 Welcome back to the 21 convention 2019 of Orlando, Florida our next speaker. There's been a long time coming He's been recommended over and over again by some of our top alumni speakers like AJ Cortez and Adelaide Moore and Tanner Guzzi and more He is also the world's most controversial and the man is fair as a most controversial dating coach Without further ado, please. I'll be welcome Pat Stadman to the 21 convention stage We're gonna talk about that controversy a little bit later on in the talk But first I wanted to introduce myself and how I got into this corner of the internet Like many of you it began with a breakup. So spring of 2008 My girlfriend of many years high school girlfriends broke up with me and I was devastated I didn't know how I got her to be honest. She was a very attractive girl. She had pursued me and When it was over, I felt as if My entire history with girls was going to be over certainly with attractive girls Because that summer I was like, I mean, I was just kind of in like a hopeless situation And I was taking some summer classes and I was walking down the street past the campus Bookstore and I saw this book in the window You guys can guess what the book was the game Now this book for me was a little bit interesting because months earlier I had been just in the cafeteria. I've been reading a book review and like the campus newspaper This girl she was so pissed off about this book. She was like, well, you know, this is this is completely ridiculous There's no way this stuff works if it did work like the girls were something was really messed up with them And I was reading this then I was still in the relationship at that point And I just remember thinking like well, she's so upset. There must be some truth to it And so when I saw that book, I did a double take and decided to go get it and it changed my life Now Neil Strauss is a great writer So it's easy to read and the material in it was very interesting right and gives a good foundational Idea of how attraction works, but the real thing about that book that changed my life was the fact that It showed me that I could change who I was I could change my behavior. I Could be a different guy. I didn't have to be a guy who is constantly being Having having to to be at other people's schedule, right? If there's an attractive girl I could talk to her I could make something happen And it was that mindset that that changed my life. And so I won't go through all the different Places that I explored during that journey that would be a very long talk Some very skivvy pickup sites one of the companies that really gave me a lot of perspective though as a social man and To 21 alumni 21 convention alumni Christian Hudson Nick Sparks. I trained under Nick Sparks in particular and His way of attraction really vibed with me because he understood game But there was other things that he understood too about being an authentic man and So when I was ready to leave my corporate job and I was in his alumni group And I had been doing a lot of stuff answering questions for other alumni. I didn't know what I wanted to do I was considering starting a cookie business With some friends, which very good thing that didn't happen They encouraged me to become a coach because they said you're already been helping us like one why not do it professionally? And it was very strange for me at the time to think that the student could become the teacher But that took me out on this journey now the stuff that I had learned from Nick About authenticity it kind of got me down this other direction. So I started to go a little bit new age I was very curious about how deep could I go down that that rabbit hole of trying to explore yourself and figure it out And I learned some interesting things from them I thought that maybe they had the truth But when I spent a lot of time with them out in California, I found that that wasn't the case They had they knew some things but a lot of the people there. They didn't understand sexual dynamics They understand themselves in a certain way because they were very depolarized And the guys who clearly had some degree of game were clean up with all the women where the guys who were exploring their feelings and sharing them Weren't doing so well So I was trying to figure this out And so when I you know around 2016 2017 when I entered onto Twitter into the manosphere I kind of came back to my roots. I saw a lot had changed. It's a little bit different than the early years of pickup You had now people talking a lot more about macro level sexual dynamics rather than just game It was very interesting to me And so my whole idea at this time was trying to reconcile these different fields together What is the idea? You know, you have people who are all about game They think that game is the way that you attract women others. It's about authenticity others. It's about looks How does this all fit together? And so I started to ask some questions taking some of the new information I had been learning in the manosphere and I found very quickly that for some people Asking questions was not something you were allowed to do And so very quickly I got the moniker purple pill Honestly, I don't know what the fuck that means It reminds me of a time when like I was that I almost got into a fight with this British guy in Krakow And he called me a muppet. It's like It's like laughed at it. I'm like a muppet. I'm not into all this pill stuff I'm just a guy who thinks Who tries to figure stuff out who's looking for the truth and the truth is a never-ending process It's a never-ending dialogue The only real red pill is that there's another red pill And if you ever get comfortable in your assumptions That's when you start to get stuck and so as a man I want you guys to remember this before we go into the bulk of the presentation Which is the framework that I created just that this is my framework. I developed it from thinking about Attraction from all sorts of different fields But just because I made up this framework. It doesn't mean that you guys have to follow it think for yourselves. I Am not the arbiter of your truth No one is and if someone says that they are they're an audiologue and they're very afraid of learning anything else so this framework is known as the three pillars of attraction now, I know people are using pillars a lot, but I've been using pillars for a long time. So this is you know, I can't I can't change it The first pillar of attraction This marker is kind of crappy first pillar of attraction is Pre-selection now pre-selection. What is pre-selection and by the way guys, I'm sorry