 Hey, Janine. It's I'm Cap Behmelman. I'm the segment producer for the David Feldman show great So we're really hey first of all Congratulations on being invited to be on David show. I'm honestly the the thrill of it of the invitation is enough for me Even if we didn't do the show. I'm just thrilled to be asked So I had a fight really hard to get you on the show because Everyone else was against it. Yeah, yeah, I already got somebody else told me that yeah, yeah And I also was bumped twice already. Yeah, because a better guest head, but I'm in your corner, right? Yeah, despite what others say I know that's what I was told also that even when others Say negative things you're you always fight Cap Behmelman. I will go down with swinging swinging for the people I believe in yeah, and I just want to say this in a clumsy way. This is gonna be kind of inelegant I'm not gonna be working for David Feldman forever And I just want you to remember that I fought for you to get on the show Oh, I'm sorry. They're gonna go. I might not be able to get on then if you where are you going? Do you have it? Did you I'm just saying I you know people move on. It's a very fluid industry And I just hope you remember that Cap Behmelman fought for you. Yes be as in Behmelman He has an emelman Jonathan Katz. Sorry. That's a Jonathan Katz joke Don't do that bit on I won't death Jonathan Katz is big yeah way that's with the last name pottinger He says he isn't pottinger So a couple of things that David likes is He likes to be praised as a comic and a comedy writer so could you do remember to do that yes, of course and You don't listen to the show do you but if you could just occasionally reference the show an episode and Just to make it look like you do listen to it right The audience won't know right that you're making it up. Okay. Just say you know remember you had that guest that That one funny guest on yeah, who was not as funny as just as day as you did, you know But I I just feel like it's probably best if I don't reference something just in case because he Is probably sharp enough to know when somebody's doing that but either way. No, he's not Okay, he's very susceptible to praise So if you just praise him a lot, okay, we want to go over your fake laugh because David likes to tell jokes and He just wants to make sure your fake laugh sounds as real as possible Well, I thought what in these case in instances is Excuse me. I When people at roasts The old ones and even the new ones that are televised when clearly things aren't that funny But they want to make it seem like they're laughing. They bury their face in their hands. Yeah, but their shoulders shake Yeah, but see this is an audio medium. No, no, but it's just important that David see That I'm laughing right and then he'll comment on it Well, he would kind of like he what I usually do is I auditioned three types of fake laughs and then I I know What he likes. Okay. So can you give me? Uh, kind of like a giggle. Let me hear a giggle a fake Can you go a little like an octave higher on that? That's good good Okay, and like a shocked laugh Oh I can't believe you said that Great, I can't believe David Feldman said that But I'm talk I'll be talking to him. Yeah, but we like to just remit. We want to remind people that's the David. Okay Well, what if I do it this way? David Feldman, I can't believe you just said that That's pretty good. Uh, can you do again? It's not me. It's We're trying to brand the show. Could you say oh, David Feldman? Uh, Tuesdays and Fridays at 3 a.m. If you could just in the in the in that in that contact They say David Feldman, I can't believe you just said that Tuesdays and Fridays at 8 o'clock It was it's 3 o'clock But depending on but it would be 5 o'clock in London. Oh say eastern standard eastern standard time. Yeah Not granted you mean time Yeah, you know David, uh, it's not it's an international. Yeah. Okay. So again, let's just let's just stay focused here If you don't mind I was being sincere Okay, the show launches at 3 a.m. Mondays and Tuesdays eastern standard time 3 a.m. 3 a.m. Yeah So, okay, so David says something funny. You're laughing and then you want to say, oh David, you're so funny Tuesdays and Fridays three Okay David I can't believe the things you say consistently so funny Tuesdays and Fridays at 3 a.m I Hope you can remember what you just did. Yeah, I can't can you okay? And finally he's gonna say something that is probably Provocative and he's not gonna expect you to laugh and I just need you to say something like Wise or let me think about that. Right Okay, okay. Oh, that's a great That's a great quite. I've never thought of it from that perspective. That's I'm gonna have to think about that more when I go home and that's a sign of a great show Tuesdays and Thursdays Fridays at 3 a.m. We'll write that down for you One final note that I'm gonna bring David in and don't be nervous. Okay, you know, he's uh, once you're booked He wants you on the show the things he said before To me About not want I'm in your corner. Cat Bammelman will always be in your corner Yes, especially when he's no longer working here and he hopes you'll remember that because Cat hopes I wear or David as well. No cat Bammelman hopes the person you're speaking to right now No, I know that but it's the pronouns you used cat Bammelman. Yeah when discussing What you were just saying that through me Oh, you said cat Bammelman hopes As in the third person cat Bammelman speaks of himself in the third person often. Oh, it's a man I your voice Cat oh, it's cap Cap cap Bammelman cap. No wonder I confused your gender and I'm even sitting right across from you. Why Cap cap as in Andy cap. Yes, P as in pap. Yes And P as in pap. Yes, and uh, yes, I do have an androgynous look most of the employees here at the day But also sexuality is fluid as well. You said comedy is fluid and that's absolutely sexuality. Yes And so is aesthetics and so Cap Bammelman is hoping that Janine will remember that he was in her corner When David was a little wasn't sure if he was agnostic at best. Yes at best. So it's all about loyalty in in this And obedience and obedience. Yeah. Anyway, David is very concerned about one thing If he says something when he says something funny He would appreciate it if you don't say Is that yours or did you just come up with that or I remember something similar? Yeah, but I I also Signed on the way in at the door the The confidentiality clause. Mm-hmm, which I guess covers sort of the type of thing you're talking about. Yeah, not mentioning plagiarism or theft right or or the hair transferring Or the boundaries don't mention the plugs and make eye contact with David Don't let your eyes wander up towards the hairline because it makes them self conscious Well, what I tend to do is when I'm talking to people when I'm uncomfortable as I stare at their ear Okay, but stared his left ear I'm doing it now. Oh is that that stage right his left ear? Because the right ear has the hearing aid in it and nobody's supposed to know But but they've made such strides that they can be so easily hidden now. He doesn't like to spend any money Because I know that last time he had an ear horn. Yes, and he would do this a lot. Yeah Which is seemed a bit Old-fashioned. Yes, and But it was very obvious to use the ear horn. He doesn't like to spend and girly What's that that kind of thing? So I was hoping he'd get maybe a cochlear implant or something like that. Yeah, well, his he's best friends with rush limbaugh And he's trying to get rush to give him the old. I feel so sorry for rush limbaugh's chair I've always felt that yeah that seat that he sits in for hours doing that show. I feel so sorry for that chair Yeah So before I bring in David, is there anything you would like him to plug and I don't say that word Anything you'd like him to transplant No Any any gigs coming up that he should well, um, I'll be at the portland bridge town 10th anniversary comedy festival Don't bring that up. David was rejected. Okay. Um, I'll be doing a play At the american airlines theater called marvin's room. Oh, don't bring that up. He's shooting He doesn't get along with the theater and the airline industry dine keaton when she was in that Yeah, he can't he yeah, don't bring an american airlines Yeah, can it be the united airlines thing because then he can lead into a joke We don't have to talk about it all Well, we can do marvin's room if he can say you can say round about theater company And then he'll and say we'll say united airlines instead of american because that will lead him into his bit about The guy being dragged out. What about ryan air? ryan air It's uh From ireland Okay Oh, and then he can lead into an air lingus cunnilingus pun Right, which I haven't heard anyone else do before by the way. Well, David was the first To do a cunnilingus air lingus joke. Gosh, I thought it was laura keitlinger Well, she steals back at emerson university Yeah, don't bring up emerson either because David, uh, was rejected didn't get in well. He wanted to speak at one of the graduation and they said no Thanks, they didn't they didn't even look at his tape. They had densely redo it They had densely redo it and david, you know, he doesn't he would by the way david would be In sense that I'm bringing this up, but what he did is he decided he should do graduation speeches That's a good what's a lucrative So he did an audition graduation speech at his kids kindergarten And it was he knocked it out of the park What was the theme the theme was you're on your own stop asking for things bootstraps bootstraps time and It was great because and especially and it's timeless in terms of age because the six-year-olds they were about to turn six They got it 18 year olds 22 year olds. They would love this from six to 60 from six to 60 except 52 for some reason Well, that's a tough age. Yeah the terrible 52s the terrible 52. I should know that was last year for me And I just I'm just getting over it now. By the way, david is pushing 50 Uh-huh. So don't and so he started when you when we when he talks about the early days of stand-up Transpose the 80s to the 90s, please right just uh just shifted a decade. Yes. So but if he brings up Certain references that are clearly 80s. His audience is stupid So if you say reagan was president in 1995, they'll go along with it. They're idiots and and Richard belzer's impression of ronald reagan. Yeah is also from the 90s then absolutely Okay, all right. I think we're all set. I'll bring david and do you need anything? No, I'm fine. I brought some water from home Okay Hey, janine. How are you? I'm good. How are you david? Good? Thank you so much for doing that was such a fast I didn't even see you come in. That was so fast. Thanks cap. That's thank you cap And I'm sorry. I thought it was cat. Oh, no, no, no, it's cap. Hi, janine I'm so glad you're here. Thank you. It's wonderful to be here. Thank you for having me My advice to the listeners is to skip the next 20 minutes because I'm gonna fawn all over you seriously Be careful. I would just skip ahead to 20 minutes because Is it really 20 minutes of I'm gonna find for 20 that's a that's a lot I don't think you could that's very kind of you, but I don't think there is 20 minutes worth of fawning Yes, there is unless we do a loop Or is it a gif divine? What is it the kids? We have a lot of questions for you. Yeah. Yeah, I see the yellow legal pad and I see the pan And this is what we're not going to discuss because you were on the show last time right We talked about actually we talked a great deal last time at length about so many things I am not going to talk about why I worship you and how you got The iraq war right and I got it wrong. I'm not going to talk about that I'm not going to talk about you being the mother Of the alt comedy scene that is just that that just isn't true. It is it isn't true I'm Not going to talk about abbey hoffman Right. Well, I'm sure he would prefer that you did abbey hoffman being a guy the late abbey hoffman who would love If we discussed him, but that's okay, but I may ask you about abbey hoffman. Okay. All right Because I've been thinking a lot about abbey So will you forgive me if I ask you about abbey hoffman? Of course, I will forgive you. It doesn't bother you Bother me for you to ask about abbey hoffman when you said me Instead of you Or you it was an accident. It means this is Something that terry gross can't even do We are at one right me is you you it's the eye contact. Yeah, it's yeah This is the we're we're there. This is going to be the greatest interview. We're on the same page. Yes, literally. Yes Who was abbey hoffman abbey hoffman was a activist and one of the famous chicago eight I believe the chicago eight trial uh that jerry left court Uh, I believe defended them. They were uh on charges of inciting, uh, I guess riot or What's exactly at the chicago convention in 1968 but among other things he Was a guy who also had a group called the mary pranksters who would uh do kind of situationist Happenings to get people's awareness of about politics and culture He lived above the gem spa mere steps from this apartment where we are now I didn't know that. Yes. He lived there with Anita and for many years And they had a lot of sessions about their legal defense in that apartment above the gem spa on st Mark's corner of st. Mark's in second um he Went underground for many years to evade the law and he was uh set up many times Um and had drugs planted on him to to arrest him And one of the final times he just went underground and then couldn't help himself and resurfaced again As an environmental activist Um in upstate new york many years under a different name and claiming to have had plastic surgery but he he didn't He basically looked the same