 Good evening and welcome again. My name is Jessica Colligan, and I'm happy to welcome you on behalf of Fairfield's Alumni Relations office. It's my pleasure to introduce you to this evening's speakers, Brendan Coffey and Father Jerry Blascheck. Brendan is a theology and English teacher at Fairfield Prep, and he's currently in the Regency stage of his Jesuit formation. Father Jerry is our Vice President for Mission and Identity, and tonight he'll be interviewing Brendan about his personal journey as a Jesuit. We just asked that you please keep your microphones muted during the presentation just to minimize distraction for our speakers and our other guests, and now I will turn things over to Father Jerry. Thank you, Jess. Did you notice that Jess identified Brendan as being in the Regency stage of our formation? She didn't quite pointedly didn't identify what stage I'm in. I think that would be pre-retirement, Jess, or pre-senility, but thank you for being so gracious. Those of you who have been following the series over the last couple of months know that this series is the brainchild of the Fairfield University Alumni Affairs Office. The Alumni Affairs folks, Jess, among them, the team, thought about the needs of how we could possibly, in this period of COVID, reach out and stay connected to our alumni and alumni, and what kinds of topics might be interesting to that group of alumni and alumni. And they came up with the notion that in this time of COVID, everyone is perhaps reaffirming or identifying their own interest in spirituality. What matters? What is ultimate? What gives direction to people's lives? Where do they find their hope? How do they structure their lives in such a way that they find purpose and meaning and happiness that's not just ephemeral? And so they came up with the genial idea of interviewing Jesuits, and it's been my privilege to be the interviewer for a few of my confers. Father Paul Roark, our director of campus ministry, and Father Michael Doody, whom many of you know who works in student affairs, and now it's my great privilege to interview Brendan. This time, since Brendan has been, and he's into his second year of working at Fairfield Prep, the invitation to participate in our series was extended to folks who were involved in the Murphy Center and to families who were involved at Fairfield Prep and Brendan's colleagues. I told Brendan that a number of his colleagues from Prep have seated very embarrassing questions to me, and Elliot Gueltieri is laughing at me as I have announced that. But Brendan, I promise you, I have to live with you and you'll be pushing my wheelchair in future years, so I keep those sorts of considerations in mind. So, let me stop babbling. The last time we were together, we met with Father Michael Doody, and you will remember those of you who know him, that I began by asking Michael how it was that he came to know the Jesuits, and of course it was right here on the Fairfield campus. Michael came as an undergraduate to Fairfield University, and now 50 years later, and 50 years and more, he's returned. Brendan, where was it that you first encountered the Jesuits? I know it was not as much as you love Fairfield, and you may, like Father Doody, be here after your 50th anniversary. You may spend the next 60 years of your life at Prep. That'd be a great thing, but I don't think you met the Jesuits at Fairfield. Where did you meet the Jesuits? I met the Jesuits in Philadelphia, so I am from Cherry Hill, New Jersey originally, and I was a public school kid, but my parents were insistent for myself and my siblings. They wanted us to go to a Catholic high school. That was an experience they had, and they wanted to share with us that same experience. To be honest, I didn't know what a Jesuit was. I didn't know there were flavors of Catholicism, as one of my friends has put it in the past. All I knew about this school was St. Joe's Prep in Philadelphia. We have a lot of St. Joe's Prep kids here at Fairfield U. I knew it was a good school, and yet, when I came in, I started to learn that there was something distinct about this place, and it was everything, right away learning about Jesuit history and spirituality from a freshman year theology teacher. But then it kind of took on a life of its own from there. Jerry, I think you're muted. Thanks, Brendan. When you look back at your high school years at St. Joe's Prep, what really stands out? What would you say was the gift of your high school years? I know you were involved with lots of extra curriculars, and at the same time, you were involved in service programs and in academics. What did you take away from St. Joe's Prep that still remains of lasting value for you? Yeah, well, you know, it was this love of the society, and I always say there were, I mean, right from the get-go. So the first thing that comes to mind was St. Joe's Prep is in North Philadelphia, which to this day is an economically depressed area. And I remember when I was in middle school, my dad taking me over and saying, you know, we're going to check out this place. The neighborhood is a little different from where we live. And, you know, if that's uncomfortable for you. The thing is what I realized when we got there was that was something the Jesuits wanted us to experience every day. And I was very lucky when I was a freshman, we were celebrating in 150 years, ourselves and St. Joe's University. And so we had this incredible experience. We had a visit from the Superior General in Rome. He's the head of Peter Hans Kovembach, who was the head of all of the Jesuits in the world. And I remember we were learning about him. In fact, I remember a history teacher saying we're getting a visit from the Black Pope, which was a name, a nickname for the sort of, some people thought the second most powerful Catholic in the world because he would dress like this. Thus the Black Pope. And I thought, who is this guy? He came, it was an arousing occasion, a really big deal, we were told. And the thing that stood out to me that he said there