 Hello there. It's Thursday at noon. I know it is. Do you remember our arrangement? Thursdays at noon on CFUV. Are you ready to get started? What do you have in mind? What I want to do now is called First Person Plural. You make it sound excessively attractive. That's what I have in mind. A movie titled after my favorite treat was a must-see for me. Of course, a chance to see Johnny Depp on the big screen didn't hurt either. So I went to see Chocolat last year in Winnipeg, mostly for the sheer pleasure. I was pleasantly surprised to find the movie had substance as well as sensuality. I heard she was some kind of radical. I heard she's a racist. What's that? Don't know. Vien and her daughter Anouk are travelers, descendants of Mayan women who are destined to follow the North Wind from place to place, never settling down. Vien's father married such a woman when he was in Mexico and against all advice brought her back to France. After Vien was born, her mother felt the North Wind and left her husband taking Vien with her. Vien carried on the tradition taking Anouk from town to town opening a Chocolaterie in each town using ancient Mayan ingredients that not only satisfied the sweet tooth but also cured the body and soul. But invariably Vien felt the North Wind again and packed up and left taking Anouk with her. Rue is also a traveler, a river rat who lives with a community of boat people who drift from town to town selling what they can to stay alive. I should probably warn you. You make friends with us and make enemies with others. Like Vien, Rue finds it difficult to stay in one place. And like Vien, Rue enjoys a life filled with sensual pleasures. The river rats are gypsy-like in their expressions of freedom and mobility and their love of music and dance. The town where Vien and Rue meet is a small Catholic town under the watchful, controlling eye of Comte-Renault. The presence of strangers, especially non-Catholic strangers during Lent is disturbing to the Comte and what disturbs the Comte disturbs the town. Opening a Chocolaterie just in time for Lent. Oh yes, it does seem inappropriate. The stage is set in this mix for everyone to learn a life lesson and the comedic love story is quite predictable but enjoyable and beautiful to watch nonetheless. There are several other plots entwined with the love story of Vien and Rue and their problems with the Comte but the interactions of these strangers with the town piqued my sociological imagination the most. The advertisements for the movie declare it a comedic fable set in an old-fashioned buttoned-up community in France in 1859. The ads go on to say it might as well be 1859 because of the backward ways in which the town views those different from them. After watching the European elections this spring I thought the fable could be set in 2002. Fear of strangers is back in vogue and the implications of this fear are staggering and tragic. Jörg Hader of Austria, Flemish block of Belgium Pia Jarsgard of Denmark Jean-Marie Le Pen of France Mekus Voridis of Greece Humberto Basi and Giafranco Fini of Italy Carl Hagen of Norway Paul Portas of Portugal Christoph Blocker of Switzerland Nick Griffin of the United Kingdom and three key right-wing parties in Germany have made varying but significant gains in the governments of their respective countries over the past few years and their popularity seems to be growing. One of the reasons for the growth and popularity of these extremists is that more Europeans are expressing fear of immigrants in general and Muslims in particular. Add to the list the recently assassinated Pym Fortun whose pitting of gays against Muslims rocked the usually tolerant Netherlands. Fortun's version of right-wing politics differed from most of the rest of Europe but his party tapped into a fear of strangers with its anti-immigration stance winning 26 parliamentary seats even after Fortun was gunned down apparently by an animal rights extremist angered because of Fortun's stance on furriers. Why bring up the dismal political escape of Europe in a review of Chocolat? The culture of this tranquil French town has an historic context that set up the fear and suspicion in ultimate acts of hatred that drove the storyline. The theme is an old one in Europe and the Catholic Church has been central to this fear. She's laughing at us. Laughing at our traditions. When are you going to do something about it? Long before the Nazis killed 6 million Jews and asserted the supremacy of the Aryan race the so-called quote Jewish question close quote was debated in Europe. The current anti-immigrant debates have much the same flavor. During the Middle Ages the official position of the Holy Roman Empire was that the Jews were to blame for the crucifixion. Jewish refusal to convert to Christianity was not only a sign of their sinfulness but a sign of their antagonism to Christianity and their lack of political allegiance to Catholic rulers. With the advent of the Crusades in 106 which is the first time Europe feared Muslims the position of the Jews became extremely dangerous forcing many Jewish communities into isolation and obscurity in addition mists of Jewish terrorism aimed at Christians abounded creating fear and prejudice and lack of an official position in society carried over into Protestant Europe as well. In the early 19th century things changed. A belief in religious freedom in the separation of church and state an acceptance of Judaism as a religion and not just an ethnic identity and a desire to access Jewish resources into the greater community and greater economy led to their emancipation throughout