 yeah right right have I got have I got a treat for you guys so I I figure this should come with a with some sort of content warning not because I honestly don't know what this what this game is all about it's it's probably got some awful stuff in it so apologies apologies in advance there but anyway so I stumbled across this game while I was trying to come up with some ideas for some of my students to work to work through during lockdown and we've been doing some HTML stuff so I hit on the idea of a HTML website choose your own adventure style thing and I mean you know how that stuff goes I was looking for some examples on the internet and I stumbled across this this website female agent I don't know if you can see the text I can I can always zoom in if I just click on the about page to give you some idea about what this what this game's about oh at least I thought it would click on about no no there is you can't you can't find out what this game's about apparently and it was it was described as an adult themed chick exploitation game an adult chick exploitation adventure game I don't know what the what the word chick exploitation means but it sounds horrible so I'm gonna I'm gonna offer content warnings here if I suspect that there's a probably a high level of misogyny in this game I I honestly I don't know what to expect so this is like a content warning for all content you probably shouldn't you should probably just not watch this video or do and then complain but don't say that I didn't give you a fair fair warning here so okay so let's how does this how does this work female agent nope that just takes us to the same page oh here we go link to the free version that's what we want female agent 1.5 there is a version it says it says with the image pack oh here we go right a text-based chick exploitation adventure game for adults only now I did put age restriction on this stream so we should in theory only have people aged 18 and over we hope but you you never know you never know weird bug going on there where part of that's odd anyway so yeah I don't know if you can pay for it or not but let's let's have a look at this it's the text all right you want me to zoom in on that text or is that is the text size fine can you read the text just a just a yes or no but I'll read it out while you are formulating your answers here I started developing female agent because it's the game I always wanted to play turns out game development is pretty hard I'd have given up a long time ago without the encouragement of my generous supporters on patreon if you want more female agent and can afford one dollar a month please consider consider supporting us on patreon so says crush station that was that was October 2019 so that was before this that was before all this corona virus stuff hit so let's let's hope they're doing all right let's hope they're doing all right so as a supporter though you unlock bigger boobs supporters can select e cup as their agents bra size don't know whether that has an effect in game or or what you get a back button as well apparently that implies that I'm probably gonna make mistakes which I can't which I can't fix so we'll see about that all the kinks supporters can start the game with more than one kink so gaming can finally have a promiscuous bisexual exhibitionist secret agent protagonist who loves rough sex and older men there's a lot to unpack there isn't there a lot lot to unpack there yeah so so this is text I've got I've just had a message saying the text is teeny so if I zoom in well no something something bad's happened there let me sort let me sort this out I messed up I've done goofed there we go that is that bit better that look better we'll see it we'll we'll just have to see how it goes we'll just have to see how it goes you know what I'm gonna try as well I'm gonna try popping out the chat I I don't I don't know if there's any sound in this games it's all web-based so if there's no sound I can I can stick on some some music some Kevin McLeod music from incompetech.com we'll see how we'll see how that goes I'm just just checking messages here I can now see bigger boobs right cool so let's have what else we got here discord community as if the game wasn't toxic enough already supporters can join our our great community on discord they get to hang out with me and tell me their ideas for female agent vote on development priorities five dollars supporters and hire so this there's tiered support here guys and and I get to choose what features get worked on next more female agent the most important benefits support on patreon allows me and the team to keep working on the game why is there lobster claws on is that one of those old Microsoft ergonomic keyboards is this game made by lobsters or maybe they're just Jordan Peterson fans I I I I honestly honestly don't know what's what's going on here so I'm just gonna I'm just sending this link to a couple of people who might be interested if you're interested live streaming a terrible auto corrected to love streaming there we certainly are not gonna be love streaming this anyway right let's so should we should we start let's let's play play female agent oh okay right New Zealand security intelligence service I guess that's me Kendall Cartwright okay my code name has been redacted oh wait a minute we can we can customize this agent should we let's customize this agent yeah oh did you see that did you see that we we got a brief we got a brief flash of we got it we got a brief flash of underwear there that was that was a thing wasn't it so what's what's the difference we've got us UK USA Canada I think all it does is change your clothes by the looks of things I don't think this is UK MI6 standard issue but we'll we'll go with that no gingers says Paul Smith we will let's so hometown oh we can select from London or that's it but it's still a drop-down box maybe maybe we can only wait why why can we only be core case that's not even like I mean here it's obviously like they thought do you know what we we could have a section where you can choose where you from and then they they'll I will we'll get round to adding some stuff in there but but when they when I wonder if someone said if someone said oh should we have a selection box for for race and everyone was like no whites only so yeah okay right so we'll be from London age so actually affect anything doesn't make a great deal of difference let's let's go with 30 that's a 30 is a reasonable age for an MI6 agent right I mean if you 24 MI6 now that's too young right complexion we've got fair olive or pale well we're from the UK allegedly so we'll go with pale body type lean hourglass or curvy look at those whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa did we see did we see that when I changed nationality you get to see her underwear right see that you see you see her underwear before her clothes go on there but when I changed her body type oh come on man it's not okay maybe that we just we just lucked out we looked out that first time we got to see see under there so we've got lean okay we've got hourglass did that what did that change just changed how wide her shoulders are by the looks things we've got curvy okay let's go with curvy he's the only one that looks vaguely real although legs seem to taper too much here bra size we can select bra size I can't oh so it goes yep we can we can have 38 a so we can only change the cup size it seems we can't only go it goes 38 D are the biggest tits that we can have although if you change the body type look it changes it changes your your bust measurement so that's a that's a whole thing okay right well 36 see I mean that's that's that's nice right is that nice I don't know it's been a it's been a while right Paul Smith says no gingers so what's dark ginger and light ginger let's have a look at light ginger you know what's really crap it's every time I change an option it takes me to the top of the page again mid pixie Charlize pixie and and pixie looks like if we're though what's dirt dirty blonde so those the only hairstyles we get strawberry blonde is that not also ginger look and look at all look at these colors right black fair enough dark brown light brown dark or burn light or burn dark ginger light ginger these are the same colors surely hair length we've got short bob long or medium here is this the best character creation thing you've ever seen oh that looks that's quite nice okay half ponytail what does that mean half ponytail low bun what would work best for an MI6 agent should we have short hair let's go let's go with some short hair well yeah we'll go with that spiky pixie that that that looks fair enough right brow shape we've got six different eyebrow shapes you can barely see them under all that hair okay yeah where is the messy bun option presumably people with messy buns don't make it into the into the armed forces although to be honest I did notice that if we had if I changed my length to long we've got all those different things I didn't go through all of the different what happens if we've got medium we've got space buns space buns apparently is a is a thing medium curls she looks pretty basic there medium sleek rate Rachel cut what does that mean I hope there's a Karen cut in here as well that'll be under Bob right there's a Karen in here and what there's no Karen we've got curly Bob wavy Bob modern flapper that my friends is a modern flapper Rachel cut is a friends reference it's friends is making a resurgence isn't it there's people are people are into friends again let leo'd Bob right you know what let's just stick it back to where it was spiky pixie is that what we had let's just have a look at the the color very little difference between these colors that that's all right she looks kind of hot I don't care what her out high brows look like what about eye shape does that make a that make a difference I thought she was just gonna have closed eyes then this feels kind of like the Sims but but a worse version of the Sims eye color what's the difference in green and jade okay so that's that's green she's dead I killed her oh no there is that's green let's have a look at Jade dead still dead no there she is I I couldn't see the difference I'm not gonna change her eyes again because it took ages to change let's have a look at her mouth shape worse fairly fairly aggressive isn't it that's like a weird anime drawing so probably probably not that one not the none of these really look overly realistic do they that one's all right I guess nose shape wow I mean that you're able to customize all the things here then they makes very little difference right I do you know what though Kendall Cartwright doesn't really strike me as a as a typical British name so can we can we change yes right okay Katie no Catherine yes and Cartwright no what about something like Catherine cast lake that's a that's a that's an English name Catherine cast lake there we go okay good so wait has that that hasn't changed it has it does that is that change they do you know what I don't care I'm kind of I'm kind of ready now to just let's we let's start oops what I've done here let's start with this age was this settings choose a theme default or I don't what did that do I don't I don't know if that did anything but whatever let's just let's just go here we go right ah first of all capability assessment psychological profile openness to experience the hell does that mean is that like getting experience points and stuff oh okay let's let's make her curious I'll give it I'll give it the benefit of the doubt right just say she's say she's curious um conscientiousness she's impulsive and unreliable no I mean she's an MI6 agent right she needs to be disciplined she needs to be she needs to be reliable organized I've just good okay right I'm not gonna read out that that text on live on air but okay right extra version is she gregarious energetic socially confident balanced or reserved thoughtful and introspective well she's a secret agent she needs to she needs to be able to no you know what she needs to be balanced I think agreeableness assertive sarcastic likes conflict unun uncooperative why is there an umlau over the second oh okay let's so that could be balanced or sympathetic forgiving few enemies and avoids conflict why would she be a spy if that was the case yeah I like the idea of an assertive sarcastic woman that that likes conflict maybe that's why all of my relationships ended so poorly neuroticism rarely feels negative emotions confident high self-esteem and adventurous balanced or frequently feels negative emotions self-conscious with low self-esteem now let's let's I wanted to be confident right being bisexual is a kink now apparently you've experimented with other girls oh become a supporter to unlock multiple kinks oh this is that bit that it was on about earlier let's take them all and see what it says about all of them right so you've experimented with other girls showing off in public turns you on I don't really think these are you know things that an MI6 agent would be would be into and you're especially attracted to older men you love bondage and rough sex you've had more part as partners than most 30 year old girls 30 year old women surely what are we gonna go for guys I mean I I think I like the sound of an exhibitionist personally that sound all right no what do you think any any suggestions dump them in the chat right there no you know what I'm just gonna I'm just gonna go with just gonna go with what what we've got here okay so we're good we're good she'll be an exhibitionist whatever intelligence I think she should be highly intelligent here superior well that'll do build tall tall height over five foot six that's not that tall is it what's plus three Amazonian height over six foot because women are never over six foot tall are they you know what I'm gonna go I'm gonna go with plus two what's that very tall height over five nine wait wait wait a minute average height is five three to five five I also can we just can we just five foot three one meter sixty to five foot five okay yeah that's fine that's fine that's fine someone presumably though I mean she likes to be an exhibitionist when she's not okay I mean what if you were if you were a female secret agent then what what kink would you have maybe maybe likes older men huh Eric there's a blast from the past how's it going right so with this build let's say yeah actually the bondage makes sense doesn't it but that's not an option on here so can't can't really have that what about rough sex is that the same thing it's not really the same thing is it attractiveness let's make her ugly as shit oh minimum plus one needed to be chosen for this mission so even if you are it you can't select average beauty otherwise you're not allowed yeah promiscuous that shitty double oh seven vibe yeah good call actually let's do that we're going to see if I can reduce the oh that's better fits on one page now is the text still visible for you is that still alright so so I can't I cannot select average attractiveness because I need to be I need to be above average attractive the hot girl next door God what's plus two the most attractive girl in most social groups most of my social groups don't have girls in right models and actually you know what let's let's be the hot girl next door I mean you know she's alright but she ain't you know what else we got here coordination average reflexes and agility no no no no she needs to be way better than that she's an agent man cat like reflexes and agility off the charts oh yeah we are gonna we are gonna slay we are gonna slay here we go so I guess that's that that's family history oh here we go we're getting into it now folks 30 years ago in this year 1988 in st. Thomas's Hospital and is that a place st. Thomas's Hospital does that exist someone someone do a quick Google fact check on that Wednesday June the 8th 1988 05 53 hours local I like the fact that they couldn't even have a variable that like detected where you were and change that word local to either GMT or EST or whatever that's that's some sloppy programming right there oh wow look at my look at my hot avatar down here birthday 8th oh we can actually change our birthday you're born at 5.53 a.m. a healthy baby girl your parents name you Catherine everyone agrees that you're a pretty baby your parents are