 All right, so in this episode of mine pump we interview an individual not super well known at the moment But he reached out to us a while ago and you know We get a lot of people that reach out to us want to get on the show and nine out of ten times We turn them down, but this guy's story intrigued us a little bit He's been on a couple of podcasts that are good friends of ours both rich roll and Tom bill you and I thought he had A really good story too. Yeah, and so you know I got on the phone with them before we did you know decided to have him on the show and I talked to him and His story was was compelling. I think a lot of you are gonna relate to his experiences through fitness this guy Had a real rough childhood eventually went to prison for drugs and Fitness kind of turned his life around And he's a very he's a very vulnerable honest Individual I enjoyed I enjoyed doing this interview. I think you'll like it as well He also wrote three books the first one being from felony to fitness to free The second book was the heart of recovery and his third book is faith family fitness. So here we go You you have an interesting story Doug I know I how did you get in contact with us initially to get on the show? I think it was you that contacted our Was our media team I reached out to Doug actually on Instagram Oh, I was just like who would I pitch because what happened was when I got on impact theory of my buddy Clay who has been listening to your guys podcast for a while. He's like you should try to get on my pump Mm-hmm, and I was like I know it's just and then when I saw the Franco go on and he I've been following him I was like wow I should try to just see and I just when I looked at who you had on to see if it would like even be a fit because I was just like but I saw you had had other guests besides just like You know seasoned trainers on sure so I saw like that you had other people on here that I was like Hey, you know, it's like Doug. Did you my name's Doug? That's my in Did you is it because you haven't been a trainer very long so you thought I want to make sure I can provide value or yeah Because I mean as far as like my I mean I know my stuff is a trainer, but like as far as like exercise science and physiology and kinesiology like you know I'm not the most seasoned person Yeah, when I saw I was in a fuck I would never do that with trainer stuff, but that's not fair that would be that would be bullying Yeah, yeah, so so the tibial tuberosity how did you No, we're not gonna go no So what typically what happens and maybe the audience should know this is typically we'll get we get a lot of requests to get on our podcast and Nine out of ten times we say no and every once in a while. It looks interesting enough For one of us usually me to get on the phone with the person and just see if it would provide value for the audience or whatever and your story Was interesting it was a bit it was an interesting story I would like for you to kind of get into it a little bit and then we'll ask you questions I guess as we go along because it was an interesting story about the whole your whole journey and Why you're in fitness now in the first while you started doing drugs by the age of 14. Is that right? Yeah, I mean my life was in shambles, man. I mean I was battling all kinds of insecurities and doubts and anxiety and depression and What did it for me was I wanted to figure out how I could escape myself in whatever way I could when I started smoking pot I felt like that escape come to life and I felt like it numbed whatever fears I had any kind of You know insecurities that I had had about myself was like wow I can be myself and not worry about anything and then one hit led to the next and then Slowly, but surely I developed a habit where I was doing it daily and then as we know like drugs aren't cheap So when you're 14 years old making, you know, five hours an hour washing dishes or doing whatever I was doing I had to figure out a way to support my habit. So that was for me selling and I found a way to to sell and Be able to smoke for free and then you know got to the point where through high school I was picked on I was bullied a lot I was often told like I had downs in there because I was quite a bit heavier than I am now and it just made my insecurities and Depression and my self-esteem so much worse That my addiction to the pot grew to the point where I couldn't even smoke to get high anymore I mean by the time I graduated high school was smoking like a quarter ounce a pot a day just ripping bong hits Wow Wow Did you have any friends during this period? You could kind of work, you know confide in or were you feeling lonely? I'm just getting picked on I mean I had my my my group of friends, but I was always like the laughing stock, right? I was always like the scapegoat the kid who got picked on out of my friends So I mean I had a friend or two I could confide in but again, it was like I was so unhappy with myself That it didn't really matter because my bro grew up in a broken home My parents are divorced and you know through that I developed all these insecurities and was playing the victim mentality You know, it's just like you know why me why this happening to me why my parents divorced? Why am I getting picked on you only child or you had siblings? I had siblings too, but we were all kind of In the thick of it and I think at the end of the day what happened Was I was the oldest so when they got divorced that was five And so I just happened to be the one who like saw a lot of the stuff happening because my brothers We're all closer in age, but I was like the one who just started experimenting with shit really early Did you live with your mom? Was it did your dad come out of your life at this point? Were they both still pretty involved? I mean they were both Pretty involved and we split time it was weird though because they were constantly fighting for custody over over us as we grew up which I'm sure happens obviously a lot with divorced families and So they were both pretty involved. I would say I as the more I smoked I didn't my relationship with my parents got more strained because they were like, you know Why are you doing this? You're you know, why are you smoking pot? Why are you doing this instead of looking? You know, they looked at the fact that I was doing it versus like the why I mean I just had a lot of crap going on inside of me that I never wanted to deal with And as a teenager, it's it's obviously hard And then when I graduated high school, I I started like snorting cocaine and that really like I've had anxiety my whole life and Anxiety and cocaine go about as well together as a kid trying to lose weight and eating pizza every day it just doesn't work and So so it made you feel worse, but you kept doing it I kept doing it because it was like this adrenaline rush and I was trying to fit in with everybody I was trying to be that cool a quote-unquote cool kid selling drugs doing drugs and I just kept doing it because I didn't want to lose friends. I knew if I stopped then I would lose friends Because you guys connected over the drugs. Yeah, that was like our kid That was like our common, you know thing that we had going on together It was that we would do drugs together we party together and we'd sell drugs And it was almost like I was more addicted to that than anything else now Were you also using at this time any other substances to numb yourself food for example? I mean, yeah, I was you know kind of I mean it was just for me I ate like crap and I but I didn't really think of it like that I just was like that's what what I knew to eat was I would eat like a cheese steak and pizza for lunch So I was stoned that would be like the cool thing to do is we would all get food with our friends It wasn't like oh my god. I'm so stressed. I'm gonna eat you weren't aware of it But it was yet a bad diet along with it Yeah, something that I didn't hear on any of your interviews like not a lot of people really dove into Your childhood and your your parents and your brothers and sir you have all brothers is that what it is all brothers So what's your relationship like with both your parents and then your siblings today? So today it's much better than what it used to be I mean before I would if you'd asked me like seven or eight years ago if I had if I What my relationship was like I would have told you a different story my mom and I had a strained relationship most of what while I was growing up because She really took it the hardest when I was going through all my stuff and my dad like My dad was just really like him and I never saw eye-to-eye. There was a lot of tension between us always and he's Unfortunately got a problem with not telling the truth and he's never really come around to like You know say he's sorry or anything. What do you mean by that? Explain that to me like he's what how did he lie to you? Growing up