and uh He never stopped fighting for um for uh Social justice if you will and uh, he also uh with his wife and nita who who died in the 90s And um, he has a son america hoffman Who looks exactly exactly like him and I met america when we were shooting the abbey hoffman film Called steal this movie in canada and it was Absolutely uncanny sometimes children are carbon this this is and he also at the time I met america was probably 19 20 21 years old and dressed in kind of a Cool vintage u-way with the same exact hair the same voice it it was like looking at at abbey hoffman and um It was a thrill to be involved in that In that project in glenn greenwald who directed it has gone on to do a great many documentaries and um brave new films Great new films and his is a uh solid citizen activist fighter great guy and uh So I was what I was I've been watching Don rickles and abbey hoffman on youtube I want to ask you about don rickles the late don rickles Yes, but I but I want to go back to abbey hoffman I get very sad watching him It didn't I guess he committed suicide because he suffered from manic depression, right? I you know, that's not one of those things where the family differs with With abbey hoffman, you know, whenever there's a suicide involved. That's a very emotional thing for people apparently there are some His his second wife being one of the who will not sign off on okay that so I it probably is true It's just one of those things where I guess it's emotionally difficult for people to to think that that would happen but I I would tend to think yes, it's um The world changed on abbey. I've been watching some some of his last interviews he was my hero growing up because I was entering puberty and he combined everything that I loved which is Humor politics and being sexy Uh-huh. I thought this is he was a very attractive guy and out of a kind of carnal sexuality I would say the accent and voice could throw you a little in the romance department and academia. He was very academic He was very very bright very right. He went to tufts. He had a master's in psychology and also dressed really cool Yeah, um, I have to say some of the merry pranks and this and I mean no offense anyone by the some of the Merry prankster stuff is not my thing humor wise. Oh, yeah, right? But I take their point Right sometimes it's a bit broad for my taste and also he was a guy who uh annoyed a lot of people and I guess famously was Head over the head by a guitar at woodstock what he wouldn't get off a stage talking and stuff like that Pete Townsend right Pete Townsend. I think um He I guess could be real irritating to some people but a vital vital presence and uh a historical figure who More people should know about him if they don't You played Anita has Anita Hoffman. Yes When you write your Biography which probably isn't gonna happen. I'm not a strong writer and I don't have discipline and I don't know if it's that interesting But thank you wrong Wrong and you're welcome. Abby Hoffman. I'm sorry. Vincent. Afrio played Abby Hoffman and um Jean Triple Horn played Johanna Michael Sarah's first movie. He played our son America as a little little boy. Um Oh my god, I can't believe his name just By the way, when you can't remember a name It makes me very happy, but it's so crazy because I I see him all the time and we are friends But that's okay. You're making me. Oh my gosh. Just keep forgetting He's in so many movies too. It's killing me Okay, uh Thank you. Oh my gosh. Thank you. It makes me scared because it's happening to me more and more as I get older He's in uh good fellas. He's in um the departed. He's he's got the black hair and kind of like a lazy way of talking He he he played uh Jerry Rubin in in Abby Hoffman. Oh, it's killing me. I've done his podcast like four times Kevin Pollock. No, no, no. Kevin Pollock was at Kevin Corrigan. Yes, Kevin Corrigan was an easy name to Kevin Pollock I forget what's Thank you so much for that. Um and Kevin Pollock was in it. Yes, right. Oh my good and donalogue Oh, yes, great actor. Yes So when you're researching Anita Hoffman, what are you learning that we're not learning About the yippies. What did you come away from that? You must have come away with some emotional insight That we never learned and Tom Hayden and I got I got access to not only books and transcripts of conversations They had but tapes cassette tapes of conversations. They had Um, I already was interested in that time period and I was already familiar with and interested in those people Not I didn't know as much as I would come to learn um but uh And then also there were some things that that became apparent But it wasn't news to me that even sex sexism still remained As the hierarchies are being changed the women are still playing roles But then again these these were young people who grew up mostly in the 40s and 50s So it would be a big shift, you know for them to to be completely forward thinking the women still mostly served in secretarial capacities making coffee and We're still trying to be attractive Even in their kind of no makeup We're all in this together kind of thing. There was mascara being passed around that kind of thing and Abby irritate there was a divide between the more intellectual Tom Hayden types and the sds And the port Huron statement types and abby and some of the more drug Influenced arm of that party all of them very bright all of them wanted the same thing There was a divided how we were going to go about it I think Tom Hayden and some of the others were a little bit embarrassed by Abby's hijinks sometimes and we're not as thrilled with some of the drug taking and drinking But that's human nature, you know, that's just the and there's always in any progressive movement A million divides because of the critical thinking going on and the questioning was with conservatism As a rule and you've heard this phrase a million times democrats fall in love republicans fall in line But in right wing circles that it's just obedience is prized above prized above all else and In in liberal progressive democratic circles thinking is priced more than that Um, I'm gonna get back to I'm gonna put a pin in that. Yeah, I actually there's not really much more I can say no, but I wanted to ask you about Tom Hayden because we lost him last year Yeah, yeah, and his son Troy. He was a great actor. He played Tom Troy Hayden played Tom Hayden. Did he have Is that Jane Fonda's kid? Yes with him. Um, and he looks just like, you know, he's actually a handsome reverse enough of Tom Hayden But Tom Hayden would come to the set and speak to us and teach us things and strikingly beautiful man Tom Hayden In a way I because I interviewed him. I brought my son to interview Tom Hayden for the radio show and I'm You walk in there and he's got he had this charisma And a nose It was like Tip O'Neill's nose It was it was and his son doesn't have that but he has all the handsomeness without that But I thought that nose of Tom Hayden's I could see being Jane Fonda And falling in love with it. Well, it's very can be very virile the nose the proboscis if you will on a male It doesn't work so well for the ladies That's it. You know, although I would say in Barbara Streisand say it's quite beautiful Um, but that I have I remember reading once that historically in in great in ancient Greece and Rome and Abyssinia A large nose was a sign of virility in a man That it was to be prized Which is a great thing if you're the the large nose person who came up with that A great way to spin it, but I I think it's true in men. I do find it attractive in a lot of men He wasn't take your eyes off of it. It is it is a point of focus I don't know that he would feel As great about it, but he certainly was comfortable in his own skin. That's a thing You know, uh, there's something about a person who not only has a lot of integrity But it's very very comfortable in those again. It's unusual when you meet a person who is seemingly anyway 100% Comfortable and I met once when I had a radio show rob Halford I don't know who that is of iron maiden The the band iron maiden right rob Halford. That's his name. I still don't know his but go ahead and And I hope I'm right about that iron maiden. Hey young kids up. They actually they're too young, but I'm sure there's people screaming in your audience going of course it is or no it isn't but in any way he's He's the openly gay. He got his look actually almost defined along with freddie mercury the look of gay For rob Halford metal gay the the studded like bears, you know But he in this in the late 60s and 70s and 80s was not out He's out now and he's an activist I have never met a more comfortable in their own skin gentleman than rob Halford in my life And it was one of the most attractive characteristics in a human being I've ever seen that ease of self because he must have gone through quite a bit of hiding who he was Not only in the genre of music he was in but the years he was born raised into and in small town england where he's from And tom hayden was comfortable and tom hayden to me anyway That's what I not only was I a fan of his anyway, but when he would come and speak to us on the set Uh, I noted it back that like because because it's an unusual trait in people even adults But especially uh myself at the time I um was probably 34 I I can't really remember. Um Maybe older but still quite uncomfortable in my own skin a heavy drinker still at that time and um And a body odor that smelled of hummus and hummus meets pennies Hummus meets a handful of pennies I don't know why acrid But that's how my sweat smells. I remember. I'm just I remember you said that and I just and it's true. It's a it's a gotta kick to it and pennies Judas priest. Oh my god. I knew I was wrong not iron maiden Judas priest I had a hunch. I was wrong and I am so sorry. You don't listen. I know I don't listen But they were hugely famous. I mean and even somebody who does not listen to it, right? knows Judas priest and iron maiden and I am so sorry to your listeners who were screaming because that's one of those things Like when you watch wheel of fortune or something and you're like if you're not Understanding what that phrase is it it makes you angry and I I'm so sorry rob halford Judas priest Comfortable in his own skin. They're done. Okay The times beat up abby Hoffman the times really ruined I like to think his life his children's life and his wife his ex-wife and his his uh Second wife's lives. He also had a hand in Making a mess of his personal life too But the country did not move in the direction it was supposed to go It did though. Here's the thing I'm actually very glad you brought that up because this conversation comes up a lot post the last election The country has always been far more forward always than we are led to believe not only by our leaders but by mainstream media the country Has been quite progressive since the 1920s in certain ways and then there's Swing back you know the pendulum swings There's always much more progress In the country then it exists From the babies the squeaky wheels the right wing the moral minority always jerry fallwell people always The minority that's why they have to pretend they're the majority and they have to pretend they're silent they are anything but they are the squeaky wheels that get the grease and Uh, they tend to be those that are shown on mainstream media in the news and pundits and things like that with some exceptions Um, and I also don't believe a republican I've said this many times and people think i'm being silly. I'm not has won honestly and legally For the president most especially since rfk was shot I I not only rolling back of the voting rights act, but gerrymandering redistricting dirty tricks all vote stealing Uh, because the country is not with them agreed for the most part and they uh, don't have policies of benefit to you So, uh, but what they do have in their favor is the constant human resource of ignorance apathy cruelty Fear anxiety low information that will always work in their favor and that'll never go away But they don't have The majority of people a because the majority of people are nicer than they are Be they're too busy to be concerned with some of the non issues that republicans claim to be concerned So, uh, I I feel and I think republicans know this that's why they need dirty tricksters and ratfuckers. Pardon me but that's their nixonian phrase and the liat waters and the stone roger stones and the and um call roves and All in sundry they have to have those people They have to because they don't have the majority behind them They don't have policies or issues that benefit anyone and also it's just blood support for them That's just their nature. That's why they are who they are. Uh, they like They like the hold'em and earlickman shit. They like the iran contra shit. They like it turns them on, you know, the shonhandy types Um, but they haven't won legally. I don't believe I uh for a long time So it to to your point what you were saying the country didn't move now Of course the country didn't move as far as abbey Hoffman would have liked it to well before we get to abbey Hoffman I um first of all Thank you No, thank you. Thank you for doing the show and thank you for what you just said and I have to process what you just said Because you said something should I sit silently? Are we sitting silently? Yeah, yeah, let me just think hang on I wanted to process what you just said Okay, so as I understand what you're saying there's an I don't want to embarrass you but There's something in your nose. No, uh, you know, you're probably right about that I don't want to embarrass the allergies and all. No, no, that that was jaw-droppingly brilliant I just want to make sure I understand what you're