 CHAPTER 31 A regular set to, in which the parties beaten are not knocked down, but rise higher and higher at each discoffiture. Nothing but the troops could have prevented them from going up to heaven. Don Riviera and his two sons quitted the room, Gascoigne entered into conversation with the senora, while Easy took this opportunity of addressing Agnes. He had been too much occupied with the consultation to pay her much attention before. He had spoken with his eyes fixed upon her and had been surprised at the improvement which had taken place in less than a year. He now went to her and asked her in a low voice whether she had received his letter. Oh, yes, replied she, colouring, and were you angry with what I said, Agnes, in a low tone? No, replied she, casting her eyes down on the floor. I repeat now what I said, Agnes. I have never forgotten you. But, but what? Father Tomasso, what of him? He never will, will what? You are a heretic, he says. Tell him to mind his own business. He has a great influence with my father and mother. Your brothers are on our side. I know that, but there will be a great difficulty. Our religion is not the same. He must talk to you. He will convert you. We'll argue that point, Agnes. I will convert him if he has common sense. If not, it's no use arguing with him. Where is he? He will be home soon. Tell me, Agnes, if you had your own will, would you marry me? I don't know. I have never seen anyone I liked so well. Is that all? Is it not enough for a maiden to say? replied Agnes, raising her eyes and looking rather reproachfully. Senor, let me go. Here comes my father. Notwithstanding, Jack cast his eyes to the window where Gascoigne and the Senora were in converse, and perceiving that the old lady's back was turned, he pressed Agnes to his bosom before he released her. The gentleman then returned with all the firearms and destructive weapons they could collect. We have enough, observed Don Philip, to arm all the people we have with us. And we are well armed, replied Jack, who had left Agnes standing alone. What now are your plans? Those we must consult about. It appears. But at this moment the conversation was interrupted by the sudden entrance of Pedro, who had been dispatched to the town with the load of wine. He rushed in, flurried and heated, with his red cap in his hand. How now, Pedro, back so early? Oh, senor! exclaimed the man. They have taken the cart and the wine, and have drawn it away up to the mountains. Who? inquired Don Ribiera. The galley slaves who have been let loose, and by the body of our blessed saint, they have done pretty mischief. They have broken into the houses, robbed everything, murdered many, clothed themselves with the best, collected all the arms, provision, and wine they could lay their hands on, and have marched away into the mountains. This took place last night. As I was coming down within a mile of the town, they met me with my loaded cart, and they turned the bullocks round, and drove them away with the rest. By the blessed virgin, but they are stained with blood, but not altogether of men, for they have cut up some of the oxen. I heard this from one of the herdsmen, but he too fled and could not tell me more, but, senor, I heard them mention your name. I have no doubt of it, replied Don Ribiera. As for the wine, I only hope they will drink too much of it to-night. But Pedro, they will be here, and we must defend ourselves, so call the men together. I must speak to them. We shall never see the bullocks again, observed Pedro mournfully. But we shall never see one another again if we do not take care. I have information. They come here to-night. Holy St. Francis! And they say there are a thousand of them. Not quite so many to my knowledge, observed Jack. They told me that a great many were killed in their attack upon the town before they mastered it. So much the better. Go now, Pedro, drink a cup of wine, and then call the other men. The house was barricaded as well as circumstances would permit. The first story was also made a fortress by loading the landing-place with armoires and chests of drawers. The upper story, or attic, if it might be so-called, was defended in the same way that they might retreat from one to the other if the doors were forced. It was eight o'clock in the evening before all was ready, and they were still occupied by the last defence under the superintendents of Mesti, who showed himself an able engineer when they heard the sound of an approaching multitude. They looked out of one of the windows and perceived the house surrounded by the galley slaves in number, apparently about a hundred. They were all dressed in a most fantastic manner in whatever they could pick up. Some had firearms, but most of them were supplied with only swords or knives. With them came also their cortege of plunder, carts of various descriptions, loaded with provisions of all sorts and wine, women lashed down with ropes, sails from the vessels and boats to supply them with covering in the mountains, hay and straw and mattresses. Their plunder appeared to be well chosen for their exigencies. To the carts were tied a variety of cattle intended to accompany them to their retreat. They also appeared to be under a leader who was issuing directions. That leader was soon recognised by those in the house to be Don Silvio. Master Easy, you shung me that man, said Mesti when he heard the conversation between Easy and the Ribbieras. Only let me know him. Do you see him there, Mesti, walking down in front of those men? He has a musket in his hand, a jacket with silver buttons and white trousers. Yes, Master Easy, me see him well. Let me look little more. Not enough. The galley slaves appeared to be very anxious to surround the house that no one should escape, and Don Silvio was arranging the men. Ned, said Jack, let us show him that we are here. He said that he would acquaint Don Ribbiera with our arrival. Let us prove to him that he is too late. It would not be a bad idea, replied Gascoigne, if it were possible that these fellows had any gratitude among them. Some of them might relent at the idea of attacking those who saved them. Not a bit, but it will prove to them that there are more in the house than they think for, and we can frighten some of them by telling them that the soldiers are near at hand. Jack immediately threw up the casement and called in a loud voice, Don Silvio, galley slave, Don Silvio. The party hailed turned round and beheld Jack, Gascoigne and Mesti, standing at the window of the upper floor. We have saved you the trouble of announcing us, called out Gascoigne. We are here to receive you, and in three hours the troops will be here, so you must be quick, Don Silvio, continued Jack. Areve de la, continued Gascoigne, letting fly his pistol at Don Silvio. The window was then immediately closed. The appearance of our hero and their communication of the speedy arrival of the troops was not without effect. The criminals trembled at the idea Don Silvio was mad with rage. He pointed out to the men the necessity of immediate attack, the improbability of the troops arriving so soon, and the wealth which he expected was locked up by Don Ribeira in his mansion. This rallied them, and they advanced to the doors which they attempted to force without success, losing several men by the occasional fire from those within the house. Finding their efforts after half an hour's repeated attempts to be useless, they retreated, and then bringing up a long piece of timber which required 60 men to carry it, they ran with it against the door, and the weight and impetus of the timber drove it off its hinges, and an entrance was obtained. By this time it was dark. The lower story had been abandoned, but the barricade at the head of the stairs opposed their progress. Convenient loopholes had been prepared by the defenders, who now opened a smart fire upon the assailants, the latter having no means of returning it effectually had they ammunition for their muskets, which fortunately they had not been able to procure. The combat now became fierce, and the galley slaves were several times repulsed with great losses during a contest of two hours. But encouraged by Don Silvio, and refreshed by repeated drafts of wine, they continued by degrees removing the barriers opposed to them. We shall have to retreat, exclaimed Don Riviera. Very soon they will have torn down all. What do you think, Signor Easy? Hold this as long as we can. How are we off for ammunition? Plenty as yet. Plenty do last for six hours, I think. What do you say, Mesti? By Holyst and Patrick. I say, hold out there. They got no firearms, and we abound at arm length. This decision was the occasion of the first defence being held for two hours more, an occasional relief being afforded by the retreat of the convicts to the covered carts. At last it was evident that the barricade was no longer tenable, for the heavy pieces of furniture they had heaped up to a pose entrance were completely hammered to fragments by poles brought up by the assailants, and used as battering rams. The retreat was sounded. They all hastened up to another story, where the ladies were already placed, and the galley slaves were soon in possession of the first floor, exasperated by the defence, mad with wine and victory, but finding nothing. Again was the attack made upon the second landing, but as the stairs were now narrower and their defences stronger in proportion, they for a long while gained no advantage. On the contrary many of their men were wounded and taken down below. The darkness of the night prevented both parties from seeing distinctly, which was rather in favour of the assailants. Many climbed over the fortress of piled up furniture, and were killed as soon as they appeared on the other side, and at last the only ammunition used was against those who made this rash attempt. For four long hours did this assault and defence continue, until daylight came, and then the plan of assault was altered. They again brought up the poles, hammered the pieces of furniture into fragments, and gained ground. The defenders were worn out with fatigue, but flinched not. They knew that their lives and the lives of those dearest to them were at stake, and they never relaxed their exertions. Still the criminals with Silvio at their head progressed. The distance between the parties gradually decreased, and there was but