 And that's how I stopped the Gallipoli fights He just fucking learned hot cross buns. I mean I had I knew it as a kid, but I'd forgotten it This is the arse flute. I swear I'd forgotten it. I had no idea what I was doing. Just the fans on man Turn the fucking fan off Matthew Brown listen to the sound difference. Oh So much crisper now This is episode number three of the Martin Michael fully actual podcast and we are fucked we're fucked man yesterday Let me tell you about the week we've had yesterday We filmed another episode for our upcoming series which sport is the scariest and we gotten did and the MMA episode Oh my god, that's the scariest. Oh, we can't really say this yet. Well, yeah We can't we can't give you the what happened, but we didn't sleep much the night before and it's fucking terrifying Fucking terrifying and we're very sorted a but we're very grateful that we got out of it alive. I got choked out Yeah, my god completely blackout. It's like you are gone It feels like you're gone for half an hour, but you're literally gone gone in another dimension than that Hey, it's like DMT. I'd relate getting choked out similar to DMT and now Michael's always like just nudging me Come on. Just choke me out. Check me out. Well, I reckon I can see why girls like it Maybe we should start doing it when we're wrestling. Oh Oh, no, just kidding. We don't wrestle. Yeah, I'm too scared to wrestle. I actually do wrestle sometimes Yeah, he's a bit of a wrestle member after drinking ma. Did I wrestle you? No, you wrestled Jaden I wrestled a little bit. He always fucks me up. I can fucking soccer players We're fucking trying to organize an episode with the Brisbane raw players and they're all legends But the fucking admin of these Sporting fucking associations associations. It's just ridiculous. No, no, you can't film a video with them It's it's bad media. How's it fucking bad media? It's just a couple of fucking soccer players kicking some balls at us Wait, maybe I just had a thought the reason why they don't like us because we fucked with AFL and AFL is a sport and Soccer's a sport. So somehow they're connected. So no anyone was sport No, because I hit him up last year the beginning of last year to do a video as well them and the Broncos the same shit So it's just no, sorry. Like it's just like they're lucky to work with us How do they not know that it's not benefit? It's mutually beneficial for them Like we're not gonna that we don't have to mention raw We don't have to mention anything to do with a fucking club We just want a couple of their players to kick a few balls at us. Are you are you unable to go to the players directly? Yeah, that's what we did, but they had to go to admin No, they they themselves went to admin because I have to clear it because they can't they can't just do they Can't do something keepers. So I've seen Broncos players do photo shoots, which is obviously similar They'd probably get that have to get cleared by all their fucking by their dumb fucks all the dumb fucks in admin Yeah, so we probably won't have we will have a soccer. Yeah, we will just more fucking work now We're gonna really try hard to find we can get Jay. Yeah. Yeah. We well. Yeah, we definitely a retired player Yeah, that's what we're looking at now retired dogs. Look at this man. Oh, wait, wait, wait, listen Get up God weak. It was weak. We got the flute on standby I really I've been like I've been it's been keeping me up a bit thinking about this if I nail this That I'll fucking stop sweeping you shit Small small, but very bad I've been fucking stressin that this that once I managed to play imagine if I play hot cross buns on the Can you we be able to do the ring one? And then everyone will be like, oh, you're that guy can play hot cross buns with these fire Oh with these are Maybe you win a Grammy Fuck me it is art. It's fun. He's already let out two fucking Rippers and he fucking didn't even get the flute. I can't even record. I can't even fart while not filming the podcast now Because I'm gonna get so annoyed at me. Have you tell you he's got to save them You've got to fucking save them. Have you tested where you're gonna put it exactly and is Michael needing to assist? Possibly this is uncharted waters. No one's ever done this before. This is what we do We do shit that no one's ever done before It's probably happened before. Hey, yeah, probably like but not as well, you know There's a lot of there's a lot of practice that no one's got like a fart like you So yours is gonna be different because your fart is so far man There are guys out there who can who can do this like on fucking call. Yeah, they suck air up their ass Yeah, then they can just let it go. Did you know that math Matthew? I think I'm just the only idiot in the world who is willing to film it and put it online. No, okay No, it's not it's smart dude. It's fucking cool. I'm jealous We have to blur a bit. Oh, yeah Hell yeah, baby Baby boy, oh, is it blurred like every time that we have course it fucking is mate I thought you can't even see your ass. Oh, it's just me that can see it We have to we have to side of your bum as you get all of it We have to follow to the pressures of social media today Which reminds me this podcast is sponsored by the fucking best fucking website in the fucking world All right, if you want to support us support the podcast don't sign up to our website We've got weekly vlogs coming out. We do some fucking cool shit on there. We had a fight with sex toys We did the science experiment which sex toy hurts the most and it's not what it sounds like We didn't use them in the traditional way. We just fucking whacked each other with the whips and the fucking dildos and shit It's it's pretty fucking you'd be surprised Matt, which sex toy hurts the most yesterday We relived a story from about four years ago when we kidnapped a man and bashed him till he blew bashing Yeah, there's some fucked up shit on there shit We can't you know anyway if you want to support us sign up for that if you know if you can't don't have any money Oh good You can support us by fucking liking this I looked at the analytics half the people that listen to this podcast I don't even fucking subscribed. So if you want to support us Subscribe like leave a comment. You don't even need to think of a good comment Just comment the word comment and remember ask Matt questions because he's the