 The internet has evolved greatly over the years, constantly changing adapting with current trends and culture. Also becoming accessible in many different ways, from the sad PC setup you call a battle rig to the mobile device that you touch with all five little piggies in finger form. But the internet has evolved so much that it's become a second home to almost everyone. Even mainstream consumers due to COVID destroying everyone's social lives and while we're out at bank accounts. The internet has given people friends, jobs, stress, social isolation, but what I find most interesting is that the internet has given some of us parasocial relationships and they aren't as bad as you might think they are. By just the title of the video alone, some of you might already have your minds concluded and are rushing into the comment section typing about how wrong I am and that dream is making a cult army, you're right but just watch the video. Parasocial relationships are a huge taboo in open discussions since most points against it tend to be parroted without much elaboration. And on the opposite side you have those who ride the fence looking at both the negatives and positives. And while it might come off as noble to the average enjoyer who will clap their hands and give a shiny medal, I find it safe and lazy. And to use that as a justification to not be critical and choose a side is actually quite cowardly in comparison to just saying that you don't care about the discussion or that you simply don't want to piss anyone off. I don't care about US politics and when anyone asks my opinions on the subjects I don't ride the fence to make myself look open minded. I just state that I'm too uninvested, uninterested, and uneducated to give an opinion on the matter. And when I watch a shitty movie with a group of friends and so on I ask what I thought at the end of it, I just say it was good and carry on because I'm not going to debate people in my day to day life who only watch the movie to get a two hour escape from reality. God, Black Widow fucking sucks. I'm not saying that you can't be open minded. I stand by the complete opposite actually, but fence sitting is starting to become too prevalent in discussions that tend to have disagreements. For those confused in our goblins who fight on Twitter all day, fence sitting is a state of indecision or neutrality with respect to conflicting positions. So if you own an apple and I steal it because I'm hungry, the majority opinion would be that I'm acting like an asshole because I just stole an apple from you. But the fence sitter would find justification to my actions and remain neutral when I'm clearly in the wrong. And where it's good to be open minded like looking for my motives and reasoning for stealing the apple, it should give more context to make a conclusive decision. If the answer is clear and you're still fence sitting, it's most likely because you want to be a part of the conversation, but don't want to pick a definitive side to avoid backlash. I'm being extremely transparent because I'm not fence sitting in this video. The title reads, A defensive parasocial relationships and I stand by the take that parasocial relationships are okay and to an extent even needed. But I'm also going to be critical on both sides of the relationship. But my viewpoint is concrete and final. Parasocial relationships are okay and to an extent even needed. Now that I got that mouthful out of the way, parasocial relationships are something I find super fascinating. A parasocial interaction refers to a kind of psychological relationship experienced by an audience in their meditated encounters with performers in the mass media, particularly on television. Viewers or listeners come to consider media personalities as friends despite having no or limited interactions with them. That was the definition about giving the English version piss off glados. An example of a parasocial interaction is having engagement or emotional feelings with media that has no connection to you, making it completely one sided. This applies to both fiction and nonfiction. This is just the general concept with no context to positive or negative examples. But recent events and online personalities have tainted people's perspectives on the concept of a parasocial relationship. So I made a poll on Twitter to get feedback on just the main concept alone. I asked if a parasocial relationship was okay and 73.6 of 106 votes said no while 26.4 said yes. And I wasn't surprised at all. They aren't okay. Being so obsessed with a creator or community of creators isn't really healthy. I don't think getting obsessed with someone on the internet that you do not know IRL is a good thing. It sounds unhealthy. It will probably lead to disappointment either way if you ever meet them IRL. No, I think they're unhealthy as fuck. The main criticism I read about parasocial relationships is that they're unhealthy due to them being one sided and not real. Look up to IRL people you know, friends, family, et cetera, not YouTubers. That's your first mistake, myself included. Stop idolizing YouTubers. I'll keep preaching this to the end of time, even against myself. It's a really bad take. I made a joke response saying that my father killed 83 people and that my best friend killed a batch of baby birds. And while it's clearly a joke, unless they're doing some shit in private, it applies to my disagreement. Remember we're not talking about the negatives of a parasocial relationship yet. We're talking about the general concept. There's nothing wrong with having one way relationships in regards to media. If you're watching a show unlike the main character while wearing further wellbeing, you have formed a parasocial relationship. You clearly understand that Walter White and Iron Man aren't real people, yet you still have attachment to the character and sometimes the actors who portray them. But let's apply this to media that involves real people. It's kind of the same, but it isn't. Nice writing ass face. If I hate Breaking Bad, I can't attack Walter White because he's not real, but I can still harass and annoy the writer, Vince Gilligan, or the actor who portrayed him. Just kidding, Brian Cranston, I would never. But if I don't like PewDiePie and I choose to be a nuisance, I'm affecting PewDiePie directly since he's a real person. Fictional parasocial relationships and real parasocial relationships both share the same positives and