 I put him on my lap and his lips were moving, I thought, he's okay and that was his last movement. And then I went and stayed in the bedroom where the coffin was. That was hard and then Keith made us pick him out of the coffin and I was only 10, giving me a kiss on that and it was horrible and it ended with loads of chicks for a few years. I'm a right keen once. I just taught him all the time because I said he was a new kid on a block and I remember going down the tunnel and I said, right, he's like a new kid on a block. I'll tell you worse nightmare and it was 1-1-0 but he said afterwards in the paper, he said, thank God that game's over with. He says, I've never been talked to so much in my life. I used to say, I'm sleeping with your wife. I've been on the 19s and I was up in his office and he says, Gaza, what's this kid? I said, how old is he when 14? I said, what's his name? He said, Wayne Rooney. I said, he's on the 19s, he's only 14. He went, yeah, put him on in a minute. Well, he was 20 minutes ago and I put him on. He scored two goals and it was incredible. Looking back, let me see if I can hold the wish you would have took apparently. Yeah, my mind was just all over the place, you know. Sometimes it was okay, sometimes it was scary. I just felt like I couldn't go anywhere. I felt trapped in doors. I mean, the public were fantastic at the wards but just wherever I went, you know. And then obviously then the press started and that's when I found it really hard because the amount of lies, the amount of lies that I had on this was just horrific, you know. I was just constantly lying. It was a murder even and sometimes I've been in London and I'd see a couple of cars and a motorbike behind us and I'd have to ring up the police, pull over. Police come up, block them in and make me drive off. And then obviously it was the phone hacking. I went to the toilet in the dark, it was 2 o'clock and I touched the door handle next thing I know. I've got someone with the hand on my neck with a gun to me dead. He just said, you know, if you score, do the sas, you know what's a sas? He says that and he showed us. He says a fan that love it. When he said that, he says a fan that love it and I'm like, oh, I'll do anything for the fucking fans. I says, what's he going to kill us? He said, fuck me, what are you going to do about it? I went nothing. He says until he comes to our country. I said, we're not going to hang around the airport. So when I used to play, I used to look in the crowd and fucking look to see if anyone's got a gun and if I think of any teams I'd love to play, I'd go back and play for it. Well, when you quit, you think, what am I going to do now? And I didn't really want to go into management. I did try it, kept it in manager. It's funny. The chairman says, Paul, get out of the third division. I did, I put them in the fucking fourth. After that round war thing, I really honestly thought it was my friend and I didn't realise what he had did to other people until obviously after about two weeks when I put myself around and thought, fucking hell.