was he took us through the history of the school. The school had been in different places in Philadelphia since its birth in 1851. And then in the 1960s, there was a horrendous fire that consumed most of the school. And there was a decision at that point because the neighborhood had changed quite drastically. It had, it had grown largely into an economically depressed and because it was Philadelphia, a largely African American neighborhood. And it's not just surprising perhaps that in the 1960s there were a lot of calls by people to say, well, maybe we should leave this neighborhood. Maybe we should go someplace safer, which I think they meant out of the city. And we decided, no, the Jesuits said, no, this is exactly where we need to be. And this is exactly where we need to educate our students. And Colvin Bach commended us for that. And I just took that away as, oh, this is what these guys are about. It's not all for show that it was about what we call in the society, faith injustice, merging together and meeting together. That I would say was like the lasting effect. And it was all the other things to the, you know, the intellectual rigor and the pursuit of excellence and things, the sense of community, the brotherhood. But that's the thing that stood out to me most so much so that I knew when I was going to college, I wanted to go to a Jesuit university that was very much in my mind. Wow. And that's so it was this experience of demanding creative intellectual work, the brotherhood, as you say, community commitment to the city, and to the community, and to a faith that does justice. And so you decided to hop on the train and come up to Fordham. Yeah, I went to Fordham. I see a number of your fellow Rams who are also participating in today's event. And when you got to Rose Hill, what, what, how did you find that? Did you find that there was a real continuity? How did you find yourself growing? I mean, as we all know that there's as wonderful a secondary school is major changes take place with the new freedom, the new opportunities of being away from away from home and being on the campus. What did you find yourself jumping into when you got to to the university to to Fordham? I mean, first of all, I love New York, and I was embracing that. My, my family is from New York. So the idea of a Jesuit university in New York just seemed too good to be true. So I was embracing that. But I was also being challenged again. I would say like one of the first things that happened was, you know, I remember taking a philosophy class for the first time spring of my freshman. You know, the old the old fear dreaded core curriculum. Yeah, top you. Yeah. Same thing here too. And I'm sure we have guys who came in here and say the same. Oh, I have to take this core curriculum. Didn't I do this stuff in high school? And, and yet what did you take for your philosophy course? Well, it was, it was, I think we all had to take it was philosophy of human nature. Okay. And I was looking at if I had this fantastic grad student. I didn't have a full professor, and she was amazing. And she not only introduced us to sort of the greats, you know, reading the Socratic Dialogues or reading Descartes' meditations, but she was really into Kierkegaard. And I remember, thickness unto death. As an 18 year old. Yeah. And it just was like earth shattering to me. And it was again, it was the judgment to the pushing us into this, this new way of thinking. I mean, what a privilege that was to be able to take philosophy. I mean, so much so that I decided, I'm going to major in this, like there's some I remember my dad and mom were like, Oh, what are you going to do with that but it was, but they had trust and faith because they could see that this education was exciting something within me. And from there, you know, that kind of that shattered a lot of stuff. I remember when I was when I left St. Joe's Prep, I think I had in my mind, you know, business or law. And suddenly, I was thinking, No, maybe that's not it. You know, there was something about again the questions like the unquestioned life, right. Well, now I wanted to question it. It was that plus again experience. And so my good friend, Dr. Dan Fasaki, who taught here at the university, he's on this call today. We were roommates at Fordham. And he had done a service project in his freshman year to do a global outreach, global outreach. And again, our universities, I'm sure they have here at Fairfield, they have these incredible opportunities. And he said, you know, you should go on this. This would be a great opportunity. I think I was in my sophomore year slump. And I went on that experience. Well after kindergarten, anybody's entitled to be in. No, but I go. So I go and the way it works. This program is so great. It still continues to this day, because we didn't just like hop on a plane. We were meeting as a team were about a dozen of us and we're meeting as a team for months, and we were talking about the culture learning about the situation where we're going to be working at Habitat for Humanity site. And we were learning about each other, we were meditating after each meeting and praying together. And there was a Jesuit scholastic so guy kind of in my years a little bit, you know, before my stage now study philosophy there at Fordham, who was our chaperone he would be at those meetings. And then we go. And it was just an incredible experience and I tease I say like yeah it's a kind of cliche like the white privilege boy goes to Guatemala to find himself but you know for me here's what happened. First of all, I had an encounter with great community. I had an encounter with simple life. I had an encounter with faith that does justice again. What really happened was this experience of all of it coming together and I remember distinctly. It was like somewhere in the middle of the day, we're in this town, like on the border of all South Salvador. It was February or March, I think it was more like March but it was warm down here. And you know we are working all day. I've