 It's day four of the o9-21 convention last day. We've never gone this far into an event four days is pretty pretty big So yeah, anyways today we have first up red-hand man. I want to go on stage man. Oh, sure. I didn't know he's in the shot But now I'm a shot. Yeah, he came in 08. He did a great job. I've done him for years and take a seat man take a seat and and He's just a great guy like he's been really helpful You know whenever I need to sell put the event he actually did interview with me a little while ago and local radio It was pretty cool. Yeah, my stuff, too. Yeah, he did he did But just great. I've known for a long time and he's a bit older than most people from I don't think it's a secret, but I think with age comes wisdom I think today's gonna share quite a bit of that for the second year in a row So guys without further ado get stoked. It's red-hand man. Thanks, man. All right Thanks, Anthony He's done a great job. I mean, I didn't do anything like this when what how old are you now 23 20 still I didn't do anything like that. So, you know kudos to him for having the Cajones coconut size to put this on I mean I Don't know any of my friends were doing things like that at 21 I was getting out of school and doing crazy things a little bit about myself. I am 43. I'll be 44 this year So geez that guy's old Good man old enough to bang your mom. No If she lives in Orlando, there's it never mind this is film side I've got a little In spite of everything about to hear from me I've tried to talk to guys from my experience and things that got on in my life I Got married really young right out of college. It seems like I did everything young was young dumb and full of you Know what now? I'm older a little bit less dumb and still full of you know what? but I Did the marriage thing I was with my ex for 20 years. I've got three daughters and I'm warning them about guys like you and guys like me and I've made a lot of money and business over the years. I've spent a lot of money. It's been a lot of money on women and A couple years ago. I started blogging this stuff. I don't know if any of you've seen it I think there's a link on Anthony's website right hand manifesto blog spot com So I started putting all this stuff down and my friends were like hey, that's pretty cool. That's good You know, I didn't think of it that way So today's like a synopsis of the stuff over the past couple years and I don't think there's a lot of new stuff under the sun I know in the in the realm of the pickup community Everybody's trying to come out with it a new edge something new to sell you know some of the companies have been around a while They're always bringing out new product to sell you. I really don't think there's a lot of stuff That's new under the Sun that Women are complicated men are complicated, too But I try to follow some basic rules in my life that have been helpful me in the interactions. So I Give it a picture of my week This is kind of the lifestyle that I like to have now Tuesday night I have a woman that invites me over and Her house she's got nice wine there. She knocked herself out making these hors d'oeuvres I'm like a foodie. I like I should weigh a couple hundred pounds, but I don't but I love food And I love a woman that cooks for me and goes out of waiting. It's not nice So she really knocked herself out with these these hors d'oeuvres What is that the Italian ham drop that yeah, what's that Italian ham prosciutto you guys ever heard of that? Prusciuto Gouda So he's knocked out hors d'oeuvres. So get the hors d'oeuvres the wine great romantic evening You know, I leave there the next day Super Thursday night getting another woman. She's like a Chef she invites me over. She gives me her best liquor. She makes a dinner That would put Ruth's Chris to shame filet mignon shrimp cocktail like hey, where's your shrimp cocktail? She's like, you know, I'm Deathly allergic to that and I'm like look at this. She doesn't like it but makes it for me The great dinner. I brought my guitar played some for Is really killer so Two things this week, you know being treated kind of like a king and then last night I had a date with a girl and We had a couple pictures of beer Dinner we sat unless some live music The bill came she paid for the whole thing So that's kind of what my deal is is I like to flip the script on traditional roles of what? Men and women or what guys thinking especially what our society says How the male-female relationship is supposed to go? So today here's what I'm going to talk about Really two big things what to avoid and dealings with women and what to embrace Things that you want to avoid are problems in relationships You want to avoid the money drain out of your bank account into someone else's pocket? And the other thing you want to avoid is baby mama drama So we'll talk about that Things that you need to embrace that's the second part is you've got embrace a strong frame I write a lot about that in my blog. I've made all the mistakes. So now I know We'll talk about multiple long-term relationships because that's really the alternative to traditional dating It's alternative to marriage talk a little bit about having male friends and Then if you've got to pick just one What do you do? Some guys feel the need they've got to pick one woman and stay with her so I'm not I'm not like a the most gifted public speaker So I'm just going to try to talk to you and I'll try to move around for the camera So that I'm doing that right like I'm supposed to and at times I'm going to read a little some excerpts from my blog. So Some of the best speeches there I've given they read from teleprompters Next year. Can we get a teleprompter? It works for Obama Here's a snapshot of your future Is anybody in the room who's over 25? Get anybody over 30 Okay, that's good. Excellent. How many guys are under 22? Okay, excellent. Good deal. You get your whole future ahead of you I'll give you a snapshot traditionally in America what you do is you're gonna go to school You're gonna graduate. You're gonna get career You can try your hand at dating you're gonna fall in love. You're gonna get engaged. You're gonna buy a big ring You can get married. You're gonna have kids and then you get divorced. That's the odds are it's greater than 51% that that's what's gonna happen to you and Now I did it. So the real challenge in coming to like a four-day convention like this It's picking up some skills picking up some new ideas to help you defy the odds Because everything in our culture is kind of geared toward pushing you that way, you know success in our culture is defined as that track right there Go to a good school get a good degree get a good job Find a good woman get married have good kids put them through school get divorced and then you find yourself in your 40s Back again going wow. Let me see if I can do this different this time So that's the thing it tried to maybe I give you some information to help you defy the odds Here's what I've seen. There's the problems with relationships that are traditional is It's I think it's a problem unique to Western cultures, especially in America I've got three daughters. I'm not gonna talk too much about them because they may find this on the internet and so But I've got three beautiful daughters And I love them. I would do anything for them. I'd give my life for them But I never ever use the word princess with them Because that's something in America every girl wants to be a princess Disney perpetuates that I gotta be a princess come to Disney I treat you like a princess And I apologize to the women there in the audience today at no offense personally, but I'm gonna talk in general. There's always Exceptions to the rule and there's great women out there. I find them all the time the women that are exception to the typical rule but You know, there's American women have a sense of entitlement and they really like us to chase I don't know if anybody talked about that Patrick and I last year kind of give a presentation on pick up and the whole idea of not chasing women and it's so easy to fall into that trap of Chasing a woman who feels entitled to your time to your money to your