 Hey there friends, how's it going? My name is Kevin and today we are playing a bit life and we're not just playing any bit life. Today I will be the Lord himself. Literally, the Lord. Ah, that's the penance from the blast for me. It's okay, I'm Catholic. I'm allowed to do this, I would assume. His name is the Lord and he's from Cork, Ireland. It's starting to look worse and worse right now. So he tells me he might be trying to fool people. Look, red hair is just common in Ireland, okay? Select your attributes. Alright, all the main ones, 100%. Karma, put that down to zero. Wait, what does that actually change? Because I don't want karma for doing the bad things I'm going to do. Karma helps a player live longer and get through tough situations easier. Things that decrease karma, arguing, assaulting, crime, insulting, not saving a life in danger, passing on STDs, cheating on a lover, going to prison, skipping a funeral, trying drugs, trying to get away with bad things done in a life, anything that is bad. How have my characters lived past the age of six? Alright, thus life. I was born a male in Cork, Ireland. I was an accidental pregnancy. The father's just like, oh my God, immaculate conception, that is amazing, wow. And then it's like some devil child. Achieve perfect stats, perfection. I don't think I really achieved that. My mom and dad divorced and my happiness immediately plummeted to 50, but he still got this little smirk. It took seven years, but the dad finally went, wait a minute, immaculate conception. Are you sure you didn't cheat on me? Jesus, it didn't take long for mom to move on. He's got lots of money though, so I'm okay with that. And I'll call stepfather daddy Hamilton. Oh no, that's awful. Yeah, go with that. I got the comic called now. Oh wait, my father's getting married now as well. Okay, he's happy. My mom's happy. I'm sick. Please take care of the lord. What did I call stepmother woman? I'm just happy to be doing a pit life in Ireland because you're not going to understand any of the names like this one. Say O.R.s. Say O.R.s, Williams. That's Seersha by the way. Don't say I never taught you anything. You can say I never taught you anything useful. That is factual. But you can't say I didn't teach you anything. Evil stepmother. Damn you woman. Stepmother embarrassed you by intentionally leaving her giant dildo on the living room floor when your friend's over. What's wrong with her? Tell my father he will divorce you. His concern is huge. Thank you. Alright, time to get a job. Give me priest job. Where is it? Marriage counselor. That could be good. I mean, it's got a picture of a church. I have no education. Well, maybe you'll look past that since my name is literally the lord. No? Well, your loss. You're an idiot. Now I'm going to mope around for a year without working. Oh no. Oh no. Let's just ignore that. Exorcist. Yes. What are you looking for in a new position? An opportunity to make the world better. Yes. The Lord is now an exorcist. Oh no. Stop it. Can we use an exorcist on whatever this is? Alright. The Lord needs money and the Lord works in mysterious ways. Let's look at the stepfather with a load of money and edit him. Let's just put that generosity way up. His money is 98% and I can change it. Let's just whoop. Perfect. Religiousness. Would he give me money if I made this 100%? No, probably the opposite is needed. At least his health and happiness is at zero. That's fantastic. He's crazy in this up to 100%. Maybe he'll do something wacky and die. Alright. Now surely he won't last too long, right? Let's hope he can't see without his glasses. Just take off his glasses. There we go. Did Oliver Lord, great name, divorce the other lady? It must have been. He must have. She's just gone. I guess the giant dildo on the living room floor was the last straw. Your friends are all joining YouTube. Here's your moment. And I got a raise. They're clearly threatened by the YouTube account like the Lord has made a YouTube account. Oh my God, I asked my stepfather for money and he gave me 20 grand. Okay, that generosity is really helpful actually. While at the dog park, you see a man getting mauled by a vicious dog. What will you do? The Lord says, look the other way. Judge not, lest ye be judged. I don't think that applies here whether I'm going to roll with it. While performing exorcism, you get a phone notification that your favorite shoe store is having a blowout sale. What will you do? Take a break and order some shoes. The ghosts can wait. They're not going anywhere. That's the second problem. What about my real dad? Can you give me money? You're just useless, aren't ya? And mom gave me 200. That's fucking useless. You know what? I am going to edit you, mom. There goes your happiness. Learn to be more giving. And now off to college. Total cost 58,000. Oh my God. Yes, I'm enrolled. Oh no, I'm sick already. You've also been finding yourself confused about things that should not be confusing you. I mean, that happens to me all the time. I'm confused by generally everything. My half-brother Callum married Grog Naktir the destroyer after my dear old police officer. I graduated. Yes. Seek higher education again. Wait, can I not? Is vet school higher education? Business school maybe? Oh my God. The price of it. All right, apply for a student loan. This seems like a bad idea. I'm going to lose so much money. Yes! Oh, the Lord answered my prayers. My dad's dead. Your father passed away at the