 No, no, no, it's the there's a clear distinction between classic borderline and psychopathic borderline and My new suggested diagnosis Covert borderline. Yes. Yes, exactly. So I can maybe if you want in two minutes, I could try to explain Yeah, the classic borderline woman The woman diagnosed with borderline personality disorder BPD this woman turns into a secondary psychopath But only when she faces rejection and abandonment Real rejection and abandonment perceived or anticipated the minute she's faced with these stressors She Decompensates and she acts out there is a self state that comes out to protect her and that's the secondary psychopath the secondary psychopaths They have empathy They have emotions Not not like the classic Robert here Harvey Clickley Primary psychopath secondary psychopaths of empathy. They have emotions including positive emotions, but the behaviors the behaviors of the Borderline woman resemble Those of the primary psychopath only the behaviors not the emotional background There's no dis empathy. There's no lack of empathy Actually empathy is redirected, but it doesn't matter right now it exists It's just the way she acts when she's faced with rejection and humiliation and abandonment is like a primary psychopath She has reactance. She becomes defiant. She becomes reckless. She has no impulse control impulsivity. She's aggressive. She's vindictive Suddenly there's a whole monopoly of antisocial conduct Now the psychopathic in the covert borderline They are primary psychopaths their psychopaths first and foremost and Ironically they become borderline. They display borderline traits and behaviors only in intimate settings so the Classic borderline becomes a psychopath when she is rejected and abandoned The psychopathic borderline and the covert borderline become primary psychopaths when they When they are embedded in an intimate relationships intimate settings So when they're in a committed relationship covert borderlines and psychopathic borderlines tend to be emotionally dysregulated like a classic borderline They are approach avoidant They are wood label. They have woodlability exactly like the borderline the classic borderline. They are objecting constant They idealize and devalue and they are grandiose. In short, they become full-fledged classic borderlines So it's a two-way street The borderline the classic borderline becomes secondary psychopath when she is faced with rejection affiliation and abandonment the covert borderline and the psychopathic borderline are actually psychopaths who become borderlines or display borderline behaviors and Psychodynamics when they suddenly find themselves in intimate settings and committed relationships Yes Yes, exactly Yeah, I I Posted a video about it yesterday. We we are beginning to believe that all grandiose narcissists are actually psychopaths That it's another form of psychopathy exactly like we believe today that all borderline women Secondary psychopaths. We are beginning to believe that all grandiose narcissists are actually psychopaths and That real narcissists are compensatory some of them are covert and vulnerable some of them are only compensatory Mm-hmm. It's a yeah, it's a great problem. Yeah Yeah so We distinguish between two types of child grooming Internet grooming and localized grooming Internet grooming is when a child is approached online via the internet by someone with sexual intentions and Localized grooming is when the same happens, but usually offline in a club in a library in a grocery store in On the way to school in school So localized grooming is grooming in physical settings by an adult and it's an exponentially growing scourge Yeah, there are there are recent studies starting in 2011 About half half a shocking number half of all minors between the ages of 12 and 17 Are accosted online by sexual predators One of every 10 Adolescents they sexed With these adults they exchange sexually explicit material with these strangers And it is a myth that these adults pretend to be teenagers. That's absolutely untrue The majority the vast majority of these sexual predators present themselves as adults and Express immediately they wish to have sex or to exchange sexual material In other words, they rarely hide their identity or their intentions Now in one third of these cases About 3% of all teenagers There is an offline meeting The parties discuss an offline meeting And in in one of 300 adolescents proceed To the to meet the sexual predator So one in 300 adolescents ends up meeting the sexual predator And these teenagers had reported that they went to the meeting With the express and premeditated intention of having sex with their interlocutors So it's again not true That the the teenagers or adolescents go to these meetings not knowing what's going to happen They go to these meetings to have sex and then In many many cases Too many two countenance These teenagers are subjected to group sex And many of them Are prostituted Although it is not presented as prostitution. It's presented as a favor Can you do me a favor and sleep with this guy? This guy is my friend. Would you mind sleeping with him? Or you're so nice to me. I love you. Can you help me with this guy? He needs a