or are just saying that things would be done that weren't done saying he'd come to sporting events that weren't done saying he would have money didn't have money and so this create a lot of insecurities and Even today when I share my story, and I'm like, hey, you know, I was homeless I was on the streets like I didn't have a place to go He was like you weren't homeless, and I'm like well I was because you kicked me out of your house so technically like as much as I I'm not blaming you I'm just saying like I chose not to follow rules in your house. So therefore I didn't have a place to go and With him is this because of the was this because of the drug use that it kicked you out It was because of drug use and it was also because like I didn't get along with my step mom And it got to a point where we had to I had to shoot he had to choose between me and her and he chose He chose her and I mean I wasn't the best kid growing up. I mean I was I was a menace But my dad just I just never really felt like authentically loved I guess and even today He just has like if I sit and have a conversation with him Like you never get the truth out of him as far as like what's color shoes he's wearing? So it's just the more I've grown it's just been hard for me to really like put the time in To align with that my mom and I have an awesome relationship now I just walked her down the aisle at our wedding last week my brothers and I Definitely grown There was a time where I would to my brother's ten thousand dollars because of money They'd let me for drugs and I thought that relationship was forever gonna be over You know, but now like it's so much better than what it used to be you paying back. Yeah. Oh good deal Of course good deal. Okay, so take us to the the story that you told me when I talked you over the phone how you Got into fitness and how that it now is what you do Yeah, I mean so My life really turned around on Cinco de Mayo of 2008 when I was riding around with a couple of my friends We could pick up some oxy cotton. I mean at this point after I got involved with cocaine I had Looked for anything else and I'm in the pain and that thing was oxy cotton Five milligram percocet turned into me putting three four hundred milligrams of oxy at my nose every single day in Cinco de Mayo 2008 I We were in the car. I see these these lights behind me flashing as the cops I had a busted headlight and I just felt like my heart sink into the pit of my stomach And I knew my life was over at that point like I literally thought fuck my life is over and I was scared. I started crying. Why did you think that you have drugs in the car? Yeah, I mean I had a half a pound of pot in my car two thousand dollars in cash and When they pulled me over They you know, they had me roll down the window my friend in the back seat had an open container of alcohol Which I didn't know cops smelled it He gave the cop a hard time one thing led to the next he searched my car found the pot Felt on the found the money found a scale threw me in the back of a cop car and then my life Like that's when I really like had that feeling that like I knew I was gonna I was either gonna be dead or a rotten jail because I myself how old are you right here? I'm 20, but you're not very bright. No I mean all those things you're driving around one at the same time Yeah, it was it was a very dumb decision and then when the cops the cops actually asked me if they could search my car And I said yes to show you how bright I was So it's almost like you wanted to get caught or in trouble. Yeah, it was weird Somebody else ever troll actually when he was interviewing me said the same thing He's like I feel like you wanted to get caught for some reason. Yeah I mean it just that's kind of like drug dealer 101 You don't drive around doing breaking the law like nine times in your vehicle when you got art You're already doing something illegal, which is drug dealing, you know So that's already bad enough and then to be doing like five other things in your vehicle that could get you caught It's just like it's almost like you wanted to get in trouble. Yeah, and I Ended up going to court a couple months later and I was cuz I was charged with when I got arrested they charged me with a felony intent to distribute marijuana and when I got to To court the judge he's he was like I have every reason to sentence you to jail right now Right, and he was like I'm sent. You know, he's like I'm convicting you of the felony. He's like I'm gonna sentence you to five years Suspend everything but 90 days. I mean I had to do the 90-day bit in jail Five years probation 200 hours community service all kinds of drug classes and fines But he's like Doug if you complete everything without messing up, I'll take the felony off your record and At that point like I said I was 20 years old but I didn't think I was gonna live to see my 25th birthday and are reported to jail about a week after my 21st birthday and Detox cold turkey of oxy because I had that. Oh, wow for three weeks. Now. How bad was your oxy? Like how much were you doing? How bad was this addiction up until this point? You're already on oxy you're already fucking that's the highest level of opiate like pretty much other than like a fucking heroin Right, so you're doing basically pill formed heroin and that's got to be the most I mean, I've been addicted to Viking and I've talked about on the show and you know I think the the peak I got to was like 10 10 Vicodin in a day, which was a nightmare to come off of I can't imagine what it was like coming off of oxys Terrible man. It felt like you're trying to crawl out of your own skin I felt like you had the flu for like three weeks like literally like three weeks and It was awful. I mean and then like, you know, you're like You know shit uncontrollable you're puking all that stuff because I was shakes Cold sweats because I was doing like three four hundred milligrams big the day before the day I went into jail I literally snorted like three eighty milligram oxy pills and then went right to jail I was like, well, this is it like bomb voyage, right? And then and then like then I detox and I'm like on my last week of detox And I just gotten into this like common area because when you get into jail, they book you and you're in like this These pods and they figure out where you're gonna like actually stay and I get into my like work My arm actually gonna stay in my soon-to-be-sellmate was the dude who changed my life Was the guy who was like a more fit version of Brad Pitt from from fight club. I'm kind of like Sal a little bit, too You know that way. How can you look like Brad? But he he was doing like all these push-ups and pull-ups and like climbing the rails now Are you intimidated? Are you walking in you see a buff dude in prison? You know all the stereotypes about You know, I was really scared. I was scared about that. Yeah, were you like this dude's gonna try to have sex with me Like I don't know Like are these the thoughts that are going through your mind and not with him, but I did have those thoughts like my Literally like I thought I was gonna get have raped beat up cuz I was always I was like the goofy, you know scared Uncoordinated kid. They like those guys Yeah Well the judge said to me he's like if I see you in my freaking courtroom again He was like I'm sending you you're gonna be in a cell with Bubba and like the big in the big He actually said that. Yeah, he's like you would last more than 10 seconds and I was like, ah, you're right So when I was in jail What I was scared and we just started we played Scrabble We were playing some Scrabble and so he was cool to you right out the gates He was super cool, which was weird because I totally opposite of what I thought was gonna happen But he's like what the fuck you doing in here homes and I was like I got busted with we he's a weed He's like, what'd you do and he's like you don't ask people what they did in jail Like, you know, that's like the thing like you know, did you ever find out what he did? Yeah, he told me he had like it was just like a bunch of like Burglaries and he had like for drugs, right? But he had like a hundred felonies on his record just from like getting caught from oh, yeah And was it was ironically he had just done 10 years in PA and then was there for a detainer In the county I was in and then he I remember him looking at me He's like you're gonna start working out with me when your detox is over and I was like what like I never formally really exercised I had a couple sessions with a trainer back in the day Like my dad forced me to when I was 12 because I was like overweight And then I played football like, you know one year before I decided that you know 5-8 Uncoordinated scared kid doesn't doesn't belong at offensive guard Target really bad position for you And um and I remember like one night I just finally decided to give it a try