together we're working class what's a pink color worker blue color workers was a pink color worker working working poor low run clerical and service work I like the fact that they've divided working class into two strata here what's elite the 1% upper middle class highly educated managers and professionals I thought so let's go working class relationship with dad supportive loving or distance that that that to me has strange undertones to be honest let's say we've got a younger brother and why don't we have also have an elder sister there we go so I love in relationship from dad don't always get on with mum but it's all right I think that's all right right here we go early childhood London England 1993 age 5 you grow up in Tottenham a white working class neighborhood in North London that's north isn't it East London Tottenham's East London right that's home to one of the country's top football teams with Tottenham Hotspur is that I hope that's Tottenham Hotspur they one of the top football teams wards of fans swarming every match day your childhood home is a council flat on St Anne's Road chill out Eric I'm not that old mate some kids are raised with more than one language in their household optionally pick an extra language why can't we have Polish suppose we've got Russian you know what let's go with Russian let's go with Russian I mean I don't know why she'd have Russian in the household considering she's called Catherine Cars Lake and not like Susan Ivan of her or whatever but we're gonna continue oh shit oh man they went there didn't they oh shit I missed that what did that say about XP I gained some XP what what did I gain XP for for doing the world what wait does that character sheet that didn't didn't why is there a sexual history tab sexual partners I yeah I should think there's been zero considering I'm age 13 for fuck's sake right you're 13 years old when 19 terrorists fly hijacked aircraft into the World Trade Center in the Pentagon you remember getting home from school and being mesmerized by the TV footage of burning skyscrapers and terrorists from far off deserts for a short time the free world is united against the threat Prime Minister Blair promises to stand shoulder to shoulder with America and less than a month later British warplanes missiles and special forces are fighting in Afghanistan and and that was that apparently you enroll in your local secondary school even though you don't okay whatever established reputation as an academically gifted and hardworking girl spent most of your time with a few close friends right what do we excel at in secondary source sports academics why can't I select making friends why fuck you game I haven't it's why why can't I make friends like why would you deny that to me and like I use games for scapism fucking mocking me fuck it let's say arts and drama oh okay I got a shitload of experience how did I get plus 500 XP for socializing when I wasn't actually allowed that okay well at secondary school you're known as an arty girl upheaval dad vanishes or no upheaval yeah whatever let's have dad that that disappears well overseas your dad just disappears the foreign office mountain investigation but can't find his body or evidence of foul play some suspect he was the victim of a kidnapping or robbery gone wrong others that he vanished to start a new life you and your dad were very close and losing him was a huge blow as the years past the pain fades but so does the hope you'll ever see him again financial situation I was gonna get worse if if we're a working-class family dad disappears that we're fucked aren't we financially things get worse for your family during your teen years you move to Peckham do you know should we should we have some music should we put some music on in the background yeah here I go this this is I'm going to Incompetech.com getting some royalty-free music here let's search for unnerving about unnerving music that sound I don't I don't know what any of this music is gonna sound like so let's try a lot of this is just horror music do you know what let's let's try something slightly different let's go for yeah suspents fall let's there's one called crypto let's let's try that that volume level all right yeah a little bit of background music here okay cool okay so financially things get worse for your family during your teen years moved to Peckham mostly black Southland and neighborhood your new home is a council flat on a rough housing estate terrorized by aggressive hoodie-wearing teens god damn it when the police come here they come in force isn't EastEnders set in Peckham it didn't seem that bad right let's on to the next bit you continue to do well at school one of your teachers says that you could go to university if you keep working hard in ah yeah only fools and horses that was that was Peckham in your spare time you start experimenting experimenting with makeup like it's a like it's a fucking illegal drug or something you start experimenting with makeup and crushes on boys and celebrity I'm gonna I'm gonna experiment with crushes on boys like all teenagers you struggle over the foot the next few years to understand who you are and where you feel by the way V I should say great to see you even if it's a sort of not actually seeing you but just seeing your name it's nice to know that you're that you're still out there it's it's been a long time so yes yes she's doing ICP makeup that's that is exactly what's going on there excellent right okay so like all teenagers struggle over the next few years to understand who you are and where you fit in well we all remember being teenage girls right we know what that's like some people find they fit best into a clique or subculture what describes you best oh I'm not allowed I'm not allowed to be an alpha female because either my attractiveness social class or extra version is too low ah man I'm definitely the geek girl okay right let's go geek girl then yes you can tell I'm a geek because I've got glasses on look at that thigh gap though oh my god yes your sharp mind needs more stimulation than you can give from TV and schoolwork and whatever fashion trends and social media dramas the popular girls are obsessing over you gravitate towards the other clever people in your school year you know you're hanging out with the nerds but you honestly prefer talking about things like gravity and vampires than about how Jason didn't answer text or why Laura is being such a huge bitch this week what is your favorite oh my god don't make me choose between computer club and D&D club Jesus I'm not allowed I'm not allowed to choose debate club yeah I know right gravity and vampires can you believe that god damn it oh shit the music's finished let's find another find another tune what about lost frontier I don't know if there's a way I can set up a playlist on Incompertech.com I'm sure there probably is but I'm not gonna I'll just I'll just keep on I'll just keep on keep on going keep on trucking oh god what are we gonna do now the thing is right I'm pretty sure whichever one I choose is gonna have a knock-on effect with like you know the rest of the story or something so I don't know man I fuck it let's go computer club that's probably oh I'm the only girl in computer club I'll have you know my computer club at my school we have a number of girls actually because of my STEM outreach programs so fuck you game yeah that's what I thought you quickly discover that code isn't something that only boys can learn you enjoy writing HTML pages and formatting them with CSS what in 2004 come on mate nobody was formatting with CSS in 2004 at least not hoping to get a decent looking website out of it using your mind to find the best and most elegant ways to solve problems I have to admit I do find myself remarkably attractive I I am a bit of a looker right yeah okay so all the boys in the club are hardcore gamers and over time you become pretty deadly in card come on I would not play card I would not play card and power leveled in wow you normally play Call of Duty with your mic off to avoid triggering a mixed deluge of misogynistic abuse and creepy pms but some I don't know why I've gone into that voice but sometimes you enjoy letting some douchebag know that he just got his ass kicked by a girl yeah yourself looks remarkably like my girlfriend well what can I say the congrats on that if only I had one of my own but I don't so I'll just have to imagine doing my own rendition in a video game of myself as a 16 no no stop stop right here we go age 16 you're old enough to get a part-time job what family too poor what am I gonna do deliver pizzas no I ain't delivering pizzas fuck that noise I'll work as a waitress whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa technically technically that was underaged pornography right there because she's 16 did not need to see those tits did not need to see them so I'm at six-form college in the daytime so you need a job you can work on in the evenings and at weekends you interview a local hotel and get offered a job as an evening waitress you learn how to set a formal dinner service how to sell expensive wines and how tiring it is to work a night shift in heels I refuse to believe that I would wear heels I would wear flats I would wear flats in that job the money isn't great but the rest of the team are nice the work is exciting during busy services and the tips can be great especially when slightly drunk middle-aged men try and make an impression on you this is getting a little bit creepy now isn't it okay moving on oh I've had crushes on boys before that crushes on boys before but they're nothing compared to the rush of feelings you have for a run the first person you fall in love with being a girl means dealing with creeps get you yeah okay fair fair okay his name is a a run he is my tough next-door neighbor who looked out for me on my estate or is he my friend from computer club who made his first move in Azeroth yes and while I was out partying he studied the blade a trainee chef in the hotel restaurant or just a boy from sixth form I don't know I don't know if I'd fancy any of those guys probably the wow kid to be fair so let's let's go with that okay I'm I'm digging those wait wait a minute I did not see what was on the screen there I did not see what was on the screen what the fuck is going on here what has just happened it's this is this this is not a thing that 18 year old girls do right is this a thing that 18 year old girls do any girls in the stream right now can you can you comment on that because this cannot this can't be a thing it cannot be a thing right God in your teenage years you go like remember I'd like to reiterate the fact that I did state right at the very start I had no idea what was actually going to be in this game and I apologized profusely but I'm just gonna I'm just gonna restate here if things get too bad I'm just gonna stop the stream so okay right anyway in your teenage years you go through a British girls normal rights of passage you graduate from sixth form college pass your driving test and lose your virginity presumably that's that's I mean that's I guess I guess that's what what people what what people do right so I'm just I'm just checking my text messages here as a young woman you have to make you have to make some decisions about your body and your look this is not negotiable one of the first is how to style your bikini line is that really a top priority I don't know martini glasses that even a thing I'm gonna go with postage stamp because it looks the most ridiculous there it's it's it's gone now it's gone I'm sorry I'm sorry about that I should I mean I don't drink but I should really have some something here to like take the edge off shouldn't I right good you experiment with soils and settle on a little tough down there I assume it's kind of like a sole patch you know but but down there anyway eyebrow pick white oh okay you're only allowed to get eyebrow piercings if you're a rock chick apparently good because only rock chicks have have eyebrow piercings only rock chicks have nose piercings apparently only exhibitionists or people who like rough sex have nipple piercings as well but you know what fuck it I'm getting my belly button done and it's gonna be a sapphire jewel because you know what that is gonna look absolutely fucking fabulous and I don't care I don't care what you think you're not my real dad it's fuck you you know where where where were you when my real dad just disappeared up to fucking left you weren't around were you you can't stop me you can't stop me getting my belly button pierced a fucking 18 right so so I figure that's that's what I'll that's what I'll get I'll get the I get the okay good feel free to I mean I release all my videos under creative commons so feel free to remix this shit as much as you like as long as as long as you give me adequate good I'm glad I'm glad we are I'm glad we're where we are okay right so let's let's continue I can't we're not even actually in the game this is all still the backstory man I've also just noticed her t-shirt something party at Alderaan what what is that word what's that word underneath her plat there something party at Alderaan I mean don't go to that party because it's gonna get fucked yeah final would probably drugs drugs party drugs party at Alderaan right right okay so what about tattoos upper back and next starry swirl now Chinese zodiac handsy on my left shoulder blade do I get to see it I mean I kind of want a dragon tattoo oh fucking what look at that look if you're a rock chick you can get the tribal tramp stamp tattoo Jesus Christ I am I am 100% all-in for the hot zone pussy tattoo my avatar just blinked of me as I said that as if to say what the fuck are you doing Carl I'm all in on on tattoos you know fuck it I'm getting I'm getting all of this shit done I'm getting all of this shit done ink ink me the fuck up you know I mean tattoos are hot man that's let's be honest not that I'm trying to I keep I keep forgetting this isn't this isn't a game about being hot right this is a game about being an MI5 agent and kicking ass solving crimes right you get inked and pierced at your local tattoo parlor you experiment with alcohol and many in your social group experiment with drugs so I can either stay clear of drugs I can try weed or I can try weed coke and pills I've I mean come on man try anything twice as a as as a wise woman once told me here we go let's try weed coke and pills why can't I try acid though man I want to try acid come on weed coke and pills right after being warned for years that drugs will ruin your life if you even try them once it's something of a revelation to learn that you can use you can use party drugs and still function just fine kids watching this which you shouldn't be because I put an age restriction on it that is not true okay you can't you can't use party drugs okay they will fuck you up don't do them show in my age there whatever Jack just because you're still 12 weed makes you feel blissed out and relaxed pills make you love everyone and want to dance yeah and they also make you annoying as fuck as well you know hate just fucking don't just don't do it man and coke makes you feel confident talkative and horny you learn to manage the come-down score from dealers and sneaking wait no no look I just wanted to try drugs it didn't say get yourselves addicted to drugs did it Jesus in a few years you'll have to answer lots of questions about your drug use in a very uncomfortable mi6 vetting interview but for now you can enjoy feeling like a sexy invincible rock star when you let your hair down okay yeah fair fair point fair point a lot of people just wanted to try drugs okay this yeah good besides a a run you have wow okay for is the minimum number of sexual partners fuck it I mean Catherine's an experimental girl right and some sometimes when you're when you're pilled up you you make choices that maybe you wouldn't ordinarily look just don't don't fucking judge me don't slut shame me you know you just jealous however however just moving on here teen relationships generate partner or generate all partners once again I apologize in advance I don't know what what's gonna happen here but let's there's Tom Atkinson he was 19 oh fuck off why does it why does it automatically default to anal sorry I just sucked his dick for fuck's sake right