saying. Yes. There's a A narrative That we're moving To the right Right, which is true in in in Mainstream politics on the surface on the surface. Yes, that's true ever since 79 when fall well got involved to help George Bush senior Even to the chagrin of Barbara and George Bush senior who can't stand that evangelical nonsense, right? They're more intellectual than that, but they realized that the country is not Republicans have a hard road ahead of them. They are losing the people as progress happens as more It as it becomes more okay for lgbtq issues for more immigration for more more brown people as whites become less and less the dominant force And just as time rolls on what are you going to do? So it was a a decision made in in In washington we need to pull in these evangelicals. We don't have the people quote unquote We don't have the bodies the votes So what do we we got to make common cause with these evangelicals who traditionally have sat it out? You know or got involved in the civil rights movement and bit us in the ass Oh What their thinking was in 79 let's pretend we care about a reproductive rights Let's pretend we're upset about homosexuals. Well, just to let jerry fall well do all the dirty work You know that kind of stuff we'll send out mailers suggesting that somebody has an illegitimate black child We'll say, you know, we'll do all these things. We have to do them because we don't have the people And we'll steal if we have to we'll lie. We that's what one has to do now That is not a conspiracy theory stuff. That's not ten foil hat stuff. That's business And that's been going on since washington had his emissaries pay people in beer You know this has been going on since humans were human And there will be no change in this until human The actual fabric of humanity changes But pa power always seeks to consolidate power. That's just the nature. Okay. So again, I want to stay on this for a second So the problem I have you're you're right. The problem I have the personal problem that I have right now is When trump became president, I lost interest in washington dc. I lost interest In the inner workings because it's so unoriginal. It's I've seen it before they're not smart You don't have to be smart And that's why it bothers me when carl rove is Used to be called a genius or when paul ryan is called the intellect of the party One need no intelligence whatsoever to be a dirty trickster to be a liar Now whether they are or aren't that that is immaterial. They may be intelligent academically Their emotional intelligence is low. That's there's no debate about that They have very low emotional intelligence and very little empathy and nothing but contempt Now donald trump on the other hand is a useful idiot. He himself never thought this was going to happen He didn't win. Let's be clear about that in the same way. George bush did not win So it bothers me when people say he won. He didn't um the late antennas glia installed george w bush and also would touch screen voting anomalies john carrey should have won that didn't so again the people are not with With these right wingers, um, they have to do it that way He won ohio and bobby kennedy jr. Had the smoking gun And carrey wasn't right and that's that's the thing about democrats They're not fighters in that way and they also know that they don't have the handmaidens of the media on their side And they know it's going to get rougher and dirtier if they fight for justice Does that make sense? You know, I mean it's uh because it is a blood sport Especially bobby kennedy jr. Right, right who's but he still Right. He's he's seen the worst and also democrats by their nature tend to ease off for the sake of the country You know, they think they're doing the country of favor um And republicans will fight to the death To the detriment of the country the the republicans cater to their base to the detriment of the country democrats ignore their base to the detriment of the country if that makes sense, but um the Donald trump didn't win but be that as a may he himself didn't want to win that look on his face that night Is the most uh somber and and uh in repose you've ever seen that man because he himself was faced with Oh, shit. You know what I mean? It's it's happened. I didn't want this I wanted everything with the build-up and then I wanted bragging rights to say I could have won it was rigged, right This was not supposed to happen The only person who won out of this in some small way is malinia because she doesn't have to live with them I'm not being silly. I'm saying she caught a break there because that also wasn't supposed to go on that You understand the contract between those kind of marriages. You get in and get out, you know, you you you married You use each other for a time, you know, he gets a very beautiful young wife She lives in a certain way then you divorce and even though you signed a prenup You do take you do walk away with your son and some money right and try, you know money for the child Now that was taken off the table Also when he started to run again and he's run before but that was really half-assed And when he won now you've got to stay the first lady, but uh defying history Well, I'm gonna stay in new york Because my son's in school here because as we know he couldn't possibly go to a good school in washington but she's Negotiate how can I survive this because meeting marriage to him's got to be a terrible terrible thing She she really bet on the wrong horse and really screwed up I don't have sympathy for that, but I do have sympathy for her Living with him, but she doesn't have to know She gets to stay in new york pretending it's about their boy Who also benefits from not being raised by him and how healthy is it for him to be alone in the white house this way? Well, nothing is healthy about this, you know, I mean, but he may he may have that type of thing that george w Bush had of don't tell me I don't want to know george w bush is the only president in history to have increased his muscle mass Well, that's true while in office because he Worked out a great deal, you know, I did did other things Now the look on his face on september 11th was oh, shit now. I got to do stuff or pretend to you know I mean that was that seven minutes But still cheney and those guys Did everything and he didn't want to know what he didn't know Doesn't you know what I mean? That's why he wouldn't read the briefings and stuff and That's why donald trump doesn't he doesn't want to have to do stuff now His ego is different from george w bushes though. So he gets involved more and he tweets There's a lot of things wrong with donald trump There's a great deal of narcissism mixed with self-loathing fear mixed with ego All the deadlies that that are not unusual for somebody who is a ceo or a or a Napoleon of sorts, but if only you could just get a summer camp a lot of little napoleons by summer camps What I as a kid who grew up going to different summer camps. I noted that all this Usually male person who runs this camp has a philosophy and an ethos and a way that we act and the t-shirts that we wear And rules and they seem like little napoleons, you know, I mean they and they want some for good and some for l You know, I mean they have some have a utopian vision some a little more dystopian But you I noted that growing up in the lot I'm sure a lot of people who went to summer camp for most of their childhood and into young adulthood will tell you the same thing Yeah, they're a real stickler for the you know, I mean they have a credo And songs and and jingles that you espouse slow down for one second. That's what donald trump should have done Hang on for me. Yeah, I didn't go to summer camp and one of the bones of contention In my family was they all the whole family would go to a performing arts camp And I wouldn't family camp family camp. Yeah, I would I got you crazy But you're saying that these napoleons Create a situation where everybody's relaxed Everybody's out in the woods You're on vacation. I don't know about relax for some of them, but there is a a vision Not all the time. I'm saying sometimes a lot of times It's bohemian. Especially it's bohemian growth Especially in the late 60s 90s 70s when I started going to camp there was a type of a seeker A person you dropped out of mainstream society They that person and their spouse would buy a camp, right? It's different now Obviously things were different back then of the way people see things, uh, you know more crunchy granola camps and there wasn't see as a kid Uh There wasn't the fears that it exists now And you of course you didn't have the phones and the and the wealth of some kids coming to camp And even if you did have the wealth it wasn't as ostentation and materialistic Uh, it was much more roughing it and like bare bones But there was a a society of sorts at this camp and a lot of times with camps You go to the same one year after year And then there's counselors in training And then some who go on to be counselors and then work at the camp in some capacity These are people that are indoctrinated into the ways of this camp. It's a cult and some if it's more utopian It's not a bad cult it's about recycling and eco friendliness and friendship and citizenship and all these if it's a good camp um and learning to live, uh Uh Do things that you would learn in Girl Scouts or Boy Scouts or something like that survival tips first aid things Just being out in nature What it strikes me now, um, when you when when you think of camps is there's probably more security the lack of Security back when I was younger you're putting kids in the woods in cabins with no doors, you know, I mean And rural rural settings with teenagers in charge Now nothing bad happened. I don't recall and me. I'm sure these things bad things happen But um when we were shooting wet hot american summer the film in 2000 At camp to wander in east tones del pennsylvania Which is a great camp one night, uh, just apropos nothing because we were up late, uh And this wasn't when camp was in session a drifter Made their way onto the this rural campsite and I remembered that, uh, uh One of the I think it might have been ad miles or ken marina one of the actors woke up mitch the Oh, no this camp who immediately woke up and and took care of it Uh, but that's what i'm saying like the for children, you know Anything can happen it doesn't for the most part and and there are so rural sometimes it would be hard for A drifter to and how this guy made it to this this camp Um, although this one wasn't as rural as some and it was the year 2000 Were you protected growing up? Did your parents protect you? Yes, very very sheltered in certain ways a conservative father conservative But I grew up in in a in a lovely town in new jersey madison new jersey And again, these are a different time my parents were very very hands-on put it that way But also in late 60s early 70s there was okay go play in the woods because we lived near woods You don't that's it. That's your directive You play in the woods until dinner time at six that's how I and then at some in summer You go out after dinner again and you go play until whatever your curfew is And that's it that that's the role and I and these are very good hands-on parents, you know, but it it wasn't the way it is now I I am unusual to say go play in the woods to a kid right I grew up And it was go play in the woods and then there was a cowbell that my mother would yeah And we knew there was time to come we didn't have a cowbell, but the lawlers did But we had dinner at six like clockwork dinner at six you just home at six from playing And then you go play and then as you probably did you go to somebody's house can so and so come out and play You knock at the door and you stand on the porch and wait or And also there was more of like a lot of parents take care to keep their eye on the kid so what so bad things obviously happened because My generation grew up and said don't play in the woods Well, there's two things there bad things obviously happen and have since the dawn of time That's again the nature of humanity. It wasn't discussed back in the old days Also, it is in the media's interest to pretend things are worse than they are We're actually much safer new york, you know, then we've ever been There's surveillance everywhere and crime is down in lots of cities not all not all certainly But in lots of major cities new york included Suburbs are safer than they then they were in the 70s and 80s In a lot of ways What is different is the degree of alarm the degree of fear the degree of peer pressure to be a helicopter parent And also the worst-case scenario being on your mind all the time and access to dateline and Local news anything which is just tragedy after tragedy after tragedy even though Terrible things were happening to kids all along It seems like in my time and also I will say there is the added factor of more avenues toward perversion To be witnessed on your computer or television that can send For the most part young boys The most part not always boys. So my my father and mother, you know depression Which they suffered from and lived through World war two The dust bowl of the depression in world war two Life is tough. Yeah Walk it off. Yeah, I'll try to give you the I'm not glorifying the way I was raised Everybody's miserable, but the message was life is tough Grow a pair Don't make life difficult for anybody else Make sure you're not making life difficult for anybody else, but life is difficult. Right Do you think that ethos is being instilled In my children specifically it depends. It's a long class lines as it always has been for for I would say New immigrant communities coming in all the time. It is hard and they are as has it have it as tough