negatives. For example, Game of Thrones season eight was so poor that when it concluded, the writer started receiving hate and death threats. Even though the show was fictional, the audience understands that the show didn't come out of thin air. There's a team behind it, but nonetheless, something that's based around fiction can still have fans that cross boundaries. There isn't exclusivity to shitty behavior, just as there isn't exclusivity to good behavior of a parasocial relationship. This tweet makes no sense because it's situational and extremely subjective. Just because you know someone in your day-to-day life shouldn't give them priority over the impact of parasocial relationships. If a child adores Spider-Man and Markiplier but has a drunk abuse of father, and what logical sense should the father have priority over the content they're consuming? Look, I know this is a dark example, but even in a lighter context, it still makes no sense. If your mother works at a gas station and is a good person, but has nothing in common with your ambitions, dreams, or goals, why should they have priority over a role model that could potentially be more relatable and inspirational? I, of course, love my family, but they weren't my role models growing up. This isn't a jab they just genuinely weren't. Those were my parasocial relationships. I love filmmaking and wanted to follow the same path as the directors I grew up watching. I also love music and overcame a lot of obstacles because of the artists that I now deem my heroes. Thanks, Cuddy. And today, I'm pretty confident that James Gunn, director of Guardians of the Galaxy, and Kid Cuddy have no clue who the hell I am, but nonetheless, I have that parasocial relationship because both have impacted my life direction. And since I'm a YouTuber, it's fair to say that I have a lot of other YouTubers that I grew up watching that led me to the path that I'm at now. And I've been pretty vocal about it. Also, Shammy's one of the main reasons why I write the way I do. Also, saying that I make YouTube videos, I should also mention probably some of the YouTubers that I get influenced by. When I was a kid, I watched Zaptine. This was a video that I made six months ago where I explained the power of influence and I mentioned the content creators who influenced me. I'm now fortunate enough today to have contact with some of these people, but at some point it was just completely one-sided, with me being the viewer and then being the entertainer. It's surprising how many people are in agreement with this post and I'm pretty sure that most, if not all, are hypocrites and have made their own parasocial relationships at one point with content creators. Idolizing celebrities can set you up for disappointments, but so can family and relatives. People can be shitty role models from your parents to your favorite content creators. There's nothing wrong with looking up to celebrities and in this context, that includes YouTube content creators. YouTubers are no different than actors, musicians, athletes, or anybody that has a public platform for that matter. But something I find weird is that music and sports seem to be the only forms of entertainment that don't have a problem with idolization and parasocial relationships, at least when compared to other examples that is. I looked up to like MIA and Kid Cuddy, man. Kid Cuddy's like really like one of the main dudes. I kind of like looked at and listened to all the time. He saved my life. He saved me from doing like random bad things to myself, killing me like focus, like. Most rap musicians, yes, Ben Shapiro, musicians, will admit that they've listened and praised Kanye West, Jay-Z, Biggie Smalls, or any other rapper that they grew up listening to that led them to pursue their career. And for athletics, let's use basketball for example. Both Kobe Bryant and Michael Jordan grew up attempting to fill in the shoes of past NBA legends that they admired. And today, Michael Jordan's still a huge inspiration for future and current NBA players, but he had a horrible gambling addiction which doesn't make him a perfect role model on paper. Yet people still want to be like Mike. And back to the music example, Kanye has had a shit ton of incidents that could be debated. Yet he still referred to as one of the greatest musicians of all time. Both are cases of parasocial relationships with inspiration having flaws. And exempting YouTube personalities from idolization because of failure to meet expectations is unfair. YouTubers aren't exclusive to not meeting expectations and like everyone should be held accountable if necessary, but gatekeeping them from idolization in general is ridiculous. Vulnerability in media is something that leads to parasocial relationships but can sometimes be unintentionally impactful. And the place you could find this most prevalent would be music and film. If an artist displays something that's thought provoking or relatable, this could lead to the consumer developing deep emotions to the artist and their work. There's no problem with this. And most of the time it's even intentional from the artist to have the consumer feel something. Most musicians admit that the songs they make are up for the listener's interpretation and whatever they settle within their mind is theirs exclusively. This also applies to films, especially psychological ones like The Lighthouse, Shutter Island, The Truman Show, Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind, or anything Charlie Kaufman. You could find the artist's intentional vision behind a project most of the time but whatever the consumer feels about the artist is completely subjective to them. This is an example of a parasocial relationship that's not problematic at all. And if you were to love the artist and the artist for what they're making, that's okay as well. Everyone tends to get low and that could be from life events and shitty circumstances. And when people are at their most vulnerable, they cling on closely to whatever helps them. You all have that favorite song where the artist hits all the notes that you might be feeling, making you love the song because it's so relatable. I know this because I've used my favorite sad song as my outro for almost every video. The song is by Brock Hampton and is named Feel and the person singing is named Jobah and he has a discussion with his brain who's relapsing on the wrong decisions he's made while the person in the