 Hi, welcome to Head vs. Heart, a new take on advice columns where I give out two responses to a question, one from the head, one from the heart, and then you guys at home become the judge and the jury and you vote on which is the better response. This week's question. My boyfriend and I have been dating for three years and moving together a year ago. Everything has been going copacetic except for oral sex. Since we live together, the pressure to do it is non-stop. We still have a decent sex life, but the other day he actually fixed his mouth to ask me if it was okay to hire someone to give him oral sex. What should I do? Help him through his sickness or get the hell away from him. You need to get away. Ladies first, please. Thank you. This situation sounds to me like it's a whole lot less about oral sex and a whole lot more about control. Now when in a relationship, one partner becomes so obsessed with getting their way that they get tunnel vision to the point, they make their partner close up altogether. They can even recognize that they have done something wrong and come to you now with words of encouragement, support, apology, hell, even seduction. No, his ass comes to you with another objectifying, offensive, insulting suggestion. Not okay. It's not that serious. Not that serious. They are in a live-in relationship and he is not emotionally mature enough to see that his obsession with having his woman submit is the issue. Speaking of submitting, I'm pretty sure it's my turn to talk. Both you and her are thinking away too deep into this. Now this is a classic case of a simple man thinking about things in a very simple-ass way. Your boyfriend enjoys head. I can relate. I also enjoy oral sex. Now you admittedly don't like to give it and further to the point, you don't do it that often. So even when you do do it, you probably aren't the most enthusiastic team player in that regard. So he's bringing up an issue that's been bothering him. He likes something. You don't like it. He's trying to make some type of resolution towards it. And as far as he can tell, the more that he talks about it, the less head he seems to be getting. And his brain is like, let's switch to Plan B. And Plan B is, let me not go cheat. Let me not go behind your back. Let me not lie. Let me hire and just bring somebody into the house to help out a bit and get some reinforcements to do something that you don't even want to do in the first place. Now you're really going to sit here and proclaim that it's this big innocent thing as if asking to hire a prostitute is the exact same thing as hiring a Molly maid to clean the upper cabinet that you can't reach. This reaction that you had to his question could not have come as a surprise to him. If he's lived with you for three years, he knows you'll have to know that this was going to offend you to the core. This is not a dictatorship. It is a partnership. In a partnership needs and fulfillment has to be a mutual thing that you guys come to together. And if somebody's at a point now where they feel like their needs are so important that they're ready to pay and go outside of the relationship for them, then there is no relationship, not with a person like that. Three out of five men in a relationship site, they don't get enough oral sex. Now some are able to go quietly into the night and all, yes, dear, it's okay, dear. Don't worry, dear, as long as you're happy, dear, happy wife, happy life and others aren't really able to do so and appreciate that's pretty much all that might be going on here. No Jedi mind tricks, just somebody who has a hobby and wants to find somebody who's willing to play with them. To me, you have two clear options. One, you're either going to step up your game and, you know, get into the head game or two, you're going to accept the fact that you may have to get somebody else in the situation to do something that again, you don't even really want to do. But you know what? I don't think you've exhausted all options. I get it. It's not always the most fun, awesome thing to do, but there are things you could do to make it more interesting for yourself. You can add flavored oils, flavored looms, flavored condoms. You can bring food into the mix. You could try using your hands so you don't have to go and necessarily add deep and engage your gag reflexes constantly. You can play with corn starch syrup, which is totally safe as well, too, if you're going to have sex afterwards. I think that you're the one who's actually missing the point. You can also use cock rings, fluffers, binders, blindfolds. You can try different cool techniques. I'm done with you for the day. A lot of stuff that you could do to get into the head game. Honestly, I'm seriously taxed out. You're not making any sense whatsoever. It really is about finding something. All right. So in other news, last week's questioner wrote in a really awesome letter. I wanted to shout out Javon Dallas, Sabrina Simmons and Breed Ourself for their awesome advice they gave. So please leave your comments below. It definitely does help. Great. Great. We're trying to get some solid advice and we're trying to do a fashion show. That's super mature right now. Super mature. Yeah. You go on with that. I'm going to ask you guys for your advice now. Is it head, pun intended, or heart?