it's the next one and gray guy I met online I'm not having a serious relationship with a guy I'm online it was a one-night stand all right who's the next one Keith Lloyd he was a boy from school again you know what what can I say you know we have some fun sometimes Jim McRoe though that was that was more serious right but things got a little bit boring yes that's right you can't you can't suck the dick for one night stand this is I'm learning shit here man I'm learning stuff that that tinder never taught me Danny Watts guy I met at a party again oh Ollie Ollie no surname a dorky shy school friend who grew up to be drop-dead gorgeous yeah that was a one-night stand and wait I why am I able to select oral only and anal what okay I'm doing it doing it if I if I can do it I will Colin and what's the what's what's the time frame here right I've got eight other sexual partners in my hometown at what point did I bang these people is that is that I'm assuming that's their age and not my is this all in the space of one year while I was 18 well I mean it goes without saying yes it was when I was on yeah yeah it's oh wait it it changed it changed the come on I want to I want to do anal at least once one two three four fighting I've only had one serious relationship Colin Colin he I didn't he was he was he was he was all right Colin was and then there was I only did Aaron because he reminded me of the other Aaron right okay good with that with that out the way yeah it says teen relationships I don't know I'm you know what I'm I'm really glad I didn't select the prefers older men kink right at the very start because then it probably would amend that all of these like men with like super old and it would have been too weird I got I got look I got bonus to deception what that why why am I able to get experience points in in BJ and also why did I get more BJ experience than I did kissing experience I would have assumed I would have assumed that if I was going down on a guy I probably would have started by kissing him in the first place right it's this it you right you you kiss guys before you suck their dick right you don't just you don't just like you know get on your knees and yeah BJ is Brazilian jiu-jitsu you're absolutely right you're absolutely right I guess I got the hundred XP from cheating on on what's it called on whoever is BJ's Boris Johnson yes Pete spent some time working yeah okay that's fair that's fair yeah okay God you know what Jesus Christ this is right with the music from now let's let's put some music on sort of like stop the cops breaking my door down hidden agenda and that's not the pitch shifter song unfortunately this is hidden agenda by Kevin McLeod at in Competech.com here we go slightly different to the to the pitch shifter version right your friends think you're crazy when you tell them you're planning to go to university your mum tells you that she can't afford it look we've been through this mum you know it's like I can get alone yeah and also I mean I've been working my ass off to support the pair of us while I've been while I've been at college and supporting a coke habit as well which you don't know about presumably and you know that that shit ain't cheap right your mum tells you that she can't afford it but your school guidance counselor gives you some helpful pamphlets about getting fees waived and steers you towards some scholarships you could seek out growing up this is obviously made by someone who doesn't understand the British education system growing up poor makes it harder to go to university but it's not impossible Oxford and Cambridge Oxbridge are the UK's too much prestigious universities yeah what about whole what about demontford University right yeah you fucking DMU represent right here they're considered to be among the best universities in the world but the application process is fiercely competitive I've got a 10% chance apply into Oxbridge why what happens if I click why right okay getting into a top university is a difficult task in a difficult number of 10 an average person would need to roll 10 or higher with a 10 sided die to succeed Catherine isn't an average person so she'll add a unique modifier to a dice roll based on attributes skills and story choices well come on I mean I've got a pretty high BJ skill yeah so so Catherine's following attributes impact this role her conscientiousness is most important her intelligence good they were added together an average given that we want to arrive plus one because Catherine doesn't have other persuade or writing skills she gets a minus four penalty gets plus one for being studio geek minus two for coming from working poor family no other modifiers okay right yeah fuck that nice yeah I don't want to go to fucking Oxbridge anyway can you get a beat probably probably you know what I've had a few BTEC BJs in my time anyway let's apply for a different university okay York Manchester Sheffield or Cardiff well I mean if I go to Sheffield then that means like party time at the Corp every fucking weekend right and who would who would want to pass up that opportunity you carefully craft applications and personal st. musty a good one would be like I don't know I don't think I've ever had a good blowjob so you fuck it we're going to we're going Sheffield we're going to Sheffield motherfuckers I don't want to study any of that shit why would I why would I study all right psychology is is that is legit picture doesn't look like it does it unless they meant this one Sheffield Hallam University the Demontford University of Sheffield I don't know probably is it is that Sheffield Wednesday football club is that the blue maybe all the music stopped again right let's find out let's find another tune God man this is this is hard work I need I need to employ people to this this tune is called black vortex here we go okay so starting university is daunting but you're level-headed and you adapt quickly the biggest change is how little oversight you're subjected to my thigh gap is incredibly distracting I still find myself ridiculously attractive okay so according to Google that image comes up with Sheffield University main entrance okay cool right so starting university is daunting blah blah blah you have to figure out how to do a range of things without any adult supervision well I'll tell you what I've been doing a range of things without any adult supervision if you know what I mean although I guess technically the guys that I was sucking off were adults so I don't know I mean I'm 18 years old do I need adult supervision if I want to get into artificial intelligence what's the fastest and best way to do it do a course on artificial intelligence I mean or search for online courses in artificial intelligence but get programming you understand in things like artificial neural networks and machine learning and stuff like that there's tons of books on it but anyway right so I think she's right let's get back to the game here we go you have to figure out how to blah blah blah right from using the library to feeding yourself to paying bills and it's totally up to you when and even whether you write assignments or attend lectures oh my god everyone starts university intending to study hard but the lack of structure and abundance of new social opportunities sometimes ruins those good intentions I you know what I'm good my conscientiousness level is is too high to say girls just want to have fun so I'm sorry Cindy you're gonna have to you're gonna have to take a backseat here I'm gonna balance girls just want to balance study and fun yo girls just want to balance study and fun so let's let's do that oh I gained I gained a research socialize and writing I don't I really look if I go to my character sheet it doesn't really say anything here it says that I have superior IQ I'm very tall I'm the hot girl next door and I have cat look cat like reflexes my strength is shit stamina is great confidence is great creativity is is great I I have no courage whatsoever but then skills I've got I I am gaining a fair amount of skills I've got flirting plus zero attracting sexual partners builds confidence okay general knowledge plus one computers plus one sexual skill why is my beats Jesus Christ yes sucking cock plus zero kissing kissing sexually okay so it's worth noting maybe that's the reason why I got more it more BJ experience that I did kissing experience is because I've got a I've got a kiss in a sexy way looks like the tunes have run out again I apologize for having to keep going back and set in these tunes things are really long one this one's called gaggle attacking partners also wrecks confidence to you'd have to ask Nikki about that what we got here anal having anal sex yes having having sex with men right okay good my sexual history it just lists the number of sexual partners I've had cool okay if you're just joining us I apologize wholeheartedly right let's should we get let's go back let's get rid of the sheet there right okay so there's more to university than just working all the time you make a study plan but decide not to stick to it slavishly you settle into a rhythm of studying it's worth noting by the way guys that I set my characters age at 30 and we are still only 18 so there's a whole lot of game here by the looks of things it's it's not all work work work that's right here we go oh shit this is a kink vignette in future versions this scene will be picked randomly from a list of bisexual scenarios I'm not bisexual though wait a minute of my lips got redder and maybe that's because I experimented with with makeup right okay so Catherine goes first it's past midnight at a house party and after a few too many drinks you and another girl have been talked into a game of spin the spin the bottle come on people don't play spin the bottle at university do they do they really with a bunch of guy friends this is high school shit feeling some misgivings you reach out to the empty wine bottle in the middle of the circle of friends and give it a vigorous spin spin the heroin spoon yeah you missed the bit where I got hooked on coke Keenan the green bottle whirls around on the carpet coming to a sudden stop that causes a masculine shout of approval the throat of the bottle points right at saffron the other girl playing oh look I don't look happy about that do I oh shit a classmate of yours she's a skinny stoner chick with a pretty wide-set gray eyes and feline cheekbones I bet she's into fucking monster magna as well if it's 2006 her chin length dyed blonde hair is swept back with an Alice band the only rule agreed beforehand was guys don't kiss guys so this was always an implied possible outcome but saffron looks back at you and shrugs slightly are we actually gonna do this yep you shrug back and shuffle across to her place in the circle of friends kneeling beside her your legs touching you just look at each other's faces for a moment oh she's so pretty cat like gray eyes over high cheekbones the tip of her tongue sweeping nervously of a brick red lipstick as she gets ready to be kissed around you the guys are all suddenly uncharacteristically silent you lean in tilt your heads and kiss gently feeling her soft lips against yours a small tongue flicking inside your mouth you kiss back cupping a hand to her smooth cheek feeling a hand slip onto your waist she's a great kisser and you feel a rush of butterflies in your stomach as you melt into the kiss and the moment the two of you make out for a long time your tongues your tongues just can't do it I cannot do it it's gently exploring each other's mouths and when you finally break it off your pussy is saffron's lipstick is smeared and her nipples are rock hard and her skinny tea you're not the only ones who are turned on the guys around you can barely wait for their turns with you Ollie spins the bottlenecks and ends up practically shoving his tongue down saffron's throat on the next turn Wayne grinds his erection into you like a dog humping a leg your friends supposedly educated and intellectual young men are behaving like they're all under a spell of lust sure they're drunk but you can't believe how horny one kiss has made them all you could have your pick of any of them if you wanted um oh I don't get to go home with saffron that's that's that's a shame I could go home with the hottest guy though but what determines what determines these guys hotness oh she to be fair she looks like she's just fallen asleep now fuck these guys I'm going no wait a minute because if I sleep with someone I get more experience right so yeah I'm gonna go home with the hottest guy you and saffron end the game quickly afterwards the vibe was getting too intense for comfort and slip back into the regular party both of you have attracted a retinue of male admirers with your little display and you feel like a queen of the party you later see saffron leaving with a boy she's had a crush on forever you end up going home with Anthony Andrews a wealthy of stunningly handsome university cricket captain he's never paid you much attention before but he's wrapped around your little finger tonight now I don't I have not been in a situation like this but I don't think if I just saw two girls kissing I mean I've I've been in the room while two girls have been kissing before but not as part of the game a spin the ball I don't think if I saw two girls kissing I would be instantly erect and fucking you know wanting to unload all over them but I don't know the two of you slip away from the party and back to his place his hard muscles and sandpaper stubble and fierce kisses feel savagely different but you come quickly and noisily what he takes you it's just a one night thing with Anthony but you later find out that saffron's relationship with her guy really lasts you and she become close friends and after university she asked you to become a bridesmaid at her wedding the two of you end up making out a come on that doesn't happen why would you do that you wouldn't why would that's that's not what hen parties are right is that my hand okay anyway let's let's move on oh I got I got an extra 50 BJ experience music was perfectly timed there excellent good your your family can't afford to support you through university so you'll have to get a part-time job I mean well that was always on the cards right do you spend some time putting together a CV and attend some interviews some people get terrified a job interviews but you keep your cool and are offered several jobs right do we do do do do do do the XPF and knowing what order to do the oral and the anal do I want a job what what kind of administrator because if that if that's a part-time like server administrator yes I'm all in there but lifeguard I mean that allows me to live out my Baywatch fantasies right so you know what I'm gonna what kind of vibe are we gonna go for with the with the music here let's see we should we change the mood let's go for bouncy we got we got bouncy as an option here covert affair yeah oh yeah this is this is I'm all about this here we go right so we're going for the job as a lifeguard here we go hey wait a minute oh yeah I got that look at you can see that tattoo I got amazing amazing oh shit my free time decreased okay fair enough yet there's a lot of there's a lot of backs I mean remember I set my age as 30 we're not into the game yet and my I'm still 18 still 18 I don't remember doing that I fall in asleep again by looks things I don't remember doing this much stuff when I was 18 you accept a job lifeguarding at a local swimming pool after a short training course you certify and rescue swimming and first aid then get issued with the red one-piece swimsuit a whistle and a rescue boy it's a pretty laid-back job lots of flexibility because the management lets you swap hours with other lifeguards as much as you want you sit by the pool watching people with hot and not so hot bodies in bathing suits and occasionally you get to save someone's life being a female lifeguard is strange because you experience power and vulnerability at the same time you're in a position of authority and control but you're also unclothed and sexualized is that a lifeguard sexualized one good thing about the job is that it motivates you to stay in shape knowing that you'll be on display in a clingy red swimsuit helps when you're tempted to skip a workout or eat that extra slice of pizza I feel