and remember getting down into a now How long was the detox process three weeks so three weeks your puke and feeling like oh man Now is he hammering you about working out this point like hey man, since you feel better You're gonna work out. Yeah, he just kept drilling me and drilling me and drilling me with it Now were you intimidated to start working out by him? Oh, I was so scared So you're like I need to work out cuz when you're in jail and you're going through the withdrawal So they don't do anything for you. You just have this what happens. Well, what happened was I Had a prescription as a box zone to take with me in there But because I mean of course again my the bright brightness of me you can't take a narcotic with you in jail So they wouldn't let me bring it in I could have it when I got out which did me no good And they gave me like stuff for tremors They gave me stuff for sleep, but nothing like what nothing helped because I was so used to like yeah Just being like yeah tranquilized. I hear some night will do it man Wow, okay, so so you're coming out of detox and then you just what made you decide I'm gonna do what this guy says is it because I'm scared of him or is it because you're like I need to do something Or culmination of the two um I think it was just like hit just him just constantly being that guy who never quit on me Even though like the first time he asked me I said no and he just kept going and going and it was more like that Unconditional love that I felt from him for some reason like I just interesting it was weird It was it was like because I guess because of my relationship with my dad It was like the first time I felt that somebody had really Giving me unconditional like love like dude. I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna help you You're gonna get so he's looking out from you. Yeah beginning on yeah And it was and then I saw him and I saw how like ripped he was and it was something I always wanted but I never had because I wanted abs I wanted arms I wanted this I wanted that but I never had it because I was so like in my eyes like far off in the Health world that there was like there's no freaking way. It's gonna happen I think a lot of people fall into that trap like I'm never gonna get there I'm never gonna get there, but if you never start you're definitely never getting there. So I just knew I was like, you know what like what do I have to lose and then when I went to Do a push-up and I couldn't I was shocked I was like fuck and I was like dude. Why can't I do a push-up? He's like cuz you're fucking fat. I Was like what and he's like you're fat and I'm like I know but he's like well You're not nice about it. Yeah And I was like and at that moment. I was like what the hell if I let myself come to I can't even do a freaking push-up I can't do one for my knees. I could barely look up and down the steps without like getting out of breath I was like man. I got to do something and him he was just like I'm like, are you sure you're gonna stay committed to me because I had like some trust issues So stuff with my family that I didn't I thought he would like do it for a few days and stop and then I'd be like completely like deflated you know and He was on me every day in there and like put me on a little meal plan, which is tough in there because how do you do a Meal plan in prison. What does that even look like? Tana tuna slice of bread. No, skip the mashed potatoes. Yeah skip the mashed potatoes skip like whatever pasta we got No bread no like oodles and noodles none of the common stuff on commissary like I wasn't allowed to get except for like I think we had like two. Yeah, we got packets of tuna But he was like if I catch you cheating on your diet. He's like I'm punching you in the stomach Wait, I think we're stumbling upon a very effective You eat the wrong thing you get your ass kicked you were Intimidated into eating like you're like fuck. I better do this. I'm gonna get my ass kicked seriously Because then there was like one night like later on where I cheated and I ate like a bowl of ramen noodles And he was like, all right, Doug you're running three miles or I'm punching you you take your pick and I'm like I'm like, but you didn't catch me somebody else caught me. He's like he's like Doug. I swear to God. He's like, I'm gonna break your ribs Damn Wow, okay. So so so what's it look like now? You're doing all this stuff. You're staying super consistent because you're scared Yeah, so like what ended up happening was after that one night I started It motivated me to at least give it a shot. And I was like what else do I have to lose in here like and he would really like Changed I think for me was how he had me shift my mindset of the victim to the victor mentality Because obviously we were cellmates who he's asking about my story and how I got there and I was blaming everybody I was blaming my parents. I blame my family. I was blaming my friends blaming this blaming that everybody else's fault, right? And he was like Doug stop being a fucking bitch and I was just like What like he was like you can be a man or you can be a bitch And this is like a lesson that I still use today any with anything I struggle with man, bitch, man, bitch What are you gonna be and it's like you can be a man and take responsibility for your problems Look at yourself in the mirror and say, you know what? It's up to you to make decisions to change You got yourself here. I don't care how many people did you wrong? You're here because you're here or you can be a bitch like most people Cry in the corner say well is me and not take responsibility and that for me was like fuck. He's right Did you was this the first time you ever felt empowered? Yeah, because I was like wow like I I have the power to change and I didn't really believe it But I had to almost have that by that fake faith that blind faith because I knew if I didn't believe it I get nowhere and I knew I just had almost like not fake it to you make it I don't know if that's the right word, but I literally had to like force myself into it And so I just took it day by day. I said that we can do one day at a time in the mornings I would either walk or run Depending on the debt like depending on like where I was at my journey So I started of course with just like walking laps and then they give you access to outside unlimited or is it? No, it's all indoors and like this common area You can like walk around like the tables and stuff inside of literally just walking in circles inside Yeah, we'd have a doubt have a deck of cards and I would like literally like count how many laps With the deck of cards with the deck of cards and then that slowly turned into me running like run walk So I would do that for about an hour and then at night was like calisthenics So like one night was like push-up day where I would do like I don't know It was like five sets of like three push-up I was something like where we would work our way up to be oh my whole goal was to go do a set of ten push-ups when I got out of jail Well, and so like one night we would work on Like push where we would do like, you know the pull-ups or push-ups and then like dips off the chairs and and stuff And then like the next day like more conditioning was like jumping jacks and like abs and no access to any weights or nothing Yeah, no, it was just like all body weights all body weight stuff and like and then like We would do like we would do some stuff where we'd felt like water bags like and do like curls and stuff And like do like some shadow boxing hmm But it honestly taught me a lot that you really like I mean you can get a great workout Which is your body weight like I mean I've even used like just if I'm like if it's like snowing I don't I can't get to the gym. I'll jump like I'm gonna do 500 push-ups You know like what's the workout culture like in prison because I know that that's from what I've heard and read that There's a there's a workout culture within there Not everybody but there's like a segment of people that that's that's without that's how they so they spend their time That's how they spend their time. That's how they rehab themselves or that's just how they they pass the time Was there a workout culture in there? No, I wouldn't say it's a culture people definitely did some stuff. I mean where I was at there was no gym So like people you would see people doing different types of push-ups and sit-ups and ab work But where I was at like most people weren't working out which was kind of weird because they would all kind of They all kind of cheered me on because they saw me who was like this degenerate who walked in when I first like day one They're with a good zombie could barely like keep up with like even like my daily habits of like making my bed and like making it to Breakfast like that's the half-pound weed guy Nobody was harassing you as you first. Yeah. Did you have