got sweat and dirt all over me and I climb into a van. And I still remember like clear as day one of my teammates just saying to me, Brendan you look so happy. And it's one of those moments that I mean it was like the voice of God knocking at me. It was startling and immediately I realized, father, they have, they've spoken such a true thing, and I had to do a lot of digging about well, why am I so happy here. And what is it about this experience. Where is it leading me. So, you know, there was again it was kind of this. What did you come up with Brendan hold on hold on what did you come up with what did you come up with what was making you so happy at that moment. I think it was again I mean these these combinations of simple living and and and working toward justice and doing it in a community and doing it in the context of faith. And I distinctly remember having a conversation I think I had missed Christmas, or excuse me Christmas I missed Easter break and my parents came up to visit me and see you're here you know how was this and they hadn't seen me. And I remember saying, you know, I think I'm going to make some changes I don't think I want to pursue law or business anymore. I think I want to live a very simple life. I think I want to be a teacher. It was pretty shocking. I remember trembling saying that, and I think my parents were like, what on earth is going on. But they could see a sense of something going on in me. And, and so you know there was something sparked in that moment, and from that experience. Brenda did you connect at all with the with choose a call, you know we are house of study for the young Jesuits. Interesting, that's where I live just before I came here in Fairfield I was living right across from Fordham's campus is a building that is stacked with 20 some young guys who are studying philosophy. I did meet those guys. I met a lot of them some of them like I had, I had, I took a class from one of them. One of them was on the service project others you would just get to know through stuff related with campus ministry or the Ignatian society. And one of the things I noticed about these guys was they are holy and they're intelligent so you know all that stuff I expected from a Jesuit, but they were young and normal. I like the older Jesuits you know I hadn't I hadn't experienced that before and you know it was much more relatable. Right. And, and not only that I mean these guys were funny. They were, they were incredibly entertaining you'd see them outside playing frisbee. You see them making jokes, but they were, they were attractive in the sense of like, I didn't, I don't know the thought enter my mind to be a Jesuit. I did but at the very least I was like, this is the kind of man I want to be you know there's something joyful and real about these guys. So that was part of the experience to for sure. In fact, one of those guys was was father Paul Rourke, who I had met at St. Joe's Prep he had done what's called a novice experiment his second year as a Jesuit at my high school and then he was at Chiswick Hall. He was the first one to welcome me to Chiswick Hall for dinner and mass and so you know imagine that a young Paul Rourke it was kind of like amazing to see these guys and they were they were filled with fervor and energy for their as Jesuits. And when I was at Ford and it was, it was very typical and in fact we were, we were pushed if we possibly could to do a junior year abroad. I went to Germany. But I think you would you went to Ireland right to go to Trinity. Yeah, I went to Dublin. Oh, it was amazing. I grew up. So both of my both sides of my family are thoroughly Irish, but we had been our families I should say have been in America for a long time. I felt like I did not have a relative I did not have a grandparent or even a great grandparent who came over from Ireland. But I had this joy of being Irish, and we would celebrate that in our house. And more than that I was almost there was almost like a mystical sense of it. And if that makes sense, you know, a sense of identity that I wanted to get in touch with. And the idea I mean when I was at Fordham and I found out we had a relationship with Trinity College Dublin that was like oh my God that's incredible I had never been to Europe before. I had rarely barely left the country. And, and so I got on a plane and I went over to Ireland for a year I studied philosophy in English, and it was incredible. And did you discover. What did you discover about about being Irish. And so I mean I went back there for graduate school so I spent two years at Trinity and I did a graduate degree in an Irish literature so I was really studying characters right up front and I was I was seeing characters that reminded me of family members, sometimes good sometimes not so good. And, and just a sense. What I found over there was a people who, I mean, Ireland was going through a tough time economically, and also with the abuse crisis in the church. And I wrote about that in my master's thesis I wrote about the sort of post Catholic, and I looked at Irish drama in particular but what fascinated with me was, this was a nation just saturated with spirituality with with an interesting kind of Celtic Catholicism that just seeped into everything. And if you read Joyce, you know, who kind of fights with the Catholic Church, but you can't read him without seeing that he is so thoroughly Catholic in his imagination. And that's what I found over there and I realized you know there's something deep in the soul of an Irish person that is kind of seeking that that great spiritual depth, and I was I was so intrigued by that and I found it a beautiful thing. It's kind of moved by it that this was part of my identity to discover this this the spiritual depth that's almost intrinsic to being. And I was like I made great friends over there and I couldn't escape the Jesuits, a Jesuit who was doing his worship so sort of an experienced poster nation, picked me up from the airport. He was at Fordham when I was there and so he kind of settled