as anybody in the tenement museum You know, I mean in their own way Do they have an advantage over Other kids then I would say in certain in some ways There's the advantage that that is taken from the message within that you understand Things are going to be tough and they're hard and you work harder And you don't have access to as many things as easily. That's probably a good thing now I don't like sweeping narratives. It doesn't matter who you are. Where you're from you can have good and bad both You can have hard workers who have had every advantage and lazy people who haven't and vice versa There's no hard and fast rules about that Because I've there are some people in my peer group who grew up with everything who works so hard And some people who are don't and then people I've met over the years who had nothing growing up and Don't work as hard. So is there a universal unifying theory That you can say there's no nuance on is there something Yes, the phrase my mom always you say if you clean your bathroom every day, you never have to clean your bathroom That's brilliant. Yes And you can apply that to a million things if you clean your bathroom every day, which I do You never have to clean your bathroom. Although one could say well, you're cleaning it every day but the thing is you just are You don't have to do a big clean or panic if somebody comes over in your bathroom. It's not clean And uh, if you if you take stock every day as you go like if you make a meal clean it up right in the moment Don't leave it. Don't put off what you can do move toward action Now I am not good at moving toward action in many many many ways, but in tightness in my apartment I do live by the if you clean your bathroom every day, you know have to clean your bathroom Now in my parents case both grew up poor in the moronks They overcompensated With us and we were your garden variety ungrateful slothful Kids I regret that a great deal And I have a million times apologized to my father and I paid him back for call he sent me to college That was paramount my parents my my mom didn't go to college My dad was the first to get past the eighth grade They were also of a generation who thought if you go to college, you're all set. You know, I mean like a only longshoremen and What, you know The people that aren't going anywhere don't go to college because they It was paramount to them And they didn't understand that it either does or doesn't help you out And if you have ungrateful children who drink their way through college doesn't mean anything You know, but I did pay my dad back for for sending my my mom had had passed away by then but Um, it was vital to them. They did everything. They both worked Um and gave us everything they shouldn't have They should not have I'm not criticizing them. They they just they wouldn't have expected that their kids would wind up Now luckily my siblings have gone on to be wonderful parents. I will give them that they have gone on to be they vote wrong They're republican And you know, I wish that wasn't the case But uh, they are wonderful parents and they did get that from my parents. All right, so I Want to ask you about narratives and comedians sweeping and other Narratives you mean in the political arena or just in life both both in life I hate talking about comedy I do it's just I I live it. I breathe it And I'm finding that the more I walk away from talking about comedy the more truths there are that drag me back to comedy You know, Alex. Do you mean stand-up comedy specifically specifically, you know, alex brazil who runs the studio? I've met him Yes, wonderful apartment has a back deck and he's a powerful And a japanese toilet. Yes and He's the producer of the show and he is fascinated by stand-up comedy, but You know, you know me. We there comes a point in a person's life when Yes, I So, okay stand-up comedy. We were in the car today and this is my theory now about us I think we deal in absolute truths as stand-up comics Don Rickles just died and i'm obsessed with don Rickles. I think he I mean before he died I was obsessed with don Rickles I think the more I watch him on youtube the more i'm beginning to Realize this guy like a hundred years from now. They're gonna watch this guy because it's inexplicably funny It is and also he was a very good actor. He was great in casino He was inexplicably Things that that shouldn't have been as funny as they were and also wouldn't in somebody else's mouth be as funny It's the way he did it But then also once you are validated as such as a person who does this and it works Then people want you to do it They want you to do to say these things to them and they look forward to it You know, I mean like that he just was the master of it Like you and I are talking and there is something here between us There's something I don't even want to know what it is, but there's this elephant in the room I am not interested in what the elephant in the room is And I don't want to bring it up if I find at what it is Don would find that what is the elephant in the room? And I will kill it right, but also it was said with Oddly no vitriol right, you know, I mean it was said you you don't believe he doesn't believe that about you It's almost affection. It's almost a a treat to have him call you out on something So so let me let me ask because I do have a question. Yes, okay Watching him there is a truth When he's on with Carson or Letterman and he's totally in the moment And he he just smells some truth That you shouldn't speak and he speaks it and the place explodes, right? And I've been thinking about this and I think that comedians stand-up comedians Deal with a truth about themselves When they're good, there's plenty of standing communities that deal really with nothing Um I agree with you when you when somebody who is who is Doing it or not even good, but going to be good, you know, I mean that if they are Dealing with truths about themselves or about society and how they're perceived and yes and how they're perceived Then there's some that I still don't understand why they're doing And you know, they're sometimes you see them as mcs or openers or even headliners Who seem not connected to the material and I don't believe a word you're one of the great standards I'm not one of the great. Yes. I am not your But it's thank you for saying that but I'm not as Barry Cremens would say Take the compliment. I will take it. That's very nice. Take the fact. That's nice. I take the truth I aspire to be better than I am. There are some nights where I am okay with what I've done Take but I feel like in general. I am not a great comment, but thank you and there is a Well, I anyway you have you spawned a I didn't you did there was a lot of people doing that kind of thing It's just that I happen to be standing in the right place at the right time and for some reason got focused All right, I don't know that's not but that's not my question Thank you for the compliment you're so as a great comedian you deal with a truth about yourself the audience told you things about yourself that were painful For you to admit to yourself, but you were desperately trying I'm talking about myself. Yeah There were real truths about me and how I was perceived and how I came across And I went out every night and the audience told me Who I was warts and all And the choice was hide from This or keep doing it and I kept doing it When I'm dealing with other people who are not stand-up comics, this is what I'm discovering especially now They have several narratives going on in their head and they move and combine these narratives to perpetuate The untruth about themselves a version of the version of themselves that they can live with And no matter what truth you throw at them They will go into their head and get some narrative going And then throw it back at you to justify their untruth There I think there's people that do that in life all the time. Yeah, well no matter what their vote would you say that because You're a stand-up comic You can't do that and you know what the truth is about you um I don't I don't know that's a complex question. They're I I I feel like um We're pretty honest about you walk into a room. Hang on for one second. You walk into a room You're I know I mean, we're not close, but I We're close in a way. We did have remember though Yes, remember when I sit don't bring that up. Oh, is it are we being recorded? No, did we start the show yet? No And it was cold that night Oh, you're saying it was utilitarian The purpose of it. Yes. So the point I'm making is you walk into a room. Yes, and you are we know How janine is doing and all the pressure lifts because I know I I know what you need and who you are Do you mean walking into this room like today when I came over or you're saying on all the time On stage off stage. Janine enters a room. She walks on stage and we know How she's feeling and more importantly what she needs And I think you're dealing with the truth. I need validation. Yeah, but but you're dealing with the truth about yourself Yeah, I would say what I was going to say like about I started doing it when I was 19 as a junior in college I would say it took about 10 years in Of doing it before I felt oh, that's me. You know, I mean, I'm I'm being me now having said that then There are some there is footage of of me In the mid 90s when I did a half hour special hour special. I was like, that's not me I was so self-conscious even though if it wasn't being filmed it would have been different But when I've seen little bits and pieces of things that were filmed of me doing stand-up I'm like, oh no I'm so self-conscious that I am being a person that is not me. I'm being almost like I'm too cool for school you know, I mean just and sometimes not looking up and Speaking in kind of a deadpan deeper voice than his mind and it shames me terribly. I hate it What a squandered what a waste, you know, I mean like that's and I hate that it's out there to whatever degree it's out there What goes on with a young comic? I know That when I was starting out and doing television I would see it was very painful as a man To to see what I look like or to think I hate that to think and then I then I'd be saying Why okay television supposedly doesn't lie The camera does nothing but lie in certain sense in certain sense, but now with the hd I wish it would lie. I wish it was dishonest because nobody needs that much clarity. It looks horrible. I hate hd But so I would look at myself and I'd say I'm I'm a Hamunculus Why would any woman want to be with me? I should be I'm John Merrick. I should walk around with a potato sack over my head. That's how I feel too And then the next day I said, let me look at that again. I go. Well, that's not bad I mean, that's well, I don't look at it. Like I said, I can with all this distance if if There is everyone's so I late night on comedy central They'll show old specials of like I'm talking about four o'clock in the morning and if I have channels sir because a lot of times I am awake and I enjoy sometimes late night watching like qvc infomercials they make me laugh just Almost a horrendous television. I like to watch or on cozy tv or me tv simon and simon reruns or stuff like that I just enjoy it and sometimes i'll be channel surfing and um Comedy central will be showing clips of of me or other comics in my peer group from 92 93 94 And I I can with this many years look at it because that's a very young But but in my my very fat Person who is also uncomfortable being filmed Be that as it may I don't mind looking at a younger version of myself. I don't think it's attractive, but it's like, oh Look at that's what your face used to look like because it's different Now I can't stand it and when I loop or do adr, you know when you go in and and uh For whatever reason the sound in a scene didn't work or something like that And they put a big image of you on a on a screen and you have to do your dialogue and sync with it I can do it with my eyes closed. I am a master of looping so I can get in and get out I cannot look at me it ruins my day. It makes me very very unhappy When I when people Show me a picture of me because when they take a picture, they have to turn it around and show I try and look away from the phone It I hate confronting Not only my physical appearance, but the aging process In general and whose fault is that I've always been like that but whose fault is it because I'm like that my own Is it it's a waste of time. It's just another form of narcissism. I guess but but is it is it a for is it control that The culture I mean it's a cliche to say this But if you and this leads to my next question As I understand it, you don't have a cell phone or you have a cell phone. Yes. I don't have a smartphone I have a cell phone. I don't have email. I don't use a computer But that has nothing to do with me hating the way I look, okay This is the question I have The cliche is madison avenue wants us to look At their ads the underarm deodorant salesman on madison to me. That's if you ever do a sketch That's what a cliche you like if uh like a lennie bruce hack Hey the underarm deodorant salesman on madison avenue want you That seems like some That's a classic line. It's a cliche that They want us to feel fat too thin to melly whatever It's just business. They don't move product unless you feel this way about yourself and my question to you janine garoflo Yes, dave feldman if you had a smartphone and A good tv like netflix do you have oh, I don't have netflix But man, I was just when I was doing this movie upstate the house. I was staying and had netflix Oh, I saw not only am I an anglophile, but a River the netflix series was starring selen selen selen sarzgard and nicola walker A great australian series called rake