friend for the night or this kind of thing. So but it's prostitution because the teenager is Is recycled among multiple sex partners adult sex partners and usually The gang that recycles the teenager these teenagers collects money for the services And so this is 100 percent prostitution now Um, these these teenagers are given alcohol. They're giving drugs unlimited amounts Usually before the sex to facilitate the sex to disinhibit them To disinhibit them because at some point these teenagers begin to understand that something's wrong but I have read literature. I've read case studies and literature and I had interviewed Quite a few of these teenagers maybe in my career 50 or 60 of these teenagers Sometimes Immediately after the events and sometimes decades later when they came to me as as clients And here's the thing They deny They deny and reframe In order to survive with a shame and with a guilt And with a self-directed anger and aggression These people have to lie to themselves So they deny everything they repress everything and above all They reframe everything. They said it wasn't abusive. I wanted it. I wanted the sex I loved the sex. I was the one who initiated the sex. I was the one who was for sex Um, yeah, and I wanted multiple partners because I was discovering my sexuality and it was great fun And It was a phase many of them would say it was just a phase I I you know it took two years and I was out of it and now I'm a normal healthy person and You know, it had no effect on me. It definitely was not traumatic because I didn't experience it as a trauma Etc. Etc. There's a lot of denial a lot of denial and a lot of so Even if they were unconscious Going to Excess drinking a blackout or something they would deny that they would say no, I was conscious. I knew what I was doing. I wanted the sex Etc. It's very difficult to establish the facts because there is Enormous resistance and defense against the facts And these underage outliers because it's one of 300 These underage outliers. They have only two things in common number one They have a fervent wish to belong to belong to and to be loved by a substitute family a gang a group A boyfriend with his friends So-called boyfriend. So they want to be long They want to be loved. They want someone to care about them And this is because the real family is dysfunctional and neglectful Doesn't care about them So this is common denominator number one and common denominator number two All these adolescents were diagnosed with dark triad personality narcissism psychopathy Machiavellianism manipulativeness And this dark triad personality becomes more pronounced And more diagnosable as these As these adolescents as these teenagers grow up And so They're dysregulated And overwhelming sexual curiosity and sexual hyperactivity in puberty Is alliance with these nascent disorders because Psychopaths are hypersexual Psychopathy goes hand in hand with hypersexuality So is borderline Borderline goes hand in hand with disinhibited sexuality and reckless sexuality So These adolescents the one in 300 They have all the foundations and the rudiments and the elements of psychopathy of borderline personality disorder some grandiosity potentially narcissism And their sexuality Is expresses these disorders is aligned with them and so the question is Which is the chicken? And which is the egg? The unspoken taboo conundrum in psychology is Is this Psychopathy and borderline traits involve partly hereditary Brain abnormalities they're partly genetic and they definitely involve brain dysfunctions brain abnormalities And these disorders can be diagnosed Even in childhood for example contact disorder, which is psychopathy in children So Which preceded which? Can these disorders can these flaws? Have propelled these specific children? To seek or even to initiate precocious sex with like-minded predatory adults In other words, maybe the children maybe these people are not lying Maybe they were really the ones who had initiated the sex Maybe they were really the ones who had wanted the sex Because they were budding budding psychopaths and psychopaths are hyperactive Coupled with the natural Curiosity of an adolescent about sexuality. This could be overwhelming and could push them to act out And to solicit sex from sexual predators So we don't know what preceded what These people have been almost universally diagnosed with psychopathy and borderline later on in life and this must have started in adolescence So by the time by the time by the time they found themselves With the sexual predator Being prostituted Or being co-opted into group sex or whatever By that time They will already have been almost full-fledged psychopaths and borderlines And so it's difficult to tell Who who started it all? At some state, of course, these children learn that the love that they are offered by the predator Is exploitive. It's fake They don't there's no love there and they don't belong anywhere It was all a fake facade Intended to motivate them to sleep with strangers but At the same time these children these adolescents these teenagers they come to these underage people They come to realize That they can use sex To manipulate people to manipulate adults They