 Well, now I'll take you back to that story about the late gospel singer Usinachi Unwajiku, who was killed by her husband, who died as a result of injuries which she got from beatings from her husband. That incident has generated intense interest and questions about the theology surrounding marriage, because she was said to have repeatedly refused to leave that toxic marriage, believing that it is a sin against her Christian faith. Well, we have been joined by Pastor Fermi Fasher, resident pastor KICC Lagos. Pastor Fermi, good evening to you. Good evening, you know. Well, you've written two books on marriage, one married but single, and the second one get marriage right. This death of this gospel artist has raised questions surrounding the theology of marriage. Tell us, what does the Bible say about divorce? The Bible is very, very clear about divorce. In the book of Deuteronomy it was addressed, where the Bible made it clear that if for whatever reason you are unpleased with the person that you have married, you are free to let the person go. It's so clear. Jesus himself also alluded to this. He did say, in Matthew chapter 19, he did say that divorce was allowed through Moses, so that people won't end up killing themselves. And Jesus even went further to even give a condition to say, look, if the divorce is based on sexual immorality, this is the condition of remarriage. Jesus spoke about remarriage. So if we will speak about remarriage, then Jesus obviously approves divorce. Now don't get me wrong. Bible is clear that God hates divorce. Even before Jesus began to speak about divorce or separation, he spoke about reconciliation. He spoke about forgiveness in Matthew chapter 18. So Bible is clear. Divorce is permitted even though it is not the first option as far as God is concerned, but however it is permitted. Now this, a lot of people out there may just raise their eyebrows based to the thing I want to say right now. Divorce can happen in a marriage. When and how should it happen? Without anything. And it's not seen. When and how should it happen? It can happen if you're unpleased with the relationship. If you are unpleased with the relationship, you can. You can. This is only chapter 21 verse 14 specifically. It says it shall be, if you are not pleased with her, then you shall let her go whenever she wishes. If you are not pleased with her. Why is it that there is so much fear among some Christians that getting divorced will put them in God's bad book, that it could send them to hell? Which is a major reason why someone like Osinachi refused to leave her marriage because she says it is a sin against her faith. And many women, I can tell you that for sure, think so as well. Why did they think so? For a long time, I thought so as well because that's what was preached behind the pulpit for a long time. But as I began to teach and study and teach on marriage, I found out that it wasn't exactly like that. Yes, God does not, God hates divorce. That's the way Babu puts it. God hates divorce. But however, because of the stubbornness of the heart of man, divorce was allowed. And we need to teach what the Bible says, not what we think. We need to go into the Bible. Jesus addressed the issue of remarriage. He wouldn't talk about remarriage if there is no allowance for divorce. It's clear. So there are conditions. And listen, listen, you don't have to have a reason. You don't have to have a reason. You don't have to have a reason that is acceptable to anyone. You don't have to. You don't have to. That's the truth of the matter. You don't have to have a reason before you say you're done. And what God is trying to do there is to say, look, you've got to respect your covenant. But for whatever reason, if you say you are out of this, you cannot just go and remarry. Know that when you are out of this, you're going to stay alone, except for these conditions. Number one, if you are coming out because of sexual immorality, number two, because the person died. Number three, if the person puts you out, if the person leaves, those three conditions will allow you to remarry. But you don't actually have divorce is not a sin under God because God allowed it through Moses. Jesus seconded it. And this is the true gospel. However, we are in the ministry of reconciliation. That is why we want to work through couples and work through their differences and see if we can help them. Please don't blame the church. The work of the church is reconciliation. It is for the courthouses to separate and divorce. But for the church is reconciliation. So we, our job is to try and see if there are differences in your relationship. How can we help you work through this using the word of God? Okay. Well, the rate of failed marriages is on the increase globally. Why are so many people getting it wrong in marriage today? Different reasons, different reasons why people are getting marriage wrong. It could be because immature people are getting involved in marriage. Marriage is for a man and a woman. It is not for a boy and the woman. It is not for a girl and a man. It is not for a boy and a boy. And when we talk about a boy or a girl or a man or a woman, we are not talking about age. We are talking about you having understanding of what you're getting into. Do you have an understanding that when you want to leave and cleave with your spouse, you are basically going to be sharing your lives together. You are going to be sharing your vision together. You're going to be helping each other. The two of you are going to become one. Are you ready to leave me and become us? Are you ready for that? So the level of maturity, sometimes people think, oh, I've got to marry because people expect me to marry. Something people get into marriage because they say, oh, my biological clock is ticking. Some people get married because of convenience. Some people get married because they need companion. That's a good reason to get married, but it's not all of the reason for you to get married. People get married for wrong reasons. Yeah, you have said that the church should not be blamed. Incidentally, a large chunk of the number of marriages belong to Christians. How does one reconcile the fact that these are people who belong to a fate that says marriage should hold marriage in high esteem? Is it that they are not well prepared by their pastors and leaders in church, or what? It's very difficult for you to be prepared to be fully prepared for marriage because marriage is also a step of faith. Two different people coming together to come and live their lives together. Even though you've known each other, you've dated, you've been going out for years. Living together is different. Putting your finances together, putting your life together is a whole different ballgame. It is after you left the hall that you now basically move under the same roof, that you now begin to know yourself for who you are. That is when the fruit of the spirit needs to now kick in patience, understanding, long suffering, and all these things. And sometimes when you have people who have too much high expectation, they think that marriage is something about a storybook, the red, and they expect this or that, not knowing that they have to work to achieve. They have to understand each other. They all themselves are the responsibility of having to know one another and having to find a way to please one another. Of course, not to beat the other person into submission or into agreement. Thank you so much Pastor Fermi Fasheru. Pastor Fermi Fasheru is a resident pastor of KICC. Time will not permit us to ask more questions about this because this is something that's really in the heart of so many people right now. You've written two books, Married but Single, and Get Married Right. And you said these books are on Amazon right now. Yes, they are on Amazon Married, but Living Single basically speaks about two people that are married but living under the same roof, but they don't share their lives together. They are not more than roommates and basically that is bad for marriage. Get marriage right is actually a book to actually tell you what the mind of God is about marriage. He also speaks about divorce. He speaks about separation and he also speaks about remarriage. Thank you so much for your time Pastor Fermi Fasheru. Please do subscribe to our YouTube channel and don't forget to hit the notification button so you get notified about fresh news updates.