 If I had my way, ngefanya yo anybody, bana boy, nito ke tu iwi na kichwa, but you see, I need to relax and stay in the morning. Wait for my Facebook, I tried to 5-4 channel onto the hashtag. It's why in the morning or Queens Wednesday. And oh my goodness, I do not know how I allowed this morning to start without me making an announcement. And I'll make it very quick. So congratulations to the Grammy award winners. One of them being coffee to make an artist who won, I think the best reggae album. And she's the first female and the youngest ever Jamaican, I think, to win. So she's 19 and she's doing phenomenal things. And we had Angelique Kijo, if I'm not wrong. She won an award and also dedicated it to burner boy. So shout out burner boy, you didn't win, but you got nominated, which I think is still just as amazing. So yeah, congratulations everybody. But now that we come back to why 254 in particular, why in the morning. We are going to be talking about falling in love. And maybe it's just my falling because falling is in the kwanguka. Namnezo mea. I'm not too sure if it's the right phrase, but we'll get to that in a bit. But help me say hello to my guests. How are you, Nick? Hi. Apana. Hi. Hi. There we go. Did you turn the choir? Hey, you may sound busy with me. Alright, let's start over here. Thank you, mommy. I'm fine, thank you. Nakama owa. I like the orange. I like the orange. What's your good name? Okay, my name is Teriumangangi. Yeah, and I'm happy to be here today. We're glad to have you. Thank you. Hi, Joanne. How are you? I like it. I like it. Thank you. Now let's go to Shumbwa and shop. Shop. Okay. I want to go to the shop. Ah, Sunyameji. I want to go to the shop. I want to go to the shop. Joanne. Alright, so we have Joanne and we have a very, very, very no gentleman in the house. First of all, I feel intimidated because it's Queens Wednesday and I'm a man. So I'm wondering whether I'm out of place. No, no, no, no, no. Here you should feel nothing but love. Great. Nothing but affection. Great. We care for the boy child. Okay. Well, that's so comforting. Yeah. And if I'm not missing any names, if I can't buy it. Okay. What's your nickname? I'm Phil Bataganya. Yes. I'm an ambassador with the youth lead. Yes. You're so composed. I feel like I should call you sir. Do I have to call you sir? No, no, no. Please. I'm a young person. Yeah. I'm still, I still got like three more years to pass the youth age. So I'm very much within the youth's bracket. We'll be moving it. We'll be moving it. That's even better. To around 40 maybe. That's even better. Life begins at 40. Yeah, they keep telling us. So at the youth and Afakwa 40, isn't it? Absolutely. Okay, but we'll discuss these other deliberations later at the course of the day. Okay. But today we're talking about falling in love. Aya. Oh. So to our Facebook Misha Muka. I'm Koryla. Oh my gosh. But if I form a Facebook, but if I form a channel on Twitter, hashtag is one in the morning. So maybe we can start this backwards. And this is actually very good for you. So you can get to see how the audience is reacting. And then maybe we can work back from that and trying to figure out. Do we really know what love is? All right. So we have a man James. He says love is beautiful. It's yummy. Hey. Wow. Uh huh. He continues to say love is Lord. Amen. I feel like preaching. They already hear the mobile. What? Look at you. Good morning, Evadje. Migos Trapa says, where? Here in Ngori, say truly divorce. Divorce dinner. Samuel Gugi says, kaiyo nai vasha tuned. As you continue, remember, you can use any hashtag you want. Hashtag Queens Wednesday, hashtag one in the morning. We have Rashid Demor Ndioku Sema Nini Enlighted me please. Okay. Lame. Lame. Woo. Diaz. I did not pronounce that. Of course I'm in love, but it's a very big story. I can't finish. But can't finish now. But what can I say is that love always cares. I always care for him, but I don't want to hurt him ever. Mke kaiyacho. Wow. Handle, manzee. Loving for someone, daughter. She will need a lot and yes it always. I will end up breaking up. Atastaki. Atani. Yos. Eh. Mke kisoro. Wow. C.W.M.Tapeli says, weyo jina love ne chiki sana. Ni jina kubwa sana. Me ain't in love with nobody to stop myself, my parents clan. All right. I see you. Nometisha request. Meshawena. Slaikaveta. Hello. Good morning to you. Lauren. Loreen. Sorry. Immaculate. Nono waka wamba wamba nilesare singunes. Loved. Nani me penda pia. Eh. Sasa onom tu mingina ne kia presha. Hashtag valati. Wedding inakam na sitapa valley. Luis Morio. Morio. Oh yes. I'm in it. I'm in love. It happened when we were in a lecture hall and her phone rang. The lecture got annoyed and carried her phone away because being the class rep, I had to intercede on her behalf. And since I was in good terms the lecture was given it back after a week. Kaboom. The rest is history. I'm planning the wedding and the lecture will be the MC. Eh. Sorry. Sorry. Misiva Berbetom says I'm not in love and nothing happened. What I'm into is caring and being responsible for us not to hurt anyone's feelings. There is nothing like love. It's just lust and illustrations too. 22. Represented vala. See you. Misiva. Hmm. There's a lot going on. First of all, at least we've all covered that love is a big word. Na ifa ikutu we want to of you, of you. I don't know if you guys know. I don't mean this out of malice, but ushe tranam Nigeria. Those very aggressive ones and they just want to talk to you by force whether you want to talk to them or not. It's usually, hi, I love you. As in, it's on your salam. Hi, I love you. What do you want? Can't be my baby. I'll give you anything. Why are some guys like that? Is it their culture? Amma, they just