can wield power over adults They can control adults with their sexuality This experience Of working together with sexual creditors To give sexual services to strangers Many strangers few strangers doesn't matter teaches them the power of sex Suddenly they feel validated They feel empowered And from that minute on And for the rest of their lives They become promiscuous Because promiscuity guarantees control Guarantees winning the power play Which is the main feature of psychopathy and of course the main feature of borderline in a desperate attempt to prevent abandonment and so Internet and localized offline grooming leading to actual sex Had been associated with depression and anxiety in later life We have studies that show this if you were exploited sexually exploited as a teenager You are much more likely to have anxiety and depression later on in life, but Depression and anxiety including social anxiety They are frequently duly diagnosed connected to psychopathy and borderline personality disorder even In psychopaths and borderlines who didn't have such experiences In other words, if you're a psychopath If you have borderline personality disorder, you're very likely to have anxiety and depression Whether you've been exploited by a sexual predator or not So it is impossible to prove causation We can't prove that the sexual predation The sexual abuse the sexual sexual exploitation led to the anxiety and the depression because anxiety and depression Are there Whether you had this experience or not. It's a convoluted psychological landscape And it's difficult to to disentangle what led to what if at all Precautious sex May simply be an early example of acting out borderline or psychopathic acting out Later when these people become adults they become promiscuous Even compulsively promiscuous Because this is the only technique. This is the only coping strategy they had developed To feel safe To feel that they're in control to feel empowered and to fend off Possible threats and and so Yeah, yeah, I finished Could could you could you repeat this? Could I'm sorry my hearing is deeper. Could you repeat this again? Ah feminism, okay. Yeah, maybe even Maybe even earlier Maybe even earlier. It's uh Yeah, it's a difficult question No No, I'm not saying that No, I don't know. It's not what I'm saying. I'm sorry It's all I'm saying. I don't know where you got this from I don't know where you got this from Yeah, thank you Thank you for the chance to clarify I'm not against feminism and I'm definitely not a sexist When feminism started as a suffragette movement in the 19th century it was fully justified Women were treated as slaves or chateau as property They were listed in property lists Their property belonged to the husband. They didn't have a right to vote They couldn't work in a variety of professions. They couldn't obtain education There was numerous clausus For bait them from obtaining education All this was wrong It's catastrophically wrong So the beginnings of feminism in the form of the suffragette movements all over the world This was justified These were justified demands for equality and access Absolutely. Yes. Even I would say the suffragettes were much more violent than me too I mean much more aggressive than the the the current brand of feminism, but Feminism took a wrong militant militant turn in the 1960s As it transitioned from justified demands for equality and access to misery Men hating The undermining of all social institutions Whether these social institutions were part of the patriarchy male chauvinistic control Or whether these institutions were actually good for women and not part of the patriarchy militant feminists Were undermining all social institutions because they were established by men That was sufficient qualification to be dismantled And there was a user patient taking over of gender roles Women aspire to be like men And not only did they aspire to eliminate the differences the beautiful differences the differences that create attraction Attraction between men and women Not only did they aspire to eliminate these differences in everything in clothing in behavior in foul language in drinking in drug abuse in adultery in promiscuity Women were trying to become men And not only were they trying to become men But they were trying to become psychopathic men And they're doing a good job of it. They're not very far from that the level of narcissism, for example Psychopathic narcissism among women is not equal to men Which was not the case only 30 years ago So now we have unigender We have a single gender because men are exactly like women women are exactly like men. They have different genitalia So it's a single gender with two two types of genitalia and this leads to what is called gender vertigo We we don't know how to behave anymore Because there are no clear roles for men and clear roles for women It's fuzzy. It's fluid and it's fluid in the bed sense These women are imitating the worst aspects Of masculinity women are actually adopting toxic masculinity While men are adopting toxic femininity It's Dizzyingly crazy Yeah Yeah, exactly me too for example. So there's a there's this intersectional Victimhood movements and agendas which were