Also, uh, a british series called marchella. I was Oh my gosh netflix is so are we proving the hacky premise in that If you had netflix And weren't subjecting yourself To commercials if you had a smartphone and you had ad blocker Madison avenue. Oh, no, that's got nothing to do that. I I don't want to look like some of the ad people That doesn't move me the the thing. I also uh, don't Do things to my body and stuff that that I guess one, you know That we're supposed to do. I've never been that overly concerned. I don't buy labels I don't care about what's in and out of fashion none of that stuff I'm not moved in that way. I have since childhood Disliked what I've seen in the mirror. It's garden variety. It's it's it's it's not it's it's that simple or that complex And yet and yet the boys have shown up today. No, no, no, that's different. The boys showed up today A a boy or two showed up today to listen to this interview. Mm-hmm. They never show up But that that I can't explain that but that has nothing to do with a physical appearance That may or may not have something to do with something I've done or who they think I am and I'm not even sure that's why they're here. That's just what you say I'm not going to sign off right and I'm like but growing up and and the great bulk of my life there was no Male interest to say you are now my parents would tell me I was a beautiful girl, but that doesn't count It actually it's worse Because it seems you know what I mean like you're a beautiful girl get your hair off your face You know that everybody's parent would say that Uh and again, this is not poor me. I'm just trying to answer your question and this is garden variety Just garden variety nonsense not liking the way one looks that that's not unusual um As I got older The only time there was interest from males Was after I started getting some degree of success now I'm not saying that's inherently a bad thing, but it is what it is and that's unusual That's an unusual dynamic for my generation For men, I'm not I'm talking about I'm 58 so My generation guys Were threatened by successful women not all Some still aren't some aren't so so that this would be a type a certain type of gentleman too I mean I had access to more male attention that I had I and to me So some of my first real relationship started around when I was 27 when I started being on tv But I emotionally was like a 13 or 14. You know, I didn't have the current It was like new to me Oh, I have a boyfriend, you know, I mean it would be and and I was sort of aware of it at the time like I'm very much behind here um in how The genders relate and sexual politics and all this kind of stuff And that's where again my drinking increased Because I was not comfortable Being a sexual person At all it was uh unusual and also my libido. I've discussed this before it is very very low. It always has been It just is that's just my nature um And so I never was particularly moved by sexuality or interested in that But it was newish at 27 to me to have multiple suitors and have multiple sexual partners It was enjoyable, but a lot of alcohol was involved in that um Now it wasn't all male there still was a difference between the males that were attracted to me and the males that were attracted to The leading lady types. Does that make sense? So I always was aware of that There there is a difference and then there was also some without getting into details and it's just I say this only out of interest A number over the years of very Very known males Who I slept with but who would not have dated me out In the world does that make I was not to be photographed with as their girlfriend They had different different taste in women in their private lives and they did in their public life Their public girlfriends were what you would expect exactly what you would expect In in private some of these gentlemen loved kind of like Comedy women or punk rock women or artsy farts. Did they save it? No didn't have to it was very clear And and and I was complicit in this and I this is nothing I'm ashamed of or nothing that makes me sad I'm just telling you even when I had male attention. It was uh Comedy comedy guys, you know, I mean guys that liked comedy or who would have gone after Catherine O'Hara or Andrea Martin And I I tend to think oh that shows good taste, you know, I like but the the uh, They're still and even those comedy there still is a premium put on a certain look Uh, a female and I didn't let me process this you got your there's nothing to process It's nothing shameful and nothing. No, there's a truth to it that I need to I apologize, but I'm so there are guys Who this is in the 90s? This doesn't happen anymore. No, I do think it happens. I think no, no I mean I'm older now. What's weird is now that I'm older very young when when there's male attention It's interesting. It's very very young guys who seem to be intrigued by older women And and they're flirtatious in a strange way, but Certainly not males my own. I think I think younger men are better Than I think they've been raised properly. Well, when they get to be older, they're no longer going to want older women That will stop. How do you know that? It's something that is that's also somewhere of you know movies have been made about in order to that There's always been a thing about the or or last picture show bogged down. It's just from chlores leachman Timothy bottoms. There there's always been that Do you know? I mean that but once the the male is age commensurate with the older lady That is no longer appealing than it's young younger women and and that's not a criticism. I understand why people are attracted to younger People for very many reasons not just physical But emotional how that view on life and things that have happened to them. Why am I attracted to women my own age? Uh, because you're cut above Dave. No, seriously. No, I don't know my shrink says it's abnormal It is abnormal. Uh, if you look if you hear if stories are to be believed or dating sites are to be believed Or your peer group is to be believed My friend and just one example My friend Mary Beth has been my one of my closest friends since college. She is divorced. She's my age 53 She will always encourage me to participate with her in these dating sites just to see I don't just I don't sign on but I I go travel with her through these things When she puts her age for real the amount of interest drops Recipitously, she's an attractive person when she says her age And when she doesn't photoshop the pictures and stuff Oh my god, and it's men and men who are older than her and her age and very close to her age They that they have their limits about, you know, they'll even say in their profile Interested in any woman from 25 to 35. That's about the extent of it 35 Now like I said, it is natural to be attracted to younger people more, uh, love they're lovely Young people just by the virtue of them being young and it also brings one back to a time, you know I mean like the of remembrance. There's a a nostalgia to it a sentimentality and it's also just sexier That's that's unfortunate, but that that is basically the reality a a 25 year old Is going to be a bit sexier And better to look nicer to look at then a 55 year old It would be nice to biden to a woman named Madeline and have some remembrances of but My I have two things about this Bob Saget, I'm not violating a trust because we all We all love bops There isn't anybody on the planet who doesn't love bob saget and there's a reason he and don rickles or best friends And I was you know getting divorced and I said he says well, who are you dating who you didn't come out with me Come out with me come out with me. I'm gonna you know, you know, you tend to attract A certain age group and they're my daughter's age group and I can't Right do that And he says what age group and do you like I said? Well, you know, I kind of Like women my age. She goes, you know, I can take you to the LA county morgue Why are they dead in their 50s? They live longer than men He says I can we'll we'll clean the marble slab, but I have a friend and Well, I can see in in the long term I have a lot of I think it makes much more sense to be age commensurate And if you're gonna have a long-term relationship if you're having a one night stand, okay You know, I can see but I don't have a great deal of respect for for males or females who skew much much younger I think it speaks volumes about them and not in a positive way my shrink said to me I can't give his name, but I have a great shrink 17 years Uh We're coming up on our anniversary. I hope I remember it. I think it's leather He said to me when I was still married He would say and I would never cheat but he said to me when it was when the writing was on the wall He said if you're gonna have an affair And I didn't he said if you're gonna have an affair make sure it's with a very young woman I said why he said A woman in your age bracket Will make it'll be the rubicon. There'll be no turning back Mm-hmm You need a young woman to Feel sorry for you Give you sex Break your heart walk away She's got the whole Right world in front of her you do not want to get involved with somebody while you're married with somebody Right. Well, it'll be a similar thing It would be like if you get involved with somebody age commensurate while you're married to a person age commensurate It's gonna be quite similar if you get involved with a very young person. It's a thrill Um It will be exciting and then you'll see why it probably wouldn't work out in the long term I also I I have a libido, but I don't Drink and I can't imagine committing adultery I don't believe sex Is so pure that you can't stop in the middle of sex and think oh my god I'm cheating on the mother of my children. I just don't believe that oh I'm sure that happens all the time and people wash it away with with drugs and alcohol or just their own mind They're able to put it Aside at at least I mean your mind wanders when you're having sex, right? Well, after you have an orgasm and pardon me if this is vulgar It's uh, there's that depression that can hit if you're doing something that is maybe you shouldn't be doing But you can you can hang in there until After that happens, but then it's doubly depressing one must confront Whatever it is one is struggling maryl marco was on the show about three weeks ago She said to me that for some reason humans cannot have sex without It being complicated I don't know if that's true. I think there's people who do it all the time that they have sex for both parties I think that there are some people especially with the new dating apps and things that exist There are some that are straight straight ahead just for one night sense and definitely in the lgbtq community if i'm understanding things correctly There is especially with the males Very much a premium put on no strings one You know and what do you think the glory hole is about for christ sake? You know, I mean like talk about Oh, I'm sorry. I thought I covered that up Yeah, what is that about? That glory hole keeps staring me in the face. Somebody better put their dick through it It's just unrequited glory hole but uh What could be more like No strings than that. You know, I mean the the public restrooms scenario, but there's plenty of men and women Who are that's what they want is a a no No strings attached and they mean it. I think there's a lot of great many people who are quite capable of it Now if you uh Are doing it and you still confront it with that person if they're still coming in and out of your life That that may complicate things or if you're a drama king or queen and you want some drama You'll pretend you'll you'll you'll convince yourself. There's some strings but um The problem is with infidelity, which is like 90 percent of marriages 90 percent of people in marriages are Deal with infidelity. That's just we live to the age of like 90 100 now You know, it's it's difficult monogamy is difficult for anyone But for years and years and years and years and years and also people are interacting with more new and different people all the time Uh in the old days, maybe they weren't as much um And also I think infidelity can be fine if if if it helps the marriage then it's helpful Yeah, it has made some people realize I don't want to lose this. I think it can work I've never been married. So I I don't know But I have been with the same gentleman for 17 years and we had an open relationship in the beginning For many years and that's why I think we're still together. Um and I think also what the reason we're monogamous now is we quit drinking together, you know, I mean All bets were off when did you quit drinking? I quit drinking in 2001 He quit a few years after that a couple years after that, but when we were both heavy drinkers Forget it. You know, I mean like there was no telling I've talked about this on the show. I quit drinking in 88 And one and I was already borderline married And that's one of the reasons I quit drinking because I was on the road And I thought This is not gonna be good if I continue to drink Now I'm pretty much single and I'm sober single and sober that I don't know how anybody would do that I mean if I Not I'm not into and even if Pete and I were to break up. It doesn't bother me to be alone I have no fears of old age by myself I I don't believe I would go back into the world of Trying to find someone because it's not It doesn't move me that way, but if I did I would have to start drinking again. I'm so glad you said I can't imagine You're the only person who's I could never in a million years meet somebody not for drinks For on a first on a first day. I don't know this person And I'm meeting not for drinks That's crazy. Thank god for it would make no sense to