 But here we are, 1 Thessalonians chapter 2. We're going to be looking today at verses 1 through 12. And it's an exhortation here from the apostle Paul for us to walk worthy of the gospel of Jesus Christ. And so beginning at verse 1 and reading to verse 12, Paul writes, for you yourselves know, brethren, that our coming to you was not in vain. But even after we had suffered before and were spitefully treated at Philippi, as you know, we were bold in our God to speak to you, the gospel of God, in much conflict. For our exhortation did not come from error or uncleanness, nor was it in deceit. But as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, even so we speak, not as pleasing men but God who tests our hearts. For neither at any time did we use flattering words, as you know, nor a cloak for covetousness, God is witness, nor did we seek glory from men either from you or from others when we might have made demands as apostles of Christ. But we were gentle among you, just as a nursing mother cherishes her own children. So affectionately longing for you, we were well pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God but also our own lives because you had become dear to us. For you remember, brethren, our labor and toil for laboring night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you, we preach to you the gospel of God. You are witnesses and God also, how devoutly and justly and blamelessly we behaved ourselves among you who believe. As you know how we exhorted and comforted and charged every one of you, as a father does his own children, that you would walk worthy of God who calls you into his own kingdom and glory. I'm writing this, he says, that you would walk worthy of God, the one who has called you into his own glory and kingdom. And so as we begin here, we'll begin at verse one as normal. It seems that Paul is, to give you context, it seems that Paul is coming under attack by infiltrators. You need to remember that in the early church, the gospel went forth and as the gospel was going forth, there were those who began to try to undermine its message, add to it, subtract from it, and they would enter into churches and they would bring a message that was contrary to the one that had been received by those that Paul and others had ministered to. And it would seem that now Paul is coming under attack here in the church of Thessalonica. That would explain why he would begin this portion of the letter in the way that he has. So to combat this, he is appealing to the Thessalonians personal experience with him. He has said to them, you yourselves know. So when he says you yourselves know, Paul is drawing a contrast between them, the Thessalonians and the others who are coming in amongst them. What it's doing, it's reminding his readers of his relationship with them and it's reminding them of his ministry to them. When you remember chapter one, remember with me, verse five, how that he had stated that he consistently lived a life of faith amongst them. In chapter one, verse five, he said, as you know what kind of meant we were among you for your sake. So he used his life as an example of genuine Christian faith because he loved them. So by way of application, even as I begin, pastors need to remember that their lives are models of faith for other believers. And when a pastor fails to live properly, he undermines the faith of other believers in the church. When somebody in the church sees a pastor not living up to the message, it stumbles that person and therefore Paul could point to himself and Paul could say, you know the way that I lived, the manner of life I always lived, I consistently lived amongst you. And so he consistently was faithful and therefore he earned their respect. And as a result, according to verse six, they had become followers of him as well as the Lord. So they could use him and other believers as models for Christian faith. Now, when he says that you've seen the way I've lived, what he's saying basically is now used in a theological way. It's referred to as incarnating the message. He's saying, I lived out what I was giving out. Imitation is a foundational way of teaching people how to live for the Lord. We learn by imitation. You know, you can read a lot of books about how to live for Christ. And it can tell you how to do certain things. But you learn how to pray by being with people who pray. You learn how to read the word of God. By being with people who like God's word, you learn how to witness by being around people who like to share their faith. You learn how to do these things because there are others who are modeling faith for you. And that's how it works. You learn what fellowship is when you have friends who are believers and who like to get together. And so Paul said, you can use me as an example. I'm encouraging you to use me as an example as a matter of fact. When he was writing to the Corinthians in 1 Corinthians chapter 11 verse one, he simply said this to them. He said to the Corinthian church, imitate me just as I also imitate Christ. You can use me as a model. The word imitate means to mimic. Use me as a pattern is what he was saying. In Philippians chapter three, verse 17, he said to the church of Philippi, brother and join in following my example and note those who so walk as you have us for a pattern. And so Paul is pointing back to his own life and he's saying to the Thessalonians, I have credibility amongst you because you've seen the way that I live. And so that highlights the role of a minister of the gospel. A minister of the gospel literally embodies the message of the gospel. So the fact is his faith was on display before them and they could see its reality. His works lined up with the words that he shared with other people. He loved God. He loved people. He lived