mirror is persuading him to end his life. But he's then disrupted by another band member who gives him reassurance that he blends in with the guys. I use this example because it's really personal and subjective to me but everyone has something they latch onto in a state of vulnerability. It could be a show, a video game, or even a song. There's creative people that I love without having any connection to them because of how much the heart has impacted me in a vulnerable state. And I understand that it's one sided so there's no problem with me having these feelings in a parasocial relationship. Everything in the world has positives and negatives and parasocial relationships aren't exempt from this. A viewer can at times cross a line intentionally and unintentionally and it's important to not do that. People need to know their boundaries when engaging with someone they have formed a parasocial relationship with and it's also the responsibility of the subject to not abuse the power dynamic. Look, I've been that annoying little kid before so I understand awkward interactions with people you adore. Especially since there's so many different ways a creator can establish contact with fans nowadays. There's a couple creators who enabled their fandom like KSI because he doesn't give a shit and it makes for good content but this doesn't apply to everyone. And sometimes the way you talk to a creator will weird them the fuck out. A friend can make fun of me and throw around my first name because we're tight like that but if the same is done by someone I've never met before the same feeling doesn't apply and I'm gonna be weirded out. This is the same with one sided humor. This was a response from a content creator named Shammy to a fan who was self advertising and he's completely in the right. Even though you know the personality of someone you watch they don't know anything about you and would judge you based on first impression. There's ways to stand out and make contact with someone you idolize without coming off as annoying and intrusive. And for creators don't take what you have for granted. Power dynamics exist and people will have obsessions over you and it's responsible for you to shut down those dynamics when you can. If you're an adult and a teenage fan is pursuing you you are at a majority fault if you pursue any further. Yes, the fan is still at fault but not nearly as much as the creator due to them not taking the responsible route of shutting down the situation. Don't take what you have for granted. It's ridiculous to gamble on power dynamics. Be responsible. Toxicity is the main reason that parasocial relationships are looked down upon and I understand why. Toxicity is apparent in every community but is extremely problematic when it comes to parasocial relationships of certain content creators. And it's not just the fans fault it's also the subjects who are enabling it. In this context it would be the content creator. It can range from scumbags like Maximillumus encouraging toxic fans to harass and dox people or Minecraft creators who let their fan base step all over them without setting boundaries. If you own a Star Wars channel and don't like the rise of Skywalker that's perfectly fine. But if you send your toxic fan base to send death threats to the cast and production that's incredibly immature and toxic. If you have the privilege of a fan base and use them for harm you're not deserving of it. But to the second point creators need to have a fucking spine. Your relationship to the creator is subjective and should have no influence. You don't know the person and don't have any input to their life or who they associate with. But the creator associates with someone that you don't like suck it up and deal with it or fuck off and go away. Making someone trend over minuscule reasons is an abusive power dynamic. And it's usually the creators fault for not combating or defending themselves because they don't want to piss off their money bag. You constantly see these spineless dweebs fold and apologize over dumb shit and it gives their fan base confidence that if they complain enough they will get their way. It's unhealthy and incredibly concerning. Then you have people like Fitz, Jay Schlatt and Connor Eats pants who double down and don't fold. Because letting 13 year old kids make decisions for you is stupid. Staying culture is the most toxic form of a parasolish relationship because it's extremely obsessive. If your whole world revolves around someone that you don't know that's not normal and should not be encouraged. There's a difference between interest and obsession. I am inspired and motivated by my parasolish relationships but I don't make my world axis around them because that's fucking weird. You could like dream and have them be a source of your enjoyment but if you argue with those who don't carry those same views or even dream himself or having an opinion or doing something that you dislike, that is unhealthy. And dream enabling this behavior is irresponsible. At the end of the day a parasolish relationship isn't that impactful on children because most stands are kids who will grow out of it. All the girls back in the day who would have jumped on a spike for each member of One Direction are grown as adults now. But encouraging this behavior is impactful to everyone that surrounds this cult like following and sets a bad standard that the fan has control over the creator. No one should be a dancing monkey to their audience. The entertainer doesn't know you or love you and they say they love you that's because they want you to buy their merch. Have a spine, put your foot down and stop enabling a cult. With everything being said, parasolish relationships are more than just staying culture. Everyone has these relationships and it's okay to take part in them if you're at the understanding that it's one sided. It's never okay to hold up individuals as gods amongst men because we're all human and we'll let you down at some point. But it's still okay to have media that can inspire you or even lead you to a path that you want to take in the future. Just remember, the TV doesn't love you and it's not obligated to. An obsession over anything from drugs to junk food is problematic and unhealthy. Be responsible with your parasolish relationships and remain realistic. At the end of the day, we're all just people. I'll see y'all boys tomorrow and we bring them vibe out and they gon' drive down.