hijacked by narcissists and psychopaths And these victimhood movements started started with laudable aims With with appropriate demands and so but they were hijacked simply by narcissists and psychopaths grandiose people And so they these movements coalesced With a militant feminism that started in the 1960s and now we have very disturbing orientations exacerbated by this politically correct victimhood Me too grievance movements Every disagreement Every argument every conflict every shade of opinion every form of critical thinking is now considered abusive It it flattened speech we're creating flat speech speech Women and men Gradually began to resent each other vilify each other Label each other. I would even say that today There's hatred between men and women collectively collective hatred. They hate each other and this You can see you see. Yeah, exactly. You can see examples of this and it's culminated in misogynistic movements Such as incels red pillars migtows and so on in the monosphere It's really bad out there And and it didn't help That there were also economic trends Which made matters worse for example divorce The skyrocketing rates of divorce now around 50 percent Now and for the last few decades around 50 percent So divorce for example, this was the greatest transfer of wealth and property in human history Dwarfing the oil shock of the 70s Dwarfing anything that had ever happened in human history this transfer of gigantic ginormous amounts of money and property from men to women in divorce settlements This didn't help it left men very bitter And it did not empower women by the way Single women after divorce are poorer than when they are married The academic attainments of women now and for the last 15 years exceed men men's About two-thirds of all college graduates are women Men are not getting education high education And so their earning potential is much lower than women in the long run in the next few decades So women are much more educated. It's more difficult for them to find an appropriate partner Someone to talk to after the sex, you know And this has led to the replacement Of of men by women Women have displaced many men in middle class professions So now men Are rebelling the protesting the pushing back Because men are boys be boys. They are aggressive. They are testosterone laden. They are enraged They are not they you know, they don't pay attention to the nuances of the subtle and fine Fine print and fine points. So men refuse to marry marriage rates collapse Men refuse to have children Why because they can have sex at the drop of a hat Sex has been commodified. It's now emotionless. Yes. Ask any young person. They will tell you sex It's nothing. It's a physical function. It's fun. It's just for fun No, we're not emotionally involved. There's no intimacy here It's five pumps and five dumps. That's all. That's what sex is So sex is around the corner And since sex is around the corner, why get married? Why buy the whole cow if all you want is a glass of milk And so this unbridled access to sex Coupled with the unfavorable matrimonial legislation which favours women This created a disincentive for men to marry and have children They have no incentive to commit or to invest in relationships or even to have relationships indeed For the first time in human history Majorities of people especially women are single Women and men pying for each other They miss each other There's nothing more beautiful than a couple by the way, not only men and women any couple homosexual couple. There's nothing more beautiful Than being then togetherness Nothing more soothing and comforting and supporting and life extending than intimacy And men miss women and women miss men Everyone is cocooned in bachelor pads or stuck in In in dives and and single joints And no one is getting anywhere And the genders meets miss each other But I think it's too late. Yeah, I think yeah No No, no, no, no, I don't see any cause for optimism. I'm sorry. I have to disagree with you So I have to disagree with you. Uh, we also have a bit of an age difference. I have a perspective over you I don't see any reason for optimism I think it's too late The schism the divide the abyss between the genders will not heal. It's only getting worse It's getting worse if you look at statistics Numerous studies People under age 25 They date 56% less Dating apps fill in the gap, but not efficiently a tiny fraction of a sliver end up actually dating And majority of youth of the youth people under age 35 They lead celibate lifestyles That's a majority I think you may enjoy watching or benefit from watching my video About youth sexlessness Where I had summarized the 20 20 largest studies of youth sexuality But you know what the video is one hour long Let me summarize it for you A video about youth sexuality There isn't End of story. Thank you for listening. No youth sexuality. That's all Well, you know Youth young people become adults adults and adults So if you get used in your Sorry, if you get used in your adolescence Or as a young person to not have sex to not have relationships because you don't know how to have relationships If you are used just to pump and dump And I mean that's how your life is