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Published on Jul 24, 2010
We went to people's homes and said we were from an organization called "United Neighborhood Citizen's Home Appearance Patrol" and told them they had to change certain things about the appearance of their house. This is Episode 1 of an entire new series of UNCHAP episodes! This is what the bogus letter we gave them said:
"It has been brought to our attention that you are in violation of ordinance 916.5 section B4. According to this particular infraction you must bring up to date all necessary adjustments in accordance with UNCHAP's standard requirements including (but not limited to), overcoming all official agreements pertaining to UNCHAP. You are hereby notified that unless the adjustments required are not brought current within 24 hours, a final notice and warning will be issued. If within 24 hours of the time you were issued the warning you have still not complied with the demand, an official citation will be issued. If within 24 hours later, the adjustments have still not been made you will receive an actual "notice of default to comply with UNCHAP's regulations". At that time, all necessary steps will be taken to assist in the official final moments of UNCHAP's standard process of elimination regarding your home's appearance. However, if within 30 minutes from the time you are issued this letter you do in fact comply with the ordinance, it will be deemed that all parties involved in the infraction will be cleared of all violations.
The primary goal of UNCHAP is to secure the optimal appearance of your home in accordance with official regulations.
We thank you for your cooperation and look forward to the resolution of this matter.
Frank Downey Regulatory Chief of Staff (Roseville Division) Unit 3 UNCHAP"