one massive chest of drawers now defending the landing place, and over which there was now a constant succession of blows from long poles and cutlasses, returned with the bullets from their pistols. We must now fight for our lives, exclaimed Gasco into easy. For what else can we do? Do get on the roof and fight there then, replied Jack. By the by, that's well thought of, Jack, said Gasco in. Mesty, up and see if there's any place we can retreat to in case of need. Mesty hastened to obey, and soon returned with a report that there was a trapped door leading into the loft under the roof, and that they could draw the ladder up after them. Then we may laugh at them, cried Jack. Mesty, stay here while I and Gasco in assist the ladies up, explaining to the Ribieras and to their domestics why they went. Easy and Gasco in hastened to the Signora and Agnes, conducted them up the ladder into the loft, and requested them to have no fear. They then returned to the defences on the stairs and joined their companions. They found them hard pressed, and that there was little chance of holding out much longer. But the stairs were narrow and the assailants could not bring their force against them. But now, as the defences were nearly destroyed, although the convicts could not reach them with their knives, they brought up a large supply of heavy stones which they threw with great force and execution. Two of Don Ribiera's men and Don Martin were struck down, and this new weapon proved most fatal. We must retreat, Jack, said Gasco in. The stones can do no harm where we are going. What do you think, Don Philip? I agree with you. Let those who are wounded be first carried up, and then we will follow. This was effected, and as soon as the wounded men were carried up the ladder and the arms taken up to prevent their falling into the hands of the assailants, for there were now a little use to them, the ammunition being exhausted, the whole body went into the large room which contained the trapdoor of the loft, and as soon as they were up, they drew the ladder after them. They had hardly effected this, when they were followed with the yells and shouting of the galley slaves, who passed the last barriers and thought themselves sure of their prey. But they were disappointed, they found them more secure than ever. Nothing could exceed the rage of Don Silvio at the protracted resistance of the party and the security of their retreat. To get at them was impossible, so he determined to set fire to the room and suffocate them, if he could do no otherwise. He gave his directions to his men, who rushed down for straw, but in so doing he carelessly passed under the trapdoor, and Mesti, who had carried up with him two or three of the stones, dashed one down on the head of Don Silvio, who fell immediately. He was carried away, but his orders were put in execution. The room was filled with straw and fodder, and lighted. The effects were soon felt. The trapdoor had been shut, but the heat and smoke burst through. After a time the planks and rafters took fire, and their situation was terrible. A small trap window in the roof on the side of the house was knocked open and gave them a temporary relief. But now the rafters burned and crackled, and the smoke burst on them in thick columns. They could not see, and with difficulty could breathe. Fortunately the room below that which had been fired was but one out of four on the attics, and as the loft they were in spread over the whole of the roof, they were able to remove far from it. The house was slated with massive slate of some hundred weights each, and it was not found possible to remove them so as to give air, though frequent attempts were made. Donna Ribeira sank exhausted in the arms of her husband, and Agnes fell into those of our hero who, enveloped in the smoke, kissed her again and again, and she, poor girl, thinking that they must all inevitably perish, made no scruple in what she supposed her last moment on returning these proofs of her ardent attachment. Master Easy, help me here. Master Gascoigne, come here. Now he with all your might. When we get one off, we get plenty. Summoned by Mesty, Jack and Gascoigne put their shoulders to one of the lower slates. It yielded, and was disengaged, and slid down with a loud rattling below. The ladies were brought to it, and their heads put outside. They soon recovered, and now that they had removed one, they found no difficulty in removing others. In a few minutes they were all with their heads in the open air, but still the house was on fire below, and they had no chance of escape. It was while they were debating upon that point, and consulting as to their chance of safety, that a breeze of wind wafted the smoke that issued from the roof away from them, and they beheld the detachment of troops making up to the house. A loud cheer was given, and attracted the notice of the soldiers. They perceived easy in his companions. The house surrounded, and entered in an instant. The galley slaves who were in the house, searching for the treasure reported by Don Silvio to be concealed, were captured or killed, and in five minutes the troops had possession. But how to assist those above was the difficulty. The room below was in flames and burning fiercely. There were no ladders that could reach so high, and there were no means of getting to them. A commandant made signs from below as if to ask what he was to do. I see no chance, observed Don Philip mournfully. Easy, my dear fellow, you and Gascoigne, I am sorry that the feuds of our family should have brought you to such a dreadful death. But what can be done? I don't know, replied Jack, unless we could get ropes. You're quite sure, Master Easy, that all galley rascals below gone? asked Domesti. Yes, replied Easy. You may see that. Look at some of them bound there under charge of the soldiers. Then, sir, I think it high time we go to. Uh, so do I, Misty, but how? How? Stop a little. Come help me, Master Easy. This board, for the loft was flawed, is loose. Come help all of you. They all went, and with united strength, pulled up the board. No, strike like hell and drove down to plaster, said Misty, commencing the operation. In a few minutes they had beaten an opening into one of the rooms below, not on fire, and pulled up another board, and Misty, having fetched the ladder, they all descended in safety, and to the astonishment of the commandant of the troops, walked out of the door of the house, those who had been stunned with the stones, having so far recovered as to require little assistance. The soldiers shouted as they saw them appear, supporting the females. The commanding officer, who was an intimate friend of Don Philip, flew to his arms. The prisoners were carefully examined by Misty, and Don Silvio was not among them. He might, however, be among the dead who were left in the house, which now began to burn furiously. The galley slaves who were captured amounted in number to forty-seven. They're dead, they could not count. The major part of the plunder and the carts were still where they had been drawn up. As soon as the culprits had been secured, the attention of the troops was directed at putting out the flames, but their attempts were ineffectual. The mansion was burned to the bare walls, and but little of the furniture saved. Indeed, the major part of it had been destroyed in the attack made by Don Silvio and his adherents. Leaving directions with Pedro and his people that the property collected by the miscreants should be restored to the owners, Don Ribiera ordered the horses, and with the whole party put himself under the protection of the troops, who, as soon as they had been refreshed, and had taken some repose, bent their way back to Palomo with the galley slaves, bound and linked together in a long, double row. They halted when they had gone halfway, and remained for the night. The next day at noon Don Ribiera and his family were once more in their palazzo, and our two midshipmen and Mesti took their leave, and repaired on board to make themselves a little less like chimney sweepers. Captain Wilson was not out of the ship, Jack made his report, and then went down below, very much pleased at what had passed, especially as he would have another long yarn for the Governor on his return to Malta. End of Chapter 31 Chapter 32 of Mr. Midshipman Easy. This is a LibriVox recording, or LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Mr. Midshipman Easy by Captain Frank Marriott, read by Adrian Pretzelis. Chapter 32, in which our hero and gas-goin ought to be ashamed of themselves, and did feel what might be called a Midshipmite compunction. The aurora continued three weeks at Palermo, during which the most active search had been made for the remainder of the galley slaves, and some few had been captured, but still Don Silvio and a considerable number were at large, and it was said that they had retired to the fastnesses in the mountains. Our hero was constantly on shore at Don Ribiera's house, and after what had passed he was now looked upon as soon to become a member of the family. The difference of religion was overlooked by Don Ribiera and the relations, by all but the Confessor, Father Tommaso, who now began to agitate and fulminate into the ears of the Donia Ribiera all the pains and penalties attending heretical connection, such as excommunication and utter damnation. The effects of his remonstrances were soon visible, and Jack found that there was constraint on the part of the old lady, tears on the part of Agnes, and all Father Confessor's heartily wished at the devil ten times a day on the part of Don Philip and his brother. At last he wormed the truth out of Agnes, who told her tale and wept bitterly. Ned, I don't much like the appearance of things, observed Jack. I must get rid of that, Father Tommaso. You'll find that rather difficult, observed Gascoigne, besides, if you were rid of him you would have his place filled up with another. He has frightened that poor old woman into the dismal, and she has the pains of purgatory on her already. I shall go and talk to Mesti. How can Mesti help you? I don't know, but you can't so, for want of better advice, I'll try the Ashanti. Our hero went to Mesti and laid the difficult affair open to him. I see, said Mesti, showing his filed teeth. You want him skull. No, I don't, Mesti, but I want him out of the way. Hold that possible, Master