question man ask Matt questions You can do whatever you want, but at the end of the day this podcast is sponsored by the University of Markle The fucking link for it. It's a 21 day free trial the link for it's in the description You can sign up for free if you don't like the content you can fucking leave if you like us and you just want to help Us out. That's what you got to do be with it We don't have merch at the moment. So you can't buy our merch and we're sitting here in a sweaty shit hole There's no air con with a fucking flute on standby to shove up my ass. It's not a but we also have The fucking German segments and I can't wait for that All right, actually back to the University of Markle Matthew How's that going? Yes, Matthew? Have you signed up and what do you think of the latest videos? You're one of our closest friends. I'm sure you would have signed up. Of course. He would have signed up Michael Don't be so ridiculous I'm assuming he's laughing because he's remembered something funny from one of our vlogs on the website um I'm working on it. We'll see what I'm talking to you talking to the banks in the Hey section so I can you talking to the banks. Yeah. Hmm. Okay. Oh, there's some in the transaction Hmm. Well fucking we got a jam-pack fucking episode. We got from German segments. We got paranormal stories We got a PM on boxing. I'm pretty sure there's a we got the hunt. I'm pretty sure there's a dick in this Yeah, we got the hunt update and of course, we've got a fucking prank. Oh, you fucking lucky dogs. Look at my fucking hair Looks good Let's go point at the front. All right moving fucking right along fucking to fucking on these days. Is it Matt? What did you how long did these ones taking Matthew Gregory Brown? Brown how long did the on these days take you this week Matt? Long time. Yeah, okay anything you want to talk about before I get into him or you just sort of want me to Just get in looking cute, isn't he? He's looking nervous. I think maybe he's have you written something you regret? Well, I guess we'll find out. All right. You ready? Oh You ready? Yeah, I'm ready On this day in 1925 Thomas found a trampoline in the forest Thomas dragged the trampoline home and used it to send food to villages across the river He would find a chicken grab it by the neck so tightly that it would crush its windpipe He would then sling the lifeless corpse into the trampoline with all his strength The trampoline was angled in such a way that it launched the dead chickens across the river to feed the people on the other side Thomas was a hero until he slaughtered all of the chickens on his own side of the river Thomas starved to death three weeks later. So the moral of the story is to leave trampolines in the forest We got to do a vid with trampolines. That is so fucking true Marty's alter ego is called trampoline. No Thomas. Sometimes he becomes Thomas and it's fucking funny, dude It's so good. He looks exactly like me It's weird Okay on this day in 2007 I literally just sat down in a small patch of grass We have outside the office so that I could take a few selfies while enjoying my lunch and within seconds The bit of exposed skin just above my socks was irritated the grass made my skin itch so badly I scratch and scratch but it itched so much like what the fuck I nearly had to go home from work But it stopped itching after it started bleeding from the scratching so hard Oh Fucking hell man. Yes. Yeah grassy On this day worthy, but oh fuck on this day in 2014 Ben Affleck got into a fight with an electric hand dryer He's publicly stated He doesn't understand the technology behind them and says they feel hot and weird similar to having a bear belch Continuously into your hands Affleck suffered a broken collar bone in the fight and said it just went off at him And he wasn't even standing near it. They do that sometimes. I've been they don't go off without you Oh, man I've been fucking washing my hands and then the fucking dog will start screaming at me Can't in the fucking corner of the fucking tallest count. It's happened to me multiple times me multiple times Multiple multiple multiple times Okay on this day three weeks ago Marty, please don't read this out loud I can't think of any other way to communicate with you without other people overhearing I've started hitting my girlfriend not hard Just open palm hits to the back of her head and some inside leg kicks when we're arguing Oh, and I put here put her in a guillotine last week until she said I was right I'm worried I might have some anger issues, man. I don't know what to do I'm frightened. I cower back into the shadows of my layer. I will re-enter this world again one day Oh All right, well, I guess moving on there Sorry, Matt Fuck that was like you've handed that to me though. Don't if you don't want me to read it. Maybe talk to me beforehand So there is layer What was the inside kicks the inside leg kicks? Look, I don't want to keep talking about we'll talk about this later, Matt But yeah, like if anyone out there has like anger issues or anything, there's help available, you know, no, I'm not Specifically talking about any anyone in example But but yeah, if you have huge anger issues like just you can go see someone like go to a council There's there's methods that they teach you to control your rage because yeah Any type of hitting is not is just not acceptable man Doesn't matter if it's open palm close fist inside leg kicks guillotine holds unless they Want it sexually Yes, unless they want to be smashed in the fucking skull sexually There's a movie on that with like Kate Hudson Come in what it was and Ben Affleck's brother. They did a movie about Sex fucking and violence sex fuck on a camera with those called and Jessica Alba She gets a like skull bashed in. Well, that's on these days and moving right along to the next segment I'm looking at Matt. No, I'm not sure What are we gonna do is the name of the next segment, which is where we answer questions that you guys have commented on our recent YouTube video if you want to leave a fucking question for us to fucking answer go to a fucking YouTube channel Marty and Michael fully act on the fucking YouTube and leave a comment in the fucking comment section We'll try and get to it. We don't read your comment this week. Try again next week God stop giving up so fucking easily ask you questions multiple times Yeah, it