 Hi y'all. She was seven. I'm back. Okay, so I have been getting a lot of questions lately in my inbox people are asking me What to do about this situation about that situation and the two main situations that keep popping up are Breakups your man left you or he left you for a younger woman or a different type of woman and you try to get him back Okay, so I'm gonna tell y'all why these men are leaking. Okay? first of all Certain men don't like to be bossed around by a woman or they don't like to feel like they're living with their mothers So if you're always constantly nagging him telling him to do this this and that and you know Don't lift him up and make him feel like he's a man or whatever. He's gonna go find someone who can they can be ugly They can be ratchet. They can be Disgusting but as long as they make him feel like a man. That's what he is gonna go for it Okay, you can be the most beautiful woman in the world Have everything going for yourself But if he doesn't feel like a man with you then he's not gonna be turned on by you anymore And he's not going to want to please you and he's not gonna want to come home. Okay, so I'm just keeping it really all I know so many women who will tell me well I told him this and he didn't do this and no man wants to live with their mother forever Okay, and if you're acting like his mom instead of his partner or his woman Then he's gonna go find someone who will act the way he wants to be treated Okay, and that's just it you can be with if you don't have a ring on your finger If you're not his wife, even if even if you are his wife, he's not going to want to be bossed around Especially by a woman. Okay Now this is where the mentality comes in on how to get what you want. Okay without being you know Bossy or like his mom. Okay. You got to trick people into thinking stuff was their idea in the first place But the second thing is why are men leaving their like long-time wives or long-time girlfriends for something else? They get tired they get bored if they're not if you're not married to someone and you've been shacking up with them for like five six Years and they disappear They never planned on marrying you anyway, just so they could have an escape route. Okay, they're like man I'm not married to you. I don't have any obligations to you. It's easy all I can do is just Get up and leave it. I'm done. You know no explanation. Yeah, you wasted ten years of your life with me, but that's your dumb fault, right? so ladies don't shackle up with the man for over two years if he's not willing to Make a full commitment and marry you. Okay after two years if he's not talking about marriage move on Okay, or kick him out Because a lot of guys are just using you for half the rent or using you for the whole rent depending on what type of woman you are So let's just say you're married and your man all of a sudden Leaves you and says look I'm done. I can't take it anymore. It's been 15 16 years and you're like, oh my god And he left you for a younger woman or a different type of woman. What do you do? Well, first of all, he left you because he's tired of you. You're boring. You're old He's already been there and done that he wants something new and exciting He's going through a middle-life crisis a midlife crisis as they call it He wants something to make him feel manly young like he feels like his life is halfway over And he wants to enjoy it again. And you know if he's with someone who's Blah, you know boring doesn't want to go out anymore stuck at home with the kids This is when men start getting you steer crazy. Okay, so that's why a lot of women y'all got to find babysitters Y'all got to go out with y'alls guys y'all y'all got to change up your look y'all got to keep up with the latest things the latest trends because guys and Like to feel young especially when they're getting older they're feeling like oh, do I still have it? Do I still have it? Can I go out there and pull another woman? Okay, and Most men get this that's why when they get older they go buy a sports car or you know Do buy some stylish clothes or go on vacations and stuff They want to feel young. So if you're making them feel older and dragging them down Instead of keeping up with the you know If you're always up on the latest trends and you're always, you know got the latest style and you look cute You're gonna make them feel young. Okay, they're not gonna feel like they're with some old woman So ladies you got to take care of yourself. You got to keep up with the latest trends You got to keep yourself looking good. You got to keep up and do new things make turn him on to some new stuff Okay, also sexually if you're boring in bed and there's some freak out there that's gonna do what you won't do because there always is Then he's gonna become interested in those things that you're not doing, okay And if you're not comfortable doing those type of things and you're just like no way I ain't ever doing that blah blah blah And he really pushing for it You know, this is the kind of stuff that drives men to cheat and do things with other women, right? So I'm not saying do it because you know, he might cheat on you I'm just saying you know explore the option talk about it. Maybe get some movies watch it and say Make them feel like, you know, this is really what you want, you know Just see how he feels about it and if he's really pushing for it, you know Maybe you can consider it and if you just can't consider it and just tell him look I love you I know this is a fantasy. I got some fantasies to do a counter fantasy Like I got fantasies of doing this. This is a net to you. Would you want to do that? I'll do this if you do that and chances are he's gonna say no Because you're gonna make your fantasy really bad so that he'll understand that you're not comfortable Just like he's not comfortable and he'll probably get it out of his mind because now he understands You know that you want him to do some stuff that he's not comfortable doing either, okay? So he'll probably either let it go or just you know visualize it You know and keep it there in the mental instead of trying to go and figure it out Physically with somebody else at least he knows, you know and you can kind of scoot around the subject or maybe tease with the subject and you know in bed or whatever, but never go all the way Unless you're comfortable enough later on down the line, you know, whatever but basically Most guys leave because some women are more freaky So you have to be aware of that keep your sex life active keep it fresh talk about it a lot and Get it out there on the table. I know when couples are together forever They feel like oh you should be used to me now, but men are sexual creatures. That's all they think about is sex That's why it's so easy for women to control men. Even if it's not, you know verbally It's mentally, you know everything with them revolves around sex, especially with women so if you can understand all of that and Use it to your advantage Then you're gonna, you know, you're gonna be able to keep your man He's not gonna be out there looking for something younger and more freaky because you're already gonna be exactly that You're gonna keep your appearance up. You're gonna, you know, try to stop from looking like an old woman You're gonna dye those gray hairs. You're gonna put your makeup on every day You're gonna go and listen to the latest music get the latest trends and try to keep up because Once you fall behind and you look like a has been and your husband is seeing all these, you know Really pretty girls who have the new styles and new, you know, this and that