Europe. After emancipation Jews did begin to assimilate to the greater culture though very slowly and with great debate among themselves and that assimilation created a backlash of prejudice and resentment towards Jews. This tension between the desire to assimilate and the desire to protect ethnic identity led to a Jewish intellectual class in Europe with two faces the assimilated Jew who played down his Jewishness in favor of his education and the Jewish scholar who reclaimed lost understandings of Jewish religious teachings. In addition to an intellectual class a Jewish bourgeoisie emerged including shopkeepers and artisans. Among this class were traveling merchants, traders. European communities in the 19th century were discovering each other most Europeans to that point have been tied to their land in some way industrialization led to the need to open up new markets. Jews were not allowed to own land for the most part in European history and while they had ties to their communities they seemed more willing to travel them many other Europeans. Thus it was Jews who took jobs that sent them from town to town to open up markets for products produced in major industrial centers. They were the classic middlemen who sold manufactured products to retail merchants for distribution to consumers. The study of strangers is a sociological phenomenon stemmed from concepts such as Karl Marx's alienation and Emil Durkheim's social enemy. But the first sociologist to directly discuss the archetypal stranger was Georg Zimmel, a Jew who was never offered a position at university despite his obvious scholarship and his popularity as a salon speaker among the intellectuals in Berlin. Each of these concepts possesses economic roots. Marx's alienation originated in the separation of the worker from the product of his labor. Durkheim describes enemy in terms of dysfunctional methods of dividing labor. Zimmel's stranger moved from town to town working as a trader. While Zimmel did not invent the sociological archetype of the stranger he expressed the meaning of the stranger profoundly. More important, he did not see the stranger is alienated and unsocial in the sense that Marx did. Instead he asserted that the position of the stranger someone who was both distant and near brought an important element to relationships with others by virtue of his unique position. Both Vien and Rue possess this distance and nearness in Chocolat. It is their strangeness that divides the town and creates tensions as the seasons of lint progresses. Lack of respect for the fasting season by selling the wonderful confections and dancing on the riverboats demonstrate to Comte how holy his quest is to rid his town of these pagans. But Vien and Rue were part of what helped the town figure out its own character. The presence of a stranger drew the lines clearly and it is no accident that it is the town's misfits that take to the strangers more easily than those who are vested in the town's culture. Most notably among these misfits is Josephine whose husband's cruelty has led her to kleptomania and mannerisms boarding on Schizophrenic. Her strangeness is accepted as part of the town culture because she stays in her proper place with her husband. Vien's kindness to Josephine frees her to leave her husband and seek refuge from the town's culture and her husband's cruelty. This act is the beginning of change in the whole culture and atmosphere of the town. Josephine's symptoms become gray as the comp realizes that Josephine has suffered right under his nose. The illusion of his control and the town's tranquility begins to break down. At first the comp tries to regain control through reforming Josephine's husband and driving out the strangers Vien and Rue. But these efforts eventually backfire. The position of the strangers offers an objectivity on the true nature of the town and having seen itself through the eyes of others the town changes questioning its very foundations. This is a time of abstinence, reflection above all a time of sincere penitence. This quote objective closed quote position of the stranger and its usefulness in the social system of a culture is one of the positive social aspects of the stranger archetype according to Zimmel. Strangers are defined as strangers because they are different from us. And when we define who a stranger is we define who we are in the process. The stranger is far from antisocial or non-social. It is a necessary concept in order to form a cohesive group. We have to know who we are not in order to know who we are. We can force them to understand they are not welcome. The problem is that these attempts of us and them can lead to a marginalization of strangers. The river people were not only them, but they were regarded as a dangerous them and boycotted and excluded from commerce for being them. Robert E. Park coined the term marginalization in 1928 in his essay Human Migration in the Marginal Man concerned with the question how races and cultures quote evolve Park looked to migration and not biological evolution as the key to quote processes by which new relationships have been established between men quote. Park moved the narrow view of the stranger into a broader context which could include every person at some time in his or her life because we all experience quote periods of the transition and crisis in the lives of most of us that are comparable with those which the immigrant experiences when he leaves home to seek his fortunes in a strange country In the 1970s Everett C.U.'s continued Park's work by expanding the concept through analyzing marginality quote from the