that this is spreading a terrible message to put what's happened to my eyes did you see that did you just see what happened to my eyes they were kind of like half open half closed that look just too weird right anyway let's carry on oh shit shit we've got yet no I mean Baywatch fantasies and actual like Sheffield public swimming bath lifeguards not the same thing Jack yeah right this is another kink fin yet Jesus Christ too many of these a poster on a campus notice board catches your eye should it is ASMR celebrating women and their bodies exhibition student models required a third year visual communication student needs female students willing to post topless or nude for an exhibition periods and challenge the self-critical internal and external dialogues that women often have about body image okay I mean this sounds this sounds pretty good I'm on board with that there's a mobile number to call if you're interested wait yeah fuck it let's call that number let's call that number I'm all about body body positivity right that's that's that's cool you call the number on the poster and speak to a guy called Craig Aitken hmm he explains that his project aims to reverse the misogyny and objectification present in a normal nude photo shoot that's I'm pretty sure that's what they all say right that is what they all say to do instead of the photographer giving direction the model the model would choose how much of her body she wants to expose and how she wants to be portrayed you'll get a chance to write about your feelings before and after your photograph and your narrative will be hung anonymously with photographs in the exhibition which will be displayed on campus the only rules are that you must either be topless or naked and your face must be in the photo I don't want to disembodied women he explains are you interested yeah okay I mean it this might be me being naive but I think it sounds like a positive I think it sounds like a positive thing right so I'm I'm I'm signing up for that here we go sign me up I got a I got a brief glimpse there I got a I got a brief glimpse did it say it was anonymous oh shit I can't go back because I'm not I'm not a paid up member so I can't go back and read it shit right so the following so I do you know what I like this though I like that that looks super comfy I wonder where she got that from I like the car quite like the lace I assume that it's some sort of satin as well oh yeah words will be well words will be posted anonymously with the pics that implies that maybe they're not just they're not saying they're not saying who said the words I don't fucking know I didn't write this awful dross what's next on the there we go sneaky this this this tracks called sneaky I mean this is the kind of soundtrack to a to a nude photo shoot right the following Saturday you're in a room on campus there's been converted into a photo studio there are lamps on tripods and all the windows are covered with thick paper you emerge from a makeshift changing room wearing a bathrobe and your favorite heels Craig Akin is waiting for you why have I got heels on though probably don't need the heels right you've seen him around on campus he's very short less than five feet tall and you absolutely tower over him in your heels you have to lean forward to shake hands with him I Catherine right he beams up at you love the shoes okay so we're gonna do the shoot topless or nude I'm not allowed to say nude because I'm not an exhibitionist remember I chose promiscuous rather than exhibitionist so it looks like topless topless is the way to go here we go topless wait no she's from she's from London and she so top topless this is my car lot boy perfect he says and check something on his camera okay Catherine when you're ready just take the robot for moving to this area take off your robe I hope you guys are ready content warning she's probably gonna get a tits out when I as soon as I click this link all right yep you take a deep breath untie your robe and slip it off bearing your breasts and almost all your body to Craig wow he murmurs reassuring you look absolutely beautiful really elegant here let me take that you pass the rope and he hangs it carefully over the back of a chair while you walk into the empty space he indicated your heels clicking in the quiet room okay Catherine this really is going to be your shoot says Craig tell me a little bit about how you'd like to appear I mean I I feel kind of I feel kind of bad because I've got that what was that tattoo that I got was it like hot pussy or something and I'm not I can't take my pants off to show it but we've got the rose tattoo there let's get some more more music here what about eerie eerie music that sounds oh wait a minute we got we might have more bouncy music I'd selected bouncy and there's a onion capers is the name of this tune let's let's let's try that this sounds like a naked fish you just did that I think again she just did that I think again right let's find out how we'd like to appear the shoot yes I do have my navel piercing I do have my navel piercing remember that was a it was sapphire one sapphire one look how pleased I am though I fucking love in this shit man the shoot lasts for nearly an hour and Craig takes hundreds of photos of you he coaches you on various facial expressions model poses and how you choose to look can take what and how where you choose to look can totally change the characteristics of a photo shoot if you want an artistic vibe look away from camera perfect he explains if you want to be sexy looking to lens yeah like that that's the difference between art and porn in porn the model looks at the camera what so the difference between art and porn it's that in porn the model looks at the camera does that mean that any photo where the model looks at the camera is porn I don't you feel like you learn a lot okay cool Craig's totally professional but the whole experience is still a major turn on okay there's something up with those tits though man they don't they don't look right what's what can you I don't know if you can see there's a there's a weird line at the top of them at least I got my kit back on now right straight after the shoot you're asked to write down your thoughts about it conscious that your narrative will be going on display you write something about confidence and empowerment instead of explaining that you now get why models having sex with photographers is a thing fuck sake your nipples are engorged your pussy is slick would fuck him right now if he asked me to realize I really enjoyed it you say thanks Craig back in your room you get straight into bed peel off your soaking wet thong and the question to everyone everyone watching right now have you ever ever ever in your entire lives use finger bait no no you have not you've not used that word none of you have because it's not a fucking word in fact I will go one step further and save it until this point none of you had ever even seen that word before ever oh my god and for hours really girls watching for hours is that hours surely not that's good that's gonna not ours right you can't you can't keep it going that long am I right I need I need I just need a minute okay I need a fucking minute right bear with me a second I'm gonna go I'm just gonna pop to the fridge and I'm gonna get a I'm gonna get a can of coke and that is gonna that's gonna help me sort of like just just work up the courage to click continue okay you are right the the music the music the music is adding a lot to this I will I'll try and find something of equal value this one's called club shameless okay I'll be back in I'll be back in one second don't don't go anywhere don't go anywhere right here we go here we go here we go continue oh I got I got 500 XP of modeling does that mean I qualify as an alternative model now do you remember Bob the alternative model on on Facebook do you remember that guy it's like some old dude yeah right good okay so two months later the exhibition goes on display for three weeks it's open to students faculty and visitors you're one of about 50 Sheffield girls who took part on the opening night the crowd is mostly female the models and their friends your friends tell you that you're brave and you look amazing as well of course I do except for those weird lines at the top of my test in the promo material the university's art director calls celebrating women and their bodies a triumph in every photo the models all Sheffield students and a kid he writes yet the nudity seems to be beside the point instead of bright personalities of women burst out at viewer almost overwhelming in the fact of nakedness a black and white topless photo of you gazing sensuously into the camera wearing nothing but wait a minute no stop hold up hold up freeze fucking record scratch what is that sound you know I'm about to play a tune called cruising for goblins right so I've got some issues here because it says here where the fuck did I read that gazing sensuously into the camera now if you remember rightly that fucking guy what was his name Clark or something he said that the difference between art and porno is that in porno girls look at the camera right and if I'm gazing at the camera now Craig that was it thanks if I'm gazing into the camera now does that not make it porn right I'm fucking live it now wearing nothing but heels in a skimpy thong makes it into the printed program the caption reads Catherine 18 psychology students the exhibition calls a minor stir in the local press some commentators call it empowering or harmless others wonder how parents will feel about Sheffield hanging nude images that you know what I didn't give a fuck I'm 18 you know I can do what the fuck I like all right the fuss dies down quickly though the only real change you notice in the weeks after the exhibition is you get lots of messages from male students you barely know trying to get you to hook up obviously mind you because I set promiscuous as my as my traits probably means I banged all of them now I kind of wish I hadn't done that whatever it's all good experience right oh shit what am I wearing now that is that is an outfit and a half look at that I got plus 1000 yoga experience yes look at those leg warmers as well they are amazing oh man yeah messy bun as well she's got it all going on she has got it going on one of your friends persuades you to sign up for yoga classes with her her motivation is to meet chilled out sensitive men with man buns and what lean sculpted muscles okay but you fall in love with the practice itself the benefits to your mood physique and see I fucking I know where it's at yeah you know oh shit and we've finished cruising for desert of lost souls derp nugget this song is called here we go all music by Kevin McLeod in Competech calm by the way right cool so we fell in love with practice benefits to your mood your physique your overall health comes so fast and so obvious that you quickly become an enthusiastic yogini so I assume that's the correct with access to unlimited food at the cafeteria what unlimited food is that something that Sheffield University offers I don't know and no parental control over their diets higher alcohol intake and snack fueled late-night study sessions many students pack on weight in their first year at university some say that putting on 15 pounds is typical you're determined to avoid the freshman 15 so in addition to yogi take a cardio exercise are we joining the gym or the running about sorry it's got to be the running club got to be the running club wait a minute did you see that my underwear was under armor I wonder if I wonder I've got a 1400 xp running I wonder if that was I wonder if that was related to you know I've totally lost my train of thought whatever okay the university has several running clubs catering to different ambitions and ability levels you join one called the running dead was the walking dead a thing in 2006 just wondering because a male friend is in it and get introduced to dozens of scenic running routes that you'd never have discovered alone running brings physical improvements you can go further and faster and you look great in short skirts skinny jeans but also mental ones oh right mental improvements not mental skirts the camaraderie of running long distances in a group the confidence built by regular physical accomplishment and the resilience that only people who have run through exhaustion can understand you stay in the club and from time to time enter races building up a collection of mail see I mean this we're this is the wholesome part of the game here this is the I can get on board at this this is all right right okay sorry about that didn't know this was gonna happen okay right so we got another kink fin yet I'll try it I'll try and get through this as quickly as I can show let's scroll down a little bit there don't need to see that do we this in future versions this scene will be picked randomly from a list of liked right okay so content warning this is probably gonna be horrendous I apologize it's 3 a.m. the morning after your 18th birthday party in your dream wait I'm I've been 18 for ages okay right whatever whatever I also wouldn't I be 18 before I went to university birthday kiss turned into a long-drunk make-out session which turned into coming back to your place the sex started out passionately and get more intense in fact it's starting to hurt you while his penis I mean there's nothing more there is nothing more arousing than the sentence while his penis moves rhythmically inside you he pinches and tugs your nipples and squeeze your squeezes your breasts so hard that you're sure they're gonna be bruised in the morning you squirm and let you know I'm not into this get get the fuck out get out he pinched you again totally misjudging your mood Rich is apologetic but you're furious yeah no fucking no no fucking shit I'm furious Jesus Christ you don't you don't fucking I mean like this speaking as me sure I like a little bit of rough sex but you know what people need to be in agreement before you start that shit man fuck right anyway you kick his ass out of your room and out of your life sex is supposed to be our mutual pleasure you tell a friend over coffee the next day I probably wouldn't discuss that over coffee with a friend to be honest I don't know maybe that's just me I tend not to discuss that sort of thing to be to be fair yeah fuck you rich okay cool right I did get BJ experience there though so I guess that's cool right have I got my clothes on yet yes good right I've got my clothes back on good yes the safe word is finger bay yeah when does the spy stuff happen it's it's a long way it's a long way to fucking 30 years old from here let's go for teddy bear waltz alright here we go right so once you even once you've adapted study in the big change of university life finding enough free time to take up an extracurricular activity cosplay no yet no fucking oh yes slave layer of course it's fucking slave layer oh Jesus yes finally 19 same age same age as Carrie Fisher when she was playing slave layer right as a nerdy teenager you often felt alone in what you liked going to a sci-fi gaming or anime convention always felt like going home and I mean you guys know those feels right that's fucking big mood right here at university you decide to get involved in cosplay scene yourself starting simply with a Ramona flowers costume when did when did Scott pilgrim come out someone check that for me look and you know right right where blah blah blah blah as you more confident and more body confident come I mean I'm pretty sure I'm already pretty fucking body confident you know considering how many sexual partners I've had and the fact that I've done that fucking naked photo shoot already and I worked as a lifeguard when I was 16 you move on to more ambitious and sometimes sexier costumes being admired by and posing photos with your fellow geeks is not yeah no I was talking about the comics when I said when did it come out with your fellow geeks nice but the really transformative thing about cosplay is that it teaches you that you have some of the qualities that your fictional idols do let's be careful here you can feel as powerful as Daenerys or a sexier slave layer or as heroic as Wonder Woman that makes putting up with the occasional hurtful comments stares and creepers totally worth it I mean I guess