me in. And my closest friends. I wish they were the Irish, but we're Americans from Holy Cross. So even over there, it was it was it was like this chance to maybe try and get someplace new and the Jesuits were like no we're gonna still take a hold of the over there. And it was great and what was also wonderful is those those folks from Holy Cross were almost by and large all women. And this was a great encounter for me had having gone on all boys high school and I quite having experience with having great female friends I was able to meet wonderful women who were challenging to me. And who befriended me and who who were just, you know, like great sisters. It was wonderful. It was a great experience. I'm still good friends with some of those folks today. And Brendan you said that when you first got to Fordham it didn't take long before you realize that neither law nor business we're going to be your career paths for the future. Yeah. And clearly you had a great experience at Saint Joe prep and at and Fordham and now at Trinity. How did you identify. How did you come to the conclusion that when you were graduated, and after you finished your masters that you were going to go back to second that you're going to go to secondary school teaching. You know, teaching was something I had done in some summers between kind of in college especially in fact I did a summer here. We didn't talk about this I did a summer here at Fairfield University teaching with Brooklyn Jesuit prep. I did some summers like that it's at St. Joe's prep teaching for sort of a middle school. And there was just something about it that attracted me and again it's not that business and law or bad careers. I think I just was into them because it seems, you know, a good place to make money and get prestige. And that's not a good reason to do either of those things. What was different about teaching when I had some limited experiences was I felt alive. Yeah, I did. And so I had this experience, my high school, like a lot of Jesuit high schools has this program called the Alumni Service Corps, and I was able to go back for a year. And I taught English I worked in campus ministry I did a lot of retreats I did service projects with the kids. And it was a wonderful experience and a very confirming one for me so that I did go back to Trinity in Dublin for a year to get basically a credential so that I could really teach full time. I noticed by the way viewers when Brendan said, I became alive you could see him become alive, even on the screen. And I got to tell you that that's that's verified every day when Brendan comes home from school. And I'll see him back in our community. All you have to do is say how was your day Brendan, and no matter how tired or worn out or no matter how stressed he may have been. He's alive and you know, and you know that this is a place where he is flourishing and fully alive look at him. So, part of why it's such a joy, you know to live with Brendan, he takes such immense gratification and delight in the lives of his students. Brendan, I'm not supposed to be telling stories on you but Brendan, when you were, when was it when you were helping your students get their college essays together, and you were taking time working with each one of them. And for all of us in the community. It was it was so gratifying and delightful to watch Brendan talk about these students, you know with such delight, you know with such unguarded delight in the lives of these young people. So Brendan, after after you came back from Trinity, then you determined you were going to do secondary school teaching, and you ended up in San Diego how'd that happen. It was crazy. I think I started looking into teaching at, you know, Jesuit high schools. But we have a pretty high standard, which is great and I think I was a little too green. So I put my application into a couple places and it didn't bite. And I was, you know, it was one of these like they were like, you know, listservs of places that were open and some of them are Jesuit schools some of them Catholic schools. So I was living in Dublin, and I found an Augustinian school I knew the Augustinians growing up outside of Philly, Villanova, a lot of my cousins went to one of my rival high schools Malvern Prep. And, and they had a high school in San Diego and I thought this is crazy. I still remember I can hear one of my really good friends and other Brendan, who went to Georgetown another friend from grad school. And he said, Well, you're crazy man. You're 25. Or I don't think I was 25. I think I was like 23. He's like you're 23. And it's a city on a beach. Just put your application in and see what happens. So I did. And I had two wonderful years. I lived on the beach. And I, it was an all boys Catholic school, which I loved. I would have been happy there. It was a little too far from home for me. So I wound up coming East. Yes. And then you ended up at Regis. Yeah. Which that was, I mean, seriously, so, you know, I go from, you know, right out of grad school, no one's quite giving me a look because I'm a little too new. And, you know, they clearly wanted me to get a couple of years of experience. And then I put my application in one of the most premier high schools in America. And I thought there's not a chance. And, you know, I'm going to get this. And there were a couple of other openings and other places on the East Coast. So I thought, all right, you know, maybe I'll have better luck. And they hired me at Regis. Regis, for those who don't know, is a Jesuit high school for boys in New York City. And it's entirely free. It's entirely tuition free. Which is what Ignatius always envisioned Jesuits should all be. And entirely through the generosity of one woman who founded the school 100 years ago, Julia Grant. It was her vision to give an opportunity. There were other, you know, great Jesuit schools, the Loyola School, Ford and Pratt, Xavier, down in Lower Manhattan. And they were, they were available, but she wanted an education for immigrant Catholic men, young men, who would