a did you have like any cat calls or anything? Did you have like a shitty nickname? No, I mean not really. I mean people like they just kind of felt sorry for me It's like this kid does not belong in jail like what's he doing here? Hmm, and It was cool. I mean you're like the Rudy of prison. They all wanted No, it was I was literally like the Rudy they were all like cheer me on to make is it They're like there's no way this guy like they probably looked at me There's no way that guy's making it out of here Do you think most of them were drug offenders if you had to guess? I mean a lot yet or a lot were using drugs that caused some sort of offense whether it was a robbery or burglary Some obvious there's a lot of assaults in there So there are a lot of like stuff in there for like traffic like suspended license suspended registration stuff like that where people like We're just in there for just repeat offenses. Yeah So it wasn't like all your murderers and rapists and all that There was like there was a guy in there who had like an armed robbery charges Like I mean he was facing like I forget like 12 years or something But you know it depends on like your crimes. I think they organize you by your crime on where you Where you go? How long how much time did you end up spending in there doing this 72 days? So my sentence was 90 days. I was backing up five years if I made any mistakes I would go back for five But I got like good behavior and then I got a job and they're like wiping down tables that took time off my sentence too But I didn't want to leave when I left I was like crying when I left jail. Oh, wow now why? Because I was leaving my cellmate. It was weird. It was like almost like I don't know if it was a codependency thing Or what but I was like how am I gonna make it now without the Stockholm syndrome, right? Yeah, like how am I gonna make it like with like I felt like my life Was forever changed because of this dude like not giving up on me and like holding me to my feet to the fire I mean the irony of it all it sounds like the first guy that ever kind of believed in you or or cared Yeah, like you yeah, and I think I just didn't want to let him down So he was like I was like how am I gonna repeat because at the end when I my mindset started to shift I remember my dad and my brothers came to visit me like towards the tail end of my sentence And my dad was always like a yeller and we were in the visitors room and he's like yelling at me You're gonna go to rehab my fuck rehab. I found fitness and he was like you're gonna rehab and I'm like dude Why I was like I'm in jail like why are you yelling at like how much worse can my life freaking get like I'm in jail Yeah, I just remember I remember hanging up the phone and this was like a big turning point walking into my Cell and looking at Eric and that's fucking work out and at that point I learned to use my pain and turn it into motivation because I knew that I had all this stuff built inside of me That was just gonna sit there and I either had the choice to let it sit there and rot the fuck out of my body Or I could recycle it in positive ways because that energy just stays there unless you Journal it out or get however you do it to get it out of your body I believe you got to do it in a more positive way and like that's when I started like learning that Like I can use all this stuff in a in a healthier way and it changed things for me and when I when I left I Told myself I was like how can I repay you just don't fuck up and pay it forward And he gave me a workout plan that I still have framed in my place. So I never forget where I came from I bought like the soon as I got a job. I bought like the encyclopedia of bodybuilding by Arnold. Oh, yeah Yeah, I read that like 17 times and they started getting like muscle and fitness and men's hell I just stuff that I just knew like Would help because I didn't know everything. I mean he knew enough, but I didn't I mean I was so fresh in the game I was just trying to figure out like how it even gets started with everything Did you had did you decide that you were gonna work in fitness when you came out? No, I was literally because of my the stipulations of parole and probation You have to have a job within a certain amount of time. So I like literally I didn't think I was gonna be a trainer because I was just like You know, I didn't I didn't really know if that I was gonna want to do that But I got a job at a liquor store ironically like a few months later to me a few months get a job Sounds like a bad idea. I mean I think honestly it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be I mean I never had a drinking problem For me like I mean I still drink every once in a while now And I never have an issue with it, but it was just more like why I'm drink It's like why I always say why if I'm if I'm drinking because I'm socially out with a friend trying to have a good time Or I'm wanted, you know out with my girlfriend or whatever it is Versus like oh, I'm super stressed. I'm just gonna you know put down a bottle. Yeah, put down a bottle of wine Oh, that good sign. You have a problem when you're drinking by yourself now How hard was it though to get a job that had a difficult it was really I mean I quite the resume before I got Into jail I had 21 jobs by the time I was 21 Wow Yeah, cuz I was like I would work for a few weeks and then I quit because I was like oh I can make like seven dollars an hour like, you know drying cars or I can just sell like a pound of pot I dated a girl like that one time. Did you yeah? She skipped around from job to job all the time and kept touch She said well this one pays me a dollar more and just like this is you know Some guy like me would get an inner or getting a resume like that I would tell you to kick rocks because I'm like you're not committed to anybody fucking 21 years 21 years old you've had 21 no, I know I know it was horrible, right? And I was obviously I was not proud of it and then so then I would always have to check a box Have you ever been convicted of a felony? Yes, you know And they're like oh how many jobs you have my god 21 they're like what's the longest you ever made? I'm like I like two months. Oh, okay next yeah, and I got this job this liquor store and I worked my ass off I never I never called out. I was always early. I always like stayed late I worked my way up to being the assistant manager and then it got to a point like after about I was there about a year So this is probably 2000 2009 I got out of jail at the end of 2008. I Decided I was like wow like I really started to to transform my body I had lost like 50 pounds at this point by working out reading stuff from muscle and fitness reading the stuff from Arnold You know change completely changing my nutrition to the point where I was now focusing more on eating like healthier foods like all day every day and Decided that I wanted to help other people use fitness to change their lives. So I became ended up wanting to become a trainer Back in 2000 the end of 2010 was when I really like made the decision to do it Well, and where did you go from there? Did you end up working for a gym? Yeah, so what ended up happening was I was still working at the liquor store because I swore to myself That I wasn't leaving without giving notice because I'd never done that before and I found a job at this local Wellness that they're called the Mack the Maryland athletic club And I remember like going in there getting interviewed and I was like this I was I sold them on the spot with just like how fitness saved my life Oh, you told him your story. Well, I didn't tell him everything I just told him how much weight I've lost and all that and then she's like all right You're high. Can you start like next week? I was like, yeah, but there's something you have to know Like I'm a convicted felon. She was like what and I'm like, yeah, I mean I'm and she's like So she like asked me some more questions about what happened. I was like listen I'll pee in a cup every freaking day. I was like, I'll do whatever it takes. I'll never miss a day I won't let you down. Just please just give me a chance. I was like, please and after like a few weeks of them going to HR And talking to different people on the in the club I was given a chance they gave me a chance and I remember jumping up and down. I was living with my grandparents at the time and I just felt like I could take that torch that Eric had given me and pass it on and Help other people with the gifts. I had been given about how to like internally change themselves from the inside out with fitness and I became a trainer back in 2011. I got certified to the NSCA in April 2011 and my first year as a trainer I like I Broke all kinds of training records as far as revenue. Did you really I was like the highest grossing trainer out of like 75 trainers in the whole company That's cool. Yeah, and it