I hope I hope I never cosplay Harley Quinn though because fucking come on man that's been that's been overdone and no one ever did it as good as Emma anyway here we go right no one uses all of their time constructively from time to time you just need to blow off steam and have fun how do you do it can't select cyber sex that that makes me sad I kind of want to go to metal nights but I'm not a rock chick so apparently I'm not allowed because only rock chicks can go to metal nights and live music because there's the only people that like that don't want student nights or do I just want more Tinder hookups was Tinder around in 2007 I don't think it was this this game is an anachronism I look pretty cool there oh no I've embraced University drinking culture I didn't want to do that that wasn't an option right okay as well as embracing a few toilet bowls and unsuitable partners on the not so rare occasions when you down too much wine or too many mixes sometimes the hangover wipes you out for the whole next day but you're not worried you're hardly the only girl doing it oh god not another kink vignette when's the spy stuff start fuck's sake right you're in the kitchen at a dying party where two hot guys are playing applying you with alcohol and compliments both the lean handsome and athletic with buzzcuts and attractive confidence swaggers the young men are British Army infantry soldiers on their last night of leave between deployments they tagged along to the party with a girl they met in a bar but they've ditched her in favor of you instead you're sat up between them on a kitchen counter trading stories about yourself the stories about war zones and ruined countries I know it doesn't sound that cool to me one is leaning in to pass you another beer your face is very close and the other is ever so gently tracing a finger along your thigh through your jeans okay I'm having them both take a swig from the beer and kiss the guy Adam who gave it to you an impulsive peck on the lips that turns into a full-on make-out right there on the kitchen counter the other soldiers hand slips off your leg disappointed eyes closed still kissing Adam you reach down take Craig's and this is not this can't be the same Craig from before right and lift it right back onto your thigh his fingers are still for a second then he starts to grope you with more energy and daring while you make out with his friend you break it off and turn your head to Craig and lean in for a kiss he smells different tastes different kisses different you make out with him while Adam's hands explore your breasts the top of your butt you come up for air with four male hands on you and an uncertain expression on your face the guys look at each other a little awkwardly and then stand back at you some of the kitchen party goes well okay I don't have a choice I have to go and bang them it seems wait I've got my top off now into a downstairs bathroom this is the worst thing stepping over a passed-out girl onto a small room with a door that locks Adam steps into your space and pulls you back into a clinch his mouth getting reacquainted with yours you feel Craig moving behind you kissing your neck his erect rod pushing into the small of your back that's not where it goes it's not where it goes Craig you lift your arms up over your head and blah blah blah blah I'm not you know what I'm not gonna read all of this you're worked up but you have friends here and the realization this is bound to be hot gossip on campus tomorrow suddenly occurs to you suddenly someone bangs on the door making you jump Adam lifts his mouth off your breasts to shout fuck off dismissively then goes back to sucking your left nipple this is the sexiest sex scene that ever sexed Craig's hand is down the front of your knickers a fingertip probing between your slick lips yeah I mean this doesn't I I just want to get the fuck out here I don't even care about the I don't I don't come on don't be a cock tease fuck off Craig no means no alright bye I'm not that kind of girl I mean I kind of am that kind of girl at least I was before I went to university I don't know you go bathroom slip away from the party alone disappointing both the soldiers and Lewis that was a sexy experience but you're glad you didn't go too far and end up doing something you'd regret drunken kitchen makeouts are one thing but having a threesome with two guys you just met is going way too far yes I've got a bag now from time to time employers visit the campus to sell the benefits of working for Amazon or Netflix or Apple I read that in the wrong order ready in different order the recruiter Ryan paints a balanced picture oh no wait where you've attended some and skipped others but oh wait we're getting to yes we are getting here to fucking mi6 territory on 20 years old now you can tell cuz I've got a bag now right we got Ryan here it's talking about the critical role the foreign intelligence plays in Britain security and ability to influence world events he talks about the excitement of living and working in exotic international locations but he also tries to shock his audience by reminding them this is not Hollywood mi6 steel secrets he says mi6 intelligence officers talk to people in to commit an espionage against their countries yikes this is hardcore I'm not gonna click it but I just I really want to know what would happen if you say it's not for me because surely the entire point of this game is that you're a fucking mi6 agent right is that just gonna be game over right I'm applying for the job you glance around seraptiously nobody's looking at you feeling a little foolish you took your CV why would I feel foolish applying for a job at mi6 I'm not another kink vignette come on guys oh shit this is an older men one I am not banging my teacher I think I'm gonna complain to HR oh yes my academic performance increased you talked some of your classmates about it but then no helps they all think Dr. Holmes is a delicious and they all wish he was flirting with them instead but having someone you saw as a mentor take a sexual interest yeah it's fucking wrong man Jesus was this why he spent so many hours advising you yeah probably what about what about this tune shit man yes on itsuka sensei okay right Dr. Holmes is mortified an apologetic insistence all a misunderstanding he agrees to undertake sexual harassment training and issue written apology from this point forward he's on eggshells around you in the classroom in your assignments start coming back with better grades how many serious relationships am I gonna have in university modern campus relationships can be seriously confusing it's often hard to know exactly what your relationship status is with someone or how much even likes you straight out asking guys questions like that can make you seem too emotional crazy or any of the related stereotypes commonly pegged on women so you and your friends spend hours deciphering the hidden meanings in text chats chats and Instagram instead with a noticeable man's shortage on campus and many guys seeming to prefer porn and video games to dating real live women that's not that's not a thing girls are expected to be cool about hooking up first and dating someday maybe no they're not don't say that your friends describe themselves as kind of with a guy sort of seeing him hanging out do you know what I think fuck this I I'm gonna have zero serious relationships god do I have to have casual relationships can't I just get to mr fuck off man I have a minimum a minimum of nine hookups it's that because I said no serious relationships well info penny in for a pound we're gonna have 16 I'm just gonna randomly generate them because it's gonna get me experience right okay I don't I don't even care here there we go right look at that look at that I got so much extra experience there I don't I wonder if one woman's I don't think I don't think any of the people who made this have ever actually seen a woman in real life I think they just read about women on the internet right after three years of study and campus life the most stressful part of your university career begins as you and your friends all hunker down to prepare for your final exams you're predicted grades are hovering between a 2-1 which is respectable come on a 2-1's pretty good man and a 2-2 which would be a disappointment 2-2's all right Jesus I got a 2-1 me in real life FYI looking back over your recent grades you work out the one who professors marked on your paper 17 instead of 69 69 dudes I mean should I should I exercise some sexual power here or no there is no option for a for a male character is it's females only this song's called Cyborg Ninja by Kevin McLeod at Incompetent.com I'm gonna put on the short skirt and some makeup why have I only got a 10% chance man come on let's have a look how do they calculate this right so lower neuroticism is better why oh no lower neuroticism yeah that makes no sense I don't have the persuade skill I do get plus one for wearing makeup and a short skirt well I mean fuck it I've got a 10% chance let's see what happens oh shit I rolled a 2 you visit Dr. Brown his office and explain your predicament the change in the marking of one single paper could be the difference in a 2-1 and 2-2 for you you ask if there's anything in your paper that could possibly justify and regrade in it the Welshman sits white normally friendly chubby face into a look of somber reviews I'm sorry Catherine I'm sorry Catherine but I can't change a grade that wouldn't be fair and the other students my Welsh accent probably needs work to be fair right I'll do anything I will do anything I've got a 40% chance of succeeding if I offer to blow him let's see how they calculate that right apparently the attract my attractiveness now remember my attractiveness is all right I'm I'm like the hot girl next door so I get plus two there but again I don't have the persuade skill man okay so I've got a fuck it I've got a I've got a 40% chance let's oh no I was so close I was so close what the fuck do you expect is gonna happen Catherine if you say I'll suck your penis right here in your office that's not sexy you for a second weighing it up and then shakes his head no way he says right not because it's totally inappropriate and would literally mean the end of his career and it's like totally the wrong thing to do but because it wouldn't be fair to the rest of the class it wouldn't be fair to the rest of the class that's the reason that's the reason not because it's like you know exploitation by a person in in a position of power Jesus fucking Christ man yeah I should I should have just made more effort on that paper I'm gonna get a 2-2 now aren't I look she's pretty fucking happy though look at that haven't seen a smile like that before oh I got a 2-1 no what what the fuck I got the first oh man how about that I didn't even need to blow my fucking tutor that's fucking great I feel I'm pretty stoked about that let's let's put on some let's put on some victorious sounding music let's go for bright bright music bright music flying kerfuffle this music's called yes yes that is that is this that is the sound track for getting a first-class degree you and some friends have to head to the pub to absorb the news summer celebration summer commiserating feels like the end of an era for all of you yep yeah the class of 2009 oh good I got 1800 XP in psychology let's what skills do I actually have I still don't have anything in persuade I got plus two psychology got plus two BJ as well I have no idea how you absorb news yeah yeah one yoga okay your so where are we class 2009 assembled in one in full one final time for a formal ceremony students wearing gowns and mortarboards accompanied by their families pose of lots of photos your commencement speaker focuses on the importance of reminding yourself to be present what they don't even mean afterwards there's a terribly awkward drinks reception in which you end up introducing your mum to various people you've drunkenly shagged I I I like to think that that's how I do it as well hi mum this is some guy I drunkenly shagged you know later later you and your friends slip away for celebratory drinks in one of your old haunts the mood is bittersweet there's a sense of sadness that it's all over but also genuine excitement about the future some of your friends are going on to master's degrees or doctorates others are applying for jobs with tech companies and big corporates few are taking a break to go traveling and see some of the world when asked what your plans are you tell people you're considering the civil service made with the foreign office well what happened to that fucking MI6 application I put in for shit's sake look at that that's amazing I mean you could probably still you could probably still clip that what they don't know is that a few weeks ago you received a call from a woman named Becky she told you that she's a recruiter for MI6 and they're interested in your application you could hardly believe it out of all those CDs they picked mine in a long phone conversation she explains the agency is basically divided in two parts reports and operations reports officers or our officers work mostly HQ assessing secret intelligence and advising politicians the military and foreign threats events and organizations operations officers work overseas often undercover sometimes risk of breast capture the job is to steal secrets either put well I mean we're obviously going to be operations officers here aren't we Becky thinks you'd be best suited for a career as an art officer why having said that though if we're yeah no I want to be an operations officer I don't care I don't care what Becky says right Becky gives you a fitness plan and a reading list of books and websites promises to be in touch you dive into the reading list learning all you can about current affairs and the history of MI6 it's overwhelming jumping between subjects and as unrelated as Chinese politics the history of Islam and the evolution of satellite photography you learn as much as you can but it's hard to be sure that you're focusing on the right things no games just sports boys we've got here Fantasia Fantasia know that at least the fitness plan is well within your ability is this sounds like fitness music right you're able to complete the runs workouts and stretches that the plan recommends you build up to you feel like you have an advantage when it comes to physical training you train hard anyway running around the neighborhood most days weeks past family and friends ask how the job application is going you're not allowed to tell anybody about your application so you lie you tell them you're applying for a position with the foreign office and the background checks are taking some time weeks turn into months while am I saying oh I'm digging that that's nice that little waistcoat do you know what I I mean I would have worn a pencil skirt in that gap though I don't think that I don't think the trousers really work I mean they kind of do but I think a pencil skirt would have probably worked better you know coming down to it you know modest length like that right you take a bar job in the meantime Carlitos is lively on a Friday night and the bus likes you but you didn't need to get a psychology degree degree to mix negronies what's a negroni I assume that's some sort of drink right on social media university classmates announced I need jobs in corporate HR are going on to doctorates weeks and weeks pass without hanging anything from MI6 it's hard not to worry about getting left behind at last Becky calls you back and invites you to a face-to-face interview I have a job interviewer MI6 it feels unreal there we go there's that pencil skirt I would have preferred it a little bit longer but you know beggars can't be choosers in a nondescript office building you're an hour into an interview with a group of stone-faced MI6 agents they pat you with questions about your reading list some require factual answers others for you to talk knowledgeably about a subject who are the member states of NATO who is the Prime Minister of Pakistan why what do you think will happen next in Afghanistan what are your thoughts about cyber security it's an intense and stressful grilling and you have to resort to vagueness guessing and admissions of ignorance and embarrassing number of times the room is air-conditioned but