age of 76. And I got $176,000. Euros even, even better. I want to work at assistant vice president. I don't even know where the job is. I just like the title. I lack the necessary requirements. What? But I went to business school. Why are you rejecting me? Stockbroker offers you some cocaine. I'll invest in that. You're an addict to cocaine. Fantastic. It's like, all right, fine. I'll accept something lower. $70,000 a year, that sounds fine. I was rejected due to a failed drug test. Why are you all testing for drugs? Okay, Bishop. Perfect. They won't accept me. I'm literally called the Lord and you won't even interview me. I know it seems a bit on the nose, but you should at least try me out. What about an escort? There's superior candidates for the job. Why go to higher education and cheat so that I look magnificent if I can't even get a job? I'd like to think this is just a CV. The Lord. Male, 36, single, unemployed, addicted to cocaine, location Cork Ireland. Look, we're going to the Big Apple. That's what I'm calling the United States in general now, by the way. Why can I not go to Canada then? Let's try Canada. We live in Canada now and I'm depressed. Take that, Canadians. A job recruiter thinks a junior app developer is a good fit for me. I literally don't even understand technology. I've not done anything like that. I'm dead. Oh my God. That was like one of the worst lives ever. I died from a cocaine overdose. Now we're the devil. I'm pretty sure we were to begin with anyway. Rumble with this person. I didn't even look at it. Headbutter's stomach. I'm just attacking people left, right, and center. Scratch his forehead. Oh, it was turg too. I didn't realize. Okay, I graduated from high school. I have a fever. Just pray it away. Go into nursing. How about that? I got expelled from bad grades. You're smart. Nearly 100%. Why are you failing? He looks like a humble shepherd. Why is he the devil? The Lord looks literally like the devil. I got hired as a monk. I can't see this going wrong. A young child asks you if Santa Claus is real. Tell the truth. Crush them. All right. Who do you know? Oh, you got a big family, don't you? They all look like devils. All right. Start using your devil powers. Blum at the health of your parents. In fact, let's just do it for the whole family. He wants to be alone for a while. Sister trying to fight with me. Assault her. Her health is weak. You missed. Oh, God damn it. The devil will not stand for this. Editor attributes craziness, full happiness. No looks. No. Just plummeted everything on her. There you go, Isabella. Don't mess with me ever again. She wants to get up some mischief with me. Oh, you've seen what I'm capable of now. Oh, she has money and her name is rebel. It's perfect. If we marry, her name will be rebel devil. That's a lovely name. And she's in real estate. Perfect. The devil loves that. Oh, she already has loads of money, but we're just going to edit all of these. Actually, maybe keep her stupid. Otherwise, she'll leave me. All right. Hopefully she's pregnant now. Damn it. I got fired as a monk. Why? I have broken my vow of celibacy. I have forgotten about that. And now she's arguing because I was fired. You knew I was a monk. It takes two to tangle rebel. You can't just rebel and then complain when you get caught. Rebel argued with me because I was fired for my job. I assured her it wouldn't happen again. Well, it can't because it's gone. Like, they can't fire me twice. Yes. She's pregnant. Keep the baby. I'm going to name him Tasmanian. She's Tasmanian devil. The job is a bartender. Fine. I guess I am losing a lot of money. I immediately quit, took a student loan, and now I'm going to college. I got arrested for drawing boobs on street signs with my sister. A year in prison. I have a newborn at home. You can't leave me off. I tried to join a gang. My first year in prison, but there's no gangs because it's like minimum security prison. Rehabilitated. And my girlfriend broke up with me. Great. Charged her. Headbutt her neck. I missed. It's probably for the best. And she killed me. She killed the devil. I got the ribbon wasteful. What's that even for? I got this by living my full life. That is sad. Even if you live past zero, you can still get it if you surrender and don't do anything prominent in your life. I was trying. Continuous Tasmanian. Luckily, we have another chance as the Tasmanian devil. Wait, did I inherit my father's death? I'm depressed. Well, no fucking wonder. If I was five years old and someone came up. Kevin, you've just inherited 70 grand worth of death. Okay. You're probably going to live in debt the rest of your life, which most likely won't be very long. Anyway, enjoy your day at school. I don't think I'd be very happy. And I have the measles. Thanks, dad, for not vaccinating me. Appreciate that, by the way. I'm dead. Oh my God. I want a depressing life. All right. How about this? Glashknock. Smith is coming to life. And he's going to wreck havoc. Everything is full. He is all powerful. Good lord. He looks like someone who'd be trying to rob a train in the 1890s. All right. Immediately edit my sister. I don't want any competition here. Put her health and happiness way down. And now we'll pick a fight with her. Headbutt her skull. Goddamn, I missed. She bashed my skull. Oh, that's it. I'm coming back. Oh my God. He looks like a demon child. Bite her neck. How can you miss that? Okay. Roundhouse kick. This one's good. Nice. She