let go of unhealthy attachments and Delusional thinking and by the way many of you are suckling on delusional thinking fantasy thinking And men are note by the way the coffee mug says I don't want to work anymore I just want to be put up on a pedestal chair cherished and put up on a pedestal and taken care of This was a gift I'm not a subscriber of that but I thought I thought that was kind of funny radiance is really the element of Being in your sovereignty and being in a good place. It's about being happy. It's not being stuck in the past. It's not, you know Complaining about your problems. It's taking ownership. It's being present. It's about being in a good vibe And all of that will begin to shine and radiate so invite you to go out on first dates with a gigantic smile with beginners mind with the idea that That it's quite possible the next person you meet might actually be the one we don't know Now that doesn't mean attached to the idea that there are one or attached to the idea that this is the person But most importantly just being in a space of Accept just being in a space of joy because that radiates. I gotta tell you something. This isn't a Lot of times it's not about physical beauty. It's about radiance. I know Incredibly physically beautiful for women that have no radiance in them because their heart is covered in ice and When you've done the inner work when you've explored Healing those childhood wounds and adult traumas you begin to radiate from a place of love and compassion For most important for yourself first, but also love and compassion of every other human being because guess what? As I said earlier in this broadcast most people are good people inside. They're just hurting on the inside as well Number five who your friends are who are your friends? You know a reflection of who we are is a reflection of our friends and I know speaking from my own personal life I've surrounded myself with really good hearted loving people in my life And it's a reflection of Who I am as a person? You know now I've got some friends that are jerks, and I've got some friends are assholes, and I've got some friends who are Unconscious yes But they also represent loyalty Loyalty, you know their Kindness compassion care even in their own dysfunction Why I'm bringing this up is it's important to spend time Integrating into a person's life to see who are their friends because ultimately this is going to make or break potentially make or break a relationship in the future and the more we can align up in Integrating into each other's lives The greater chance we have for success, so it's important to introduce family friends Relatively early on and by the way you should your friends and family should help you in the decision-making process of the relationship Now I recognize that we can have some family and friends that can be very problematic But if they're problematic people are they really a benefit in your life? And I know we can't choose our family, but certainly we can choose our friends and our friends should be actively Involved in help helping build I want you to think about the words building a relationship together It's like building a house and friends and family are one of the bedrooms in the house It's important to be aware that your friends and family are also a reflection of who you are as well and Number six, this is probably the most important one that I want to emphasize today and that is healthy Verbal communication good communication verbal communication and healthy skills See the sad reality is is most humans have weak emotional maturity and weak relationship skills in addition They have again poor communication skills If you're not familiar with the book nonviolent communication by Marshall Rosenberg and by the way all the books I recommend are listed below Most humans have you know They they have a poor way of expressing their needs wants and desires and more importantly They have a pure way of this expressing themselves when there's differences of conflict So here I want to invite you to think along these lines When you have a challenge to disconnect with a partner, it's important to learn active listening skills It's important to listen to the person's other point of view Accept that person's point of view is true for them acknowledge and validate their point of view You know, I understand that you feel this way and it makes sense to me you feel this way I have a slightly different viewpoint on the same subject In fact much like a prism where you can look at something at a different angle this is the angle I view this particular issue between the two of us and Learning how to communicate at a diplomatic diplomatic way and most importantly being curious You know rather than being defensive rather than being judgmental I think healthy verbal communication is the essence and also expressing how you feel about one another Ladies a lot of you have duct tape over your mouth. You're not expressing how you feel or worse You're not expressing when you're not happy and we men aren't mind readers Okay, we men aren't mind readers. If something's on your mind, bring it up Let's deal with it now rather than later because that's some of the reasons why we experience a lot of dysfunction and the dating mating and relating realm Look it. There's nothing easy about this process. Let's be clear finding that match that really fits First off, it's an absolute blessing For the most part, but it's it's probably rare At the same time the journey of finding this person is the real fun And I invite you to show up as your best self And I'm inviting men to show up as their best selves and maybe you get lucky and two best selves people meet Maybe you don't but what's most important is the ride, right? Just getting on that roller coaster and going on that ride. Is this sinking in is this resonating? Please let me know if it is post a comment below I do my best to read them all within the first 24 hours as always if you found value in this video Please hit that like button. Please share this video Please subscribe to my channel at that notification bell And if you want to connect with me below our links of all the different ways you can connect with me scheduled discovery call Follow me on Instagram and all that good stuff. All right. I'm gonna wrap up this videos I always do first off give myself a big gigantic shot the barricade self love I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay I'm actually to turn to someone a pat a teddy bear pillow and give it or them a hug of love Because hugs are a great source of love and let's face it. We could all use more love in our lives. Thanks a bunch. Bye. Bye now