 Today, I'm going to be interviewing Vicki Haddock. She is a life and business coach, and we're going to be talking about some of the things that she often works with her clients on. So I think a lot of you will benefit from this. Let me first share with you Vicki's bio, and then I'm going to bring her on. By the way, she is a member of my Master Heart Business Mentoring Group. So it's great to be able to interview her. So Vicki Haddock helps women connect to their own intuition and divine guidance to heal the hurts that keep them stuck in self-sabotage and to embrace their authentic purpose. She, Vicki really helps her clients to build what she calls their Eiffel Tower-sized dream in life and in business. Vicki herself has gone through some challenging circumstances to build her own strong personal foundation. She has experienced some toxic relationships, divorce, and also being a single parent. She's also had 20 years of leadership and people development experience in corporate America, which has prepared her to lead women to transcend their own limitations or their own perceived limits and to teach them and guide them to live a fulfilled life at various levels. She is an ICF certified coach and a NLP neurolinguistic programming practitioner. Vicki, welcome to this call. Thank you so much for doing this. Thank you, George. It's great to be here today. Yeah. I appreciate the opportunity to talk to you. Absolutely. So got a lot of questions for you. Well, let's start with, since I just mentioned NLP and neurolinguistic programming, maybe you can share with us what that is. I think a lot of people have heard of it, but it's always good to kind of get the basics again and what is your perspective about it? Sure, neurolinguistic programming is simply the how your brain stores memories in the form of pictures, words, language. So we all see things, we hear things, we smell things, and our brain stores memories using those senses. So if you would go back and think about, what is the best vacation that you've ever had? And then all of a sudden, like an image of that vacation comes up, maybe it was in the mountains, you can smell the pine trees and whatever. And that's neurolinguistic program works with how those memories are stored. And particularly when those memories are tied to like a limiting belief, and it can help shape, we can shape and change how that language is stored in the brain so we can shape and change the limiting belief. Yeah, that's awesome. And this is one of the tools you use in your coaching practice with clients. And the other thing that I wanna ask you is, you have these kind of very three simple stages that a client goes through, from I think it's from unaware, is that right? Yes, they don't know what they don't know. Yeah, so talk us through these three because I think it's really useful before, for example, before you start, you can start working with them with NLP or other tools. Yeah, so tell us about this. Yeah, so I've looked back at my own life and the journey that I've gone through of growth and I think back, okay, how did that growth unfold? And at every stage, there was a phase where I just simply didn't, I was unaware that something was happening to me or in my life. And then usually pain is the catalyst for change. And so either pain or pleasure, but in my case, a lot of pain. So that pain then caused awareness for me to say, oh, something is not going right for me here. And then based on that awareness, then I had the choice to change or to grow to whatever it was. So I use those stages with my clients. Usually when a client comes to me, they're kind of in that pain of change or they've gone through a lot of change and they're now ready to design the pleasure side of their life or they've gone through that and hey, now I wanna build my dream business or life, whatever it is. So kind of those two phases is where I meet people. But then we work with this idea of, okay, what are we aware of now? And usually in that coaching process, we uncover new things, new limiting beliefs, new things that they weren't aware of, help them become aware so that they can have the power to change. I think that probably most people change based on pain. Because when things are going well, when things are content, contentment can lead to just sort of this status quo and well, why change? Comfortable. Yeah, why change? So I think it is, so your perspective about this, when we encounter a block or a conflict in our lives, tell us, say more about that. What is that signal? So I look at things as a reflection, whatever we're encountering in the outside world is kind of a reflection of what's happening in the inward world. So I actually meet a lot of women on their journey about maybe they are working to develop a business and it hasn't quite going right, or maybe they are looking to have a better relationship with their husband and it's not going quite right. And they think like that's the outward symptom of what's going on, but that outward symptom is usually a reflection of something deeper going on inside of them. A lot of the women that I work with, they've gone through emotional abuse, verbal abuse that stems back to very, very young ages. And it's things that maybe they've even worked with a therapist on it or they've worked with someone on it and they think that, okay, I've got that and taken care of and it's behind me. But yet as they grow forward and want to grow in their life, we dig to new levels in our foundation. And just when we then can be brave enough and courageous enough to look at those things in our foundation and heal from them, then it releases us just really to have unlimited growth in our life and business, whatever that thing is that they're working to create. And it's interesting you bring forth this, some of them have, some of us have experienced therapy and benefited from that. What would be the difference then, would you say between should a person go and see a therapist and when should the person work with you? What's the, yeah. Yeah, that's a great distinction. So therapy is in my perspective, it's someone who's trained to diagnose, they're trained to maybe prescribe something. They have different techniques that they're working with and they will be more of a past focused and digging in from that perspective. Whereas coaching, we're not about diagnosing, we're not about describing, we're all about forward action. So even though, so somebody comes to me when, okay, I'm trying to take some forward action in my life but it's not working, even though the root of that block could be tied to something in the past, we're really all focused on what is it