a morally pure life. He obeyed God. He loved the word of God. He shared the message of the gospel. He encouraged others to walk worthy of the gospel. So he's saying, I can be a model because of the way I've always and consistently lived amongst you. And he brings up his ministry fruit amongst them because they are bearing fruit. They are reproducing their new believers in other words being added. They're growing, they're flourishing even though they're going through times of affliction. And so that is evidence that he's teaching them the truth. Their lives are filled with zeal. Their lives are filled with endurance. Even though they're going through hardship and they're living with anticipation, he says in verse eight from you the word of the Lord had sounded forth. And so they're an evangelizing church and he commends them for it. They're evangelizing surrounding areas. And in chapter one, verse nine, he said, you've become examples of believers, two believers in Macedonia and Ikea. You're no longer idolaters like the majority of the people who live in that area. You worship the true and living God. And that flies in the face of pagan culture. And not only that he had said in verse 10, he says, you're waiting. You're waiting for his son from heaven whom he raised from the dead, even Jesus who delivers us from the wrath to come. See Jesus and the hope of heaven as motivated the way that you live. Just the idea that one of these days you'll see him face to face. Even though you haven't seen him, yet you still love him. And even though you didn't hear him personally as he spoke the words of the gospel, you've received the preaching of the gospel and understood that that message originated with him. And it's caused you to have a desire to be with him. Not only that, it's also giving you the hope of heaven because one day as you close your eyes here, you will open them up there. And that has caused you to have great joy and it's given you strength to go through the tough times that you're going through. When he was writing to the Philippians in chapter three, verse 20, Paul said, our citizenship is in heaven from which we also eagerly wait for the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. In the Old Testament book of Job in chapter 19, verses 25 through 27, he said, I know that my Redeemer lives. He shall stand at last on the earth. And after my skin is destroyed, this I know that in my flesh I shall see God, whom I shall see for myself and my eyes shall behold. And not another. And he went on to say, how my heart yearns within me. Well, the Thessalonians had that desire. They wanted to be with the Lord Jesus Christ. Yet at the same time, there are those who are infiltrating the church and are bringing confusion to the members. And so what Paul has to do is he has to deal with this. And the way he does is by refreshing their memories of him and his ministry to them. These are people who are saved that he's writing to. And Paul is calling them to remember how they were saved. They were saved because Paul came and preached the gospel to them. The fact that a church exists there in Thessalonica is evidence that God is using Paul. And that's what he's saying in verse one of chapter two here in First Thessalonians when he says, for you yourselves know, brethren, that our coming to you was not in vain. There is fruit amongst you. You know that our coming to you produced a church. And the fact that a church exists is evidence that God used me. And so they're saved. And Paul is reminding them how they got saved. They got saved through his ministry, which would commend him to them. In the early history of the church, they had letters of recommendation because the gospel was spreading and churches were being planted. False teachers began to be aware of that and they would actually infiltrate. They would go to church services and they would present themselves as believers. And then they would bring into that church their own philosophy, their own belief system. And they were actually undermining the faith of people. And so you were not to welcome in somebody into the church without a letter of recommendation. Now, when the apostle Paul had gone into the church in Corinth, he had planted the church and there was already infiltration taking place. And in the first letter of the Corinthians in chapter four, Paul had said, though you may have 10,000 teachers, yet you have but one father, I begot you in the gospel. And so Paul was saying to them, listen, there are people who are infiltrating, people who are coming in, people who are influencing you, people who are coming in and talking about God. And you may have 10,000 different people who walk in and with their opinions and the things that they have to say, they want to be your teacher, but I need to remind you that I was good enough to bring the gospel to you and I'm good enough to continue raising you in it so that you may know the truth. And so he spoke concerning this. And what happened is a continuation of infiltration occurred. And by the time you get into second Corinthians, Paul actually has to respond to some 24 different accusations that have been lodged against him by false teachers. And the Corinthians are beginning to embrace the things that are being said because there's a basic truism. If you can undermine the ministry of the pastor, you can undermine the ministry of the church. If you bring an attack on the pastor, then you can undermine the faith that the people have that he's presented the truth to them, you can take that church over. That's a basic truism because if you divide a house, it cannot stand. And so they would come after the apostle Paul who had planted the church. And they were saying concerning him, where are his letters of recommendation? Paul was not an