about using the whiteboard But when I left corporate, I was like, I'm never fucking using PowerPoint again. I just I hate PowerPoint so much So just gonna have to deal with it Pre-selection is your marketing It's also your passive framing and what does that mean? Well, if it's your marketing it means it's responsible for generating leads Because it's passive framing. It's the things that women see about you before you say or do anything at all Very very powerful stuff pre-selection Pre-selection can be divided into two different sections more or less You have aesthetics and you have status so as part of aesthetics You have things that are unfortunately not in your control for the most part, which is your your bone structure How does your face look your height? But you have things also that you can very very much control and I don't have to belabor this Every guy has been talking about the importance of it if you don't get it by the end of this conference You're never gonna fucking get it. You need to lift weights. You need to get in shape Aim for a body fat percentage between 10 to 15 percent If you're above 15 percent, you're not optimized if you're above 20 percent, you're overweight Under 10% if you want to do it for yourself go ahead, but you're more likely to attract dudes than girls So take that into consideration Grooming matters talk to George Bruno about that Style matters talk to Tanner Guzzi about that All of these things are What a woman sees about you at first and it gets her interested in you Makes her start to think who is this guy? He's attractive, right? He's attractive, but it's just the marketing Just getting her attention Thank you, Anthony The second part of pre-selection Is the status the status can be broken down into three main categories That's much better money Money is more of a comfort creator than a desire creator. It's part of attraction But the main thing about about money is that well first it sub communicates perhaps that there's more to you Because you have this money, right? So maybe you're an aggressive guy So there's all sorts of other subtle signifiers that money has But the real value of money is that it's an amplifier and it allows you to do all sorts of stuff with a girl So, you know if you don't have any cash, okay? Maybe you're a charming guy Maybe you're a good-looking guy and that stuff will work in your in your early 20s, right? You can take a girl out to like get fast food or something like that But especially as time goes on you don't get that pass as you get into your 30s having money becomes Something that's expected and in your 40s beyond it's it's frankly Unacceptable to not have it to not have yourself figured out because it communicates also Are you somebody that she can respect can you provide for yourself? So money is very powerful in that sense and girls are going to be interested in you if you have money now The caliber of the girls some other question Because you're leading with something that they might want to take from you And so you have to be very careful if you're leading with it, but there's no question that money is a marketing campaign for you It draws attention to you Then you have fame Fame in contrast the money is pure desire Now, well, how do you get fame a talent or skill and you're good at it and you can perform with it So and and I want to you guys to keep in mind with this a lot of people think fame like oh I'm not like a famous person. I'm not some you know super big artist or some big, you know singer or whatever All of this stuff is relative Okay, so if you're in a room filled with a lot of attractive people you being attractive, okay? You're at neutral right now because everybody's pre-selection is the same so you don't stand out And so the same thing works the other direction So if you're a guy who's playing you know the guitar at the coffee shop, right? You have high fame in that environment people are paying attention to you a lot of guys have gotten late at parties because they bring a fucking guitar And they're like do they play like same fucking five chords over and over again Girls dig it because girls want attention right girls want attention. It's their currency and so fame Has everybody's attention and so you the value of your attention is amplified because of everybody else looking at you And then you have popularity Popularity is a mix of both Popularity is something I work on a lot with clients. I'm a big fan of social circle game It's extremely powerful in my opinion It also has a lot of compound effects for your life because you have more people that you know When you're a popular guy you host parties, right? You bring people together. You're a leader and you're a networker And so people want to be people want to be around you. They want to talk to you And if a girl sees that She's gonna want to talk to you too. You host a party with even just 30 people, right? And a girl brings her friends there her friends are gonna see you and they're gonna your pre-selection is gonna be through the roof It's a very very powerful And it's it's useful because you just also have a huge much more network and people will come to you So that's pre-selection All things that work passively to set the frame that you are a valuable guy But it's only the first pillar Second pillar is persona persona is your sales Persona is what a lot of people will refer to as game Although it's a little bit more than that, but it's your sales And it's your active framing. So pre-selection works passively in the background persona You have to do something to create the same effects So with persona there are two main things that you have to understand to be good at it The first is awareness and discernment. So think of yourself as if you're an infantry captain and you have to assault Let's say across the river, you know, but you know, there's an enemy over there, but you don't know What's over there? The first thing you have to do if you're a commander worth anything is gather recon get intel If you don't have any idea of what's going on anything that you do is going to be bad You're you're like you're really making a big big risk for your men if you do that and the same thing is true with game You need to have an awareness of what's going on in the situation So being able to read social dynamics being able to understand a woman's sexual strategy But also being able to understand psychology, right? Hypergamy plays a role in here because hypergamy is a woman's sexual strategy so to speak But it's also the female shadow. So it's part of a woman. But what else is going on in that woman's life?