affection and the hotter that you think she is the more likely you're gonna succumb to her sense of entitlement and and It's not just like sour grapes from guys like us in a convention. You hear it on Oprah dr. Phil Ellen Cosmo glamour everything's pushing women to have this but before it's a foregone conclusion that women are victims Well, let's take a look some of the games that women play You know because women what do they always say when say I'm tired of players and that's basically short for a game player tired of guys that play But I think the games that women play are even more dangerous. So they typically involve women looking for sponsors Guys that are willing to part with their money And you think that approval affection and fidelity can be purchased now in America these days The you know the big race was really not between McCain and Obama It was really between Hillary and Obama should maybe get her shot again But we're in an era now where a woman can be president of the United States a woman can make an accusation about a man And basically ruin his career look at the Duke lacrosse team You know you've a couple years ago basically ruin these guys best years in college With an accusation so society is kind of leans toward that that the woman's the victim But there's some games and you guys are probably ahead of the the curve on this but bar drinks I Mean when we go out some guys peacock personally, I think everybody gets in the game and I was out the other night on Friday night downtown and I could sell the guys that have read the book the game or they get a little pick up information because They all look the same you can pick a new guy new to the community. You can pick him out You can spot him a mile away So most guys don't dress up but women dressed to the nines and they come out to the bar and I hear this almost every time that I go out is Hey, you know you talk to somebody that like hey You're gonna buy me a drink not all women ask that but a good proportion of them do Women will flirt with a guy to gonna buy drinks my friends. Tell me this for female friends tell me that all the time So one thing when we come out they want to use your money to buy to buy drinks They play all games Say you do well in a pickup scenario you meet a girl You spend a little time with her and you become involved physically with her and you're like hey This is you know, it's just not a romp The sexual romp you'll find that yeah, they'll put out and then all of a sudden here's the game comes along is You know, I have a few expectations. I heard that from one woman. We hook up and the next thing I know She's hey, I have a few expectations for this She gave me our expectations, but it really boiled down to me becoming her boyfriend The other game that women want to use you for lunches and dinners and when I was first divorced I Was taking girls out to dinner? crazy so One good article I have you guys Paul Janka Janka Janka. You ever heard of him? I show hands Paul Janka. Yeah, good guy He writes a really good article out there about why you avoid the whole avoid the whole dining out routine Because if a woman's really into you she'll either cook for you or she'll come to your house for dinner So it was about probably I was a couple years ago. I met this girl She's 29 so she's like 12 years younger than me meet her for coffee. There's no Starbucks near her house, so Go to Applebee's just to hang out have a coffee get to know her and we're sitting there and it's after about 30 minutes She's like well, you know what? She's like are we gonna order some food? I'm like well, you know if you want we can go to your house and you can cook me some food Oh, there's no food at my house. I'm like why and she's like well, you know what? I didn't eat anything and I'm hungry and we talking a long time I'm like no, you know the plan was just to meet have some coffee talk get to know each a little bit better But she's coming back and going no, but when the woman's hungry This is out of this good record, but the one when the woman's hungry. It's the polite thing to do I'm like I run out of time. I've got to get back She's like that's okay. Can we order some takeout? I'm like you're persistent, aren't you? I'm like, you know what? I'm not your daddy, so it's not my job to feed you Oh, you know, I know you're not my dad. I get enough money to buy dinner for the whole lunch for the whole restaurant I'm like, yeah, I don't doubt that but that's the kind of the game. Hey, buy me dinner. No, we're not going to do that Oh, can we get takeout? So there's some persistent women out there And that's hardcore pressure. I mean she was She might still be she might have still been stripping, but She was a stripper. She looked great But everything she could muster batting the brown eyes at me So Lunches and dinners you picking up the tab. It's a game The shopping game, but I don't think anybody's really that stupid, but I've got a friend that knew a girl after just a few short months and was out buying her a necklace at Tiffany's And I'm just like what were you thinking? So some guys do that Weekend trips every girl wants to go to Las Vegas on a cruise New York City for the weekend The younger set of girls that are in school don't think about that But as soon as the woman gets out and she's got a career. She thinks about weekend trips Substitute word get away for dinner. It's the same thing a woman will Look for you to sponsor her out of town trips Especially if the relationship is she's like some kind of relationship that's going well You know, she plant that seed. Hey, we should get out town. We should go to the beach for the weekend We should go this we should do that The other game the women plays cohabitation game I had some friends that do it now. I had a friend About 18 months ago that was doing it just killed him the cohabitation deal No marriage no kids, but a world of manipulation on her part You know, a lot of women miss the co part of that I've got some friends that do that right they get the cohabitation and it's 5050 down the line She's treats. He treats back and forth. It's only even keel The other game engagement rings in our society. That's the ultimate game for a woman It is the ultimate finger trophy for the non-married girl once once you get out of school they get the career They're now looking for They're trying to find a good guy who's going to provide for her good guys can get their kids But that engagement ring A couple years ago Was dating this one girl and her friend had been married one year The poor guy I think knew her like six months before they got engaged. He bought her $10,000 engagement ring So he's known her maybe 18 months at the end of that here comes the divorce What do you think she did with the ring? Hey, you know, I'm sorry. I didn't work out. Here you go She's like, hey, I'm keeping the ring So there's guys that in jewelers even have a new phrase for that now You guys know that you heard about the the rings that come out a woman, you know, if you're young you're starting your career out The starter ring So, you know, Madison Avenue the whole marketing deal. Hey, it's a starter ring You know later the whole idea is you're going to buy that ring She pops out a couple kids for you. Now you got to get her the big ring. So It's another game Other game baby daddy you get to watch out for that. Um Anybody heard this term? Hey, we don't you don't need a condom I'm on birth control Did we hurt it with your hands exactly? Who plays with fire I talked my friend patrick's here. I talked to him about this friday night. He just looked at me and said do you really want more kids? so He does sometimes that he did he did the moment you You don't want to wrap that thing. Maybe you should you know Be especially vigilant for some of you guys in the little older bracket closer to me. Um the 30 to 38 range Uh these women if you listen real closely, they exude a ticking sound And uh after they conquer the marketplace they feel compared to conquer compelled to conquer motherhood and um You know if you that's just a tough deal. That's even an american thing. Hey conquer the marketplace conquer motherhood hire an Annie