and it's not like I don't say that the brand I say cuz I just knew that like I was on the right path like I literally like you felt Just was it the passion where you just talking about it all the time Relate with people really well easily because I'd be like they would be like because the most people when they look at trainers a Lot of times they're like, oh, you've been fit your whole life or even this even that you know, it's like one of the stigmas and I would ask people I would just ask people questions I'd be like, you know, so like what are you trying to do like I want to lose weight I'm like, oh, why do you want to lose weight? Like I want to feel better myself. I'm like, well, why and they're like, what's what? What are you feeling like? Oh, I feel like insecure out in the mirror I was like, oh, I felt that way too like and then I would just be able to like hook them like that And then talk to them and relate to them and they'd be like, oh like really and I'm like yeah You want to meet it if you need any help reaching your goals. Let me know and I was really like Passive about it. I wasn't aggressive and most people just kind of liked There's like this regular dude like I wasn't like anything special, but I just I just went over the top of my clients I really cared about them. I really wanted them to see results I didn't tell them I didn't do anything that like I didn't know how to do and I just got really passionate about training people and helping people and I worked at the Mac for probably Gosh six years and was always like their top producing trainer. I mean and You know, I just again, I just knew I was on the right path. It seemed easy for me What's happening at this point with your family? Like what's your mom and dad saying? Why this is why you're getting back on track. You're not doing drugs. You're starting to kill it You're the top trainer. I mean, what are your siblings saying? What are your mom? What's your mom? What's your relationship like during this time? Well, there was always like oh, I'll speak for my mom first I mean, there was always a lot of distrust between my mom and I because I got kicked out of her house one on my 16th birthday because I got busted she busted me with some pot and this is right after I'd had a party when she was in the hospital So it was like our relationship was like tense And so, you know, then when I got arrested like she had this huge She didn't believe that I was gonna change like because you know, that's like that whole thing where I'm gonna change I promise I promise and you don't you don't you don't it just creates this mistrust sure And um, so even when I got out there was still like all right. Well, just don't just make sure you don't mess up Don't mess up. Are you clean or you clean like there was a lot like she still didn't really trust me and it didn't take until Now when she's like that and you know, you're on the right path Is that creating conflict between the two of you? Of course. Yeah, because it's hard because inside I'm like I am I have no I have no, you know, I have no cravings for drugs I have no intention of doing anything and then she's telling me that and it's like, all right Well, I mean I'm changing I'm like I'm like at first I was the polar opposite of what I am now the most unhealthy kid you could think of and now I'm like the healthiest kids like You know like packing like chicken and broccoli with me when I'm traveling and like I just felt like I couldn't win And then I over the years I had to understand like where she was coming from And that there was only so much I could do on my end that I wasn't gonna Only way to convince her that I had changes for me to continue to get better and changed Do you remember when you had that realization? Do you remember when you transitioned from being the son? It was kind of bitter and angry that your mom still felt this way about you to this like, okay I get where she's coming from and and owning that part It was really like honestly like not to get like spiritual but when I became a christian um back in 2014 I mean, I wasn't always I mean over the years I was less bitter towards my mom obviously But then when I when I became a christian It wasn't like for me like a big spiritual awakening It was more for me that I learned that all this stuff happened for a reason for me And that like I was it was meant for me I meant I went through all this stuff for for a reason like to be able to share my story and help other people And I remember like when I first like gave my life as a christian I got on my knees and I cried Um because I just I just felt like that monkey came off my back and I called my mom and I just said I was I don't know what it was but I just said I was sorry. I remember I was having lunch and just being able to finally like calmly talk to her like as a son And being like, you know mom like I know I didn't handle things the best as a kid And I'm just really sorry and she actually said the same thing to me And that on our relationship. Gosh like exponentially change after that because we got really we got real with each other and and for me A lot of the bitterness went away because it was like, you know, like me being bitter isn't going to make Her love me anymore. All right. The only thing that's going to make her continue to love me more And trust me is by the way I carry myself And that also goes back to the whole man versus bitch mentality like be a man Take responsibility like, you know, she may never she may have never came around but You guarantee yourself that she'll never come around if I act like a complete jackass, right? You know what I mean? So I had to really take ownership and with my dad. I mean my dad Um, he was always like he was always more so proud of me too Um, but again, we had like a a very like a different relationship because he just was He had this like temper growing up was always like just seemed like on edgy and angry and um and just came off In a way that was just like it just really put a huge strain in us and even when I got out of jail He like took he took credit for a lot of the stuff He was just saying like a lot of stuff happened because of him and like he was like I knew the judge So that's why the felony did this and I was just like, dude the reason like felony came on my record is because I did the work like not because you knew it and so I just eventually the more work I did on myself I and more stuff I like personal growth, you know, stuff. I attended. I just had to learn to like You kind of set some sort of boundary to make sure that like it's not like draining me, right? Because family can be tough sometimes right what uh, what characteristics and traits do you have of his of his? I mean I think he's an anxious guy. I definitely have anxiety. Um I think with him To he's he's kind of competitive. I mean, I'm pretty competitive not like not like too Not like too a fault But it's weird like with me and him that like how it's fun I hate to say this but I always said I wanted to be the complete opposite of him Like whatever he did like whether he was like a pathological liar And me saying now that I don't want like even if I like I don't I can't lie because I'm like if I lie It means I'm being like him or like he's got a really bad temper. I don't have a temper um You know and I think like it's just Like the thing that was really hard for me with him Was just watching the way That somebody that I thought was supposed to be the guy that really like was the one who loved us most like Treat me in the way that he did Um whereas now I mean in 10 years later or whatever 15 years later I've been able to set a boundary and we can have conversations But it's just not the same as it typically would be between a father and a son No Have you had any any drug relapses since you stopped? No, no Any feelings of wanting no None, it's weird. It was weird like the further away. I got from people. I was hanging out with the habits um Just changing my mindset like Like whenever I get stressed or anxious, which I still I mean I'm human, right First thing is my like, um, let's go smoke weed or let's go snort this It's like, uh, who can I call Where can I grab like a hike or run or go get a lift or what I'm just, you know, whatever it is versus before It was like impulsively doing whatever I could to numb the pain right away. Has anybody Uh, has anybody ever accused you of replacing one addiction for another with exercise? Of course. Yeah And you know people are like, well, you're just addicted to exercise and I'm like, well I mean Yes, I could see where people say that because I am pretty regimented with my workouts, but If I miss a week of exercise, it's like I'm not gonna I don't go crazy. You know, like I always take time off I don't really work out for any more than like an hour at the gym. Um I give myself some grace with the way I eat so I mean for me I think if somebody