angle of status quote. In status we find identity in our culture in a very real way culture and society meet in an individual status quote status is a term of society in that it refers specifically to a system of relationships between people but the definition of status lies in a culture close quote. By looking at marginality through the lens of status use expands the concept beyond the traveler or migrant who intrudes on a social situation In our society the contact of cultures races and religions combines with social mobility to produce an extraordinary number of people who are marginal in some degree who have some conflict of identity in their own minds and who find some parts of the social world which they would like to enter closed to them or open only at the expense of some treason to things and people they hold dear. This sets up a kind of inner conflict for strangers. How far must we go in changing our beliefs and identities in order to be accepted by others way to give it down but with these narrow might to finish this thing. Chocolat ends with both Vien and Rue settling down in the town that they have changed. Not only does the town change by expanding its definition of us to include people who are from different backgrounds but the strangers change as well. Rue leaves the river and his people to return to Vien and Anouk. Vien scatters her mother's ashes in the north wind as a symbol of her decision to no longer listen to her mother's voice or follow her mother's ways. Something she believed was in her hereditary makeup at the beginning of the movie. Both characters for sake a part of themselves in order to belong to each other and to the town. These negotiations between strangers and friends take on great importance in the context of horrors like the holocaust. The extent to which we succumb to the fear of the other we set up despots who would lead us to such horrors. Since most of us have been the stranger as well as belong to a group I am reminded of Martin Niemuller's famous quote about the Nazis which he gave in response to a student's question How could it happen? Quote First they came for the communists but I was not a communist so I did not speak out. Then they came for the socialist and the trade unionists but I was neither so I did not speak out. Then they came for the jews but I was not a jew so I did not speak out. And when they came for me there was no one left to speak out for me. Close quote Chocolat offers a wonderful meditation on how strangers affect our lives and how the ways we define ourselves and others needs to be reexamined on a regular basis in order to not descend into xenophobic prejudices and hatred it is a timely fable and one that perhaps should be required viewing for us and our leaders in an increasingly fearful world what better than chocolate to bring the world together You're listening to First Person Plural on CFUV Victoria's Public Radio 101.9 FM 104.3 cable and on the internet CFUV.uvig.ca Giving sociology an edge! 87 year old Victoria resident Amra Allen has told her story in a book she self-published with the help of her son It is a mundane story in many ways As a young girl she enjoys an active social life and the attention of young men She falls in love with a man who turns out not to share her feelings She settles for another suitor and marries him knowing that she does not fully love him They have two children a son and then a daughter What makes Amra's story different is that she is a Canadian living in Hitler's Germany married to an SS soldier In her naivete she doesn't heed the warnings of war and must stay in Germany until 1945 Recently, at her home she graciously read for me Chapter 3 from her book where she relates how she sealed her fate by ignoring the impending war The girl who never listened On March 1938, Bill my brother and his wife Margaret came to Germany with a type of executive club Bill was a geologist and worked for large oil companies finding places to drill oil wells They looked me up and introduced me to several people I was to return to Canada with them but there was a chance for me to study further in Munich so I was allowed to stay on I should have listened to Bill who urged me to go home However, I insisted on staying mainly because of my infatuation for Yonni We had never lived together but we were such good friends and I really loved him and thought he loved me too Soon after my brother left I received an invitation to a musical evening at Professor Claimens-Schmalsz-Tisch's home My brother had introduced me to him I was just about to throw the invitation out when my aunt Paula yelled Don't throw that away! Professor Schmalsz-Tisch is an important person He conducts the Berlin Symphony Orchestra and teaches at the Berlin High School of Music and his wife is a concert singer You really must go So I got all dressed up in a fuchsia-coloured taffeta dress with one shoulder left there I had designed and made the dress at home and was happy to have an opportunity to wear it After the Schmalsz-Tisch home I greeted warmly and introduced all around We sat in the beautiful music room and it was delightful, except that I was sitting on a satin-covered straight back chair My taffeta dress made me constantly slip off and I had to try hard not to fall off Also, that darn dress made loud rustling noises At least I was very conscious of the sounds I was so embarrassed and imagined all the guests heard the sounds too Suddenly the door directly opposite me opened and there stood a tall, handsome man in an SS uniform As this is my first mention of SS, I will explain The title of SS stands for