never have been able to afford such an education. And that's how Regis got started. So it was amazing to be there. And it's, it's quite a place. What was it? I mean, what, what, what shines out from your Regis experience? You had already taught, you know, in bits and pieces and various programs and you had been teaching in San Diego. Was there anything specific about Regis that was different? Well, I was back in the Jesuit world. And even though I took a lot from the Augustinians, I really, I think what I gained from the Augustinian experience was they had a wonderful sense of community. And it was really quite beautiful. And I thought they did that really well. What I got when I came back into the Jesuit world and now I was teaching full time was and I was teaching as an English teacher. And I was a part of this unbelievable department. It was, it was extraordinary. I mean, I call it my like second masters because I worked so hard, because there was this standard of great excellence in teaching and learning. And I knew I had been the recipient of that and high school. And now it was, wow, this is what it looks like on the other side of the desk and I worked real hard, which was great. You know, it was, it was, it was tough too. And the standards were pretty high and I was with some some guys in my department who had been there for a few years, and who were kind of at the top of their game but they were so generous with me sharing ideas or giving me thoughts about things that might work or could work. And they were not to the students there to they were they because they were going there for free. They didn't take that education for granted at all. They had a deep sense of gratitude they would think every day they would thank you on their way out of class. Thanks for that. Wow. So, that was pretty neat place to be. Wow. So, at this time, Brendan, I presume that you make the decision that as much as you love teaching or not, despite the fact that you love teaching, what intervened to introduce you into doing something which not a lot of 28 29 30 year olds are doing. No, it possesses me. All right, at age what were you, you know, yeah, as somebody said recently, nobody does this anymore. People had to be saying that to you. Oh, absolutely. I remember something happened, you know, saying like a Jesuit scholastic saying to me, this is crazy. So let's start it this way. You know, I had kind of in my mind made it here. You know, it was kind of a little bit of a joke. Here I was aiming for a simple life of service. And I'm living on the Upper West Side. Premier Jesuit High School. So it's a little bit of, but you know, it was it was an exciting place to be. I love where I was living. I was surrounded by great friends. I was closer to my family. And yet there was something missing. There was something missing. And because it was it was like, wait a second. This is what my society tells me I need to be happy. I have everything I was, you know, everything I was supposed to be happy with I had. And yet there was something missing. And, you know, I thought about that in lots of different ways. But again, I saw what happened was I think I'm in my second year at Regis. And I find out from a Jesuit, Jim Krogan, who, who was kind of the Ignatian identity guy there, that, that I could go on a retreat and Regis would pay for it. And, and I'm talking about an Ignatian eight day silent retreat. And again, my friend Dan, who's on here, he's the one who says, well, you should go to Weston, which is up in outside of Boston. It's this incredible huge structure. And there was a great spiritual master. It's got Bill Barry up there. Now it's funny. I go up there and I don't have bill there. I have another Jesuit by the name of Steven Sanford as a director. And I'll tell you, I mean, I'm dead serious. I walked in there. And who's on retreat with me, like some elder nuns, a couple of priests. And I'm like, what am I doing here? This is crazy. I think I'm thinking nobody does this anymore. I'm thinking this is it like I'm finally losing it. And I said as much I like remember going outside and on this long walk and I'm thinking maybe maybe I'm in the wrong spot. And I go to my director the next day and I said, you know what, I don't think I'm supposed to be here. And he says, you are absolutely supposed to be here. God brought you here, settle in. And I just was like, okay, well, I did. And, you know, I've talked about this a little bit. It's a hard thing to talk about except to say it was an amazing experience. It was an extraordinary experience. When you were on a silent retreat, for one, there are no distractions. I was not even allowed to read anything. And you can't hide anymore. And in the silence, when you're encountering God, it's all raw. And here's one way I would just talk about it. So I had been in a Jesuit high school I had been in a Jesuit university I had taught in one Jesuit high school now I'm teaching in a second Jesuit high school. And I remember going to my spiritual director in the middle of that week and I said, you know, I know this stuff. You know, I love the society I thought I understood the lingo and the spirituality and the history. And I knew nothing. And the World Cup was going on at that point. And he so he had this like great analogy like ready to go. He said, you know, it's a little bit like knowing the rules of soccer, and then playing the game. And I was finally starting to play the game. And it was life changing. It was it was a life changing experience. Wow. So when you went back to read just then it was with an opening to see where God, who had become so real to you, my next. It was, it was, um, you know, a knob so my novice director, you know, when I entered the society, he would have put it this way he was like you know when when when something is good, take another step toward the good. And so I didn't leave that retreat saying, oh, I'm supposed to be a judge of it. That's not that's not how I left it. I left it with my spiritual director on the retreat saying, you know, you