smacked my throat. Okay. She's actually going to kill me if I keep going. I better stop making my parents rich, generous, and stupid. Their health is just super low. I'm just trying to get them killed. I want your money. God, someone's bullying me. Attack. Why do you keep doing this? Like it's a bad idea. If only I had any accuracy. Parents, could you please get me glasses? I couldn't hit the side of a barn. Which is probably a good thing because I keep trying to hit children. But I just can't manage it. I miss this every time. There should be at least seven dead children in this class. You've been expelled from Turg Middle School. I've been enrolled at Default Default Middle School. Finally, they're taking me to get an eye exam. It took long enough. Just don't do anything. I need glasses. I want something that makes a statement. Something Elton John like. Like I'm making them all stupid and crazy. Why are they not dying? I went to the school nurse with a headache and the nurse offers you morphine. Good Lord. I'm addicted to morphine. Fantastic. Look at him. He looks so stereotypically evil. All right. Glass knock. It's time for the purge. We need mom and dad to die. We need to start with the sister, though. Rumble with her. Stamp her face. That should do it. I knocked her out. And then she squashed my waist and killed me immediately. She was unconscious. You died after sustaining massive injuries and an assault. Oh, why is it so hard to play God? Okay. Since it seems to be working out for my family, I'm making the reject with a zero in absolutely everything. There we go. Look at that for a start. I'm suffering from E. Coli. I'm depressed. I'm four. Just to remind you, it's been a rough four years. I'm suffering from whooping cough. I am dead at the age of six. How come everyone else is fine when I plummet their stats, but when I plummet mine, I immediately die? All right. Try it again. The reject. Same thing. Whooping cough. Dead to age two. It's impossible to get past the age of two. Okay. I'm two. I'm flu. I'm three with the flu. I'm depressed. I'm six, though. And I've got the mumps. Your classmate called me, Kevin. Just peed in the corner of the classroom while your teacher, Mrs. Nix, wasn't looking. Laugh at him. He's so funny. Okay. Perfect. We're reaching the age of 14. This is a miracle. I graduated. Oh my God. Fantastic. I was rejected for university. Become a marine. I wonder why I was rejected. My depression is cured. I'm immediately happy at the age of 21 for no reason. I'm depressed again. Okay. Now to test it the other way. I'll edit my mom and just make her amazing at everything. Not crazy. Super generous. Super happy. Health is full. Looks is full. Perfect. That's done. Now we'll see how long she lasts. Oh my God. Why would you give me that alert? I don't get paid enough. My skin is scaling in several places. It doesn't bother me. Dry skin doesn't bother me. Honestly, the least of my concerns. I'm editing my boss so that she might actually like me. She called you a nasty little... Come on, dude. I've had a rough life. There's no need for that. How is the reject who is on the verge of death at all times, taking the most money and has lived the longest? The reject wants to go on a horse-drawn carriage ride, but is afraid the horse will poop. Let's try and diaper the horse. I'm amazed he didn't die. Are you sure you want to kiss your cousin on the lips? Go for it. I got smacked in the mouth when I tried kissing my cousin under the mistletoe. He seems resilient to everything. He reminds me of Mr. Burns where he has too many illnesses at once and they're all fighting each other, so none can really take hold. He started a rumor that I'm in the Japanese Yakuza. I started a rumor at him that he steals food, so he attacked me with a hatchet. And I still live. He just happened to miss. This guy is just unstoppable. Can't think of anyone to sue. He attacked me with a hatchet. I don't understand. He's 58. He's wealthy. He's 100% happy. But he's an idiot. He looks terrible and his health is just awful. All right, we got to really test this. We're going to attack Mr. Seaman for changing my desktop picture to a picture of Gwyneth Paltrow. Lunge at him. I missed. Oh, now I'm getting pulled into the office even though he tried to attack me with a hatchet. Oh, no. My girlfriend's breaking up with me because I have a uni, bro. Even though I clearly don't in the picture. The rejective loads of money. Do you want to, like, I don't know, buy a boat or something? Treat yourself? I don't know, dude. You just seem to be sailing through life, so it's kind of fitting. Performance jet boat. I passed my boating test by just guessing. He just gets so lucky through everything. Propose that a funeral all you go for it. Oh, she rejected it. Oh, she accepted this time. Okay. Finally, something bad happens to him. Well, no, I shouldn't say that. A lot of bad stuff is happening to him. It just seems to just not really affect him, even though he is miserable all the time. His health is awful. He's an idiot, and he looks horrible, but he just somehow gets through it. He's 73. Finally, you've died. 74 years of pain, and you die sleeping peacefully. How did he live the longest out of all of them and have the most success in life? It says he's mediocre, but compared to the rest, he is a god. Well, yeah, we are going to leave it there. I hope you enjoyed. I appreciate you watching. As always, hope to see you next time. Bye for now.