taking to continue to move forward. Sometimes that is healing some of those things from the past but it's in a forward facing manner. If that makes sense versus just kind of turning around and looking at the past and digging back into it. Yeah, yeah, I hear you. So it is something about taking responsibility for our lives. So what, so tell us about that. What is the, that is a, I think that's a key concept now that you're coaching. So why is that important? And are, do most people don't take responsibility for their lives or what does that look like when they're not taking responsibility for their lives? Yeah, I think that a lot of people can get stuck in this game of when things aren't going how they want them to, they look and say, well, if this circumstance wasn't there or if this coworker that I don't like didn't work here, my work environment would be a lot better or if my spouse would just cooperate better with me or if my spouse would go get some things figured out for himself or herself, then life would be so much better. Or when it comes to business, it might be, well, my competitor over here, they have so much money to invest in their business and I don't. So it's looking at things where we almost stay in a victim mode and use those things as excuses to not move forward because we're waiting for something else to change. And by taking 100% responsibility, we say, guess what? I'm in this situation because I chose to be in this situation and I can choose something different. I can choose something different. I can choose to continue to move forward. And there's a lot of power in owning that the circumstances in your life are really solely due to your actions. And of course, there's things we can't control like COVID-19 that come into play. But even with that, we have the choice of how we're gonna respond to it. And you yourself, I mean, you have a story that kind of gives example to the kinds of changes that you help your clients through. Any part of your story that you love sharing? Sure, yeah. Well, I've lived a unique journey where until the age of 15, I and my family belong to an extreme conservative religious organization, probably more defined as a cult. And that really shaped my way from zero to age 15 is when you're just taking in all the things and that you think they're truth, even though they're just someone else's opinion of the truth. And so that really shaped a lot of things for me in life. And at 15, my family left that, we were ex-communicated and shunned by every person in our life. And so at age 15, as a ninth grader in high school, I lost all the connections of everybody, family, friends that was near and dear to me my whole life. And it was a choice that my family had consciously made together because we could see, we had become aware of how controlling the situation and how healthy the situation had been. So we made a choice out of awareness and then made the change. Then I went on to get married at a very young age because that's what I was taught women did, get married, still wasn't completely aware of how it had affected me. And I spent 17 years in a marriage that ended up being a very toxic relationship but gave me three beautiful children. And I was very, again, unaware through a lot of that relationship about the role. I was playing in it the hurts I needed to heal from. My former partner had come from three generations of alcohol addiction. So we kind of had these two hurt people, hurting each other even more. And finally I said, I can't continue to keep my kids in this environment. And I know a lot of people go through divorce, don't do divorce because they think, oh, I have to stay for the kids. Well, I think that's not always the best choice I needed to do it so that my kids had a future of not following in the path of addiction. I was gonna give them every education and chance possible to not follow that. So when I went through divorce, I don't know what awareness came through me whether it wasn't an angel sprinkling some dust on me or something, but something in me said that I have to look into myself to change. If I want to create a different path forward for my kids, I have to look inwardly and take responsibility there. And that really started me on this journey of self growth, of really building my own personal foundation deeper on things like how do I set boundaries? How do I take care of myself? Who am I even as a person? What do I like, what do I like to eat? Because my whole world had been poured into everybody else. So as I began to learn who I was, grow healthier, the seed inside of me really began this desire of beginning wanting to help other women who are going through similar situations that really began to grow in me. And then as I began to live a new life and I discovered I love to travel and travel became a part of my world and taking my kids on new experiences and new adventures. And somewhere in there I got to thinking, you know, it would really be awesome if I could design my work so that I could travel. And I had worked in the corporate environment in the trash industry for a lot of years. I was there 15 years total. I was the first female in a leadership role in a 10 state area with the company. And so I had forged a lot of paths forward in that environment and led a lot of people, developed a lot of people. And so I got to that point of saying, I want to, I love that industry and it supported me well, but I was ready to shift into using my skills and talents where I really felt called to use them. And that led me to, you know, playing with this idea that I can design my own life the way I want it to be. And if somebody had told me that, you know, five or six years before, I would have thought they were crazy. But I began systematically saying, this is what I want to do. This is how I want to develop my business. And here I am several years down the road and, you know, having left the corporate, this year is a, this week is one year celebration of having left the corporate world. And it's been a fun business building journey. So I'm passionate also about helping people go from unaware to the aware, but I'm also passionate about helping them design and build their dream life forward. Cause it's possible. And so many people don't even think it's possible. And maybe you can give us a real quick, what is that outline of that journey? I mean, someone says, okay, yes, I would like to have a dream. I mean, I would like to manifest the life of my dreams. And what does that look like? How do you help them facilitate that? Yeah, so it really starts with that, with looking at what is that dream? What is their passion? And it's looking