should start spiritual direction when you go back to New York. So I did. I was my spiritual director, former headmaster and president at Fairfield prep. And it's after a few times of meeting he says you know, I'm not pushing anything but you keep talking about a vocation, and it was something that was percolating. And now it wasn't suddenly so crazy anymore and it was like, why does this keep coming up. Why does this keep coming up. And even my parents are members said, you know what's up with you you seem so happy and alive. You weren't before but we noticed you were, you know, kind of trying to find yourself. What's going on now. And I say it was like it was as though I was in love. It was like the beginning of something new. And the more I entered into the possibility of joining the society. The more I was excited by it. And it's a crazy application process. I mean no one would go through this insane application process. I mean, the one seven hour interview the five other interviews you have to do the psychological review the doctors visits the dentist the eye doctor, like writing a 20 page autobiography the background checks which went even over to Ireland like insane amounts of information you have to give I mean it's like nothing I've ever been through before. But each step of the way as I'm applying. I'm thinking, Wow, yeah, I'm getting more and more excited about this. Yeah, it was it was a wonderful gift to me. And I mean alive in the classroom and the kids knew something was up I wasn't telling them what was going on. It was later on they were like, you know, we knew something was up just didn't know what it was. They were kind of right. I told them they picked up this enthusiasm this buoyancy. Brendan, I want to make sure since so many people know you from your time here at Fairfield prep. I'm going to bracket for a minute. Your judge your early Jesuit formation we can go back to it if we have time, but I wonder whether you can say a little bit about what it's been like for you to be here at Fairfield prep as you say, you had taught at St. Diego's you taught in San Diego with the Augustinians, you taught at Regis. But clearly, you're being here at Fairfield prep is incredibly again, life giving and joy inspiring for you what what's what's this been about for you. It's like the dream come true, you know, because it's it's the thing that I loved when I was Regis except now the missing part isn't missing. And I had some Jesuits who said, Well, why don't why do you want to do a region stay at a high school do something else you've already done that and I said I haven't done it as a Jesuit. And that's where my prayer was pulling me in into this direction of coming. And when I heard about Fairfield prep I thought, Wow, this could be great. But what I knew about it just seemed like a really good fit. And I've fallen in love with the place, as people know I mean I know you guys get sick of me talking about it because it's a special place. And I love it. By the way, if you want, if you have in mind, if, as you listen to Brendan, or as you've thought back over what he said if you have some questions just if you're there, you can send them to Jess okay. Yep, I'm here. Okay, so send them to Jess, and hopefully we'll have some time before we're finished so that Brendan will have a chance to address your questions. And it's a very special place so what in the world is so special about Fairfield prep. So I mean the kids are the best, and the sense of brotherhood and they are they're wonderful. They so enjoy being together. This year during the pandemic right we're doing a hybrid experience, you know we have half the kids in the school and half are zooming in at home. And they're wearing masks and we're socially distancing which is which is what we should be doing to keep everybody safe. And I have to say my favorite part of the year. So far was being a cross country coach, because after school, the kids would come outside, and they'd be out and they'd be ready to go and they'd be joking with one another and when they're running they didn't wear mask because that you know they were distanced enough and they're running outside. And it was like, ah, this is what it's about, you know it's so normal. They just wanted to be with each other so much and they you see them smile in and come into life even the parents said you know like oh thank God for this, you know thank you for coaching to myself and the other coaches because our kid comes to life. So that the kids are great. The other thing that I love about it though and maybe the thing I love about it the most is, I love being a Jesuit and I love our mission and what we're about. It's all the stuff that I talked about the intellectual rigor, the faith that does justice, the sense of excellence, the sense of community, the sense of simplicity, and what we're about. And I'm in a school where there is such a fervor for that mission, and it's not a superficial fervor. I live, I work with incredible colleagues, and we have this incredible leadership team, which for the first time in schools history is all lay, but they understand and have bought into our mission so thoroughly. And for me that is incredibly exciting to see and I've been sent to to Fairfield prep not to to form but to be formed, and it has been an incredibly formative experience and an incredibly hopeful one that the work that has been happening at all of our institutions including here at Fairfield you has been about this future when there will be less of us and that's just the reality, but the glass half full is there is so much more engagement from our late colleagues and faculty and and that's been amazing to see and to be a part of. Brendan I didn't I didn't ask you about this when we were talking and preparing a little bit but what have been the challenges for you. And I don't you know I'm not asking you to entrust us with more than we have the right to hear. Or that you want to share with us, but in this society, where, by and large what you're doing is regarded as pretty