Easy. Ship sail day after tomorrow. Now pose I have time. I soon manage all that. Stop a little. Confound it, but there's no stopping, replied Jack. Suppose, Master Easy, you get leave go unsure, not come off again. That will be deserting, Mesti. Boy, holy poker, I have it, you go unsure and break your leg. Break my leg? Break my leave, you mean? No, Master Easy, you break your leg. Then Captain, leave you on shore and leave me to take care of you. But why should I break my leg, and how am I to break my leg? Only pretend break leg, Master Easy. Go talk Master Don Philip. He manage all that. Suppose man break his leg into seven pieces. It is not possible to take him on board. Seven pieces, Mesti? That's rather too many. However, I'll think of this. Jack then went back and consulted Gascoyne, who approved of Mesti's advice, and thought the scheme feasible. If we could only pretend that we were thrown out of a caracola, you break your leg, a compound fracture of course, I break my arm, both left on shore at six quarters with Mesti to take care of us. Capital indeed, replied Jack. I really would not mind if it really took place. At all events, we'll overturn the caracola. But shall we get leave the last day? Yes, it's two days since I have been on shore, for I have not liked to go to Don Riviera since what Agnes told me. Besides, my clothes are all on shore. That will be an excuse for a few hours. Our two midshipmen applied for leave the next morning to be off in the afternoon. The first lieutenant gave them permission. They hastened to the hotel, sent for Don Philip, and made him a party to their plan. He readily promised his assistance, for he had resolved that our hero should marry his sister, and was fearful of the effect of his absence, coupled with Friar Tomasso's influence over his mother. He went to the surgeon of his regiment, who immediately entered into the scheme. Our two midshipmen got into a caracola, rattled up and down the streets, and, perceiving Captain Wilson at his window, flogged the horse into a gallop. When abreast of the barracks, Jack ran the wheel against the bank, and threw himself and gas going out. Midshipmen are never hurt by these accidents, but fortunately for the success of the enterprise, their faces were cut and bruised. Don Philip was standing by. He called the men to pick up our two scamps, carried them into the barracks, and sent for the surgeons, who undressed them, put Jack's left leg into a multitude of splints, and did the same to Gasgoin's arm. They were then put to bed, their contused faces with blood left in statue quo, while Don Philip sent an orderly, as from the commandant, to Captain Wilson, to acquaint him that two of his officers had been thrown out of a caracola, and were lying dangerously hurt at the barracks. Good heavens, it must be Mr. Easy and Mr. Gasgoin, said Captain Wilson, when the intelligence was communicated. I saw them galloping down the street, like two madmen just now. Coxson, take the gig on board and tell the surgeon to come on shore immediately, and bring him up to me at the barracks. Captain Wilson then put on his hat, and buckled on his sword, and hastened to ascertain the extent of the injury. Don Philip capped out of the way, but the captain was ushered into the room by one of the officers, where he found, in two beds, our two midshipmen stretched out. The surgeon of the forces, and the regimental surgeon in consultation between them, while attendants were standing by each bed with restoratives. The medical gentleman saluted Captain Wilson, and looked very grave, talked about fractures, contusions, injuries in the most interminable manner, hoped that Mr. Easy would recover, but had doubts. The other gentleman might do well with care, that is, so far as his arm was concerned, but there appeared to be a concussion of the brain. Captain Wilson looked at the cut and blood smeared faces of the two young men, and waited with anxiety the arrival of his own surgeon, who came at last puffing with the haste he had made, and received the report of the brothers of the faculty. The leg of Mr. Easy fractured in two places had been set, bone protruding, impossible to move him. Gas going, arm, compound fracture, contusion of the brain, not certain. Now, that all this would have been discovered to be false if the surgeon had been able to examine is true, but how could he not credit the surgeon of the forces and the regimental surgeon, and how could he put the young men to fresh tortures by removing splints and upsetting limbs? Politeness, if nothing else, prevented his doing so, for it would have been as much as to say that either he did not credit their report or that he doubted their skill. He looked at our hero and his companion, who kept their eyes closed and breathed heavily with their mouths open, put on a grey face, as well as his brothers in the art, and reported to Captain Wilson. But when can they be moved, Mr. Daily, inquired the latter, I cannot wait. We must sail tomorrow, or the next day, at the farthest. The surgeon, as in duty bound, put the question to the others, who replied that there would be great risk in moving before the fever, which might be expected the next day, and which might last ten days. But that Captain Wilson had better not think of removing them, as they should have every care and attention where they were, and could rejoin the ship at Malta. Mr. Daily, the surgeon, agreed that this would be the most prudent step, and Captain Wilson then gave his consent. That being settled, he walked up to the bed of Gascoyne and spoke to him, but Gascoyne knew that he was to have a contusion of the brain, and he made no reply, nor gave any signs of knowing that Captain Wilson was near him. He then went to our hero, who, at the sound of Captain Wilson's voice, slowly opened his eyes, without moving his head, and appeared to recognise him. Are you in much pain, Easy? said the Captain kindly. Easy closed his eyes again and murmured, Mestee? Mestee? He wants his servant, the ship's corporal, sir, said the surgeon. Well, replied Captain Wilson, he had better have him. He is a faithful fellow, and will nurse him well. When you go on board, Mr. Daily, desire the First Lieutenant to send Mestee on shore with Mr. Gascoyne's and Mr. Easy's chests, and his own bag and hammock. Good heavens, I would not for a thousand pounds that this accident had occurred. Poor foolish boys, they run in couples, and if one's in a scrape, the other is sure to share it. Gentlemen, I return you many thanks for your kindnesses, and I must accept of your promised care for my unfortunate officers. I sail tomorrow at daylight. You will oblige me by informing their friends, the Riviera's, of their mischance, as I am sure they will contribute all they can to their comfort. So saying, Captain Wilson bowed and quitted the room, followed by the surgeon. As soon as the door was closed, the two midshipmen turned their heads round and looked at each other, but they were afraid to speak at first in case of the return of the surgeon. As soon as it was announced to them that Captain Wilson and Mr. Daily were outside the barric gate, our hero commenced, Do you know, Ned, that my conscience smites me, and if it had not been that I should have betrayed those who wish to oblige us, when poor Captain Wilson appeared so much hurt and annoyed at our accident, I was very near getting up and telling him of the imposition to relieve his mind. I agree with you, Jack. I felt very much the same, but what's done cannot be undone. We must now keep up the imposition for the sake of those who, to help us, have deceived him. I don't think that you would find an English surgeon who would have consented to such an imposition. No, that is certain, but after all it is an imposition that has hurt nobody. Oh, I do not wish to moralise, but I repent of my share in the deceit, and had it to be done over again, I would not consent to it. Not even for, but I won't mention her name in barracks. I don't know, replied Jack, but let's say no more about it, and thank these gentlemen for their kindness. Yes, but we must keep it up until we see the aurora under sail. And longer, too, replied Jack, we must not let the affair get wind even on shore. We must not recover quickly, but still appear to recover. Don Rubiera and his wife must be deceived. I have a plot in my head, but I cannot work it out clear till I see Mesti. Don Philip now came in. He had seen Captain Wilson, who had requested him to look after the two invalids, and stated his intention to sail the next morning. They consulted with him, and it was agreed that no one should be acquainted with the real fact about his brother Martin, and that all Palomo should be as much deceived as Captain Wilson, for if not, it would put Father Tommaso on the quivive, and make him forminate more than ever. Our midshipmen ate an excellent dinner, and then remained in bed, conversing, till it was time to go to sleep. But long before that, Mesti had made his appearance with their clothes. The eyes of the Ashanti said all that was necessary. He never spoke a word, but unlashed his hammock, and lay down in a corner, and they were soon all three asleep. The next morning Captain Wilson called to ascertain how our hero and his companions were, but the room had been darkened, and he could not see their faces plainly. Easy thanked him for his kindness in allowing Mesti to attend them, and having received his orders as to joining their ship as soon as they recovered, and having promised to be very cautious in their behaviour, and keep out of all scrapes, he wished them a speedy recovery, and departed. In little more than half an hour afterwards, Mesti, who had been peeping out of the shutters, suddenly threw them open with a loud laugh. The aurora was underway, with studying sales below and aloft standing out of the roads. Jack and Gasgoyne got up, threw off the splints, and danced about in their shirts. As soon as they were quiet again, Mesti said in a grave tone, Very true, Mesti. I've asked myself that question often enough lately, because I'm a fool, I suppose. And I, because I can't help it, replied Gasgoyne. Never mind. We are on shore now, and I look for a famous cruise. But first we must see what the ground is. We are to cruise on, replied Jack. So, Mesti, let us have a palaver, as they say in your country. The two midshipmen got into their