me or I'd have to get into pills Something. Yeah, there would have to be some or smoke pot again, whatever it is. There's no way I could go into this Sober and no way I could be sexual For the first time at this age After all these years, right? Absolutely not There's no way that the drugs or alcohol would have to be involved and is it because drugs and alcohol Is a safety net so the next day you can say No, no, no, I don't care about the next day. I mean if you're asking about me at my age now and dating I have no guilt There'd be nothing I would be guilty about if I was a single person So there would be no need for the next day thing. So it's not a safety net for that day I guess you could say it's a safety. Oh, it's insurance For that night that um, a I can be more easy going if this is not going well I could tolerate a hell of a lot more anti-intellectual conversation because I'm kind of buzzed Um, and I could get undressed if I'm wasted. So to me, it's just insurance that it's going to go smoothly There's not going to be a problem the next day Unless I've a hangover then that's just Basic like ouch my head hurts. So I I'm just thinking personally that for me There Though any woman who would have a one night stand with me would need alcohol To explain away What she agreed to Why It involves hats Uh-huh like the one you're wearing now. Yes. You are you saying involves role-playing You were just being self-deprecating, which I'm not gonna allow you to do in that So if we're being serious because I would like to hear what you have to say about this And I'm sorry to get tough with you. David. I'm sorry to get tough with you, David But really this cannot be born Uh, there are a great many women would would be involved with you I know you know this deep down and uh Now I accept that we don't like the way we look, but you must know that you're an interesting conversationalist Yeah, I I have women, you know, I don't have I don't have the moves down You don't need to well, I do. What are the moves? What are the moves? Why because there's no alcohol involved So this is the only problem I can see is that there's no problem And I don't like women and I also don't like women In general Yes That's the problem and I like They're filthy. I like men. Well, why now here let's let's just get that out in the open then it's 2017 Well, why can't as rex harrison say why can't a woman be more like a man? I don't know as gore vidal would say and I I said it earlier sexuality is fluid Now a lot of people mistake me for gay and jewish I've told you this before to which I say thank you because it makes me seem far more interesting and textual Than than an asexual atheist. I am neither a jew nor gay But and a lot of people I think over the years have thought I was gay because they they find me to be kind of Manish, you know, I mean not the most feminine I don't see that but go ahead That assumption has been made About me and whether it has to do with the function of the stand-up comedy or or my behavior I don't know what it is, but it doesn't bother me I often used to think it would be life would be easier if I was gay You know it'd be much easier for me to be sexual with a female, but the reality is I'm not attracted to females I'm not criticizing women find it. I'm being serious. I'm not looking for a comedy bit This is the god's honest truth I wish I were gay because I Because I like Penises I like kissing men. I like back rubs. I like talking to men. I don't like If you're being serious I took you at your word. There's nothing wrong. I was gonna say why no, no, no, that was my defense mechanism Oh, I you said you sold it very well, and I thought you well, that's what I do Janine Right, but you were saying truth be told. Oh, well, that's but you don't have you quantify it It characterizes. I suck you in. No, uh, the point I'm making is I do wish I were gay because I find that women There I am surprised by how heterosexual I am in all seriousness I I am amazed by Now that I'm pretty much divorced How I gravitate to women and that if people say to me If a guy goes to me you want to go out tonight? I go, no If I if a woman wants to have dinner or something. Yes, absolutely Even if you know, no sex just talk I just want to be around women And I'm surprised by that and I'm surprised by How powerful the urge is You know the other stuff the libido Um, why are you surprised by this? Well because it's a power it's powerful, you know, and it's something That when you're married for a long time You tamp it down if right, but also I think you tamp it down in some ways But also it gets lost in the day to day quotidian day to day As someone who's been in a 17 year relationship. That is not the prime mover for us anymore We're closer than we were before oddly, but Neither of us are eager to have sex with each other after 17 years. It's difficult. It's difficult to keep it interesting and so our Our desire for one another in the sexual realm is almost nil But we are best friend. We really are we are very very good friends and highly compatible Compatible living so what is it? Let me ask you a question. I'm being serious but I I am sexually attracted occasionally to other Other men and usually the ones that I've not met at all. I just see them and there's flashes of like a visceral Okay, so I need to understand something because all my reading tells me the following that women You're using sweeping narratives again. Yes That women are not into one night stands Biologically, that's just not true. All right. This is what I they're not into one night stands with somebody They actually like they're fine with them if they're not interested in going forward But also don't forget there's always the push and pull whoever displays like First the other will respond by pulling away that and doesn't matter what the gender is if if you It tends to be in a lot of relationships, especially when you're younger It's very rare when two people are on the same same page the next day Despite the intensity of the night before a lack thereof If if even if the guy was very very interested in this girl if the girl displays A strong interest or what is perceived as neediness or cleanest The guy will tend to to back off the same for females if the guy appears to be a little too like What do you want to do now? Do you want to go to breakfast? The the female will tend to pull off Even if they were going to be on the same page I don't know why that is but that just tends to be the way it is Don't don't play overplay your hand right away. Wait and see and then also There's plenty of relationships that shouldn't last as long as they do But there's a constant push pull of somebody liking somebody more in it and that keeps the other person interested It's almost like a science project because you want to be validated by that person Who seems not to like you or who is ambivalent? It's not real, but it drives a lot of relationships But women aren't interested in one night stands until they are just the same way and men aren't interested in one night stands unless they are Okay, so hang on for one second Before movies and meeting cute and I hate them. I hate them. I hate them. I love them Yeah, which is a fake life, but okay, but but people brainwashes people right. So did this exist You know in the 19th century where it did where but that's still meet cute Why I I can't say when a fine lady was stepping out of a carriage and then a fine gentleman would say careful the horses have been here And he saves her from stepping in pile of filth Now is that meeting cute? I don't know if he slips or throws his coat down Then remembers he left something important that coat then by God pray it is But yes, of course it must have It must have existed right people are people it existed in a less Hack way probably than we seem but don't forget Hollywood has been hacked since Hollywood has been Hollywood from some from a lady being tied to train tracks And Dudley do right straight through and to where the boys are or bikini beach or whatever. There's always been hack Relationships push and pull which is you need the second day the second day and stuff like that Or the thin man series merneloy and and david nimmin that that's Classic, okay, but I'm talking about the second act He loves me. I don't like him. I love that back at that predates movies the second act in a relationship It's got to but I but don't forget that in the old days people just got married They had to you know what I mean like that that's just the way it is There's very few options and if you didn't what's wrong with you people are suspicious So you just marry who is ever standing in the right place at the right time and you have the kids And then there's no more time to think about it. And there's a theory now that that is better Than what we have. Oh, that's a bunch of garbage That's garbage. You know how many Children and people suffered for years in terrible dead-end relationships Until we were allowed to talk about it and until the sexual revolution until the pill Until a million other things Everybody depending on your age can talk about the how their grandmother suffered But are you familiar with this new theory? Uh, no, I don't have to be because I'm sure I'm sure There's no end of new theories that yes, you did these are the rules somebody should choose your partner for you And that's it. There's no option. There's no divorce The theory is And there is some validity to it Anecdotally No, because in many ways it helps me and my narrative, right? That's okay. That's an anecdote That's for you personally this works for me. Yes. Yes, and anything that works for you is fine with me But it doesn't mean it's it's it's in the aggregate or the scientific method has been applied Well, if it's true for me Then it's true. Then it's true. I don't believe this is true, but one of the theories is that Once people started marrying for love It made them ill-equipped for marriage I Disagree with that because love Falling in love with somebody Doesn't teach you how to deal with Life well here. No, I disagree with that. What can be problematic, especially in the 50s 40s 30s Getting married as a teenager for love less than a year after you met this first boyfriend that you may have gone all the way With and now you dug in Now that didn't teach you to learn how to live with somebody Learn to negotiate And this goes for both partners the man and the woman or the woman and the man the man but in the 1950s Let's say heterosexual Uh, you have a lot of young women who lived in their father's house. They live in their husband's house They are not equipped for anything really they have uh Not lived life as much as they should have even if they were lucky enough to go to college They were still probably pretty Shelter because if you were lucky enough to go to college back then you had a pretty cloistered upbringing Um, unless you were city college or whatever i'm talking about like bass or whatever or whatever mary mccarthy wrote about But these are women even in the group. That's a very honest novel had no idea about birth control You know, these are ivy league educated women who were forbidden from discussing sex talking about or thinking about it And back in those days you had to be married to get birth control or if you went to get a diaphragm or or Any douching stuff you had to put in a brown paper sack in new york city in the pharmacy And people would look at you as scants, you know that type of thing. You saw mad men this series Yeah, man with Peggy and all that stuff Um, my own parents were teenagers my mother got pregnant That's that Now they were a team and they loved each other now. What did they mean to be married? As teenagers No, no probably not my dad was still at school Um, they were wonderful people who made the best of it. There was no choice In fact, my mother and she spoke honestly about this was going to have my brother and put him up for adoption And then her mother said we will adopt him and then she said no Because her that was not something she wanted. Um So doesn't that speak to what I just said? No It doesn't what i'm saying is is it there you're the married out of obligation Obligation and love they they were boyfriend and girlfriend Right, but they knew they had to keep it Right and it presented a great many problems that they never aired in front of us But that were there about Unfulfilled things and then unfortunately my mother died young she died when she was 42 Um, now would she have been uh, but she did say and I think we talked about this before so I'll nutshell it She died It comforted somewhat by the fact that she did not see harm come to any of her children Because she said that she would have never survived if her children had died before her You know, I mean, yeah, and she took some some comfort in that um Now my mother and father Committed to the team raising of children and making a life for those children And they were very civil to one another very respectful. My father had affairs the entire marriage Uh, he was a very I guess a much more sexual worse. My mother was raised in a very catholic very frightening way By the mother she did not want to adopt my brother Um, who wound up living with us much to my father's chagrin Um, she was born in 1898 northern island if that wants to tell you what her personality was Oldest of 13 children emigrated to new york both parents and a few siblings died in short order of like diphtheria And smallpox and stuff and she never let anyone forget it. That was that was her whole life Never letting anyone forget it That and rewrapping her her ulcered ankle and putting pennies and coffee jars and hiding food but other than that, um My mother was a product of that That that union of her parents And also she uh, her