crazy. And in a society that is aging by by far Brendan you're the youngest person in our community and honest to God I don't know how you put up with this so much as wonderfully as you do. What are the challenges that you faced. And where do you think these have been a growing growing points for you. Yeah, you know, it like life and community is tough and that's not just true because of the older population of our community. That's true in any community life and community is hard. And I imagine it's probably the same as being married even to somebody that you love I mean it's. It's tough to exist in that. I think it's an incredible opportunity though I mean I think living in community kind of holds a mirror up to yourself and to your limitations. And, and it's been a great, I mean that's been the great growing at I mean especially now I mean we laugh a little bit about it but we're like kind of in lockdown mode is Jesuit because we live with a vulnerable population. So I have some friends who I know get together and I would love to see me. I can't quite do that, and I'm not going to make that. You know, I'm willing to make that sacrifice for our community. It's an important thing to do for each other, but it's, it's not easy. But there are great graces, you know Ignatius was so wise that, you know really does come down to the experiences. You're not paying attention to the ways in which God is operating in those experiences. You're missing out on a lot. And that's hard to do. It takes a lot of humility and patience, but it's, it's filled with gold, if you, if you dig up what's going on, just even from a day to day experience. Thank you very much. Just, just do we have some questions from folks. Otherwise, there are a couple of other things that I would be happy to ask Brendan to speak about but have people registered some questions that they'd like to hear. One question from Harry Rosetto he's one of our alumni, and he'd like to know is teaching now that you are Jesuit different than it was at Regis. So that is a great question because I haven't been asked that and it does feel that way you know in some cases, you know the nuts and bolts are the same, but I notice the kids look at me differently than before. And it's cool right now I'm teaching mainly theology I do have an English class but I mainly teaching theology, which I wasn't thrilled about at first to be honest and then I found like I love it because I was I just studied theology before I came here. And I found out wow I really enjoy doing this. And there is something cool about the fact that when I'm talking about this. I've made this choice with my life. And so it comes with a little bit of authenticity and integrity, I guess, and not that my late colleagues in the department don't have that too. I have incredible colleagues in the theology department and I think they also come at it, but there is something. I think they're aware there there's there's a part of a link. That way I'm a part of a link. And, and that is an incredible responsibility. It's, it's also an incredible honor and opportunity to show them. What does it mean to commit to a life like this, or any life as I say, you know, I tell them all the time like any, any choices they may have they have crazy questions for me as a job everyone then they come out the crazy questions about so what did you do with your life. Why are you doing this. And, but what an opportunity and again an opportunity to talk about what is commitment about and relationship and responsibility. And how does God fit into all this. And I get to have those questions because I wear this. So that's kind of neat. Can you talk a little bit about what your what are your next steps before you are ordained. The saddest thing of all is I have to leave Fairfield Prep at some point. We are petitioning to get Brendan ordained at the end of the year, so he can just stay he knows enough theology. So I don't not yet. I have I have like three more years of theology after this judgment formation is a crazy long experience. And some people are like, Why does it take I think it's brilliant. I think Ignatius was brilliant. You know, and he did this. This is how it's been for 500 years when life expectancy was not quite what it was now. And he, I think he, you know, we become Jesuits after two years of being in the novitiate. And, and then we, and then we, we become Jesuits and we start our studies and smack in the middle we get this experience. And so, yeah, I have three more years of theology. I don't know where that will be yet. Lots of stuff on the on the horizons. But I'll be ordained to deacon about nine months advance of being ordained a priest. God willing. And that's really exciting. I'll be honest. I think originally came in wanted to be a Jesuit and the priest thing was sort of like, Okay, well, let's see. I'm just so excited to be a priest. I'm just so excited for it. And I can see already again like these opportunities I have with students and colleagues. It's like, I wish I wish I had this. That's a good sign. So, Brendan, one of the questions that's just come in is one of our participants is asking, Have you had and will you have the opportunity to have experience of diverse kinds of ministry. And maybe say a little bit more about the experiments and what you would anticipate. Oh, fantastic. Absolutely. Yeah, especially in our novitiate and and Father Jerry knows as well as he was a novice director for many years up at Syracuse where I was in a novice. And those were incredible years when you enter, you know, it is like, Oh, here it is. Like I did this. This is kind of nuts. I did it with seven other guys and there were already 10 guys living there in their second year. One of them I'm a structure. Some of the things I did that I thought would never I would never do in the years I worked, not once but twice in the hospital, which I was a guy who hated hospitals, even though I'm a mom who was just so recently an ICU nurse. One of those we worked in Calvary Hospital in the Bronx as orderlies with