never home Uh we'll talk about that a little bit later about what to look for You know, some of you may have been raised by a mom like that. It was never home. I was very fortunate My mom was old school. She stayed home. It's a really good thing about that. Some of other may have had that It's a really good deal But the game. Hey, I want to have a baby. Baby's just another projection sometimes for an american woman I got my career. I'm gonna keep the baby. They never see the kids. They're stressed out Um If you're the poor, you know, that's the tough thing with women who have careers It's noble. I want my daughters to have careers when it comes to raising a family Between career and the kids the poor husband's never going to get any sex because she wiped out come 10 o'clock So, uh, stay at home moms. This uh, it's a pretty good thing So that's one problem american's woman entitlement, um The divorce rate It's a problem with relationships I don't know what the stats are now. It's over 50% Everybody's well aware of that big problem with getting married is that the odds are so so much against you Um Marriage is not the cure for loneliness I think a lot of times you'll find you don't hit this now, but as you get up in your years There's some men that really fear growing old and alone and I don't think it's the cure for it I've been married. I've had kids I've owned several companies made a lot of money lost a lot of money Had cars nice cars Nice vacations, but if you pick any one of those things none of them makes you happy So if you just substitute the word for marriage if you think something's making you happy you chase it for a while You get it and go a you know what that really didn't make me happy marriage is the same thing. It's not the cure for loneliness um There's a certain amount of it emotionally that sets in to a guy There's a certain amount of loneliness. It's not necessarily needing this because your emotions you're going to feel these things whether or not But uh, sometimes the crave just to have a relationship to being one is because a guy really doesn't know what he wants Um marriage doesn't solve the loneliness problem having a girlfriend doesn't solve the loneliness problem um plenty of successful Uh Guys who've conquered the marketplace They've conquered their finances Uh conquered athletics they get stuck in a lonely marriage So it doesn't uh, there's no guarantee that that girl that you marry or stay with Is going to be the same sweet caring woman that you fell in love with So no one can guarantee that and that's another difficult thing people change in marriage. You know The girl that you marry She changes she grows or she has different wants and desires go in the other way um drama It's another problem with relationships um Women are typically more emotional than men They have more drama you talk to a woman who's in a career professional and say she works around other women There's always drama involved. I had this conversation thursday night with my friend The one who cooked a great dinner for me. She's like i've been working around guys for five years now very successful high powered Guys that make a lot of money spend a lot of money and she would like that environment She could be herself. She could say what she wanted rarely had her feelings hurt She changed careers and now works at a company that she works predominantly on a team of I think it's 12 women And she's been there one week and she's like drama is unbelievable. She's like i haven't cried my job in five years I'm working with women for one week. I'm in the bathroom twice crying my eyes out Because they're caddy so women bring that emotion into the relationship. That's another thing the closer you get the more you're opening yourself up to the drama The life cycle of relationships Never heard the phrase that house guests and fresh fish go bad after three days Same thing relationships have a have a life cycle New dating relationships Charlie sheen once said you don't pay him for the sex. You pay him to leave so There's a lot to be said for that From my experience the shelf life of a new exciting relationship is about four to six months It even occurs if you're not totally exclusive with that With that one woman Even if you're getting some stuff on the side, it's still a four to six month life cycle on that And unless she's your super duper ideal woman That you've been looking for and you know what you want That's the exception to the rule But the old phrase the bumper sticker no matter how hot she is some guy somewhere is sick of her shit It's kind of the case. So here's what you look for it in relationships at the three to four month mark for you Her physical flaws become more noticeable. You're like, oh, I might have noticed her feet before You know I didn't notice her teeth This is great Second thing for you she starts pushing you for some sort of commitment Now the third thing for you at the three to four month mark Her unusual quirks become less cute and more annoying. You're like, yeah, that was cute before but now Gotta hate that phrase You know the idea of the girl. She said wow really It's just guess so the first it was cute that it came annoying So for her at the three to four month mark In your relationship that you know the girl she's typically She's thinking hey, he won't promise exclusivity. I want to know that he's just banging me and nobody else The second thing that happens he spends too much time with his friends His work His hobbies so her demands are for more time At the three to the three to four month mark for her, um, he doesn't validate me enough And then she finally comes to realization. Hey, you know what this guy's just using me. He's not here for the long term So that's what happens at three to four month Then it takes another two months for either party to Get up the nerve to break the thing off. You know, nobody wants to be hurt So it takes another month two months to go. Oh, you know, I'm in this bad relationship I gotta I've got to break it off And the life cycle the relationship. So just three to four month thing I've made this mistake twice in my dating life don't ever ever ever Really see never but this is never Whatever you do, even your most drunken emotionally vulnerable state Or when the sex is really really good Never let those three words come across your lips because as soon as you say those three words that she wants to hear That will haunt you in trying to break off the relationship where they're So the three four month mark she's looking for the I love you So that's the problem with, uh With relationships there's a lot up against you in a typical traditional dating relationship um the second thing, uh the dangerous about being in a exclusive with one woman in a long-term relationship Oh question Sorry Can you elaborate a little bit more on why you don't want to say I love you? Well, here's what I think if you really believe that Then you need to be in the relationship with her um It's a difficult thing. I'll we're gonna talk a little bit about multiple Long-term relationships and that's probably a better answer than that in that deal It's a dangerous phrase to say to a woman because when it just kind of we can say it But when you say it to her it really locks her in And I think the problem with it There's nothing wrong with loving things. I love my daughters. I love my mother. I love my aunt Uh, there's other female relatives. I love I trust my mother. I trust my daughters. All of the women have to prove themselves And what happens is that when you're trying to establish the frame in the relationship Which I'm going to talk about that I love you Really hurts your frame in a major way. It's like being sideswiped by a semi-tractor trailer The other thing that's a problem with the relationship. It's going to be your money or your life We're still in a culture where it's predominantly the male's responsibility the father's responsibility to provide Even though women now have as much opportunity as guys you'll find that in jobs for the marketplace You what you really have to come across is that You have to decide in a relationship you can do the relationships that I that I