has an exercise addiction is they can't go one day without it They're in the gym for hours and hours and hours like their life depends on fitness where fitness is now part of my life It's not my life. It's part of it. Well, what you're telling me is it sounds like you're you're doing it because you take your You're valuing yourself, which is a little different. I think if your Insecurities were motivating you to work out then that might be where the pathology tends to come in And the self confidence that you've been building How has this played out in terms of like a significant other and have you do you have a significant other right now? Yeah, I have a girlfriend. Um, so it's definitely you know Help me in that sort of that sort of sense because Growing up like I never had any confidence with women. My self-esteem was terrible Um, because I was always like I could have been a model for Pillsbury and I was always told by like kids I looked like I had Down syndrome. So You know, I think sometimes like we get this false sense of who we are based on The external voices You know that that ends come inside of our heads and then we start to believe them And that's the problem right as we start to believe what people say to us Which is now I mean I've gotten to the point where I don't And so I just believed I was this fat Ugly kid my whole life And then the more I worked on myself the more fit and the more I worked out and Transform my body, you know the more I more confidence I had and the more I realized like I'm not that person I do have I am a good-looking dude. I do have great characteristics. I am passionate I am this I am that and it just really helped me like align with the right person I wanted in my life because for a while I was just chasing after whatever I could you know, like I could I'm like, wow, I'm good looking now. I'm like 6 body for whatever it is I'm gonna go out and try to find like the hottest girl possible and all it did was end up in like You know misery because like it was just like me just trying to like shoot after the wrong things Instead of really focusing on like finding someone that I really aligned with how'd you meet your girlfriend now on a podcast? Did she have a podcast no what happened was she heard your story? Yeah, I mean, yeah, well funny story was Her one of her best friends was a host of a podcast and this is like It's probably we've been dating now for about five months She was like are you looking for love and I was like, well, I mean if it's the right person like And I she's like I got the I got a girl who's like perfect for you And um, I was like, all right, so I kind of like didn't really know what was gonna happen after that And she ended up like just connecting us on instagram and we like we hit it off like right away. Good old instagram I was like Sift through those dms You slid in the dms that would happen And um, but yeah, we we hit it off right away and and it's like, you know My confidence now if I hadn't done what I've done all the work I would never have confidence that I have now in a relationship What's your craziest drug moment? And you don't get to use the the brain fart of driving around with a half a pound of weed and the scale craziest drug moment Oh, my craziest drug moment is probably um When I mean crazy or funny. No crazy. So I'll get I mean everybody I know that has been addicted to drugs or to the level that you were at Has got like a story and I'll give you any one that I remember we were sharing Pill addiction and with a friend of mine And he I remember I asked him I said, you know, when did you really know that you had like a fucking problem? He's like bro, adam, I'll never forget this. He goes I I remember throwing 30 of the percocets in my mouth and chewing them all up And he goes and then I swallowed it and my stomach rejected it and I vomited everywhere And he goes but that wasn't the moment that I know I realized that I had a major problem He goes when I scooped it up off the ground and put it back in my mouth was when I realized I had a fucking problem So I know you got to have some shit like that. I mean, yeah for me I mean when I really knew shit was bad was when I literally hadn't taken a shit for a month Whoa a month with no shit up in a month like what yeah, what day do you go? You was that bad breath? I was walking around like quasi moto It's going all the way back and like I literally remember um Having to take like an enema Yeah, it was so bad and like obviously I'm not gonna get into details of what happened But that was like one of the moments where I was like shit and then another one where I just did some like Fucked up stuff where I like I would tell my grandmother. I needed money for rent And she would give me like a thousand bucks or something and then I would go and just get drugs And I was just like, you know, you do it and then like afterwards you're like, man like how much longer can I keep doing this and um I mean there was a couple that come to mind. I mean I was always like the there was always times Like I would get really stoned and um, I would like fall asleep in a hammock My friends would like like firecrackers underneath the hammock And I would like fly out Speaking of frit what guys will do that when you're not on yeah, right? What's your what's your theory? Or what what do you believe about the importance of the circle of people you surround yourself with? I think it's so important like I always say the Surround yourself with people that challenge love and support you unconditionally and it's like you show me your friends You know show me your future and um Because I think for me like say that again show me your friends show say that again Show me your friends and like I'll show you your future like literally like Because you create this false sense of you create like this Your environment can give you like this false sense of normalcy Like if you think about a bunch of alcoholics who are in the bar like seven eight nine a.m They're staying there all day. They're like, oh, I don't have a problem. Everybody else is doing it Well, everybody else in there is doing it and then like for me. I thought what I was doing was normal I thought doing drugs selling drugs doing all that was like normal because everybody I was hanging out with Was doing that too. It wasn't till I got outside of that That I realized like hey like whatever i'm doing like it's not not right And so now it's like I only really surround myself with people that like add value to my life that are like Lifting me up, you know supporting me call me in my bullshit like holding me accountable And then we have common Futures and not common paths, you know because I think a lot of times like we get caught up in Oh, I've known so-and-so for 10 years we were that like I can't like leave him or leave her or whatever But it's like they're influencing or being around you to make every single bad decision you've ever made So you really think that's important guys. It's so true that we we tend to do that Right, we tend to hang out with these people that we we had we had a similar bad past and so we connect I remember when I first started to piece that together how important like my my circle was Now since you've put this all together and and I imagine you've already dealt with this You know, what's a recent relationship that you've had to kind of carve off? And who was it and how hard was that for you? Um, I mean there's been several but I mean I guess in the last few years It was like one of my best friends growing up Who got addicted to pain killers? Shortly after I did and then when I got clean he was still bouncing off and on off and on I'd always get the call from his mom from his girlfriend or his aunt or whoever it was You know help so and so help so and so and I just You know, I kept helping him and kept helping and then after a point in time I was just like dude, I can't help you anymore. Like I can't keep Enabling you I can't it's bringing me down. It's draining me Like you got to get help and if you're not going to get help I can't it's just it's and it's hard because I don't I don't want to like I don't think he's a bad person. I'm just like I can't keep you around in my circle unless you're like Really wanting to make your life better. Yeah. Where's he at today still still? I mean the last I heard he's I actually got a call from him a few months ago They had overdosed using jail. I think he's back out now I mean, I try to like keep tabs on social media a little bit, but um, it's tough I mean because What happens is even like I've gotten rid of like all my old friends like all my friends I hang out with now They're very they're fairly new as in like I've known them some five years six years seven years and I think a lot of people I feel Like thought I was judging them, but really I had no I have no issue with any anybody Just I knew that when I was hanging