Schutzstaffel Their common name There was also the Waffen SS Guides of Ghettoes and Concentration Camps Nazi stormtroopers were called SA or Brownshirts which was their common name Police were also Nazis They were all Nazis Handsome man in a striking SS uniform was Siegmund Schmalsz-Tisch the Professor's son After the music there were refreshments including champagne I really liked Professor Schmalsz-Tisch best of all the people present He sat beside me and treated me very cordially It was great I felt that it was an honor to be chosen There was lots of champagne Professor Schmalsz-Tisch told me that the famous composer Pavritsky had been his teacher and that Pavritsky had a bathtub with colored lights so that he could see himself in several colors Imagine that, isn't that Absolutely nuts He surely must have liked himself I wonder if he had a favorite color Professor and Mrs. Schmalsz-Tisch had three children Inge, Clemens and Siegmund They were all born five years apart Inge had been married before I met the family Clemens had also been married prior to our meeting and had a terrible case of infantile paralysis Siegmund played the accordion and loved to draw pictures illustrations for books, etc Professor Schmalsz-Tisch was a composing and opera which was later performed in Hamburg to hear it I later learned that Herr Professor Schmalsz-Tisch had a Jewish mistress whom he helped escape from Germany Frau Professor Lisse Schmalsz-Tisch was a concert singer I was very fortunate to hear lots of operas and concerts which I thoroughly enjoyed Frau Professor Schmalsz-Tisch also had cats, simies, purgions, etc They were each confined to their own room in the bathroom That one walked around the tub when someone was using these facilities in her domain Siegmund took a shine to me and we went out quite often He had a car which made it easy to get around I mentioned the car because not many people owned one My uncle Paul owned one Yoni also had one and Siegmund had one There were also strange looking cars with only three wheels or long rides all over Berlin However, he was an SS man and was away a lot with few leaves from the army so I did not get to know him very well At the time I didn't know the SS was associated with the worst of Hitler's regime and to me it just meant that Siegmund was in the army He was a private whose duties included being a sort of messenger He rode a motorcycle while on duty Although his schedule did not allow at any time Siegmund and I would go to dances and parties when he was home One evening we were invited to a party at a diplomat's home in the country That gentleman had visited my family and me in Ottawa Because gas for the car was unavailable due to rationing we took a streetcar to the party I had a wonderful time and was a real flirt making Siegmund jealous I loved to do that Jealousy was called being sofa He always was The schedule for the streetcar changed to shorter routes in the evening but I did not know that but Siegmund did He finally suggested we should leave I didn't want to go but he said again we must go still we remained I was all dressed up and was wearing spike heels When we finally left we had a long, long way to walk I took off my shoes Boy was I mad Siegmund simply said I warned you So if you write I guess I just never listened and should have I must say that at the party we drank wine and someone told a joke I was laughing so hard that when I put the crystal glass down on the table the stem broke I was very embarrassed Later on I was telling someone about this and my goodness I put the wine glass I was using on the table and that stem broke too Now I'm very careful wine glasses must be properly handled Siegmund had leave off and on and when he was in Berlin we went out a lot he was an excellent dancer it was there that I really learned the Viennese waltz dancing with him Gradually Siegmund became very fond of me and eventually asked me to marry him I was not ready for marriage in any way I wanted to go home to Canada one day even feeling the way I felt for Yoni I hadn't said much about Yoni and what and where we went because he had a little free time away from the theater and I had a very busy act of social life Amra you can't walk with Ursula anymore my Aunt Paula said to me one day quite without warning Why? Why can't I walk with her I said astounded that's when Paula told me that Ursula was part of the Jewish I felt really awful especially as our family had been raised not to discriminate against race creed or color one person was as good as another so I had to tell Ursula it was extremely difficult to do but she understood at once and I never saw her again how can I explain my feelings when I had to tell Ursula I couldn't walk with her it was absolutely against my feeling I was so embarrassed later I found out how dangerous and potentially deadly it was to be Jewish or part Jewish even associating with a Jew it spelled disaster it was scary this was the second sign of how the holocaust affected me personally and I was upset and fearful holocaust I did not learn about that word until after I got out of Germany I had to discriminate against Ursula because she was part Jewish and that was not the way I had been brought up being a civilian it was hard to realize or understand that according to Hitler Jews were an inferior race and could not be tolerated in Germany one had to be a perfect Aryan even if people did not know what Hitler's plans were they knew that when a Jew or part Jew was taken away he never came back marriage between Jew and Gentile was forbidden even before the war the generals and SS knew what was