takes time like there's so many sometimes we can't get through them all Matthew He's shaking his head. He can't believe I've just revealed what he does Everyone's been sending in questions this week. Thank you. Everyone has very good everyone. Excuse me for raising my voice Mmm, I didn't think you raised your voice. That's just you actually wanted to start off with Someone who had a little issue with us. Oh fuck here. We fucking here. We go. They commented too much But then they put a little subcomment comment on there as well And they said this is to our video One more reason not to go to Brisbane or Australia in general shark snake spiders and knob heads Just listening like imagine the type of person you'd have to be to just go around you live Commenting on people who make content in a different country just writing shit better yet Imagine listening to a 58 minute podcast of people you hate Wasting an hour of your life and then commenting that shit-ass comment. It's just not we win We won. We won. What's his name? All of our feelings are her. I wasn't gonna give his name Give his name give his fucking name. Luckily. There's no name. He just calls himself or she just calls himself bubbles bubbles It's Michael Jackson's monkey Lego fucking Jackson's monkey is watching the podcast. I thought he was dead. He's fucked up, man He should why doesn't that thing live in a zoo? All right, how can it spell next question is from Shay Simpson Just a quickie lol Um What is a what is your favorite song at the moment? Oh shit, man. We're singing it just before oh, yeah It also says please sing a line or two. Yeah, fuck. We've got one in our head. Let's sing it I want to know what you're busy. We've got a new I'd like to know if you're doing anything tonight I'd like to know if you missed me. I'd like to know I'd like to know Yeah, that's so that's our new jingle Fucking it's not that good. They also said our big hugs from two Wumba I have I need to fight but it's not a big one. So I give it a go It's gone That's such a tease All right, next question is from Liam G Show me opened up a bar. When are you guys going to open up a bar? We're gonna. That's not in your front yard We're gonna we're not gonna open a bar. We're gonna open up a doctor's practice and where we're going to Sell out medicines from what are you guys open up a stand-up comedy club? Because it would just get shut down with fuck with lockdowns Yeah, no, and it's fucking it's like because we went and saw we went to memory lane a couple of weeks ago And that they're fucking busy as fuck. It's like it consumes their life now. Yeah, so fuck that well We've got we got enough shit to do Without yeah, we'd need like like show me he's got brothers. What have we got? Yeah, we've got We've got sister and brother. You don't even live here. It's like we don't have anyone Shit, we don't have any family man. Next question is from my thorn gaming you Know you guys have a thought about making a kid friendly or cartoon or just cartoon in general Like around you guys and your your science time and your stunts Yeah, the animators is hard to find a good one. It takes some ages and it's very expensive cost money We've got a couple episodes on this fucking podcast channel. Some of our controls got animated. There's the cat one You abusing me while I'm trying to order Peter Yeah, so we have had a dip in the animation pool. I believe the rack of boys did some Some voice work for cartoons with with Ludo studios. That would be fun Maybe Ludo can help you guys out. That's something I can get next question is from Andrew McKenzie Seriously has Marty been psychologically tested Never in my life. I got an autistic test. You haven't got one yet I feel like like I think back now to my childhood. I was so ADD so ADD I reckon you would have been the naughty kid in the car. I remember there were times when I was like I just I can't think like I remember thinking as a kid I can't fucking think right now trying to think of something and I can't do it. It's fucking weird man my brain would just get flutter off and My fucking diet probably didn't help just a fucking steady stream of bloody sugar so fucking Still can't Next question is from Taylor Dow Besides drugs money and art Do you boys have anything in particular that you enjoy receiving through your PO box? Nope Anything And I'm gonna the human shit was beautiful because maybe some breast milk The smell would be good Wouldn't would you be able to drink breast? No, not not by the time it's hot hot It freaks me out. I'd rather milk from a cow. There are any any recently Mothers any recent mothers who listen to the podcast just fucking milky tit into a little shot glass wrap some glad wrap tightly around it and send it to our PO box and Michael will stick his tongue in it and they will give it to Bosley. I won't drink it But yeah, I'll have a little little with you'll feel with it It could be cheese by the time it gets here tit cheese. Wow And then you put on your face like makeup and yeah Run on the front line Gallipoli Matthew, what would you like to be sent? Something nice. Thank you. No, you've been doing a lot of research Just to know that people care Yeah, fuck yeah, just anything and everything weird shit's funny. Yeah, just shit that looks cool Random shit. You see something in a store that you've never seen before sent to us like Like I saw these little bloody Kiwi. Yeah, there's a little Kiwi fruit berries Kiwi berries They're called all these big little Kiwis, but they're fucking berries. Oh yum. Yeah, they have to skin them They're in coles now. No, you just pop them in your mouth. I'm okay. Sorry We lost Matt for a beer Oh look at the smirk You guys got that. That's why I got distracted Leave him saying cut that too Matt's got one of those things on the chin there Bum chin. Yeah, I've never noticed. I've got a little a little dude. I've got that It's just a little I forgot I had that That's why I never shave completely. Really. There's a fucking bend in there I've got a little bit of a bend just here, but it's not like a and it's not like a full one I forgot I had that. Oh, yeah, I think I have a little one too, but you can't see mine. Oh Yes, yep. Okay. Do you want me to lube it with my mouth? No Okay, wait wait It's gone now man No, I was so excited My god, we were so close I will be doing this Okay, I just thought you weren't you weren't being