beds, and Mesti sat on the chest between them, looking as grave as a judge. The question was how to get rid of the pardre tomato. Was he to be thrown over the molehead to the fishes? Or his skull broke? Was Mesti's knife to be resorted to? Was he to be kidnapped or poisoned? Or were fair means to be employed? Persuasion, bribery. Everyone knows how difficult it is to get rid of a priest. As our hero and Gasgoyne were not Italians, they thought that bribery would be the more English-like way of doing the thing. So they composed a letter to be delivered by Mesti to the friar, in which Jack offered Father Tommaso the moderate sum of $1,000, provided he would allow the marriage to proceed, and not frighten the old lady with ecclesiastical squibs and crackers. As Mesti was often on shore with Jack, and knew the friar very well by sight, it was agreed that the letter should be confided to his charge. But as it was not consistent that a person in such a state as our hero was represented to be should sit up and write letters, the delivery was deferred for a few days, when, after waiting that time, Mesti delivered the letter to the friar, and made signs that he was to take back the answer. The friar beckoned him that he was to accompany him to his room. Were he read the letter? And then again made signs to him to follow him. The friar led the way to his monastery, and as soon as Mesti was in his cell, he summoned another, who could speak English, to act as interpreter. Is your master recovering? Yes, replied Mesti. He is at present doing well. Have you served him long? No, replied Mesti. Are you very fond of him? Does he treat you well, give you plenty of money? At these questions the artful black conceived that there was something in the wind, and he therefore very quietly replied, I do not care much for him. The friar fixed his keen eye upon Mesti, and perceived that there was a savage look about the black, from which he augured that he was a man who would suit his purpose. Your master offers me a thousand dollars. Would you wish to gain this money for yourself? Mesti grinned, and showed his sharp-filed teeth. It would make me a rich man in my own country. It would, replied the friar. Now you shall have it, if you will only give your master a small powder. I understand, replied Mesti, have those things in my country. Well, do you consent? If so, I will write the letter to get the money. Suppose they find me out, replied Mesti. You will be safe, and you shall be sent away as soon as possible. Say, will you consent? The whole thousand dollars? Every one of them. Then give me the powder. Stay a little, replied the friar, who went out of the cell, and in about ten minutes returned with an answer to our hero's letter, and a paper containing a grayish powder. Give him this in his soup, or anything, spread it on his meat, or mix it up with his sugar if he eats an orange. I see, replied Mesti, the dollars shall be yours, I swear it on the Holy Cross. Mesti grinned horribly, took his credentials, and then asked, when I come again? As soon as you have received the money, bring it to me at Don Ribieras. Then give the powder. As soon as it is given, you must let me know, for you must not remain in Palermo. I will myself conduct you to a place of safety. Mesti then quitted the cell, and was shown out of the monastery. Boy, the holy poker! He's one damned rascal, muttered Mesti, as he was once in the open air. But stop a little. The Ashanti soon arrived at the barracks, and repeated the whole of the conference between him and Friar to Marceau. It must be poison, of course, observed Gascoigne. Suppose we try it upon some animal. No, Marce, easy, replied Mesti. I tried myself, boy and boy. Now, what we do? I must give you the order for the thousand dollars, Mesti, replied Jack. The rascal here writes to me that, for that sum, he will consent not only not to oppose me, but agrees to assist my cause. But the great question is whether he will keep his word with you, Mesti. If not, I shall lose my money. So, therefore, we must now have another palaver, and argue the point. The point was argued between Jack and Gascoigne. A thousand dollars was a large sum. But Jack's father was a philosopher. After many pros and cons, it was decided that the money should be given to Mesti. But Mesti should state, when he took the money to the Friar, that he had administered the powder, and claim it when he presented it. The next day the order for the money was given to Mesti, and he went to Friar to Marceau with it. The Friar hastened with Mesti to the monastery, and sent for the interpreter. You have given it? inquired the Friar. Gas, not one hour ago, here to order for the money. You must run for the money before he is dead, for the powder is very rapid. And me, replied Mesti, apparently much alarmed. Where am I to go? As soon as you bring the money here, you must go back to the barracks. Remain there till he is dead, and then return here. I will have all ready, and take you, as soon as it is dusk, to a monastery of our orders in the mountains, where no one will think of looking for you, till the affair is blown over. And then I will find you a passage and some vessel out of the island. Mesti hastened for the money, and taking it in a large bag to the monastery, delivered it to the Friar's charge, and then returned to the barracks to Easy and Gasgoin. It was agreed that he should go with the Friar, who would probably remain away some time. Indeed, Mesti insisted upon so doing. Mesti stayed two hours, and then returned about dusk to the monastery, and reported the death of our hero. He remained there until it was dark, and then the Friar ordered him to tie up the bag of dollars to his saddle-bow. They mounted two mules, which stood already comparison, and quitted Palermo. In the morning Don Philip, as usual, made his appearance, and told our hero that the Friar had been summoned away by the Abbot, and would not return for some time. I came to tell you this news, said Don Philip, as I thought it would please you. The sooner you are now, well, the better. I mean to propose you're being both removed to my father's palazzo, and then you can recover your lost ground during the confessor's absence. And I have the means, replied Jack, showing the Friar's letter. Don Philip read it with astonishment, but was still more surprised when he heard the whole story from Jack. He was for a time silent. At last he said, I am sorry for your poor black. Why so? replied Jack. You will never see him again, depend upon it. A thousand dollars would sign the death warrant of a thousand blacks, and there is another reason. They will put him out of the way that he may not give evidence. Where is the powder? Mesty has it. He would not part with it. He is a shrewd fellow that black. He may be too much for the Friar, replied Don Philip. He means mischief, I'm sure, replied Gascoigne. Still I feel a great deal of alarm about him, replied Easy. I wish now that I had not let him go. Are you sure that he went? No, I am not, but the Friar told him that he should take him to the mountains as soon as it was dark. And probably he will, replied Don Philip, as the best place to get rid of him. However, the whole of this story must be told both to my father and my mother, to the former that he might take the right measures, and to my mother that it may open her eyes. Give me the copy of the letter you wrote to the Friar, and then I shall have it all. The report of the accident which had occurred to Easy and Gascoigne had been spread and fully believed throughout Palomo. Indeed, as usual, it had been magnified and asserted they could not recover. To Agnes only had the cause been imparted in confidence by Don Philip, for her distress at the first intelligence had been so great that her brother could not conceal it. Two days after Don Philip had made his parents equated with the villainy of the Friar, the midshipmen were transported to the Palazzo, much to the surprise of everybody, and much to the renown of the surgeons, who were indemnified for their duplicity and falsehood by an amazing extension of their credit as skillful men. After their arrival at the Palazzo, Don Ribera was also entrusted with the secret, but it went no further. And now there was no particular hurry for our hero to get well, he was contented and happy in the society of Agnes and her parents. The old lady, after she had been informed of the conduct of Friar Tommaso, having turned round in our hero's favour, and made a vow never to have a confessor in the house again. Jack and Gascoigne were now as happy as could be, all their alarm was about Mesti, for whose return they were most anxious. To Don Ribera Jack made known formally his intentions with regard to Agnes. He fully satisfied him as to his qualifications and his property, and Don Ribera was fully aware of his debt of gratitude to our hero, but all he required was the consent of Jack's father. And until this was obtained he would not consent to the marriage taking place. Jack attempted to argue the point. His father, he said, had married without consulting him, and therefore he had a right to marry without consulting his father. But Don Ribera not having any acquaintance with the rights of man and equality did not feel the full force of Jack's argument, and made it a sin a qua non that his parents should write and consent to the alliance before it took place. End of Chapter 32 Chapter 33 of Mr. Midshipman Easy This is a LibriVox recording, or LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Mr. Midshipman Easy by Captain Frank Marriott Read by Adrian Pretzelis Chapter 33, in which Mesti should be called throughout Mephistopheles, for it abounds in black cloaks, disguises, daggers and dark deeds. On the fourth evening after the removal of our two Midshipmen to the Palazzo of Don Ribera, as they were sitting in company with Agnes and Don Philip in their own room, a friar made his appearance at the door. They all started, for by his height they imagined him to be friar tomasso, but no one addressed him. The friar shut the door without saying a word, and then lifting up his cowl, which had been drawn over it, discovered the black face of Mesti. Agnes screamed, and all sprang from their seats at this unusual and unexpected apparition. Mesti grinned, and there was that in his countenance which said that he had much to communicate. Where is