out with that group of guys and if they're going to continue to make the same decisions That it wasn't going to end good for me and I had to think of I had to think about myself And I thought about it I always thought about people pleasing everybody when I was a kid trying to fit in And I just knew that that just got it got me in jail and I just didn't want to do that anymore You you had mentioned Becoming a christian back in 2014. Yeah How how big of a role has a spiritual practice now that you have did you have a spiritual practice before? No, no because I grew up like old I was Greek. I'm Greek So I grew up old school greek orthodox Where my view was if you're good you went to heaven if you're bad you went to hell and I was like well Shit, I'm on the highway to hell like there's no saving me. Were you a prat? What did you practice where you're practicing? No, okay, so you didn't really have a spiritual practice before And what made you move into a spiritual practice later on and then again? How big of a role to that plane? I was huge. I mean I had a client who was uh Pastor to non-denominational church and um, he was like you should go to church with me. I'm like, yeah, man He said we can go to Chipotle after I'm like, I don't eat Chipotle That's a good selling point Church in Chipotle donuts there And he was like case of dillas He was like he said come on. I was like dude. I don't belong in church. I was like I'm going to hell for putting you through this workout. He's like come on man. Come on, brother You know, he's like this like, you know, he's like from North Carolina or whatever and um And I finally like I just got to a point and it was like in september of 2014 I was making a lot of money as a trainer. I was doing really well. I was fit. I was um, I'd been clean. I just written my first book from felony fitness to free and I I thought I should be happier Right. I was like, why aren't I happy? And I think it was because I still had held on to that burden like we talked about earlier with my mom and Just all I not just that but every other bad decision I made Was always sitting on my shoulder Whether it was the manipulating people that are to get money or Selling drugs or doing drugs whatever it was And I remember just like I was out in San Diego. I was in like a mastermind retreat that I've been part of And um, one of my mentors was like, dude, like you have no like spiritual purpose in your life He's like, what's your purpose? You have nothing like He was like, I'm not like pushing you to do anything But he's like, I don't know maybe try that like he's like, it's been huge for me And I was like, huh, he's telling me that my clients. I was like, I'll just give it a try So remember calling my client Ben I was like, okay, I think I'm ready to try this Jesus thing even though like to me like I hate it. What a great phone call. We'll take it for a spin. I hate it Take the Jesus free because I hate Jesus ride. I got so turned off by that stuff um And for me like I said when I gave my life to Jesus the day in his office I just felt completely like I felt like that same monkey come off my back That I felt like when I started smoking pot I felt like I could be comfortable with who I was and I really realized that There's no coincidence um That Eric helped me in jail use fitness to change my life and now I'm helping other people Use fitness to change their lives and um For me, it's just about not being an asshole when I'm a Christian It's like just like every other religion or spiritual practice It's like treat people with respect, you know own your shit um life's not all about me, um And just knowing like why things happen and and just gave me a sense of purpose Like I knew I didn't want to just be a trainer Like I didn't want to be the guy who's in the gym for like 40 years like I just wasn't going to be me. I knew I had something more special to share And that's why I've been really passionate about sharing my story writing books and just Just put myself out there because I knew like there was there was meaning and purpose in that Do you plan on having a family one day? Yeah, of course. I mean I I really I really want some kids. Um, I think I'm gonna be a great dad I mean I've learned a lot about what to do what not to do and just like the whole like Challenge of just like raising kid. I love a challenge. So there's like raising kids, especially in the society we live in now Um, I think it's important. I think I've just learned a lot of lessons and gotten a lot of wisdom on on some stuff like with You know like what's what's what makes what really makes people truly happy and successful and what that looks like and just being able to To kind of correlate that into my family something I'd be really proud to do when you think about that What's like the you know and in the relationship that you you lack with your father? What would be a thing that you know that you would do differently with your son? Uh, I mean like loving unconditionally Being very truthful and if you say you're gonna do something doing it stick into your word I mean I think your words everything obviously there's times where it gets tough. I'm not talking about those times Um You know and and just treating him with respect and not like I mean because I felt I just felt like this respected a lot when I was a kid and um And like not like and more like just being able to to challenge and support my kid In a way that's Like loving and I don't mean like sugarcoating stuff. I just mean where the kid feels like he like loves you and not like That you're like this trophy for him Because that's what I felt like I was a trophy Because you know we were obviously there was a lot of fighting when we were kids over the Child support and over custody and everything that kind of bled into to our family life And he always wanted me to be good at sports and I just wasn't good And I think that got into our relationships There was one time he would just scream at me from the sidelines when he was coaching scream And I remember one time just telling like dude like I don't want you coaching me anymore. Like you're embarrassing Like I'm like I'm like nine years old or whatever. I was I was like this isn't like the mba. Okay, like I'm not gonna be the next mj. Yeah Like I'm five two and like two like 150 pounds. I can't jump more than two inches Well, how's your uh, how's your business now? What do you what do you do for work now? Are you pretty happy with your level of success? Yeah, I mean, obviously you can always be I mean, I think it's gonna always be better But you know, I'm really happy with what the way things have turned have turned out. I mean I've um Got a pretty solid training business back home. I've gotten more into the online space as far as doing some coaching online I'm still trying to figure all that out You know, my third book came out Earlier this year, um, it's done really well. I think I've sold about over 500 copies Which has been cool for me, especially since I didn't have a publisher I didn't do like crazy amount of like advertising with it or whatever Um, and then the one thing I'm really trying to build up is my speaking career I mean, I just got done speaking to the Clemson Tigers and football team last week, which was awesome That's cool. It's super humbling. Yeah, especially for the unathletic guy. Yeah They didn't get my jokes either when I walked in there They were like, because they're all like serious like alpha males, you know And I was like they're like quarterback is like Trevor Lawrence is like one of the best in the country and um I'm like, I wonder how I'm gonna like break the ice of these guys because they all looking at like Who's this guy like 170? There's like coaches and staff. I'm like, my name is Doug Bob Some new walk on quarterback and they all look they all looked at me They were all like, oh, I'm kidding. I went up to like We're gonna lose I Went to my contact afterwards. I was like, did you get my joke? He said yeah, but nobody else did they thought you were serious I was like, oh, it's one of my no Most nerve-wracking moment you've had so far speaking and podcasting all that what's been the hardest Uh, definitely impact theory with tom. Yeah, it was hard. I mean because he's not a god believer That's why well that wasn't When he gave me the fucking tom he gave me the platform to share about it too, which is awesome, right um But he just he just chat he chat you never know like You know, what kind of questions people are gonna ask and he got like right in with like Okay, like what was your mind? How'd your mindset have to shift from you being in jail to like being I was like, you know and And then also I've just I've been following I've followed tom for forever So like just being able to sit in that same chair that I watched Other people sit in for years takes balls takes balls. Yeah. Yeah figuratively. Yeah. No, definitely