at, I'd say five areas of life. So looking at your physical world around you, your emotional world, which is your relationships, your mental world, which is your thinking, and then your financial world, which is your career, your business, or how you're preparing for retirement for the next step. And that's all tied together by your spiritual world, which is that connection to your own strong inner guidance system, your own intuition, and then even beyond that to the divine relationship that we have. So we look at those areas and say, what do you want your life to look at? Like if life was ideal, what would it look like in these areas? And then we begin saying, okay, where are you at now? And then we make a plan to say, here's where you're at now. What are we gonna do to get to the next step and to the next step? While holding this bigger vision, but allowing flexibility in how we get there. So holding that bigger vision and always continuing to take steps towards that bigger vision. Awesome, thank you. And you have an online course that's coming up that I want people to know about. It's called the Ignite Your Life Foundation Building Series. Ignite Your Life Foundation Building Series. And Life Foundation, what does that mean for you? What kind of work are you gonna be doing in this online course with students? Yeah, these are like the key skills that we should be taught in life, but so many of us are not taught. So they're the things like so many women in my marketplace, they pour themselves into other people over helping. So one of the things we're gonna be looking at is when is helping really helping and when is helping hurting yourself or even hurting others. So that's a really key skill to learn to protect your own energy and resources and to take care of yourself. So that's one example. We're gonna be looking at boundary setting. What do I allow into my world? What's healthy in my world? And what do I wanna say? No, I don't want this in my world anymore. Values, like what are the key things that are super important to you? Most people haven't taken the time to think about what are your values? But when we really dig down and understand values, those are the things that guide our lives and they help us make decisions. Like, do we want this thing in our life or not? When we know our values, we can easily say, does this match up to our values or does it not? And then expectations. So on one hand, we hold other people to a lot of our expectations and that causes a lot of problems. And then on the other hand, we really set expectations for ourselves really low when we have the potential to really excel to greater expectations. So when we're gonna be looking at expectations from two different perspectives of how not to place our expectations on other people, but then how to in a healthy way, raise our own expectations so that we can create more room for growth in our life. So all those key skills, communication, of course, weaves through all of them. But when you have those skills in place, you can get off of what I call this emotional roller coaster. A lot of people live on an emotional roller coaster where the relationship drama goes from here to here or maybe it's drama at work or whatever it is. And when we learn these foundation building skills, it helps us to speak up, to take care of ourselves who really own what we want in need. And it raises our level of confidence and how we walk through life and can lower that to drama down a lot. That's awesome. So I will put the link in the notes of the video. So be sure those of you watching this to check it out. So this is sounds like a really important, well foundational series for women to have the kind of the strong basis to then go forward and achieve their destiny. And that's another course that you are gonna be teaching coming up is about kind of now springboarding into the destiny part of it, which could be their own business or whatever it may be. So tell us a bit about that second stage. Sure, that's a cohort that's gonna start in June and I am calling it Launch Your Greatest Destiny. And I love the Eiffel Tower. I use the Eiffel Tower as a lot of different examples in my work. But the base of the Eiffel Tower is built, there's four pillars of it. And so in this Launch Your Destiny course, we're gonna be looking at the four pillars of someone from a business building perspective. What do they need in place to launch that dream forward? And those are the client enrollment, marketing their services and then kind of their business structures. So it's gonna be a six month journey, a small group journey where you get to work with a group of like-minded people on really putting these foundational skills in place and continually moving forward. I have something I've designed called the prosperity game for new entrepreneurs where when you're not earning money in on a regular basis, sometimes it's hard to identify like the work that I'm doing today, how does it translate into dollars tomorrow? And so I've developed this prosperity game where they get to kind of pay themselves for the different things they do and it helps you be consistent when you're business building and to see that, okay, if I continue doing these things, it will bring me real dollars in the future. So it's kind of a fun aspect it'll bring into that six month cohort. That's awesome. And so some people might be watching this in the future and so just be sure to contact Vicky to find out when the Life Foundation series is starting next or the business building series. So Vicky, thank you so much for the work that you do and your clients are lucky to work with you to have you in their life. And you also of course do one to one work with people as well. You do have these online courses but you do one to one virtually. Of course, these days it's all virtual. Yes, it's all virtual. So thank you so much. Is there any kind of words to send us off and in that good direction? Well, the words that I wanna just leave you with is when you become fearless, you become limitless. And it really is true that when we can work through, fear is somewhat of a normal part of life but when we continue to move through it and see that it's not the block then we really can become limitless and what we can accomplish. Yeah, and that's the name of your business, Transcending Limits. The website is www.tslimits, like transcending, tslimits.com. Of course, I'll have all the links to the series programs or websites in the link, the notes of the video. So Vicky, thanks again. And I hope those who are watching this will reach out to you. Thank you, George. Thanks for having me here today. Thanks.