the friar, Mesti? inquired Easy. Stop a little, master! Suppose we lock the door first, and then I tell all. Taking this precaution, Mesti threw off the friar's gown and appeared in his own dress with the bag of dollars slung round his body. No, master, Easy, we have a long story to tell, so I think it better begin at the beginning. It is the most approved method, replied Jack, but stop when I hold up my finger, that we may translate what you say to the lady and Don Philip. Dator writes, sir. Friar and I get on too mule as soon as it quite dark. He make me carry all thousand dollars when we ride out of town. We go up mountain and mountain, but the moon get up shying, and we go on cheeked by Joel. He never say one word, and I never say one word, because I no speak his lingo, and he no understand my English. I vote two o'clock in the morning, we stop at a house, and stay there till eight o'clock, and then we go on again, all next day, up all mountain. Only stop once, eat a bit bread, and drink liddy wine. Second night come on, and then we stop again, and people bow very low to him, and women bring in rabbit to make supper. I go in the kitchen. Woman makes stew smell very nice, so I nut my head and say very good, and she make a face, and throw on a table black loaf of bread and garlic, and make sign that for my supper good enough for a black fellow, and that rabbit stew for friar. Then I say to myself, stop a little, suppose friar have all the rabbit. I think I give him a liddy powder. The powder, Mestie, exclaimed Jack. What does he say? inquired Don Phillip. Gas going translated all that Mestie had communicated. The interest of the narrative now became exciting. Mestie continued. Well, Master Easy, then women she go for a dish to put stew in, and I take the powder and drop it in the pot, and then I sit down again and eat black bread, and she say good enough for black man. She tear up the stew once more, and then she pour it out into the dish, and take it to friar. He lick them chops, buy all the powers, and he like them so well he pick up all the bones, and wipe up gravy with him bread. You think it very nice, Master Friar, think I, but stop a little. After he drink a whole bottle of wine, he tell me bring mules to the door, and he put him hands on the woman's head, and that the way he pay for him supper. The moon shone bright, and we go up all mountain, always go up, and about two hour he got off him mule, and he put him hands so, and sat down on the rock. He twist, and he turn, and he groan for half an hour, and then he look at me, as much as to say you black villain, you do this, for he not able to speak. And then I pull out the paper of the powder, and show him, and make him sign he swallow it. He look again, and I laugh at him, and he die. Oh, musty, musty, exclaimed I hero, you should not have done that. There will be mischief come from it. No, he dead, Master Easy, so much less mischief. Gaskoing then interpreted to Don Philip and Agnes, the former of whom looked very grave, and the latter terrified. Let him go on, said Don Philip. I am most anxious to hear what he did with the body. Mesty, at the request of our hero, proceeded. Then I taught what I should do, and I said I would hide him, and I think I take his coat for myself. So I pull off him coat, and I pull off him other clothes. He not wear many. And I take the body in my arm, and I carry him, where I find a great split in the rock above the road. I throw him in, and then I throw plenty large pieces of rock on him, till I see him no more. Then I take the two mules, and get on mine with the dollars, and lead the other three, four miles, till I came to a large wood. Take off him saddle and bridle, turn him adrift. Then I tear up all clothes, all little bits, hide one piece here, not a piece there, and a saddle and bridle in the bush. All right now, I say, so I put on fry a cloak, hide my face, get on my mule, and then I look, where shall I go? So I say, I not be in this road anyhow, I pass through wood till I find another. I go about two mile, moon go down all dark, and five, six men catch hold my bridle, and they all got arms, so I do nothing. They speak to me, but I know answer, and never show my face. They all find dollars damn fast enough, and they lead me away through the wood. Last we come to a large fire in the wood, plenty of men lie about, some eat and some drink. They pull me off, and I hold down my head and fold my arms, just like Friar do. They bring me along to one man, and pour out all my dollar before him. He gives some order, and they take me away, and I peek through the cloak, and I say to myself, he that damn galley-slave rascal, Don Silvio. Don Silvio? cried Jack. What does he say of Don Silvio? demanded Don Phillip. Messed his narrative was again translated, and he continued. They lead me away about fifty yards, tie me to tree, and then they leave me, and they all drink and make merry. Never offer me anything, so I have nothing to eat. I eat the ropes, and know them through, and then I stay there two hours until I'll go asleep, and all quiet. For I say to myself, stop a little. Then, when they all fast asleep, I take up my knife, and I crawl along the ground as we do in our country some time. And then I stop, and look about me. No man to watch but two, and they look out for squall, not look inboard where I was. I crawl again till I lay down alongside that damn galley-slave Don Silvio. He lay fast asleep with my bag, thousand dollars under his head, so I think, you have not damn long, you rascal. I look round, and I drive my knife, good aim into his heart, and press to other hand on his mouth. But he make no noise. He stroke a little, and look up, and then I throw off the head of the gown, and show him my black face, and he look, and he try to speak. But I stop that, for down go my knife again, and a damn galley-slave dared as herring. Stop, Mestie, we must tell this to Don Phillip, said Gascoine. Dead? Don Silvio dead? Well, Mestie, we are eternally obliged to you, for there was no safety for my father while he was living. Let him go on. So when I put the knife through his body, I lie down by him, as if nothing had happened, for ten minutes, and then I take the bag of dollars from under him head, and then I feel him all over, and I find him pistols and him purse, which I have here, all gold. So I take them, and I look, all asleep, and I crawl back to the tree. Then I stay to tink a little. The man on watch come up and look at me, but he tink all right, and he go away again. Lucky tink by that power, did I go back to tree. I wait again, and then I crawl and crawl till I clear of all, and then I take to my heel and run from life, until daylight come, and then I so tired I lie down in bush. I stay in bush all day, and then I sit off again back here, for I find road and know my way. I not eat then for one day and one night, and came to house where I put my head in, and find the woman there. I not able to speak, so I help myself, and not show my face. She not like that, and make a boobery. But I lift up my cloak, and show my black face and white teeth, and she tink me the devil. She run out of the house, and I help myself very quick, and then set off and come close here yesterday morning. I hide myself all day and come in at night. And no, Master Easy, you have to hold truth, and you have just thousand dollars, and you have got rid of that rascal friar and a damn galley-slave Don Silvio. Tell them all this Ned, said Jack, who, whilst Gascoigne was so employed, talked with Mesti. I was very much frightened for you, Mesti, said Jack. But still I thought you quite as cunning as the friar, and so it has turned out. But the thousand dollars ought to be yours. No, Thor, replied Mesti, the dollars not mine, but I have plenty of gold in Don Silvio's purse, plenty, plenty of gold. I keep my property, Master Easy, and you keep yours. I am afraid that this affair may be found out, Mesti. The woman will spread the report of having been attacked by a black friar, and that will lead to suspicion, as the other friars of the convent knew that you left with friar to Marceau. So I think that. But when a man starve, he quite forget his thought. I don't blame you, but now I must talk to Don Philip. Suppose you know objection, while you talk, I eat something from the table, then, Master Easy, for I hungry enough to eat the friar, mule, and all. Eat, my good fellow, and drink as much as you please. The consultation between our two midshipmen and Don Philip was not long. They perceived the immediate necessity for the departure of Mesti, and the suspicion which were attached to themselves. Don Philip and Agnes left them to go to Don Riviera, and make him acquainted with what had passed, and to ask advice. When they went into the room, Don Riviera immediately accosted his son. Have you heard, Philip, that friar to Marceau has returned at last? So the servants tell me. The report may be fortunate, replied Don Philip, but I have another story to tell you. Then he sat down and imparted to Don Riviera all the adventures of Mesti. Don Riviera was, for some time, in deep thought. At last he replied, that Don Silvio is no more is fortunate, and the negro would be entitled to reward for his destruction. But for the friar that is a bad business. The negro might remain and tell the whole story, and the facts might be proved by evidence of Signor Easy and the letters. But what then? We should raise the whole host of the clergy against our house, and we have suffered too much from them already. The best plan would be the immediate departure not only of the negro, but of our two young friends. The supposition of friar to Marceau being here and their departure with the negro servant to rejoin their ship will remove much suspicion and destroy all inquiry. They must be off immediately, go to them Philip, and point out to them the absolute necessity of this measure, and tell our young friend that I rigidly adhere to my promise, and as soon as he has his father's sanction I will bestow upon him my daughter. In the meantime I will send down to see if a vessel can be chartered for Malta. Our hero and Gascoen fully admitted the wisdom of this measure and prepared for their departure. Indeed, now that Don Riviera's resolution had been made known to our hero he cared more for obtaining his father's consent than he did for remaining to enjoy himself at