want to skip away first to what they think we want to hear. What do you think, sir? I would say it's, I wouldn't want to blame them. We are brought up differently. People come from different backgrounds. But the men, the society has cultured most men in a way that they are supposed to take charge. Let me draw a little bit more from nature. If we look at the nature all over, the male specie is given prominence. If you look at the, let's look at the buds. Some of the most attractive buds are the males. Look at a cock. The reason why it's like that is so that you can attract females. So unfortunately, when we come to the humans, the male species or let me say just the male gender, they always want the women to be attracted to them. So much so that you don't notice. The first thing I want to tell you is, hey, I'm here. Can't you see me? Or they feel like they have this kind of a sense of entitlement that I just want to come to you and tell you, hey, you know what? I love you and you're supposed to respond. That's what I think. And the upbringing is different. But to guys who've been cultured properly, been brought up well, respect is mutual. So I need to respect you before I can even tell you that I love you. I mean, you have to show me some signs that hey, you are somebody who's budding my checking out. I see. So ladies, I'm going to give you individual questions and then Philbert is going to come in and then give his five cents. We are good. Because these questions are tailor made for ladies who might assume they're in love. So how do you know when you're in love, how do you know when you're in love? Ni tumbo inanzaku yeyuka, inanzaku konda konda of you. Ni nake tukuna kagas, filanimna tkaku tukuna na ni. How do you know when you're in love? Okay. I would say first you have sleepless nights. You think a lot. Yeah, appetite goes off. And then I can't eat. You feel like talking to the person every time? Yes. I would talk to me, John. How do you know when you're in love? Okay. I know when I'm in love when I see the message or the number of the person maybe calling a message. So. Naskia kakitu. Naskia kakitu. Bakum na kongia polepone. Yeah, you start smiling. You yourself doing something and your mind pops to them. Yeah, so that's how I start feeling there is something. Is there something wrong with me? Because I'm not sleeping, not eating. It can't be me. It can't be me. I don't know maybe it's a place I've reached in my life. I am aware emotions has done the bear rent. So atakan me kufia mutunaji and bear me in love. I know in the back of my mind there are more important things in life. So atakan kunai yoka. He looks nice but me yanguha ita kuapa ita kumali uko. Is there something wrong with me? Maybe you're not a lazy. Take that back. You're not a lady because every lady who feels like a lady should ideally feel something. Hi. Because usually, not usually from. Menanijaj. Menanijaj. Everybody has a concern about nature. Ladies are usually attracted to the males. That is how it has been. That is the law of nature. Look at the lion. Kali asima bili yuko. The lionesses, the females will definitely be attracted to the male. And all over we've seen that happen. I would say when you come and ski here for then probably okay, let me take that back that you're not a lady. No pressure. No pressure. I have the body parts of a lady. I am convinced I am one. Yes, you are. But your feelings are different. From the inside, maybe there's just an orientation that is not like I said, okay, see short. She's not into it. Yes, you're not into it because of your orientation. The environment that is around you. And by the sometimes it's not even, it happens without you knowing. Maybe the people you hang around, probably you hang around man most of the times. And there's just some things that are not they're not just in you. You don't feel it. But when you're in love you will feel something different. Somebody described love in a very funny way that love is a feeling that you feel when you feel a feeling that feels like, you know, kitu tu oelewi kitu tu oelewi kitu tu oelewi lakinu na iski atu yuko tu haa puma adi. So you know, when you go by that you'll definitely realize that ladies usually have a way that they feel. I'm not exonerating men. Most men sometimes don't even realize that they're in love until the lady is like smack in your face. Nasi mudi zema swali. Ask how you know a guy is in love with you. Be quick. So how do you know? Yeah, how do you notice? For a man. I would say it takes time. Letting you my own personal experience. I'm a married man. I started dating my wife when we were in campus and for like three years we were just friends. She is somebody that I was helping. She was emotionally low and we first of all met in a friend's room. She had actually come to say for help from my roommate who was like her father in campus and then I saw her and I saw a troubled person. So Badiya Badiya wunga wunga infact she wasn't even given the time because this guy was very busy doing some other some of his other assignments. So I felt like she wasn't given the much attention that she needed. Nani kam fwata Badiya yo kumuliza really what was the issue because it's so in her face that she was troubled. And just out of curiosity I'm so sorry for interrupting but was that initial reaction of yours to go check on her? Iliku ufi siyama you just wanted to help. And you can answer honestly we want to judge. I'm being very honest Ikwani ufi siyama naturally like I told you it's upbringing personally I was brought up in the church and I was given some lessons on general just being good I believe when you're being nice to somebody it doesn't have to be like payback as in a transactional