original member of the 12 apostles. How did he come into being an apostle and why should you listen to him? Where are his letters of recommendation? And that's what you see in second Corinthians as one of the charges. But in second Corinthians, Paul said it like this in chapter three, verse two, when he spoke to them, he said, you are our epistle written in our hearts known and read by all men. I don't need a letter of recommendation because the fact that a church exists and that you're going in your faith and the knowledge of God should demonstrate that I have letters of recommendation and they are you yourself. And so what's taking place here in the Thessalonians churches are people infiltrating, calling into question his ministry and Paul is now reinforcing his credentials. And as you're gonna see, he's gonna be like a loving and protective parent and he's guarding his relationship with them. And so he refers to events that serve to reinforce his ministry credibility. So here's a basic application. If you want to be used by the Lord, you will need to have credibility. There are great numbers of people who desire to be teachers of the word who have absolutely no credibility. They have not done anything other than Google or Assyria. That's where they're getting their information. They've never taught a single Bible study. They've never done counseling. They've never studied. They've never done any of that. And you know, what they do is they go online. They'll go on Facebook or though, whatever and they find a way in social media to put their thoughts and ideas out. And if you have a question and you ask them, where did you get that? They'll just send you a link as if that link is the answer to their question. That's taken place now. They are people with no credibility. They have no experience. They have no knowledge of these things. They've sat in Bible studies. They've listened to others preach. But that Bible study that took 45 minutes took hours to prepare. They're receiving a condensed version of the study time every time they receive a Bible study. But they believe themselves to have the knowledge of the individual who is preaching that message having never studied themselves. And so what Paul is doing is he's establishing his credibility and he's making it very clear that he has a reasonableness. There's a reasonableness in them listening to him. And what is it that reinforced and established his credibility? He's about to speak about it right now. Notice verse two. He says, even after we had suffered before and were spitefully treated at Philippi, as you know, we were bold in our God to speak to you the gospel of God in much conflict. He alludes to something they were familiar with. He's saying, I paid a price for my faith in Jesus. I've gone through trials and I've gone through afflictions and you're aware of them. You see, as partakers of his ministry, they were well aware of his ministry trials and afflictions. When you read the Bible and you're looking at the book of Acts in chapter 16, if you read verses 16 through 39 in the book of Acts chapter 16, those verses record that Paul and Silas were ministering in a city called Philippi. There was a demonized soothsayer who had been delivered. And because it had taken place, that resulted in physical beating by a mob for Paul and Silas. Then they were falsely imprisoned. There were unjust accusations made against him and an illegal punishment in spite of their Roman citizenship. And those events were well known by the Thessalonians. So he's saying, you're not the only ones who have suffered affliction for your faith in Jesus. Paul is saying, I and Silas have too. Paul suffered for his faith in Jesus and remained faithful to Jesus. You see, shortly after he had had that occur in Philippi, Paul and Silas came to Thessalonica and what did he do when he arrived? Well, he says it to us in verse two. He says, even after we had suffered before and respectfully treated at Philippi, as you know, we were bold in our God to speak to you, the gospel of God in much conflict. You're well aware of what had taken place, but you also know what we did. We were bold in our God to speak to you, the gospel of God in much conflict. Instead of becoming silent about Jesus, we came to Thessalonica and we preached him. Acts 17, verse five tells us that a mob was gathered and they set the city in an uproar. Instead of being silent, we continued preaching even though resistance was great. He's saying, we were bold in our God and we spoke the gospel to you. We were not silenced by the threats. We were not silenced by the afflictions. We weren't silenced by what we were gonna go through. We remained bold because the message was necessary to be communicated. You would be lost without it. We were bold in our God. Their faithfulness in the face of affliction and rejection is what God uses to establish their credibility. Somebody once said, every true shepherd has scars from battles and wounds they have received from wolves. And that's true. It's been said, look at your pastor's arms and you will see scars if you look closely enough and that's true. Every pastor has been wounded in spiritual battles and every pastor has been wounded from attacks from wolves. And every pastor carries with them the scars and the wounds and that should establish his credibility. There is a songwriter by the name of Amy Carmichael and I thought of this song as I was preparing this portion of our study. And Amy Carmichael wrote many, many years ago and she used King James English as she wrote her songs and all, but she wrote a song that I thought would help to highlight the point I'm making right now about scars and credibility and how credibility is established when you're out there doing the work, when you're out there in the