Palermo, and before noon of the next day all was ready. The vessel had been procured, Jack took his leave of Agnes and her mother, and accompanied by Don Riviera and Don Philip, for Don Martin was on duty a few miles from Palermo, went down to the beach, and having bid them fair well embarked with Gascoen and Mesti on board of the two-mastered Lantine which had been engaged, and before sunset not a steeple of Palermo was to be seen. What are you thinking of, Jack? said Gascoen after our hero had been silent half an hour. I have been thinking, Ned, that we are well out of it. So do I, replied Gascoen, and hear the conversation dropped for a time. What are you thinking now, Jack? said Gascoen after a long pause. I have been thinking that I have a good story for the old governor. Very true, replied Gascoen, and both were again silent for some time. What are you thinking of now, Jack? said Gascoen after another long interval. I have been thinking that I shall leave the service, replied Jack. I wish you would take me with you, replied Gascoen with a sigh. And again they were both in deep contemplation. What are you thinking of now, Jack? said Gascoen again. Of Agnes, replied our hero. Well, if that's the case, I'll call you when supper's ready. In the meantime, I'll go and talk with Mesti. End of Chapter 33 Chapter 34 of Mr. Midshipman Easy This is a LibriVox recording, or LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Mr. Midshipman Easy by Captain Frank Marriott, read by Adrian Pretzelis. Chapter 34 Jack leaves the service, in which he had no business, and goes home to mind his own business. On the fourth day they arrived at Malta, and our two Midshipmen, as soon as they had settled with the padron of the vessel, went up to the Government House. They found the Governor in the veranda, who held out both his hands, one to each. Glad to see you, my lads. Well, Jack, how's the leg? All right. Don't limp, and your arm, Gascoen. All right, sir, and sound as ever it was, replied they both. Then you're in luck, and have made more haste than you deserve after your mad pranks. But now sit down, and I suppose, my friend Jack, you have a story to tell me. Oh yes, Sir Thomas, and a very long one. Then I won't have it now, for I expect people on business. We'll have it after dinner. Get your things up and take possession of your rooms. The Aurora sailed four days ago. You've had a wonderful recovery. Wonderful, sir, replied our hero, or Palermo rings with it. Well, you may go now. I shall see you at dinner. Wilson will be delighted when he hears that you've got round again, for he was low-spirited about it, I can tell you, which is more than you deserve. He's right there, said our hero to Gascoen as they walked away. When dinner was over, Jack narrated to the Governor the adventures of Mesti, with which he was much interested, and when they were quite alone in the evening, the Governor called our two midshipmen into the veranda and said, Now, my lads, I'm not going to preach as the saying is, but I've been long enough in the world to know that a compound fracture of the leg is not cured in fourteen or sixteen days. I ask you to tell me the truth. Did not you deceive Captain Wilson on this point? I'm ashamed to say that we did, sir, replied easy. How did you manage that, and why? Jack then went into further details relative to himself and his amour, stating his wish to be left behind, and all that had passed. Well, there's some excuse for you, but none for the surgeons. If any surgeon here had paid such a trick, I would have hug him as sure as I'm Governor. This affair of yours has become very serious. Mr. Easy, we must have some conversation on the matter tomorrow morning. The next morning the packet from England was reported off the harbour's mouth. After breakfast the letters were brought on shore, and the Governor sent for our hero. Mr. Easy, there are two letters for you, I'm sorry to say, with black seals. I trust they do not bring the intelligence of the death of any very near relative. Jack bowed without speaking, took the letters, and went to his room. The first he opened was from his father. My dear John, you will be much grieved to hear that your poor mother, after sitting in the corner for nearly two years waiting for the millennium, appeared to pine away. Whether from disappointment or not, I do not know. But at last, in spite of all Dr. Middleton could do, she departed this life. As the millennium would not come to her as she expected, it is to be hoped she is gone to the millennium. She was a good wife, and I always let her have her own way. Dr. Middleton does not appear to be satisfied as to the cause of her death, and has wished to examine. But I said no, for I am a philosopher, and it is no use looking for causes after effects. But I have done since her death what she never would permit me to do during her life. I have had her head shaved, and examined it very carefully as a phrenologist, and most curiously has she proved the truth of the sublime science. I will give you the result. Determination, very prominent. Benevolence, small. Caution, extreme. Veneration, not very great. Filer progenitiveness, strange to say, is very large, considering she had but one child. Imagination, very strong. You know, my dear boy, she was always imagining some nonsense or another. Her other organs were all moderate. Poor dear creature, she is gone and we may well wail, for a better mother or better wife never existed. And now, my dear boy, I must request that you call for your discharge, and come home as soon as possible. I cannot exist without you, and I require your assistance in the grand work I have in contemplation. The time is at hand, the cause of equality will soon triumph. The abject slaves now hold up their heads. I have electrified them with my speeches, but I am getting old and feeble. I require my son to leave my mantle to, as one prophet did to another, and then I will, like him, ascend in glory. Your affectionate father, Nicodemus easy. From this it would appear, thought Jack, that my mother is dead, and that my father is mad. For some time my hero remained in a melancholy mood. He dropped many tears to the memory of his mother, whom, if he had never respected, he had much loved. And it was not till half an hour had elapsed that he thought of opening the other letter. It was from Dr Middleton. My dear boy, although not a correspondent of yours, I take the right of having watched you through all your childhood, and from a knowledge of your disposition, to write you a few lines. That you have, by this time, discarded your father's foolish nonsensical philosophy, I am very sure. It was I who advised your going away for that purpose, and I am sure that, as a young man of sense, and the heir to a large property, you will before this have seen the fallacy of your father's doctrines. Your father tells me that he has requested you to come home, and allow me to add any weight that I may have with you in persuading you to do the same. It is fortunate for you that the estate is entailed, or you might soon be a beggar, for there is no saying what debts he might, in his madness, be guilty of. He has already been dismissed from the magistrates he by the Lord Lieutenant, in consequence of his haranguing the discontented peasantry, and I may say, exciting them to acts of violence and insubordination. He has been seen dancing and harrying round a stack fired by an incendiary. He has turned away his keepers, and allowed all poachers to go over the manor. In short, he is not in his senses, and although I am far from advising coercive measures, I do consider it is absolutely necessary that you should immediately return home to look after what will one day be your property. You have no occasion to follow the profession with eight thousand pounds per annum. You have distinguished yourself. Now make room for those who require it for their subsistence. God bless you. I shall soon hope to shake hands with you. Yours most truly, G. Middleton. There was matter for deep reflection in these two letters, and Jack never felt before how much his father had been in the wrong. That he had gradually been weaned from his ideas was true, but still he had to a certain degree clung to them as we do to habit. But now he felt that his eyes were opened. The silly, almost unfeeling letter of his father upon the occasion of his mother's death opened his eyes. For a long while Jack was in a melancholy meditation, and then casting his eyes upon his watch he perceived that it was almost dinner time, that he could eat his dinner was certain, and he scorned to pretend to feel what he did not. He therefore dressed himself and went down, grave at his true, but not in tears. He spoke little at dinner, and retired as soon as it was over, presenting his two letters to the governor and asking his advice for the next morning. Gasko in followed him, and to him he confided his trouble, and Ned, finding that Jack was very low-spirited, consoled him to the best of his power, and brought a bottle of wine which he procured from the butler. Before they returned to bed, Jack had given his ideas to his friend, which were approved of, and wishing him a good night, he threw himself into bed and was soon fast asleep. One thing is certain, my good fellow, observed the governor to our hero as he gave him back his letters at the breakfast table the next morning. That your father is mad as a March Hare. I agree with that doctor, who appears a sensible man, that you had better go home immediately. And leave the service altogether, sir? replied Jack. Why, I must say that I do not think you exactly fitted for it. I shall be sorry to lose you as you have a wonderful talent for adventure, and I shall have no more yarns to hear when you return. But, if I understand right from Captain Wilson, you were brought into the profession because he thought that the service might be of use in eradicating false notions, rather than from any intention or necessity of your following it up as a profession. I suspect that was the case, sir, replied Jack, as, for my own part, I hardly know why I entered it. To find a mayor's nest, my lad, I've heard all about it, but never mind that. The question is now about your leaving it, to look after your own property, and I think I may venture to say that I can arrange all that matter at once, without referring to admiral or captain. I