kind of relationship. I wish she was here she would have given that testimony. I simply followed her ni kam tafran kama mbiya I think now ni kama ki dinakusumbu and true to my word she was troubled when she told me her story I realized that she had all she had struggled so much with her emotions overcoming a lot of anger in her childhood so ni kam patia kitabu there's a book that I read myself maybe I used to struggle with anger so when I was given that book it helped me and then I gave it to her and from that time we just became friends she knew I was dating actually yes I was dating somebody na mimi mimi spendangu plot twist na ni kamu mbiya this is my girlfriend and Ivo Ivo but then I didn't the same way unaskana ku mbiya I didn't know that we were like a love relationship was developing until sometime three years later yes now you see we are running out of time but I'm sure we are coming back to that story we are coming back alright give me the next slide and then you at home do like you and give us your 5 cents on our platforms at White Fire from Facebook White Fire for Chano on Twitter hashtag is white in the morning how do you last in love and this is important because I feel this question here ima sumboa stanawengi because you're in love you tell yourself in love or you believe you're in love and you are feeling like the person is reciprocating pia na kufilman zato ono na kuna kaki toa po but how do you last in love ineza fika point wo boeke when deli which is fine amaya boeke when deli lakini wo takiku muwacha nasya boeka so how is it amas are we going to first men to be in relationships because we still want them ama it's okay to let go talk to me actually you can let go but you know most ladies they think that love lasts according to how the man gives her the attention so like she just needs the attention like niki kaivi because I'm not chatting with friends I need your text here then that time your man is busy doing something so like the ladies you have to look you know the attention you want attention is just it's not that permanent it can last for some time so you have to look for some manu values not just attention all time everyone is busy everyone is not on fall everyone is not on babe let's do this because they have other businesses so I think that's why some people fall in love and it doesn't last and that goes to the ladies mostly I've seen females trying to impose themselves in a guy's life for example una penda fil bat so now una zaku hang around plotia kendo ujima neighbor okuna tuka zinia keizi hi I'm his girlfriend hi I'm his girlfriend kumuna trivina classmate upenditu vayanaka hi excuse me I'm his girlfriend yes and you are so is that something do you think that will make love last ok I have a a friend story yeah and then she told me ok you know they go to media trying to look what is going on and then now so it happened this girl saw a picture of a guy it was in Instagram and so the girl started checking out on checking out on his on her phone about this guy and so in the process of taking she saw it was kind of an advert the guy was doing and then in that advert there was his number so the girl took higher and then went into the inbox she inbox she inboxed the girl the guy and then from then they started ok the girl had a crush on the guy wow would you do something like this it will depend I have two questions first I want you to give us your two cents on what they both said and then if the girl is wondering the approaching verses the traditional guy coming up to you does it last longer first let me start by saying that well imposing yourself on a guy does not necessarily mean that this guy is going to love you but sometimes it could be an eye open up to a guy especially one who is sleeping who does not want to see cents some men just have to be slapped out of this lumber but that's a smaller percentage first things first I believe we need to demystify the word falling in love because it gives a negative connotation when you fall in love it means personally I don't agree with it I would rather get into a relationship in a relationship it's something you build and you grow you develop mutual likings muna jua kama ujama na pendahivi na mipi na pendahivi then probably this is something that's going to last now last thing in a relationship does not only go with the commonalities you have to develop something deeper and that is why when you fall in love falling is something sudden so also it means when you falling in love it has to be something sudden now what happens when you rise up you realize that oh kumbe li kwa tuni nini haqban yes haqban amand jokes amand pingini li kwa na skiatu fani there's some people who say when they are drunk sorry to use this example but some people when they are not sober then everything now becomes nice sasa apu ni maliwa na wana kila kitusani kizuri they even feel like they want to fall in love that is why I'm saying when you get into a relationship you are getting in there when you're conscious so it's something that you develop over time and you realize that oh okay fine I think this is something we can go with for long so last thing in a relationship the first the first advice maybe I would want to give ladies is identify the common things that connect you guys together with this person and it doesn't really mean that when you impose yourself on him that he will love you or this thing will last will grow it is a progressive step by step process so much so that kikusana muna rudiana lanyi wote muna na sense ya kwa ni ni ya kuru diana I like that Dr. Benjamin Zuluwa said you are falling in love your heart is giving you a lot and it's asking your brain for permission to continue do we proceed or do