parents had had children earlier than her and they passed away My mother was the only surviving child Which was a miracle that my grandmother was like 40 already where she had my mom That's why if your listeners are saying there's no way somebody was born in 1898 My mother would be like 80 now. Okay, so you can extrapolate from there Um, she was ill-prepared like many in her generation For life Do you know what I mean? But she had worked, you know as a secretary from the time she was a teenager She always worked so she made the best of it. I'm sure she had other ideas for herself um My father certainly did other ideas For achieving things and doing things But they are wonderful parents Then there was my mother's friends who eventually when they would I can remember when they would get their divorces A 38 this is new. There was still a stigma to it. I only had in my class Two kids who had divorced parents think of that and my mom wasn't comfortable with me spending the night at their house If you want to believe that one, but it was still that's still how it was viewed in their world um The women I would overhear my mom talking to glennis and francis from the bronx So she grew up with after their divorces and they would come and sit at the kitchen table and talk about this whole new world That they knew nothing up sexual dating everything. So that's what i'm talking about is they're not prepared It has nothing to do with love or not love They were not prepared for life going from high school Dad's house to your husband's house And then trying to live and then when the 1960s and 70s came then what the fuck are they supposed to do? Now do you know what I mean? Like that that that threw them for double triple whammies, right? That was a very long-winded answer. I'm so sorry. I have I have a no, it's fascinating. I wanted to ask you about Women Well, I can't speak for all of them. I can only speak to myself one of the things I always say about you From day one, you were forgiving of men I don't understand what you mean. I think that you started in a very sexist male dominated club scene Well, most jobs are to some degree sexist and male dominated. I mean that's certainly changed now. I mean there's so many pre and eat a hill pre and eat a hill And you were forgiving I I'm not gonna make a value judgment, but You were forgiving. You were very comfortable around the bad behavior Well, there's nothing one can do about it. I don't like it. I don't condone it I did realize early on the world. What is the point of saying anything? Also? I did have the benefit as a child Uh led to believe I could do, you know, there was no sexism that I could see In you know very much and also people forget how very progressive the early 70s were especially in certain pockets of the country More so than the 60s even and I happened to go to an elementary school that was very kind of progressive hippie tv Recycling and sesame street electric company, you know, just uh You know what I mean? Like it just happened to be one of those great early 70s like the ice storm type things If you saw that movie by angling And I benefited as did all the females. I think in that school greatly from there wasn't no Higher visible to me as I recall visible hierarchy that way And that last it's the cracks started to show in that when I went to a different junior high in high school That wasn't actually my high school is pretty forward thinking but the jocks the introduction of jocks into my life Which didn't exist in elementary school in junior high Um that showed me the first Eugh, you know, I mean difference of behavior and also adolescence the way Because I was talking to my sister, but I'm not forgiving of it But I I I I I understand I understand it exists So I don't want anyone to think when I say forgiving like oh boys. We boys. I don't think that Um, uh, it bothers me a great deal the oppression that exists in many hierarchies in many ways In and outside of stand-up. In fact, I faced much more of it when I started doing television In some of the writers rooms and stuff like that just just this pervasive idea of that Uh, the guys are gonna write better stuff and the guys, you know, I mean that that but that's that's just the way it is And and you just gotta you know say, you know, it is what it is Listeners to this show are gonna be sick of my asking you this question. Sure They're gonna be sick. Go ahead and ask it because I I'm I'm and I talked to my sister about this Would you say Women who are my daughter's age you met my daughter, which is a little baby. Yes, but so I only know her as a little baby They ain't taken it They and we're not gonna explain it to you if you can't figure it out. It's your problem Not mine. I would say that again, that's a more, um Depends depends because there's plenty of women young women In relationships that they're being abused in by their own high school junior high boyfriend who have Witness bad behavior and repeat it and they and they put up with it or they've been Inappropriately touched or whatever. They haven't said anything Um, you're talking about my daughter. I'm talking about your daughter's age and in Young girls putting up with a lot of nonsense and afraid to say anything about it That's probably never going to change young boys too. So would you say That my daughter is right and it's difficult for me to admit this My daughter has made it clear to me I'm not going to explain to you female politics You figured out all on your own Get out of the way. It ain't happening anymore I don't I don't know what that means exactly what she's referring to with female politics because actually politics to me is politics I'm talking about feminist Feminist politics, but to me feminism Means you you believe in social justice for all my daughter will walk into humans, right? My daughter will walk into where I'm working the first thing out of her mouth And I'm proud to tell you this because you remember her as a little baby I'm proud to tell you this but it's also difficult She walks into an office where I'm working and says how many women are here Who how many of them are writers? And what I'm ashamed to tell you is I'll occasionally say, you know, can I just talk to you about your life? No, how many women are working here You rebut you so She might also be really savvy saying I don't want to talk about this I I can read my father like a book what I'm gonna do is is establish more moral Signposts and he knows it's it's like mentioning the Holocaust. Oh now we can't talk about. Thank you. Israel anymore. Thank you She's playing me. She she it may be both. It shows you that she's very bright. Yeah, but all kids With any degree of intelligence know how to read their parents by the time she's your daughter's age And she understands that a she can claim the world high ground and she may believe very well believe it She doesn't want to know but she also knows that you have shown by your behavior. Oh I'm not gonna talk about something that she may or may not want to discuss with me. So she is bringing up a difficult I don't know for sure. No, I think you're right. I'm saying she sounds pretty bright to me. Well, you know what she did They she played me. I took her to see Lisa Lampinelli when she was like 12 And you know, Lisa is pretty and she says the n-word but you know, my feeling is It's like don't you you know that she does not have any rate hold it racist stuff. She's being it's almost She is actually more open-minded than the average person to say these things. So my daughter's laughing hysterically at it And I'm laughing hysterically 20 minutes into Lisa's act You know clockwork. She drops the n-bomb the place erupts. You cannot believe she's but she just softened up the audience Enough to get away with it. It's masterful And walking out with this daughter of mine who's under the age of 13 she says to me That was absolutely hysterical However, she did cross the line a couple of times and that's an easy way to get people to and I said you're playing me But that's even if she's playing you which I don't know if she is she was saying very bright Things for a person her age. Yeah, but she was like manipulated what she was saying was That was so much fun. That's so cool that I got to see Lisa Lampinelli Can you take me to go see somebody else? I didn't even get that. Oh, yeah, she was saying, you know, can I go see Bobby slayton with your oh my goodness I didn't get that. I thought I thought Wow, you're right. I was thinking she was saying something in terms of I'm going to anticipate what the conversation might be About this or I'm going to nip in the bud him wanting to talk to me about what I've heard Oh, that's true. Yeah, but you're you're quite right But you know, she's proven that she can see that anybody any 12 year old that's going to come out with that phrase uh Deserves to go see whatever come right want to see with you. So going back to this generation it is good That somebody like there's a comedian comedian not a comedian. I've since learned Micah fox Do you know Micah? I know I know I'm not that familiar with the work. I know she's she reminds me of my daughter because it's like If you don't understand it, it's your problem not mine And as uncomfortable as that makes me feel they're right Right, I think when it comes to we need them and not the When it when it comes to uh unreasonable political things or cultural things I am in agreement with if you don't understand that's your problem. I believe that like I don't understand why Uh, it it that it is allowed in this in this day and age For somebody to say no women cannot have reproductive justice. No gays cannot Do this or that or the transgender can't that that is beyond the pale to me And I feel like it is quite right to say no no, you know, that's your problem You don't get a seat at the table. You don't get to be on the news as if it's another side to a story or an argument It's not legitimate. It's not it's just as much as McCarthyism to me and until somebody Says have you no sense of decency? It's going to keep going where these people get to pretend that they have a say in this when they it is not Right, but what I don't like is when people say across the board If you don't get it that you're when it's something like that that has nuance to it or there's complexity to it or that empathy needs to be A part of something that bothers me when people just shut down All things but I do agree with it in the case of bigotry And and and oppression and things like that. I do feel like this is not to be tolerated I will not hear your your your fanciful tales of the bible and homosexuality and god hating Homosexuality, you know that that kind of thing. I first of all, you're an adult and that you believe in in a hypothetical entity What you call god that already throws me and your judgment, but be That you're you're actually claiming that that The gay agenda it's a choice That they are Degenerates of some kind or what have you or that women are somehow inferior this that the other or that immigrants are Inherently evil that kind of thing when an adult says these things Everything about their judgment. I have to call into question Um, and if they're lying just to get a rise out then their integrity is called into question So I don't know what's worse worse if you're lying about believing it and you're using it cynically or you actually believe it They're both horrible options But there is no wiggle room there for me. I I have no wish to build a bridge with the trump people I've no wish to agree to disagree Um, they've done a terrible thing. There is no They're there for me when people did the post mortem after the election He didn't win I can't stand when they give the trump voter the benefit of the doubt that it has something to do with globalization or nafta It doesn't I have I wanted to ask you a question about but we also have to be done I know because I I think your audience would be like I can't listen to her anymore Oh, no, no, no, I'm talking for a solid hour Okay, I have two more areas and then okay, but you know how long I talk about these areas I could listen to you forever. Oh you old so-and-so Uh So what I wanted to do is I wanted to ask you about After the election, I thought of you because They blamed the election they blamed hillary, right, of course Let's kick a woman when she's down when she won by a wide margin, right? They blamed lina dunham That that to me again, you're not a serious person if you say it when I hear those things and I I I have one second. Let me ask my question. Let me let me I got you revved up But that just drives me nuts, but like the iraq war. I was wrong about the iraq war I have to say That after the election that he didn't win So if you thought he wasn't gonna win you weren't wrong about this and I admit I'm wrong for saying this on this show I blamed rob reiner and lina dunham For turning off voters That is insane. I know you're gonna be I can't let you but let me ask my question. Ah, yes And at one time People would have blamed you Instead of lina dunham Oh, I don't know. I never I never achieved a level that that that lina dunham has achieved consciousness. No No, no, no, no, please and you're my but but anyway, okay That is of no importance to blame rob reiner and lina dunham tells me you're not a serious person In that moment in that moment because if you don't factor in So many things not only the theft of that election the russian hacking the lies The vitriol for hillary clinton that they couldn't even articulate to you if they wanted to and the very fact that if you could Be turned off by reiner and dunham. You were never going to vote for hillary. Anyway, so don't pretend There's some something to blame there But and if that's how weak your alliances