taking place so did the aristocrats but not the general public that is the truth I am sure you will find this hard to believe I think I finished my school courses in Berlin soon after the incident with Ursula and was scheduled to begin studying at a school in Munich and was a very expensive school and I had to get certification from home to prove that I had dual citizenship and thus was entitled to reduced fees I also had trouble finding cheaper rooms because my accent gave me away but I solved that by going in with another student when people heard my English accent they would charge me more for rent I guess they thought I was a rich American soon after arriving in Munich and starting my classes my mouth became very sore and I went to a dentist I was told that all my fillings had to be taken out and gold fillings put in well you can imagine how the price of that scared me you see there again the price was exorbitant probably on account of my accent I called my parents and quoted the three quarters of the price mother called me back and said that father was on his way to Berlin oh gee was I ever delighted to learn this and flew back to Berlin to meet him I felt like a lost soul finding home again what a glorious feeling to see my father what a surprise it was I hugged and kissed my wonderful father I was so overjoyed to see him he took me to another dentist and we learned the cause of my discomfort was only a gum infection thank goodness the first dentist didn't get away with what he wanted to do in reality father had come to take me home Paula got on her knees and begged him to leave me there with her she said that at first a young girl was forced on her and she did not want one after all this time however she had gotten used to having me around and to take me away was not fair so again I was allowed to stay I should have listened to my father today I cannot understand why father acquiesced to Paula because he knew better than I did what lay in store in fact before I even left home in Ottawa he took one of those small match boxes lit a match held it under the max box and said this is Germany so it was not entirely my fault that I remained there I did not know what lay in store why did my parents send me to Germany they must have known that war was inevitable war did they what did the rest of the world know upon my return to Canada I did not ask them I guess I felt it would not be right to ask after all the worry and suffering they went through and all they had done for me father was travelling on a diplomatic passport and could not stay long in Germany he was on official business he had to leave all too soon and shortly after his departure there was a hint of war in the Danzig corridor but what young girl reads newspapers besides I was in Berlin and the Danzig corridor was so far away I just felt the war was in Danzig and would remain there with no thought the possibility of a world war how many times have there been wars that could have started world wars people think it won't happen here and that's what I thought however I was definitely wrong and suddenly it did happen soon after dad wrote letters telling me to come home I didn't there was not listening again and he wrote again and again go to Haan go to Switzerland go go go not me get out of there I was in love I did not realize what it meant how was I to know war would last for years I remembered writing dad and telling him about Joni my family was well acquainted with the German ambassador to Canada and when he was recalled to Germany he came and knocked on Paula's door and said get out of Germany but I refused ditto not listening absolutely bemused ambassadors wife wanted to go to Italy and wanted me to go with her and then on to Canada even then after the embassy was recalled how could she think that one could go to Italy as it turned out we couldn't get out of Germany anyway it was too late I was so in love we couldn't bear to leave Joni I had written dad so he would understand and I certainly did not know there would be a world war it was still only in the dancing corridor as far as I was concerned now I know that when an ambassador is recalled it really means war or something very serious I was down to my last chance the Canadian embassy wrote and said this was my final opportunity to leave but I could not escape my love for Joni Hitler-detained war in 1939 the door slam shook and there was no way out you're listening to First Person Plural on CFUV 101.9 FM Victoria I first met Amra Allen at her garage sale it was a bright sunny Saturday morning and she was sitting on her walker she and her neighbors were having a fairly typical Victoria garage sale except that Amra was also selling her book Torn A True Story the next time I met Amra Allen we sat in her home and talked about how life went from young girls dreams of parties and suitors to a young mother's nightmare of escaping the bombing of Berlin with her two children on a displaced persons train and we talked about how life has been since those dark days of war what made you decide to write it down well somewhere in here I had when I got home I guess they all asked me to write about it you see and then I didn't do the first chapter I just did this little bit here but then they said I better let people know who I am you know so I did that first chapter and but see I don't type all do I hand that's right you hand wrote all of those things I wrote things here on another piece of paper and I just quit it was just too damn much was it hard to write about it because it was emotional yes because it was a hard memory to go back to yes and there are still