seek now with women It's either on an even kill. It's 50 50 as far as treating for things going places But the last relationship I was in I paid for Drinks on date number one went to hear a friend's band play This girl happened to know the band too. We had some mutual friends in common. We go out to listen to the band I buy around she right buys around After that everything else in the relationship was paid for by her She paid for all the dates I would go to happy hour and invite her to come out with my friends. She would pick up the tab um She bought me a pass To universal studios for the air. She wants to spend time with me. She bought me the pass She bought me a pass to seaworld bush gardens aquatica so I could do that with her So you got to decide in a relationship and in life what your view is about money and whatever your expectation is It's going to come across it's going to leak out in the things that you say and have in your expectation Last night when I was on that date The bill came and I didn't even flinch to reach for my wallet. In fact when I talked to her earlier the day before about hanging out I cleared it up. I said you treat this time and I'll pick up the next time Now when I hang out whether I'm probably not going to do something that's expensive. I'd rather do something that's fun Because I am a tightwad I'm frugal So I don't think you got to spend money to get laid. I don't think you have to spend money to have a good relationship with a woman In fact, if you're a little bit more creative, you're not going to spending money at all So you have to decide for yourself, especially at a young age before you become encumbered with a woman What's your views are about money debt How hard you want to work? How much you want to work? You got to you got to now is the time to be thinking about your views on retirement It comes fast. Let me tell you 20 years from 20 to 40 Zooms right by Huge 20 years of uh compound interest That's those 20 years you're going to be working probably not your prime earning years. You make a lot of money Good chance to put money aside But you got to decide about that because a woman will come along and you get a serious relationship with her Especially if you end up deciding to take the leap and be married Or you're going to co-habitate and you're going to start a family Her views about money Are going to be really she's going to want to put those on it depends on her personality But you have to be strong about that because you know, what's the number one thing the couples fight about? Money finances if you look at all the divorces. What's the number one cause of divorce? It's finances And let me tell you when you're in there and you're married to a woman You got a joint checking account and you can say what you want But if she can write checks, you know, it doesn't matter what your spending plan is She can write a check. She can spend your money. I've lived through that. It's brutal. It's painful. It's frustrating So word of the wise you got to decide now how it's going to be and you got to stick to your guns I got a friend of mine who always talked about frugality and he's Talking about hooking out frugal the other guy But um, he's smart with his money. He doesn't spend a lot. He's invested well and uh, he lives a pretty Stress-free lifestyle Because what will happen in your relationship? Why finances is such a death knell to marriage Is that Money problems and the stress that that cause on you Affects your relationship you you stress that about money you're in debt You owe You owe all these creditors you spent you outspent your income That stuff puts so much pressure back on the relationship that You know you get sick of talking to her you get sick of arguing with her She's going to shut off the sex That's why the marriage is that's why finance is so bad. So You decide how you feel about money come up with a plan There's a lot of great resources out there and then you got to stick to your guts And when you meet a woman you got to tell her that's how you feel about money You know if if the woman's interested in you because you have a car nice cars are nice But usually when I see somebody driving around a nice car, they drive our payment so You get involved with a relationship and a marriage with a woman. She's going to tell you Hey, I'd like to have a nicer car. I'd like a bigger car for the kids Can we get that big SUV and all of a sudden you're spending things that that you never would So you have to decide what's worth going into debt for The other thing that's wrong with An exclusive relationship that you get into marriage baby mama drama the biggest cost to Having a child with a woman is the emotional cost Finances you can always make more money But the emotional damage the stress on that it's harder to recover from If you get pregnant with a woman you can make it a 20 year commitment to her So another reason to use Trojan brand condoms, right? It's a 20 year commitment children are expensive private schools expensive college is expensive Um That's the problem. So those three things you you look at the problems inside the relationship You're gonna look at the the drain that it could be on your potentially in your bank account And then if you have kids with a woman You got to look at the risk there. There's going to be a lot of financial emotional cost involved with that Because if the odds play out against you and you're the one that gets divorced You're still stuck with this woman if you have children with her She's going to be in your life the rest of your life whether you like it or not So all the more reason to Choose wisely That first time around so those are things to avoid mistakes in in the relationships Um I told you the second thing I want to talk about today is what to embrace Uh, I didn't have this when I was 21 I Got married right out of school. I think I just I was it turned 22 years old three weeks after that I got married I didn't have it. I learned it later. I learned it over the years and then was able to kind of put it into uh Into words after looking back and go wow, I know what I know how to have the relationship now There's two things that that battle That battle you in having good frame Because good frame helps you in every area of your life. It helps you in business It helps you in your relationship with women Good frame is also very important when you have kids someday The frame that I portrayed to my daughters is That's what I'm communicating to them about what a valuable guy is You know, it's like avoiding the word princess Making sure that they understand about personal responsibility Um Comes back to two things the hardest thing That will attack your frame is when you have attraction for a woman Back to that bumper sticker no matter how hot she is some guys somewhere sick of her shit But when she's really hot It is really difficult to hold your frame When she is what you're looking for and she's hot It's hard for that frame not to go right out the window Because normally in our society when boy sees hot girl That's all boy sees is hot girl. It's anything else. She's hot. That's what I want It's anchored it gives her some power over him And whether you like it you feel it and so you either ignore her you try to reestablish your frame in the relationship But a lot of times is she's got something about her. It's either her looks Or her economic power You know, I'll say I'm attracted to women that are financially successful It's pretty hot to me because I know that they're going to take me nice places Nothing wrong with that Um, this could be job status. She has it could be her social status There's something about her that flips the switch in you and the problem is is that excuse me Sometimes we give up our frame and you know, you're giving up your frame when you're showing too much interest to her while she's present in the room Uh, you're only focusing your efforts on her. It's the only girl you can think about you kind of forget Hey, I'm gonna have to talk to any of the women because I really wanted to work out with this girl Um, you're buying her stuff. You you know if you're out It happens in an instance. You see a