 Well, hello and welcome to Understand Men Now. I'm Jonathan Asley of JonathanAsley.com, and I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today. Our topic, 97% of men go through this type of midlife crisis. Now, really quickly before we get in, because I know I get a lot of questions asking this really quickly, that's my mom and dad when they were in their 20s. And that's my mom and dad before my mom passed away at 88. So really quickly, I just want to let you know who are in those photographs. And again, there's a picture of me, and I always keep changing the pictures for the videos. OK, 97% of men go through this type of midlife crisis, this type of midlife crisis. All right, so I want you to recognize something that happens in the human condition, whether it's man or woman, but particularly men, because we are driven by that biological caveman perspective of that hunter. And that hunter also centers around our identity about what we do professionally. So we're driven by that testosterone, by that hunter, but also we identify it with ourselves as from a professional standpoint. So what happens with most men, we go through this stage of midlife crisis. And I want to lean into midlife crisis a little more, because what midlife crisis really is, it's where the blueprint we thought our life was going to be like when we were in our 20s, collides with our reality. It's where our blueprint collides with our reality. This is when we start stepping into that, who am I? Why am I here? That sort of questioning. But what happens in during this collision? OK, so let me backtrack. This blueprint, most men in their 20s think they're going to take on the world. We're going to become the next Bill Gates or Tony Robbins or God, who owns the island that I'm thinking of? Oh my god, I went brain dead there for a second. The guy who owns Virgin Airlines, Richard Branson, OK? Or whatever, Bill Gazarian, whoever a guy wants to be. And by the way, not that I would want anyone to be that. But anyway, my point is we have this blueprint. We're going to be multimillionaires or billionaires. We're going to be athletes. We're going to be these great things. And as time goes mostly centered around wealth and richness, OK? As time goes on, we realize that that's not where our life ended up. And the minute it collides with our true reality, that's when all hell breaks loose. Because at that moment is when our childhood wounds and traumas, our childhood wounds and traumas, begin to surface even more so. Now, there's also an interesting thing happens is that as our testosterone levels begin to decrease, our estrogen levels begin to increase as well, as we hit age 30, 35, 40, and 45, OK? So there's this decline in our testosterone, our increase in our estrogen. And why this is so important is our estrogen ties us into our emotions and starts triggering all of this stuff inside of us. And what happens next? And Allison Armstrong talks about the tunnel, the tunnel that we go through. And almost every man goes through this period of a tunnel. It's a rebirth. It's a reawakening. Joseph Campbell talks about the hero's journey. So what happens is with a lot of men, they're in the tunnel for a very, very, very, very, very, very, very long time. And with many men, they never emerge out of the tunnel. In other words, their childhood wounds, traumas, and their adult experiences weigh heavily on them. These are the men that turn to alcohol, that turn to drugs, that turn to sex, that turn to gambling, to self-medicate because they're not actually healing within. If you're not familiar with this, I highly recommend checking out the book called The Hoffman Process. The Hoffman Process for yourself, particularly. This is mainly for you. But this will help you give understanding as to what's happening because this isn't just men that go through the tunnel. The women go through the tunnel as well in just a little bit different format than men. And this is a generalization, so it's not all men and not all women. But this tunnel for a vast majority of men, probably 97% of the men, they never come out of the tunnel. This is total chaos to them. This clashing of their life with their blueprint, along with the festering of their childhood wounds and traumas. These are the men that are on their second, third, or fourth marriages. They've had multiple relationships. They have children with multiple women, for example. They ghost all the time. They're inconsistent. They're avoidant personality types. This are the men who are dealing with a lot of inner stuff. Oh, they could have issues at work. They could have issues with family members. These are the people that have problematic issues in their life and their problems have a control of them instead of they having control of their problems. Wow. Now, I don't like characterizing it as problems or issues, but I'm saying our stuff, our stuff that triggers us. And there's only a small percentage of men that do the necessary work. This is why I wrote the book, What the Heck Is Self Love Anyway? What the Heck Self Love Anyway is the exploration of personal development, self-help, and spiritual work. So you can, so here, let me pause for a second. The number one emotional health issue facing almost everybody is I'm not good enough, I'm not lovable, and I'm not likable. That's our number one issue. And dating triggers that, like dating and relationships trigger that, like nobody's business. This is why most relationships that you see are dysfunctional. That's why you see a lot of relationships that are dysfunctional. Ladies, I work with women that are constantly giving their power away to a man because you've been so conditioned that men are leaders and they're hunters and they chase and they go after what they want. And of course, these are men who are absolutely emotionally healthy and so of course they're gonna be perfect boyfriends. And then you find out, ah, he's a mess. By the way, when I'm talking about men right now I can say the equally same thing about women. There are plenty of women that are just as much of a mess as men, okay? But what I wanna lean into is the recognition that this is the reality of life and life is a journey. And if you pick a person that you wanna be made with then you have to recognize that there's a good chance that they're not actively healing on their wounds. So my invitation for you is first work on your stuff, work on yourself love, because you'll become a magnetic attractor for someone else who's done the work as well. Because what you most likely want is a really high quality partner and high quality simply means that they're emotionally mature. They're an emotional grownup. They take personal responsibility for their choices. Their actions match their words. They know how to fight fair. They have a level of empathy and they have transparency. That's the emotional grownup. And these men do exist just like these women exist. But it starts by becoming an emotional grownup within yourself. It starts by bringing back your own power, your own sovereignty, and then becoming a magnetic attractor for those men who are like you. And that's my invitation for you because if you don't even end up in a relationship what's most important is that you love on yourself. Because when you love on yourself all this other stuff is gonna work out magically and beautifully and deliciously. Because life is a joy when we love on ourselves. That gives you a quick insight of the men that are in the tunnel. The midlife crisis, what they're going through. Understanding that their blueprint has collided with their reality and all of their stuff begins to surface. And would you rather have the guy who's working on his stuff or the one who's in chaos? All right. I hope you found value in this video. I wanna hear your thoughts. Please post a comment below. If you have any questions, please write them down. I do my best to listen to them. Hey, if you've been thinking about coaching me you go, God, I can't afford it. Well, then check out the link to my private group. It's called Midlife Love Mastery. It's a VIP group and you can join for seven bucks for the first two weeks to test drive it to see if it's right for you. Click that link below. Also there's a link to my book as well. All right, I'm gonna wrap up this video as I always do now giving myself a big gigantic Jonathan Bear hug. I'm gonna invite you to give yourself a big gigantic Jonathan Bear hug or give yourself a Bear hug. Turn to the person next to you and give them a Bear hug because we can all use hugs because hugs are a great form of love. Thank you so much and wishing you a super duper, wonderful, fantastic day. Thanks, bye-bye now.