 J-E-S-L-L-O! The Jell-O program brought to you by Jell-O and Jell-O Pudding, starring Jack Fennie, with Mary Livingston, Phil Harris, Dennis Dandier, and truly Don Wilson. The orchestra opens the program with a romantic guy eye. Folks have been showering compliments on Jell-O for years, but today the show has become a downpour. Everywhere you go, you hear people praising the new Jell-O and its wonderful new locked-in flavor. They say it's richer, more delicious than they've ever believed any dessert could be, and they're right. Because today's Jell-O is different, made better than ever. Up until now, Jell-Oton desserts constantly faded in flavor while waiting to be used. But Jell-O's marvelous process locks all of Jell-O's full, rich goodness right into the little Jell-O particles. And time can't steal it away. Your first package will prove it. Open it. Notice that there's no heavy fruity aroma, no sign of escaping flavor, but the instant you dissolve the Jell-O, you unlock its vivid, thrilling flavor and out it pours for your pleasure. So order Jell-O J-E-L-L-O tomorrow. Look for the big red letters on the box, and be sure to get Jell-O. The flavor never goes away. We put it in and it's there to stay, played by the orchestra. And now, ladies and gentlemen, this evening we would like to re-enact for you the events which occurred on our recent trip from New York to Hollywood. As you all know, we did our last show from New York City, and the following day, the whole Jell-O gang left for the coast. Jack had to check out of his hotel, the Swank Hampshire House on Central Park South, so he said he might be just a little late getting to the station. This way, Rochester, I got to stop at the desk for my bill. I'm moving as fast as I can, boss, this stuff's heavy. What do you mean, heavy? Those two suitcases are half empty. Yeah, but this trunk on my back is loaded. Oh, stop complaining. That trunk isn't so heavy. I wasn't bold-headed when I picked it up. All right, set it down while I see what I owe here. OK. Easy now. Let's see, I've been at this hotel three weeks. Gee, it's such a ritzy place, I'll bet my bill is terrific. Well, might as well ask for it. Just get your teeth, boss. I can take it. Oh, yes, Mr. Benny. I'm checking out of 22D, and I'd like to have my statement, please. Oh, yes. Why, Mr. Benny, you didn't shave this morning. I didn't have to shave. I don't live here anymore. Now, please give me my bill. Just a moment, please. I'll get it from the cashier. Thanks. Oh, hello, Mary. Hello, Jack. I thought you were going to meet me out in front. I'm waiting to pay my bill. Oh, I'd better get you a slug of brandy. Come back here. I don't need any brandy. Good morning, Ms. Libsden. Morning, Rochester. Gee whiz, Jack, if you still got that old trunk, why don't you buy a new one? Mary, I keep that trunk for sentimental reasons. My father gave it to me on my 16th birthday. Well, at that, it held together better than you did. No, I don't know about that, sister. Well, what do you say, clerk, is my bill ready? Here it is, Mr. Benny. And please, don't cause a scene. Don't worry. I'm just going to go over it. Now, let's see. Room 1250 a day for 21 days. That's Rochester. Where's my adding machine? Where is it? I couldn't find it, boss. You must have left it at the store club. Oh, yes. Say, Jack. What? You can't always trust those adding machines. Why don't you take Einstein around with you? I don't even know Einstein. Say, clerk, my room is 1250 a day, eh? Yes, and stop dusting off my lapel. No, pardon me. Well, what I'm getting at is don't you give professional rates here? After all, I'm an actor, you know, like Ronald Coleman or Spencer Tracy. Or Harry Lauder. Mary. I'm sorry, Mr. Benny, but 1250 is minimum on that room. All right, all right. Let's see. Restaurant, 3450. Laundry, 28 cents. Newstand. Hey, wait a minute. What's this item here? Newstand, $15. That was the day you got that good write-up in PM. Oh, yes. Now, let's see. Oh, look what time it is, Jack. I word is write-up. It would have helped the gag a little bit. What? Let's see, huh? Look what time it is. Say your bill. Let's get going. Now, I'm not too checking up. Hey, what's this? $68 for phone calls to Birmingham, Alabama. I never called Birmingham. They're waiting for us at the station, boys. Why? Well, I don't even know anybody in Birmingham. True truth. We don't miss that train. $68. What is this? Come on, let's go. Let's go. Wait, I find out about these phone chargers. Now, don't worry, Mr. Betty. We'll investigate them. And if we're in error, there'll be a refund. There better be. Now tell you something else. The prices here are something awful, aren't they, Mary? Yeah. Are you going to let them get away with that $0.28 for laundry? Well, that was a dress shirt. Rochester can't do cleats. All right, clerk. Here's your money. Thank you. I got it, Mr. Hathaway. All right, you got it. I can't figure it out. $68 for telephone calls to Birmingham, Alabama. Let's go! Let's go! Yeah, we better get started. Come on, Mary. Let's grab a cab. I'm not going to get in a cab with you. You always want a neck. Not in the morning. Come on, let's get out of here. Well, goodbye, clerk. Goodbye, jerk. Fine. I've been in this hotel three weeks. You can't even pronounce my name right. 