will be responsible for you, and you may go home in the packet which sails on Wednesday for England. Thank you, Sir Thomas. I am much obliged to you, replied Jack. You, Mr. Gascoigne, I shall of course send out by the first opportunity to rejoin your ship. Thank you, Sir Thomas. I am much obliged to you, replied Gascoigne, making a bow. Your break no more arms, if you please, sir, continued the Governor. A man in love may have some excuse in breaking his leg, but you have none. I beg your pardon, sir. If Mr. Easy was warranted in breaking his leg out of love, I submit that I could do no less than break my arm out of friendship. Hold your tongue, sir, or I'll break your head from the very opposite feeling. Replied the Governor good-humidly. But observe, young man, I shall keep this affair secret as in on a bound, but let me advise you, as you have only your profession to look to, to follow it up steadily. It is high time that you and Mr. Easy were separated. He is independent of the service, and you are not. A young man possessing such ample means will never be fitted for the duties of a junior officer. He can do no good for himself, and is certain to do much harm to others. A continuance of his friendship would probably end in your ruin, Mr. Gascoigne. You must be aware that if the greatest indulgence had not been shown to Mr. Easy by his captain and first lieutenant, he never could have remained in the service so long as he has done. As the Governor made the last remark in a rather severe tone, our two midshipmen were silent for a minute. At last Jack observed very quietly, and yet, sir, I think, considering all, I have behaved pretty well. You have behaved very well, my good lad, on all occasions in which your courage and conduct as an officer have been called forth, I admit it. And had you been at sea with a mind properly regulated, and without such an unlimited command of money, I have no doubt but that you would have proved an ornament to the service. Even now I think you would, if you were to remain in the service under proper guidance and necessary restrictions, for you have at least learned to obey, which is absolutely necessary before you are fit to command. But recollect what your conduct would have brought upon you if you had not been under the parental care of Captain Wilson. But let us say no more about that. I am a midshipman with the prospect of eight thousand pounds a year is an anomaly which the service cannot admit, especially when that midshipman is resolved to take to himself a wife. I hope that you approve of that step, sir. That entirely depends upon the merits of the party, which I know nothing of except that she has a pretty face, and is of one of the best Sicilian families. I think the difference of religion a ground of objection. We will argue that point, sir, replied Jack. Perhaps it will be the cause of more argument than you think for, Mr. Easy. For every man makes his own bed, and as he makes it, so must he lie down in it. What am I to do about Mesti, sir? I cannot bear the idea of parting with him. I am afraid that you must. I cannot well interfere there. He is a little used to the service, sir. He has been sent to sick quarters as my servant. If he may be permitted to go home with me, I will procure his discharge as soon as I arrive and send him on board of the guard-ship till I obtain it. I think that, on the whole, he is as well out of the service as in it, and therefore I will, on consideration, take upon myself the responsibility provided you do, as you say. The conversation was here ended, as the governor had business to attend to, and Jack and Gascoigne went to their rooms to make their arrangements. The governor is right, observed Gascoigne. It is better that we part, Jack. You have half unfitted me for the service already. I have a disgust of the midshipman's birth. The very smell of pitch and tar has become odious to me. This is all wrong. I must forget you, and all our present cruises on shore, and once more swelter in my greasy jacket. When I think that, if our pretended accidents were discovered, I should be dismissed from the service, and the misery which that would cause to my poor father, I tremble at my escape. The governor is right, Jack. We must part. But I hope you will never forget me. My hand upon it, Ned, command my interest, if ever I have any. My money, what I have in the house, whether it belongs to me or my father, as far as you are concerned at least, I adhere to my notions of perfect equality. I abjure them, I trust Jack as a universal principle. I admit, as the governor asserts, that my father is as mad as a March Hare. That is sufficient. You don't know how glad it makes me to hear you say that. The two friends were inseparable during the short time that they remained together. They talked over their future prospects, their hopes and anticipations, and when the conversation flagged, Gascoyne brought up the name of Agnes. Mestis' delight at leaving the service and going home with his patron was indescribable. He laid out a portion of his gold in a suit of plain clothes, white linen shirts, and in every respect, the wardrobe of a man of fashion. In fact, he was now a complete gentleman's gentleman, and was very particular in frizzing his woolly hair, wore a white neckcloth, gloves, and cane. Everyone felt inclined to laugh when he made his appearance, but there was something in Mestis' look which, at all events, prevented their doing so before his face. The day for sailing arrived. Jack took leave of the governor, thanking him for his great kindness, and stating his intention of taking Malta in his way out to Palermo in a month or two. Gascoyne went on board with him and did not go down the vessel's side till it was more than a mile clear of the harbour. Please visit LibriVox.org Mr. Midshipman Easy by Captain Frank Marriott Read by Adrian Pretzelis Chapter 35 Mr. Easy's wonderful invention fully explained by himself, much to the satisfaction of our hero, and it is to be presumed to that also of the reader. At last the packet anchored in Falmouth roads. Jack, accompanied by Mestis, was soon on shore with his luggage, threw himself into the mail, arrived in London, and, waiting there two or three days to obtain what he considered necessary from a fashionable tailor, ordered a chaise to Forest Hill. He had not written to his father to announce his arrival, and it was late in the morning when the chaise drew up at his father's door. Jack stepped out and rang the bell. The servants who opened the door did not know him. They were not the same as those he left. Where is Mr. Easy? demanded Jack. Who are you? replied one of the men in a gruff tone. By the powers you'll very soon find out who he is. Observed, Mestis. Stay here and I'll see if he's at home. Stay here, stay in the hall like a footman. What do you mean you rascal? cried Jack, attempting to push by the man. Oh, that won't do here, master. This is equity hall. One man's as good as another. Not always, replied Jack, knocking him down. Take that for your insolence. Pack up your traps and walk out of the house tomorrow morning. Mestis, in the meantime, had seized the other by the throat. What do I do with this fellow, master Easy? Leave him now, Mestis. We'll settle their account tomorrow morning. I presume I shall find my father in the library. His father, said one of the men to the other. He's not exactly a chip off the old block. We shall have a change, I expect, replied the other as they walked away. Mestis, cried Jack, in an authoritative tone, putting those two rascals back to take the luggage out of the shays, pay the postillian and tell the housekeeper to show you to my room, and yours. Come to me for orders as soon as you have done this. Yes, sir, replied Mestis. No, come here, you damned blaggard, and take things out of the shays. Or, by the holy poker, I choke your love, both of you. The filed teeth, the savage look, and determination of Mestis had the due effect. The men sullenly returned and unloaded the shays. In the meantime, Jack walked into his father's study. His father was there. The study was lighted up with argon lamps, and Jack looked with astonishment. Mr. Easy was busy with a plaster cast of a human head, which he poured over so that he did not perceive the entrance of his son. The cast of the skull was divided into many compartments, with writing on each. But what most astonished our hero was the alteration in the apartment. The bookcases and books had all been removed, and in the centre, suspended from the ceiling, was an apparatus which would have puzzled anyone, composed of rods in every direction, with screws at the end of them, and also tubes in equal number, one of which communicated with a large air pump which stood on a table. Jack took a short survey, and then walked up to his father and accosted him. What! exclaimed Mr. Easy. Is it possible? Yes, it's my son, John. I'm glad to see you, John. Very glad indeed, continued the old gentleman, shaking him by both hands. Very glad that you have come home. I wanted you, wanted your assistance in my great and glorious project, which, I thank heaven, is now advancing rapidly. Very soon shall equity and the rights of man be proclaimed everywhere. The pressure from without is enormous, and the bulwarks of our ridiculous and tyrannical constitution must give way. King, lords and aristocrats, landlords, tithe collectors, church and state, thank God, will soon be overthrown. And the golden age revived, the millennium, the true millennium. Not what your poor mother talked about. I am at the head of twenty-nine societies, and if my health lasts, you will see what I will accomplish now that I have your assistance, Jack. And Mr. Easy's eyes sparkled and flashed in all the brilliance of incipient insanity. Jack sighed, and to turn the conversation he observed, you have made a great change in this room, sir. What may all this be for? Is it a machine to improve equality and the rights of man? My dear son, replied Mr. Easy, sitting down and crossing his legs complacently, with his two hands under his right thigh, according to his usual custom, when much pleased with himself. Why, my dear son, that is not exactly the case, and yet you have shown some degree of perception, even in your guess. For if my invention succeeds, and I have no doubt of it, I shall have discovered the great art of rectifying the mistakes of