girl like, you know, she'll be the exception. Excuse me, Matt She'll be the exception. Um I'll buy her a drink you think about her too much Or the guys that lose their frame, they start taking her on dates Now back into hey, you know, she's the exception to the rule Uh, you lose your frame another way, you know, you're losing a frame is this girl calls you're answering her phone call every time she calls You're talking to her a lot on the phone You're being available when she wants you Not necessarily the other way around. Hey, here's when my schedule allows And the other thing you know that you're you've got uh, your frame is being attacked with attraction is that you tolerate poor behavior I think over time you learn to have like the zero tolerance for that but uh The way maybe she treats your friends I know i'm susceptible to it. I can think of a real a good example um Of a friend that's really interested in this girl but It started out is that she had the princess mentality And when she would come hang out with us she would kind of blow us off You know Poor behavior, you know what if you're with a girl She should like your friends your friends should like her and if they don't that should be a big warning sign to you Um, all that stuff that women want you to chase them. They want you to Show them nice displays of affection treat them by the majoring take them out on a date A lot of what women call romance. I think is Chodeness You know, it's being a sucker If you could take a magic pill at the beginning of the relationship And it would give you vision to see some of her faults Some of her weaknesses some of the things that are going to annoy you down the road Your frame would be much stronger up front So i've started doing a new thing in my phone when I get a girl's number and I put it in I've got her first name her last name or however i'm going to remember You know, here's her name and I met her downtown at such and such a club so I can remember who she was But in the middle i'll stick in there something about her that I don't like Yeah, i'm looking for the fault Oh, she's got a great body, but you know in the face So I got her first last name and faces in the middle Um She's got another girl in there, uh Annoying I let's see what's in my phone. Let's see what I got. I'll get it in here Oh one girl I met beautiful girl I've seen her downtown before my friend Patrick and I saw her out on a date with a guy one time Gorgeous blonde really good-looking girl I go out just to talk to her hang out fight a little bit more about her And find out the reason she didn't remember me from downtown is she's a recovering alcoholic Oh my god, this is not going to work. So under her name. I've got dry in the middle So I'm picking out things about them. I don't like just to keep my frame in the right mind This woman's got faults of her own It wouldn't work out between me and her because I'm the world's worst AA sponsor It doesn't work Um So you've got to you've got to keep your frame in mind let's see The other thing is you have a sense of you're attractive. This kind of comes down to some intergame stuff How you feel about yourself is going to become evident to anybody that you interact with in your mannerisms especially into relationships, so Um You have to feel intergame that you're an attractive guy Oh, there's the business philosopher. His name is Jim Rohn. Not the radio guy who does the sports There's another wise old guy that teaches a lot about business And I like his his quote is success is not something you pursue. It's something you attract by the person you become so part of the success that You get in your life when you're an attractive man is the people that you attract to your life so What can you ask yourself? What kind of people do I attract? You have to think about your circle of friends Who you hang out with who are the guys that I hang out with? Um, who am I attracting to my life? How do you become more attractive as a man? Here's some questions. It's a mental checklist here. How many books have you read in the last month? Um, how much time do you think you take to Meditate on your existence and the meaning of your life? Um, when's the last time you learned a new skill hobby? How much time do you spend pursuing the hobbies that interest you most? Uh, is there anything that you've always wanted to do as an instrument? Do you hear people say? Oh, you know, I've always wanted to play the piano. I always want to play the guitar Yeah, what are you doing to pursue things like that? Um, when's the last time you did something for the very first time you did something new? How many friends did you make last year and keep last year? How many new friends did you make? Um, how have you been working on your health? How often do you do something creative and cool for somebody else? A family member or friend? Um, when's the last time you traveled somewhere you've never been before? All these things really are varied and widespread, but they really come back to things that change you on the inside and make you a more attractive person When you when you talk about somebody, I mean look at the whole pickup game You can run routines and do things or you just talk to somebody about what you read recently Hey, you know, I was just reading this book the other day or hey, let me tell you where I just get back from I just get back from Costa Rica So if you picture yourself sitting at a table Somebody's house with all your friends and everything was stripped away your car your clothes all that other stuff Sports you know the common news. What would you really have to talk about? Do you have really anything going on inside of you? That's of interest to other people that makes you unique An idea that you can talk about because it really comes down to that with people You know, if you have ideas and things you can communicate and articulate Um, it's it's very attractive to other people. So are you attractive that that gives you a strong frame? Um, I think you need to travel outside of your comfort zone How many show hands who's been ever traveled outside the United States? A lot of people In the past year who's traveled outside the United States? Good for you guys It gets out of your comfort zone. Uh, I think it puts a lot of things in perspective for your frame It's good to go to another country and see how women treat men It's good to go to another country and see how women treat American men It's a good boost for you America's a place everybody wants to come If you travel there, you realize, hey, I'm an attractive guy. It's spite of when you come back here Everything's geared toward yeah Good question Just stops making a quick note on that when I was in the military I was stationed in japan for a few months and one thing I noticed was that A lot of american service members they would go there and come back with a wife It was like a running gag and they would cook and clean for them. They liked you they would buy them I was like what they buy you stuff for you It's one guy said he bought her she bought him a house and like You're a toky or something and you come back in america. It's like oh, I'm a girl blah blah blah Once you've seen that stuff in other countries, like, you know, you can do better Yeah, exactly you go to another country realize how attractive you are or the the script is flipped. I mean in america Being macho or machismo as they say it is that's taboo. It's bad, but you go to another country and you see that in other cultures Um, I'll get to that in a minute Let me zip through this. So frame you've got it. You got to cultivate your talents. You need to travel. You need to be well read You need to act more like a hot babe You know, when you're interested in a woman, you need to flip the script and be the hot babe You need to think hey, you know what? I'm not going to return all her phone calls. I'm going to wait to call her back You know what? She should treat me. She should take out eat I'm going to talk to other women cool. What does the hot girl does she all guys are hitting on her all day long So you need to act more like the hot babe question Are we okay on time anthony? All right So you're