 Well, hello and welcome to Understand Men Now. I'm Jonathan Asley of JonathanAsley.com and I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today. Our topic, why you need to stop text messaging, wait a minute, you need to stop text messaging men for good, stop doing this, okay? Really quickly, if after this video, this content resonates with you, check out the link to free discovery call to see if working with a coach is right for you and that call is with me. All right, so this title might shock you. I'm saying to stop text messaging men for good, stop, stop text messaging men for good. Here's the thing that I've observed with a lot of men and women is that we now use our devices to connect with people which used to be communication that was done face to face or over the telephone. I want you to think back if you're old enough to remember before there were smart phones, we would actually either we'd leave voice messages for someone or we'd talk to them on the phone if we wanted to connect. And quite frankly, even back when there was telephone, we spent less time on the telephone and more face to face time with people. And now, and that required to learning how to communicate with a person face to face because communication requires a lot more dialogue, a lot more back and forth, a lot more complexity to it when you're talking to someone face to face. But now we've literally have adopted this short, quick way of communicating and think about it, text messages were really designed for saying, hey, I'm running five minutes late or here's directions to the party or hey, I just want to send you a quick flirt that I'm thinking of you. They're meant to be very short forms of communication but now men and women alike have literally adopted these long, drawn out forms of communication using text messaging. I've talked to women who've said they spent two, three, four, five hours a night texting someone. Now, they might be watching TV or doing something else so it's a way to multitask if you will. But the challenge with incessant text messaging and that's what I want to lean into today is those people that do incessant text messaging and especially text messaging someone you haven't even met yet. I can't tell you how many women I've talked to who have spent weeks and weeks and weeks if not months communicating with a guy mostly via text messaging, getting highly attached to the other person, eventually meeting and oftentimes when they meet because there's all this familiarity built up, all this false familiarity as I call it, false familiarity, all this familiarity is built up that they oftentimes have sex on that first meeting only to find that the person isn't interested in a relationship after they've consummated the sexual aspect of the relationship. So I want to shift perspective and we need to get away from this incessant communication via text messaging and start spending more time face to face. Now, something you might be going, well, Jonathan, I'm in a long distance relationship. Well, here's the thing. And by the way, long distance, matter of fact, I live in Los Angeles, long distance is 30 miles where I live. That's literally a long distance relationship. Actually, let me backtrack, 15 miles is a long distance relationship where I live. And what the challenge with distance is it puts a lot of pressure on using these devices for connectivity instead of real heart to heart doing social activities, hobbies, mutual interest, spending time with family and friends. Now, some of you might be saying, well, it's COVID and we can't see each other. Look it, if you're gonna invest in building a relationship with someone, then I gotta say to you, if you want a partnership with another human being, then it's gonna require building roots and those roots are built through social activities, hobbies, mutual interest, spending time with family and friends, traveling together, being there for each other as a team, being for each other in a teamwork capacity. Hey, I need a ride to an airport. Hey, I need help over here with something. That's how you really build the roots to long-term commitment and trust. And it's very false familiarity when it's built through this device. I call it false familiarity because it feels like you know the person, but truly you don't know someone until you've gone through physical connectivity but also through what are called bumps or storms in the road. Relationships that can overcome bumps and storms in the road. And I'm talking face to face bumps and storms in the road are the ones that build the roots to trust because yes, you might have some, and I did a video recently on conflict or the one skill that instantly shifts your relationship and I'm talking about conflict resolution skills, but most people are weakly developed in this area. This is one of the reasons why I promote my book What the Heck Is Self Love Anyway All the Time. And I also talk about that book over there called Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg. Listen, ladies, I wanna get you to understand that incessant communication via of our devices, whether it's telephone or text messaging is only building what's known as false familiarity. It's not rooted in anything solid. The way to build a rooted relationship, social activities, hobbies, mutual interests, spending time with family and friends, teamwork related out. Activities and of course, intimacy, both physical intimacy and emotional intimacy. And people that are incessant on the phone might think that they're building intimacy and intimacy because they're sharing vulnerable things, but that's not real. It's surface level intimacy because without the roots, the relationship, it's like, I want you to imagine a tree in a hurricane wind without roots. Without those roots, what's gonna happen to the tree? Please post a comment. What will happen to a tree in a hurricane wind without roots? So this is why stop spending all your time on text messaging and start having a face-to-face relationship. This is your greatest chance for success, spending time face-to-face. And if distance is an issue, then you've gotta ask yourself, does it even make sense to invest in a relationship where you can't see each other two or three days a week on a regular basis if you want to eventually be in partnership with someone? And I'm only here talking about those who wanna be in partnership with someone. Is this sinking in? Is this resonating? If it is, please post a comment below. I'd like to hear your thoughts on this. All right. I shared with you if you need some support, check out the link for a free discovery call. But also if you can't afford coaching, check out the link to my VIP group called Midlife Love Mastery. It's only $7 to join and it's $20 a month thereafter. I'd be honored if you join our group. All right. I'm gonna wrap up this video as I always do. First off, giving myself a big gigantic Jonathan Bear hug of self-love. I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone or a pet or even a teddy bear like this guy. And also don't forget salty and give them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love and we can all use more love in our lives. Thanks a bunch. Bye now.