battle, when you're out there receiving attacks. And Amy Carmichael wrote, hast thou no scar, no hidden scar on foot or side or hand. I hear these sung as mighty in the land, I hear them hail thy bright ascendant star, hast thou no scar, hast thou no wound, yet I was wounded by the archers spent, leaned me against a tree to die and rent by ravening beasts that compassed me, I swooned, hast thou no wound, no wound, no scar, yet as the master shall the servant be and pierced it are the feet that follow me, but thine are whole, can he have followed far who has no wound, nor scar. The apostle Paul was able to say, you see the wounds, you see the scars, you know of the suffering and the afflictions, you're not alone, you're not going through this by yourself, these are things that I too have shared with you and he has boldness and that's how he responded. His boldness came even though he had gone through much conflict and he had boldness because it originated in a clean conscience and a knowledge that God had tested and had trusted him. It provoked him to be faithful and to resist becoming a people pleasing preacher. There are quite a number of people who want to please others when they preach, they dilute the gospel, they change it a bit, they wanna take away the rough edges of it or the points of it that sometimes can cause some real discomfort. They wanna soothe people rather than encourage them to do the right thing and what happens is they become people pleasers and when they become people pleasers who are preaching messages to tickle people's ears, they're gonna divest the power of the gospel for convictions because let's face it, in order for me to get right with God, I need to know that I'm wrong with him and unless the word of God is communicated to me in a clear fashion so that I can see myself in the mirror of the word, then I'm really not gonna understand what salvation is or even it's necessity and I'm not gonna see the value of it and so even during the time of Paul, there were those who were changing the message, they were trying to dumb it down to dilute it so that people would receive it but Paul in Galatians chapter one verse 10 said it like this, he said, am I now trying to win the approval of men or of God or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ and so he spoke the truth and then he begins to share with them his motivation, notice in verse three, he says, our exhortation did not come from error or uncleanness nor was it in deceit but as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, even so we speak not as pleasing men but God who tests our hearts so our exhortation didn't come from error or uncleanness what is he saying? Well, he said our exhortation, the word exhortation is an appeal, it is an urgent, an urging for them to take a particular line of action so we're exhorting you, we're appealing to you to do something and so it didn't originate in error when he says our exhortation didn't come from error the word error he's saying our message isn't springing from a polluted source we're not leading anyone astray we're not giving to you a diluted message we're teaching you the truth it's like what he said to the Corinthians 1 Corinthians 2, 4, and 5 where he said my speech and my preaching were not with persuasive words of human wisdom but in demonstration of the spirit and of power that your faith should not be in the wisdom of men but in the power of God our exhortation didn't come through uncleanness when he says it didn't come through uncleanness he's saying our motives are pure we're not using you for personal financial profit we're not desiring man's honor we're not trying to become famous at your expense in 2 Corinthians 2, verse 17 he said unlike so many we do not peddle the word of God for profit on the contrary in Christ we speak before God with sincerity like men sent from God we're not using the gospel for personal gain we're not changing it corrupting it to make it more appealing we're simply preaching it as it is the word of God and we didn't use deceit the word deceit speaks of catching fish with bait we're not trapping you we're not being crafty and we haven't been hypocritical in 2 Corinthians 4, verse 2 he said we have renounced the hidden things of shame not walking in craftiness nor handling the word of God deceitfully but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God we have been approved according to verse 4 to be entrusted with the gospel we've been approved when it says we've been approved we have been recognized as genuine after examination and examination that came through testings Proverbs 17 3 says the refining pot is for silver the furnace for gold but the Lord tests the hearts and then secondly he says that we have been entrusted God has put confidence in us he's given us the most special message to mankind it's called the gospel and this has motivated us to continue living and speaking in the way that pleases him he has tried us and he has trusted us because he sees that our hearts are right with him he said in verse 5 neither at any time did we use flattering words as you know nor a cloak for covetousness God is witness not only in Thessalonica but anywhere I've gone my ministry has been done with integrity we haven't used flattering words we haven't appealed to your vanity we haven't tried to build you up so that you have some sense of importance we didn't flatter you to make you think highly of yourselves we actually spoke to you a message that brought conviction we gave to you a message that actually warns you of danger and he said in verse 5 nor a cloak for covetousness we didn't hide covetousness by appearing sincere saying what you desired for us to say you see false teachers are more concerned with finances than in spiritual health of people that's why