going out like you're going like you're reading books You're you're going to other countries to to be attractive. You're doing all this shit for girls So that's like it if you think about it in a way That's like a really supplication like you're doing all this shit to be more attractive for girls You find that like messes up your frame No, actually, I'm doing that for myself. Okay. I'm going places that I want to go say gotcha So I could say hey when I'm hanging out with people You never know it could be it's good. You're talking about your friends. It could be a client You got to do a deal with a client This whole stuff about being attractive Is serves your entire life not just women women find it attractive But there's everybody else You go to a dinner party a social event a business networking event and you're having a conversation about Where you've been you find out somebody's been there all of a sudden you have a connection with them So being well reading having read the same book that somebody read to have that discussion So it's not chasing. It's not doing things to attract women. It's becoming a more attractive man If you know you're an attractive man Then your frame is stronger because you know that you bring something to the table Acting more like a hot babe Wait a few days to answer email cancel a date out of the blue for no reason cancel on her You know go out with somebody else. They have cancel on her Some hot women do it all the time and you won't be so locked into one woman Expect her to treat you dinner movies drinks places Be hot babe. I mean that's about becoming attractive. You feel you're really attractive It's like a rock star movie stars when they go to places they go to restaurants. Hey You're special. Let's treat you. Let's take care. You have to pay for that. We got that mr. So-and-so They go to what the red carpet events the movie stars the rock stars they get bags of Really call that swag stuff we all get you know, they they're treated. Well, why they they're I'm a star Yeah, I'm an attractive person so people are going to do things for me So you got to adopt some of that into your front into your mind The other thing is you know Let's attract a list of life goals that you're working on and accomplishing that makes you an attractive person Having more than one woman that you're interested in time with it's good for your ego When more than one woman's interested you I mean that's It's a boost you don't get locked into that that one And um acting more like a hot babe women are always hot women are always getting hit on everywhere they go You know ring no ring So you need a regular method of adding new prospects Into the women that are kind of orbiting around you in your life One woman's not going to make or break you So that's another piece of of uh your frame being attractive um I know a blog I read a little bit about fear of rejection One of the problems with the traditional pickup type stuff where you're doing the pursuing and chasing I don't do as good a job as my friend patrick did last year We did a little presentation about non-chasing not chasing women But one of the things with traditional style pickup where i'm approaching i'm walking across the bar to the hot girl I'm going to interrupt her and her friends to give them some line um I'm coming over here to try to interrupt their conversation to get their attention to maybe see if I can do something That's flashy and they're going to be attracted to um Or try hard i'm walking into the venue and i'm not i'm dressed way more outlandish than I should be He just comes back to here. I'm looking for something from somebody and what happens is that the more you do that and get shot down I don't think going to opening and hey, I got to do x number of sets. It's going to be great for me Oh, this is super. She blew me out, you know The old line blow me or blow me out You do you really want to be blown out of that many sets because I think eventually it chips away at your self esteem No one likes fear fear rejection is so hard in life. It's it's why sales is a hard business It's why cold calling sales is tough because you don't want to pitch somebody and have them turn you down um So that fear of rejection coming back to being an attractive guy having a strong frame You don't approach everything that you see in the bar. It's not like hey I'm going to chase everything that comes along and let the numbers work out in my favor on the last thing I think that helps your your strong frame and I've alluded to this is um You know traditional dating I kissed it goodbye and and glad about that the whole thing you gotta That mean 10 minutes 10 minutes All right You guys can ask me questions later. Let me hit this real quick. Um multiple long-term relationship to answer your question Here's here's how you maintain them I got my notes because I can't remember all the wonderful things I think of right um More than one our society doesn't like multiple long-term relationships, but historically and especially the you know you look at People a long time ago guys had more than one wife before the law lost him along can't have more than one wife Hey guys did in the latin culture. What does every guy have? Who's attractive in the land culture? He's got a wife He's got his amante a mistress He's got a girlfriend the wife's long term for kids The mistress is a little bit more permanent and the girlfriend rotates in and out So it's something called. Why don't we have that in america? We should But um, you look at the upside of having more more than one relationship going on at one time is uh All the flaws that she has one particular girl won't bother you as much You don't act all goofy for one woman and forget your masculinity in exchange for sex Um varieties the spice of life Uh and one woman does not control you. So how do you maintain those multiple relationships? um frame And here's my guidelines um About the here's what you asked that question earlier was a good question about why not why don't you say I love you So here's my guidelines for maintaining relationships with multiple women Phone communication text messaging is just like once a week. Maybe twice not a lot of phone conversations. You got to maintain space No gifts cards Notes emails nothing romantic None of that stuff if it's dinner. It's at her house Maybe my house. I like to cook so I don't mind cook them. I'd rather be cooked for Uh, the relationships of sexual nature not a nurturing one So any request for time equals Sex every interaction needs to end with sex Um use compliments sparingly Especially in the heat of passion or in the afterglow, you know, that's careful at the end of that wouldn't she say, oh my god I really care about you I heard this recently Oh, you rock my world And you know, you want to be a nice guy you'd like to say something nice back She's gotta be careful. Number five don't get emotional with them Only enough emotion That they know you have some idol of care. It's not like I'm a user. I really if I'm in a relationship with this woman at some level I I do have some care for and I'm a hundred percent there when I'm there You know what? I'm respectful. I'm not rude But It's the nature of the relationship of the Henry Ford rule Everybody knows who Henry Ford was great rule Always meet your subordinates at their office that way you can leave when you are finished So if you miss that one meet her at her house The whole thing of dating going on a date. Hey, just cut cut. We don't date you come to my house. I go to yours Brent with The absolute power date. That's his deal. Hey I think paul jenka does that too. Hey the best place for me to get to know you is my house or your house Um, you really dig this girl one of your Or Twice a week with any one particular woman's the maximum if you need more sex go find another woman A limit overnight stays. That's a big emotional benchmark for a woman Um Staying overnight unless you have a really strong friend can be a real boyfriend girlfriend-ish So you got to you got to maintain a little emotional space Um, the whole relationship is kind of a balance. You're not using her. She's not using you But you'll find in