fast. You can't it's no way that I would be able to withstand you touching my asshole with this There's no way well. I didn't know what to do. I got scared. There wasn't much time and look it sucked back up All right next question is from Shanstreeta I think they're Referring to how all the social media people are challenging each other to fight slightly This is but they say can you please fight the power fish as in willem power fish and then the winner can fight madman brad There you are mates. I don't think you know. Yeah, that's yeah I don't like that. We're all like the guys we know in social media were mates with it Wouldn't I can't punch a friend be it'd be silly. He's a madman brad trained though Yeah, he's done it. Yeah box or something. Yeah. Yeah, so that'll be a tough Yeah, no way would I do that? And willem. Yeah, he's be some He's killed people. Hmm. Next question is from a little bird Question for the Pog. What was that? That's looking very confused. Most Michael is to your phone The only one who knows where is his Marty? What the fuck is that? That's you Anyway, how'd you do that? science Next question the podcast including Matty boy Do boys like lobster and what's the weirdest sea creature you've ever eaten in Australia? Yeah, I fucking love a bit of lobster. Oh, so sweet and yummy the weirdest sea creature fuck I don't know. What's weird to people calamari octopus caviar. Oh, these are always seaweed Calamari as far as I'll go with seafood Yeah, Michael hates seafood. Oh, it's even so bad. What about a bit of fish? No Bit of crumbed brisket. That's not fish Marty. Yeah Next question is for Shaq keel from sorry, it's from Shaq keel or Neil Shaq keel or Neil. It's from Shaq keel or Neil. The former basketball player from the LA Watches our podcast. What is your favorite video game? Oh Fuck I play video games anymore So I'm gonna pass this over to Michael because he is excited. His knees are bouncing so fast right now Okay, I'm gonna put a few out there. Okay. There's fucking The classic worms that we were top ten in the world Okay worms Armageddon big deal. I fucking love that game. Isn't there a new one fable? Fable fable one two and three Unbelievable. Yeah, you love that. Oh, I got off over it. It was a high school thing walking on him wanking off to the female characters Yeah, there was some hot ones, but Yeah, and then like come on battlefield. It's always good for a war game. It's better than Call of Duty Red Dead Red Dead's great, but it's too big. I can't I don't have time Crash bandicoot It's just crashed shut up. Sorry Um, what about CTR crash team racing? That's sorry. I think that's what I was getting at But yeah, like all time. Fuck you can't it depends on the human for me if I could play through One two and three of fable again without never playing him before. I've seen you play a lot of golf Yeah, I'll enjoy a bit of golf, but fuck it depends on the mood. But yeah, I really liked fable as a little boy Girl, you should play that again. Hey What was the last video game you ever played Marty? Um, I can't even remember you loved bully. Yeah, bullies Bullies can it's can him edit I get I'd purposely just don't game because I feel like I'd yeah I would waste a lot of time and I wouldn't the very little sleep. I get it would be gone if I if I game It's um, it's fun. It's fun It's good fun. It's a good time. But yeah, GTA 5 is great too. Fuck. There's so many good games now There's a lot. Hey, I can't wait. Maybe 10 years time then VR come around and see a player It's a games with the glasses on and just sink another world. Huh? Is that to be fun? Next question is from Steven Hunt How would you feel about either one of you being cloned? Yeah, I'll be that'd be fucking great. That would be really good I'd fucking it'd be good to have a handshake with me and have a chat to me and and then we could split the work and like, yeah, like One of us could just go Go go sleep for the day, right? And now the one doesn't work and then we swap, right? That's pretty fair So you think about how productive you would be you fucking idiot? Yeah, I probably get cloned to you Sold it to me. What if your clones evil? Well, if you aren't an evil, what would your clone be? Can't say fucking can't can't it's just who you can't Very fucking best cut in the world count Next question is from mad Matt Marty would you ever consider doing a German prank call call to somebody in Germany? Speaking in German be hard for us to follow I think yeah and the time difference as well like in Germany right now It's like the middle of the night. It's like they're on the other side of the world So like we'd have to like wake someone up and like like we could do it Maybe we should do that like seriously No next question is from max ox long Would you rather pee needles or razor blades? Pea needles or shit razor blades. I would much prefer to shit razor blades Pissing needles. Are you fucking kidding me? Yeah, but they're thin they come out easier razor blades cut your I wonder if it fucking turns and jabs and digs into the side. Oh, I probably go pissing really I do Shitting out razor blades, but you can pull your ass cheek apart and raise like nah fit it's gonna be slicing the fucking colon Do man pissing fucking needles would be I've done it I've done that. Oh So it's not it's not good they get they turn they don't come out like this at all the time if they turn even slightly Jags and get stuck has it ever come out completely horizontal sideways. Yeah, man twice Look like a I have Mordor Next question from Lachlan war Do you have a do you have a day off during the week? No, not anymore When we first start we had a few but that's just a lot to do with the moment It's Monday that we're so we treat it like a nine-to-five job. We fucking come and we're fucking legends Nine-to-five, and then we go home and we're fucking quiet little quiet little boys We'll go to our nests and rest our bodies Have a little sleep and a bit of food. Fuck you and then we'll get up the next day door lower again Next question is from our friend Sabrina She's asking what does the code word shotgun mean you guys can explain that great Shotgun Terrible it's weak. That's like embarrassing Your ass is so loose There's not enough muscle around your ring. Oh My man, you've really swaffled that into me fucking cunt Sour bitch You're rotting inside. Oh, it's not food. Hmm. I sort