 What's going on, you guys? Welcome to the Single Guide channel. My name's Lloyd bringing you practical and actionable dating advice that really works. Today we're going to be talking about how to end a casual relationship without hurting her. The truth is the answer to this question is you're probably going to hurt her a little bit, but how can we hurt her the worst? How can we have the smoothest transition? Because casual relationships are probably the most common thing going on today in today's society. In the modern era, people usually just like hook up, hang out for a while, and if they hang out long enough and they like each other long enough, then maybe it turns into something bigger later. But a lot of time these relationships, you know, for whatever reason, maybe she likes you more than you like her, or you like her more than she likes you, or maybe you don't think she's hot enough. Whatever the reason is, it doesn't matter the reason. It matters that you don't want to be with her anymore. And if that happens, how do you handle breaking up with that person? Because hopefully, if you've been hooking up with them for a little bit, you care at least about how they feel. So in this video, basically what I'm going to cover is I'm going to cover what you should actually say during that period of time, how you should handle the situation, and ultimately what's going to prevent catastrophes, getting your shit broken, all that stuff which has happened to me in the past for sure. So the first thing that I'm going to say is if you get into this position, you probably did something wrong from the beginning, okay? If you started hooking up with a girlfriend for like maybe three weeks or something like that, you say you don't want a girlfriend, you don't want a relationship, but you're calling her, texting her every single day, you're hanging out with her all the time, you're like cuddling up with her when you guys are together constantly, what is she going to think, okay? She's going to think you guys are in a freaking relationship, because you pretty much are. You're acting exactly like that. So your actions are not matching up with what you want. So if you don't want a girlfriend, don't act like you want a girlfriend. It's very simple. I mean, this is the number one reason why girls start going crazy, because guys are acting, they give them confusing signals. They'll act one way and say they want something else, okay? So you really need to confirm in what you want and actually pursue it and go for it, okay? I would say if you're having a casual relationship with someone and you don't want it to end up being serious, probably shouldn't see them more than twice a week. Twice a week actually, twice a week is actually a lot, you know? And I understand sometimes if you're just seeing them for a short period of time, you know, you want to see them as much as you want. Okay, cool. That's fine too. No two casual relationships are the same. So basically what I'm going to give you is I'm going to give you guidelines and stuff that's worked for me and the stuff that's gotten me into trouble in the past, okay? So the first thing is you want to set expectations correctly and make sure that you're acting the way that you actually feel. And when I mean set expectations correctly, I know a lot of guys are probably going to be out there thinking that, oh, from the get go, I'm going to tell her I don't want a relationship and that this is just going to be casual. I mean, you can do that and it probably will solve a lot of your problems, but at the same time too, you're probably going to lose a lot of women. That kind of stuff turns women off real fast because you're basically saying, hey, you're not good enough for me to even entertain the thought of a relationship with you. And the truth is, you know, in the beginning stages when you first meet somebody and you first start sleeping with them, you're still trying to figure each other out and still trying to figure out what you want from that person and you don't know them yet. And until you know them, until you've gotten to hang out with them a bunch of times, until you've had sex with them, if you're me, then you don't know if that's what you want yet. So I usually wait until I have that talk or declare that until I've gotten to know the person pretty well. Usually if I've been seeing a person for like, I don't know, two months or something like that, then maybe I'll start to think about having that talk. And that's two months where I'm seeing them like maybe once a week or twice a week or something like that. Okay, so obviously setting expectations correctly, make sure your actions match up with what you're thinking. Okay, now when you're actually ready to have the talk, when you're actually ready to break up with this person, like they're getting too clingy or something like that, whatever the reason is, you need to sit down and, you know, be firm with them. Okay, don't don't leave the possibility that things are going to happen in the future. Don't don't say things in the moment just to make them happy in that specific moment. So it's an easier time for you. If you do that, it's longer term, it's going to hurt them more, and it's going to cause you more problems. You know, the times where I have gotten into a lot of trouble, like I'll give you an example was, you know, I was hooking up with this girl for like, for like nine months, man. And, you know, the whole time of saying, you know, I don't want anything serious, I was, I was sleeping with other girls as well too. But I stayed in that for too long. And I stayed in that for too long, because it was really inconvenient for me to break up with this girl because we had some mutual friends. And she was going to be around all the time. And so I just stayed in it for an extra three months or whatever it was. You know, even though saying that, oh, it's cool if we see, you know, see other people and stuff like that. It didn't matter. The feelings were still there. And what I should have done is I should have kind of loose that around the six month or five month more, probably even earlier, you know, from being totally honest with you. What I should have said at that point is that it should have said, Hey, listen, you know, I really like you. I really care about you. And I, you know, I really enjoy spending time with you, but I don't like where things are going. And I think we should just be friends at this point. That's what I should have said. But in the end, I ended up caring it for longer. I ended up saying things, you know, saying things to make her feel good in that moment. I don't really remember exactly what I said. But it ended up blowing up in my face and she ended up hating me. And so that caused a lot of problems later. However, there was a time where I did this correctly, where we were just seeing each other for, I don't know, I think we saw each other for like three months or something like that. And, you know, my actions were exactly what I wanted. I saw her, you know, maybe like once a week. And so we were hanging out a lot and we were sleeping together. It was great. It was fun. But I felt like, you know, things were heading in a direction where, you know, she was getting a little too clingy, she was getting a little, a little, a lot of feelings for me. And I could sense this. So I had to talk with her. I said the same exact thing. I said, Hey, listen, I really like you. I really enjoy spending time with you, but I don't really like where things are going. And so I think that we should just be friends at this point. And to my surprise, she was actually pretty cool that, you know, I could tell she was disappointed at the time. But my goal at that point was not to make her happy in the moment. My goal was to probably going to, probably going to upset her a little bit in the moment. But I wanted her to be able to move on as quickly as possible and find a guy that is going to make her happy. And to my surprise, we ended up being really, really good friends after that. And I still message her. She still messages me. You know, I tell her about all the girls I'm sleeping with, that sort of stuff. It's kind of funny. She tells me of all the guys she's sleeping with. So, you know, I ended up getting a friend out of that, which is really great. So a lot of the girls that I ended up hooking up with her over a period of time, they ended up becoming my friends because I do this correctly. And when they don't become my friends, a lot of times is because I didn't do this correctly or maybe the feelings are too strong, you know, and every relationship is different. But hopefully you've learned from this and saw how you can take a casual relationship and basically end it and end it on a good note where you guys aren't feeling like shit and she can move on and find somebody else very, very quickly and you can do the same. So that's kind of how it works, you guys. You're going to be encountering this in the future, especially if you're a guy with options. And if you're not a guy with options, once you do have options, you're going to be experiencing this a lot too. And it's going to be a learning process that and of itself. Okay, cool. Well, that's all I have to say about this. You guys, if you made it to the end, consider subscribing. I come up with videos like this every single week. If you're interested in my weekly one on them, weekly one on one mentorship program where I teach guys exactly how to do this, shoot me an email of us single guy 2017 at gmail.com. Thanks a lot, y'all. Good luck out there.