most of these relationships when a better deal comes along for her She'll leave and move on. There's nothing wrong with that. That's great. And it makes it easier It in fact, it's a lot easier on her and you if she's the one that tells you goodbye You know, if you're the one it's because more difficult if you're the one having to say goodbye all the time And when you have options like that now, you're the hot babe Let's say one girl calls you she's kind of annoying. It doesn't matter because if I don't see you Tuesday That's fine because I'm going to see this other girl on thursday God, I hope this doesn't show up on the internet Okay, two last things here are going to help you real quick get some male friends get some good male friends Okay Um I'll say this about the community. There's some dorky things about the whole pickup community. We can all admit that All right, you meet people some goofy people in it Um, I did goofy stuff when I first found out about it because I thought everything that uh Neil wrote in the game. I could just copy Does everybody remember going out? I got to get something to peacock with I got to go to the magic store and get some tricks I got to learn some magic What did you need is you need to get some good normal friends? You know, what's the irish grandmother says show me your friends and I'll tell you who you are I'm real fortunate that through the community. I found Three by three closest friends now are guys that I met through the community Um, so you need some good friends in your life because when you are acting like can I say douchebag When you're acting like a douchebag, they're going to come to you and say, hey, you know what? Really? Um, you know, I've done that. I've done the intervention before um Get some friends get some good friends So you're not always thinking about girls. You're not always thinking about going out to get to find a woman I got a sergeant got to get sex hang out with your friends In fact going out and doing the whole sergeing thing It's it's tiring you get burned out if you once you do it enough you're just like I don't want to do that But if you go out you got to hang out with your friends and have a good time people will notice that Look at my guy. Look at those guys out there having fun. They're not coming across the bar to talk to me So get some male friends. It's good for your frame If you must pick just one You've got to figure out One of the note on your friends, um Find friends especially I don't know where you guys are at in the stage of Being involved in the community or what you do But find some friends that are good at social dialogue They're really how to talk to people that talk to a wide variety of people those are the guys you want to Hang out with So may a good people person he can talk to anybody That's you kind of want to hang out with because you'll learn more hanging out with guys like that Um, if you have any friends that make people feel weird or uncomfortable You know you say dude, you know what you're really freaking me out, you know You want to let them orbit a little further around you people come into your life and some people orbit It's almost like you got your own little Solar system Some people your closest friends orbit around you Really close you spend a lot of time with them other people you got to make sure that they only come around once a month You know, there's other people that need to orbit around you once a year that they come around So you got to be careful who you're hanging out with because you will become like those that you hang out with And if you're hanging out with guys that are socially retarded You're not going to grow So you got to seek out and you got to you've got to improve yourself and become more attractive person Because you want You want friends that challenge you you want friends that stretch you and make you grow Enough about friends if you've got to pick just one You're dying you got to be you know if I had to pick just one You find a side you want to get married or you want to be exclusive with a woman I think in my limited experience of what a woman brings to the table And I had a good female friend mine really get pissed off when she read my blog and I read in there But here's what I think a woman brings to the table one is nurture She brings in physical affection a listening ear words of encouragement. That's a really good thing in relationship You know a woman that's into you and she tells you something nice That's that's very nurturing to you. The second thing she brings to the table is a sexual relationship Um She brings it to the table if she enjoys it she initiates it And she seeks to please you you want a woman who said this so I've heard this Hey, you don't mind aggressive women do you? That's a good thing to hear now. She should initiate some of the sex. All right hospitality If you got to pick just one woman find one that knows about hospitality She cooks for you. She finds out your favorite beer or your favorite beverage. She keeps it around Um, she knows how to make people feel comfortable in her home or her apartment or if she's at The other thing she brings to the table companionship Is this woman really interested in helping you achieve your goals? Or are you just a piece of her puzzle in her life to help her achieve her goals? You know, I was in a relationship with a girl for six months and she told me Hey, would you have another child? I'm like, yeah, maybe I would I don't know that yet. Well the six month mark She gave me the heave-ho which is just fine with me But she's like, hey, I don't think you're gonna stick around and have a baby with me that woman had an agenda It wasn't about what I wanted. It was about I was a piece of her puzzle So companionship is she really interested in your goals? Other thing the woman brings the table childbearing We can't do that. So if you want to have kids, you've got to find a woman for that But she's got the desire and the mental health to raise good kids You know, it can't be like hey, I want this the best way for that is to look at a girl and ask her Really get serious a woman. Don't do it till you meet her mom Spend some time around her mom because that's you know what? Acorn ever falls far from the tree. That's who she's going to end up being like May take 20 years, but she'll get there So if her mom doesn't take care of herself for her mom's a nag if her mom's annoying if her mom's been married three times For moms and alcoholic if mom's an abuser For moms in abusive relationships That's the kind of stuff you're looking at because guess what that's what The little princess saw growing up So that's what they bring to the table Here's the following morning signs red flags pay attention to these signs because These women rarely bring anything to the table Any three of these things five minutes. Okay She tells you how much she enjoys eating out. She doesn't get sexual with you by the third date She tells you that she doesn't cook I hate that the only thing I make her dinner reservations. Ah annoying She's affectionate, but she always asks you what the next date's going to be. Oh, what are you going to do next time? She doesn't invite you over just to hang out. Yeah, if you've known a woman any More than a couple weeks and you've never been to her place bread flag She says she's taking an emotional risk with you She has predominantly couples or married friends She still lives with her parents. Now. I know if they're still in college. That's all right Um if she's annoyed with children Here's the signs that you got to keep her These are the women that I look for us to hey, you know what I want to be involved in With you Okay, here's the bad signs Run when you see these things a little basket by the sofa filled with frayed cat boys If she has a copy of dr. Phil's book love smart you see that in the bookshelf go the other way If she's got cat hair cat smell pets smell on her furniture now Her shoe rack in her closet is overflowing with shoes, but she's got no decent liquor in her house That's a bad sign If her refrigerator is more of a museum of condiments, then it is actually a source of nutrition run the other way