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Dancing with the Stars : The Final Four Perform

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Published on May 21, 2013

Welcome to the final performance night of Dancing with the Stars' 16th season. Tonight, the final four will face off in three dances: Judge's Choice, a Cha Cha Relay, and the Super-Size Freestyle, an extra-long dance with no rules, big choreography, extra glitter and glitz, and, of course, fresh spray tans for the contestants and pros (and probably the judges and hosts, too). After the dances, America votes.

Tomorrow, the show returns for the big finale, with performances by Korean pop sensation Psy and rapper Pitbull. One finalist will be cut at the start of the show, while the remaining couples face down the dreaded Insta-Dance. At the end of the night, someone gets to take home the much-desired Mirrorball Trophy, which DWTS judge Carrie-Ann Inaba swears is "very very cheap."

Lest you worry that Dancing with the Stars is crass or heartless, host Tom Bergeron stopped the show to pay homage to the victims, families and first responders in tornado-ravaged Oklahoma City, and took a moment to acknowledge the fact that as a live show, they occasionally need to perform in the shadow of tragedies.

Here's what happened on the finals of Dancing with the Stars:

Most Apt Dancing with the Stars Injury: The show opened with a disturbing image of Val Chmerkovskiy being injured in what appeared to be a gruesome spinning sequin to the face accident. The results were bloody, yet still strangely glamorous.

Fanciest Footwork: The Judge's Choice dances are meant to give the dancers a chance to show how much they've improved on certain dances — and the judges themselves usually step into the rehearsal space to dole out pointers to help the process along. Len Goodman was tasked with teaching Super Bowl champion Jacoby Jones how to sharpen up his much maligned (and oft-mentioned) pigeon toes before his second attempt at the jive. A few minutes with Len, and the star's footwork was ship-shape thanks to the man he dubbed his "light-skinned grandfather."

Most Subtle Vote=Getting Ploy: During his dances with Katrina Smirnoff, Jacoby was decked out in the Baltimore Ravens' team colors of purple and gold.

Best Excuse: When the judges dinged Jacoby for his flat feet, Jacoby asked them, "Can you wear cleats?" "No." "Well, I can't wear heels." He earns a 27/30

(MORE: Q&A: DWTS Judge Carrie Ann Inaba Thinks the Winner Will Be...)

Most Honest Answer: Host Brooke Burke Charvat asked Jacoby what it would take for him to beat Aly Raisman, Kellie Pickler, and Zendaya Coleman. "The grace of God," replied the football star. Amen to that.

Strangest Compliment: Aly and her partner Mark Ballas were tasked with a samba, which, of course, they set to Shakira's "Hips don't Lie." When they finished, Bruno rose from his seat and declared, "You've got the shoosh!" Carrie-Ann Inaba nodded eagerly in agreement. Must be a technical term. Their score: 28/30

Biggest Set Up: Kellie and her partner Derek Hough were given the quick step, which is a strange choice, because their first go-round with the dance they scored a 29/30, which doesn't give them much room for improvement. Even nit-picky traditionalist Len called their original quick step "the dance of the season." Will they get a perfect score this time? Probably.

Most NSFW Moment: During rehearsal, Len stopped by their practice room to give the dynamic duo some tips. His helpful hints? Telling Derek and Kellie that while in hold "your knobbly bit has to go next her knobbly and your knobbly bit has to go on the outside of his knobbly bit." Their "knobbly bits" must have been in all the right spots, because they got a perfect 30/30.

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