of like it Shotgun is something that in Australia if you say, I don't know why it's shotgun But you say shotgun that means you have the right to sit in the front passenger seat of the vehicle that everyone's traveling in And everyone's rules are slightly different, but we've been playing this for 20 years, right? And we have fine-tuned the rules to the best Everything you're gonna be able to see the care. No, you fucking don't okay We've played like that before 20 years ago It's shit all it is is a race to the car and the same fucking person wins the whole time It can't be that it's not fair because then it's just whoever's the fastest gets to sit in the front That's not fucking fair. Is it so it's whoever when you're walking to the car to leave That's when you can say shotgun first person say but if you say shotgun and then you turn and you go to the Toilet you lose your shotgun someone else can then say you must be walking to even if you go to turn a light off You're doing something. It must be you're going to the car All right, also if both of you say shotgun at the same time Then it's like person. It's like jinx. So you got to say it again. It's a shotgun shotgun. Let's do it ready Shotgun shotgun shotgun shotgun then he would have had this that happened the other day We did with shotgun shotgun twice and then it was it was three people was it all three me No, it was just me you okay, but there were three people there Matt Matt Greg America's shotgun as well. I'm pretty sure they use the shotguns to shoot And they shot gun what with beers and shit I wonder why they said I wonder why it became shotgun, but they they say right they say riding shotgun because yeah, you're the shotgunner in the car Back in the 60s back in the 90s 60s next question is from Kristoff. I can say this in our same menu and uminates Yeah, that's it. You pronounce that perfectly In which German city was Marty born half a back. Oh I thought it was Berlin Huffleback What is that? It's the town where I was born man. What happened to Berlin you lied about Berlin. I leave me Berlin No, I know what you trapped in the fucking stupid little Berlin. They were trapped on the east side man Well, so what that's not fucking Berlin what there were other towns that were trapped. What's yours harry pot or some shit So what so the wall like there was fucking people trapping you in there Oh, it's not like the Great Wall of China where it goes through the entire country. Yeah, but like Shit no, yeah, it's Bosley Um See you weren't allowed to leave that little fucking Well, we weren't allowed to cross from the east to west but the wall came down when I was born There was a very hostile environment because the wall would come down. Do you remember it? Yeah, of course I remember being born isn't everyone? Remember we're just punching through grabbing some pubic hair of my mother and pulling myself out and then forcing my head out and I did the first words I screamed was run Sense Russians nearby And we did we ran with Australia and here we are Next question is from German to like dear you have to be able to run straight away. Otherwise you get shot You know how dear a deer can really like they're like Operating like a fool. Did you know that computer the Bambi? Have you seen Bambi fucking operating like full computers 10 minutes after they were born? Australian babies take like what three years before they can fucking do anything shit It's like just put them in a fucking in the freezer for three all babies. I like that dude But dear babies Matt they can fucking run pretty much straight away Matt German babies aren't like that German babies can run like I was fully aware and conscious two months before I was due to go out like I That's why you remember being born. Oh, yeah a hundred percent It was it was like I had to come out then because I could sense the Russians coming question for the podcast Who would win in a staring contest between both of us? Yeah, I don't know 50 even a depends on the day whose eyes are more lubricated man. All right What do you want me to fucking say? We had a comp on our Instagram live with heaps of people We didn't lose one. We didn't lose once sometimes we go live on Instagram enough staring contests If you see us go live on Instagram, let's bring it on And everyone's like oh man, I never I'm on the wrong time as you guys turn post notifications on that's what Brie did and Brie got to like Brie got to go live with us. Yeah, and she got to she did she know she lost Yeah, no she put a fucking ice cream on her head. So she won. Yeah So turn notifications on I think Brie might have asked a question could be the same brief earth Yeah, she's asked a question today. We'll get in a sec Next question is from Logan Gillian. How do we know that you're not holograms? Well, I guess you don't you don't know that when I listen They're fucking science to come that is how you know, we ain't hold it holograms his hands are just well that I Thought you were yeah, I didn't want to scare you guys too much. I know we're a bit like antsy Oh Next question, can you do it what clap clap? Yes, so we're all people we hang on Yulia's face timing means could be good No one tell him what we're doing. All right. Oh, hey, man. What's going on? No, what makes you think that oh Fucking even knows Oh This thing. Yeah, I just wear this to some protection Yes, oh man, you should see these episodes man. They are fucking spot on it looks like TV They're like vanilla. It's like, you know ice cream. It's like vanilla ice cream. Oh, yeah, no, no, that's just here It's hanging out. Hey, man Oh You fucking called me man Here's Brie with a question She's asked it before but she wants to know is they're gonna ever gonna be a meet and greet in the future Yeah, there is we just don't know when and where it's it's hard with all this COVID shit, you know Cuz we'll be like, yeah, you fucking there's plans Backing you guys fucking killing old people by meeting up. It's just fucking next question is from Josh What's the best and worst part about being Marty and Michael? The best part would be that we now have a platform with which to make a lot of people laugh if we can Yeah, that's the best part making people laugh lots and lots of people and the worst part is the The there's weird shit that you don't even think that was gonna suck until you Yeah, sort of become recognized a bit. Yeah, you fucking