Matthew 23 14 that's why Jesus said woe to you scribes and Pharisees hypocrites for you devour widows houses and for a pretence make long prayers therefore you will receive greater condemnation that's why Peter in 2 Peter 2 verse 3 said concerning false teachers by covetousness they will exploit you with deceptive words in verse 6 he goes on nor did we seek glory from men either from you or from others when we might have made demands as apostles of Christ I didn't use my office as a tool to gain admiration finances or personal advantages I didn't seek man's honor I didn't abuse my authority as an apostle I could have made demands I have a position I have authority but I never took advantage of you I didn't abuse my privilege I always used my authority lovingly and so I have credibility but not only that I also have compassion if you wanna be used by the Lord you need to ask the Lord not only to help establish your credibility but you need to ask the Lord to awaken you to the importance of compassion especially as you serve him notice what he says in verse 7 we were gentle among you just as a nursing mother cherishes her own children so affectionately longing for you we were well pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God but also our own lives because you had become dear to us we'll look at that for just a moment I want you to see this notice what he says in verse 8 we were affectionately longing for you notice what he said in verse 7 we were gentle among you like a nursing mother cherishes her babies I wanna develop this with you for a moment you can never minister to people you don't love that simple isn't it but it's true you can never minister to people you don't love because if you don't love them and you're trying to minister to them they see through it and they realize you're just using them for your own gain Paul said let me share with you a little bit about ministry let me share with you and there may be some in this room right now feel a call for ministry let me share this with you briefly compassion you need credibility you'll go through things tough things you'll go through the waters but they will not overcome you you'll go through the fire but you're gonna be purged but not burned you're gonna establish credibility over time and it takes time but if you don't have compassion you're not moving in the right direction compassion is a heart for people and Paul had that he is the person who cared about them and what's important to note here I want you to see this is he loved them they weren't the only ones that he loved when he was writing to the Philippians in chapter 1 verse 8 he said to the church in Philippi God is my witness how greatly I long for you all with the affection of Jesus Christ you see, compassionate love is very important and he did more than impart knowledge he also imparted his life to them I've shared with pastors at pastors conferences many times and I've shared with pastors don't just give them your notes give them your heart because they could read your notes I could distribute my notes and they can read your notes but the sheep need more than notes the sheep need a heart and Paul spoke concerning his compassion and he spoke concerning his love for them and it's very clear here he says I've yielded up my life for you you know, mamas have a tendency of yielding up their lives for their children mamas are known for laying their lives down for their babies and mamas are known for their nurturing love mamas love their children lay their lives down for them and he speaks concerning this and it's interesting how he uses this as a picture notice in verse 7 we were gentle among you just as a nursing mother cherishes her own children a nursing mother a nursing mother must be close to the child in order to nurse it and I don't know anything about nursing to be honest with you, I've never done it my wife nursed our four babies I observed that kind of relationship that she had with them I saw it and I saw that in nursing there's tenderness because of the way she would hold the baby and she would speak to the baby and often she would kiss the little baby on his or her head there was a love that you could see taking place there was patience because some of you nursing moms know how tough it can be with your baby when she just doesn't feel like drinking or whatever you know, I've told this story before it comes to mind how I was working five minutes away from where I was living Marie was when I left the home in the morning she was nursing Corinne, our firstborn and I left her in the front room there and she was on the couch and nursing Corinne I came home for lunch and when I came home for lunch at 11.30 she was still on the couch and I looked at Marie, I said, what are you doing here? She said, I can't, she won't stop nursing and she says, watch and she pulls Corinne's head away from her and all of a sudden Corinne just yells so she latches back on she goes, I've been like this for three hours I say, I'll make my own sandwich and I went, I went into the kitchen and made my lunch I went back to work I came back at four she was still nursing she was like a spider had taken all of her juices like that but she was patient I saw that in her I saw that and that bonding that does take place as they're going through that time a mama sacrifices that time she shows tenderness, she loves and not only that she protects her baby and Paul is saying, this is what I feel towards you I love you, I nurture you I care for you and protect you I want you to see something in here too though notice verse eight affectionately longing for you we were well pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God but also our own lives because you become dear to us we gave you not only the message we gave you our life we wanted