 The following containment procedure was unanimously approved by Site Director's Executive Committee of the Whole and the O5 Council. Item number SCP-001 Object Class, Thaumiel, Subjective Assessment Special containment procedures. It was the unanimous subjective opinion of the Site Director's Executive Committee of the Whole on May 3rd, 2000, that the SCP-001 database entry slot should be locked to edits and only made available for modification with seven private keys belonging to members of the O5 Council. It was the majority subjective opinion of S-D-E-C-O-T-W that the object believed to have been most recently designated SCP-001 should no longer be given an SCP designation and should be stored in a standard high-value containment locker in Site-19. It was the unanimous opinion of S-D-E-C-O-T-W that no objective claims or statements should be made in the main SCP-001 page of the Foundation database under any circumstances, only verifiably true records of the opinions of Foundation governing bodies in the past. It was the majority opinion of the O5 Council on May 3rd, 2000, that in the event that entity Thaumiel, Dr. Mary Nakayama, or any entity claiming to be either makes contact with the SCP Foundation, they will be referred to the O5 Council for negotiation and cooperation. It was the majority opinion of the O5 Council that no efforts will be made at this time to neutralize entity Thaumiel or the vulnerabilities of the SCP-001 database position. It was the unanimous opinion of S-D-E-C-O-T-W and the O5 Council on May 3rd, 2000, that any statement of fact made on the specific SCP Foundation database page Procedure 001-SCP-001 becomes objectively true. The prior unanimous opinion of S-D-E-C-O-T-W and the O5 Council holds that modifications to this page have vast and potentially infinite category ALEF room, greatest concern, reality modification consequences. The prior unanimous opinion of S-D-E-C-O-T-W and the O5 Council held that no further testing on these effects is to occur due to the potential X-K, C-K, L-K, V-K, Z-K, Gamma-K class scenarios believed to be highly probable with said testing. It was the unanimous opinion of S-D-E-C-O-T-W that other pages within the Procedure 001 portion of the Foundation database have no anomalous effects, and that prior versions of the SCP-001 database, leading to the believed discovery of SCP-001's effects and the possible creation of entity Thaumiel, are to be stored as subpages in this directory for reference. It was the unanimous opinion of S-D-E-C-O-T-W that all blank spots on the Foundation database shall be checked for further Category ALEF room reality modification anomalies, that only a series of 1,000 thoroughly checked database spots shall be available to Foundation personnel for the designation of new special containment procedures at any given time. Foundation Database Change Log, February 18th, 2004. Creating new SCP documentation. Trying it in the wrong slot, but the object's effects might move it over to 001. Let the admins unlock the empty 001 slot. Why was it empty? Convenient, I guess. Just in case. M. Nakayama. Dr. Nakayama's entry on SCP-001. Item number, SCP-001. Object Class, Safe. Special Containment Procedures. SCP-001 is to be kept in a standard low-value containment locker at Site-91A. Additional research into SCP-001's effects will be the responsibility of Site-91A Chief Numerologist Dr. Mary Nakayama. Description, SCP-001 is a vinyl record containing Esquivel's 1958 album Exploring New Sounds and Stereo, RCA. The album has an anomalous impact on digital numerical lists that contain it. The album, when listed in text saved digitally, will always be listed first, even if it was intended to be listed in another position. This effect spreads to all forms of digital storage. Affected devices have thus far included consumer-grade computers, mobile telephones, and graphing calculators. Mechanical storage devices, writing, and physical representations of lists are not changed by SCP-001's anomalous properties. SCP-001 was sent to Billboard Magazine as a review copy prior to its release in 1958. Its effects were not noticed until December 2000, when Billboard interned MS, tasked with updating the manual files of review albums and magazine headquarters to a database format, noted SCP-001's effects and reported it to superiors. Original suspicions of cybercrime attracted the interest of the FBI. Embedded UIU agents in the FBI's cybercrime division turned over the object to Foundation custody after discovery. Experts to locate the RCA employee or employees responsible for sending SCP-001 to Billboard are ongoing. Primary containment theory currently holds that SCP-001 was a crude attempt to manipulate Billboard's album rankings, which failed due to the manual typesetting in use by the magazine at the time. End