things that I do not remember how I ever did it especially on the D.P. train when I got off it finally because it was so horrible I just got off that train now I had no money I had no way of getting money nobody knew where I was you had your two kids with you two kids and I got off the train and I had to get the kids clean so I had to find a place that would accept me did you tell your kids the story I mean I guess your son might have been old enough to remember some of this I never had very much time to talk over this with him my father took him to someone that checks up the ability of a child at one time he was in grade 3 and he should have been in grade 5 and he never finished grade school but he became an electronics engineer he went to the dockyard and said I want to be an electronics engineer well I mean finished grade 12 what are you talking about I'm going to be an electronics engineer he said well there's three years of study he said well give me the third book and he read it and he got 98% well and he became what he wanted and he's in the states and now he published this book for you does he publish other books or is this something that he just put together just to do your story this is the second printing it's really the third one you were selling them at a yard sale do you do that often that was the first time not before but I used to go to the Salvation Army in Bowell and I had all these friends and so I said hey do you want to read this book I thought some of them right away just sitting there since your son and you didn't talk about the story when he was young at what point did you finally tell him this story and he said let's put it together in a book so somebody you gave this to someone and they typed it up that was the first time that he heard this story and when you sent him the disk was he planning on putting it together in a book at that point you were going to get to sit beside me and listen to this and type it out I mean I just couldn't when did you tell your daughter this story did she just read the book and find out the story that way yeah you see when they were little here in Canada they were going to school they were learning to speak English they were you know Amra had a number of letters and book reviews people have sent her about the book she shared several of them with me including one written by a friend who was in Germany at the same time she was enjoyed your amazing book Marty is reading it too you must have taken notes along the way to help you remember those names I didn't people, towns, homes, etc. you did a great job these are just things that I kept because I think it's important when I got bombed out I lost everything I didn't make my address book with me I didn't take any pictures I didn't take a camera I took what I had to take so that I had no addresses and I imagine after the war it was hard finding especially the Germans that you knew and at one time a friend of ours was going to that area of Germany where my uncle lived and I said will you please try and look up this name Baron von Leerlitz and he did and he had died but all the other people I can't get a hold of them see the only way I could contact my father like when parents when the war started and you couldn't write only in your own zone like there were four zones well I managed to have somebody in Norway that I wrote to and they sent it on so you were able to communicate some with your parents during the war? just for a short while and that was gone too and everything stopped when you got back to Canada finally which was right after the war you were one of the first to get out of Germany but it took ten months in England did you come to Ottawa the book indicates I think you actually made it out to Victoria well first I was in Montreal where the boat landed and I had a brother there and my sister came to Montreal to meet me and my two brothers and my sister my other sister was in the hospital having a baby in Ottawa she probably would have come too so we stayed for three days in Montreal three days in Ottawa and that was September the 22nd and niece was born there on that date and then we went to Victoria on a coach with a suite so I had a bathroom and a toilet and a wash basin and this is with your kids? that was very nice and then we went all across Canada that way they met me at the boat in Victoria did you decide to come to Victoria? because my father had retired he was the first botanist Canada ever had he built all the research stations all across Canada that's why he knew the Russian ambassador he knew the German ambassador he knew the Canadian commissioner he knew everybody he was an important well-known man and because he had that kind of influence that's what helped you get out of Germany definitely without your father's influence you could have just as easily been defined as a German I didn't have a passport anymore I didn't take my passport it was bombed out do you have a new passport with you? not right this minute we're home and it's not there anymore so I had nothing you never remarried? I did remarry here in Canada and then I had one daughter so you have another child living in Vancouver my son is 62 now did you go back did you do any designing or anything like that? I designed for the admiral's wife in the dockyard and you see I had learned pattern drafting so I take your measurement okay I can make and I take my book and I draw out exactly what you want I even chose the material and I just could have made that dress and it would get you right away but I always went in for a fitting so I get down to the dockyard you know and stop the car