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Jeff Winger Makes A Lot of Speeches

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Uploaded on Apr 30, 2011

We've known each other for almost two years now. And yeah, in that time, I've given a lot of speeches. But they all have one thing in common: They're all different. These drug runners aren't going to execute Pierce because he's racist! It's a locomotive that runs on us. And the only sharks in that water, are the emotional ghosts that I like to call FEAR, anchovies, FEAR and the dangers of ingesting mercury! Because the real bugs aren't the ones in those beds. And there's no such a thing as a free Caesar salad, and even if there were, The Cape still might find a second life on cable. And I'll tell you why: El corazón del agua es verdad. That water is A LIE! Harrison Ford is radiating our testicles with microwave satellite transmissions! So maybe we are caught in an endless cycle of screw-ups and hurt feelings, but I choose to believe it's just the universe's way of molding us into some kind of super group..

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