you really do sell your soul because I don't go back It's like Every time you go out now Everyone's looking at you. Yeah, and like you think that's cool But then it gets old and also, you know, like you just like people are always so nice to you and you just don't know whether it's genuine or whether they want something from you now I get what people say or famous people say about how it can be shit being famous Yeah, but like having said that I would still fucking prefer this. Yeah way over what we had the live in the fucking dream cannot complain But yeah, it's it's relentless There's a lot of pressure now constant content out. It's just it's a hard industry to Stay on top of you have to be fucking non-stop come. Do you know what I'm fucking saying? Oh, dude, I'm right. It can't be like fuck. I feel like not working hard for a few months because bye See that Next question is from Zander if a stick is snapped in half does it become two sticks or a broken stick fucking cut that? It becomes a broken stick You think it's fucking two sticks, don't you? That's why you're angry about that question. I didn't even listen. It's just shit No, what it'd be like snapping an arm into two pieces and then saying it's two arms now No, it's one arm snapped in half Well, what about this is the sticker stick or is it a tree because it came off the tree broke off it It's a fucking triton. It's a stick. You snap a finger off. It's a fucking finger. It's not a body It's a body part. Yeah, it's a tree part a stick is a tree part Done last question lock it in From many guys here. What is your favorite video you've ever made? AFL ones up there. Oh, it was a stressful time and a lot of things could have gone wrong now a few things did go wrong But we fucking we got through it says as fucked as it was it's a fucking as a that's a good video Had a kick of Goldie AFL grand final we show you yeah, but what the funnest to film I loved the B video Fucking B video Just because it was like bees there's drugs. Yeah, we're getting injected with fucking B venom, but like that was you know, that's a get what is it give you like a rush get me off So the B video is good, but like ones that get give you a rush without you, you know, you're gonna die I like the ones that take that take a lot of effort to get right, you know, like the fucking billboard prank the sky-riding one Man, so so rewarding seeing him Just so shocked wasting our money and ruining my phone number that up for fuck It's so so rewarding seeing him his life just like really really Ruined all right moving on to the next segment, which is And this is a segment where we Have an objective and our objective is to prove or disprove the Hamish and Andy are fucking holograms All right, but no one's we've we've come just give you a quick We'll just give you a quick update of where we're at with this all right We just we thought Hamish and Andy they must be fucking holograms because no one's ever seen him before then we started trying So our plan was to send them some shirts that said I am real because holograms can't wear shirts And if they can put the shirts on send a video of themselves saying we are real and send it to us Then we'll believe that they're not holograms. Okay. This is week number the beginning of week three Of this saga so last week we left you guys the manager our package got lost Melbourne was in lockdown So they couldn't put our fucking shirts on all right Anyway, let me just quickly read the email that I sent to his manager to their manager And her reply. All right. How's that? All right, so um I said I said hey, I won't say a name for some reason Hope you had a good weekend just to heads up our shirts are still being processed in Melbourne bloody covet has messed our plans I'll stay in touch and let you know when they've arrived So a straight post said oh your shirts have not arrived because the coveted fucked everything up Then she replied hey marty fox fm receptionist said there's a package waiting for us Which I believe is from you guys so fuck yes He did arrive Australia post is wrong So maybe not all is lost Andy has a solid few days with the cube launching, but we won't forget Wow, okay, so the manager is on our side. Okay, it's going to get it across the board, but You know if I Was a manager of a hologram I would I would fucking drag it out. I do everything I could to sort of You know from actually doing the task at hand. So we'll see we'll fucking see Our next fucking segment Is uh, fuck it's been renamed like it's like be delicate with it That's what it's been renamed and this is a segment where we just open shit Do you guys send to our po box and it's written right here right there see that And this is we've only got one package to open this week So if you want us to open something live on our podcast could be supporting your business He could be advertising something a small business of your own or could be a funny letter Or could be a tow. It could be a shot glass full of breast milk All right, what do we have here? All right, so we have a fucking package And I had a bit of a feel of this before anthrax. Oh my god. Someone has sent us anthrax Someone sent us anthrax Someone sent us anthrax matt Look, it says anthrax someone fucking sent us anthrax. We always used to joke. Oh you sweaty cunt We always used to joke in season one we'd say That is so fucking sick Yeah, I need to get all glitchy I'm all glitchy We always used to joke and say what if someone sends us anthrax in the po box one day And so I sent us anthrax Thank you to ever send us anthrax. And what do we got here dick and balls A hemorrhoid Fuck off Oh my god, if you're listening to this on Spotify, we are not joking Someone's just sent us a hemorrhoid And anthrax. That's so fucking cool. See this is creative shit. Yeah, I'm gonna put them They're like little soft toys if you're listening. I don't think you'll fuck this I reckon you'll put some of these in your ass. Um, who sent that? Well, here's a letter. Here's a letter This is the shit I was talking about anything and everything but this is good This is good fucking po boxing shit. All right. Fuck off You seeping fucking serpents Oh, you're hurting my feelers Oh Hey, Martin Michael Enjoy these gifts. I hope they sleep well at night. Sorry. I didn't get Matthew Sorry, I didn't get Matthew Gregory Brown one. I'm not even sure he is real Fair that's fair. I