we fall back is that kind of what you've just said I want to believe so ya okay so we talked about no we are going to talk about the love languages do you know what a love language is nianja we will be for that let me ask him a question ask him so when you talk of love at first sight and there is this love that you find you have a wrong number of a person you've started talking you've known each other just through the talking and conversation on phone between that and love at first sight which one lasts long I would say both have the potential to last long why because the general ingredient in all that is something called curiosity love at first sight there are cases that love at first sight have prevailed cases of that have prevailed why because of curiosity mimi ni maname I meet this new lady and then somehow I'm curious I want to know something about her and she's also curious she also feels the same thing and then as a result something grows but the key word there is growth there has to be growth I don't believe in negative growth growth has to be progressive you move from one point to the next so at a kama ni love at first sight there has to be that progressive growth you talked about what was the other one talking on phone maybe wrong number still the common ingredient is curiosity you're curious I'm curious what makes you take something like that so as we develop this kind of conversation we both realize that there's something interesting there's more to this phase than meets than my eye can see and then like that we develop a conversation there has to be growth so I want to wrap up the conversation with the love languages and I think it's important to understand how your partner responds love language nitu now I'm in the Sunday class so love language nitu I don't understand I don't understand and if you just work with me let's just slide there was a mix up one brain cell too I want to just go past the slides real quick so what is your love language so there's words of affirmation let me just say them out loud there's words of affirmation that is receiving gifts nimona physical touch quality time and one has passed me please give me the slides guys give me give me slides please please no yes ok go words of affirmation continue go hey why are you being like this one yes so some of the words of affirmation I love you so much you make me feel so loved you inspire me to be better I can't wait to see you again as we continue as we continue I love spending time with you I love being yours no one makes me happier than you and then the second love language is acts of service saku kwa shavyombo so small things acts of service we have receiving gifts wa chokpe wa chokles na maua the time is coming the season is here there's quality time and there is physical touch thank you so very much thank you so much for the morning for helping me wrap that up really nice so in conclusion how do you think these love languages are beneficial na machu kama mungi so no machu kata kwa zinawe ok please make it let me start with mine mine is words of affirmation I love being appreciated and my wife knows that if I do something nice and you appreciate me it shows that you respect me it shows that you feel me so the love languages it's important that every young person understands the love languages it helps in identifying the commonalities that you had me talking about ni kijua this is what you prefer then I'll know exactly what to do to please you to catch your attention and all that but the problem is most young people don't want to read at pedikusoma so atatuji love languages ni ni ni oku lisa ask randomly I'm sure that's why manumen is up at Demawili maybe Joann Nateri alafu apate her love languages different from hers kama ilewi love languages ni ni ni kama moja kuna kierere kulepomotines that's what's happening miscommunication kama tashinda kiami umingine the love languages of this one they end up he gets up confusing the two wana shikua things like that I want you to sum up kenyome learn up apoi conversation in a sentence perhaps so I'll go for the word affirmation because when he tells you know the words the words mean a lot but also actions speak louder than me so like the physical how he gives it at me such things but towards affirmation it's a good thing because at least when he says it I know it's from in metro kandani and for you what's your love language I support Joann you support me the love language I support you no one supports you but I support you it's your love language okay I would say all of them but not actually they don't go in details maybe some once in a while maybe others mostly but now that's why I'm doing affirmation now it's like always because let's say anything happens like when you break up I'm not breaking up actually but maybe I've messed up or he has messed up we can't sleep without making things straight so we have to make things straight so that God when when he gives us another day we start it afresh with new things so sweet oh my God now you even want me to wrap this up all over again but we've just finished so thank you thank you all of you for tuning in and for giving your thoughts on the topic falling in love but I I'd rather walk in can you walk in love instead of falling into it it's never too late is it an option I want to walk and see where I'm going still has money I'm okay WhiteFive for Facebook at WhiteFive for channel Twitter hashtag is White in the Morning or Queens Wednesday thank you we have a repeat from around 2 to 4 p.m. Keshawni ila siku ya DJ Hanson hey DJ Hanson ya so you have an amazing day and I have an amazing the rest of you and weekend I can see you I can see you you're not too far away this is not where we wait