you feel your armpits sweating as they interrogate you you're glad he can't sorry I'm laughing because I just out the corner of my eye saw the word jabroni so yeah good the room is air-conditioned but you feel your armpits sweating as they interrogate you glad you kept your jacket on shut up the Prime Minister of Pakistan is not called jabroni right cannot be cannot be Kimberley the most senior of the interviewers ask you how you'd react in a hypothetical scenario you're meeting an Emirati government official in a hotel room in Dubai she says he's the member of the Royal Family and an informant for the UK you hear noises in the corridor it's the police if they catch an MI6 officer with this man you'll be imprisoned and his life will be in danger you entered the UAE undercover on a tourist visa what do you do pretend he seduced me right let's try something else says kev a Welshman with a bushy beard and dark gleaming eyes tell us how you'd rob a bank you have 60 seconds to organize your thoughts starting now you know what let's have some bank robbing tunes on this is this is bank bank heist planning music right what I didn't even get to answer the question I've got a 90% chance of passing the interview let's find out why where's the negative come from I get minus one for being very tall I'm not even six foot I'm not that tall come on or whatever hey I rolled a 10 that's a critical success two weeks after the interview you receive a fat envelope in the post it's conditional offer of employment as an operations officer recruit with MI6 the offer is subject to your availability sorry it's up to your ability to pass a medical exam the fitness test psychiatric exam detailed background vetting background vetting includes an intrusive hostile interview with a hatchet face woman who grills you on your sex life drug use your finances and more okay who knew that would come back to haunt me right what kind of porn do you watch what kind of porn do you watch have you disclosed all your illegal drug use to the vetting team what about your homosexual encounters have you told anyone about your application to MI6 are you hiding contracts with foreign government officials look do they really need to I doubt they need to know that stuff why would they give a fuck about homosexual encounters luckily your family and friends don't grill you so ruthlessly you tell them lie after lie about your incredibly slow recruitment civil service then one morning nearly nine months after you spoke to Becky on the phone she calls you to tell you that you've made it congratulations Catherine she says you've cleared all the background checks I'll now be able to offer you a start day I mean it only took it only took like fucking nearly two and a half hours but we're finally at the point where in MI5 I'm still only 22 though remember I set my age to 30 while your university classmates learn the ropes their office jobs your ship tunnel MI6 training camp in the bleak and windswept southern tip the Gosport Peninsula about half the course is spent in the classroom learning the administration of the agency the theory of how to cultivate recruit handle and debrief agents listening to casinos and receiving presentations various different MI6 departments the remainder spent on increasingly complex series of practical exercises let's see find out what they are oh I've got some experience crammed in the back of a minibus for the dozen other recruits your silent and tense you're driven through the darkness and driving rain towards the center of nearby Portsmouth it's 8 30 p.m. on the first night of the course and the streets are almost empty one by one recruits are dropped off in the dark side streets or deserted car parks your turn comes next the instructor wishes you luck as you slip out into the rain and orient yourselves towards your target yeah I mean I finally got I finally got the short hair the objective of operation perfect stranger the first practical exercise is simple but nerve-wracking go to a pre-assigned pub in downtown Portsmouth and using whatever roost you can invent get a member of the public to reveal their name address date of birth occupation and driving license number I don't think that would be too hard personally but whatever you've been given an alias yet all girls short spiky hair you've been given an alias but no training and hardly any time to prepare you are briefed in the minibus your mind is racing as you walk up to the target here we go right pushing open the door of the hole in the wall pub you step in from the rain and take a quick look around your first impression is that the place is alarmingly quiet you walk up to the bar and order a drink the barman serves you with an air of surly reluctance as he's as if he's taken an immediate dislike to you for some reason you gaze subtly around the room looking for other prospects a young good-looking couple of drinking beers at one table nearby an old man drinks alone wearing a maroon baseball cap with a winged parachute emblem and the word airborne stitched into it at a pool table a rowdy bunch of teenagers are bantering loudly trying to attract your attention well I mean I'm gonna obviously fucking bang the teenagers aren't I are they gonna have driving licenses though wait no if they're in the pub then yeah teenagers you sit on your bar stall and just wait alone occasionally casually glancing over to the kids playing pool you can tell they're egging each other on to approach you but it's taking them a long time some enough courage to do so finally with your drink nearly empty one of them walks up to the bar to order around he stands right next to you while he does so but despite having a natural opportunity to say hi fails to do so running out of time are we gonna go in hard here run a hand seductively through you know we're just gonna say hi I'm gonna say hi you say he smiles enthusiastically pretending to have noticed you for the first time oh hi he says I'm off Libby you lie shaking his hand he can't think of anything to say so it just smiles the barman serves him too many drinks for him to carry back at once offer to help you need some help with those you ask keeping your voice casual as though it's the most normal thing in the world for a girl to for a girl to help a guy carry his drinks I mean it's not that abnormal is it yeah thanks his face lights up you help carry the drinks back to his group of friends who will look very impressed with Marv do you want to play pool asks one sure you shrug chalking up a cue while Marv sets up the table when you were studying at Sheffield one of your regular haunts was an Irish pub with a pool table the teenager who'll play you takes out a coin to flip winner breaks he suggests tails never fails right we're going for tails tails it is yes you bend over the table and strike the cue ball sending it crashing into the others oh shit she can play hoots Marv you're fucked Rob you take turns with Rob okay I misinterpreted that probably because the music had stopped let's try Shenyang is a tune let's try that I mean this is the sound of an English pub right you take turns with Rob aware the others are enjoying looking at your bum when it's your turn to bend over the table and shoot they seem like a harmless if immature bunch while you play you try to work out a way to get a look at some driving licenses you get your chance when Marv's asked if your single is tone hopeful I'm way too old for you guys huh you ask taking the break to grind chalk off the tip of your cue I'm way too old for you guys are you even allowed to be in here I bet you don't even have driving licenses are fucking nice one Catherine yeah we do objects Rob fishing out his to prove it is that real you pretend to study it skeptically while memorizing the info well you're still too young you say dismissively and my boyfriend's picking me up soon anyway you conclude dashing their fantasies oh man what a bitch as soon as you can you slip away to the loo and tap the details into smartphone with your mission accomplished you hang out with the thwarted teens until it's time to be picked up you climb back into the minibus a few minutes later it's bursting with an animated chatter the other some of it tipsy elatedly describing how they condiniscence villains into handing over their personal details the drive back is in high spirits although two recruits who failed the mission and nervous back at Fort Moncton the instructor enters details you found into stone ghost a massive intelligence data base shared with the US Canada Australia and New Zealand the Five Eyes Alliance it turns out that Rob the boy you played pool with served two years in juvenile detention for rape perfect stranger is the first of many training exercises that you'll go on to carry out against the citizens of Portsmouth the training is designed to plunge you into unfamiliar situations and test your ability to improvise and deceive many recruits just don't have what it takes and I quickly eliminated from the course all operations officers learn tradecraft the practical skills that spy users secretly meet or communicate agents tradecraft encompasses skills like surveillance count surveillance disguise brush contacts and the use of dead letter boxes good tradecraft requires guile cunning acting ability and most of all careful planning most of your training takes place in Portsmouth usually under surveillance by teams from MI5 special branch HM revenue and customs or the Army Intelligence Corps sometimes you beat the surveillance sometimes you don't Carpe diem yeah the thwarted teens is my backstreet boys cover man would listen would listen thousand percent would listen these days computers are simplified communications and often safer and easier to communicate with encrypted software like tour and tales then it is to meet an agent in person in the classroom you learn a lot about computer security but traditional tradecraft is still taught partly as a fallback technique and partly because the discipline and over required to plan and execute social operations is greater than just clicking the send button on a computer and also because fucking neck beards obviously fetishize it oh why am I tits out that's that's better right cool I've got the I got more the course also has a tough physical component with runs and high intensity circuit training every weekday although you're trained to avoid combat MI6 a separate unit code named E squadron I don't know if that's true for carrying out violent taskings like raids and personnel captures you'll never will less taught how to defend yourself if things ever go wrong twice a week you learn self-defense from Kevin a towering Scottish ex-royal marine he teaches you how to put a bigger opponent into an agonizing thumb lock how to disarm an attack of wielding a gun or knife and how to end a fast and a fight fast by breaking a wrist or an ankle what my wrist or ankle you also learn weapons handling practicing mainly with pistols also assault rifles submachine guns and shotguns and advanced driving thrashing battered cars and a skid track combination of skills quite uncommon blah blah blah blah right okay we've got a 70% chance of making the grade and we did it yay I got wow 1500 driving XP there that's pretty good going as recruits are finned out and the cadre dwindles to a hardcore the training becomes more advanced you learn about psychology of recruiting agents how to spot potential assets had win their trust had convinced them to portray their country other comrades for you how to train and protect them how to detect the interned spend a week gaining familiarity with e-squadron their capabilities including demonstration of a frogman planting a tracking beacon on a container ship in the harbor and a white knuckle helicopter night flight at full speed and tree skimming altitude I feel the music adds a lot to this oh god it switch I went there I went there last year that's that's about all I can say you routinely beat the surveillance during your ongoing exercise in Portsmouth now even though they're much more complex instead of tricking pubgoers out of their driving license numbers you trick your way into private property and restricted areas you learn a lot about how to lie and how not to get caught in a line the worst lies the ones you have to tell your friends and family about what you're doing now first it's kind of exhilarating to lie in the interest of national security but it tries to wedge into your personal relationships young said the maintenance this is this is neckbeard 101 isn't it young said the maintenance of secrets acts like a psychic poison which alienates their possessor from the community from time to time you worry that this career will be lonely oh that's that's all right oh look at that jacket that's cool man I assume these are standard issue military boots as well the training culminates in a final exercise operation solo which takes place overseas in court there's that cooperation with the umlau over the oh again with an allied intelligence service you're sent to snowy Norway to meet an arms smuggler codenamed Hecatee an occasional MI6 informant who was requested an urgent face-to-face undercover as an archaeology student studying the Starfortress in the old town of Frederikstad you established contact with Hecatee a meeting in a rustic cafe that's set up to look like a random bloke hitting on you Hecatee is Norwegian in his mid 50s who role plays difficult target as soon as you've exchanged code words he complains bitterly that MI6 isn't taken in seriously by sending a girl younger than his daughter he flat out refuses to work with you and demands that you organize a more experienced replacement I'm gonna assert myself there is no replacement you reply calmly that's not possible so put it out of your head he stares at you weighing you up and you stare back refusing to be intimidated slowly nods fine he says but I'm not happy I give a fuck mate do not give a fuck Hecatee tells you that he's involved in a deal to import four SA-18 anti-aircraft missiles from his contacts in that place the Chechen mafia the consignment will be shipped from Oslo to the English Channel wearing a cover of darkness will be unloaded into rigid hull inflatables once landed on the French coast God this is boring as shit isn't it I imagine that some of the guys that play this probably get hard on all of that all of that Michael Bay style talk there let's try this one it's important information but Hecatee doesn't have the details you need to turn it into actionable intelligence you tell him that you need the name of the container ship and details it's full itinerary especially exact date the transparent channel he promises get the answers from his fictional contact you arrange a follow with me I mean where I when I got into this game I was expecting some sort of interactivity but it just seems that I click and click and have sex with people and then every hour or so I get I get a choice send a report to HQ spend two days practicing your cancer valence drills we're building a cover story visiting the old Fortin town writing copious notes blah blah blah blah blah I can't be bothered to read all of this stuff now right so I've got money from a dead drop to pay Hecatee I hope I don't need to remember any of this stuff I've got my bag I don't have my back where is my bag it's not there let's go in a hired Audi heading north on a snowy highway you develop a bad feeling about the situation I've got a bad feeling about this as they say in every Star Wars movie you're speeding towards a pre-arranged meeting carrying a large amount of cash and plenty of incriminating documentation it feels like you're being set up 40 minutes into the drive Hecatee pulls into an SO station I need a piss he says it's inside maybe he does or maybe he's calling someone right okay I'm gonna try and hide the incriminating I mean 70 percent chance success yet I mean easy easy fuck this using a 20 Kroner coin you leave her open the trim panel in the passenger foot well a Hecatee's hired Audi and stuff photocopies and bank notes into the gap the flash drive is in the miss fucking god I haven't even finished reading that sentence and I just saw what the options were I just saw what the options were thing is right although in in real life it makes the least sense I'm trying to think in terms of the idiots that made this