understand that logic. Happy Easter. Merry Christmas. Happy birthday And happy new year. Melbourne just went into lockdown. So who knows when os post delivers Please don't read my last name or insta out on podcast. Lots of love jasmine We gave her a follow, right? If you send a shit, we'll give you a fucking follow as that Hey, and rad shit not like fucking what was it some Marbles or some shit. No, we got some shitty gremlins. Oh the fucking gremlins. Come on The gremlins were good. Oh matt stop fucking pretending the gremlins were shit. Okay. Send us some fucking cool shit Okay, like anthrax and fucking hemorrhoids not gremlins. We aren't 12 years old It's really some beautiful little poor kid He just wants to send his best toys to fucking Marty and Michael and we'll have a fucking think before you fucking act Saved up all year to buy 12 or under. We're sorry if you're older. Fuck you I liked them Yeah, no, I kept them. I did keep the gremlins. I keep everything if you watch times I look I go through it in my on my bed and I just fucking cry. It's so good. Yeah, he does do that They did survive the whole season two on the table. Yeah, if you watch closely, I have cleared it If they were here right now, I'd burn them. I'd melt them down the hemorrhoid hemorrhoid. Good day anthrax I do Fucking kind of dripping. See this is what I'm talking about man. No one knows my pain It's so hot with the hair, but I'll do it for a laugh Yeah, no one's even probably even laughed. I'm just sweating me yellow out for no fucking reason All right, the next segment And this is a segment where I read out German common German phrases and sayings Just normally I read them out in a normal perfect way as if I'm having a conversation with another german person Here we go. What is funny, michael? I have not started reading I just know it's gonna be so good Okay Why do you say fish weird at the end mesh for mesh it's fish It's so fucked and that translates to that is jacket like trousers to me Which means that six of one and half a dozen of another Wow, that didn't like that one I have to remember to read it three times for that Okay Oh Dude that was hitler reincarnated Oh my god Ew That was joseph gobbles. That is means He made himself me nothing you nothing out of the dust That's not no one says that He made off he cut and ran basically so that's why I said that with a bit more passion Because that's what you're saying when someone's ripped you off in germany God, yes Next man stop the market Anyway Oh my god, that is fucked my leebehind How do you reach those tones which means my goodness Oh Last one fuck off. Excuse me. I'm speaking german Okay, here we go Which means I scratch the curve which means I'm out of here Oh, that's how you say goodbye. Yeah. Yeah, and I that's how the young hip kids in germany say I'm out of here 100% Like I've been a big group of teenagers and they all said that to each other It's pretty it's pretty intense Fuck me, dude Oh, oh it continues to surprise me the fucking it is a beautiful language. Um, yeah, sure There are some sounds that aren't natural, but it is a beautiful linguistic combination It is fucking demology holy demonology tradition and just a lot of a lot of Rich history has gone into that language and you can hear it's really profound. You know what I mean? Like sometimes listening to a fluent german speaker. It's like listening to Beethoven or something Imagine the music It's a heavy metal band uh ramstein Are they ramstein? You remember ramstein? I've heard of them. Yeah, I never really listened to them Remember that butch dick? Where's a butch dick? I can't remember 99 red red balloons. That's not dude. It's not Snip snop snuppy snuppy snuppy snup. Remember that? Yeah, there is a european version of that, isn't it? It's in euro trip Yeah, yeah It's in the german language. So it's just like what we need to watch this microphone I just sort of use it as like a little beard tickler. Yeah, you probably should you fight really close to it a lot What a Speckles I felt for sure I'd have some gas today. Hey boys. Yeah, fuck man. I told you she didn't have wasted him at the beginning Maybe you're right man. Maybe you're right, right? Right Lesson has been learned man. Put it here. No, I'm not touching you fucking pool God What you are just Sling clang clang clang. I can't wait for the summer to go away. It's fucking hot in here Oh, dude. I love winter Jackets dooners. Yeah, I do like jackets. You've got some good jackets. Yeah, you can wear better shit Like summer you literally have to just wear a shirt in shorts One of my earliest memories of you michael is you were wearing like a purpley jacket You look like um russell brand a bit for some reason Michael used to love purple. It was a purpley jacket. It fucking dressed up as barny half the palm around fucking europe Holy shit, I had like all purple purple jeans purple jacket purple bit and he's fucking I had a little purple streak. I looked like literally barny barny the fucking dinosaur I look like a lesbian. It looked like barny the dinosaur on a massive meth bender Yeah purple jacket. I don't remember that but yeah, I don't have it anymore. Matthew brown The final segment has arrived Brown it is time to prank fuck all All right, the prank call this week. Oh my fucking voice is a bit all fucked. I don't know why Oh, dude, it's because of maybe the fucking your native tongue destroys your voice box because it's fucking demons. I can't be that All right, so for the prank call this week I'm going to try and get a job interview as a fucking derelict dog All right as a fucking just piece of shit human being The same piece of shit who tried to get a job last week and Darren the junkie is his name Darren the fucking junkie can't and um I'm I'm not gonna we're not gonna call fucking one of those dominoes kfc Play because they'll all just say the same thing apply online. Let's just call an independent restaurant What about like? Yeah, like a family business. That's exactly right my friend everyone Holy shit It's gonna take some work man. It's hot. I can't I can't spread the cheeks and hold this at the same time Well, then I've got you gotta trust me. You're gonna have to learn to trust me Michael's gonna put it in there. You've got to trust me dude. I'll do it properly I'll do it softly. I won't fucking I'll make sure it's warm too. I'll heat it up with my fingers You