20th century limited for Chicago. Now ready on track 20. I mean, track 20. Oh! My goodness, I hope Jack doesn't miss the train. He's got all the tickets. Want some of my potato chips, Mrs. Wilson? No, thanks. Well, personally, Don, I think Mr. Benny is in a very bad job of managing this trip. No, Peggy. The idea of putting you and me in one burst, that sabotage. Want some of my potato chips, Mr. Wilson? No, thanks. Well, Dennis, are you glad to be going back to California? Yeah, but I got to sleep with Mr. Benny, and he snores. Mr. Benny, and he snores like anything. Oh, it's awful. Well, why don't you put a pillow over his face? I did. He snored a hole right through it. Gosh, I was spitting feathers all night. Well, here we are. Oh, hello, Jack. Mary. Hello, everybody. Hello, Don. Well, Mrs. Wilson, are you thrilled that you're going home? I'll be thrilled if I make it. Good, good. By the way, Mrs. Wilson, you notice I got you and Don a lower burst. On the trip back. Hooray. I thought you'd be more comfortable that way. You see, a lower is wider than an upper. Well, Don is wider than a lower. What are you going to do about that? Now, Mary, as long as Don and Mrs. Wilson are happy, that's all it comes. I'm so happy I could punch her right in the nose. What? Now, Peggy, dear Peggy, darling, control yourself. Oh, let it alone, Don. She has a wonderful sense of humor. If she ever hit me, I'd fire Wilson so fast it would make her head swim. Well, where's the rest of the gang? Where's Phil? Phil and Alice are on the train. She was just mobbed by autograph hunters. Oh. Oh, she was. Well, I can sympathize with her. I go through that all the time. Autographs, autographs. I'm sorry. I forgot today, Mr. Benny. That's all right, kid. Well, I'll be done. Here comes Jack Benny. Not now, Dennis. We've got to catch a train. But be on your toes when we get to Kansas City. I'll show Miss Faye something about autograph. Last call, 20th century limited for Chicago. Now ready on track 20. I mean track 20. Oh, I'm not. I'm going home. Well, let's get on the train. Hey, wait a minute. Where's Miss Whippo? Oh, come on. Let's go without her. We can't go without her. She's sharing your birth. She paid in advance and she's coming along. Oh, Miss Whippo. Miss Whippo. Come on, Jack. We'll be late. Miss Whippo. Here I am, Mr. Benny. Well. Gee, for she's wider than Wilson. Mary, it's only for three days. Come on, come on, everybody. On the train, on the train. Now, Mary, don't blame me for this. In the picture she sent me, she looked very thin. Just think, Mary. Here we are only two days out of New York and we're in New Mexico. Want an orange, Mary? What, again? No thanks. Gee, look at those mountains. Hello, Mary. That's where I'd like to live. Right in those mountains. Close to nature. Yeah. Away from all the hustle and bustle of the city. That's the life for me, Mary. Yeah. The simple life. Gee, I'd live on beans. Beans and deer meat. Probably shoot the deer myself. And then someday, someday, Mary, I'd be hiking through those mountains and I'd discover a gold mine. I knew you weren't living on those beans for nothing. Now, there's no use talking to you. Look at the scenery, Dennis. Isn't it gorgeous? Oh, it's beautiful. Dennis, will you please stop yawning? Well, the way you snore, Mr. Benny, I haven't slept for two nights. Dennis, what if I do snore? Sleep isn't so important. Thomas Edison never slept more than five hours a night. Yeah, but he was inventing something. I just got a lay there and listened. Well, invent something. Who's stopping you? What a kid. Hello, Phil. Hiya, Jackson. Ain't this scenery beautiful? Look at the mountains. Yeah, we were just talking about them. You know, that's where I'd like to live, Jackson. Close to nature. Why I'd live on them beans and that deer meat and then go hiking all the time. When you get to that gold mine, you're gonna have a little trouble with Jack. Mary, we can dream, can't we? Say, Phil, where's Alice? She's in the dining car, autographing pictures. Hmm. I'll tell you, Jackson, that gal is more popular than I am. Wow. That's sweet of you to admit it. Signing pictures, eh? You know, Mary, on my last trip