game and what would make the most sense to them right and hear me out on this yes he v knows the score this is not something that anyone would do or should do or it would anyone normal would even fucking contemplate doing let alone putting into a video game right but in the minds of the people that made this the only sensible choice for storing a flash drive I'm really really sorry I'm sorry it's going in there it's going in there yeah I mean safety first guys right I am I am woman up and just stick it in there no that's fucking don't you know about toxic shock syndrome right I know about that we're putting it we're wrapping it in a condom first oh god right it's you clip the trim panel back into place then quickly pull a condom out of your handbag rip open the packet and unroll the slippery condom please game makers please do not describe condoms in your games you pop the flash drive inside and tie it shut you take a quick look around the forecourt satisfied no one's watching you pull your coat up around your waist unbuckle your belt and unzip your jeans lifted then why are they going into so much detail fucking how yeah she looks look at her she looks really content and listen to the music that's playing as she puts this fucking as she puts this condom this USB stick in a condom I'm so sorry I'm so I can't apologize enough that's the end of that tune this this song is called lively lump sucker I think this is the this is good getaway music right you head north on E6 and are approaching the exit road to Oslo when you come up on a polity roadblock controlling the traffic flow as you draw closer one raises a leather gloved hand indicate if you'd pull in shit mutters heckety rolling into the inspection area shit it's this this is the same tune but in a ragtime style right right an armed Norwegian cop checks heckety's idea and confiscates ignition keys there's a long wait during which your home your ideas check to cops should search the boot finally a cop approaches heckety's window it bothers me that his name is written in capital letters as well there's a problem he reports in sing song English there's a problem he reports in sing song English one hand resting on the pixel grip of his MP5 submachine gun his expression is stern and suspicious you need to answer some questions at the station wait are we under arrest ask heckety but the cops don't answer they bundle you and heckety into the back a separate Volkswagen why are they so specific about the brand of car cops clambering in either side of the MP5's cradled in their laps two other officers take charge of the high-end Audi with sirens wailing and blue lights flashing you hurt all off the E6 into the streets of Oslo traffic parting in front of you the cops the cops the cops wordlessly drag you from the Passat escort you into an interrogation room and push you into a chair in front of a big steel desk they leave you in there for a while possibly watching you through the one-way mirror that takes up the whole wall in front of you you wait after a while a man dressed in civilian clothes enters the room I'm Inspector Torvik I'm Inspector Torvik he says in impeccable sorry in impeccable English I'm Inspector Torvik he says in impeccable English I'm sorry to treat you like this but we received information that a British intelligence agent is carrying out an authorized operation in Norway we need to eliminate you from our inquiries he hands you some forms and orders you to write down the details your name address occupation day of birth you fill in the details from your cover identity Millie Harvey and he cross-examines you on them you answer confidently determined not to be caught out so easily one of the cops who made the original arrest enter the room in interrupts Inspector Vihar Ika funet no in document there I don't know if that's pronunciation is correct and give a shit he murmurs quietly you don't speak Norwegian the damn right I don't fucking speak Norwegian but from his tone wait up weren't we in Sweden I thought we were in Sweden okay it doesn't matter but from his I don't know what that but from his tone you think he's failed to find anything incriminating Torvik glances back glares back sorry and issues a court command for the cop leaves the room Torvik questions you politely for the next hour checking through the minutiae of your cover story you stick to it and he's beginning to run out justification for holding you when the cop returns trying friendly clutching the photocops in cash Torvik studies the evidence in silence then looks up at you so Millie if you really are a student as you claim how do you explain these things in your car they appear to be a detailed descriptions of anti-aircraft weapon and a large amount of cash let's go for this tune not mine as hectic I've never seen him before it's Heming's car maybe he knows something about it Torvik sizing and irritation he gets them and leaves you feel like you're doing okay you're in custody but they haven't broken your cover story yet half an hour later he returns his mood is more hostile Miss Harvey I don't believe your story I'm arresting you for conspiracy to commit espionage you'll be in transit oh shit we got fucking rumbled man transferred to a secure she looks pretty happy about it though man you know the two cops handcuff you and frog march you back outside their grip on your arms is vice like if they're acting they're doing a good job as they walk you through an underground garage towards a waiting police fan you catch a glimpse of Hector's hired Audi they've had to absolutely rip it apart the wheels both front seats all the carpets and dozens of panels have been stripped out on a lion on the ground around it you can't hold back a smirk one of the cops notices and gives your hand gives your head a firm bash against the door frame of the van as they load you in the back what a bastard oh shit now I've got a fucking bag over my head I'm fucked two armed cops climb in with you one pulls a black hood over your head and then pushes your head down between your knees yeah a cab for real you grunt as he tightens the handcuffs so they buy into your wrists ow ow fuck you hear the rear oh fuck I can't believe you've done this you hear the rear doors being shut and the van purring into life the cop holds you in that position during a 10 minute drive to another location then they march you out of the van and into another underground garage where a different man takes control of you all you can tell about him is that he's very tall and very strong marches you inside through some corridors in which destination he pulls the hood off your head you're in a small window a cell no more than 10 feet by 10 feet it's furnished with a simple iron bed with a mattress and one pillow in the corner is a toilet you can't see any cameras but that doesn't mean there aren't any a brutal looking man is with you wearing drab winter clothes an old scar across one high Nordic cheekbone he uncuffs you letting blood flow back into your numbed hands uh strip he commands everything off now fuck off mate you strip yeah that's that's what i'm talking about he glares and points a finger right over face even his fingers look strong strip he says or i'll beat the shit out of you then your strip okay let's let's take off the watch oh man look james bond reference what comes off next um the glasses stay on man the glasses stay on off come the boots there we go i'm gonna i think i'm gonna take my uh jeans off i keep the coat on i suppose i have to take the coat oh jesus christ why do i have to go through all of this shit yeah glasses and socks is a quality combat but they've okay i'm i was able to keep my i was able to keep my uh my glasses on i can still see under that bag don't like that oh shit no no oh that's all right full fuck me i thought i'd lost all that progress i thought i'd lost all that progress it's all right it's all right it's all right we're sticking with fucking hell jesus christ gave me a heart attack there right you cuffs you again until she's set on the bed when you comply puts the hood back over your head footsteps leave and the door clanks shut it sounds like he's left the room uh but you lay there highly alert for a few minutes ears strain him before you let yourself relax with nothing else to do you lie down on the bed and wait the room is freezing cold and the mattress is i will remind you i still have a usb stick inside me at this point you wait in the cold what seems like hours body shivering for long periods before the door opens again strong man pulls you to your feet march to your food corridor and blah blah blah hood is pulled off your head right i'm still naked apparently right you're in a stark and brightly lit office room sat facing a long desk behind which sit two men and a woman they're wearing casual clothes and staring at you disdainfully scarface stands impassively behind you gazing off in the middle distance it feels like several minutes before one of the men speaks so miss harvey he begins empirically in norwegian soul miss harvey is that no that's a german accent i don't freaking know i understand from our police colleagues that you are english university student visiting frederick's dad and that's what is that accent i don't even know uh let me tell you we don't believe your story we have evidence that your foreign intelligence officer carrying out a legal espionage norway what half you got to say for yourself um cry that works right i'm just gonna cry you were preparing for this moment by summoning up the saddest thoughts you could imagine yeah like having to play this game you let the feelings rise up and your face crumble and tears spring to your eyes come on millie says tome both suvian and commanding you sense that he thinks he's on the verge of a break through tell us what you're really doing here you just cry instead of answering it feels cathartic and it buys you some time before they realize that you're stalling and resume the question they spit questions at you for 20 minutes or so cross-examining you on various details you cover your fictitious date of birth address where you study names of members of your family names of historic locations you had to study you can feel their frustration mountain and they know you're lying but they can't pin anything on you after a while you hood it and return to your cell scarface removes the hood until you've downed a glass of water and then restores it and cuffs you to the bed again this goes on for hours long periods being chained to the bed punctuate by further marches in the interrogation room where three people take further cracks at your cover story an unknown number of hours pass in the cold cell from time to time you snatch what feels like a few minutes of sleep eventually your cell door opens again scarface pulls off your hood uncuffs you and hands over the bag containing your clothes you fumble for your watch it's five p.m. just over 24 hours since the arrest hoping this is over you quickly get dressed all right i got my clothes back on now good scarface leads you to the corridor for flight stairs into a door well done hot zone hot zone um with a nod and friendly smiley gestures for you to enter inside is a meeting room where one of your instructors from fort muncton is waiting with hectic shake and congratulations kathryn says philip and it feels good to hear a british accent oh yeah hot zone was the tattoo i got wasn't it yes well remembered i'm glad someone was paying attention when i got my pussy tattooed um we had to let you go early says hectic we just couldn't pin anything on you this one's the star recruit philip she did very well uh the men usher you over to a large buffet i've still got a usb stick inside my chuff at this point i will point out okay uh you haven't eaten more than 24 hours and a heap of weird norwegian sandwiches looks absolutely delicious get yourself some food and a drink says philip some of the others will be a long in a while but they've still got some explaining to do where did you hide the flash drive the the flash drive i i can't tell if that's a typo or if they're trying to like if that's supposed to sound like an accent um yeah in my hot zone oh they love that they love that thanks v for that suggestion and the music as well man it's fucking bang on by the way this track is called nano hoedown uh it's by kevin mcleod at incompartec.com uh hecatee nearly spits out his sip of wine and philip bursts out laughing the first time you've ever seen him do so that was very resourceful the norwegian managers trying to keep things professional one by one the other recruits emerge relieved from captivity you fly home on a military c-130 and arrive back at bonk muncton feeling d-mob happy i did it what's rti what is rti fuck is rti i don't even know what rti is right let's try this tune on a chilly february morning the recruits who completed the course of summon one by one into commandant's office by officially commissioned blah blah blah while you wait to be called you and the other recruits amuse yourselves with an impromptu shooting competition with an outdoor 10 meter pistol range you're all now proficient enough to carry out flawless mozambique drills two snapshots to the body one aimed shot to the again this is fucking this is this is what incels jerk off to isn't it rti is the ancient japanese art of hide stuff in your janitor's yeah maybe good shooting hot zone oh god is that my nickname now uh body congratulates you after a uh after your turn you roll your eyes at him something tells you that nickname is going to stick incel gunfet yeah the sounds of gunfire and laughter roll out from the firing point while you and your friend shred paper targets and knocked down empty beer cans for months you've worked intensively together and you've come to know them well officers of the same training cadre tend to keep in touch throughout their subsequent careers and you have no doubt that you will too but for now everybody's keen say goodbye to fortmunkton and get into your new jobs relationships during operator school none i don't even have the option there rocking that pencil skirt again apparently we're in nigeria now um i feel i feel the game still has not actually begun um oh god right your first post needs nigeria you move into an apartment downtown lagos uh a crowded chaotic and noisy metropolis that is one of the fastest growing cities in africa undercover as researcher in blah blah blah why am i naked again i know it's all right i mean it is kind of sad that you spotted the two one tens both with tdi's but you wouldn't be you if you hadn't spotted that v so well done uh right you're real i just just to lay it on the line here guys it's 10 to 8 i'm probably going to wind this up at about eight o'clock i mean three hours is is long enough for anyone to play this game maybe i'll do a part two um because i know you're all itching to find out like you know where hot zone is going to go from here your real boss is sam the mi6 head of station you're here to assist him and become competent at the basics of real field work handling agents and writing reports under his guidance you carry out a series of secret meetings with the network of agencies built up government officials businessmen and british expats who all work as occasional mi6 informants i miss the start do you have to be straight but um yeah so uh bisexual is a kink um apparently you can't you can't be gay um and uh yeah by was an optional kink apparently because being by is kinky man or something all right so look i don't fucking know yeah exactly um under his guidance you carry out serious secret means with a network of agents built up blah blah blah legos is a buzzing city but a quiet posting and almost all the intelligence reports relate to british interest in the oil and gas industry after dreams of destroying terrorist cells and exposing coups d'etat this is something of a disappointment but the lively exotic vibrant beautiful beaches help make up for it are there beaches in legos i don't know yeah you you have to be white as well which is kind of shit um uh this song is called upbeat forever um you had to you know you had to pay to be able to have more than one kink so if you wanted to be by and promiscuous you had to pay uh right the need to maintain secrecy in your personal security creates a constant barrier between you and the normal world