 March of events and city life section of our newspaper this section appears in Hearst Sunday newspaper throughout the country and presents an all-star lineup of American humorists Will Rogers, Arthur Bugsbear, Milt Gross, OO McIntyre, Sam Hellman, not to mention the gay sparkling cartoons drawn especially for this section by the foremost comic artist. Here we go and let the last fall March of events and city life section we find a cartoon showing a pretty young girl entertaining a very distinguished-looking visitor. Unless my eyes deceive me he seems to be an army officer of high rank. Are you quite sure you aren't getting bored? Why major, how could you say such a thing? You don't know what it means to a poor weak little girl like me to meet a big brave man like you. Oh I have gotten around a bit I suppose but it's all in a day's work. And just look at all those beautiful medals you have all over your chest too. Where ever did you get them? Oh they're not half of what I have at home, not half. I like that big one there with the ribbon on it. Where'd you get that one major? Oh I had a bit of a run-in with the riffs down in Africa. I managed to come out top dog and that decoration followed. And where did you get that one? Let me see. Oh that one came after a tassel with the belly tribesmen in Arabia. I showed them what was what and had that medal pinned on me. I think you're perfectly marvelous major Lee. And look, there's one that looks terribly important. What'd you do to get that one? Oh, that one? Yes, oh please tell me all about it please. You know, I don't think I can quite remember. Oh do try to remember. I'm simply dying to know. Wouldn't you rather hear about some of the others? Oh no please major Lee, don't put me off like that. I can't wait till I know what you did doing that beautiful decoration. No, you're quite certain you won't know. Oh yes major Lee, I'm just crazy to know about it. Well as a matter of fact, I wanted to know Kratke. All aboard Club Call Special, next stop OO McIntyre, all aboard. OO McIntyre, whose column is an exclusive feature of the Hearst Sunday newspapers, spends much of his time prowling along Broadway, picking up interesting side lights on this world famous thoroughfare. The following episode is one that McIntyre reported very recently. The scene is backstage at a current theatrical hit. Manager of this theater. I can that he's in his office and furthermore he's a busy man. I'd like very much to see him if I could. Does he know you? Well as a matter of fact I'm a total stranger to him, but I'll only take a minute of his time. I don't think he'll see you. You better phone him and make an appointment. I can't do that. I'm going out of town on a business trip in the morning and this is the last chance I'll have to see him. Well wait a minute and I'll see what I can do for you. Oh thanks, that's well of you. This is office right here. I'd go to knock them. Oh maybe I'd better knock first. Come in. Please sir, but there's the man outside wants to see you. Tell him to come back tomorrow. Well you see he's live in town tomorrow and he wants to see you now. Is it important? I kind of think it is the way he talks. All right, I can give him just two minutes. All right, I'll get him. He's right outside the door here. Hey mister, come on, he says he'll see you. Come in. Say, that's great. Wow. What did you want to see me about, sir? Well I seen your show yesterday and there's something that's been bothering me ever since. What was that? It's about that part where them people are supposed to be eating them raw turnips. You know how they go around chewing on them raw turnips? Yes, yes. What about it? Well I've been wondering what they use for turnips. What do they use? They use turnips. You mean they use real turnips? Yes, real turnips. Real turnips. Gosh, I never thought of that. Oh boy, Club Car Special. Next stop, Arthur Bugs Bear. Oh boy. His Arthur Bugs Bear writes about a place called Rufftown and as the name implies, it's plenty rough. But in spite of the extraordinary hardy-hood of its natives, the local hospital occasionally gets a customer. As a matter of fact, they are just bringing a case into the emergency ward at the present moment. So let's run over and see what it's all about. Bad shape. Okay, you'll watch your end of the stretcher and I'll watch mine. All right, let's go. Okay. There's Doc. Stitch him now. Hey, Doc. Yeah, what do you got there? It's Major Ruff. He's unconscious. That's nothing new. What are you bringing him in here