And always look in her bathroom and if her birth control packet Has pills in it for monday and tuesday and it's wednesday. That's a problem Here's what it looks like. Here's you know when you have a keeper and here's what I look for Uh, you go to her place. That's what I want to see girls place um Hurl because if you start inviting girls over to your house She never know when one of them's going to be like the stalker type and try and buy and oh Oh, whose car is that? So the Henry Ford rule you mean about their house So if you're going to meet your subordinates at their house because you're looking for her whole place is clean and well kept That is a really good sign Um, she has a dog clean and well behaved I just hate cats Does he might have a cat any guys have a cat in the room? Yeah, get rid of the cat Wrong convention, um I'm just kidding. That's fine. That's fine. Cats are not chick magnets dogs are Greyhounds are the best chick magnet ever get a greyhound. All right. Um comfortable matching furniture She's got a choice of liquor liquors and mixers. She knows how to make a drink That's a lost skill women from the 1950s could make a good martini for you. You come in and guess what? She's in it's look leave it to beaver. That wasn't that far from the truth Um Refrigerator is stocked with real food And she has clean sheets and her bed is made. That's what I look for On top of other things Here's the things you're going to hear when you find a keeper like that a girl one of the one of the girls that you would going to be involved with in a Relationship she's going to say things like this which I wrote them down because I've heard them all Do you like it when I touch you like this? I'm cooking something that you're going to love Or a version of that is hey, can you come over because I'm going to make you and she tells you what she's going to make you Last thursday. Hey, can you come over? What would you like? Would you like filet mignon? Do you like muscles? I'm going to try a new appetizer out on you. That's That's what you want to hear. Um She says sit down relax. Let me get you a drink You'll rarely you it's rare, but you hear it. Uh, there's a girl I hang out with I walk in she says sit down Let me get you something to drink. It's a good thing. Um Had a girlfriend. I always said I would sometimes say hey, you're a great guy. That's a good thing. She says that she could be an uber Had a girlfriend once every time she talked to me. She'd say hello handsome I mean these are these are things that women will say I'm not going to do that, you know And then the other thing they say is hey, when can you come see me? And even if you don't they're still interested if you go four months and you haven't even seen her You call her up and talk to her again. She's like, hey, when can you come hang out? That's when you have a keeper. So if you've got to pick one do that um In conclusion I guess you got to figure out what you want out of life You know you figure out if you want to take that typical career path I'm going to go to school. I'm going to get married or I'm going to go to school. I'm going to have a career I'm going to make some money I'm going to get some bling a nice car a nice house. I want to find a nice girl. I'm going to get married I'm going to have kids Can get divorced you got to figure out what you really want You know, do you want to travel? Do you want one woman? When do you when do you think you want to have kids think about that stuff? And if that's playing in your mind, you really know your goals and what you want It'll change the interactions that you have with women because they're going to derail you You got your agenda. She has hers. So you got to figure out what you want You got to read lots of books just say books on personal development Talk to guys who are older and wiser. You look at somebody who's successful in business that you want to talk to Look at a guy that's successful woman. That's who you want to hang out with somebody who's good socially That's who you want to talk to Travel go other places see the world America is such a small place I mean the culture is so ingrained here, but you go other places you come back and go wow Man Things I thought were important aren't you know, it'll open you it'll open you up So you really can't make any apologies for being a guy culture, especially now And not to be political, but the climate of our country is You're a guy. It's it's not the second-class citizen, but You know if you if you know if you're a guy you've got the you've got an advantage. I mean, which is not true so You can't make apologies for being a guy Well, I have a friend from brazil and she said this she's like you american guys apologize too much You're in a crowd you bump somebody you go. Oh, excuse me. Oh the guys don't do that in brazil like Hey, fuck out of my way It's machismo Did you hear a girl say that you got an american guys apologize too much? All right, so um Yeah, I'm not the first guy and along with my guys to tell you that our society is feminized western culture kind of feminizes men Um, a lot of us have done that you can't attack feminism because it really doesn't do you any good The the good fight is personal change You've got to reclaim the ground that you were born to hold it is not an american ideal being born a man being having a birth right is not Is not an american culture ideal. That's an old ideal in a lot of countries still have this It's not it's not fair. Maybe not fair to women, but life's not fair. Um But you've got to reclaim your birth right. You're born a man Um, you got to pursue interchange your identity. You got to make yourself a better person not to chase women You're doing it for yourself um You got to embrace the fact that you get testosterone. It's a good thing. You're horny. You're charged up. You like to fight, you know You fight for things that you care about you're passionate about um A lot of guys have said this and that's probably like the closing comments is that you know, it's okay to be a man act like a man um if you kind of had a A mom that didn't feel that way or you had teachers that said, hey, you know You got to be a gentleman. You got to open the door You've got to that there's nothing wrong with that but the idea is that You're holding somebody else on a pedestal. It's not actually you're a guy. You have a right to be on the pedestal um Don't take the feminist party line From your ex-girlfriend your ex-wife um About how you should behave. Oh, you should do this you should do that now You've got to be the one to set the stage you got to determine how you're going to behave or not behave You got to determine what you want in life and that you're going to go after it So it's us and us alone. We got to make that decision No one else is going to grab your big boy pants Pull him up. You know, you got to be the one You got to make that decision that you're going to make the change um But and and I think the cool thing is that you know found this last night with this girl is um She was paying for the bill, but she handed me the menu She goes, I really like it when a guy orders for me You can decide what I'm going to eat. She's like, it's really cool. She's like, hey, I like strong men And I'm like, oh, hey, you know, that's really cool. So You have to decide That that's okay To be like that to be strong because when anthony does stuff like this you come to these conventions And you read books even if you read stuff in the pickup community that changes your paradigm And you think about new things you read a new book you go somewhere and your mind is changing That's the kind of personal change that you need to have So you guys, you know the the whole world's in front of you. It's kind of like your oyster You're going to be like the top 3% How many other guys in the country right now are in a conference or in a convention on a sunday morning Trying to become better guys stronger guys, you know It's so you guys can be the top 3% you don't have to take that traditional path That's all I have. I don't have time for q and a or i'll stick around if we don't Okay Hey, thanks for your time. You guys are a great audience