um And just you know, he challenged me and I would say some stuff and he'd be like Yeah, but well, I mean because yeah, I don't like that answer. He's like, I don't yeah He's like, I don't like it. He's like, what else you got? You know, it's like He's like what a 12 year old really believe that and I'm like as I remember he asked me a question about bullying He's like I was like, well, I think if I was 12 like now, obviously, it's like, you know, knowing that people You know the way they treat you as a reflection of you it's reflection. I'm like, yeah I don't think a 12 year old is gonna want it. I'm like, yeah, he's right You know like because I'm thinking about now what I but I'm like when I was 12 I was like when I was 12 like there's no way I don't I was like, I don't really you know, it's tough Yeah, what you ever get back in contact with your cellmate the guy that kind of started all this Yeah, I mean I did for a while I actually ended up working out with him a few times Which was awesome because I got to keep up with him I could do like his routine with him and not like be slacking behind because I mean when I was in jail It I could never keep up with him ever and so when I got out I kept on the journey and was got to the point Where I could um, but then he kept falling back with some of his stuff So I just kind of it really broke my heart Um Because I saw him choose to save my life instead of saving his own But like I never forget where I came from As far as that like I still like I said I have the workout framed my place And it just would change it for me was who's asked me for money and I was just I can't give you money Man, I was like I'll be here to support you emotionally mentally whatever. I was like, I just can't send you money And um, I know we went back to jail and um And so it was it was tough But you know if he can't if he called me I'd answer the phone man that is tough It's tough that the guy that pretty much turned everything around for you Like looking to you to get things and you know that it's not for The best it's in your best interest or his best interest for you not to give him the money So with that that must have been a hard situation Yeah, because I'm a pretty emotional guy and I get invested with people and I'm like I put a lot of stock into relationships like friendships, you know romantic relationships stuff with my clients And so that like it crushed me because I felt I was just like man like what's gonna happen to me like I said because that was like I mean the self-sabotage initial thought right and I caught myself But I was like well if he's doing that like what the hell is gonna happen to me But I just knew it wasn't about me. It was about him and like how can I learn from what he's done to not go back into jail um Because it's funny the other day I was in jail volunteering and mentoring these some of these kids And it was just so surreal. I was the first time I'd ever returned on the other side of the fence since I went Since the day I went in like in a cell I was gonna ask you if you if you had plans to go and help people and yeah, so you have I just start I honestly just I had my first day on monday And oh wow, yeah, and it was cool because it's like there's like five kids. They're all like 16 17 years old they like some of them have committed, you know violent crimes Some have it just and just to be able to sit in there and just share wisdom with these kids It's really humbling and powerful at the same time It was also kind of strange because you're seeing like the same doors like closed behind you. There's no like Um, like super vid it was weird because the guard was like, yo my man looks like mark wallberg And I was like real I was like really The guy next to you go on never mind. No, it was funny because when I was in jail before they saw They thought I looked like spence from the king of queens Upgraded that's great. There's a long there's a long tradition of uh of fitness professionals or whatever Working with people in prison short snager did it they would go and talk to them about working out Yeah, they go pose for them and everything and there's a big deal when a lot of jails would move their their weights there was a big controversy around that because Psychologists talk about how much exercise can help rehab people Do you think it's a bad idea to take to take Weights and in exercise out of prisons Yeah, I do. I mean, I think it's I mean Obviously, there's there's pros and cons of everything. I mean obviously can cause fights and all that stuff But like as far as like what exercise does for you mentally and keeping like your sanity and like I mean, there's you can't replace like you cannot replace that like it's hard and especially like I think exercise In nutrition of two of the most underutilized tools we have to battle drug addiction Yeah Because people we always just want to give them a pill give them a pill do this do that but like That only works for so much. But how about your health because a lot of times people aren't using drugs Because they just want to use drugs. Yes, there's certain percent of the population that has that gene But there's a lot of people that are using drugs because they feel like shit about themselves Or they're insecure. They don't know how to cope with stress in a healthy way And so exercise Meditation all these other health practices that are coming to the surface Are great ways to replace Um those unhealthy ones that people have before and I think you just you got to do that as a Foundation because health is wealth, right? And I think like if physical health your if you're physically healthy It can improve your mental health your spiritual health and your emotional health You can be emotionally spirit spiritually and mentally healthy and not be physically healthy Right, so I just think it just trickles down and everything else now you the romantic relationship that you're in right now You've been in for like five or six months. When was the last relationship that you had before that? I mean relationships with me are fairly new because when I got out of jail, I was 21 and I had to rebuild my life like I knew like if I Try to get involved with anybody it was just not going to result in anything good because I had a lot of healing to do on My own so I didn't do I was scared to date anybody So you I mean you're a pretty self-aware guy you share your insecurities What are some of the insecurities that you're having right now with being in a relationship for the first time really and almost forever Um, I mean, I think the biggest and some of the biggest insecurities for me Um are am I am I doing a good job? because like I mean I well I grew up in a broken home and this is like You know, this is all kind of new to me So it's like I've done a lot of like reading actually like reading like books on like relationships and like intimacy to try To learn how to be like a better boyfriend Because like I'm like such a growth mindset that like if I don't know something like I'm going to try to like figure it out And I guess time figures you figure out stuff in time so that and then like Just also the fact that like um just in Like how like what's like how do how to progress everything like where do you like where do you go from here and Yeah, um, have you faced your first like I used to say that the things come in threes So third month third month six month nine month 12 month or our big milestones and relationships In have you have you hit some of the first like challenges and what were they and how did you get through them? I mean, I would say like There's always going to be I I mean at least from my understanding like challenges and relationships and I think You know for for us it's just more just getting to know each other more And I think the more we get to know each other the more like we understand like um, how we respond to certain situations and how we both like to communicate and um You know, it's like we're really like good for each other We're really aligned as far as like our values and our beliefs that we've like built like a solid foundation in that um And then so I think um that like really trumps everything as far as like we kind of like No, and like each other for who we are which really helps a lot. You guys haven't had a major fight yet Nothing crazy. No. No. It was the last one. Any role playing? No, no, no, you're the prison guard You know really even has to eat old times Um great great story dug. I I appreciate kind of what you're talking about and your honesty And your honesty. Yeah, I really do appreciate that a lot I can feel that you feel like that you have your sense of purpose I can feel that through talking to you. So that's how you got yourself on the show and I think you did a good job Thanks guys. I really appreciate it. Yeah. No, I appreciate you man. Keep doing what you're doing. Thank you. Thank you Thank you