for? Well, he's a little more unconscious than usual this time. We found him lying over in front of a city hall, frozen stiff. Couldn't take it, eh? This cold weather was too much for him. I guess so, Doc. Well, we put him. Oh, I just sent him down. I'll look him over. Okay, Doc. Boy, he is frozen stiff. Wonder how it happened. I guess it's all on account of Testy Tessie. What a Testy Tessie have to do with it. Well, you know she's in love again, don't you? Yeah, everybody knows that. You know how she's always picking daisies and playing, he loves me, he loves me not? Yeah. Well, you can't get daisies in the winter time, so she used a major's raccoon coat. He's keenly interested in aviation and follows all the latest developments in airplane design. He tells the story of two men who just visited an aviation field and were discussing the various kinds of planes they had seen. Here's their conversation. Plan sure are, honey. Just like traveling on a railroad. Yep, couldn't make you any more comfortable in a hotel. That's right. Say, there's the one that has me stopped. Which one is that? The one that has the wings under the window there. Oh, that's a very latest thing. This is the last word in passenger planes. But what's the purpose of having those wings right under the windows? Well, that's to meet the super service that hotels and railroads are handing out. What do you mean super service? Well, when you look out of the window of a modern hotel, there's often a big electric sign to hide the view, right? Yeah. And on a railroad, there's always a freight train passing to cut off the scenery. That's right. Well, these wings do the same thing when you look down out of the plane. Super service, boy. The newspapers has a wife who doesn't trust him. In fact, today she has dropped in on a neighbor, Mrs. Moriarty. She and Mrs. Moriarty are comparing notes on their respective mates. Let's listen in. And what is Jobe doing now, Mrs. Run? That's just the trouble. I can't find out. Have you any suspicions? Well, he's acting very strange. Strange? Is it? What's he doing? Well, for one thing, the last three mornings, Joey actually kissed me before going to the train. Wish now. You can't mean it. That looks bad. And on top of that, last night at dinner without my saying a word, mind you, he asked me what we were going to give my mother for her birthday. Glory be. No wonder you're worried. Mm-hmm. Haven't I always said, all men are dogs? Whenever they start with their prolavorin in high manners, watch out for some kind of a scheme that they've got up their sleeves. That's just what I'm afraid of, Mrs. Moriarty. Sure. And didn't I have the same trouble with me, Pat? All of a sudden, he got doing a little queer thing, like carrying coal up from the cellar and helping me with the dishes. You don't mean it. That, I do, my darling. And give it a bit, could I find out what was back of it all? Until one day, I discovered himself was red conscious. Red conscious? Yes. And what else could it be? Wearing red ties, red pancaches, red so... Well, what was it all about, huh? Well, I did a bit of thinking, myself smiling at the rogue all the time. And one day, I got a hug. Yeah? So the first time Pat took the car out, Sanny had to run down to see his sister. I snaked out ahead of him and hid in a rumble state. My house, really? Oh, tell me, Mrs. Moriarty, what happened, huh? Well, nothing happened until he got to the park and then he stops. And a couple of minutes later, some hussy comes along and gets in beside him. And off we start. So I opened the rumble state a bit. And sure enough, her head is red. I see. Pat had gone red-head, can't it, huh? Well, what did you do? I just raged out with a piece of gas pipe and made him red-head unconscious. Car special comes to another stop. You've been listening to Fun and Nonsense by the foremost writers of humor. But you can continue the program if you wish right in your own home by securing a copy of the Hearst Sunday newspaper and by reading the March of Events and City Life section. There you will find long articles by such famous authors as Will Rogers, O. O. McIntyre, Bugs Bear, Milfgrove, Sam Hellman, and others. No other newspaper has such an imposing array of names so prominently identified with the comedy world. Look and laugh at the comical cartoons also. The club car special is scheduled to arrive at your home next week at the same time over the same station. Don't be late for this comedy train. You are assured of another 15 minutes of Fun and Nonsense.