nature, and giving any quality of organization to the whole species, of introducing all the finer organs of humanity, and of destroying the baser. It is a splendid invention, Jack, very splendid. They may talk of call and spur-time and all those, but what have they done? Nothing but divided the brain into section, classed the organs, and discovered where they reside. But what good result has been gained from that? The murderer, by nature, remained a murderer, the benevolent man, a benevolent man, he could not alter his organization. I have found out how to change all that. Surely, sir, you would not interfere with the organ of benevolence. But indeed I must, Jack, I myself, and suffering from my organ of benevolence, being too large, I must reduce it, and then I shall be capable of greater things, shall not be so terrified by difficulties, shall overlook trifles, and only carry on great schemes for universal equality, and the supreme rights of man. I have put myself into that machine every morning for two hours, for these last three months, and I feel now I am daily losing a great portion. Will you do me the favour to explain an invention so extraordinary, sir? said our hero. Most willingly, my boy, you observe that in the centre there is a frame to confine the human head, somewhat larger than the head itself, and that the head rests upon the iron collar beneath. When the head is thus firmly fixed, suppose I want to reduce the size of any particular organ. I take the boss corresponding to where that organ is situated in the cranium, and fix it on it. For you will observe that all the bosses inside of the top of the frame correspond to the organs as described in this plaster cast on the table. I then screw down pretty tight, and increase the pressure daily, until the organ disappears altogether, or is reduced to the size required. I comprehend that part perfectly, sir, replied Jack, but now explain to me by what method you can try to raise an organ which does not previously exist. That, replied Mr. Easy, is the greatest perfection of the whole invention, for without I could do that I could have done little. I feel convinced that this invention of mine will immortalise me. Observe all these little bell-glasses which communicate with the air-pump. I shave my patient's head, a grease it a little, and fix on the bell-glass, which is exactly shaped to fix the organ in length and breadth. I work the air-pump and raise the organ by an exhausted receiver. It cannot fail. There is my butler now, a man who escaped hanging last spring of sizes on an undoubted charge of murder. I selected him on purpose. I have flattened down murder to nothing, and I have raised benevolence till it is like a wen. I am afraid my poor father's head is an exhausted receiver, thought Jack, who then replied, Well, sir, if it succeeds it will be a good invention. If it succeeds, why it has succeeded it cannot fail. It has cost me near two thousand pounds. Either by Jack you have drawn very liberally lately, and I had some trouble with my own expenses to meet your bills. Not that I complain, but what with societies in my machine and tenants refusing to pay their rents, on the principle that the farms are no more mine than theirs, which I admit to be true, I have had some difficulty in meeting all demands. The Governor was right, thought Jack, who now inquired after Dr. Middleton. Ah, poor, silly man, he is alive yet, I believe doing well. He is one who will interfere with the business of others, complains of my servant, very silly man indeed, but I let him have his own way, so I did your poor mother. Silly woman, which is easy, but never mind that. If you please, sir, I have also a complaint to make of the servants for their insolence to me, but we will adjourn, if you please, as I wish to have some refreshment. Certainly, Jack, if you are hungry, I will go with you. Complain of my servants, sir, you must be some mistake. They are all shaved and wear wigs, and I put them in the machine every other morning. But I mean to make an alteration in one respect. You observe, Jack, it requires more dignity. We must raise the whole machinery some feet, ascend it with state as a throne, for it is the throne of reason, the victory of mind over nature. Ah, as you please, sir, but I am really hungry just now. Jack and his father went into the dooring room and rang the bell. Not being answered, Jack rose and rang again. My dear sir, observed Mr. Easy, you must not be in a hurry. Every man naturally provides for his own wants first, and afterwards for those of others. Now my servants are a set of insolence scoundrels, sir, and insolence I never permit. I knocked one down as I entered your house, and with permission I will discharge two at least tomorrow. My dear son, exclaimed Mr. Easy, you knocked my servants down? Are you not aware by the laws of equality? I am aware of this, my dear father, replied Jack, that by all the laws of society we have a right to expect civility and obedience from those we pay and feed. Pay and feed? Why, my dear son, my dear Jack, you must recollect. I recollect, sir, very well, but if your servants do not come to their recollection in a very short time, either I or they must quit the house. But, my dear boy, have you forgotten the principles I instilled into you? Did you not go to sea to obtain that equality foiled by tyranny and despotism here on shore? Do you not acknowledge and support my philosophy? We'll argue that point tomorrow, sir. At present I want to obtain my supper. And Jack rang the bell furiously. The butler made his appearance at this last summons, and he was followed by Mestie, who looked like a demon with anger. Mestie on me! Whom have we here? My servant father, exclaimed Jack, starting up, one that I can trust to. And who will obey me? Mestie, I wish some supper and wine to be brought immediately. See that scoundrel gets it ready in a moment. If he does not, throw him out the door and lock him out. You understand me? Yes, master, grinned Mestie. No, you have supper very quick, or Mestie know the reason why. Follow me, sir, cried Mestie in an imperative tone to the butler. Quick, sir, or bide a holy poker I'd so you what Mestie can do. And Mestie grinned in his wrath. Bring supper and wine immediately, said Mr. Easy, giving an order such as the butler had never heard since he had been in the house. The butler quitted the room followed by the Ashanti. My dear boy, my Jack, I can make every allowance for hunger. It is often the cause of theft and crime in the present unnatural state of society. But really you are too violent. The principles. Your principles are all confounding nonsense, father, cried Jack in a rage. What, Jack, my son, what do I hear? This from you? Nonsense. Why, Jack, what has Captain Wilson been doing with you? Bringing me to my senses, sir. Ah, dear, ah, dear, my dear Jack, you will certainly make me lose mine. Gone already, thought Jack. That you, my child, so carefully brought up in the great and glorious school of philosophy, should behave this way, should be so violent. Forget your sublime philosophy in all, just like Esau, selling your birthright for a mess of potage. Oh, Jack, you'll kill me. And yet I love you, Jack. Whom else have I to love in this world? Never mind. We'll argue the point, my boy. I'll convince you, in a week all will be right again. It shall, sir, if I can manage it, replied Jack. That's right. I love to hear you say so. That's consoling, very consoling. But I think now I was wrong to let you go to see Jack. Indeed you were not, father. Well, I'm glad to hear you say so. I thought they had ruined you, destroyed all your philosophy. But it will be all right again. You shall come to our societies, Jack. I am president. You shall hear me speak, Jack. You shall hear me thunder like Demosthenes. But here comes the tray. The butler, followed by Mesti, who attended him as if he was his prisoner, now made his appearance with the tray, laid it down in a sulky manner and retired. Jack desired Mesti to remain. Well, Mesti, how are they getting on in the servants-hall? Regular mutiny, sir. I've swear that they know stand or nonsense, and that we both leave the house, to-morrow. Do you hear, sir? Your servants declare that I shall leave your house to-morrow. You leave my house, Jack, after four years' absence? No, no. I'll reason with them. I'll make a speech. You don't know how I can speak, Jack. Look, you father, I cannot stand this. Either give me carte blanche to arrange this household as I please, or I shall quit it myself to-morrow morning. Quit my house, Jack? No, no. Shake hands and make friends with them. Be civil, and they will serve you. But you know, upon the principles, principles of the devil, cried Jack in a rage. Oh, the devil, Jack, dear me, I wish you had never gone to see. In one word, sir, do you consent or am I to leave the house? Leave the house? Oh, no, not leave the house, Jack. I have no son but you. Then do as you please, but you must not send away my murderer, for I must have him cured and shown as a proof of my wonderful invention. Mestie, get my pistols ready for to-morrow morning, and your own, too. Do you hear? Already, master, replied Mestie, I tink that right. Right. Pistols, Jack, what do you mean? It is possible, father, that you may not have yet quite cured your murderer, and therefore it is as well to be prepared. I will now wish you good night, but before I go you will be pleased to summon one of the servants that he may inform the others that the household is under my control for the future. The bell was again rung, and was this time answered with more expedition. Jack told the servant, in the presence of his father, that with the consent of the latter he should thereafter take the whole control of the establishment, and that Mestie would be the major domo from whom they would receive their orders. The man stared, and cast an appealing look to Mr. Easy, who hesitated, and at last said, Yes, William, you'll apologise to all and say that I have made the arrangement. You apologise to none, sir, cried Jack, but tell them that I will arrange the whole business to-morrow morning. Tell the woman to come here and show me my bedroom. Mestie, get your supper, and then come up to me. If they dare to refuse you, recollect who does, and point them out to-morrow morning. That will do, sir, away with you, and bring flat candlesticks.