to be with you we wanted to care for you we wanted to minister to you we imparted to you more than a message we incarnated that message we taught you that God loves you and we imparted that kind of love to you on a personal level I gave you not only a message I gave you my life and as he speaks about this in verse nine he says, remember brethren our labor and toil for laboring night and day that we might not be a burden to any of you we preach to you the gospel of God so he speaks of labor the word labor this there means something that is sacrificial it's something that produces hardship this labor is a word in the Greek that can speak also of grief and sorrow it can speak of troubles remember our labor he speaks of toil he said toil for a labor night and day the word toil speaks of that which is difficult and tiring it's something that can bring distress he's saying my team and I worked with our hands during the day we labored amongst you night and day so what Paul would do is they would labor with their hands during the day and they would minister to them at night because rabbis would often have trades that provided for their income and we know that according to Acts 18 verse 3 Paul was a tent maker so he worked with his hands to keep himself from the accusation of self-interest of becoming rich off of them in Acts 20 verse 34 he had said you yourselves know that these hands have provided for my necessities and for those who are with me so he didn't want to be a financial burden to them and so he says we've labored night and day that we be not a burden to you and then verse 10 you are witnesses God also how devoutly and justly and blamelessly we behaved ourselves among you who believe there may be accusations being made about me Paul is saying that you have first hand seen my life we have lived openly before you and you and God have witnesses and he speaks of the manner of life you live notice he uses the word devoutly the word devoutly speaks of a holy life it speaks of an inward character that is devout he says justly the word justly speaks of that which is upright and proper he said you saw that we live blamelessly the word blameless speaks of that which is pure correct it's a life without moral spot he said we lived out the message of the gospel and you saw we are devout you saw we're just you saw that we are blameless you saw that we're godly and this has earned your respect because we live out what we are giving out but he goes on to say in verse 11 as you know how we exhorted and comforted and charged every one of you notice as a father does his own children he exhorted you comforted you and charged every one of you like a dad I encourage you to live a godly life and I'm giving you insight into how this is done I'm explaining to you and I'm modeling to you this kind of life it's interesting that he speaks in the manner of a masculine model here notice he's speaking of a father he spoke of a mother's love and that was a picture of nurturing but notice with me that the father is instructive and what we have here is mildness and tenderness being balanced by strength and authority he's treating them like a father would treat his own children he's teaching them and treating them as a father with his own kids father's day I was reading something I'm going to read to you in just a moment father's day is losing its a bound of people who celebrate it perhaps you're aware of that times have changed over time mother's day has remained a great holiday to remember mom but father's day is diminishing it and the number of people who actually observe it and the reasons are obvious we'll look at this for just a moment but the reasons are obvious because a lot of homes don't have a dad and even though they had a dad who was physically there he was emotionally absent and so a lot of people have been raised without a real understanding of what a father is like it's interesting how the apostle Paul uses the image of a father and he actually gives us elements of what a father brought into the home he says we exhorted comforted and charged every one of you as a father does his own children that gives to us insight into what a father is to bring into the house but fathers will give in that home and I was reading about this and I was reading about some of the things related to that one of my daughters actually sent me an article and I read it just this morning and I thought I'm going to just share a couple of the things in this article with the congregation so we can speak a little bit about the father's role in some ways and this person writing the article said this fewer people are celebrating father's day than ever before a fact that may have less to do with the nature of the holiday than it does with the nature of American families a U.S. Census Bureau study found that the percentage of children living in single-parent households increased from 12% in 1960 to 31% in 2016 during that same timeframe the percentage of children living with only their mother nearly tripled studies have repeatedly shown that children who are raised with involved fathers are less likely to struggle academically repeat a grade get expelled or suspended from school and get pregnant as teenage girls researchers have recently discovered that fathers who are engaged with their kids are less likely to suffer from stress and depression and more likely to have job and relationship satisfaction and confidence in their parenting skills having an engaged father increases one's competence in a number of important areas of character development including the formation of patience, humility and selflessness for many years now and I'll say this briefly but it's true for many years now it's been said the fathers are unnecessary there are those who have said you don't really need a