 One of my favorite things about making YouTube videos is that I get to decide the videos that I'd like to watch and make them exist. Hi, welcome to I cut soap and show it to my dog while he's wearing a turtleneck. For those of you that aren't aware, first of all, Kermit doesn't really like that turtleneck, but he's putting up with me for right now. We found out that Kermit has a soap fetish, so I figured out which soap was his favorite, which is overwhelmingly Irish spring. And then I made him an entire bed at your suggestion out of Irish spring, which he hated. So we're gonna try and see if he likes the YouTube trend of soap cutting. Your hands are filthy. Someone suggested that I should just show him a bunch of ASMR soap cutting videos, but like, he's not gonna understand that. He's a dog, but thank you for your suggestion. So I decided to do the next best thing, which is cut soap for him in person. I don't know, you know in soap cutting videos where it's all like crisscross cutting stuff? Yeah, like perfectly cross hatchet. Yeah, I don't know how to do that. Oh, Kerm, I love when I cut soap and you cry. Such an us thing. You look so nice in your turtleneck. Why are you crying? Do you like it? You like the soap? He's not impressed. What do you think about some of this? Do you think he's enjoying this? No, I don't. Am I doing this right? I don't know, but this is oddly peaceful. Thank you. That's what I hope to make and put on the internet. Peaceful, wholesome content. Oh, don't say it like that. That's way way less peaceful. Peaceful and wholesome? Okay, Kermit, are you ready? I think you did the thing. Kermit, hello? I think he hates it. Mommy's cutting soap for you. Why don't you show some appreciation? Maybe if you wore some glasses, maybe you can't see that far. You're such my special dog. Do you know that? You're such a very special boy. I'll sit here and cut you Irish spring soap all you want. What do you wanna do with the little pieces? Do you wanna smell them? Maybe later in a little bit, I'll leave you alone with some of the soap so you can enjoy yourself. What do you think? No, for some reason, cutting soap isn't exactly relaxing when I do it. Not very, excuse you, peach leaf. Do you like the long strips of soap, Kermit? Or do you like just the little tiny squares? I have lots of bars of soap we could cut. We could do this for hours. You guys want me to upload a four hour video of me just sitting here cutting soap while my dog watches? Please, dog. That's what I'm uploading right now. So what's wrong with an extended version? Some people find this to be relaxing, you know. Stop that. We're relaxed. It's just relaxing family friendly content. No, no, no, no, no. Yes, it is. Look at my dog. He's wearing a turtleneck in glasses. It's lovely content. He seems to be indifferent about both the activity we're doing and his outfit. Would you like a little soap? He looks embarrassed every time he holds it up to his nose. No, he doesn't. Yeah, he does. He looks embarrassed. Can you stop using that voice because you're ruining the relaxing effect of... What voice? We do like little choppy ones. I don't really like cutting soap as much as I thought I would. It's actually kind of difficult. Well, that was rude. If you're done with your glasses, you can take them off your face and place them on the table. I don't know why you felt the need to throw them on the ground. What do you think? Mommy cut all of the soap for you. Do you like it? It is absolutely not for you. Teach. Do you like the soap? It's not food. No, it's absolutely not food. Do you want me to rub a little on your sweater? This is getting weird. What's weird about this? We're having family time. I'll rub a little on your shirt so that it smells like soap. Does that look cool, Kermit? He seems interested, but he's also like embarrassed. I don't know. He's not embarrassed. We've gotten over this like I'm ashamed of my fetish thing. Isn't that pretty? Oh, Kerm. Like, are you excited? Do you want me to put a piece of it on the floor for you? See, I wish that I could just show him soap cutting videos on YouTube so that I didn't have to do this for him, like, live in person, but his stupid eyes can't see an iPad. Now, there's lots of these on YouTube, Kermit, that are like much more entertaining and cool and relaxing and sound better than what I'm doing, but I'm trying my best. This doesn't sound or look relaxing at all. How do those people do it on YouTube so much better than me? They're professional at soap cutting. How do you get professional at soap cutting? I don't know. Do you like it, Kermit? Are you falling? Oh my gosh. Do you want me to put some soap on the ground for you, honey? Get your turtleneck off so you can be your true self. Oh, he's come alive. It's the turtleneck. It was, oh, peach. Why? I think you're trying to eat it. Oh, shit. You don't really want to be in the turtleneck. Peach, peach, no, peach, no. What's so soft? I want you to do this in his turtleneck. Cutting soap into small pieces makes his fetish like 10 times. He's excited about the soap. I'll do much for him. He's like fully a different dog right now. Five minutes ago. Ooh, soap, soap, soap. Kermit now, an intellectual. Kermit after dark. Don't eat it, don't eat it. Peach! Stop cleaning your mouth, you nasty. Kermit, come. She ate it. She ate a whole piece. Peach, that's toxic. You're toxic. You're toxic. You're a toxic dog. You're so toxic. You're gonna get banned. You're gonna get banned. She's a toxic dog. Peach, yeah. Peach, you're not allowed to eat the soap chips. He's cleansing his palate. Maybe she didn't eat it because there's a piece over here. Do you want to see what he does with his clothes when he finds them around the house? Stride it, so I can never find it again. I'm sorry, I'm not looking. Sorry, Kerm. I'm not looking. I didn't mean to embarrass you. You tell that turtleneck, say don't come back. Really? Don't come back. Are you raging a fight between the turtleneck and Kermit? It's gonna be on the undercard of the next Jake Paul and Logan Paul boxing fight, Kermit versus this turtleneck. Oh, damn. You tell him who's boss, Kermit. Tell him. Get him, Kermit. Yeah, good boy. Get that turtleneck. Get him, bud. That was that. Since you can't show your dog a video of something, like you gotta just do it for them in person, you know? So I cut my dog some soap and he thought it was just all right until it was on the ground. No, he's scared of a turtleneck. It's been a roller coaster, huh? What a day.