and you're still like doing your makeup fine from the 80s or the 70s or whatever and Everything has changed and you just look like a has been they're gonna start seeing you like that like as a old motherly figure So you got to keep up. I mean it's like if You're not comfortable with doing that Then just imagine how uncomfortable you're gonna be when he goes out cheats on you or tries to replace you With something a new model Let's just say okay a lot of people are saying well when you get old your husband's gonna replace you with the new model and You just with him cuz his money and he's gonna find somebody younger. I don't even like I Married a guy who I am the younger model. Okay. I'm here an older guy Just so like if that happens, he's gonna be super old. So what's he gonna get? Okay, I'm young so That's why I always push for if you want a guy with money if you want a guy that's stable Go for an older guy because they won't leave you for a younger girl because you are younger, okay? Chances are they'll probably have been divorced from an older woman and You're a breath of fresh air to them. They're gonna be like, oh my god. She's so young. She's so youthful She makes me feel young blah blah blah blah if they go any younger, they're gonna feel old Okay, so you make sure you get a man who if they you know They're already a little bit older because if my husband went out and got anyone younger than me He would feel super old. So they would work and reverse on him. So I'm just letting y'all know Keep your appearance up stay on to the latest trends talk about things sexually And starting like if if you can't do this and you're just like, you know what he left me I'm good. Let me start over if you try to get your groove back as I call it Do the same thing go get a new look Update your wardrobe update your makeup update your hairstyle update your language because I know people that still using language From the 80s or that's not even in like no, okay Your your vocabulary will give it away and if some people deem you oh my god They're still saying that oh that's so uncool, you know, they still say you know So when someone was telling me something the other day like and like be careful how you speak because like People will laugh at you if you're not up to date like everything is, you know So modern and there's so much technology in the world if you slip up and say something's like wrong They're gonna be like, oh, he's old. He still says he still talks about taping stuff or like, you know How many DVR something or record something to watch it later on the digital recorder? Some people still say I tape I'm like you take okay. He must be old So watch your language because some people will give their language away and when something is out of style when the trend is over Give it away. Put it away. Don't try to keep wearing fanny packs and Stuff like that because it's aging you Okay You don't know how many people I see with stuff that gives their age away They'll still have something from like 1995 and they'll still have it and just like oh, this is my favorite. No, throw it away. Get rid of it. It's retro now Okay But the thing is yes, you need to stay up on the latest trends when you reinvent yourself you reinvent your attitude as well If you if there was something about you that you didn't like about yourself That was your weakness change it do the opposite, you know, if you were too nice to people be a bitch If you were too bitchy to people be nice, you know change because obviously, you know What you did before didn't really work. So you need to do a whole new inside and outside makeover And it'll be fun It's like an adventure and you'll see how people respond to you in a different way Because you've changed, you know, sometimes change is necessary to get to your next phase in life If you're gonna be the same person you were 20 years ago What's the point of living? You know, you got to change you got to look different. You got to be different You got to you know Have different and new ideas consider different things consider different types of people that you would have never considered before I know some women who are stuck on looks and Believe me, they got about three four kids with some very good-looking man But they don't have a ring on their finger and they don't have a house and they don't have this and they don't But they do have good memories of how good-looking that man was That's all they got because good looks don't pay the rent y'all unless you're a woman Okay, um I'm just saying Women who are caught up on looks Lose every time believe me. Okay. Don't get caught up on looks looks or not looks for a man. It's like Danger like when I ever see a cute guy I see danger danger danger because I know he's not going to do what I need him to do for me Because of the way he looks he's gonna feel like oh, well, I look good I don't have to do any of that women will flock to me women will keep fight for me women Will stay with me even if I dog them out. I don't have to do anything. Okay, that's how the mentality of very attractive men are Most of them so I don't I would never date or marry a very attractive man Man because I know how they think okay And some of them won't because some of them are just you know, unless you marry an equally attractive woman And y'all both look good like Boris Kojo and his wife You know, that's cool. But if one is not as beautiful as the other There's gonna be an imbalance and that's good for a woman But if you're the if you're the if the man is the pretty one, it's bad for the woman So what you need to do is get someone that's not as beautiful as you who thinks you're beautiful who would do anything to keep you and Who you will always be younger than okay, I don't suggest marrying younger men or men the same age Because women when they get settled and they get their kids and they just you know Want to be a home body that man is still sexually, you know turned on by different looking women They want to go out. They want to have fun Until they're about 50. Okay 45 50. They see you know, especially black men who don't age as fast They're still gonna be out and about out and about so you're not gonna want to settle down with someone who's gonna find a younger model You want to be the younger model, okay? And if you have a thing about age and looks and stuff like that You're probably gonna be the one that has to you know work hard Struggle go through a divorce or a breakup and learn the hard way Whoever loves you more whoever treats you better whoever is gonna do the most for you That's who you go with because they're gonna take care of you and their kids Okay, they're not gonna go off and abandon you and and and his kids To go find some newer looking younger looking different person because that's what you're gonna be already if You look better and they're much older than you. Okay, y'all get it. Okay. All right So anyway, I'm done. I'm gonna go ahead and Leave it at that if you'll have anything to add please add in the comments And this is just my opinion. This is I'm not telling y'all go out there and do this I'm just saying it works. It's a better idea There's less likely a chance for you getting left high and dry and You benefit from it, okay Your your youth is to have fun to date the cute guys to date the models I've dated supermodels. I've dated cute guys. I've dated. Yes, I did I've done all that when I was young, but I knew I was never going to marry one of those type of guys I knew The type of man I wanted I wanted my man to treat me Like a goddess, so I picked the right one. All right. I'll see y'all later. Bye