guys are gonna have to practice to say he knows the feeling Oh, it doesn't freak out like I'm pissed off a bit, but I understand it was your first attempt I'll get better. Okay. Yeah, but like you're gonna have to trust me Fuck It's gonna like because I always always because you don't need to put it all the way on look See yeah, I want to hear fucking hot See look at how perfectly you need to place this really. I want to hear hot cross buns There's not much room for airing. Okay. Yeah, I won't touch on the first few attempts. Oh, I just fucking Oh, I just fucking touched my lip Fuck Well, okay the first five attempts. I won't touch your asshole with it After that, that's when we'll start attempting to put it on the on the lips Because and then that shows that you can trust me if I don't touch your ass for five. Okay Okay, I'll just have to have to try and find the right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I'll be moving. Yeah. Yeah Is there a constant wind flow? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, there is there is a constant but It's hard to control the amount of air. It's it's hard to it's hard to keep it a consistent Like that I have to try and keep Yeah, I was wondering if it's powerful enough to set off the yeah. Yeah. Look how gently I'm lying you fucking pig You're fucking pig Michael's a gassy boy today. No, I don't forget to put your phone on silent Don't you mean private? Hey, good day. My name's Darren. I was just wondering he's um, like horny or nothing at the moment Like he's hiring people for um, a bit of extra work there a couple of shifts here and there I'm not laughing much Um, do you guys horny like you guys got um, like uh fucking, uh, what's it called like a job? He's got a job. Um, does it does enough on the down around your restaurant that I can help out with And use like pay me like an hourly, uh number I don't have a um, I don't have a printer, but like I can just quickly tell you I'm on resume now, right? So, um, I haven't like worked much. I haven't done any working. Um, like restaurants and that but I did um, I did a bit of labour and work Bloody like well must be like over a year ago now a bit of labour and work for like two months But it's just so hot. I had to get out of it. And before that I was uh apprentice um, sparky For uh, Brisbane council. So like I've been around like I've done I've done hard bits Um, but like I'm just like, you know, because COVID and that And like, you know, it's it's getting a bit bloody It's settling it's getting bloody drying up and that because it'll like jobs job seeking bloody nonsense going Yeah All right, well my Well more names, um Darren Johnson Darren Johnson, and I live not far from you guys Um, what about right what about right like look at this, right? What about because I don't have like printer in that to print out my resume, right? So like I can write on a bit of paper I can write on a bit of paper what I can do like my skills and that and like all my my Characteristics and that like that make me good at jobs. I can put that on I can write that down Okay, I'll do that for you, right? But right now what I need from you is is a fucking I need a commitment from you I want a crack at that job. That's open, right? I want to come in and I want to have a trial run at that job I think I'm fucking good for the job Obviously, like I'm I'm like like listen to me like I'm fucking passionate man. I'm like fucking I'll fucking get she done come I'll fucking get she done Fuck 10 15 minutes. Do you know what I'm saying? Like I'll be up a fucking corporate ladder before you fucking even say hi to me come What well, um, okay Yeah, yeah, right but I know I know what you said about like the resume and that and like bring that in, right? But like my computer has like so many viruses on it Like I can't even open Microsoft Word on it. So I can't I can't type my resume out, right? So I think I think if I write it down on a bit of paper, right with a pencil I'll write my details down. I'll do that for you. All right. I'll fucking jot that down Done, right? I'll come in If I can hand that to you But I'm saying I need you to promise me right now that I've got the job All right, because I like, you know, you know, I'm saying I've been on the phone like all day, right? Just call hustling around fucking job your job there, right? No, wait, look, I'll let you go. I can hear you busy, right? So I'll let you go and I'm like because I'm like aware of that shit Like if I can sense more work colleagues are fucking busy, right? I'll fucking I'll I'll fucking let them do their job. Do you know what I mean? I wanted my sixth sense or some shit So I'll come in with a bit of paper real quick. All right, and I'll fucking come in and see you soon. All right All right. See you later. See you later, bro Stay on it, bro. I'll come in and drop my resume off, all right I'll fucking write on the journal on a bit of paper I'm still on the phone. I'm gonna wait until shit picks up again Oh Oh my god, dude, I'm really starting to like Darren He's a cool dude. Fuck. How can we do it so that they actually give me a job interview though? Maybe I need to call like oh, I need I need to call like Like people that give jobs to laborers because they won't put up with that shit Oh, that would just be straight away angry. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, dude. We need to call up fucking like we need to call like a butcher Oh A butcher or an electrician, I reckon Man, if I fucking call the Yeah, next week I'm gonna call I'm gonna try and find a Laboring person and feel free to comment suggestions guys because I'm I'm all ears and eyes man So feel free to comment suggestions of the prank calls that you want to hear all right because I don't know and like It's fucking It's hard That was I had a great time, dude. I really enjoyed that I really there's a lot of pressure on the prank call. I someone let you guys down, you know Dude, no 10 out of 10 even the times that like they aren't the best It makes the ones that are the best the best So it's got to be balanced. It's good to have shit ones in there because then that makes a good one stand out Yeah, it's just like life. There's bad days Bad days wet days And happy days like toca tonight. I'm going to play toca and we have some mexican Fuck I'm excited. I'm gonna get fucking high We're the best. Oh my god Oh my god