father all you need to do is go to a sperm bank and get a donor and you can have a child and fathers in many ways have been erased from family I'm not going to go into all the causes of that I certainly am not intended to or prepared to try and give a real thorough study on that but it's true in observation that this is happening there are numbers of people who are raised without dad many of you in this room are people that I'm referring to right now after first service before this service I had people approaching me and it was said more than once I didn't have a dad I had no father in my home some of them have said to me over the years you've taken the place as a figure of a father in my life listening to you speaking hearing the things that you say related to family and all has actually helped me to form the way that I want to be with my own family I've heard that more than once and in many ways fathers well in many ways in our society fathers seem to be forgotten but I'm here to remember you I'm here to say listen dad you're important you were important to the family you bring something to the family that is necessary you are the one who gives to the children insight into what it means to be a dad and I want you to see something here with me because he says I treated you like a father treats his own children and so what is it that he did well one he says exhorted I exhorted you the word exhorted means to admonish it speaks of encouraging the word literally speaks of calling to one side in order to encourage he says I've exhorted you to live a life that's pleasing to God I've exhorted you to live a holy life that's what we do that's what fathers do your children they need your strength they need your faith they need your encouragement they need that exhortation you know my kids you know they will speak to me when they were little they still to this day will come and bring things to me as their father and we would speak and there were times that that I needed to bring an exhortation I would give them devotions every day I gave my children devotion seven days out of the week my children were in the Word of God and that doesn't mean that they were raised perfectly it doesn't mean that there were no mistakes made my wife made plenty of them I didn't no it's not to say that we had a perfect home and please don't misunderstand me some of you may be visitors today and think that I'm preaching down to you I'm not I'm saying this is what we did I gave them devotions five days out of the week I brought them to church on Wednesday and Sunday they were in the Word seven days a week but that doesn't mean that they didn't have a sin nature that doesn't mean that they didn't go out and try and blaze their own trail and discover their own truths they did that but as a father I held firm I exhorted them I held firm to them and I taught them the Word of God like it says in Proverbs 1 verse 10 my son if sinners entice you do not consent Proverbs 3 verse 1 my son do not forget my law let your heart keep my commands that was me as a father don't consent to sin and keep my commands why because they are a long life to you and they will be a blessing to you fathers do that the kids sometimes well with mama because mama's tender and nurturing the kids sometimes are going to want to get around dad's authority and try to to get to mom but when dad's in the house and they're trying to do that and dad hears that or it's brought to his attention dad deals with that you may have an attitude with with your mama but you don't have that attitude in front of me I can still remember you know one of my sons was kind of smarting off to my wife and he didn't know that I was home and I came walking in and he spoke to her in a way that was improper and I said to him you don't speak to your mother that way and he looks at me and he says I can too she's my mother and I said but she's my wife and you don't speak to my wife like that she may be your mother but she's my wife that's what a father brings into the home that strength that authority that exhortation that you're not going to get away with this one of my kids once said to me dad if you weren't here then I'd really run right over mom and there's a fact that there's there can be truth to that because mamas can be nurturing and mamas can be tender where fathers can also be strong and so the father says no you're not going there and paul said listen I exhorted you I spoke to you like a father and I'd let you know this is what you need to do because that's what fathers do he said I also comforted you the word comfort speaks of consoling there were times that you were in pain I was there for you you go through affliction and I comfort you a father can hold his child and can encourage the child there've been many times when my kids were small when my kids were small that they would they would be hurt by something there was something that occurred at school something they weren't chosen for a team or maybe they were picked on by somebody I and and and that my kids would come into my room sometimes I'd be there in my in my room and I can still remember more than once where they would walk in and and that I wasn't chosen for the team today and the little shoulders are sagging and they're crying I can play it why don't and I would hold them I can still remember I'd put them their little heads on my chest and I'd rock them and I'd say you know what son you'll be all right it's okay and I would comfort them or when they went through a breakup and there was a hurt I can still remember walking by one of my kids rooms where they were weeping and I walked in and they were playing their music and they were crying and I walked in and I sat on the bed next to them we're not talking children we're talking kids who are older I still held