of file. Foundation database changelog, February 18th, 2008. Yep, moved right over. Weird. Funny. Going to look into this more might be some potential here. Also, fixed a typo thanks to Dr. Amarales. M. Nakayama. April 1st, 2008. Important one-day revision to containment procedures. M. Nakayama. The following sentence has been added to SCP-001's special containment procedures by Dr. Nakayama. All level 2 researchers in Site-91A shall give Dr. Nakayama $5, if possible, over her lunch break on April 1st, 2008. Foundation database changelog, April 1st, 2008. What the f**k, what the f**k, what the f**k M. Nakayama. The previous revision of special containment procedures made by Dr. Nakayama has been struck through. Foundation database changelog, April 1st, 2008. Testing something. M. Nakayama. The following sentence has been added to SCP-001's special containment procedures. Dr. Nakayama's desk nameplate is colored green for easy identification. Foundation database changelog, April 2nd, 2008. Making a note about my availability. M. Nakayama. The previous entry made by Dr. Nakayama has been struck through, and the following sentence has been added to SCP-001's special containment procedures. Personnel are advised that Dr. Nakayama will be likely unavailable until April 9th, 2008, as she has been granted paid vacation days by Site Director Green for this time span. Foundation database changelog, April 9th, 2008. Noting upcoming title change, M. Nakayama. The previous entry made by Dr. Nakayama, as well as the words Site-91A Chief Numerologist have been struck through, and the following sentence has been added to SCP-001's special containment procedures. Dr. Nakayama, Chief Numerologist at Site-91A until April 9th, will be promoted to Site Co-Director alongside Dr. Green at noon on April 9th. She will retain sole responsibility over SCP-001. Foundation database changelog, May 3rd, 2008. Well, this works like I think it does. I've thought this over for weeks. It's time. I've locked the page down to everyone but myself in 05s. I think I'm doing the right thing. I really do think I am. Pray for me. M. Nakayama. Apart from the words item number SCP-001, the entire original text written by Dr. Nakayama, including all subsequent revisions, has been struck through, and a new entry has been made by Dr. Nakayama, which states, Mary Nakayama, immediately after the saving of this document, will attain omnipotence and omniscience, rising to and becoming Godhead. She will span all time and have complete dominion over this universe and this reality. Everything, everything under everything and everything over everything, will be at her command. She will gain all necessary mental faculties to process and utilize these abilities while maintaining uninterrupted consciousness. Members of the 05 Council will receive a note indicating the nature of SCP-001. Her family will receive a note indicating her love for them. Mary Nakayama disappeared from her quarters at Site-91A before 6am on May 3rd. She has not been located since. The following document was saved on Mary Nakayama's computer the morning of May 3rd, 2008 to the 05 Council. When I was 15, I took enough pills to kill someone four times my size, downed with an entire bottle of cheap vodka that was the only thing I had left from the man who used me and left me broken and alone. I sat in my shower with the hot water scalding me, I closed my eyes. When I opened them, I was dry, I was well, I was in bed. At the door, a shining figure, a radiant light, hovered. It spoke to me with a voice that echoed in my mind, only. It said I had greater things to do. I never saw it again, but I kept going. I believed that God descended and saved me. And joining the foundation, how could I not believe? What else could explain the fact that we were still here? Still marvelously desperately screamingly alive? How else could the fabric of our world? Our everything withstands such things that we behold every day. Something was protecting us. I prayed to it every night for guidance. I never heard its voice again. I have been touched by God once, and that was a lifetime of fortune in one moment. But when I changed the color of the nameplate on my desk just by hitting save on a text file, I realized something. The fabric of all things was open to me. I could put this power away, show you, conceal it, but what if this was what saved me? What if this was what saves us all, every day, from the abyssal terrors that rip and rend at our world's fragile stability? What if me hitting save on a text file was the birth of God? If it's not, then I tried. If it is, then I am watching. I will try to steer things right. It will take time. Wish me luck. MN. Lesson complete. To continue with your orientation training, subscribe to SCP Orientation right now, or watch these playlists.