terminally ill patients. So I did not dress like that dressed and scrubs. And for six weeks every day for a full day went in. Tending to people's wounds cleaning them wrapping up dead bodies. Incredible experience. I didn't just work in schools like this that might my last five months almost as a Jesuit, I worked at a crystal race school in in Baltimore, which was an incredibly different experience and very challenging, also deeply enriching. I mean, those are, you know, I worked at a place called the spiritual Newell Center, which worked with adults was kind of a Murphy Center for Syracuse. And I did like Bible study with some of the adults there. I led some retreats. So I mean, I was fortunate enough to get different experiences along the way. And that's been enriching. And also, you know, learning Spanish that's been a big part of it too. So I've spent time in San Antonio for a few weeks I was in Mexico for a couple of months over one summer. A couple summers ago, I was in Berkeley, California learning about spiritual direction at our school theology out there. That's been one of the neatest things is, you know, I have friends and family who are like, God, we want your life. You get to go to these amazing places have these incredible experiences. You know, when Brendan is talking about the novitiate and the experiences. Going back to the 16th century, one of the things that made the Jesuits suspicious in the eyes of our critics, and made us quite different from anything that had come before. As a form of religious life saying Ignatius that the old monastic orders felt that the way you formed somebody was put them in a monastery. Let them live with the rhythm of prayer. And that and the law and the rule of the monastery will make the monk Ignatius said what will make a Jesuit is experiences. And Ignatius looked at the experiences that he himself and others had found transformative and Ignatius said okay, if somebody wants to be one of our number, the way that will validate the way will test to see whether they have that grace, and the way they formed them at the same time is to have them really nearly replicate the key experiences that made the first generation of Jesuits and one of those that Brendan mentioned was was working as orderlies doing the simple ordinary work of caring for the sick and the dying Ignatius believed that was transformative and I think that always has been it's always been a part of Jesuit formation. And then, you know, later on after Brendan's ordained he'll do what we call the church and ship, which is yet another experience of the 30 day retreat and all different kinds of other pastoral experiences that he hasn't had up till now. So that's also waiting for Brendan before he takes his final vows. So even though you know we love Brendan, and we'd love to have him at Fairfield Prep. Speaking as an old novice master, if anyone came into the society and said I've joined the order in order to be a high school teacher I'd say, maybe. You know, but if you have, if you have your heart set on that and can't imagine yourself doing anything else, we're probably not the group for you. That's right. You know, because the principle of Jesuit life is availability. If there's an Ignatius code at this point believe that are you disposable are you available to go where there's the greatest need. As it's discerned by the religious community whom you believe God's providence has made you a part of. Yeah, but they're here to listen to you not to me Brendan. Any more questions. John wants to know if you run with your kids during the cross country season. I do. Not all the time. But I do, especially early on to make sure they don't get lost. That's important. I didn't bring that up either. But it's, no, I love it. And I I use it as an opportunity because there were some kids that I had had, you know, in class, you know, and then they were running with us this year and I'm like huffing and puffing and, you know, and they're behind me and I'm like, I am twice your age and a male religious. Come on, you should be ahead of me at this point, you know, so it's a little way to get them to put in a little more effort, but no, it's a great joy. Doing that kind of stuff with the guys. Any more questions. No, I think that's it. All right. I'm going to maybe one last question from me. When you look at the lives of our of your students, what do you hope for for them, Brendan? What's what are you long for for them? Great. It's a great question because I, you know, I think I told you this one of the things I reflect on recent I was reflecting recently like the things that I want to teach them the most I can't. I want, I think what I want is that the same experience I had, I want them to come alive to themselves. Whatever that means for them, right, because we're all we're all sort of given a mission by God, I believe, and it's our it's it's our work sometimes our lives work to figure out what that mission is. Once we come to understand that we come to understand who we are. And, and I think that's something that we do really well. I think that's what our education is about. It's always experiential, right. It's about giving, giving people experiences that will unleash that will free them of the mission that they've been given and thus give them the sense of identity. I believe the fulfillment of their lives and the flourishing of their existence and their being. I want everybody to have that experience. I think I told you this the other day when I came back from my spiritual exercise my 30 day silent retreat as an obvious in my first year and I got on the phone with my mom after 30 days silence how was it. And I just told her I said, I wish everybody could experience what I just experienced that kind of encounter with God, however we find it however we uncover it. That's what it's all about. Brendan you are a joy and an inspiration. Thank you very much. Thank you guys. Thank you both so much and thank you to everyone that tuned in and we wish you all a wonderful and healthy Christmas season.