 Do you want to say anything about your experience of doing that? Well, it's been an experience of what I've talked about, lots of doubting. The doubting of myself in the sense of just feeling impelled to step back, to step back, to step back in my mind. What impelled you? Well, it wasn't anything external. I mean, that's the thing. It's been like a calling from deep within that has been like just reminding me that there's something more than all of this. Just a real disillusionment with having tried so many different pathways and sought out so many external things that I thought would help bring meaning to my life that didn't do it. In a sense, I mean, one metaphor could be like wheels. A lot of the old watches had all these different wheels going in it, and if you can think of them as having different diameters or circumferences, you know, you being like wheels inside of wheels inside of wheels, that in a sense of stepping back, it's like hopping out and noticing that you were on a wheel, you were pursuing something that was a very circular, that just didn't get you. Where you thought it would. Where you thought it would. Or hoped it would. You just kept going round and round. And then seeing that, then there's a sense of stepping back and it's like being able to see the wheel and see like, boy, that was a circle. I just kept going round and round and round. There was nothing, there's no sense of satisfaction or fulfillment in that wheel. And then being on another wheel, but not knowing it. And then going deeper into, oh, what am I pursuing now? Whether it's, you know, possessions or a specific kind of relationship or specific kind of job or career, specific kind of climate. It's, you know, it's most desirable to live in. Associating with specific kind of people. Feeling more valuable, more alive with these people than with those people. Specific kinds of activities, pastimes, entertainment, enjoyment. Right. And the body involved in so many different ways. Body, skills, intelligence, ability, improvement. Just wanting to improve and improve. And just stepping back on the wheel, kind of on another wheel and stepping back. And kind of stepping out, outgrowing a wheel. And then outgrowing another wheel. And then outgrowing another wheel. Until, I mean, as one goes along. I experienced this call, this pull, backward. To go back, back, back in the mind. And to start to really question my values. You know, if I'm, if I'm going to search for meaning in life. Wherever I searched, you know, religion, science and politics. And you can, you can search entertainment to try to find, you know, that, that variety of entertainment or that particular thing that will, will do it. And it's like, just seeing that, that that's not it. I don't know, that's not it either. That's not it, just stepping back further and further. Leads one into metaphysics. Leads one into beyond the physical. Leads one into the study of the mind. And how the mind works. And how, what is perception and emotion and thoughts, beliefs, assumptions, so forth. And even that is, is just something that has to be stepped back from too. And in the sense of, of studying the mind is if you can objectify, objectify the mind is something other than, ultimately there just comes this pull and this awareness to, to leap from that subject-object split. That even if I am able to talk about the mind, you know, and describe it in everything, but still, you know, see, see it as something objective, then once again there's still that split I'm still talking about. But there's a state of being which it's just a recognition of what is. In, in a metaphorical sense it, you know, it is not I that live, but Christ that lives in me. The sense of dualness disappears. There's not a sense of objectifying behavior. The question, you know, what shall I do? You know, should I do this or should I do that? And all the weighing of pros and cons and the analyzing everything stops. And from that clear intention, from that clear purpose, everything else follows from it. Spirit is, is placed at the center. Spirit is valued. Is, is the attention is placed on the spirit or the voice for God or the intuition or however, you know, you want to talk about it. But there's such a focus and such an intention on that, that everything else follows from that. There is no focus and attention put on the construct anymore, but simply on that intention to stay in the mind, stay in the witness and the observer mode, if you will. So in that state there's no need to even, in a sense, struggle over decisions. It's more that the decisions are made, but it's just all kind of unfolds effortlessly and it's just all part of the overall flow of things. Yes, decisions, there's a great line in the course, the decision is a conclusion based on everything that you believe. And, you know, once you step back, once you begin to see that the beliefs are part of the construct, then you step back deeper and deeper and deeper to a point that's behind, behind and beyond the beliefs. But literally, there's an abstraction, there's just a state of being that is literally beyond belief, that is beyond the thought form associations and beyond constructs. And there's rest in that state, there's contentment. There is no alternative in that state of being. There is nothing to choose between. Well, that's the atonement, right? When you get to that, when you arrive at that state, is it worth? Just is, yes. When you can see that there aren't no alternatives, really. That's seeing the construct as a construct. That's seeing that there is nothing outside of me. That's seeing and really understanding that ideas leave not their source. The world was an idea in my mind, and it did not leave its source. The subject-object disappears. I mean, there's a sense of joining, an awareness of connectedness and join, so that those constructs and differences, body and hand and leaf and tree and, you know, butterfly and so on and so forth, that there is just one, that it is all just one. The construct, the fabric of the time-space universe is seen as a single fabric. There aren't particular threads that are discerned or separated out as standing out more valuable, more important. Less important. Categorizing, organizing, analyzing, dissecting. All that is stopped. All that was a defense against the state of being, against the fact of what is. Just seeing all the little pieces you're saying is the mind's defense against seeing the totality. As long as you keep focusing on individual pieces, kind of like putting a jigsaw puzzle together. As long as you keep focusing on individual pieces to be put into a jigsaw puzzle, you don't have the whole puzzle. Or even when the whole puzzle is completed, if you zone in on a particular piece, you can't see the overall picture that's created by having all the pieces side by side. Yes. The pieces imply subject and object. I mean, to even talk about parts, we're back down into duality and multiplicity. And once again, to even see the whole fabric, it's not like seeing it as a person or seeing it through the body's eyes, of course, because there's the multiplicity of the duality again. The body's eyes can't see the whole thing. That's what you're saying. But metaphorically, when I say see the fabric, that is a metaphor for that all is one. That there is no split between subject and object and observer and observed. There's nothing to defend in that state because there's nothing to defend against. You need some duality to have an opposite or something to oppose or conflict with or whatever. So we're not, when I say see the construct or see the fabric work, we're talking about a state of being, an awareness that is not a seeing in the worldly sense of seeing. In the worldly sense, you can say, okay, I'm standing here on the street and I see the cars and I see some of the buildings and I can see some skyscrapers around. And then, for instance, walking into the Empire State Building or whatever and going up to the 15th floor and peering out one of the windows and saying, oh, I see so much more. I can see further. I can see more buildings than I just saw. And then going up to the 30th floor and saying, even more. I mean, I can see farther. I can look around. I can see all around the island of Manhattan and so forth and everything. And then going to the very top and looking over and just seeing the horizon and seeing a much different perspective. But this is not the seeing of the whole fabric because this is still perceptual and perhaps a broader perspective. A different perspective each time it seems. More expansive perspective. Yes, it seems even more expansive. But it's still perceptual. But it's still perceptual. I mean, you could take that and someone, for instance, then going on in an airplane and flying over the top and seeing an even more expansive perspective. Then going up on the space shuttle and seeing the globe and seeing an even more expansive perspective. And then getting pictures back from a satellite that was sent to Mars and seeing an even more expansive. But these are all perceptual. All of these perspectives imply a person foot.