are about something so important as an electoral vote Then again, you're not a serious person and you need to be punished Because that's crazy But if you felt like blaming lina dunham or carl reiner, you already were for some reason mad at them Or don't like them, uh, whether it be anti-semitism misogyny or you're just stupid. I don't know what it is But that's your problem But to say and to not bring up the fact a hillary one by millions of votes Be the republicans have been gerrymandering and redistricting and rolling back the voting rights act for years See the type of people that voted for trump are immobile They aren't going they've done them not with staying nothing and they had nothing to do with nafta Nothing to do with globalization nothing to do with being left behind nothing to do with And don't give me this narrative about they voted obama bullshit Don't give me the narrative about did you see that statistic the college educated women? Fuck you that's not lying to me about this narrative. You heard somebody else say Just not true not possible not possible for 85 of college educated women to vote for trump never Never happened and also it's just the the all those people that were democrats and voted for obama twice voted for trump Fuck you don't lie to me with your anecdotes to support some theory that nylon magazine had No, it's crap. It's crap the the type of voter that voted for trump Is a very specific individual and pervious to politics Issues reason There is no evidence to support that they were motivated by anything other than build the wall Lock her up grab them by the pussy The the apprentice they're gonna pay for it muslim ban All the deadlies all the basis basis basis things And even if you were early in with trump because something resonated with you just the different way he spoke that sounded interesting to you If you were a reasonable person and a thinker you would have been out By month five You know whatever it is and also when it was displayed that he is told more lies than any other candidate that there He has had many opinions on such that he was exactly the opposite way When he ran the other time or when he was a private citizen that he wouldn't show you his taxes that he Has been shown time and time again to be a dishonest mean-spirited immature Person who has not nearly the wealth he claims and also is hiding some of that wealth from you has As he degrades china his products are made in china as you know, I mean like so I can only assess That you voted for trump for the most base of reasons having nothing to do with any issues if you cared about NAFTA globalization Jobs you would have gone for bernie sanders elizabeth warren would be an idol to you And to some degree the progressive wing of the democratic caucus so since none of those things are true You are a piece of shit if you voted for trump and i'm including relatives and members of my own family who I have a great deal of difficulty dealing with now because it's not a joke What has happened? This is very serious and those even that sat out Or voted jill stein and I appreciate jill stein but to To to deny hillary clinton who's given her life to public service who would have been a Globally respected world leader and who was as prepared if not more so than anybody who's ever been to take that seat Uh, it I don't think more of you. You're not cool That you voted jill stein just for shits and giggles or you voted trump because you thought it was funny Fuck you, you know, I mean, I get very upset about this clearly and it's probably terrible to Make sure to close like this. No, no, no But I can't stand it. I won't indulge but you are right and we're gonna wrap it up The reason I I want to go back to lina dunham and blaming hollywood liberals because there was a time when you Yeah, and it was stupid then and it's vitriol for no purpose It's easy and it shows a lack of serious concern for political issues to blame hollywood Yeah, and and and which hollywood the ones that show for republican conventions those that hollywood they got plenty of hacks On their side plenty of athletes plenty of country singers plenty of Faded action here. They they do get the worst sir the worst celebrities. They don't get any of the good ones But there are plenty of quote-unquote celebrities that have always been involved in republican politics And is it that hollywood that you want to blame? Or but it's to say that Any actor or singer Is to quote-unquote blame tells me that you're looking for any port in a storm to put your anger in And also it's an easy shot and it means you're not paying attention that that's ridiculous and anybody like I said Who was changing their allegiance or sitting it out because somehow riner rubbed them the wrong way They're lying to you They were never going to vote hillary or they were never going to vote the first was many many of these people don't vote You know the people that get real mad And a number of my siblings who claim they vote republicans I can guarantee you they've never voted ever they don't have to the republicans will vote for them exactly But also it my sisters always claim republicanism. They've never voted. I know they haven't they haven't Okay, finally and you've been very generous with your time and And I'm sorry. I said fuck you with such vehemence. I actually don't like that kind of vulgarity but that's the level of Of anger that these narratives that keep getting swept about until people that should know better believe them you you Again, I'm going to ask you one final question. Sure And this is it. I am like ted bundy Attractive the judge felt that if he if so articulate he could have been somebody That he's saying in front of the parents of all the dead girls That's my favorite clip of that ted bundy thing where the judge in front of the dead women's parents You know what? You seem like a nice guy articulate You could have had a great career in the law The judge he did. I didn't know that. Yeah. Yeah, there's footage you can see and they show it sometimes on a and e of Well that of the judge saying that but also in the same at the same token Ted bundy's fiance who is being interrogated by ted bundy who's defending himself And behind her neck is a picture of all the slain girls And in the middle of the interrogation ted bundy goes to his oh not not as fiance his girlfriend is living girlfriend Will you marry me and she goes? Are you kidding me crying crying tears of joy on the stand on the stand on the stand isn't that charming He uh while he was cross examining his own Girlfriend who was lying about his whereabouts on certain he proposed to her Right in court and she was thrilled boy. I thought of proposing to my wife on the jumbo tron was cute This this is while he's Defending himself about 21 murders and the pictures of all the dead girls are on a court. She said yes, not just yes, but Tears of beauty queen joy Okay, this is we're gonna wrap it up. I promise I promise yes. Yes. I promise we're gonna wrap it up We're gonna wrap it up my but i'm ted bundy. Yes. I talked to a shrink And I say how am I supposed to feel here Because I what is a normal human being? Feel when this happens to me when a person is slain. No, no, I'm just saying in terms of just daily Interaction somebody said oh you're saying in general. How if I was if you're ted bundy. No, no, no, let me I'm i'm david felbin I'm talking about me. I thought you I'm giving you a compliment I thought you were being ted bundy, but I am ted bundy What I'm saying is oh you're you're pretending hypothetically. No, I think I I think that After Decades of psychoanalysis being with a shrink Who has said to me this is what a normal person feels like I've eventually been trained to have to behave and and seem he's opened up neural pathways that I go Oh a normal person when somebody calls you incompetent and dishonest A normal person gets upset when they're told So oh, okay, so I should be upset with that person. So you're are you going back to me saying you're not a serious person Because you don't believe the line had done them. Thank you. Let me let me ask you're gonna say you called me incompetent No, no, no, no, no, I'm I'm saying this is a long-winded compliment. Okay But I have learned How to feel and how to think I I've been in it with a shrink since I was 18 And I go, no, you can't be treated that way. You should be You should stand up for yourself there or you should walk away here or you should be angry or whatever And so I've learned how to have the right emotions and feelings because I wasn't allowed to have them as a kid When I was growing up We did what Ralph nader told us to do Yeah, seatbelts unsafe at any speed, but he'd feel and and and as an adult young adult Ralph nader would fill out my ballot He used to send out a ballot. Oh, no, he's been a people don't know this about him He's been fighting the good fight for so many years He's been an advocate for us for so many years and that's why I also won't tolerate criticism of I do a radio show with him every week That's you Well, I wear a hat And I used to get I didn't have to pay attention to the the ballot would come I go Ralph says this this this this And I am putting you In the same category as Ralph nader. Oh, no. No. No. No. Yes. Yes. Yes. He is so so far No, no, no, no and then I have a question. Yeah You Got everything right On the test lots lots of people iraq you got everything a lot of people were right about it No, but you were right and you and you were and I remember You said to me I was working for bill mar and I had made the switch From denis miller right to bill mar Around in 2003 because of the war. Yeah, and you did bill's show and we're talking And I said there's an colder she looks there's an colter. She looks like fun And you said to me stay the fuck away from her And I did I didn't know anything Why did she look like fun to you? She just looked well Because she looks like a up for anything blonde because I wasn't serious about The issues Right, but you were much will you is familiar with her her her style? No, I was at that time I was You know I married I had kids. I was bourgeois. I it was all a game Right, right. She looks like fun And you said stay the fuck away from her and I went I better listen to janine. So here's my question My two issues my core issues that I get up every day Medicare for all and bring back the draft Well, that's always a wise thing for any society the draft should absolutely What is your core? What are what because I need to know what I should be paying attention to And so what but you already know no, no, no That's those are my core, but what are your core? Issues that have to be addressed. I would say electoral reform Yeah Now more than ever. So stop blaming lina dunham. It's up again electoral reforms the way re-examine the way Our elections are held and the amount of weight each state has Disproportionate to their delegates things like that and should change it that the delegates and super-delegates don't have to go the way of whatever the You know, I mean, they're not obligated to go with the candidate that it's been called for in that state Does that make sense? Also media reform and bring back the Fairness the fairness act although having said that it's not a side again of a story to be anti-gay anti-immigrant You know fox news is not a side to a story is right. It's not You know, oh, you're not getting this information Also, I would say the funding of public television and public radio That it should stop being in jeopardy all the time that the republicans can can pull funding from from from public television public broadcasting and From from arts or programs from from public schools that you can't touch it You can't touch a head start program. You can't touch an after-school extracurricular programs, especially in public underserved schools. I guess that would be it but um That's you seem like you are also, you know what the core things what your medicare Social safety knows what you're saying most everybody's medicare people aren't dying in the streets like they used to and finally And in summation the rule on this show is that I will always promote st. Jude's If we do a danie thomas joke, but there was We did no danie thomas coffee table jokes to make room for daddy's coffee table What is your charity that you want people to give? Oh, actually, there's so Uh, I am uh, but this some of the ones have you can go with sand shoes, but you got to tell a danie thomas There's uh, i'm a big fan of of Of the ones that aren't as known, you know, I mean like because some have a lot of advocates like als or Well, you're wearing a clu. Yeah, these are the some of the big ones so I feel like some of the smaller ones at the civic level like green chimneys or mighty mutt or The public it's something that provides books Enough school books in certain public schools. Those type of things I would say I don't want to advocate for one thing You should go local smaller. I mean they all need to stuff But people tend to know about Some of the bigger ones that I am also a member of and a supporter of But I think that there's a It is wise for any of your listeners look Local at the at the civic level. What what are some of these? Woefully underserved, especially where you have republican governors and things like that who are cutting the grants Right, um and stuff like that But I would say anything I'm very partial to animal rights stuff and uh, and um children elderly middle-aged people can go fuck themselves myself included And so any any causes that affect middle-aged people. I feel like you know, you are deeply loved You are deeply respected and on behalf and you're hysterically funny and on behalf of all the people who are listening Thank you very much. Thank you, sir