to the coast, I handed out over 350 autographed pictures. Yeah, but you had to give away dishes with them. All right, a little cup and saucer. What is it about? So inexpensive. Well, Phil, wake up, Dennis. Well, Phil, by this time tomorrow we'll be in sunny California. Are you glad? Yes, sir. I've had my vacation. The next Monday I'll be back in night school improving myself. Oh, you signed up again, eh? Yeah, I'm taking on new subjects this year, Jackson. Geometry and chemistry and etiquette. Etiquette? You know, no peas on the knife and always give your seat to a broad. I'd give $1,000 if Emily Post was here. Or were here. Which is correct, Mary, was or were? I'll go shoot a deer. Well, Phil, etiquette is one subject you can use. Yeah, etiquette. Dennis, pull yourself together. All you do is yawn, yawn, yawn. And sit up straight, people will think you're drunk. Say, Jack. What? Look at this picture in radio guide. Fred Allen in a bathing suit. Fred Allen? Let's see that. Oh, my goodness, get a load of those legs. They look like shalales with hair. No. No kidding. Well, at that, Jackson, he don't look no worse than you do. What are you talking about? Look at me when I straighten up. Look, I got a very good figure. Well, you should have. You're still wearing that corset from Charlie Fance. Well, Xanik said I could keep it. Anyway, I don't even need it. You know, Jackson, I'm getting hungry. Me too. Dennis, peel me an orange. I can't. I'm too weak. All right, I'll do it myself. You want a nice, sweet, juicy California orange, Mary? Don't build them up. I want meat. Okay, let's go up the diner. Say, Phil, have you seen Don? Yeah, he's up in the other car ahead with Peggy. All right, come on, Mary. See you later, fellas. You know, Mary, I could kick myself for not bringing any pictures with me. Maybe I can... whoops. Oh, hello, little boy. Hello. Say, Mr. Are you Jack Benny? Yep, that's me. Gee whiz. You know, Mr. Benny, I listen to your program all the time. Wow. Isn't he a cute little rascal, Mary? Yeah. Well, Sonny, what did you think of our first two broadcasts? Don't worry, you'll get rolling. Hmm. Come on, Mary. What's the matter? Fatal top you? No, I'm not a fatal top me. Just believe the children should be seen and not heard, that's all. There's Don at the end of the car. I'm hungry, darling. Let's go on the diner and get something to eat. No, Don, not until tomorrow. But I'm starved. You're not eating until we get home. Our birth is crowded enough the way it is. Well, there you are. More Jack. Jack, I've been working on my commercial for Sunday show. Now, how does this strike you? Ladies and gentlemen. That's fine, Don. And don't forget to mention the new locked-in flavor. By the way, Don, have you seen Rochester? Uh, he's up in the next car talking to the porter. They're in drawing room D, I believe. Okay, well, Don and Peg. Okay, see you later. What did that kid mean I'll get rolling? Talking to the porter, eh? I warned Rochester about shooting dice. Let's see. Here's drawing room A. Here's B. C. I tell you, Sylvester, I had the most wonderful time in New York I ever had in my life. Is there much excitement in Harlem right now? Brother, there's been excitement in Harlem ever since the Dutch moved out. No wonder he couldn't do any work. I used to stay in those nightclubs so late I'd get sunburn going home. Say, that must have cost you a lot of that green stuff, Rochester. Where'd you get it off? Well, I don't exactly work for nothing. You know, Mr. Benny gives me four hundred a week. Four hundred dollars? No, oranges. I cash them in at the market. He does all right. I grow the juiciest ones in Beverly Hills. You know, Sylvester, there's a gal singing in a little nightclub up there. That's the most gorgeous thing you ever laid your don't-deserve-it eyes on. No fooling. And she kind of goes for me, too. Describe her, son. Well, there are tees I don't have to tell you about. Mm-hmm. But did you ever see a cup of coffee with just the right amount of cream in it? Mm-hmm. Well, hang a low-cut evening gown on it, and there she is. Hmm. That's all he thinks about. Say, Rochester, what about that gal you used to go with? What's her name again? Oh, you mean Susan Brown? Yeah. Where is she now? Oh, I get in touch with her once in a while. She's living down in Birmingham, Alabama. Uh-huh! Now, Rochester, you were standing right there in the hotel when the clerk told me about that $68 telephone charge. But, but, but, but, boy! Now, you owe me that money, Rochester. It's coming out of your next month's oranges. I mean, salary. And the next time you pull anything like that, when we're on the road, you'll stay home. See you later. Of course, I should have suspected something like