going to look like sterile lonely wasted dead Young people are dead inside Dead inside. Well, of course I do. Of course, I'm not generalizing You can always come with an anecdote of your cousin who is not dead inside. I'm talking about youth The picture is not good The incidence of anxiety Went up five times The incidence of depression incidence of depression went up three times Suicide rates have climbed 50 percent In the last decade alone Especially among young women It's not a good picture None Teenagers Are voting with their guns and nooses They're committing suicides and pills And knives They're killing themselves They don't want to live in this world Honestly, I can't blame them God knows what will happen after the pandemic Okay, we can always disagree. No, I think I think it's good to move on to the next question I say what I have to say. I mean, what else can I say? Okay, I disagree I don't know. I'm data driven Not anecdote driven and not hope driven. I don't believe in hope I believe there's nothing worse ever to have been invented than hope Hope is a drug Hopefulness is a drug addiction Okay, you wish to hope I hope you succeed to hope in the face of all the overwhelming tsunami of data Okay, let's let's move on. Let's move on, please Yeah, so Yeah, it's a new study. It's published last july It's just supports something that Theodore millen Many others had been saying for decades. I'm scott. I'm scott is the father of narcissistic personality disorder These people have been saying it for decades. Hans scott said it in 1974 And the humble me I also said it 20 20 20 what in 1995 26 years ago, I'm I'm cited in the article as well My work is cited in the article. So They simply say that what we used to consider as as narcissists are actually psychopaths And the drill narcissists are compensatory and all the big names in psychology actually said the same It's very surprising Yeah compensatory. It's like, you know, uh, they feel inadequate. They feel inferior and they're covering up for it with a show with an act Mm-hmm No, not not not every narcissistic is a psychopath grandiose narcissists a subsection So it's yeah, it's a few narcissists. They're grandiose and they're psychopaths probably Yeah, all psychopaths have grandiose All borderlines, by the way have grandiosity as well. Grandiosity is is a trait Or maybe a cognitive deficit depending how you Depending on conceiving. Yeah, it's common in in many disorders even in psychosis, by the way, there's grandiose psychotic grandiosity Psychopaths don't experience modification like narcissists. No no The narcissist modification is when the the firewall The fortification the defense that he had constructed the phone itself crumbles And the narcissist remains like a turtle without a shadow Skinless defenseless Facing himself in the mirror without the distorting effects Of the false self The false self keeps lying to the narcissist all the time the false self tells the narcissist. You are you are handsome You are irresistible You are a genius. You are so There's a feedback from the false self supported by well-meaning people narcissistic supply. So When this is taken away Narcissist faces himself in the mirror and says i'm not a genius i'm an idiot And i'm not handsome. I look like wasimodo on a bad day So And that is modification psychopaths don't have this psychopaths actually Are affect less They don't have effect. They don't have emotions. Of course. They don't have empathy, but they don't have anything else They're like very very primitive basic organisms They have dim steerings of disappointment resentment frustration aggression when they are rejected Generally the psychopaths experience only one of two binary mental states They either feel euphoric And king of the world a bit manic Or much more often they feel bad not bad depressed Not bad ashamed not bad guilty just bad like they've eaten something bad You know like you feel bad after you ate something spoiled They just feel bad biak biak kind of feeling So the psychopath is in one of two states i'm on top of the world biak biak i'm on top of the world this kind of thing and it's very very Fundamental very basic. It's you can't break it down to anything Narcissist internal world is much richer than the psychopath And so psychopaths reacts Respond with reactants They are defined They're angry When they are humiliated in public, but they are not modified. They're not modified because psychopaths are goal oriented They want to get from a to b never mind who stands in the way and who said what to They are just on their way to be point b So when they're humiliated or attacked or inside they shrug it off They shrug it off and they move on The mafia dons the mobsters Who revenge and avenge they do it because honor Reputation is the glue That holds everything together in crime It's not because they take it personally as they keep saying in the movies I'm killing you but it's nothing personal it's business You know or you're my friend. I will kill you for free No, not you. You're not my friend. So I will not kill you I will not kill you. I'll keep your life Yeah Yeah, absolutely. We have a few We have a few more minutes. I have a client in Yeah, absolutely good