them and I still rocked them and I still said you're gonna be okay you're gonna be okay with the Lord you'll be all right you comfort them you comfort them they may not want you on their team but you'll always be on mine and you comfort your children and you love them daddies do that mama's can but there's something about a daddy put in his arm around his little girl when she's broken hearted okay she's been hurt and you say to her it may be Valentine's Day and you don't have a Valentine but I'll be yours until God brings somebody better that's what daddies do that's what daddies do to this day my children aren't small but to this day I still I still do that I still put my arm around them I still hold them I still love them because that's what fathers do we comfort our children and sometimes when mama just can't for whatever reason connect daddy can and there'll be times to this day when the phone rings and Marie will answer the phone and she'll say okay you want to talk to your dad and she'll just hand me the phone because they asked mom for money and they asked me for advice he said we charged you I charged you that means to implore it can speak of giving testimony it can speak of encouraging by divine revelation Proverbs 4 verse 10 hear my son receive my sayings the years of your life will be many daddy live out your faith at home live out your faith at home pick up that book called the bible read it to them tell them I don't understand everything but what I do understand this is what I'll share with you right now and share tell them how good God has been to you tell them how good God is put your hand on their little head and bless them at night when they go to bed when you drop them off at school pray for them put your arm around their shoulder at a certain age sometimes they get to the point where can you drop me off a block away from school that's okay that's okay just follow them as they're walking encourage them and love them and charge them and be that example to them pray for them don't be ashamed of your emotion don't be ashamed because that's what a real man learns how to express the emotions that we have we all have them a real man can learn through Christ how to say this is who I really am this is how I really feel this is what I really want for you I want to charge you and encourage you I want to exhort you I want to do these things son because that's what I should be doing baby girl because that's what you need because in this life it's short there's not much that you're going to be able to take other than that what you have laid up in heaven make sure that you keep your eyes on the Lord make sure that you make the right decisions in your life pray before you do things and hear my voice hear the voice of your father receive my sayings they will add life to you they will bring health to you they'll help you in times of struggle they'll help you in times when you're having to make a decision and you're not quite sure what to do and by the way I'll be with you as long as the Lord gives me life I'll be with you and I'll be there for you as long as I can I love my kids I'm sure you love yours I've tried to be a good father and I've tried to love my babies I have to say this openly I've said it recently perhaps even last week I don't remember my son David is the most loving father I know my son David I am so blessed by that young man he had some rough times growing up a lot of them but that man loves his babies he would lay his life down for him and you know how he learned that he learned that from me and you know how I learned that I learned that from my dad who loved me and I loved my son and my son loves his babies father on father's day be aware of who you are be aware of how important you are be aware of how your strength matters in that home do your children a favor and love their mother be faithful be kind be good be a living bible be a model of that faith be a model of that strength encourage them pray for them be there for them give them the things that matter because material things come and go time is something that once it's gone never comes back give them your time give them your heart give them the things that matter and release them into the hands of the Lord and Paul could say I love you I love you he said the way a mama loves her baby and the way a daddy charges exhorts encourages that's how I love you and that's what makes up ministry I've calmed you I've consoled you I've encouraged you I've strengthened you why verse 12 that you would walk worthy of God who calls you into his own kingdom and glory so that you would have a life that pleases the Lord the gospel presents a way of life that is different than the way others live without Jesus the gospel teaches us qualities the qualities of love and patience of kindness and compassion a person who's a follower of Christ has a life that reveals a relationship with him the gospel is a message of transformation and the one who is saved should walk worthy of that message we are living testimonies we're testimonies of a life that has been changed by the message we are according to 1 Peter 2 verse 9 a chosen people a royal priesthood a holy nation a people belonging to God he says that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light in Titus 2 14 we're told Jesus gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself of people that are his very own eager to do what is good walk worthy of the transforming and God honoring gospel of Jesus Christ and the reason Paul said this is he said as a father and if the love of a mother my great desire is that you will have a walk that is appropriate to the message that we've declared and that you have received because the way that you live brings honor and glorifies the message that you give so live what you give