if you meet someone interested you can't say too much about what you do and that will make you seem unfriendly whenever someone does make an effort to get to know you triggers alarm bells in your mind why are they so interested are they a spy or god forbid a journalist the only but oh the other thing as well that you get when you pay uh is uh you can you can make your tits uh what was the highest 38e i think it was um at the moment i'm i'm rocking a 30 i think 36c um uh the only person you do feel a connection to is sam uh he's 15 years older than you and looks like he's neglected the gym for at least half that time but with his dark brown eyes and mopper curly hair he reminds you of a sexy grown-up version of john snow after a while you realize that you're looking forward to slipping away for your secret meetings with sam and you think he likes spending time with you too um during training you were warned not to date your co-workers and he has a wife and young child here in legos uh you met the wife at an embassy function pretty enough a similar age to sam she's a statuesque woman with glasses very big boobs and dark urban hair um i mean it would be in character for me to try and start an affair with sam um although it's a it's a total fucking asshole thing to do bearing in mind it's got so it's got a wife and kid yeah no i ain't about i'm not about that life let's leave them alone it'll it'll be alright you decide the developing feelings of sam would be a really bad idea for lots of reasons and you keep your working relationship professional um i've i've learned some nigerian pigeon apparently how many relationships am i gonna have uh two i guess right there's what do we got um we've got dean um what's the difference in a one night stand in a casual relationship it's casual relationship sort of like a fuck buddy arrangement is it is that why are they both in their 30s and i'm only 23 uh it's one night stand i just you know right i remember if i oh i can't choose a serious relationship um i i still don't know what the um what the sex experience actually actually does for you doesn't seem to seem to really do much but i'm gonna get tons of bj experience here so whatever i like i like the way it still tells me that i got no extra see there's that pencil skirt i was talking about fucking yes fucking love that look at that that looks great that is a really nice get-up i'm not sure about the heels probably prefer flats but you know uh right we're 24 now we're in Ankara the gateway between europe and middle east turkey is a modern islamic country struggling with terrorism modernization political instability and the conflict and demands of the usa europe russia israel and arabic nations you move into an apartment in whatever that place is gavaclodera is that how you pronounce it i don't know an upscale part of town dotted with embassies trendy bars and restaurants close to the city center ankara is much more serious and challenging posts in the lagos before you deploy you're warned that your counter surveillance drills must be very sharp every day as well as state security forces you have to work against hostile foreign intelligence services russian chinese and iranian agents are all active in the city and would all love to identify an mi6 officer the military is highly visible here and gun-wielding soldiers are a common sight in the streets terrorist attacks are a serious threat in turkey and so is violence against women in your security briefings you are told to be cautious when traveling alone to meet agents things are mostly okay in kavaclodera where on friday nights girls in short skirts go out to drink dance and chat they're working weeks away as they might anywhere in the west then in other parts of town you find yourself being followed in the street by local turkish men on several separate occasions including being followed by a group of men you want scary encounter in the old town after dark undercover as an international trade advisor at the british embassy you work this job for several hours a day just so you didn't lag us like before your supervisor keeps your duties easy so you have time to work for your real boss the mi6 station chief the job is the same as it was in lagos identify recruit and handle agents without being caught what's different here is the sheer range of information required dozens of transnational issues center on turkey including the planned establishment of a land energy corridor from the middle east into europe kurdish separatism is a i feel that this is really tangential to the plot i feel like i really don't need to know this stuff uh well who we got here we've got james mclean a tall muscular and handsome 22 year old graduate intern in your trade department uh okay he's very handsome looks very cute in a suit in his workout gear and he's jimmy wears workout workout tanks the fuck is a workout tank the older the other women in your team coup over in his presence several convicts very detailed sexual fantasies about him to you over after work drinks as you get to know him it's hard not to like him he's clever and cheerful and hardworking although he's confident and masculine he has no problem working for a woman shortly after he starts working for you tells you that before he left the uk his parents told him frequently compliment his new boss so he's going to start giving you three compliments a day don't don't tell her that you fucking idiot just do it you know although if you say oh yeah mum said i need to compliment you then she's going to fucking know it's insincere isn't she fucking idiot oh god let's try this one is this not the same tune that i just had before no whatever um in some ways james seems too good to be true you know the hostile agency sometimes use handsome charming men called romeos in the trade to seduce female embassy workers a romeo wouldn't normally be a british citizen but you run him through stone ghost but nothing uh you find nothing except details of a security baton he went through pride to his internship clean no issues okay but he might just be a nice guy look at that gal mo look at that wow right after a formal dinner and drinks reception you're back in your hotel room making notes about the people you met today some of them might potentially be worth the cool tip there's a tap at your door hold on you tap escape three times a keyboard shortcut on this mi6 issued laptop the securely closes your session and switches you back to windows can't just fucking alt tap and called again to the door who is it um you've been trained not to look through the door peep holes if you don't know who's on the other side if it's gunman you don't want to give him an easy head shot just me boss james you look through the peep hole you're still in his tux i'm gonna i'm gonna end up banging him aren't i okay i mean going out for a drink that that can't hurt right oh man we've gone to a hip subterranean nightclub which presumably is playing this banging tune that's on right now um with decadent kitsch decor scantily clad turkish girls dancing on plinths dancing on plinths and a dj serving a steady undulating synth wave rhythm right synth wave should we try and let's actually try and match the music to what's going on here see if i can find synth ghani genre um that commander electronica maybe maybe maybe this one's called laser pack i don't know does it sound like a turkish nightclub this is a this is a f***ing dj dead dancer classic right here um uh right he's one of the hottest guys in here uh if you want to communicate you have to use touch and after a night of feeling his fingers on your hands and arms and waist and hips you're feeling very horny that's what that is what gets girls horny am i right he pulls you in close to shout something but you don't turn your head and instead you find yourself just pressed up against some gates look i don't have an option not to kiss him james's tongue tangles with yours and his hand roams down onto your butt you make out to a thumping electronic beat feeling his rod harden against your flat stomach as you kiss god look how she's fallen asleep already she hates this s*** let's go he shouts in your ear when you break apart and he leads you hand in hand up into the barmy night air and back to your hotel room dancing on blint is my aesthetic perfection cover band yes yes there needs to be an option for liquid latex you walk through the hotel like colleagues but james is all over you the second you're back in your hotel room you pull off his tuxedo jacket and he peels you out of your dress and then you're on your back on your big soft bed and he's on top of you kissing you hungrily he has beautiful green eyes the same shade is yours well fuck you man because my eyes are jade i selected jade as my eye colour so fuck you green eyes get it right yes pounding pounding techno music drugs dirty dancing and pounding techno music right kissing me hungrily oh s*** f***ing he's getting into the hot zone james is large rubber encased dick if this isn't the sexiest thing i've ever read james is large rubber encased dick thrust powerfully inside you as he makes love to you making you feel totally empty then totally full as he moves bringing you to a trembling surprisingly powerful orgasm before his thick dick twitches inside you filling the condom he falls asleep in your arms he's sculpted naked body sprawled poetically on your bed you wonder if this is going to be awkward in the morning as you drift asleep f*** sake oh jesus christ dick is my metallica cover band yes yes oh f*** me i haven't had this much fun in a long long time okay right you want to so drift asleep you're waking from a sexy dream your room is totally do we not get details on the sexy dream okay um yeah how'd you sprawl poetically i don't know add extra syllables um your room is totally dark and as you swim back to consciousness you realize that james is f***ing you again come on dude did you not see the f***ing video about making a cup of tea right you know how that s*** works you know just because i said yes the night before come on man come on you reach up and stroke his powerful body as his cock moves rhythmically inside you he comes inside you dude f*** f*** sake man james what the f*** f***ing hell f***ing livid with you james you f***ing cunt why while you're brushing your teeth you've got a decision to make i assume this is how all girls decide whether or not they're going to enter a serious relationship with some dude that f***ing came inside them after after banging them once jesus i you know what i after i kind of want to break it off with him that's going to make things kind of difficult at work though you know oh f***ing hell man this is this is a difficult decision yeah i can't at that it's just a betrayal of trust james you know i don't know why you're f***ing smiling kathryn over breakfast you tell james that last night was fun but it was also a one-off it seems disappointing it tells you that he really likes you and understands the date in this boss because yeah date in your boss f***ing coming inside your boss it's it that's going to cause more problems don't you think oh and he gets into a relationship with a stunning turkish girl in her late teens what kind of a sexual predator is this guy i suppose it's actually it's a febophilia right you're right i'm a glowing appraisal when his internship is over i mean i hope i was on some sort of birth control here again i only get 40 percent kissing experience there oh s*** i got a ton of persuade though that would have been useful at university wouldn't it oh god do you know what i'm so done with all of these relationships can i just have five 41 okay what have we got here um okay contemporary artist that's that's more than one night stand right um but again it was it was blowy's only man brian expert english teacher uh one night stand oral only i can't even pronounce that name ballet dancer though yep ballet dancer he goes all the way why why can i only have a one night stand with memet uh suzer one night stand as well jesus christ this is do not i do not like it sam i am uh right now now i am almost i'm almost at the right age now um look i'm age 29 and i said i was going to be 30 um so last year the islamic state referred to as isil am i gonna i've got sunglasses on that oh check out my f***ing badass flak jacket there right do you know what i'm i'm gonna save my game here let's go to saves let's save my game did did that actually save yes yes it did um age 29 for the next two what save to disk i'll i'll save save that file there we go yeah no so i'm just gonna i'm gonna sort of like wind this up here by first of all apologizing again um i had no idea the usb stick uh insertion um would be a would be a thing um i mean i i really didn't know what to expect when i got into this um i don't i don't really know what to say um i've i've been playing for three hours and i'm not even at the point where the game has actually started this all seems to be background stuff um i think this the game was definitely made by someone who has rarely encountered women um it's i mean i don't know if i'm still just creating the character or i mean i created the character i've been through the whole like from from age nothing all the way up to age 29 but i said that age 30 was going to be the the sort of the the point the the point where i'd start and i haven't got there yet let's have a look at my let's have a look at my character sheet right um my skills i mean i've got i've got a fair amount of skills uh i've got a plus two sucking cock that's that's got to be worth something right i still don't know what rti oh rti is resistance to interrogation uh oh megan you missed a hell of a lot in the in the three hours you're you you've missed an awful lot um you you missed the whole usb thing you missed you missed the whole usb thing although they think that's that's probably for the best that was a sad that was a sad time wasn't it um look my persuasion is three now um i've also had 35 sexual partners um in in that time um so yeah so um maybe i'll do a second maybe i'll do a second stream where we actually get into the fucking game um at some point uh but i think i think this is um no 35 30 i mean it was three hours of game time uh but it was like 10 10 years of um i mean i i for the most part i selected the minimum number but it was like how many casual relationships are you going to have in this year and like the minimum number you can select is like five so but it all gives me xp but i never really i never really found out about that um i never found out about what the xp actually does for you i mean look look at the let's just go back to the character sheet right we've seen we've seen situations where um persuasion um persuasion came in because remember um i tried to convince the um the guy the the the lecturer at university to let me suck his dick in order for a higher grade and because i had a low persuasion skill i wasn't able to do that um but i i feel like a lot of these skills don't really do it and look i've got i've got all of these sexual skills but they don't seem to do anything at all there there's been very few actual um there's been very few actual like choices for me to make in the game so far um the worst the worst was the usb choice um the worst it was the usb choice i can still see it in my mind um but hey ho so so i've got my i've got my game saved um well i mean i'm still i'm still not i'm still only age 29 um i've got one year to go um i don't know maybe maybe look let's let's is this going to make any if i am i going to get through this whole year feel terrible when you first lose an agent but pete i don't know if pete's still there in the chat and sas sergeant notices your moon tells you you know i'm not i'm not going to carry on this now i've done i've done i'm done i'm done for this evening okay uh thanks for tuning in i hope it hasn't been a too traumatic an experience for you hope you've enjoyed it and i hope this is helping uh to make your um your quarantine sessions your your your your lockdown a little bit more tolerable um uh yeah hot zone hot zone is my nickname now uh so um at some point when i have when i've recovered enough mental fortitude to um to continue with this um i will uh i will i will do a part two if there's if there's demand for a part two okay um so that's that's that's that bye everybody