that. Birmingham, Alabama. You're crowded in here tonight. Everybody uses a washroom at the same time. Where's my toothbrush? Say, look at the lights outside. We must be passing through a town. Yeah, I wonder where we are. Hey, Dennis, look at that sign on the station. What town is this? Waiting Room. Oh, fine, Waiting Room, New Mexico. Where did I put my toothbrush? Hey, Jackson, you ought to get a load of yourself in that night shirt. You look like an old-time A-rab. They wear turbans. I've got a cap on. Now, where did I put my toothbrush? Hey, Jackson, you ought to get a load of yourself in that night shirt. Now, where did I... Dennis, did you see my toothbrush? No, but here's your teeth. That's just a bridge handed over. Watch out, kid, you'll get fit. Oh, Phil, you're so clever. How do you ever think of so many brilliant remarks? One side, Grandma. I'll give you a hot foot. Now, listen, Sonny, you just wait your turn. In other words, get in line, bud. Hey, it's not hollow on four. I sleep in this. Now, scram. Get going, Grandma. I gotta shave. Hey, what are you going to shave? A coconut? I can't top them, eh? It's a little brat. Boy, am I tired. Me too. Well, I guess we're all set. Get moving, Grandma. I want to get some sleep before I get to Hollywood. What are you going to Hollywood for, anyway? I'm going to be a gag man for Bob Hope. Oh, he's getting him young now, isn't he? Hammy my robe, John. It's that green one with seven up on the back. Uh, there it is. Here you are. Good night, Jack. Good night, Don. Good night, Phil. Good night, Jackson. Oh, by the way, Sonny. Yes, sir? Before you sign with Hope, I'd like to have a little talk with you. We'll have breakfast together. Come on, Dennis. Let's go to bed. Okay. Hey, Dennis, did you buy a Navajo blanket when we stopped in Albuquerque? I haven't slept in two nights, and he wants me to buy a blanket. Oh, that's right. You know, Dennis, that little kid has something on the ball. That Grandma gaggy pull on me was pretty good. Yeah. I hope he hasn't got an agent. They always cause trouble. See, I think Mary and Miss Whipple are here in lower five. Good night, Mary. Good night, Jack. Good night, Miss Whipple. Good night, Mr. Benny. Sleep tight. How else can we sleep? No complain, it's the last night. Well, here's our burst, Dennis. Call in. Nothing to do, and I get the outside tonight. You had the outside last night. Don't you remember? You fell out four times. Now, get in there. Quiet. We're trying to sleep. Oh, pardon me. Now, get in there, kid, and stop making trouble. Okay. Gee whiz, Mr. Benny. There's no room here. Put the oranges in the hammock. And if you eat any while I'm sleeping, watch the Jews. Now, get in there. Okay. Boy, I hope I can sleep tonight. Oh, you'll sleep. I know I will. I'm tired. Are you comfy, Dennis? Yeah, I'm all right. Gee, it'll be good to get home. You know, that little kid might not be a bad gag man at that. Hope he shows up for breakfast. Boy, it feels good to stretch out here. Janet, pardon me, Mr. Benny. There you go, crawling over me again. If you can't sleep, I'll tell you a bedtime story. Now, relax. Close your eyes and listen. Okay. Once upon a time, there was a poor little girl named Cinderella, and she went to a ball and married a prince. Now, go to sleep. Oh, boy, I'm exhausted. Now, what if that kid wants a lot of dough? Of course, they're crazy about oranges at that age. Imagine Rochester calling up Birmingham, Alabama. You'd think that $68. Well, here we go again. Back counting sheep. One, two, four. Oh, that's a police dog. Something extra special. It's one of Jack's own favorites, a luscious combination of canned, halved peaches and orange jello. Just dissolve the orange jello in hot water, as you usually do, and then fill six wide sherbet glasses about one-third full and chilled. And when the jello is firm, place a marshmallow in the center of each glass and cover with the peach half, rounded side up. Pour the remaining jello over the peaches and chill until firm. And there's a perfect dessert, a delight to the eye, and a thrill to the taste. Tomorrow, I'll get a can of peach halves and a package of orange jello and make up this delicious treat, golden glistening peach halves embedded in rich orange jello. Remember, jello makes grand desserts like this even grander, because only jello's new locked-in process gives you all the flavor, always. We're a little late, so good night, folks. Friends, jello has probably been a family favorite of yours for years. But did you know that the same folks who make this famous gelatin dessert also make three smooth, creamy puddings, jello chocolate, jello vanilla, and jello butterscotch pudding. This is the National Broadcasting Company, KFI Los Angeles.