at the gate where's your pass? I said I don't have one I said just film Mrs. Landymore and tell her that I can't come in and do the fitting and it happened and then after she left she said the only thing she wanted but she said came her name to the next admiral's wife so I did that and I did that for doctor's wife I mean if you would form me up I put an ad in the paper I have not gunwheel travel but I have a portable machine wheel travel and that's how I started if you only wanted to have a hem done dress shortened you'd never see me again I did this on and that's what I did and I became quite famous You were in Victoria all of that time or did you? Yes I had a very big table for my pattern doing some stuff I had everything out of my home Tell me why you called the book torn Well because I was torn between staying there and coming home I was just torn like I wrote in the book but sometimes I felt like jumping off the sidewalk and getting run over you know because it was so horrible it was so horrible and I was torn between the love of the union and he never married me I understand him because when I applied for that job at the munitions at the munitions Well what turned out to be a munitions factor When I applied for that and didn't go the FS called me in and oh it was so scared this high off the table I was so frightened I hadn't done anything wrong he said you applied for this job and I couldn't remember because he said I was doing fashion design and everything else oh yes I do remember and he said well you're a trader in the munitions factor how would you like that to happen I said get married in two weeks because he wanted to marry me he really did love me and I learned to love him but when I went to Yoni and I said I'm going to be interned after getting married he said he wouldn't but you did stay in touch with him he won't be up until I guess when he died about 79 I think but he never said he loved me and he just liked to keep in touch you know I send cards or something like that but I never phoned him were the things that you really loved about Germany was it only him that kept you torn or I had traveled very much in Germany and all the people like I was visiting relatives and I went over and they were all wonderful to me and one last question there's a lot of fear right now after what happened in September in the states and there's a lot of talk of war now are there similar feelings well when you were in Germany and you wanted to get out the same way you're in Canada you wanted to get out or vice versa but you couldn't get them to be that way here but on the other hand somebody says you don't need a passport you need just your driver's license to get to the states but I don't know how true that is I don't quote traveling anymore that is very much like it was and the threat you see it's in the United States it's not going to happen in little old Victoria it's the same feeling it's not going to happen here there's nothing worth blowing up maybe you know compared to the bigger cities in Canada even Vancouver might get it but we would feel safer that's the way I felt that it was not going to be anything like it now it could happen that it's a war but people always when I talk about it they always poo poo it because it's not going to happen but what about now look at it that war was starting in one place look at how it is spread already if it comes to that and you have to go through what we went through in Berlin the first thing is that you had to be off the street mm-hmm you had to go into any place in your home some of these home you had they couldn't keep you out they didn't and another thing was the treatment of the Jewish people mm-hmm they'd come into your home get out and you were allowed to take a bag with you what for? and people knew that like that one time when I was going to school and I saw the stores all broken and Jew written all over them mm-hmm what a feeling to get that but it was frightening and I think back when I was onboard ship and everybody was getting off but me where are you going? I said I'm going to Germany I said well I'm going there so they knew already you know why did my parents send me there I mean why did they I never asked them of course I was only safe for a month they warned me to come my father came to take me home my brother came to take me home you know why didn't they just turn me over and smash me I mean I could have gone home I could have gone home and if we wanted to get married if you only wanted to marry me I could have come back you know or something what was better was hard up did anything else as exciting you know just I've always had a lot of fun fun as I told you I was a flirt and you know even today they say I don't look my age and I don't act it and I could have guys in fact this whole household said well if there's a guy working here he'll talk to Amber the name of the book is Torned a true story to get a copy of Amber Allen's book you can contact her directly in Victoria at area code 250 382-8168 or call us here at CFUV 721-8700 and we'll give you that information again you have been listening to first person plural because how people get along with each other still matters first person plural is a show created for community radio by Carl Wilkerson and Dr. Patty Thomas to examine social and organizational issues music for first person plural is performed composed and produced by Carl Wilkerson except where noted for more information about first person plural Dr. Patty Thomas or Carl Wilkerson visit our website www.culturalconstructioncompany.com or email us at fpp at culturalconstructioncompany.com